史黛西·施罗德

但我非常怀疑你会是那个人

But I highly doubt that you're the person that's gonna

我甚至不记得他对我不好

I don't even think he remembers treating me bad.

那就像是

That's, like, the

你怎么记得我的？

how did you remember me?

完全不记得

At all.

就像，不

Like, no.

我想我当时是在开玩笑

I think I was, like Just kidding.

我想我当时是 是的

I think I was a Yeah.

你知道吗？

You know?

是啊。

Yeah.

因为我

Because I

在纽约有些约会过的男人对我痴迷不已，而我却毫不在意。

have guys in New York that I dated that were, like, obsessed with me that I don't about.

但你和他交往了好几年。

But you dated him for years.

好几年。

Years.

你们交往了多久

How long did you date

他？

him?

三年半。

Three and a half years.

同居过。

Lived together.

那挺久的。

That's long.

一起过了好几个圣诞节。

Multiple Christmases.

哇哦。

Woah.

没我的圣诞节过得好。

Not as good as my Christmas.

确实没有。

Nope.

都怪我，我又回去看那些Facebook帖子了。

My bad because I'm back to the Facebook posts.

匿名的Facebook帖子。

Anonymous Facebook posts.

好吧。

Okay.

再次确认，我得到了发布或谈论此事的许可。

Again, I got confirmation I could post about or talk about this.

这就是那条帖子。

Here's the post.

男人和肛门以及肛门嗅觉是怎么回事？

What is it with men and buttholes and butthole sense?

我刚从健身房回来，男朋友就抓住我要亲亲抱抱。

I just come back from the gym and my boyfriend grabs me to kiss and hug me.

我浑身是汗，他却把手伸进我两腿之间，沾上我的肛门汗液，抽出手闻了闻，然后说闻起来像屁股。

I'm sweaty as and he goes in between my cheeks, catches my butthole sweat, pulls out his hand, it smells it and says it smells like ass.

他到底指望闻到什么味道？

What the did he expect?

我刚健身完。

I just worked out.

这不是他第一次这么做了，顺便说一句我可是个爱干净的姑娘。

This isn't the first time he's done it and I'm a clean girl by the way.

我每天洗两到三次澡，但他总挑我刚运动完没洗澡的时候碰那里。

I shower two to three times a day but he always goes back there not when I'm fresh out of the shower.

不，他专挑我跑步、散步或健身回家后这么做，而且事后总要闻自己的手。

No, he does it when I've come home from a run or a walk or a workout and he always smells his hand after.

这正常吗？

Is this normal?

我前任们从没干过这种事。

My exes doesn't have never done this.

这是某种癖好吗？

Is this is fetish?

你们有人经历过这种事吗？

Have any of y'all experienced this?

这绝对不正常，

It's definitely not normal,

但有些人确实对汗味很着迷。

but it's Some people are really into sweat smell.

嗯，我是说，确实存在

Well, it's I mean, there is

那更像是男性荷尔蒙，而不仅仅是汗味。

that's like a Men, it's a than a sweat.

这和汗味不一样。

This is different than a sweat smell.

因为它闻起来像屁股。

Because it smells like butt.

我想不出还有什么比这更难闻的了。

I can't think of a worse thing to smell.

好吧，事实上

Well, fact

事实上他

the fact that he

想死

want to die right

现在。

now.

他这么做了，他走过去，

He does it, he goes, it

闻起来像屁股。

smells like ass.

很明显。

Like, obviously.

比如，你需要知道吗？

Like, do you need to know?

因为她竟然允许他靠得那么近，近到可以用手指触碰肛门

Because it's like a The fact that she lets him close enough to just, like, finger the butthole

移动中的其实是狗。

in moving are actual dogs.

真恶心。

Disgusting.

互相闻对方的屁眼。

Smell each other's assholes.

是的。

Yes.

男人都是狗，我对此非常生气。

Men are dogs, and I'm so upset by this.

他们太恶心了。

They're so gross.

而且，我对她也非常失望。

And, also, I'm so upset with her.

她为什么要发这个？

Why does she have to post this?

因为她想知道是否我这个小系列里要引入的所有帖子都是女性发布的，内容都是关于这些男性做的奇怪事情

Because she was wondering if it was all the all the posts that I will be bringing into my little series are all women that are posting about these weird things that the

男人们正在做的

guys are doing as

她应该

she should

更加

be more.

对她评头论足

Judgmental of her.

