11. 男性与女性

我想这应该很容易理解。

I think that's probably quite easy to understand.

分享意味着把你拥有的东西给予他人。

Sharing means giving things to other people that you have.

比如说，如果我买了一些巧克力，然后问朋友们：'来，你们要吃点巧克力吗？'

For example, if I buy some chocolates and I say to my friends, here, do you want some chocolates?

来吧，大家都来吃点巧克力。

Come on everyone, have some chocolates.

我正在分享巧克力。

I'm sharing the chocolate.

而不是独自占有。

I'm not just keeping it for myself.

明白了吗？

Okay?

显然，女性通过彼此分享事物来获得快乐。

So apparently women find happiness by sharing things with each other.

明白了吗？

Okay?

并且拥有高质量的人际关系。

And having a having good quality relationships.

所以文章说，比起修建高速公路和高楼大厦，她们更感兴趣的是和谐共处、社区生活和充满爱的合作。

So it says, rather than building highways and tall buildings, they're more interested in living together in harmony, community, and loving cooperation.

这意味着要共同生活、共同工作、共同协作，不是冲突对立，而是和谐相处。

So that means that living together and working together, operating together, not in conflict, but in harmony.

清楚了吗？

Okay?

对。

Right.

这相当明确了。

That's fairly clear.

那么沟通就非常重要。

Then communication is very important.

分享情感比实现目标和取得成功更重要。

Sharing their feelings is more important than achieving goals and being successful.

明白吗？

Okay?

我想这一点也很清楚。

That's that's clear as well, I think.

他们以直觉敏锐为傲。

They pride themselves on being intuitive.

这里又出现了'以直觉为傲'，和上一段摘录中一样。

There there we have pride themselves again, same as in the last extract, on being intuitive.

如果你具备直觉，意味着你有洞察力，能够感知他人的想法或感受。

Now if you're intuitive, it means you have intuition, and it means that you're able to you you know what other people are thinking or feeling.

所以你拥有情商。

So you have an emotional intelligence.

也就是说，如果一位女性有直觉，意味着她能感知他人的感受或想法。

So it means if if a woman is intuitive, it means she knows how other people are feeling or or thinking.

对吧？

Right?

好的。

Okay.

所以他们以直觉敏锐和体恤他人感受为傲。

So they pride themselves on being intuitive and considerate of the feelings of others.

如果你体恤他人感受，意味着你会考虑别人的情绪。

If you're considerate of the feelings of others, it means that you think about other people's feelings.

明白吗？

Okay?

当金星人感到沮丧、压力、困惑或绝望时，他们会寻求解脱。

When Venusians feel upset or stressed or confused or hopeless, they find relief.

这意味着他们能够摆脱这些负面情绪。

That means they they can stop the the bad feelings.

对吧？

Right?

停止痛苦。

Stop the pain.

停止压力。

Stop the the stress.

获得解脱。

Find relief.

对吧？

Yeah?

通过分享他们的问题并详细讨论这些问题。

By sharing their problems and talking about their problems in detail.

我认为这应该相当容易理解。

I think that's probably quite easy to understand.

就是这样。

So there you go.

这就是约翰·格雷对男女差异的描述方式。

That's what John Grey that's how John Grey describes the differences between men and women.

不过让我们看看。

But let's see.

看看我的朋友们对此有何看法。

Let's see what my friends think about that.

首先，我和霍华德以及尼克聊过。

Now I first of all, I spoke to Howard and Nick.

霍华德你们可能之前听说过。

Now Howard, you've probably heard before.

如果听过关于Wacking Phoenix的播客，就是同一个人，不过这次房间里还有尼克，他是我的另一个朋友。

If you listen to the podcast about Wacking Phoenix, same guy, same same person, but also in the room was in this case is Nick, and Nick is another one of my friends.

以下是霍华德和尼克之间的对话。

So here is the conversation between Howard and Nick.

请仔细听这段对话，试着理解他们在说什么。

Just listen to the conversation, and I'd like you to just try and understand what they're saying.

稍后我会解释他们使用的一些表达方式。

Again, I'll explain some of the language that that they used afterwards.

