只有正能量？乐观与吸引法则背后的科学

我是《美国生活》的艾拉·格拉斯。

This is Ira Glass of This American Life.

你了解我们的节目吗？

Do you know our show?

好的。

Okay.

不过不管怎样，我都来跟你说说这个节目。

Well, either way, I'm gonna tell you about it.

我们创作故事

We make stories

希望能把你深深吸引住

that hopefully pull you in

故事开头会用趣味桥段、细腻情绪以及陷入意外处境的角色来抓住你的目光，之后你就会迫不及待想知道后续发展，根本停不下来。

at the beginning with funny moments and feelings and people in surprising situations, and then you just wanna find out what is gonna happen and cannot stop listening.

没错。

That's right.

我说的是那种能让你听得连约会都错过的故事。

I'm talking about stories that make you miss appointments.

这里是《美国生活》，你可以在任意播客平台收听我们的节目。

This is American Life, wherever you get your podcasts.

您正在收听的是美国国家公共广播电台的《生活工具箱》节目。

You're listening to Life Kit from NPR.

嗨。

Hey.

我是玛丽埃尔。

It's Marielle.

你有没有遇到过这种情况：当你正深陷一段难熬到不可思议的人生困境里时，有人跑来跟你说“积极一点就好”，这话让你恨不得一拳挥到他脸上？

You ever have somebody say to you, just be positive when you're right in the middle of an impossibly hard life moment and it made you wanna just punch them in the face?

那我可不想挨拳头。

Well, I'm not trying to get punched.

所以今天，我们要聊的内容和 positivity（积极心态）无关。

So today, we are not talking about positivity.

我们要聊的是乐观主义。

We're talking about optimism.

在我思考乐观主义时，脑海里立刻浮现出两个词：韧性和好奇心。

The two words that really come clear to mind when I'm thinking of optimism is resiliency and curiosity.

迪皮卡·乔普拉是一名行为科学家，拥有临床健康心理学博士学位，她的新书名为《真正乐观主义的力量》。

Deepika Chopra is a behavioral scientist with a doctorate in clinical health psychology and her new book is called The Power of Real Optimism.

她指出，如今人们常常把乐观主义和有毒的积极心态画上等号，还说当下这个时代里的乐观主义者要么是太天真，要么就是在逃避现实。

Now she says people tend to equate optimism with toxic positivity and they say an optimist in today's world must either be naive or ignoring reality.

但当迪皮卡提到乐观的人时，她指的是那些能清醒认知到挫折和阻碍的人。

But when Deepika talks about optimistic people, she means the ones who are aware of setbacks and roadblocks.

但他们会将这些难题视作暂时的困境，是自己能够克服的阻碍——哪怕他们尚不清楚具体要怎么做、要到什么时候才能熬过去，但他们笃定自己能行，这份底气来源于他们过往经历历练出的韧性。

But they see these things as temporary and something that they can overcome even if they don't know how or when but they know they can because it's based on their own personal historical resiliency.

这里有个小提示。

So quick tip.

当你在艰难时期想要找寻一丝乐观的信念时，请记住：你一定能撑过这次的难关，因为你已经闯过了迄今为止人生里所有最煎熬的日子。

When you're looking for a shred of optimism in a tough time, remember you can make it through this because you've made it through every single one of your hardest days to date.

几年前，迪皮卡的生活发生天翻地覆的变化时，正是靠着这个信念撑了下来。

That's a fact that Deepika clung to when her world turned upside down a few years ago.

我的二儿子当时才两岁半，被诊断出一种极具毁灭性的疾病，那段时间是我人生中最黑暗的日子。

My middle son, who at the time was two and a half, got handed this very earth shattering medical diagnosis and it was the darkest time of my life.

她的儿子接受了一年半的治疗。

Her son was in treatment for a year and a half.

我记得有好几个月，我都躲在办公室的桌子底下哭，嘴里念叨着我撑不下去了。

I mean, were many months where I hid underneath my office desk and cried and said, I cannot do this.

就比如说，我觉得我撑不下去了。

Like, I can't do this.

但她其实撑得住，也确实挺过来了。

But she could, and she did.

时间慢慢过去，

Time passed.

她的儿子完成了治疗。

Her son finished treatment.

由于这段经历，迪皮卡表示，她对自己和家人所能承受的能力有了新的认识。

And because of that experience, Deepika says, she has a new understanding of just how much she and her family are capable of.

这并不是人们所说的积极经历，但它确实强化了她的乐观态度。

It wasn't what you call a positive experience, but it did reinforce her optimism.

我可能完全不知道未来会怎样，但我知道，我能够挺过那些艰难时刻。

I may not know what the future holds at all, but I know that I can I will get through those hard things?

它们可能会再次像这次一样击垮我，但我一定会重新站起来。

They may break me again like this did, but I will put myself back together.

我真的认为，韧性是真正乐观的重要组成部分。

I really think that resiliency is a

真正乐观的重要组成部分。

really big part of real optimism.

在本期《生活工具箱》节目中，我们探讨《真正的乐观》。

On this episode of Life Kit, Real Optimism.