嗯，因为这就像在分享

Well, because it's like sharing.

我理解那种费洛蒙

I get the pheromones.

比如，即使我有体味，贾里德也特别喜欢闻我的体味

Like, even when I have BO, Jared, like, loves to smell my BO.

我就觉得这太恶心了。

I'm like, this is disgusting.

故意尝试

Purposely try

去闻你的体味，还是

to smell your BO, or

他只是不介意？

he just doesn't mind?

他根本就不在意。

He just doesn't mind it.

他会说哦，你闻到了吗。

He'll be oh, you smell that.

区别。

Difference.

主动去闻和只是不介意是有区别的。

It's, like seeking it out is different than just being good with it and not minding it.

但这就像那些喜欢

But it's also like guys that like

在女生没洗澡时还愿意口交的男人，是啊。

like going down on girls when they're not Yeah.

这完全就是兽性本能，就像这种，

It's it's it is just animalistic, like this like,

听着。

Listen.

我觉得你圣诞节该做的是给她买我们播客里聊过的那种紧身裤。

I think what you should do for Christmas is she gets those leggings that have that we talked about on the podcast.

它们有

They have

那种臀部收紧的设计，她就穿着锻炼，然后直接送给他。

the The little the little cinch in the butt, and she just wears them, wears them working out, and then you just give them to him.

当你想闻我屁股的时候，就尽情享受这条紧身裤吧。

Whenever you'd like to smell my butthole, enjoy these leggings.

太难受了。

So upset.

是啊。

Yeah.

你还好吗？

You okay?

嗯。

Yeah.

我不知道能不能缓过来。

I don't know if I can recover.

等等。

Hold on.

我对气味很敏感。

I'm an odor person.

这真的让我很困扰。

It really bothers me.

我讨厌异味。

I hate an odor.

是啊。

Yeah.

我讨厌异味。

I hate an odor.

好的。

Okay.

我这一周做得最棒的事，就是完成了一件如此成熟、如此有母性的事。

My good week is that I did something so grown up and so mature and so maternal.

我给自己预约了专业摄影，天啊。

I booked a professional photoshoot with myself Oh my god.

还有我的家人。

And my family.

我对此非常期待。

I'm so excited for this.

这真的很酷。

And it's really cool.

我没有选择那种典型的

I didn't do the typical

配套服装。

Matching outfits.

配套服装或穿着白色纽扣礼服在海边拍照。

Matching outfits or on the beach in white buttoned gowns.

是奥斯汀的一位摄影师，她非常酷。

It's a photographer in Austin who is so she's so cool.

她只拍摄自然真实的瞬间。

She won't shoot anything that's not candid.

全都是抓拍的照片。

It's all candid photos.

所以就像是记录你生活中那些凌乱的瞬间。

And so it's like it's like the messiness of your life.

比如，你们看起来都很美，但你知道吗？

Like, you all look beautiful doing it, but you know?

所以这非常具有时尚杂志的风格。

And so it's very editorial.

这非常酷。

It's very cool.

所有这些。

All those.

而福特现在正处于一个特定的年龄阶段。

And Ford is a is at an age right now.

我就直说吧。

I'll just be honest.

我认为福特是个非常、非常敏感的孩子。

I think Ford I know Ford is a very, highly sensitive child.

比如，他并不随和。

Like, he's not easygoing.

对吧？

Right?

他身上没有半点随和的特质。

There's nothing about him that's easygoing.

嗯哼。

Mhmm.

他不是那种会跑过来跟你打招呼的孩子。

He is not the kid that's gonna run up to you and say hi.

他表现得非常谨慎。

It's, like, very cautious.

他太内向了。

He's so reserved.

扎克也是这样。

And this was Zach.

扎克生日派对上，他妈妈准备了充气城堡时，大家都在问：扎克人呢？

Zach, at his birthday party, when his mom had a bounce house, they were like, where's Zach?

他当时在前院浇花，因为后院对他来说太刺激了。

And he was in the front yard watering flowers because he just had too much stimulation in the backyard.

嗯。

Mhmm.

他还问，为什么这么多人在这里？

And he's like, why are all these people here?

是啊。

Yeah.

所以他性格这么倔强，我都不知道这事会

So he's so tough that I that I'm like, I don't know how this is gonna

怎么

go.

对。

Right.

我特别担心这会变成一场灾难。

I am so nervous that this is going to be a disaster.

