找不到工作怎么办

你正在收听NPR的Life Kit节目。

You're listening to Life Kit from NPR.

嘿，我是玛丽埃尔。

Hey, it's Marielle.

你知道德国人对每件事都有一个专属词汇吗？

You know how the Germans have a word for everything?

我一直想知道，有没有一个词能形容那种你渴望某事发生时特有的痛感。

I've been wondering if there's one for that particular ache you get when you want something to happen.

我的意思是，非常渴望，甚至需要它发生。

I mean, really want it, maybe even need it.

你已经花了无数个小时去努力实现它——怀孕、寻找爱情、找到新工作。

And you've spent countless hours working toward it, getting pregnant, finding love, landing a new job.

但它就是没有发生。

But it is just not happening.

这很痛苦。

It's painful.

这让人发疯。

It's maddening.

它让你质疑自己。

It makes you doubt yourself.

它让你想向天空挥拳。

It makes you want to shake your fist at the sky.

其中一种强烈的表现形式是失业，尤其是当失业期持续很久时。

One acute version of this is unemployment, especially if it stretches out over a long period.

德斯·瓦尔德斯是一位持证临床社会工作者，也是一位财务治疗师。

Des Valdes is a licensed clinical social worker and a financial therapist.

她说，失业不仅仅是一场财务危机。

She says unemployment becomes not just a financial crisis.

它会影响我们的心理健康、身份认同、神经系统和人际关系。

It affects our mental health, our identity, our nervous system, and our relationships.

因此，许多人会经历悲伤、恐惧、自责、羞耻和大量不确定性的混合情绪。

And so many people can experience a mix of grief, fear, self blame, shame, and a lot of uncertainty.

我们的文化将太多自我价值与生产力和就业联系在一起。

Our culture really ties so much of our worth to productivity and employment.

当我们的工作消失时，我们可能会觉得自己的价值和身份也随之消失了。

When our job disappears, we may feel like our value disappears too, and our identity.

在你此刻感受到那种难以言喻的痛苦时，照顾好自己的心理健康变得比以往任何时候都更重要。

In this moment, when you're feeling the ache that cannot be named, it's more important than ever to take care of your mental health.

而这正是本期《生活工具箱》的主题。

And that's our topic for this episode of Life Kit.

我会和Des聊聊失业时一些常见的情绪反应。

I'll talk to Des about some common emotional responses to unemployment.

我们该如何照顾自己，继续与亲人沟通，并应对羞耻和悲伤等复杂情绪。

How we can take care of ourselves, continue to communicate with our loved ones, and address those sticky feelings like shame and grief.

顺便说一下，我查了一下，看看有没有德语单词能形容我一直在说的这种痛苦。

By the way I did look it up to see if there is a German word for this ache I've been talking about.

我找到最接近的是‘sehnsucht’，意思是对你所没有的东西的一种痛苦的渴望。

The closest I found is seinsucht which is basically a painful longing for something you don't have.

但通常你追求的是某种理想化的东西，比如一种超然的幸福状态，而这种状态可能根本不存在。

But it's usually something idealized like you're seeking some state of transcendent happiness that probably doesn't exist.

就像我高中英语老师曾经说过的，差不多，但不是segara。

As my high school English teacher once said, that's close but no segara.

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This message comes from Wayfair.

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Head to wayfair.com right now to shop all things home.

网址是wayfair.com。

That's wayfair.com.

Wayfair，每种风格，每个家。

Wayfair, every style, every home.

我觉得失业真的会打击你的自尊和自我认同，尤其是当你一直把自己视为自己的工作时。

I feel like being out of work can really hurt your self esteem and your sense of identity, especially, you know, if you're someone who saw yourself as your job.

我是一名消防员。

I am a firefighter.

我是一名记者。

I am a journalist.

如果这份工作与你的自我紧密相连，也许你早就渴望从事这份工作，那么你会说，好吧。

If it feels like it's interwoven with who you are, maybe it's something you wanted to do for a very long time, then you say, well, okay.

那我现在是谁？

Now who am I?

没错。

Exactly.

我们的职业身份深深融入了我们的自我。

Our professional identity is really wrapped up in who we are.

