在睡眠铁路上轻松呼吸：一个给孩子的故事

我是里亚。

This is Ria.

欢迎来到为小小人讲述的小故事。

Welcome to little stories for tiny people.

我怎么突然感觉这么热？

Why do I feel hot all of a sudden?

哦，希望我没有发烧。

Oh, I hope I don't have a fever.

哦，只是我这间小工作室里的壁炉烧得很旺。

Oh, it's just the fireplace blazing in my tiny little studio.

不管你有没有发烧，我觉得你会喜欢这个故事。

Well, whether you have a fever or not, I think you will enjoy this story.

而且这个故事有点长，我们就开始吧。

And it's a bit lengthy, so let's get things rolling.

它叫《睡梦铁路上的轻松呼吸》。

It's called Breathe Easy on the Sleep Railroad.

交给你了，乔莉。

Take it away, Chloe.

记住，没有图片。

Remember, there are no pictures.

你需要在脑海中想象画面。

You have to imagine the pictures in your mind.

你可以按照自己的方式想象。

You can imagine them however you want.

好的。

Okay.

我们开始吧。

Here we go.

兰登病了，病得比过去几年都严重。

Lambden was sick, sicker than he'd been in years.

这其实也不奇怪，毕竟在过去一个月里，当蜂蜜羊毛教授讲解纺车的复杂原理时，胡夫利先生则带领学生们深入了解了羊毛贸易的历史。

It was no wonder, really, given that for the last month at school, as professor Honeywool discussed the intricacies of spinning wheels, and mister Hoofley took the students on an enlightening tour of the wool trade throughout history.

而亚恩森夫人详细讲解了染纱的工艺，周围的小羊们纷纷咳嗽打喷嚏，尽可能地把病菌传播到各处。

And missus Yarnsen detailed the mechanics of yarn dying, young sheep all around Lambden cough and sneezed, and generally spread their germs as far and as wide as possible.

蜂蜜羊毛教授，我们又没纸巾了。

Professor Honeywool, we're out of tissues again.

请让你们的家长送些纸巾来，孩子们。

Please have your parents send tissues, children.

即便如此，兰本通常在整个冬季都安然无恙，连个喷嚏都没有。

Even so, Lambden usually sailed through the winter months with Nary a sniffle.

他显然免疫力极强，甚至在午后的自习课时主动去护士室帮忙。

He was so apparently immune, he'd taken to volunteering in the nurse's office during his after lunch study hall.

兰本，你有超级羊创可贴吗？

Lambden, do you have any super lamb band aids?

我们全用完了。

We're all out.

我们只有蓝色的创可贴。

We've got blue band aids.

好吧。

Alright.

不久，冬季的沉闷消散了，春天蓬勃而坚定地来临。

Soon, the doldrums of winter lifted, and spring bloomed fully and insistently.

教室里的咳嗽声渐渐平息，未开封的纸巾盒堆满了Honey Wool教授的壁橱。

The coughs in class subsided and unopened tissue boxes piled up in professor Honey Wool's classroom closet.

请让你们的父母不要再送纸巾了，孩子们。

Please have your parents stop sending tissues, children.

看起来，Lambden又一次在寒冷的月份里安然无恙，连轻微的感冒都没有得过。

And it seemed that, yet again, Lambden had made it through the chilly months without so much as a head cold.

他似乎已经安全了，直到上周四的数学课上。

It seemed as though he was in the clear until last Thursday in math class.

Lambden，说出你的答案。

Lambden, give us your answer.

如果每件毡制羊毛夹克有四个带拉链的口袋，那么为3,026件夹克缝制拉链需要多少卷线？

How many spools of thread would you need to sew zippers into 3,026 felted wool jackets, keeping in mind that each jacket has four zippered pockets.

好的。

Okay.

他怎么也清不掉喉咙里新出现的、非常不舒服的、刺痒的肿块。

He could not seem to clear the newly formed, highly uncomfortable, scratchy lump from his throat.

27。

27.

很好，兰登。

Very good, Lambden.

你去饮水机那里喝点水吧。

Why don't you take a trip to the water fountain?

喝水没什么用，他在家自己做的蜂蜜茶也没用。

The water did little nor did the tea with honey he made himself at home.

第二天早上，他醒来时头痛欲裂，喉咙剧痛，四肢无力。

And the following morning, he woke up with his head pounding and his throat throbbing and his limbs let in.

情况严重到他不得不承认，终于还是发生了。

So much so that he had to admit it had finally happened.

他确实毫无疑问生病了。

He was truly, undeniably under the weather.

他一整天都躺在床上，一会儿热得直冒汗，不得不踢开毯子，一会儿又冷得直发抖，只好堆上更多被子。

He spent the day in bed, alternating between sweating so much he had to kick off his blanket, and shivering so vigorously he piled on extra comforters.