他和圣诞老人在一起时直接拒绝。

Him with Santa Claus was Nope.

他的肤色和圣诞老人的衣服一个颜色。

He was the color of Santa's suit.

他因为必须和某人在一起而非常恼火，嗯，

He was so pissed that he had to be with Well,

他需要花点时间才能对人热络起来。

he takes, like, a while to warm up to people.

永远都热络不起来。

Forever.

是啊。

Yeah.

永远都那样。

Forever.

他就是扎克·马丁。

He is Zack Martin.

所以他花了这么长时间，我就想，这个女人走进来，她以为自己了解如何与孩子相处。

So he takes so long, and I'm like, this woman's gonna walk in, and she's gonna she thinks she knows what it's like to work with children.

是啊。

Yeah.

她自己有四个孩子。

She has four of her own.

她从没见过这样的孩子。

She's never met a kid like this.

噢。

Aw.

你们什么时候做这件事？

When are you doing it?

我们昨天已经做过了。

We did it yesterday.

你们呢？

You guys?

他是A级明星。

He was A star.

A级明星。

A star.

真的吗？

Really?

他夸张表演的样子我前所未见。

He was hamming it up like I've never seen.

他上演了一场我无法形容的表演。

He put on a show that I can't even describe.

你们喜欢什么，你们的氛围是怎样的？

What did you guys like, what was your what was your atmosphere?

你们当时在做什么？

Like, were you doing?

你们当时在哪里？

Where were you?

我们当时有两个拍摄地点。

So we had two locations.

她也只拍一小时。

She also only shoots it takes an hour.

就这样。

That's it.

哦。

Oh.

或者更短。

Or less.

哇。

Wow.

我家附近有个小池塘，旁边有个钓鱼营地，非常质朴可爱，还有鸭子什么的，挺有意思的。

There's a little, like, pond in my neighborhood with a little, like, fish camp, like, really rustic and cute and fun with, like, ducks and stuff.

所以我们选了那里作为其中一个场景，他还给鸭子喂玉米之类的。

So we did that, one of them there, and he, like, fed corn to the ducks and, like, whatever.

然后我们在家里也拍了，比如在不同的地方，像在他房间里陪他玩玩具，旁边就是那扇漂亮的大窗户。

And then we did it in our house, like, in different spots in our like, in his room playing with his toys with him by the beautiful big window.

超可爱。

Like Cute.

最后以他穿着尿布，拿着火箭棒冰，在外面开着他的塑料小玩具车兜风结束。

And then it ended with him having, like, a rocket pop, like, in just a diaper with his, like, plastic little tights car outside, like, driving it.

是啊。

Yeah.

所以整个感觉特别可爱又有风格。

So it's, like, so cute and so stylized.

但这孩子...我和Zach当时都懵了，这到底什么意思？

But this kid was I Zach and I were both like, what does this mean?

是说他对其他事情都不感兴趣，只有在专业摄影师镜头前才会活跃起来？

That he will not do anything or turn it on for anything but then a camera, a professional photographer?

没错。

Yes.

所以

So The

后端

back end.

他的

Of him.

我当时就觉得太疯狂了

I was like, it was crazy.

他真的就直视镜头，还转头展示他的小汽车

He was, like, literally looking into the lens and, like, turning his head and, like, showing his car.

不可能

No.

我向天发誓

I swear to god.

她还说：这应该是偷拍，贱人

And she's like, this is supposed to be candid, bitch.

是啊。

Yeah.

她当时说，天哪。

She was like, oh my god.

天哪。

Oh my god.

好吧。

Okay.

天啊。

Oh my god.

然后她放下相机，你去做别的事。

Like and then she put her camera down, you do something else.

她说，好吧。

She's like, okay.

行吧。

Alright.

我就说，是你啊。

And I'm like It's you.

这是什么情况？

What is happening?

是我。

It's me.

就像我和扎克一样。

It's like me and Zach.

这是个糟糕的组合。

It's a horrible combination.

不。

No.

现实中的他是扎克，但在演艺圈里，他就是那台摄像机。

He's Zach in real life, and then in show business, he's the camera.

你也是这样的。

You're like that too.

我猜是吧。

I guess.

但是，他就连基本的客套都没有。

But, like, he is he's no pleasantries.

你懂我意思吗？

Like, you know what I mean?

这太奇怪了。

It's so weird.

那太好笑了。

That's so funny.

我这周的糟心事就是这个。

My bad week is this.