《生活工具箱》记者安迪·泰格尔与迪皮卡对话，探讨乐观的神经科学、可视化与积极肯定的隐秘力量，以及如何每天训练大脑变得更乐观。

Life Kit reporter Andy Tegel talks to Deepika about neuroscience of optimism, the secret power of visualizations and affirmations, and how to train your brain to be more optimistic on a daily basis.

这里是《美国生活》的艾拉·格拉斯。

This is Ira Glass talks of This American Life.

你听说过我们的节目吗？

Do you know our show?

好的。

Okay.

行吧，不管你知不知道，我都来介绍一下它。

Well, either way, I'm gonna tell you about it.

我们制作的节目

We make stories

希望能一开始就抓住你的注意力

that hopefully pull you in

开头会有有趣的桥段、细腻的情绪，还有处在意外状况里的人物，接着你就会迫切想知道后续发展，根本停不下来。

at the beginning with funny moments and feelings and people in surprising situations, and then you just wanna find out what is gonna happen and cannot stop listening.

没错。

That's right.

我谈的是那种会让你错过约会的故事。

I'm talking about stories that make you miss appointments.

这是《美国生活》，无论你在哪儿听播客。

This is American Life, wherever you get your podcasts.

任何人都能成为乐观主义者吗？

Can anyone be an optimist?

我做了你书里的那个测试，结果落在了高分端。

I took the quiz in your book, and I landed on the high end.

你知道，这让我觉得挺真实的。

You know, it felt true to me.

也就是说，谁是那种 mostly optimistic 的人。

Like, who's mostly optimistic.

然后我想到了一些我认识的人，他们似乎天生更容易看到杯子半空的一面。

And then I'm thinking of people I've known who seem, you know, naturally more inclined to see the glass half empty.

这是天生的吗？

Is that natural?

也就是说，我们的乐观或悲观倾向是天生就注定的吗？

You know, are we innately one way or the other?

目前学界已经有不少相关研究，结论也存在一些差异。

So there's been a lot of research on this, and there's been a little bit of varying.

但我见过和遗传因素、可遗传性相关的研究里，最高的占比也只有25%。

But the most that I've ever seen, related to a genetic component, a heritability aspect is 25%.

所以我们是有能力去学会变得乐观的。

So we have the ability to learn it.

所以对我来说，这是非常乐观的好消息。

And so that to me is very optimistic and great news.

所以我确实认为乐观是一种肌肉，我们需要锻炼它。

And so I I do believe that optimism is a muscle, and we just have to work it out.

因此我相信每个人都可以提升自己的乐观指数。

And so I believe that everyone can raise their optimism factor.

而且，从进化的角度来看，在很久以前，我们其实天生更容易倾向于悲观。

And, you know, way back when, from an evolutionary standpoint, we are more predisposed to be pessimistic.

我们的祖先总会设想最坏的情况。

Our ancestors always imagined the worst case scenario.

他们会为这种情况做准备，正因如此才得以存活，并把这种特质遗传了下去。

They planned for that, and they survived, and they passed that trait on.

但我们都明白，在当今世界，要想生存和发展，再也不需要长期、持续地去设想最坏的情况了。

But we know that in our modern world, to survive and to thrive is no longer equated to chronically and constantly imagining worst case scenarios.

所以我们必须主动锻炼这块“肌肉”，训练自己真正变得更乐观。因为乐观能带来太多益处了，这不仅仅体现在情绪层面，甚至对身体健康也有好处。如今已有研究证实，乐观为何会对人产生如此重大且积极的影响。

So we have to actively work this muscle out and train ourselves to be, you know, more optimistic in a real way because there are so many benefits, not just from an emotional standpoint of view, but even a physical standpoint of view that now we have, you know, via research on why optimism is so impactful and effective for you.

如今很多人都过得很难，背后是各种各样的原因。

Times are hard for a lot of people right now for a lot of different reasons.

是啊。

Yes.

而且我觉得，提到你写的这本书、你在做的这些事，总会有一部分人可能会说：现在世界局势这样，到处都是不确定性，还有各种各样乱七八糟的问题，现在根本不是该乐观的时候。

And I I imagine with with this book, with what you do, there's always a certain percent of the population of people who might say, because of the climate, because of all the uncertainty in the world, because of fill in the blank, right now is not the time for optimism.

你会怎么回应这些人呢？

What's your response to those people?

我实际上恰恰有相反的感觉。

I actually feel quite the opposite.

现在正是我们社会和文化中真正乐观主义最重要的时刻。

Right now is literally and quite possibly the most important time in our society and culture for real optimism.

没有乐观主义，任何改变都无法实现。

No change can be made without optimism.

所以当人们对现状感到愤怒时，明确事情的真相非常重要。

So I feel like when people are angry about the way that things are, it's important to have clarity on what's going on.

我所谈论的很多内容，恰恰是麻木、回避、关掉新闻或所谓‘无知即幸福’的反面。

And a lot of what I talk about is the opposite of numbing out or shying away or turning off the news or, you know, ignorance is bliss.

我并不真的相信这些做法。

I don't I don't actually believe in those things.

当然，我相信界限的存在。

Of course, I believe in in boundaries.