他的头感觉离自己特别遥远，思维也模糊不清，仿佛被一层厚厚的羊毛包裹着。

His head felt strangely far away from him, and his mind was fuzzy as if it too were coated in a thick layer of wool.

他转动眼睛时，眼球会疼。

His eyeballs hurt when he moved them.

所以当母亲中午进来给他添热茶时，他把整个头都转过去看着她。

So when his mother came in at noon to replenish his chamomile tea, he turned his whole head to look at her.

他的鼻子堵得严严实实，完全无法通过鼻子呼吸。

His nose was so clogged, he couldn't breathe through it at all.

他生病最难受的地方是连看书打发时间都不行。

The worst part of his illness was that he couldn't even pass the time reading.

他正看到一个激动人心的冒险故事的高潮部分，急切地想知道结局如何。

He was smack in the middle of a thrilling adventure story and was desperate to know how it ended.

但每次他把书放在枕头边时，书上的字迹就在眼前晃动。

But every time he propped the book beside his pillow, its words swam before his eyes.

他的疲惫感压倒了他，不得不合上书，放回床头柜上。

His exhaustion overtook him, and he was forced to close it and return it to its place on his bedside table.

还有别的事情也在拖垮他。

There was something else dragging him down as well.

如今他真的病了，再也无法登上睡眠列车——那列他多年来几乎每晚都乘坐的魔法火车，它用迷人的表演、宁静的音乐和温暖的毛毯哄他入眠。

Now that he was truly ill, he would not be able to board the Sleep Train, the enchanted locomotive he had ridden nearly every night for years, the one that lulled him to sleep with its charming performances, its tranquil music, and its cozy blankets.

睡眠列车对此有明确的规定。

The Sleep Train had a firm policy on the matter.

兰登曾多次看到那只高大的驼鹿因为乘客轻微的鼻音就把他们从队伍中推出来。

Many a time, Lambden had seen the towering moose nudge passengers out of line for the crime of an audible sniffle.

爱洛伊斯，亲爱的，刚才是你发出那个令人担忧的声音吗？

Eloise, my dear, was it you who just emitted that worrisome sound?

是的。

Yeah.

是干燥空气引起的咳嗽吗？

A coughing fit brought on by dry air?

光是这个就足以让你被赶出去了。

That was more than enough to get you booted.

辛克莱，让西奥多送你出去吧。

Sinclair, let me have Theodore here escort you out.

好了，你走吧。

But Off you go.

登车是不可能的了。

Boarding the train was out of the question.

在康复之前，他是不会被允许上车的。

He would not be welcome until he was restored to health.

兰登整个下午都在努力睡觉，却始终无法入眠，他渐渐明白，由于头脑昏沉，他将迎来一个漫长而辗转难眠的夜晚。

Lambden spent the entire afternoon trying and failing to sleep, and he came to understand slowly, given the fogginess of his mind, that he was in for a very long, very fitful night.

我不知道你怎么样，但当我卧病在床时，时间仿佛被拉长扭曲了，即使那是一个平淡无味的小时，也会感觉像一整天那么漫长。

I don't know about you, but when I'm sick in bed, time seems to stretch and warp so that an hour, dull and colorless as it is when you are ill, can feel more like a day.

这对兰本来说也是如此。

That was true for Lambden.

他在下午晚些时候陷入了一种不安稳的睡眠，然后突然惊醒。

He fell into a rough, unsettled sleep in mid afternoon and woke up with a start.

透过窗户看到月亮悬挂在漆黑的夜空中，他以为已经过了午夜。

Seeing the moon against a dark sky out the window, he assumed it was well past midnight.

他必须整个转过头去看钟，再花上几秒钟努力聚焦，才能看清时间。

It took turning his whole head to study the clock, combined with several effortful seconds during which the numbers came into a fuzzy focus for him to understand.

他只睡了几个小时。

He'd only slept a few hours.

现在才刚到傍晚。

It was early evening.

在日出之前，他还得熬过一个漫长而黑暗的夜晚。

He had a long dark night to endure before the sun came up.

这次短暂的集中精力让他精疲力尽，兰本瘫回床上，头重重地落在枕头上。

Exhausted from this brief exercise in concentration, Lambden slumped back in bed, his head landing like a weight upon his pillow.

就在那时，他听到了。

That's when he heard it.

全体上车。

All aboard.

这是乘坐睡眠铁路的最后通知。

This is the final call for boarding the Sleep Railroad.

提醒您，今晚是‘健康星期三’的首播，专为卧病在床的人士推出。

As a reminder, tonight is the debut of Wellness Wednesday, a new offering especially for those sick in bed.

身体不适的乘客可以加入我们，在整个晚间旅程中保持健康。

Under the weather passengers can join us and be well for the entirety of our evening ride.