如果我们失去了这份身份，或者它被剥夺了，就会引发很多困惑。

And if we don't have that or that gets taken away from us, then it can cause a lot of, like, confusion.

我是谁？

Who am I?

我的价值是什么？

What's my value?

我如何在世界上展现自己？

How else do I show up in the world?

我能提供什么？

What do I have to offer?

这引发了很多问题。

It brings up a lot of questions.

长期失业的经历确实会激活创伤和匮乏反应。

And having an experience of long term unemployment can really activate a trauma and scarcity response.

所以，当我们的收入消失时，我们的神经系统会进入我们所熟知的冻结、战斗、逃跑或讨好状态。

So again, when our when our income vanishes, our nervous system can go into what we know as freeze, fight, flight, or fawn.

让我们逐一探讨这些反应。

Let's go through each of those.

你能说说在换工作期间，冻结反应可能是什么样子吗？

Tell me about how the freeze response might look if you're between jobs.

冻结反应可能表现为，你知道的，或者感觉你什么都做不了。

So freeze can look like, you know or it can feel like you can't do anything.

当你试图做决定时，比如该申请哪些工作或如何优先处理任务，你可能会感到大脑一片空白。

So you might feel mentally blank when trying to make decisions, like which jobs to apply to or how to prioritize tasks.

所以最终什么事都做不成。

So nothing ends up getting done.

你可能还会回避与金钱相关的事务，比如不开账单、不查看银行账户或不追踪支出。

You might also avoid money tasks like opening your bills or looking at your bank accounts or tracking your expenses.

战斗反应可能表现为疯狂浏览招聘网站、过度准备或过度运作，比如不断修改简历、完美化求职信，甚至强迫自己保持高效、拒绝休息。

Fight can look like obsessively checking job sites or over preparing or over functioning, like constantly rewriting your resume or perfecting your cover letters, or even forcing productivity and refusing to rest.

或者你可能熬夜投递简历，或者不断逼迫自己，证明自己足够努力、足够用心。

Or maybe you're working too late into the night on job applications, or you're just kind of relentlessly pushing yourself to prove that you're working hard enough or trying hard enough.

而逃避反应可能表现为沉迷于各种消遣，或与人际关系疏远。

And then flight can look like escaping into distractions or withdrawing from your relationships.

所以你可能在求职网站上无休止地刷屏，却没有任何实际行动。

So maybe you're doom scrolling job sites without taking action.

你可能回避与朋友或家人的社交互动，因为你不想谈论自己失业的事。

Maybe you're avoiding social interactions with friends or family because you don't wanna talk about being unemployed.

而最后一个反应是讨好，这可能是出于恐惧或内疚。

And then the final one here is fun, which can look like people pleasing out of fear or guilt.

你可能会答应做无偿或低薪的工作，因为你感到内疚，觉得自己既然失业了又有时间，就该为此付出。

And maybe you say yes to unpaid or underpaid labor because you feel bad or like you owe it since you're since you're unemployed and you have the time.

或者你接受了一份与自己不匹配的工作，为了维持和平而忽视自己的需求，比如假装自己很好，或者隐藏自己真实的压力。

Or maybe you take an unaligned job position or minimize your own needs to keep the peace, like pretending like you're fine or maybe you're hiding how stressed you actually are.

所以我想说的是，这些都不是性格缺陷。

And so I just wanted to say that none of these are character flaws.

它们是人类在面对长期失业或其他财务转型等艰难处境时，真实存在的创伤和压力反应。

They're very real in human trauma and stress responses to very difficult situations like long term unemployment or another financial transition.

第一点：失去工作并长期失业是一种创伤性事件，人们通常会采取冻结、对抗、逃避、讨好，或这些反应的组合来应对。

Takeaway one, losing a job and being unemployed over the long term is a kind of traumatic event and often people respond by freezing, fighting, fleeing, fawning or some combination of those.

我提到这一点，是因为仅仅知道这些就能有所帮助。

And I'm talking about this because it can help just knowing that.

能够识别出来：今天我正处于冻结状态。

Being able to identify, okay, today I'm in a freeze moment.