但我相信，真正乐观主义及其工具，才是我们保持参与、持续关注、不断现身并深切关怀所需要的。

But I believe that the real work of Real Optimism and the tools of it is what we need to be able to stay engaged and to keep looking and to keep showing up and to keep deeply caring.

你懂的，我们的神经系统、大脑还有身体，其实生来就承受不了这些。

You know, our our nervous system and our brains and bodies were not actually meant to.

我们的身体机能从来不是为了承受这么多冲击而设计的。

They were not made to experience this much.

所以我们需要主动准备好应对的方法，这样才能始终坚持到场、保持投入。

And so we need tools proactively to arm ourself with so that we can keep, you know, showing up and staying engaged.

因为我们最不愿看到的，就是大家变得冷漠麻木，对一切都无动于衷。

Because what we don't want are people that are apathetic or that are just numbed out.

所以在我看来，如今有一件事是绝对必要的，那就是开展相关训练。

And so if there's one thing that I think is really necessary right now is to train.

我们现在迫切需要更多真正的乐观主义者。

We need so many more real optimists right now.

第一个收获就是，乐观是可以后天习得的。

Takeaway one, optimism can be learned.

而且我们当中很多人在生活的不同领域里，所能感受到的乐观程度其实各有不同，存在一个变化区间。

And often, many of us experience optimism across a spectrum in different parts of our lives.

举个例子，对你来说，在职场中保持乐观或许很容易，因为你在这个领域已经积累了丰富的经验。

For example, maybe it's easy for you to stay hopeful when it comes to your career because you've got a lot of experience in that arena.

可一提到感情生活，你就觉得事事不顺、一片灰暗。

But when it comes to your love life, you're all doom and gloom.

所以如果你想要寻求积极的改变，清醒务实的乐观会是帮你实现目标的有力工具，但这需要你进行一些心理建设。

So if you're seeking positive change, real clear eyed optimism can be a powerful tool to do that, but it's going to require some mental conditioning.

第二个要点：试着用可视化的方法转变你的信念。

Takeaway two: Try visualizing to shift your beliefs.

基于感官的可视化训练可以帮你把注意力导向理想的结果，拓宽你对可能性的认知边界。

Sensory based visualization can help direct your attention to desirable outcomes and expand your belief in what is possible.

大脑其实无法明确区分一件事是我们想象出来的、虚构的，还是真实发生的。

The brain does not necessarily know the difference between something that it is imagining or that is a fantasy and something that is real.

这是由我们大脑中的镜像神经元造成的。

And that is because of our mirror neurons.

所以一旦我们在脑海中具象化了某件事——如果我们还调动了全部感官来让这个具象化场景更有冲击力的话——大脑就会开始把这件事视为一个有可能实现的前景。

And so once we have visualized something, especially if we've used all of our senses, make that visualization even more powerful, the brain starts to see that as a possibility and something that can happen.

运动心理学里的情况也是一样的。

It's the same way in sports psychology.

里面会用到大量的心理彩排练习。

There's a lot of mental rehearsing.

很多时候，顶尖运动员显然不只是进行身体训练，他们同时也会做心理预演。

A lot of times, really elite athletes are not only obviously practicing physically, but they're also also mentally rehearsing.

视觉化训练能在许许多多不同的场景中发挥作用。

Visualization works for so many different things.

第一点，我认为从更普遍的层面来说，这是一个瓦解消极自我信念的绝佳方法。

Number one, I think on a more general level, it is an excellent way to dismantle negative self beliefs.

就拿我现在的情况举例，我有一个非常非常根深蒂固的自我设限信念，也是我亟待攻克的问题：我从不认为自己拥有强健的体魄，算不上是擅长运动的人。

So like for me right now, I have a really, really strong self limiting belief and something that I really need to work on is I do not see myself as a strong bodied, like athletic person.

我甚至觉得彻底动起来进行锻炼这件事对我来说难如登天。

I find it really hard to work out at all.

但我真的很希望自己能成为那种可以早上起来（或者选任意时间段）举铁、主动做些运动、让心率提上来的人。

And I really wanna be able to be someone that wakes up in the morning or at some point, like, lifts weights and does something active, gets my heart rate up.

而这对我的限制实在太大了，因为我给自己贴了标签，还会亲口说出那根本不是我会做的事。

And even that is so limiting for me because I label myself and say out loud that that is just not me.

迪皮卡说，要打破这种想法，她会在脑海中预演自己完成这套晨间流程的全过程，尽可能地细化场景，让自己完全沉浸在这个画面带来的感官体验里。

To disrupt that idea, Deepika says she would visualize herself going through that morning routine being as detailed as possible and immersing herself in the sensory experience of that image.

她当时穿的是什么？

What is she wearing?

那些哑铃有多重？握在手里是什么感觉？

How heavy are the weights and what do they feel like?

她耳机里放的是什么播放列表的歌？

What playlist is playing in her headphones?

我们对视觉想象早就总结出一个结论：越是能做到具体、贴合实际，效果就越好。

The more you can be specific and rooted in reality, we know this about visual imagery.