只需转动您的睡眠铁路旋钮，即可享受一个宁静无病的夜晚。

Just turn your sleep railroad knob for a peaceful, ailment free evening.

这花了

It took a

好一会儿，兰伯登才意识到有人在说话，这声音并非他极度昏沉的想象所虚构的。

moment for Lambden to even register that someone was speaking, that the sound was not a figment of his profoundly murky imagination.

健康星期三，卧病在床的人也能康复。

Wellness Wednesday, those sick in bed can be well.

无病无痛的夜晚？

Ailment free evening?

仿佛这些话必须横跨一片海洋才能抵达他。

It was as if the words had to cross an ocean to reach him.

但它们确实缓慢而艰难地传到了他耳边。

But reach him, slowly and falteringly, they did.

通常，登上睡眠列车——这个以枯燥演讲而非迷人表演安抚乘客入睡的竞争对手——会让人感到失望。

Usually, the idea of boarding the Sleep Railroad, the sleep train's competitor, which soothed passengers to sleep with boring speeches rather than enchanting performances, would be a letdown.

但今晚不一样。

Not tonight.

我今晚真的能康复吗？

Could I actually be well for the evening?

只有一种方法能弄清楚。

There was only one way to find out.

兰登用尽全身力气坐起身，掀开了枕头。

Lambden mustered every shred of strength within him to sit up and peel back his pillow.

他的睡眠列车按钮就在那里，灰暗而冷淡。

There was his sleep train button, gray and unwelcoming.

就在它旁边，是睡眠铁路的旋钮。

And there beside it was the sleep railroad knob.

一圈闪烁的薄雾环绕着它。

A swirl of sparkling mist encircled it.

奇怪的是，尽管鼻子无法触及，兰登却仿佛闻到了桉树的香气，还有一丝薰衣草的味道。

Curiously, through his unreachable nose, Lambden thought he smelled eucalyptus, perhaps a touch of lavender.

真是奇怪。

How very curious.

全体乘客请上车，睡眠铁路即将发车。

All aboard, the Sleep Railroad will depart in just

兰登颤抖着转动了睡眠铁路的旋钮，一缕闪亮的粉末从他的枕头上猛然升腾而起。

Lambden shakily turned the Sleep Railroad knob, and a puff of glittering powder came bursting up from his pillow.

他咳了一声，周围的世界便消失在一片闪亮的薄雾中。

He let out a cough as the world around him disappeared into a sparkly haze.

他在黑暗中坠落了片刻，感觉像是几分钟，但实际肯定只有几秒钟。

He fell through darkness for what felt like minutes, but it had to have been seconds.

接着他重重地摔在地上，四周涌动着湍急的水流。

Then he landed with a heavy thud and felt rushing water all around him.

哇哦。

Woah.

这条水滑道带着他急速转弯，甚至倒挂着转了几个圈。

The water slide sent him careening around turns and upside down in loops.

就在他满心后悔不该来的时候，水流将他猛地冲进了一条隧道。

And just as he was filling with regret for coming at all, it deposited him with a splash in a tunnel.

兰本勉强站稳，摇晃着踩在不稳的蹄子上。

Lambden narrowly kept his footing, wobbling on unsteady hoofs.

他的头剧烈疼痛，同时却又浑身发烫又冷得发抖。

His head pounded something awful, and he somehow was both burning up and racked with chills all at the same time.

他的喉咙干得像沙漠，耳朵里仿佛有苍蝇在乱飞。

His throat was a desert, and his ears felt like there were flies wandering around inside them.

简而言之，他病得很重。

In short, he was very ill.

他环顾四周昏暗的隧道，觉得自己根本不该出现在这里，而应该躺在床上休息。

And glancing around at the dimly lit tunnel, he believed he had no business being anywhere except at home in bed.

他整个头都转了过去——移动眼睛仍然很疼——想看看身后，但滑水道已经消失，只剩下黑暗。

He turned his whole head, it still hurt to move his eyes, to look up and behind him, but the water slide had vanished and only darkness remained.

没路回去了，他喃喃道。

No way back, he muttered.

他转过身，看见前方有一团温暖的光。

Turning around, he saw a warm light ahead of him.

在黑暗与光明之间，兰本选择了光明。

And with a choice between darkness and light, Lambden chose the light.

他用颤抖的蹄子向前迈步，在昏暗的隧道里差点被一个金属转闸撞中腹部，整个人差点摔倒。

On shaky hoofs, he stepped forward in the dim tunnel and nearly toppled over a metal turnstile that hit him right in the midsection.

兰登呻吟着，再次为离开床铺而感到懊悔。

Lambden groaned, hit too with another dose of regret at leaving his bed.