明白吗？

Okay?

来听听霍华德和尼克怎么说。

So listen to Howard and Nick.

你听懂了并同意他们的观点吗？

Do you understand and do you agree with them?

开始吧。

Here we go.

哦对了，这段录音是用磁带录音机录制的。

Oh, by the way, this recording was made on a cassette recorder.

没错。

Yes.

是的。

That's right.

在英国，我们还在用磁带录音机。

In England, we still use cassette recorders.

这就像是，你知道的，回到九十年代或八十年代之类的。

It's like, you know, back in the nineties or the eighties or something here.

我们还在使用卡带录音机。

We're still using cassette recorders.

所以如果音质不像数字录音那么完美，那是因为这是卡带录音机。

So if the quality is not like digital perfect, it's because it's a cassette recorder.

但我认为实际上这个录音的质量还不错。

But I think actually that the quality on this one's not too bad.

所以你应该能听清楚。

So you should be able to understand it.

那么现在开始。

So here it is.

我觉得可以再靠近一点。

I think a little bit closer, I think.

+1，2345，请讲。

+1, 2345, speak.

测试。

Testing.

对。

Right.

好的。

Okay.

我现在和霍华德还有尼克在一起。

So I'm here with Howard and and Nick.

明白吗？

Alright?

你好。

Hello.

你好。

Hello.

最近怎么样？

How's it going?

好的。

Alright.

还不错。

Not bad.

对。

Right.

所以我要问问你们关于《男人来自火星，女人来自金星》这本书。

So I'm gonna ask you about this book Men are from Mars Women are from Venus.

哦，对对对

Oh yeah yeah

是啊。

yeah.

非常出名的书。

Very famous book.

没错。

Yeah.

非常著名的书。

Very famous book.

现在我们有点偏颇，因为基本上只有三个男人在讨论这本关于男女关系的书。

Now we're a bit one-sided because it's just basically three blokes talking about this book which is about men and women.

所以我们至少应该有个女孩在场，但没有。

So we should have at least one girl here but we don't.

只有三个男人在讨论《男人来自火星，女人来自金星》。

It's just three blokes talking about men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

霍华德，你实际读过这本书吗？

Now Howard, have you actually read the book?

说实话我读了大约半本。

You know I've read about half the book.

是的。

Yeah.

老实说我觉得有点无聊。

I got a bit bored to be honest with you.

为什么？

Why?

什么是

What's the

怎么了？

matter?

我觉得有些章节写得不错。

I found some of the chapters are good.

其中一些确实很有帮助，因为我曾经有个相当难相处的女友。

Some of them some of them are quite helpful because I I used to have quite a difficult girlfriend.

对。

Right.

然后

And

它确实帮我更好地应对她。

she did it helped me to to to deal with her.

是啊。

Yeah.

但很多章节，我发现自己会直接跳过，根本没在听他讲什么。

But a lot of them, I just found myself turning off and not really not really tuning into what he was saying.

没错。

Right.

尼克，你看过这本书吗？

What Nick, have you read it?

我读过一些片段。

I've read bits of it.

好像是在我女朋友某个朋友家里看到的。

I think it was around one of my girlfriend's friends' houses.

我想我读过部分内容。

I think I read bits of it.

而且我觉得这书对女性比男性更有用。

And I think it's more useful for women than it is men.

我觉得男性某种程度上，是的，差不多

I think men sort of Yeah, pretty

差不多吧。

much it.

这是本教科书，对吧？

It's a textbook isn't it?

是的，我认为它更有助于她们理解男性为何会做这些事。

Yeah, I think it's more useful for them to sort of understand why men do these things.

所以你认为是不理解男性的女性需要这本书，它能帮助所有不明白男性想法的女性，对吗？

So you think that it's women that don't understand men and so the book would be useful for all these women who don't understand what men are thinking right?

对，没错。

Yeah that's right yeah.

好吧，所以我们明白女性...不，我

Okay so we're okay we understand what women are No I

认为关于男性不理解或不给女性答案，只是倾听她们这部分内容挺不错的。

think the bit about the men not understanding or not not giving women answers, just listening to them is is quite a good one.