比如说，如果我预想自己会在家里的某个特定区域做这件事，那把这个地方的所有细节都在脑海里具象化，对我会更有帮助。这样等我真的去到那个地方、站在那儿的时候，我的大脑就会产生一种错乱感，会下意识觉得：等等，

Like, if there's a specific place in my house that I see myself doing this, it will serve me better to visualize all the components of that place in detail so that when I go there or I am, like, met there, it will trip up my brain again with, like, wait.

我好像来过这儿。

I've been here before.

我做过这件事。

I have done this.

迪皮卡给初学者的一个可视化练习小技巧：在淋浴时试试这个方法。

A pro visualization tip for beginners from Deepika, try this practice in the shower.

她说淋浴间是个不错的起点，因为人们通常有充足的心理时间和空间来闭上眼睛展开想象。

She says it's a good place to start because people often have the mental time and space to close their eyes and imagine.

还有另一个可选的地点吗？

Another potential option?

只要你有一小段空闲等待的时间。

Whenever you've got a brief waiting period.

比如说，你在杂货店排队结账、等公交到站，或是在接下来即将到来的短暂休息期间。

Say, when you're in line at the grocery store, waiting for your stop at the bus, or during this brief upcoming break.

等我们回归节目后，就会聊聊有科学依据支持的肯定法。

Then when we're back, we'll talk evidence based affirmations.

这里是《美国生活》的艾拉·格拉斯。

This is Ira Glass of This American Life.

你了解我们的节目吗？

Do you know our show?

好的。

Okay.

行，不管你清不清楚，我都给你介绍一下。

Well, either way, I'm gonna tell you about it.

我们制作的节目会在开篇就用趣事、真情实感和身处意外处境的人物抓住你的注意力，之后你就会迫切想要知道接下来会发生什么，根本舍不得停下来。

We make stories that hopefully pull you in at the beginning with funny moments and feelings and people in surprising situations, and then you just wanna find out what is gonna happen and cannot stop listening.

没错。

That's right.

我说的是那些会让你听得错过预约的故事。

I'm talking about stories that make you miss appointments.

这里是《美国生活》，你可以在任意播客平台收听我们的节目。

This is American Life, wherever you get your podcasts.

欢迎继续收听《生活指南》。

You're back listening to Life Kit.

你离开的这段时间里，对自己有过什么样的想象？

What did you imagine while you were away?

你有没有觉得自己变得更强大、更聪慧、更友善、更出彩了？

Were you stronger, smarter, kinder, cooler?

那我再给你介绍一个能帮你塑造这种心理图景的工具：肯定语。

Well, I've got another tool to help with that mental image, affirmations.

过去几十年里，这个词在自助领域随处可见，或许光是听到它，就能勾起你不少复杂的情绪。

Maybe simply hearing this term due to its seeming ubiquitousness in the self help space in the past few decades makes you feel feelings.

我完全能理解你。

I don't blame you.

但迪皮卡表示，重要的是要明白，当你有意识地进行这项练习时，它会带来不错的神经学益处。

But Deepika says it's important to know there are good neurological benefits to the practice when you're intentional about it.

第三个要点：语言的力量不容小觑。

Takeaway three, words matter.

对自己以及身边的人使用积极乐观的表述，能有效转变你的看待事物的视角。

Using optimistic language with yourself and those around you can help meaningfully shift your perspective.

而用更具自我关怀的表述重新梳理思绪，在其他领域也是一种常用方法，比如认知行为疗法，因为那些负面的固有信念往往会牢牢盘踞在脑海里。

And reframing your thoughts with more self compassionate language is a common practice in other avenues too, like cognitive behavioral therapy, for example, because those negative beliefs can get really sticky.

举一个我敢肯定你听过的例子：证实性偏差。

An example I'm sure you're familiar with, confirmation bias.

迪皮卡和我聊起了我们年幼的孩子，还有刚学步的小朋友会多快地给自己贴上或认可或否定的个人标签。

Deepika and I talked about our young kids and how quick toddlers can be to embrace or reject a personal attribute.

比如说“我不会打篮球”这种话。

Like, I can't play basketball.

我永远都投不进篮筐，这实在太难了。

I never make it in the hoop, or it's just too hard.

我这辈子都学不会系鞋带。

I'll never be able to learn to tie my shoes.

我们都是证据收集者。

We are evidence collectors.

我们的大脑就喜欢搜集各类证据。

Our brains love evidence.

大脑总是倾向于相信自己已经认定的事情。

The brain likes to believe what it already believes.

所以我们得意识到，不光是我们两岁大的孩子会这样——我们的大脑本身就是这么运作的。

So we have to remind and not just our our two year olds and and, like, this is just how our brains work.

我们可能会先对某件事形成一个主观判断，接着就会在生活中不断搜罗证据来印证这个判断，哪怕这个判断根本不是事情的全貌。

We can truly believe something and then go out in the world and seek out more evidence to make that true even if that is not the whole story.

所以我总跟大家聊起这个思路：嘿，接下来这一整天里，你不妨刻意去留意所有红色的物件。

And so it's this idea that I always tell people like, hey, why don't for the rest of the day, I want you to think about red cards.

如果你专门去留意这些负面想法，那就会像整座城市都被漆成红色一样，满眼都是它们。

If you're on the lookout for them, it's like the town's painted red.

对吧？

Right?