他蹒跚地穿过转门，觉得自己像个傻瓜，就在这时，发生了一件让兰登震惊的事。

He felt like a fool as he stepped haltingly through the turnstile, and something happened that took Lambden's breath away.

完全不是这么回事。

Scratch that entirely.

那并没有让他喘不过气。

It did not take his breath away.

恰恰相反。

Quite the opposite.

自昨天以来，他第一次能用鼻子呼吸了。

For the first time since yesterday, he could breathe through his nose.

头上的刺痛感减轻为低沉的嗡鸣，他转动眼睛时也不再感到疼痛。

The throbbing in his head calmed to a low His eyes no longer hurt when he moved them.

他疼痛的喉咙只觉得干涩。

His sore throat felt merely dry.

他额头的灼热感降到了一种并不完全令人不快的温暖。

The heat in his forehead dropped to a not altogether unpleasant warmth.

四肢的寒战减弱为一种可以忍受的凉意。

The chills in his limbs lessened to a tolerable coolness.

就好像兰登的症状有一个音量旋钮，有人刚刚把它大幅调低了。

It was as if there existed a volume dial of Lambden's symptoms, and someone had just turned it way down.

尽管他的病还没有完全消失，但与刚才相比，这种相对的健康感足以让他精神大振，尽管他身上还因滑水道而湿透。

And though his illness had not completely left him, the relative wellness he suddenly felt compared to moments earlier was enough to thoroughly raise his spirits even though he was still soaking wet from the water slide.

但天花板上降下的烘干机很快解决了这个问题。

But that was soon remedied by the dryers that descended from the ceiling.

兰登太过放松，几乎没注意到随后到来的蝙蝠。

Lambden was so relaxed, he barely registered the subsequent arrival of the bats.

三只蝙蝠冲向他，扔下一套华夫格棉质睡衣，然后像来时一样迅速消失了。

The three of them rushed at him with a set of waffle knit cotton pajamas, then disappeared as swiftly as they'd arrived.

他独自留在隧道里，浑身干爽，只穿着一团蓬松的羊毛。

He was left perfectly dry with profoundly poofy wool alone in the tunnel.

火炬照亮了前路。

Torches lit the way.

兰登听到远处传来一声钟响，便迈着轻松的步伐朝声音走去。

Lambden heard a distant chime and set off toward it with an ease in his stride.

他那不再堵塞的胸膛中升起了希望。

Hope lifted in his decongested chest.

他拐过隧道的弯道，看见一队穿着睡衣的动物，排成一条长龙，正从一辆外观流线型的现代列车旁蜿蜒而过。

He rounded the bend in the tunnel and saw a line of pajama clad animals snaking away from a modern train with a sleek exterior.

一切如他所料。

All was as he expected.

但当兰登走近时，他看到那些动物一个接一个地穿过一片闪烁的薄雾，然后登上了睡眠列车。

But as Lambden neared, he saw the animals passing one by one through a sparkling cloud of mist before stepping aboard the Sleep Railroad.

那只高大的驼鹿的双胞胎姐妹注视着每位乘客穿过那片小云雾，等到她蹄中的灯笼亮起绿光后，便催促他们上车。

The towering moose's identical twin sister observed each customer pass through the small cloud, waited for the lantern in her hoof to light up green, then shooed them aboard.

原来你在这儿。

There you are.

去吧。

Off you go.

请上车。

Step aboard, please.

队伍迅速向前移动，灯光一次次变绿，催促着乘客们前行，他们打着哈欠。

The line moved swiftly with the light turning green again and again, prompting passengers forward, yawning.

这里不时传来咳嗽声，但除此之外，这些动物看起来都十分健康。

There were coughs here and there, but otherwise, there was no indication that the animals were anything but well.

很快，轮到兰登了。

Soon enough, it was Lambden's turn.

你好。

Hello.

晚上好。

Good evening.

请穿过消毒雾气。

Step through the sanitizing mist, please.

在其他任何晚上，兰登可能会犹豫，可能会问一些关于这种神秘物质的问题再进入其中。

On any other evening, Lambden may have hesitated, may have asked a few questions about this mysterious substance before entering it.

但他的症状缓解后，比平时放松多了。

But with his symptoms dialed down, he was much more relaxed than usual.

他大步走进那片小云雾，本打算直接走上楼梯，但那只驼鹿挡住了他的路。

He strode into the tiny cloud, and he meant to keep on striding right up the stairs, but the moose blocked his way.

请您让一下。

I'll need you to step aside, please.

就在这时，兰登发现信号灯并没有变绿。

It was then that Lambden saw the lantern had not turned green.

它亮着鲜红的光。

It was bright red.

驼鹿把他带到一旁，并示意队伍继续前进。

The moose ushered him off to the side and motioned for the line to keep moving.

她一边从腰带上取下对讲机，一边低声说：‘肯定病得不轻。’

Must be very ill, she muttered as she unclipped a walkie talkie from her belt.