这是Instagram上千禧一代女性中流行的趋势。

It's a trend going on on Instagram of with millennial women.

我讨厌...你懂的

I hate to I hate to you know?

不是我们。

Not us.

我讨厌而且叫我们

I hate to And call us

这可能是Z世代在做的，但我没有关注他们中的任何一个。

it's really maybe Gen Z is doing it, but I don't follow any of them.

我不这么认为。

I don't think.

但最近，我注意到一些我关注的微网红在做类似的事情，比如架起相机或手机，想象一下，像是靠在躺椅之类的东西上。

But lately, I've been noticing these, like, micro influencers that I follow doing things like setting up their camera, their phone, like, I imagine against, like, a lounge chair or something Mhmm.

然后和家人一起跳进泳池，假装被镜头捕捉到。

And then getting into the pool with their family and playing as if they're being caught on camera.

对吧？

Right?

所以他们就像在泳池里和丈夫打闹。

So they're, like, wrestling with their husband in the pool and Yeah.

在水里亲了一下，然后把孩子举起来。

Dealing a smooch and then lifting the kid up in the water.

这是一种非常奇怪的现象，我关注的很多人都在这样做，他们试图表现得像是被人偶然捕捉到了自然可爱的瞬间，但实际上他们自己架好了手机，假装没注意到摄像头。

And it's a very weird phenomenon, and it's been happening in a lot of these these people that I follow, where they're trying to make it seem like somebody just caught them having a normal, adorable moment, but really they've been propping their own phones up unaware of the camera.

是啊。

Yeah.

这看起来像是什么？像是门铃摄像头拍的吗？

What is this supposed to look like it's, like, the Ring cam or something?

不是。

No.

但这只是网红们一直在做的事，就像是...

But it's just it's just what influencers have always done where it's like Like,

就像是我在拍穿搭视频。

it's me filming an outfit.

不是。

No.

不是。

No.

他们没有。

They're not.

你在告诉我们，你并没有

You're you're telling us You're not

对着镜头。

going to camera.

他们基本上就是把手机架好，然后跳进泳池，表现得好像周围没人一样。

They're like they basically are setting their phone up, and then they're going in the pool and just, like, acting like nothing nobody's there.

哦。

Oh.

但为了得到这种看起来像是...这就是我说的，我觉得网红就是干这个的。

But to get, like, this footage that looks like it's But that's what I mean, I feel like influencer that's what influencers do.

比如，他们会处理

Like, they'll deal with

她们的男朋友在那里架好相机，然后你就和男朋友在厨房里。

their boyfriend where they, set it up, and then you're in the kitchen with your boyfriend.

是啊。

Yeah.

我关注的一个Instagram账号上就有类似野餐的场景。

There was, like, a picnic happening on one Instagram thing that I follow.

就是那种情侣野餐，他们真的只是架了台相机在后面，捕捉野餐的瞬间。

Like, a boyfriend girlfriend picnic, And they literally just set up a camera behind them and caught like the moments of the picnic.

我觉得这太奇怪了。

And I'm just like so weirded out by this.

没错。

Yeah.

这就像你正在哭的时候，他们却说'让我掏出手机拍下来'。

It's also just like when you're crying and they're like, let me pull my phone out.

对啊。

Yeah.

是啊。

Yeah.

我喜欢在电话里哭。

I love to cry on the phone.

对啊。

Yeah.

就是感觉太奇怪了。

It's just it's so it's strange.

我特别想找到那个特定的视频。

I really wanna find the one in particular.

那场景正好是在泳池里。

It was specifically in a pool.

而且周围还有其他人时，更让我觉得别扭，因为就像他们在看着你假装...

And other people also, when other people are around, it makes me feel weird because I'm like, they're just watching you pretend to like

这简直是在自导自演真人秀。

It's making your own reality show.

就是这种感觉。

That's what it feels like.

是啊。

Yeah.

好吧。

So Okay.

那么，说到这个

Well, on that note

这很奇怪。

It's weird.

抱歉，千禧一代的女性们。

Sorry, millennial women.

就像千禧一代的停顿。

It's like the millennial pause.

你无法拥有一切，这是Stasi的新书里写的。

You can't have it all, which is Stasi's new book.

她将在广告后回来讨论。

She's here after the break to discuss.

现在回到女士帮派。

Now back to the lady gang.

今天的嘉宾是位讲真话的偶像。

Our guest today is a truth telling icon.