这种情况不会一直持续下去。

It won't always be like this.

当我们处于失业过渡期时，有哪些方法可以照顾好自己的心理和情绪？

What are some ways that we can take care of ourselves mentally and emotionally when we're in between jobs?

是的。

Yeah.

首先想到的是保持日常规律。

So one of the first things that comes to mind is around maintaining your routines.

作为人类，我们非常依赖规律的生活。

As humans, we really thrive in routines.

因此，在经历长期失业这样艰难的时期时，我们希望保持一种稳定感和正常感。

And so we want to maintain a sense of stability and a sense of normalcy while you're going through a really difficult situation like being unemployed for a really long time.

这可能意味着保持你平时的早晨作息，比如按时起床、吃同样的食物，或者坚持你生活中已养成的锻炼等健康习惯。

What that might look like is maintaining your typical morning structure that you do, waking up at the same time, eating the same things, or doing various health practices like exercising in the same ways that maybe you've integrated into your life.

此外，保持社交联系或履行家庭责任的日常安排也非常重要。

And then also routines around maintaining your social connections or family obligations is really important.

第二个要点是，如果你失业了，尽量保持尽可能多的日常规律。

Takeaway two, if you're unemployed, try to maintain as much routine as possible.

不管你是否喜欢以前的工作，它很可能为你带来了一些稳定性。

Whether you liked your job or not, it probably gave you some normalcy.

你知道，每周一到周五，你都会在某个地方从九点待到五点，见到那些人。

You knew, okay, I'm gonna be at this place every weekday from, say, nine to five and see these people.

但现在你不再有这种安排了。

And now you don't have that.

那么，你该如何用自己喜欢的、能反复进行的活动，以及能让你感受到自己能力的责任感来填补时间呢？

So how can you fill your time with activities you enjoy and do repeatedly and with responsibilities that remind you of how capable you are.

建立一个关于求职的日常安排也会有帮助。

It can also help to create a routine around job searching.

是的。

Yeah.

它可能意味着你每周为自己安排两到三天的时间。

It might look like committing to yourself maybe, you know, two or three days out of the week.

我每天会抽出一到三个小时，最多不超过这个时间，用于求职或学习一项新技能，这些都与你的求职申请或面试相关。

I am going to devote one, two or three hours max each day to job searching or maybe learning a new skill, something related that can support your job applications or maybe your interviews.

它也可能包括在前后留出时间进行自我照顾。

It also might look like carving out time before and after for self care.

确保在开始之前吃好、喝足，或者保证充足的睡眠，又或者在投入求职或申请这种更具挑战性、需要高度专注的任务之前先活动一下身体。

So making sure you eat and you hydrate before or making sure you're getting enough sleep or doing movement before you kind of go into that more difficult task or hyper focused task of job searching or applying.

同时也要确保留出时间建立联系、寻找快乐，以照顾好自己。

And then also making sure that you are carving out time for a connection and joy to kind of take care of yourself.

因此，它可能包含许多超出单纯实际操作的步骤，比如坐在电脑前打求职信和申请表。

So it can look like multiple steps outside of just the practical, like I am sitting down at my computer typing out cover letters and applications.

这远不止这些。

There's more to it than that.

我也在想，回到这个观点——我们的工作真的能赋予我们价值感和身份认同，当我们面对拒信或潜在雇主的完全沉默时，该如何维持自尊？

I wonder also, going back to this idea that our jobs can really give us a sense of value and identity, how can we maintain our self esteem when we're faced with rejection emails or complete silence from potential employers?

是的。

Yeah.

这种被拒绝或被忽视的感觉，或者没有收到回复，真的会让人产生一种个人失败的感觉。

So that rejection or feeling ghosted or, you know, not hearing back can really lead to having a sense of that personal failure.

你会觉得我们自己有问题，或者我不好、我不够优秀。

You know, believing that there's something wrong with with us or I'm bad or I'm not good enough.

我想说的是，也很重要的是要看看当前处境背后的各种因素，比如失业。

And what I want to say to that is that it's also important to kind of look at all of the factors that are at play that are contributing to your circumstances right now, like unemployment.