我以前经常和女朋友练习这个。

I used to practice that with my girlfriend.

实际上挺管用的，我觉得。

It actually works, I think.

真的吗？

Really?

那具体是什么建议呢？

So what is what is that advice exactly?

基本上就是，当你女朋友抱怨、发牢骚、喋喋不休的时候

Basically, you just got to when your girlfriend's complaining, whinging, going on about stuff

对事情各种不满。

Moaning about stuff.

不要给她提供解决方案。

Don't offer her solutions.

是啊。

Yeah.

只要倾听她的话，坐着附和她。

Just listen to her and sit and agree with her.

只要支持她，说‘是啊’。

Just back her up and say, yeah.

也许你是对的。

Maybe you're right.

只要倾听她，但不要提供解决方案。

Just listen to her, but don't offer solutions.

她不想要解决方案。

She doesn't want solutions.

但是，是啊，我同意。

But, yeah, yeah, I agree.

你老板是个白痴。

Your boss is an idiot.

是啊。

Yeah.

或者随便啦。

Or whatever.

没错。

Exactly.

是啊。

Yeah.

对啊。

Yeah.

所以男性通常的做法是，当他们讨论这类事情时，会试图想出解决问题的办法。

So what men usually do is is when they're talking about things like that, they'll they'll try and think of a solution to the problem.

如果有问题，我们就得想出解决方案。

If there's a problem, we have to think of a solution.

男性这样思考问题是很自然的。

It's quite it's quite natural to think that way for men.

但是

But

但我们不需要那么做。

But we don't need to do that.

不。

No.

我们没有。

We're not.

所以我们只需要继续，对。

So we just need to go, yeah.

哦，对。

Oh, yeah.

对。

Yeah.

真的吗？

Really?

真的吗？

Really?

哦，我知道。

Oh, I know.

我知道。

I know.

没错。

Exactly.

确实如此。

Exactly.

是的。

Yeah.

这样很好。

Which is good.

我觉得这很不错

Think I it's a good

这本书是谁写的？

Who is the book written by?

有人

Someone Was

是个女人写的吗？

it a woman that wrote it?

不是。

No.

是个男的。

It's a bloke.

是个

It's a

男的写的。

bloke that wrote it.

对。

Yeah.

嗯，法比的书是2000年还是哪年的畅销书。

Well, Fabi's got best selling book of 2000 and whatever.

2001年，2002年。

2001, 2002.

其实我觉得它在那之前就已经发布了。

Think it was it was released before then, actually.

你好。

Hello.

我是来自未来的卢克。

This is Luke from the future.

只是打断一下，这期节目是为了做一点事实核查。

Just interrupting, this episode just to do a little bit of fact checking.

是的。

Yes.

来自未来的卢克。

Luke from the future.

这期节目录制于2009年，而我现在是在2020年录制这段内容，十一年后。

This episode was recorded in 2009, and here I am recording this little bit in 2020, eleven years later.

总之，我只是想澄清一下这本书的作者是谁。

Anyway, I just wanted to clarify who wrote the book.

《男人来自火星，女人来自金星》这本书是由约翰·格雷所著，他是一位美国人际关系顾问、讲师兼作家。

The book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus was written by John Gray, who is an American relationship counselor, lecturer, and author.

没错，他是个男性。

And, yes, he is a man.

他是人际关系顾问、作家，同时也是男性——这几个身份不一定按这个顺序排列。

He's a relationship counselor, author, and man, not necessarily in that order.

这本书让我想想...

And the book let's see.

它最初是什么时候出版的？

When was it originally released?

对，是...

Was yeah.

这本书最初于1992年出版。

The book was originally released in 1992.

好的。

Okay.

感觉过去十一年间，在性别关系等方面发生了很大变化。

It feels like things have changed quite a lot in the last eleven years in terms of sort of gender relations and and so on.

我在想，如果现在重新进行这场对话会是什么样子。

I wonder what this conversation would be like now if I did it again.