埃尔默，我需要你去登机口给一位乘客喷洒消毒。

Elmer, I need you to spray down a passenger at the boarding gate.

登机口需要喷洒消毒，埃尔默。

Elmer, spray down needed at the boarding gate.

收到。

Roger that.

当兰登看到埃尔默朝他走来时，先是困惑，随后感到不安。

Lambden was first confused and then alarmed when he saw Elmer headed his way.

给他喷一下吧？

Spray him down, will you?

那只驼鹿说道，然后把注意力转回了队伍。

The moose said and turned her attention to the line.

兰登咽了口唾沫，任由一只穿着制服、长相粗犷的臭鼬摆布。

Lambden gulped as he was left at the mercy of a gruff looking uniformed skunk.

在兰登想出理由解释为什么自己没通过消毒雾气却要被臭鼬喷洒之前，埃尔默已经从工具腰带上取出一瓶喷雾，从头到脚开始给他喷洒起来。

Before Lambden could come up with a reason why his failed trip through the sanitizing mist should result in his being sprayed by a skunk, Elmer withdrew a bottle from his utility belt and began spritzing Lambden from head to hoof.

啊。

Ah.

哦，没错。

Oh, that yep.

那东西喷到我眼睛里了。

That went in my eye.

先生，如果您站稳了，我马上就好。

Sir, if you stand still, I'll be done in just a minute.

喷雾瓶里的液体有着浓烈的花香。

The liquid in the spray bottle had a strong floral scent.

当那只臭鼬喷完并把兰本送回队伍时，他浑身散发着一个移动的香包气味。

And when the skunk finished and guided Lambden back in line, he smelled much like a walking pouch of potpourri.

这并不重要。

It didn't matter.

他感到非常庆幸。

He was very relieved.

他也是队伍里最后一个。

He was also the very last in the queue.

他前面的袋鼠跳进了雾中，并被允许登机。

The wallaby ahead of him hopped into the mist and was greenlit to board.

轮到兰登了。

It was Lambden's turn once again.

站在闪亮云雾旁的驼鹿平静地望着他。

The moose, standing beside the shimmering cloud, regarded him with a placid expression.

当他迈出一步时，她说道，

As he took a step, she said,

我必须提醒你。

I must warn you.

每位乘客只允许一盏红灯。

We only allow one red light per passenger.

恐怕如果您的灯不是绿色的，就不允许登机。

I'm afraid if your light isn't green, you will not be permitted to board.

那时，兰登根本不在乎。

At that point, Lambden did not care.

他非常感激自己终于能用鼻子呼吸了。

He was so grateful to be able to breathe through his nose.

他宁愿在月台上睡觉也心甘情愿。

He'd have happily slept on the train platform.

他对着驼鹿露出轻松的微笑，迈步走进了那片薄雾中。

With a carefree smile to the moose, he stepped into the cloud of mist.

在余光中，他看到一抹绿色的光，并听见了声音，

In his periphery, he saw a glow of green and heard,

请上车。

step aboard, please.

你来了。

There you are.

柠檬姜茶，加一勺蜂蜜。

Lemon ginger tea with a dollop of honey.

兰本差点没听到那细微的声音为他送上茶。

Lambden nearly missed the small voice offering him tea.

他低头一看，发现一只圆眼睛的花栗鼠站在车厢头，推着一辆装满小酒杯大小茶杯的小车。

He looked down and saw a wide eyed chipmunk stationed at the head of the cabin with a cart filled with thimble sized teacups.

他一饮而尽，一股暖意突然从胸腔蔓延至他的蹄子。

He drank the tea in a single swig that sent a surprising warmth through his torso and down to his hoofs.

他弯下腰，把小茶杯还给了花栗鼠。

He stooped and returned the tiny dish to the chipmunk.

真好喝。

Delicious.

谢谢。

Thank you.

不客气。

My pleasure.

今晚的睡眠列车感觉不太一样。

The Sleep Railroad had a different feel this evening.

空气更温暖了，略带潮气，弥漫着淡淡的桉树和薄荷香气。

The air was warmer, slightly humid, and infused with a faint scent of eucalyptus and mint.

乘客们比平时更显困倦，时不时地擤鼻子，但看起来十分放松，想必正享受着自己轻微的症状。

The passengers appeared drowsier than usual, sniffling here and there, but seemingly at complete ease, no doubt enjoying their own dialed down symptoms.

甜美的轻音乐从扬声器中缓缓飘出。

Sweetly serene music drifted from the speakers.

只剩下寥寥几个座位了，于是兰本找到了第一个遇到的座位——靠过道、位于车厢中后部的位置。

There were only a handful of seats left, so Lambden took the first one he encountered, an aisle seat halfway back.