核心逻辑是这样的：你已经在想、已经相信的事情，你的大脑会主动搜寻更多相关证据来印证它是真的。

The larger point here being what you're already thinking, already believing, your brain will seek out more of to make it true.

这就是为什么谨慎对待自己的内心独白格外重要。

That's why it's really important to be careful with your internal messaging.

如果你内心存在某个对你毫无助益的信念，那我们就得想办法收集其他证据，一点点动摇这个错误的信念。

If there is a belief that you might have that is not serving you, then we need to work on, you know, other collection of evidence that slowly chip away at that.

这就要提到肯定语了。

Enter affirmations.

也就是你会反复对自己说的话，用来强化关于自己和他人的积极信念。

Phrases you repeat to yourself to reinforce positive beliefs about yourself and others.

但这些肯定语的效果并不是完全一致的。

But they're not all created equal.

要让

In order for

这些自我暗示产生任何作用，你首先得真正相信自己告诉自己的内容。

them to have any impact, you have to actually believe what you're telling yourself.

这就是为什么迪皮卡提出了十分制里的七分法则。

That's why Deepika has a seven out of 10 rule.

也就是从一到十分打分，你有多渴望这件事，以及你到底有多大程度相信它能在不久的将来发生在你身上？

As in, on a scale of one to 10, how much do you want this thing, and how much do you actually believe it can happen for you or to you in the near future?

如果这两个问题里有任何一个的答案低于7分，那就重新开始。

If the answer is less than a seven for either question, start again.

如果你自己都不信这件事，那做它就毫无意义。

If you don't believe the thing, there's no point to it.

它会

It can

其实不止是这样。

Well, not even that.

就算往好了说，这也顶多只是——

Like, not even you know, at best, it's just

毫无用处。

not useful.

往坏了说，它实际上还非常有害。

At worst, it's actually pretty detrimental.

举个例子，迪皮卡提到过一位客户，他极度渴望自己能拥有一段稳定的亲密关系。

For example, Deepika mentioned a client who desperately wanted a serious relationship in his life.

但当她问他是什么让他值得被爱时，他几乎觉得‘自己值得被爱’这个想法可笑至极。

But when she asked him what made him lovable, the idea that he could be lovable was almost laughable to him.

因此，在这种情况下，每天重复‘我是某人的梦想成真’或‘我值得被爱和关怀’这样的积极肯定，对他而言完全脱离现实，毫无帮助。

So in that case, a daily affirmation of I am someone's dream come true or even I am worthy of love and affection was just too far outside of his reality to be helpful.

这在他看来，顶多只有一分或两分的可信度。

It was like a one or a two out of 10.

这样的期望根本不足以让这件事发生。

That is not enough of an expectation that this is gonna happen.

因此，我们的工作就是弥合这个差距。

And so the work for us is in closing that gap.

而我们实现这一点的方式，并不是靠一个全面的、360度的积极肯定。

And how we do that is not by a three sixty turnaround blanket affirmation.

我们的方式是，你持有这样的信念：我不爱自己。

How we do that is, you know, you hold this belief that I don't I don't love myself.

你知道，我不相信自己值得被爱。

You know, I don't believe that in myself.

所以，反过来做并不是我们要做的。

So the flip is not what we do.

更像是，嘿。

It's more like, hey.

你能告诉我一件你自己喜欢自己的事情吗？

Can you give me one thing one thing that you like about yourself?

这种重新框架的方式对那些日常的小烦恼也很有帮助，当这些事发生时，你可能会觉得它们总是只发生在你身上。

This kind of reframing can also be helpful for those little day to day annoyances that when they happen, can feel like they're only ever happening to you.

就像有人突然插到你前面，今天在去工作室的路上就发生了。

It's like when someone cuts you off and like, today, it happened in getting to the studio.

我刚好有足够的时间，眼看就要赶上了。

I had just the right amount of time, and I was just gonna make it.

但你知道，我转错弯了。

But, you know, I made the wrong turn.

我立刻听到自己心里想：当然了，每次我需要赶路的时候，总会做错决定。

And immediately, I heard myself, like, of course, it's always the times that I need to get somewhere that I make the wrong decision.

你就会觉得，事情永远都会是这个样子，也就是一旦出了岔子，就会下意识觉得这种倒霉事会一直持续下去。

You know, this is always gonna be this way or, you know, this this idea of permanence when something goes wrong.

但换个角度想的话，就是当坏事发生时，其实从来都不只是你一个人会遇上。

Whereas the flip is sort of when things go wrong, it's not always just you.

很多情况都能换个思路：比如这次我出门卡着点时间来，但下一次我就能记在脑子里，得提前多留点时间应对这类突发状况。

There's a lot of circumstances like, well, I know I left with just enough time, but next time maybe I had the thought in my head, like, I should leave a little extra time for these type of things.

想想你上次踢到脚趾、坐错火车，或是拧不开果酱罐的时候吧。

Think about the last time you stubbed your toe or got on the wrong train or couldn't open a jar of jam.

你当时是不是只看到了那间糟糕狭小的公寓？

Did you see a terrible cramped apartment?

认定自己毫无希望，或是诅咒上天刻意针对你？

Declare yourself hopeless or curse the universe for having it out for you?