这可能会成为未来另一期节目的有趣主题。

That could be an interesting theme for another episode for another time.

不过，现在我要让你们继续尼克和霍华德的对话了，我们开始吧。

But, anyway, I will now let you get back to the conversation with Nick and Howard, and here we go.

大部分内容都有点傻乎乎的。

Most of it is a bit bit silly.

这是

It's a

有点

bit bit

有点糟糕。

bit bit shit.

有

There are

其中有些部分确实蕴含了一些道理。

there are bits in it that have some some kind of truth behind them.

是啊。

Yeah.

没错。

Yeah.

而关于男性总是想为问题提供解决方案的那部分就是其中之一。

And that that the the bit about about men offering solutions to problems is one of them.

还有书中提到的男性喜欢躲进他们的'洞穴'里的现象。

There's also something about men being in the in their cave as as the book calls it.

对。

Yeah.

当他们处于那种状态时，不想被打扰。

When they're kind of they don't be talked to.

他们不愿受到干扰。

They don't be disturbed.

所以那个

So that that

我认为这其中有一定道理。

I think there's a bit of truth in that.

对任何人来说都是好建议，是的。

Good advice for any Yeah.

我是说

I mean

在外面。

out there.

是的。

Yeah.

比如说，如果你正和哥们儿一起看足球比赛。

So for example, if you're if you're there with you with your mates watching a bit of football Yeah.

你肯定不想讨论下周要和岳母做什么这种话题。

That you don't really wanna have a a conversation about what are you gonna be doing with the mother-in-law next weekend.

对。

Yeah.

就像在说，别跟我提岳母的事

It's like, don't talk to me about the mother-in-law

是。

Yeah.

或者看球赛的时候。

Or watching football.

没错。

Exactly.

这并不复杂。

It's not it's not complicated.

这并不复杂。

It's not complicated.

没错。

Exactly.

是啊。

Yeah.

男人看球时，别去打扰他。

When a man is watching football, leave him alone.

让他好好看球。

Let him watch the football.

对啊。

Yeah.

正是如此。

Exactly.

好的。

Okay.

好吧，行吧。

Well, okay.

我觉得我们至少应该有个女孩在场，让讨论更平衡些。

We we should have had at least one girl here to balance the argument out a bit, I think.

不过，是的，我想我们某种程度上把世界的问题都理顺了。

But, yeah, I think we sort of set the world to rights Yeah.

我也这么认为。

I think so.

把整个书籍的事情都解决了。

Sorted the whole book thing out.

没错。

Right.

下一个。

Next.

接下来是什么

What's the next

那关于

What about

为什么我女朋友总是抱怨个不停？

why is my girlfriend always whinging?

因为你根本没有好好听她倾诉。

Because you're not you're not listening to her problems properly.

你总想着要解决问题。

You keep trying to find solutions.

她不需要解决方案，老兄。

She doesn't want a solution, mate.

她只是需要你

She just wants you

她就是爱发牢骚。

to just She just whinges up.

她总是在我耳边唠叨。

She's always in my ears.

你不同意吗？

Wouldn't you agree?

嗯，也许你只是

Well, maybe you're just

没做对事。

not doing the right thing.

也许你是个糟糕的男朋友。

Maybe you're a bad boyfriend.

我觉得...我不这么认为。

I think that's I don't think so.

我觉得你很可能是个差劲的男友。

I think you're probably a bad boyfriend.

考虑到你交往过的几乎每个女友都在不停抱怨。

Considering pretty much every girlfriend that you've gone out with has just winged all the time.

显然你犯了非常非常严重的错误。

You're obviously doing something horribly, horribly wrong.

是啊。

Yeah.

但我显然也做对了一些事。

But I'm obviously doing something right as well.

你觉得卧室里有什么问题吗？

Do you think there's something wrong in the bedroom?

我认为那是个相关因素。

I reckon that's something to do.

嗯，是啊。

Well, yeah.

好吧，我们不该再谈这个了。

Well, we should stop talking about that.

总之还是谢谢你。

Thanks anyway.