其中一些因素是外部的，比如经济状况、各种不平等，或者我们所处的系统。

Some of those factors are external, such as economic conditions, various inequities, or just the systems that we live within.

这些都不是个人的缺陷。

And those aren't personal shortcomings.

因此，通过识别这些外部因素，可以帮助你释放羞耻感。

And so by identifying those external factors, that can help you release that shame.

羞耻感会严重影响你的自信、动力以及继续寻找工作机会的能量。

And shame can really interfere with, like, confidence, motivation, and energy to continue pursuing job opportunities.

我觉得做一些能提升自尊的事情也可能很有帮助。

I feel like it might also be helpful to do things that boost your self esteem.

你知道吗？有没有什么练习或方法可以帮助人们盘点自己的长处？

You know, are there any exercises or ways that people can can take stock of what they are good at?

嗯。

Yeah.

当然有。

Absolutely.

这让我想到，当你感到毫无掌控感时，重建自己的能动性是多么重要。

This makes me think about how important it is to rebuild your sense of agency when you feel like you have none.

例如，如果你所有关于求职进展的感知都依赖于是否被录用，那你就会感到非常无力。

For example, if all of your sense of progress and job searching, is is tied to getting hired, then you can feel really powerless.

我们需要找到其他方式来感受自己做了有意义、有价值的事情，这些事能促进你的成长，帮助你记住自己是有能力的。

And we want other ways to feel that you did something that mattered or that is meaningful or that is useful, and something that can contribute to your growth and helps you remember that you're capable.

所以一些行动步骤可能是，选择一个即使很小但有意义的项目，只要你能掌控它。

And so some action steps might be, you know, choosing one, even if small, but meaningful project that you can that you can control.

这可以表现为参加一个免费的在线课程、做几个小时的志愿者、指导他人、组织社区活动，甚至做一个创意项目。

So it could look like taking a free online course or volunteering for a few hours or mentoring someone or organizing a community event or even doing like a creative project.

因此，做一些能让你重新连接到自身能动性的事情非常重要。

And so it's really important to kind of do things where you can reconnect with your sense of agency.

你可以追踪这个项目的进展，并将它与你的身份联系起来——比如你是谁、你的技能、优势以及你的价值观。

You can track your progress with that and then connect that project back to your identity of, like, who you are, what your skills are, your strengths, and and what your values are.

所以它可能是这样的：我是一个即使在人生这段艰难时期，依然能够学习并做出贡献的人。

So it might be like, I'm someone who can learn and who is who can still contribute even during these this hard season of my life.

第三个要点是，在寻找新工作时，请记住，被拒绝并不反映你作为人的价值。

Takeaway three, as you look for new jobs remember that rejection is not a reflection of your value as a person.

通常存在一些外部因素，比如你所在行业的整体状况。

There are often external factors like how your industry is doing.

也许行业内已经有很多裁员，最终这可能会引导你走向另一条职业道路。

Maybe there have been a lot of layoffs and ultimately that may lead you down another career path.

但在你此刻的处境中，记住这里发生了很多事情是有帮助的。

But while you're in this moment, it helps to remember that there's a lot going on here.

此外，做一些能让你想起自己擅长什么的事情。

Also, do things that remind you of what you're good at.

记住，无论你有没有工作，你都有权利体验快乐和享受乐趣。

And remember, you're allowed to experience joy and have fun regardless of whether you have a job.

你依然是一个人。

You're still a person.

广告后我们将继续带来更多《LifeKit》内容。

We'll have more LifeKit after the break.

好的。

Okay.

我们一直讨论的是失业者内心会发生什么。

So we've been talking about what goes on for the person who is unemployed.

但通常，他们和他人之间，比如伴侣，也会产生一些互动关系。

But often, there are also dynamics that develop between them and other people, like their partners, for instance.

那么，在失业者和他们的伴侣或家庭成员——比如和他们同住的人——之间，可能会出现哪些这样的互动呢？

What are some of those dynamics that can develop between the unemployed person and their partner or their family member, somebody they live with?

是的。

Yeah.