说不定下一次，你就能发现重新布置家具、发挥创意的机会，享受这场意外的小插曲，或是感恩自己有一位强壮又友善的邻居。

Maybe next time, you could see an opportunity to rearrange the furniture and get creative, enjoy the unexpected adventure, or be grateful for that strong friendly neighbor next door.

我们最后一个帮你转变心态、变得更乐观的方法，就是显化法则。

Our final offering to help shift into a more optimistic mindset, manifestation.

我现在就让迪皮卡直接来解答你的疑问。

I'll go ahead and let Deepika address your concerns right up front.

我并不认同那种光想着中彩票，然后就坐等好运从天而降的观点。

I am not in the camp that believes in just wanting to win the lottery and then expecting it to fall into your lap.

我是这么觉得的，而且我觉得现在大多数人都能意识到

I think there is just like and I think most people now get to the point where

明白这一点。

Understand that.

他们理解这一点。

They understand that.

不过目前还是有很多人在大力鼓吹这类说法。

But there is still a lot of sort of the touting of that.

她提到，人们对显化存在一个普遍的误解，就是以为这是一种被动的做法。

The common misconception about manifestation, she says, is that it's a passive practice.

人们会觉得，只要单凭意志力驱使宇宙为自己提供一切、散发出一些正能量，然后坐等好运降临就行了。

People assume you can just will the universe to provide, radiate some positive energy, and then wait for the good times to roll in.

而迪皮卡的这套方法，她称之为实证显化，是靠行动支撑的乐观主义。

Deepika's practice, on the other hand, what she calls evidence based manifestation, is optimism backed up by action.

为了阐明这一点，她和我讲了她父亲的故事：当年她父亲从印度的一个小镇来到美国时，口袋里只有8美元。

To illustrate her point, she told me about her dad who came to The US with $8 in his pocket from a small town in India.

如今，他是一名事业有成的工程师兼企业家。

Today, he's a successful engineer and businessman.

但在拥有这些身份、还没移民美国的时候

But before he had those titles and before he immigrated

他会把汽车还有其他各式各样的东西剪下来，做成一本剪贴簿，他不只是空想，而是坚信这些东西都会成为自己生活的一部分。

He would cut out, like, cars and various different things and keep a scrapbook and not even just dream, but, like, these things will be part of my life.

而他那本剪贴簿里记的几乎所有事情，后来都成真了。

And pretty much everything that was in that scrapbook of his has come to fruition.

这并不是因为迪皮卡的父亲做了个初代愿景板，然后就一个劲地许愿。

That's not because Deepika's dad made an OG vision board and then wished real hard on it.

他把那本剪贴簿留在了印度，但他确实专注于自己的目标，并且坚信自己能够实现它们。

He left it behind in India, but he did zero in on his goals and his belief he could achieve them.

他付出了无数的心血、汗水与努力，就是为了把这些目标变成现实

So much so that he put in the blood, sweat, and tears to make them a reality

最终也确实做到了。

until they were.

我也是后来才知道这本剪贴簿的事情。

Only later did I learn about this scrapbook.

那时候我才惊觉，哇，他真的把剪贴簿里写的所有事都过上了。

And it was like, woah, all these things, like, he's living them.

这些都不是凭空掉在他头上的。

Not because they fell in his lap.

所有这些都是他亲手促成的，而且他始终相信自己能做到。

Like, he made all of those things happen, and he believed he could.

那么第四个要点就是：如果怀揣远大梦想，期盼更光明的未来。

So takeaway four, got big dreams, hoping for a brighter future.

循证显化就是付诸行动的乐观主义。

Evidence based manifestation is optimism in action.

它能帮你开启这段逐梦之旅，引导你把注意力、精力和信念都倾注在实现目标上。

It can help get you moving on that journey by shifting your attention, energy, and beliefs towards your goals.

总的来说，我觉得大家都只把目光放在“想要什么”上，却未必会专注于“相信自己能得到什么”。

On the whole, I think people really focus on the want and they're not necessarily focusing on the expect.

他们也不会把精力放在将目标落地的过程和实际付出的努力上。

And they're not focusing on the journey and the hard work in actualizing it.

所以说，没错，你可以去想象一件事，但要真的把它实现，这是一段需要付出努力的漫长旅程。

And so, yes, you can visualize something, but in order to actualize it, it is a journey and it takes work.

而且你还要做好准备，去预想可能遇到的挫折、不如人意的状况，还有各种小波折。

And you have to be also willing to visualize the setbacks and the less than ideal situations and the hiccups.

在身处这些不顺的阶段时，你又该如何自处呢？

And how will you be during those parts of it too?

毕竟没有人能完全躲开人生的困顿。

Because none of us are immune to struggle.

我常说，真正的乐观从来不会逃避现实的阴暗面。

I always say, you know, real optimism doesn't deny the dark.

它只是为我们提供了一种洞悉困境的方式。

It just gives us a way to see within it.

举个例子，假设你从小到大一直都想当一名宇航员。

Let's say growing up, you really wanted to be an astronaut.

当然了，光相信登上月球是有可能的，根本不足以让你穿上宇航服。

Just believing it's possible to set foot on the moon wouldn't be enough to get you into a spacesuit, of course.