谢谢你的开导，兄弟。

Thanks for talking Cheers, to mate.

干杯。

Cheers.

再见。

Bye.

好的。

Okay.

刚才你们听到了尼克和霍华德对‘男人来自火星，女人来自金星’这个话题的各自观点。

So there you heard Nick and Howard with their points of view on the whole men are from Mars, women are from Venus thing.

现在说说语言部分。

Now, the language.

这期播客其实有点不同，因为结尾不会有单独的语言环节。

This episode of the podcast is actually slightly different because there's there will be no language section at the end.

相反，语言环节和专题环节被合并在一起了。

Instead, the language section and the feature section are combined together.

明白了吗？

Okay?

现在我要回顾一下霍华德、尼克和我在对话中使用的一些语言或表达方式，并解释我们说过的话。

So I'm now going to go through some of the language or some of the expressions that Howard and Nick and I used in that conversation, and I'll explain the things that we said.

好吗？

Okay?

我也会把这些细节写在网页上，这样你可以阅读、查看那些单词和表达，帮助记忆或理解它们。

I will also write down these details on the web page so you can read them, look at the words and expressions there to help you memorize or or understand them.

好的。

Okay.

那么让我们先解释一下刚才那段对话中提到的内容。

So let's begin by explaining some of the things that we said in that little conversation.

我们开始吧。

Here we go.

好的。

Okay.

首先，这句话我说过几次，我想霍华德也说过。

To start off with, I said this a couple of times, and I think Howard said it as well.

哦，哎呀。

Oh, whoops.

是我的吉他倒了。

That's my guitar falling over.

没关系。

Never mind.

我要说的词是'blokes'，'blokes'。

The word the word I'm talking about is blokes blokes.

我刚才说这里只有三个'blokes'在讨论《男人来自火星，女人来自金星》。

So I said there are just three blokes here talking about men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

'bloke'就是指男人，基本上，'bloke'这个词是对男性的非正式称呼。

A bloke, is a man, basically, and it the word bloke is an informal, informal word for man.

明白吗？

Okay?

在美国，他们可能会说'guy'或'dude'，但在英式英语中，我们说'blokes'，'a bloke'。

Now in America, they might say a guy or a dude, but in British English, we say blokes, a bloke.

明白了吗？

Okay?

在那段对话中，你听到三个英国佬在讨论《男人来自火星，女人来自金星》这本书。

So in that conversation, you heard three blokes talking about men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

英国佬，一个英国男人。

Blokes, a bloke.

懂了吗？

Okay?

现在霍华德说，我曾有个难缠的女友，这帮助我学会了如何与她相处。

Now Howard said, I had a difficult girlfriend and it helped me to deal with her.

明白吗？

Okay?

所以这里的表达是'处理某事'或'应付某人'。

So this is the the expression here is to deal with something or to deal with someone.

'应付某事'意味着应对或处理它，通常你处理的是问题或棘手的事情。

And to deal with something means to cope with it or to manage it or usually you deal with a problem or something difficult.

举个例子，如果你处理一个问题，意味着你解决了问题、理清状况、管理问题，或者学会与困难共存。

So for example, if if you deal with a problem, it means that you fix the problem, you sort it out, you manage the problem, or you you learn to to live with something that's difficult.

明白吗？

Okay?

所以，处理一个问题。

So to deal with a problem.

在这个案例中，霍华德的问题是他的女友，她总是抱怨各种事情，他利用这本书的建议来应对她。

In this case, Howard's problem was his girlfriend who, was always complaining about things, and he used the the the advice in this book to deal with her.

你可能会觉得霍华德这么说女友有点无礼，把她视为需要解决的问题。

You could say that's kind of a rude thing for Howard to say about his girlfriend, that he saw her as just a problem that needed to be deal needed to be dealt with.

不过，他确实是这么说的。

But, anyway, that's what he said.

我们来看看。

Let's see.

霍华德在谈到读这本书时还说：'我发现自己心不在焉，没听进去他在说什么。'

Howard also said, when he was talking about reading the book, he said, I found myself turning off and not tuning in to what he was saying.