他坐在一只松鸡旁边，翻看着一本《飞盘高尔夫月刊》。

He settled in beside a partridge, flipping through an issue of Frisbee Golf Monthly.

兰本说他在为一场演讲做准备，连他自己都惊讶于自己在身体尚未完全康复时竟还试图闲聊。

Studying up for a speech, Lambden said, surprising himself by attempting small talk while he was still technically under the weather.

那只松鸡用看疯子一样的眼神看着他。

The partridge regarded him as if he'd lost his mind.

飞盘高尔夫这个话题太刺激了。

Frisbee golf is much too stimulating a topic.

我们就是要把这些家伙哄得昏昏欲睡，可不能让他们坐立不安，兴奋得直挠爪子。

We're to bore creatures to sleep, not put them on the edge of their seats, nibbling at their talons with nervous excitement.

兰登正懵懵懂懂地琢磨自己是不是真的疯了，那只山鹑突然爆发出一阵大笑。

Lambden vaguely wondered if he had lost his mind until the partridge burst out laughing.

你刚才都没看见自己那表情。

You should have seen your face.

我可真把你唬住了。

I really had you going.

没错。

Yes.

他边说边叹着气，把那本杂志塞进了前方座椅靠背的口袋里。

He said, wedging the magazine into the seat back pocket in front of him with a sigh.

这是为一场演讲准备的资料。

It's for a speech.

不过上次已经轮到我发言了，所以你们大概率不会听到我讲解如何在轻度到中度的微风里精准调整飞盘的角度了。

Though I was called last time, so it's unlikely you'll get to hear about how to expertly tilt one's disc in a light to moderate breeze.

兰登笑了。

Lambden chuckled.

我的损失。

My loss.

他想象了一下，那头高大的驼鹿和睡眠列车可能会

He imagined for a moment what the towering moose and the sleep train might

说。

say.

兰登，你最好准备一段能催人入睡的演讲。

Lambden, it would behoove you to have a slumber inducing speech at the ready.

如果你中了彩票，可不想因为没点枯燥乏味的话可说而措手不及。

You don't want to be caught with nothing mind numbingly dull to say should you win the lottery.

现在就准备吧。

Now do.

但他的思绪被过道里的一只长颈鹿打断了。

But his musings were interrupted by a giraffe in the aisle.

治疗性袜子，芳香疗法颈枕。

Therapeutic socks, aromatherapy neck pillow.

和往常一样，睡眠列车上看不到任何毯子。

No blankets in sight as usual on the sleep railroad.

但这一次，兰登真的并不在意。

But for once, Lambden truly did not mind.

他欣然接受了所提供的物品。

He gratefully accepted the items on offer.

很难准确描述他自从穿过闸机后的感觉。

It is difficult to convey precisely how he'd felt since stepping through that turnstile.

一整天，他都因病而沉重不堪，四肢无力，昏昏沉沉，思维迟钝。

All day, he'd been weighed down with illness, leaden limbed, lethargic, woolly minded.

重力似乎增强了好几倍，将他牢牢锁在床上。

Gravity had seemed to multiply in force, keeping him chained to his bed.

他花了全部的力气，才勉强掀开枕头下的旋钮。

It had taken all his strength to simply turn the knob beneath his pillow.

他摇摇晃晃地从滑水道上走下来，蹄子不稳。

He had staggered from the water slide on wobbly hoofs.

接着，一种解脱感。

Then, relief.

从那一刻起，他感到全身上下有一种愉悦的嗡鸣感。

Ever since that moment, he'd felt a pleasant humming sensation up and down his frame.

他感觉轻如空气，仿佛能飘离地面。

He had felt lighter than air, as if he could levitate off the ground.

那么，那晚他需要一条毯子来保暖吗？

So did he need a blanket for comfort that evening?

不需要。

No.

他不需要。

He did not.

他微笑着，心不在焉地将脖子靠在枕头上，蹄子暖暖地裹在袜子里，睡眠列车缓缓启动。

He nestled smiling absently with his neck cradled in his pillow and his hoofs warm in his socks as the sleep railroad began to move.

晚上好，各位乘客。

Good evening, passengers.

借助我们的抽奖系统，我们选出了今晚的第一位发言者。

With the aid of our lottery system, we have selected tonight's first speaker.

请卡拉·B.

Will Carla B.

天鹅请走上讲台开始发言。

Swan please approach the lectern and begin.

一只高挑、全身洁白羽毛、脖颈优雅弯曲的鸟从兰布登身后过道中走出，款款走向讲台。

A statuesque white feathered bird with a gracefully curved neck emerged from the aisle behind Lambden and sashayed to the lectern.

乘客们低声低语表示赞同，无疑和兰布登一样，想象着这样一只生物的声音会像小舟滑过宁静湖面般平滑而梦幻。

The passengers quietly murmured their approval, undoubtedly joining Lambden in imagining that such a creature's voice would be as smooth and as dreamlike as a canoe gliding through a tranquil lake.