但如果你在整个求学阶段都一直坚守这个梦想，这份热忱就可能会引领你去接触相关的书籍、俱乐部或同好，激励你去报考特定的大学、专业，甚至走上一整条相关的职业道路。

But if you hold on to that dream throughout your school years, that enthusiasm might lead you to certain books or clubs or friends, inspire you to pursue a particular university or major or entire career path.

你会冒出超多新想法，也会清楚自己到底需要付出哪些努力。

You're gonna come up with so many ideas, and you're gonna understand what the work is.

除此之外，如果你能在这个过程中坚持下来，说不定在你推进的过程中，会从中衍生出一个你更想要的新方向。

And then on top of it, if you persevere through that, maybe along the way, while you're doing this, something else comes out of it that you want even more.

因为努力去实现某件事，并不保证你能得到一开始期盼的 exactly 那个结果。

Because trying to manifest something does not guarantee you'll get exactly what you're hoping for.

但正如人们常说的，志存高远，方得卓越。

But as they say, shoot for the moon, land among the stars.

所以我们得先明白

So we have to know the

做这件事的目标和初衷。

purpose and the why.

之后我们的大脑就会开始梳理出前进的方向，我们也会一步步付诸行动。

Then our brain starts unlocking, you know, the path forward and we took it.

我们要么会继续沿着这条路走下去，要么它会为我们开拓出全新的道路。

And either we continue going down that path or it opens new paths for us.

没错。

Right.

等到十年后我们回头看时，就会觉得仿佛是宇宙在暗中协力促成了这一切。

Such that when we look back, you know, ten years from now, we'll be like, the universe conspired.

是啊。

Yes.

是我们靠自己的努力实现了这一切。

We we manifested this.

是吧？

Right?

但乐观绝不只是一种面向未来的修炼。

But optimism isn't just a practice for the future.

发掘事物好的一面对当下也大有益处，尽管这有时同样难做到。

Seeing the upside is plenty beneficial in the present moment, albeit sometimes equally hard to find.

我们最后一个要点，也就是第五点，是通过日常的乐观习惯为自己的成功铺路。

Our last takeaway, number five, set yourself up for success on a daily basis with optimistic rituals.

也许这意味着我们需要花时间，在每一天结束时为那些小小的成就庆祝。

Maybe that means taking time to celebrate small wins at the end of each day.

我每天晚上都会做一件事，我把它叫做‘已完成清单’，而不是待办清单。

I make something every night and I I it's called a toda list instead of a to do list.

我会把所有自己已经完成的事都写下来，都是实实在在做完的事。

I write down everything that I accomplished, and I did.

这就是我睡觉前会看到的内容。

That's what I see before I go to bed.

这个方法特别有用，我还会带着我的孩子们一起这么做。

And it is so helpful, and I also do this with my children.

因为我上床睡觉前，希望能感受到自己的价值，收获一份成就感。

Because when I go to bed, I wanna feel a sense of purpose and, like, a win.

我就是以这样的状态入睡的。

That's how I go to sleep.

做成的事越小，这份成就感反而越好。

And the smaller, the better.

我的清单上还会写一些小事，比如‘我今天喝水了’。

I mean, there are things on my list that are like, I drank water today.

或许开一场晨间舞会更符合你的风格。

Maybe a morning dance party is more your style.

这也是迪皮卡分享的方法之一。

That's another tip from Deepika's playbook.

又或者，对你来说，仅仅是给自己划定更严格的界限，规定自己只能在特定时间里沉湎于烦心事，就已经足够了。

Or maybe it's enough for you just to set stricter boundaries around when you allow yourself to sit with your woes.

当然，如果你能完全没有烦恼自然最好，不过

It'd be great if you didn't have any, of course, but

我们总归会产生担忧的情绪。

We are gonna worry.

担忧是

Worry is part

我们生而为人的一部分。

of our existence.

所以我做的一件非常有帮助的事情是，我实际上会在一天中安排专门的忧虑时间。

And so one thing that I do that is really helpful is I actually schedule worry time into my day.

记住，无论好坏，没有什么是永恒的。

Remember, for better and worse, nothing is forever.

在你力所能及的时候尽力去做

Do what you can when you

能做到就行

can.

对自己多宽容一点。

Give yourself some grace.

尽力出席并投入生活就好，不必追求完美，要接受我们总会犯错的事实。

Just being able to show up and engage in life without the pressure of perfection and with the idea that we are gonna make mistakes.

再说了，没有人能免于困境，但我们如何应对这些难题、手上拥有什么可用的工具来度过这些时刻，这对我们自己和身边的人都至关重要。

And again, none of us are immune to struggle, but how we are sort of navigating and what tools we have at our disposal and we are equipped with to walk through these moments are important for us and people around us.

迪皮卡·乔普拉，和你交流真的太愉快了。

Deepika Chopra, it's been an absolute pleasure.

非常感谢大家抽出时间参与交流。

Thank you so much for your time.

谢谢大家。

Thank you

也谢谢你们的乐观态度。

for your optimism.

感谢邀请我来参与这次交流。

Thank you for having me.

一切都在往好的方向发展。

Things are looking up.