当一方经历长期失业时，可能会出现疏离感。

So what can happen when one partner is experiencing long term unemployment is disconnection.

这种疏离感会导致回避金钱话题。

And that disconnection can lead to avoiding money conversations.

它也可能导致你不清楚伴侣内心的真实感受。

It can lead to not knowing what your partner is going through emotionally.

它还可能引发冲突。

It can lead to conflict as well.

因此，在经历这样的事情时，努力维系你们的关系至关重要。

So it's really, really important to try to nurture your relationships while going through something like this.

而且这需要双方共同努力。

And that goes both ways.

对于失业者来说，一些行动步骤包括：定期安排时间与伴侣或家人沟通。

Some action steps for the person who is unemployed is to set up some regular time to check-in with your partner or family.

这有助于避免因沉默和隐瞒而产生的羞耻感。

And this essentially helps that person kind of not sit in the silence or secrecy that can result in shame.

因此，向家人敞开心扉可以有效减轻这种羞耻感。

And so opening yourself up to your family member can really reduce that shame.

尽量保持开放，使用清晰的语言来开启对话。

And try to be open, use clear language to initiate the conversation.

你可以说：我压力很大，或者我对失业感到羞愧。

You can say something like, I'm really stressed or I'm ashamed about being out of work.

我并不总是知道该如何谈论这件事。

I don't always know how to talk about it.

我们能不能每周抽出三十分钟，专门来讨论这个问题？

Can we have thirty minutes once a week to really focus on that conversation?

同时，也不要时时刻刻都谈论这件事。

And also so we're not talking about it all the time.

在这次对话中，你可以分享一些这样的内容，比如：这是我这周做的，或者这是我计划要做的。

In that conversation, you can share things like here's this, you know, this is what I did this week, or this is what I plan to do.

这是我现在的感受。

Here's how I'm feeling.

也许我感到沮丧，或者失去了希望，又或者我精疲力尽。

Maybe I'm feeling discouraged or I'm losing hope, or maybe I'm exhausted.

减少羞耻感真正发生在与他人建立联系或社群之中。

Reducing shame really happens in community or in connection to other people.

因此，对于这个人来说，邀请他们所爱的人一起参与进来，以便获得支持，这非常重要。

And so it's really important for that person to invite those people that they love into that with them so they can receive that support.

第四点启示。

Takeaway four.

如果你正处于换工作期间，你会感受到很多情绪。

If you're in between jobs, you will be feeling a lot of things.

但别忘了关心你的伴侣、家人，或任何与你共同生活的人。

But don't forget to check-in on your partner, your family, or anyone you share a life with.

他们也在经历自己的感受。

They're having their own experience with this.

如果感觉安全，可以和他们分享你的感受，并询问他们的感受。

If it feels safe, share your feelings with them and ask them about theirs.

可以考虑安排每周一次的更新，这样你就不用总是谈论失业的进展了。

And consider scheduling a weekly update so you don't have to talk about your progress on your unemployment all the time.

而在另一方面，如果你是正在经历这一切的人的伴侣、配偶、家庭成员或同住者，你也可以问他们，怎样才能最好地支持他们。

And then on the opposite end of things, if you're a partner, a spouse, a family member, member, or someone in the household with someone who's going through this, you can also ask them how you can best show up for them.

一句温和的话可以是：你现在需要建议，还是只是想让我倾听？

And one gentle phrase can just be, do you want advice right now, or do you just want me to listen?

你还可以避免使用类似‘你为什么还没’、‘你应该’或‘你知道的’这类直接提供建议的语言，转而尝试认可他们的经历。

And then you can also avoid different language around like, why haven't you or you should or what, you know, giving that like really direct advice and instead try to validate their experience.

我知道你一直在努力。

You know, I see how hard you're trying.

这确实是一个非常艰难的处境。

This is really a tough situation.

然后我认为，对于那个人来说，向正在经历这一切的人分享自己的恐惧也非常重要。

And then I do think it's really important for that person to also share their own fears with the person going through it.

这样他们也能与对方站在一起，说：‘我和你一起面对，我也很担心钱的问题。’

And so they can also join them and, hey, like, I'm in this with you, and I'm also scared about money too.