所有人都错了。

Everyone was wrong.

你好。

Hello.

今晚我要跟你们讲讲自己剪头发的事。

Tonight I will tell you about giving yourself a haircut.

我个人完全没有这方面的经验，这让我成为一个公正的旁观者。

I personally have no experience with this, which makes me an impartial observer.

乘客们在座位上不安地挪动起来。

The passengers shifted in their seats.

我的建议主要针对那些像贵宾犬、牦牛、安哥拉兔、某些浣熊，偶尔还有负鼠这样的生物。

My advice is mainly directed to creatures such as poodles, yaks, angora rabbits, some raccoons, and the occasional opossum.

除了牦牛之外，所有这些生物都出现在睡眠号列车上。

All such creatures were present on the Sleep Railroad with the exception of yaks.

它们在座位上挺直了身子。

They perked up in their seats.

我给想自己剪头发的人的第一条建议是：别给自己剪头发。

My first piece of advice for giving yourself a haircut is do not give yourself a haircut.

这主意很糟糕，而且剪出来一看就是自己弄的。

It's a bad idea, and it will look like you did it.

唯一会夸你发型好看的人，只有你妈妈和视力很差（无论戴不戴眼镜）的威尔玛阿姨。

And the only person who will compliment you on your haircut is your mother and your aunt Wilma who cannot see very well with or without her glasses on.

坐在小屋前端凳子上的驼鹿，听到过道里传来一阵阵窃笑，略带惊慌地环顾四周。

The moose, seated on a stool at the head of the cabin, glanced around with mild alarm as giggles rippled through the aisles.

如果你非要自己剪头发，无论如何都不要给自己剪刘海。

If you insist on giving yourself a haircut, do not, under any circumstances, give yourself bangs.

你会后悔的，不只是今天，而是你余生的每一天。

You will regret it, not just for the day, but for the rest of your life.

驼鹿皱了皱眉头，但什么也没说，大概是因为天鹅的发言并没有违反任何规则。

The moose furrowed her brow but said nothing, likely because the swan had not broken any rules with her speech.

如果你非要剪刘海，务必别剪得太短。

If you insist on giving yourself bangs, make sure you don't cut them too short.

你觉得应该有多短，其实都太短了。

However short you think they should be, it's too short.

所以，剪得长一点。

So cut them longer.

去问你姐姐。

Ask your sister.

她会告诉你的。

She'll tell you.

她会的。

She'll

一声铃响，驼鹿紧绷的脸上写满了惊慌后的释然。

A chime rang out, and startled relief was written all over the moose's pinched face.

谢谢你，卡拉。

Thank you, Carla.

请回到你的座位上。

Please return to your seat.

信不信由你，

Believe it or not,

坐在兰本德旁边的松鸡凑过来说，天鹅告诉她自己正在从流感中康复。

the partridge next to Lambden said, leaning over, that swan told me she's getting over the flu.

随着下一位发言者被选出，一只耳朵松垂的兔子在过道间蹦跳着分发小包裹。

As the next speaker was selected, a floppy eared rabbit hopped up and down the aisles handing out tiny packages.

哦，喉糖。

Oh, a throat lozenger.

这是喉糖。

It's a throat lozenge.

不。

No.

这是喉糖。

It's a lozenger.

不是的。

It's not.

巴迪·T·威尔肯弗罗格，请到讲台前来。

Buddy t Wilkenfrog, please make your way to the lectern.

一只神情放松的青蛙慢悠悠地走向麦克风。

A relaxed looking frog took his time approaching the microphone.

晚上好。

Good evening.

我的演讲是关于为朋友策划一个惊喜派对。

My speech is about planning a surprise party for a friend.

观众们保持观望，不确定这是否是一个令人昏昏欲睡的话题。

The crowd withheld judgment, undecided as to whether this was a sleep inducing topic.

此外，他们也被喉糖安抚了。

Additionally, they were placated by the throat lozenges.

我是说，那些尝起来有接骨木和百里香味道的喉糖。

I mean, lozenges, which tasted of elderberry and thyme.

如果派对的主角没有被惊喜到，那你就彻底失败了。

If the guest of honor isn't surprised at the party you've planned, then you've failed miserably.

大多数时候，动物们策划的惊喜派对都会被识破。

Most times, animals plan surprise parties that are bound to be found out.

例如，如果这个派对是为了庆祝你朋友的生日，你可以几乎肯定惊喜会被破坏。

For example, if this party is for your friend's birthday, you can almost guarantee the surprise will be ruined.

新闻快讯，你的朋友知道他的生日快到了。

News flash, your friend knows his birthday is coming.