我们来回顾一下原因。

Let's recap why.

要点一：乐观心态是推动积极改变的强大助力。

Takeaway one, optimism can be a powerful vehicle for positive change.

我们都可以通过训练变得更乐观，引导我们擅长展望未来的大脑变得更富好奇心、更具韧性，同时学会将困境视作暂时的状态。

We can all train to be more optimistic by conditioning our future minded brains to be more curious, resilient, and see the bad times as temporary.

第二个要点：基于感官的视觉化练习能帮助你将注意力导向理想的结果，拓宽你对可能性的认知边界。

Takeaway two, sensory based visualization can help direct your attention to desirable outcomes and expand your belief in what is possible.

第三个要点：我们给自己以及身边人讲述的故事会产生巨大影响，因此务必要谨慎、审慎地选择你使用的语言。

Takeaway three, the stories we tell ourselves and the people around us can have a big impact, so be careful and deliberate with the words you use.

用具体的个人肯定语句，以及为成长和改变留有余地的表达，来强化你的乐观心态。

Reinforce your optimistic outlook with specific personal affirmations and language that leave room for growth and change.

第四个要点：循证的显思实践能将你的乐观心态转化为实际行动。

Takeaway four, evidence based manifestation puts your optimism into action.

如果你已经定下了一个目标，那就去具象化、去坚信自己能够实现它。

If you have your sight set on a goal, visualize and affirm the belief you can achieve it.

然后付诸行动，踏实去做。

Then go do the work.

要点五：把培养乐观心态的安排融入日常日程，为成功做好铺垫。

Takeaway five, set yourself up for success by building opportunities for optimism into your daily schedule.

养成这些习惯吧：早上开一场专属舞会，专门留出时间梳理焦虑，睡前写下当天的待办清单，或是在一天里找个机会向某个人表达感谢。

Make a habit of a morning dance party, schedule worry time, write out a tadalis before bed, or just express some gratitude to someone somewhere in your day.

我相信要找到一个机会并没有那么难。

I'm sure it's not that hard to find an opportunity.

刚才是Life Kit栏目记者安迪·塔格尔的分享。

That was Life Kit reporter, Andy Tagle.

我们的节目就到这里了。

And that's our show.

嘿，还有最后一件事。

Hey, one last thing.

你能不能在你常用的播客应用上给《生活指南》（Life Kit）评分并写条评论？

Would you consider rating and reviewing Life Kit in your podcast app?

这能帮助我们的节目获得更多关注，把这份内容分享给更多人。

It helps grow the show and spread the word.

我很喜欢一位名叫Frank Lee的听众留下的评论，给大家读一下：

Here's a review I liked from a listener called Frank Lee.

有时候我都觉得你们是不是会读心术，还是偷偷拍了我的日常来攒节目素材啊。

Sometimes I think y'all are reading my mind or filming me for ideas.

每一期《生活工具箱》讲的都正好是我最近在想的事儿。

Every damn Life Kit is like everything I'm thinking recently.

哈哈，我爱你们大伙。

LOL, I love y'all.

我也爱你们大伙。

I love y'all too.

都学学弗兰克吧。

Be like Frank.

帮我们传播 Life Kit 的信息。

Help us spread the word about Life Kit.

现在就去你的播客应用给我们留下评价吧。

Leave us a review in your podcast app right now.

本集 Life Kit 由西尔维·道格拉斯和米卡·埃利森制作。

This episode of Life Kit was produced by Sylvie Douglas and Mika Ellison.

我们的数字编辑是马利卡·加里布。

Our digital editor is Malika Gareeb.

梅根·凯恩是我们高级主管编辑，贝丝·多诺万是我们执行制片人。

Megan Cain is our senior supervising editor, and Beth Donovan is our executive producer.

我们的制作团队还包括克莱尔·玛丽·施耐德和玛格丽特·索里诺。

Our production team also includes Claire Marie Schneider and Margaret Sorino.

工程支持由蒂芙尼·韦拉卡斯特罗提供。

Engineering support comes from Tiffany Veracastro.

事实核查由威廉·蔡斯和巴克莱·沃尔什负责。

Fact checking by William Chase and Barclay Walsh.

我是马里奥·萨加拉。

I'm Mario Sagara.

谢谢收听。

Thanks for listening.

我是《美国生活》的伊拉·格拉斯。

This is Ira Glass of This American Life.

你知道我们的节目吗？

Do you know our show?

好的。

Okay.

但无论如何，我都要给你讲讲这个节目。

Well, either way, I'm gonna tell you about it.

我们制作故事

We make stories

这些故事希望能吸引你

that hopefully pull you in

故事开头会设置有趣的桥段、真挚的情感，还有身处意外处境中的人物，接着你就会迫切想知道接下来会发生什么，根本舍不得停下不听。

at the beginning with funny moments and feelings and people in surprising situations, and then you just wanna find out what is gonna happen and cannot stop listening.

就是这样。

That's right.

我说的是那种能让你听得连预约都忘了去的故事。

I'm talking about stories that make you miss appointments.

这里是《美国生活》，你可以在任意播客平台收听我们的节目。

This is American Life, wherever you get your podcasts.