在某些情况下，配偶可能会说：‘我觉得我的伴侣并没有尽全力。’

I mean, in some cases, the spouse might say, like, I actually don't think my partner is doing everything they can.

或者，我觉得他们把自己封闭起来了，躲进了壳里。

Or, you know, I'm I feel like they're they've like shrunken into themselves or they've they've disappeared into a shell.

而且他们在家里的其他事情上也不帮忙，你知道的。

And they're also not helping at home with anything else, you know.

我不知道该怎么办，因为我不想让他们感到难过，但我确实需要他们多做一些。

And I don't know what to do because I don't wanna make them feel bad, but I also need more from them.

嗯。

Mhmm.

你描述的是那种可能出现的冻结反应。

You're describing that freeze response that can happen.

所以在你的例子中，伴侣可能会看到他们的另一半完全封闭或大脑一片空白，对吧？

And so it might be like in your example, the partner is is witnessing their partner feel totally shut down or go mentally blank, right?

所以他们可能在回避找工作。

So maybe they're kind of avoiding job searching.

也许他们就是提不起劲，也没有动力去做这件事。

Maybe they just, they can't find the energy or the motivation towards it.

这个问题让我想到的是，如何判断何时需要外部支持。

What this question leads me to is how to know when maybe outside support is needed.

以及这种外部支持是针对正在经历困境的个人，还是针对关系本身，比如夫妻咨询等。

And whether that looks like getting that outside support for the individual going through it, or getting that outside support for the, you know, like relationship or couples therapy, etcetera.

因此，我认为非常重要的是要留意并识别出，不仅要看旁观者，还要关注当事人自己：我到底怎么了？

And so I think it's really important to pay attention and identify not just the person witnessing, but also the person themselves like, hey, like what's going on with me?

我是否已经到了每天感到麻木、封闭、绝望，甚至觉得自己毫无价值的地步？

Am I at the point where I'm feeling really numb, shut down, hopeless, maybe even worthless most days?

我睡眠充足吗？

Am I sleeping enough?

我食欲下降了吗？

Am I losing my appetite?

我是否在疏远所有人或一切，或者觉得自己是个负担？

Am I withdrawing from everyone or everything or feeling like I'm a burden?

这些都是一些迹象，表明可能需要外界的帮助。

Those are kind of indicators that maybe outside help might be really supportive.

心理支持、寻找支持小组，或者只是引入家庭之外可信赖的人，比如朋友，来支持正在经历这一切的人。

Mental health support, finding a support group, or just, you know, maybe bringing in more people outside of the family unit, like friends who can be trusted people to support the person going through it as well.

第五个要点。

Takeaway five.

如果你爱的人失业了，要诚实地向他们表达你的感受，但也要考虑你表达的方式。

If you love someone who's unemployed, be honest with them about your feelings, but also consider how you say things.

尽量避免使用‘你为什么没做这个’或‘你为什么没做那个’这样的语言。

Try to avoid language like why haven't you done this or why haven't you done that?

用问题向他们表明你关心他们的经历，比如：‘你现在需要建议，还是只是想让我倾听？’

Show them that you're interested in their experience with questions like, do you want advice right now or do you just want me to listen?

此外，在这段时间里，你还需要照顾好自己的心理健康。

Also, you'll need to take care of your mental health during this time.

对于你们双方来说，如果你们在寻找心理健康专业人士，看看是否能找到提供按收入比例收费的咨询师。

For both of you, if you're looking for a mental health professional, see if you can find one who operates on a sliding scale.

经历失业的不仅仅是那个失业的人。

The person experiencing the unemployment isn't the only one who's experiencing it.

这会影响整个系统。

It does affect the whole, system.

这真的很难。

It's really hard.

当你感到经济不安全时，这可能是人生中最艰难的事情之一。

It's one of probably the hardest things in life, when you feel financial insecurity?

我想有一件事需要记住，当你身处危机或极度痛苦的境地时，这可能很难记住，那就是这一切都是暂时的。

I think one thing to remember, and this can be really hard to remember when you're actively in kind of a crisis situation or a really distressing situation, is that it's temporary.