事实上，当你用谷歌搜索她的名字并加上女士帮派时，谷歌给我们的第一个美味片段是Stasi在女士帮派电视节目中讲述她的尴尬故事。

In fact, when you Google her name and add lady gang, the first delicious bite that Google gives us is Stasi tells her shart horror story from an episode of Lady Gang TV.

我相信她今天和我们这些优雅的婊子们重聚一定很兴奋。

And I'm sure she's so excited back with us classy bitches today.

曾经想偷走我的艾美奖，现在你可以拿走了因为我有三个。

Once tried to steal my Emmy, and now you can have it because I have three.

她是我们播客节目《生活》的绝对元老。

And she's an absolute OG of our podcast, Life.

她几乎是十年前第七位出现在《女士帮派》节目中的嘉宾。

Well, she was the seventh seventh person ever to appear on Lady Gang almost a decade ago.

但这位HBIC（首席大婊姐）的生活已发生翻天覆地的变化

But life has drastically changed for the HBIC.

她已从真人秀转型，不仅称霸《纽约时报》畅销书榜单，还持续制作热门播客

She's moved on from reality TV to dominate the New York Times bestseller list and continues her chart topping podcast.

她刚出了一本超棒的新书

She's got a brand new book that is fantastic.

各位，你们不可能什么都要

You guys, you can't have it all.

这本书今天刚上市

It is out today.

全书围绕重新思考女强人生活、释放压力，以及她成为两个孩子的母亲后学到的经验教训

It's all about rethinking the girl boss life, taking the pressure off, and lessons she's learned since becoming a mom of two.

欢迎回到我们的播客，OG女王

Welcome back to the podcast, our OG queen.

感谢你这么多想法

Thank you so many thoughts.

这是谁写的？

Who wrote that?

我写的。

Me.

那太棒了。

That was great.

说实话，那看起来花了很多时间。

That's that that honestly, that seemed like it took a lot of time.

确实如此。

It did.

谢谢。

Thank you.

第七位嘉宾。

Seventh guest.

我的两个孩子都出生在七号，所以，随便啦。

My kids are both born on the seventh, so that, like, whatever.

我有七个。

I have seven.

对我来说，这真的很有意义。

To me, that just, like, really means something.

从图表开始很酷。

Cool to begin with the charting.

是啊。

Yeah.

你突然就出现了。

You just popped right up.

我得把你拉下来，因为我知道你会穿香奈儿平底鞋来，结果你确实穿了。

I needed to bring you down because I knew you were gonna show up in a Chanel flat, which you did.

那些华丽的戒指和那场奢华的婚礼，一点都没让人失望。

No disappointment there with, like, the fancy rings, and you had that glamorous wedding.

你正在写第三本书。

You're on your third book.

你的前两本书都登上了《纽约时报》畅销榜，不像哦，第二本确实上了。

Both of your books first two hit the New York Times bestseller list, unlike Oh, The second one did.

第二次，彻底失败。

Second time, a bomb.

所以你知道，我得先打压你，再重新捧起你。

And so, you know, I need to bring you down before I build you back up.

你懂我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

我

I

听到了。

hear you.

我听到了。

I hear you.

不。

No.

我很感激。

I appreciate it.

你知道的，我一直保持谦逊。

You know, I stay humble.

是啊。

Yeah.

我需要继续保持。

I need to stay yeah.

你需要保持谦逊，因为你很神奇。

You need to stay humble because you it's you're magical.

你知道吗？

You know what?

不。

No.

那个。

That.

我不需要保持谦逊。

I don't need to stay humble.

别保持谦逊了。

Don't stay humble.

你知道吗，有太多时候我不得不保持谦逊。

You know, there have been too many times where I've had to be humble.

是啊。

Yeah.

不。

No.

我觉得你应该非常兴奋才对。

I think you should be so excited.

那么，好吧，回到关于妈妈的话题。

So, okay, back to the mom talk.

是的。

Yes.

抱歉。

Sorry.

我们，就像这样，我知道这对非妈妈来说真的很无聊。

We're, like, so this I know it's so mind numbing as a non mom.

我打算打破这个饮食计划，因为我知道我会和她为此争论。

I'm just gonna crack this diet because I know I get it with her about this.

子宫在这里，舞台右侧。

Uterus over here stage right.

就像，我也想让所有妈妈知道，我也觉得不谈我现在所处的育儿阶段很无聊。

Like, I want also, I want all the moms to know as well that, like, I also find it mind numbing to not be talking about the exact era of my momming that I'm in right now too.