所以你想知道策划一场万无一失的惊喜派对的秘密吗？

So you wanna know the secret to planning a foolproof surprise party?

驼鹿在凳子上挺直了身子。

The moose sat up straight on her stool.

咳咳，她抬起眉毛，目光坚定地盯着墙上贴着的规则清单。

Ahem, she said, raising her brow and looking pointedly at the list of rules affixed to the wall.

不得使用修辞性问句，也不得透露任何秘密。

There are to be no rhetorical questions nor are there to be secrets revealed.

抱歉。

Sorry.

让我告诉你这个秘密。

Let me tell you the secret.

我的意思是，策划一场真正令人震惊的惊喜派对的关键所在。

I mean, the key to a foolproof plan for a truly shocking surprise party.

驼鹿稍微放松地坐回座位上。

The moose relaxed fractionally into her seat.

切记，我再重复一遍，不要以任何场合为由来策划这场派对。

Do not, I repeat, do not plan it around an occasion of any kind.

不要以生日、纪念日、升职、降职、节假日、浴室翻新、新买的木屐、一份梦寐以求的工作面试、一份糟糕的工作面试为由来策划——车厢里的乘客们开始一个个睡着了。

Do not plan it around a birthday, an anniversary, a promotion, a demotion, a holiday, a bathroom remodel, a new pair of clogs, an interview for a coveted job, an interview for a lousy job, A Passengers throughout the railcar began dropping off to sleep.

兰登打了个哈欠，重重地靠在座位上。

Lambden yawned and settled heavily in his seat.

这是一段愉快的等待，完全不像让他整天赖在床上的那种感觉。

It was a pleasant wait, nothing like what kept him in bed all day.

他有点轻微的头痛，额头发烫，但这些都只是小事。

He had the slightest headache, and his forehead felt hot, but these were mere trifles.

巴迪·T·威尔肯弗罗格在越来越困倦的观众面前继续在麦克风前讲话。

Buddy t Wilkenfrog went on at the microphone before an increasingly sleepy audience.

这场派对绝对不应该有任何理由，只有当它真正突如其来时，你才能真正地给朋友一个惊喜，让他直接倒地。

There should be absolutely no reason for this party because only when it is truly out of the blue can you legitimately surprise your friend so much that he falls over.

另外，把派对安排在星期四。

Also, hold the party on a Thursday.

感谢你如此深刻的阐述。

Thank you for that enlightening articulation.

巴迪悠闲地走到车厢后部的座位上。

Buddy hopped unhurriedly to his seat at the rear of the cabin.

兰本没有看见他离开。

Lambden did not see him go.

他双眼紧闭，呼吸缓慢而规律。

His eyes were closed, his breathing slow and regular.

他周围，车厢里安静下来，乘客们更深地陷进座位里。

All around him, the railcar hushed as passengers nestled further into their seats.

动物们显然身体不太舒服，有些细微的迹象。

There were subtle signs that the animals were not fully well.

兰本身旁的鹧鸪在睡梦中轻微地喘着气。

The partridge beside Lambden wheezed lightly in his sleep.

三排之外的狐狸，随着发烧加剧，甩掉了袜子。

The fox, three rows down, tossed off his socks as his fever rose.

最后一排的犰狳每隔几分钟就因寒冷而颤抖。

The armadillo in the last row shivered with a chill every few minutes.

但所有动物，无一例外，都比这一天中任何时候都要平静。

But all of them, to a creature, were more at peace than they had been all day.

在麦克风前，一只草原犬鼠滔滔不绝地讲述着给宠物洗澡的可靠方法。

At the microphone, a prairie dog prattled on about tried and true methods for bathing one's pet.

如果你的宠物比鼩鼱还小，一个特百惠容器就足以当浴盆。

If your pet is smaller than a shrew, a Tupperware is an appropriate tub.

如果你的宠物是蝾螈，多泡十七分钟。

If your pet is a salamander, soak for an extra seventeen minutes.

但没人听他讲。

But no one was listening.

车厢里四处响起了哈欠声。

Yawns went up around the cabin.

驼鹿在凳子上打起了瞌睡。

The moose dozed on her stool.

兰登的思绪变得模糊起来。

Lambden's thoughts grew hazy.

他的内心平静了下来。

His mind quieted.

兰登缓缓睁开了眼睛。

Lambden eased his eyes open.

他花了整整一秒才明白，刚才听到的喷嚏声并不是来自自己。

It took him a second to understand that the sneezes he had just heard had not come from him.

那是爸爸的喷嚏声。

Those are dad's sneezes.

他犹豫着要不要环顾自己的房间。

He hesitated to look around his room.

他清楚地记得，这样的动作曾带来多大的痛苦，但他发现自己的眼睛不再疼痛了。

He remembered well the pain such an action could bring, but he found his eyes no longer hurt.