明白了吗？

Okay?

我发现自己心不在焉，根本没听进去他在说什么。

I found myself turning off and not tuning in to what he was saying.

所以第一个状态是‘关闭’。

So the first one is to turn off.

就是‘关闭’。

To turn off.

我们都知道可以关电视、关灯、关收音机，或者开收音机之类的。

Now we know that you turn off a television, you turn off a light, you turn off a radio, or turn on a radio, whatever.

但这里的‘关闭’指的是你注意力涣散。

But turn off here means that you lose concentration.

懂了吗？

Okay?

就好像你的脑袋是台电视机，你把它关了就不再听讲，注意力完全分散了。

So it's as if your head is a TV and you turn it off and you stop listening, lose concentration.

比如说，如果某件事很无聊，你可能会走神。

So for example, if something is boring, you might turn off.

对吧？

Yeah?

意思就是停止集中注意力。

Meaning stop concentrating on it.

不再关注它。

Stop focusing on it.

对吧？

Yeah?

走神。

To turn off.

举个例子，如果你正在上一节非常无聊的英语课，老师没完没了地讲现在完成时。你知道的，现在完成时主要用于指代在一个未完成的时间段内结束的动作，这个时间段与现在相关，但可能在过去开始也可能没有，可能持续到现在也可能没有。

For example, if you're in a very boring English lesson and your teacher is going on and on and on about the present perfect tense, You know, the present perfect tense is essentially used to refer to actions which finished in an unfinished period of time, that's connected to now, but which may or may not have been started in the past and may or may not be continuing in the present.

如果你在那样的英语课堂上，估计会觉得非常无聊，我猜你会走神。

And if, you know, if you're in that English lesson, it's probably very boring and you'd turn off, I expect.

是的。

Yeah.

总之，霍华德接下来用的表达是：我发现自己开始走神，没在听他说话。

Anyway, the next expression that Howard used there was, I found myself turning off and not tuning in to what he was saying.

‘tune in to something’的意思是集中注意力去听、去关注某事。

To tune in to something to tune in to something means to to focus on it, to listen to it, to concentrate on it.

当你使用收音机时，需要调到某个频率才能找到电台。

Now when you're using a radio, you tune the radio into a frequency in order to find a radio station.

你调整频率后就能找到那个电台。

So you kind of do that and then you find the radio station.

这也叫‘tune in’。

That's to tune in as well.

如果你把注意力集中在某人说的话上，你也可以‘tune in to’他们说的话。

Now if you're focusing your focusing yourself on what someone is saying, You can tune in to what they're saying as well.

意思就是你全神贯注地听。

It means you concentrate, you focus on it.

明白吗？

Okay?

霍华德还说了另一件事，他说，这是本小妞书。

Another thing that Howard said was, he said, it's a chicks book.

这是本小妞书。

This is a chicks book.

这里的关键词是chick（小妞），这是男性对女性的称呼。

Now the the word there is a chick, and a chick is a word that men use for a woman.

懂吗？

K?

所以有时候男人谈论女人时，会称她们为chicks（小妞们）。

So sometimes when men are talking about women, we call them chicks.

实际上女性并不太喜欢这个称呼。

And women don't really like it, actually.

我认为很多女性觉得chick这个词有点粗鲁，因为chick本意是小鸡。

I think that many women think the word chick is a bit rude because a chick is is like a baby chicken.

我不确定为什么这个词会显得粗鲁，但我想可能是因为有些女性觉得被称作'chick'带有居高临下、贬低或某种负面意味。

I don't know if I don't really know why it's rude, but I guess it's because, you know, some women think that it's patronizing or demeaning or negative in some way to be called a chick.

总之，这是男性有时用来指代女性的词汇，但带有一定的负面色彩。

So, anyway, it's a word that men sometimes use to refer to women, but it's it's kind of a negative word.

这是个非正式用语，很多女性都不喜欢这种称呼。

It's it's an informal word, and many women don't like it.

比如女权主义者就特别反感这个词。

Like feminists, for example, really don't like it.