就像，我不想和任何人谈论他们的新生儿。

Like, I don't wanna talk to anybody about their newborns.

是啊。

Yeah.

不。

No.

我宁愿聊聊詹妮弗·洛佩兹。

I'd rather talk about JLo.

没错。

Right.

不过如果是聊我现在纠结的问题，比如我该要一个孩子吗？

So but then if it's, like, talking about, like, me right now wrestling with, like, do I have one kid?

还是该要两个孩子？

Do I have two kids?

这个话题我能滔滔不绝聊到口干舌燥。

That's something that I could literally talk about till I'm blue in the face.

说来自私，但我需要收集信息，正在向所有妈妈们取经。

Selfishly, I need to have information, and I'm collecting information from all the moms.

史黛西，你怎么看？

Stasi, what do you think?

因为我刚认识福特不久。

Because I just had met Ford.

我花了一年时间他才两岁？

It takes me a year to he's two?

他两岁零十二个月大。

He's two and 12.

我第一次见到他，这太让人难过了。

I met him for the first time, which is so sad.

等等，那里有个奥斯汀。

Wait, that's There's an Austin.

我现在住在奥斯汀。

I live in Austin now.

哦，我不知道这事。

Oh, I didn't know that.

好的。

Okay.

当我们都做出那些重大人生改变时，她做了很多改变。

When we all made those big life changes, she made a lot of changes.

所以我之前没见过他，但当我看到他们在一起时，我简直回头一想就觉得，千万别再搞砸另一个孩子的事。

So I hadn't met him, but then when I saw them together, I literally looked back and I was like, Do not fuck this up with another kid.

我以为你会说相反的话。

I thought you gonna say the opposite.

他是完美的，他们非常幸福，有四只手，两个大人一个孩子，这很合理，但你在说两个。

He is perfect, and they're so happy, and there's four hands, two bay one baby, it just makes sense, but then you're saying Two.

我真的能理解双方的立场。

You I really see both sides of it.

所以从我这里你得不到任何明确答案。

So you're gonna get zero clarity from me.

我知道。

I know.

但这没关系。

But that's okay.

如果有五亿美金砸到我头上，我会生更多孩子。

I have way more I'd have more children if I had half $1,000,000,000 land in my lap.

如果我能一直有人帮忙，还能随时旅行，想和丈夫做什么就能做什么。

If I could have help all the time, and I could travel, I could go do things with my husband whenever I wanted to.

比如牵他的手？

Like Hold his hand?

对。

Yeah.

真的。

Literally.

就像，他想牵我的手时。

Like, what's he wants to hold my hand.

我就会说，别碰我。

I'm like, don't touch me.

我已经被摸够了。

I'm touched out.

真的摸够了。

I'm touched out.

是啊。

Yeah.

所以，比如说，如果我拥有巨额财富，我会一直生孩子。

So, like, if I had a huge amount of wealth, I would keep having babies.

但这不是我们现在生活的世界。

But that's not the world we live in right now.

有时候我们确实能得到帮助，我们确实请了保姆。

And there are times when we do have help, we do have a nanny.

对。

Yeah.

太爱她了，索尼娅。

Obsessed, Sonya.

她是我们遇到过最棒的事，能有她真是太幸运了。

She's the best thing ever happened to us, and so lucky to have her.

她要是走了我会难过死的。

Would die if she left.

有时候她和梅瑟在一起，我们就能带哈特福德出门。

There are times when she's with Messer, and we get to take Hartford out places.

这时我就会想，哇，我们真的可以环游世界。

And I think to myself, wow, we could literally be traveling the world.

我们可以做那么多事情。

We could be doing so many things.

但当我们回到家，看到哈特福德和梅瑟互动玩耍、依偎在一起，他们彼此都那么依恋对方。

But then we go back home, and I see Hartford and Messer interact and play with each other and cuddle each other, and they're so obsessed with each other.

我就想，再等等。

And I'm like, just wait.

再过几年，他们两个都能和我们一起过那样的生活。

In a few years, both of them will be able to be living that life with us.

你说得对。

You're right.

你说得对。

You're right.

因为我也掉进了同样的陷阱。

Because I fall into the trap as well.

倒不是说这是个陷阱，但我确实沉迷于这种想法——我和扎克其实不需要过多调整我们的生活方式。

Not that it's a trap, but I definitely get obsessed with the idea of Zach and I have not had to adjust our lifestyles that much.