我的意思是，无论你失业多久，最终很可能都会有一个不再失业的时候。

And what I mean by that is that regardless of the length of time that you are unemployed, there will likely be a time where you're not.

真的很难记住这一点。

And it's really, really hard to remember that.

很难记得自己的优势、技能和能力，以及你有能力做到。

It's really hard to remember what your strengths, your skills, your abilities are, and that you are capable.

因此，在你应对这段时期时，任何能帮助你记住这些自我部分的事情都至关重要，但这一切都是暂时的。

And so anything that you can do to kind of remember those parts of you is critical during this time while you're navigating it, but it is temporary.

所以我鼓励你做这些事来照顾自己，并在这样一段不愉快的时期中寻找那些快乐的时刻。

And so I just encourage you to do these things to take care of yourself and to find those instances of joy during a situation that isn't enjoyable.

Des，非常感谢你分享这些。

Des, thank you so much for this.

不客气。

You're welcome.

非常感谢你邀请我。

Thank you so much for having me.

好的。

Okay.

现在来回顾一下。

Time for a recap.

第一个要点是，失业是一种创伤性事件，人们通常会表现出冻结、对抗、逃避、讨好，或这些反应的某种组合。

Takeaway one is that unemployment is a kind of traumatic event, and often people respond by freezing, fighting, fleeing, fawning, or some combination of those.

仅仅知道这一点就会有帮助。

It can help just knowing that.

第二个要点是，如果你失业了，尽量保持日常规律。

Takeaway two, if you're unemployed, try to maintain a routine.

用你喜欢的活动和能提醒你自身能力的责任来充实你的时间，同时安排一些有结构的时间用于求职。

Fill your time with activities you like and with responsibilities that remind you how capable you are, along with some structured time for job searching.

第三个要点是，要记住，被拒绝并不反映你作为人的价值。

Takeaway three, remember that rejection is not a reflection of your value as a person.

第四个要点是，别忘了关心你的伴侣、家人，或任何与你共同生活的人。

Takeaway four, don't forget to check-in on your partner, your family, or anyone you share a life with.

他们此刻也在经历自己的感受。

They're having their own experience right now.

如果感觉安全的话，和他们分享你的感受，并询问他们的感受。

And if it feels safe, share your feelings with them and ask them about theirs.

另外，安排每周一次的进展更新，这样你就不用总是谈论失业的事了。

Also, scheduling a weekly update about your progress so you don't have to talk about your unemployment all the time.

如果你爱的人正在失业，诚实地向他们表达你的感受，但也要注意你说话的方式和接近他们的方法。

If you love someone who's unemployed, be honest with them about your feelings, but also consider how you say things and how you approach them.

同时，确保你在这一时期也照顾好自己的心理健康。

And make sure you're taking care of your mental health during this time too.

好了。

Alright.

这就是我们的节目。

That's our show.

在结束之前，你有没有一个会向其寻求建议的朋友？

Before we go, do you have a friend that you call for advice?

你觉得他们会喜欢《生活工具箱》吗？

Do you think they would like Life Kit?

为什么不与他们分享这一期节目呢？

Why not share an episode with them?

广为传播。

Spread the word.

好的。

Okay.

本集《生命工具箱》由西尔维·道格拉斯制作。

This episode of Life Kit was produced by Sylvie Douglas.

我们的视觉编辑是贝克·哈兰，数字编辑是马利卡·加里布。

Our visuals editor is Beck Harlan, and our digital editor is Malika Garib.

梅根·凯恩是我们的高级主管编辑，贝丝·多诺万是我们的执行制片人。

Megan Cain is our senior supervising editor, and Beth Donovan is our executive producer.

我们的制作团队还包括安迪·泰格尔、克莱尔·玛丽·施耐德、列侬·谢尔伯恩和玛格丽特·塞里诺。

Our production team also includes Andy Tegel, Claire Marie Schneider, Lennon Sherburne, and Margaret Cerino.

技术支持由夸西·李提供。

Engineering support comes from Kwasey Lee.

我是玛丽埃尔·塞加拉。

I'm Mariel Segarra.

感谢收听。

Thanks for listening.