她们就不喜欢被叫作'chicks'。

They don't like to be called chicks, for example.

明白吗？

Okay?

一本给娘们看的书。

A chicks book.

还有什么问题？

What else?

霍华德又聊起了他的女朋友，说她总是抱怨、发牢骚、喋喋不休地讲些事情，还不停地呻吟。

Howard also was talking about his girlfriend again, and he said that she was always complaining, whinging, going on about stuff, and moaning.

明白吗？

Okay?

现在说说'发牢骚'、'喋喋不休'和'呻吟'，这些都是我们用来描述抱怨的词汇。

Now whinging, going on about stuff, and moaning, they're all words that we use to describe complaining.

它们都意味着抱怨。

They all mean complaining.

对吧？

Yeah?

所以我女朋友总是对她的老板发牢骚。

So my my girlfriend was always whinging about her boss.

'发牢骚'的意思就是她总是抱怨她的老板。

Whinging means she was always complaining about her boss.

对吗？

Right?

她总是喋喋不休地谈论她的老板。

She was always going on about her boss.

这意味着她总是在抱怨她的老板。

It would mean she was always complaining about her boss.

对吧？

Yeah?

还有抱怨，对某事抱怨，也意味着对此发牢骚。

And moaning, to moan about something, also means to complain about it.

明白吗？

Alright?

所以霍华德还说，不要给她的问题提供解决方案，只要支持她就好。

And so Howard also said, don't offer solutions to her problems, just back her up.

支持某人意味着站在某人一边。

To back someone up means to support someone.

明白吗？

Okay?

所以支持你的女朋友意味着通过理解和倾听来支持她。

So back up your girlfriend means just support your girlfriend by understanding her and listening to her.

明白了吗？

Okay?

霍华德还说了很多这样的话，不知怎么的，都是霍华德说的。

Another thing Howard said a lot of this is what Howard said for some reason.

我不知道他是不是比其他人说得更多。

I don't know if he spoke more than everyone else.

但他还说过，这是2000年还是哪一年的畅销书。

But another thing he said was, it was the best selling book of 2000 and whatever.

2000年还是哪一年。

2000 and whatever.

所以‘哪一年’是个很有用的词。

So whatever there is the useful word.

霍华德在这里的用法是，他知道这本书是2000年还是哪一年的畅销书。

And the way that Howard used it here is that he knew that it was the best selling book in in one of the years in, like, 2000 and something.

对吧？

Right?

2001年或2002年之类的。

2001 or 2002 or something.

但他用了'whatever'这个词，因为他其实不知道具体是哪一年。

But he used the word whatever because actually he didn't know which year it was exactly.

所以就是2000年左右的某一年。

So it's kind of 2000 and whatever.

'whatever'这个词通常用在你不清楚、信息不重要、不在乎具体内容或不介意某事的情况下。

And whatever really is used when you don't know or when the information is not important or if you don't care what the information is or if you don't mind about something.

这是个非常实用的词。

And it's a very useful word.

比如你可以说'whatever'来表示'我无所谓'。

So for example, you can say whatever to mean I don't mind.

对吧？

Yeah?

我无所谓。

I don't mind.

比如有人问你，今晚想做什么？

So if someone says to you, what do you want to do tonight?

你可以说，哦，随便。

You can say, oh, whatever.

意思就是，我无所谓。

And that means, I don't mind.

你想做什么我都行。

I'll I'll do whatever you want to do.

在这种情境下，'随便'可以指代任何事。

Whatever means anything in that situation.

另一个例子是，'随便'也可以表示一种粗鲁的'我不在乎'。

Another example might be that whatever means I don't care in a rude way.

比如说，老师或家长对孩子生气时可能会说，告诉过你别那么做。

So for example, if, like, a teacher or a parent is is angry with his child, he might say, told you not to do that.

如果孩子没礼貌，她可能会说'哦，随便吧'

And if the child is rude, she would say, oh, whatever.

'随便'的意思就是我不在乎

And whatever means I don't care.

明白吗？

Yeah?

我告诉过你别那么做

I told you not to do that.

哦，随便吧。

Oh, whatever.