对吧。

Right.

你懂吗？

You know?

比如，请我父母或保姆照看一个孩子，然后我和扎克去欧洲或其他地方会更容易些。

It's, like, easier to ask my parents or the nanny to watch one kid and us go to Europe or whatever the thing is.

这真是奢侈的烦恼。

It's such champagne problems.

我也经常陷入这种思绪。

And I get caught up.

我总是会想，我对现在的生活很满意，愿意做出这样的牺牲。

I always catch on the, like, I just life has not like, I'm happy with, like, this amount of sacrifice I've made.

嗯

Mhmm.

第二个孩子

Does the second one

是啊

Yeah.

更糟

It's worse.

更糟

It's worse.

对我来说从零到一

It's it was way harder for me to go from No.

我反而觉得从一到二比从零到一更难

I appreciate two than from zero to one.

但我觉得部分原因是我在疫情期间生的哈特福德，那时候我只需要当个妈妈

But I also think I I had my babe Hartford in COVID, so, like, all I had to do Was be a mom.

就是在家当妈妈。

Was be a mom at home.

所以并不算太难。

So it wasn't that hard.

没错。

Right.

这让我有事可做，而不只是又刷一部剧。

It gave me something to do instead of just, like, what like, binge watch another show again.

所以，我我有了生活的目标。

So, like, I I had purpose.

但没有。

But no.

第二个阶段，就像如果你和你丈夫现在不交流了，那真的会很困难，因为总有一个人需要照顾另一个，但这只是暂时的阶段。

Two, it's like, you and your husband, if you're not talking now, then, like, you're really because one of you has to always be on the other one, but that's just a season.

这只是暂时的阶段。

That's just a season.

然后有些时候，比如我和博终于带他们俩去了环球影城，就在几周前，我当时就觉得这是最神奇的一天。

And then there are times when Beau and I, like we finally took them both to Universal Studios, like, a few weeks ago, and I'm like, this is the most magical day.

就像，我们做到了。

Like, we did it.

我们已经走出了那个阶段，进入了

We're out of, like, that one season, and we're in

一个新的阶段。

a new one.

你在那些家庭时刻中找到平静了吗？比如现在福特开始能自己玩了。

Do you find peace in, like, those family moments where, like, now Ford's, like, starting to play on his own.

他已经相当独立了，所以扎克和我晚上可以坐在那里一起喝杯酒。

He's, like, really kinda self sufficient, and and so Zach and I can sit there and, like, have a glass of wine at night together.

你觉得有了两个孩子后还能有这样的时光吗？

Do you get that, like, again with two?

是啊。

Yeah.

确实如此。

You do.

总会有这样的时刻。

There are always these moments.

时刻总是存在的。

There are always moments.

你会找到自己的节奏。

You figure out your rhythm.

你会形成自己的日常规律。

You figure out your routine.

我是个非常按计划行事、注重规律的母亲。

I'm a very scheduled, routine oriented mother.

我是个强迫症患者。

I'm a psychopath.

我把所有事情都记在应用里，还要求保姆也记录进去。

I put everything in an app, and I make our nanny put in it.

我会记录所有细节，这样我就能准确知道他什么时候喝奶、什么时候吃饭、什么时候排便、什么时候小睡。

I make bows so that I know exactly when he's having his bottle, when he's eaten, when he's pooped, when he's napped.

这样，我就不需要问任何人任何问题。

Like, I don't have to ask anyone any questions.

正因如此，我知道他的作息规律后，我就能做好计划。

And so because I know what his schedule and routine is gonna be like, I can then plan.

我确实可以。

I could yeah.

然后我就可以说，今晚晚些时候我们可以一起看点东西。

And I can be like, later on tonight, we can watch something together.

是的。

Yeah.

因为我知道他这个时间会睡觉。

Because I know he's gonna go to sleep at this time.

好的。

Okay.

好的。

Alright.

是啊。

Yeah.

你总会想办法熬过去的。

You just figure it out and you survive.

但我从没听谁说过，我后悔要孩子。

But I've never heard anyone be like, I regret my kid.

我不知道。

I don't know.

嗯，但人们永远不会那么说。

Well But people would never say that.

你有朋友要孩子了吗？

Have people who have friends having kids at all.

我们Facebook群里的人都说，这种话我从不会对别人讲，但我...

The people in our Facebook group are like, I would never say this to anyone else, but, like, I

而且不喜欢当妈妈的感觉。

And don't enjoy being a mom.

我不需要成为母亲。

I didn't need to be a mom.

这是《女性秘密》书里写的。

That's in the Lady Secrets book.

如果你...如果有人曾经读过它

If you if anyone had ever read it

我已经知道自己很享受当妈妈。

I already know that I love being a mom.

没错。

Right.

好吧。

Okay.

所以就像是

So it's like

就是这样。

There you go.

是啊。

Yeah.

我认为没有哪个真心想当妈妈的人会后悔要孩子。

I don't think anyone has ever regretted their kid who who wanted to be a mom.

没错。

Right.

对。

Right.

是的。

Yes.

这非常公平合理。

That's very fair and valid.

并不是每个人都想当妈妈。

I not everyone wants to be a mom.

是的。

Yeah.

没错。

Right.

有些人起初以为自己想要孩子，但后来他们

And some people think they want to, and then they have

第一次被社会压力所迫，他们觉得，哦，我在地球上的使命就是成为母亲，而我这么做是因为我全家都说，我已经结婚了。

their first pressured by society, and they feel like, oh, my purpose on Earth is to be a mom, and I did it because my whole family was like, I'm married.

你们打算什么时候要孩子？

When are gonna have a kid?

这是你应该做的事。

It's what you're supposed to do.

然后我意识到这可能不是我的使命。

And then I realized that maybe this isn't the calling for me.

每当有人问我，我该要个孩子吗？

Whenever anyone asks me, should I have a kid?

就是说，如果你还没孩子，我会告诉你，你最好他妈的真想要孩子。

Like, without already having one, I'm like, you better really fucking want that.

你真的必须非常想要孩子，因为你整个人生都不再属于你自己了。

I just You better really want it because your whole life is not your own anymore.

你没法睡懒觉。

You can't sleep in.

你不能想做什么就做什么。

You can't do whatever you wanna do.

你不能随时约闺蜜吃早午餐，懂我意思吗？不行。

You can't go meet the girlies for brunch, like, you know No.

半小时内就要搞定。

In a half an hour.

是的，你没法提前安排这些事。

Yes, you can't do it ahead of time.

当然。

Of course.

但说真的，你必须真心想要这个孩子。

But, like, it's you really have to want your kid.

必须的。

You do.

是啊。

Yeah.

我想聊聊这本书。

I wanna talk about the book.

我有很多感触，因为它深深触动了我的灵魂。

I have so much, because this is very speaking to my soul.

但首先，我们要满足听众的需求，得先回到之前的话题。

But first, I wanna give the people what they want, and we need to go back.

作为Lady Gang的元老，我必须聊聊你的婚礼和那件婚纱。

Because you are an OG of Lady Gang, I need to talk about the wedding and this wedding dress.

好的。

Okay.

我们能稍微回顾一下吗？

Can we just go back for a second?

因为这本书叫《你无法拥有一切》，但你在婚礼上确实拥有了一切。

Because the book is You Can't Have It All, but you had it all at the wedding.

你在书里其实多次提到婚礼，讲述它如何出现在你人生的这个阶段。

And you talk, actually, about the wedding in the book quite a bit, about how it was at this time in your life.

不得不收敛锋芒，你还详细讨论了整个情况。

Had to pull back, and you talk about this whole thing.

但我必须告诉你，在我见过的所有名人婚礼中，你的婚礼堪称典范。

But I have to tell you that of all the celebrities I've ever seen a wedding, you are the blueprint.

我会把你的婚纱照片发给那些说'我不知道想要什么款式'的年轻女孩们。

I send your wedding dress to the young girls that are like, I don't know what I want for a dress.

我前几天刚把照片发给托妮娅·拉德，跟她说'就选这样的婚纱'。

I literally just sent it to Tonya Rad, and I was like, get a dress like this.

多么梦幻啊。

What a fantasy.

你简直就是一场梦幻。

You were What a fantasy.

太惊艳了。

So fabulous.

简直是最盛大、最令人惊叹的，就像，仅次于，你是世上最棒的妈妈。

One of the biggest, most amazing like, right under, like, you're the best mom that ever exists.

婚纱

Wedding dress

披肩款

at shawl.

那我的婚礼呢？

And my wedding?

天啊。

Oh my god.

因为它本该是如此的盛大。

Because it it was supposed to be so much Yes.