闭嘴。

Shut up.

这是一种典型的伦敦粗鲁青少年会说的话。

It's a kind of typical thing that a sort of rude teenager from London would say.

随便。

Whatever.

意思是，我不在乎。

Meaning, I don't care.

是啊。

Yeah.

没错。

Right.

好的。

Okay.

所以无所谓。

So whatever.

让我们看看。

Let's see.

霍华德又说，男同性恋通常更懂得这类事情，我认为。

Howard, again, said, gay men are usually more in touch with kind of, you know, that sort of thing, I think.

不是吗？

Aren't they?

我认为这对学习英语的人来说是个绝佳的例句。

Now I think that's a great sentence for someone who's learning English.

我真的非常认同，因为霍华德那句话本质上就是说男同性恋者更了解这方面。

I really, really do because really what what Howard essentially said in that sentence was gay men are more in touch with that.

对吧？

Yeah?

但他用了太多额外的修饰词，加了好多废话就为了让句子变长。

But he used so many little extra bits, so many extra words just to make the sentence longer.

所以不是简单说'男同性恋者更了解这个'，而是说'男同性恋者通常更了解那种，你知道的，那种事情，我觉得，是吧？'

So it wasn't just gay men are gay men are in touch with that, but gay men are usually more in touch with kind of, you know, that sort of thing, I think, aren't they?

我觉得这个句子简直精妙绝伦。

And I think that's a brilliant sentence.

如果你在学英语，这正是你该模仿的句型。因为当你不确定要说什么，或者想让句子变长时，就可以用这些'通常'、'那种'、'你知道'、']'那种事情'、'我觉得'、'是吧'之类的废话来填充。

If you're learning English, that's exactly the kind of sentence that you you can aim to use because it basically is when you don't really know what to say or if you want your sentence to to be longer, you could just use all of these extra little words like usually and kind of and you know and that sort of thing and I think and aren't they.

所以这些都是可以加进去的，就像流利度填充词。你会发现母语者在不确定自己观点时，就经常-会使用这些--

So all of those are extra, like, fluency expressions that you can put in, and you find that native speakers use those sorts of expressions all the time when they are not sure about what they're saying, for example.

所以我真的建议你开始尝试使用一些词汇，比如‘通常’、‘某种’、‘有点’、‘我认为’、‘不是吗’、‘他是不是’、‘它是不是’等等。

So I really recommend that you start trying to use things like usually, sort of, kind of, I think, aren't they, isn't he, isn't it, and so on.

非常棒。

Really good.

如果你对比英语学习者和母语者的区别，通常区别就在于母语者会使用这类表达。

If you listen to the difference between someone learning English and a native speaker, often the difference is that native speakers use that kind of language.

所以回听一下对话。

So listen back to the conversation.

对吧？

Right?

注意听那些模糊表达的词汇，比如‘有点’、‘某种’、‘我认为’、‘不是吗’、‘通常’，看看你是否也能开始使用它们。

And listen for those bits of vague language, like kind of, sort of, I think, aren't they, usually, and see if you can start using them as well.

这会让你的表达听起来更流利。

It makes you sound more fluent.

明白吗？

Okay?

但这里的语言点是霍华德说的，男同性恋通常更了解这类事情。

But the the the language point there is that he Howard said, gay men are usually more in touch with that sort of thing.

所以'to be in touch with something'在这里的意思是了解自己的感受。

So to be in touch with something means in this case, it's to be in touch with your feelings.

这意味着你清楚自己的感受。

And this means that you know your feelings.

你理解自己的感受。

You understand your feelings.

你与自己的情绪有更多联系。

You're you're more connected to your emotions.

明白吗？

Okay?

我们通常说女性更了解自己的感受。

And we usually say that women are more in touch with their feelings.

懂了吗？

Okay?

他们清楚自己的感受。

They know what they're feeling.

他们比直男更理解自己的情绪。

They they understand their emotions more than, for example, straight men.

我们也可以说男同群体同样与自己的感受保持连接。

And we also might say that gay men are in touch with their feelings too.

他们似乎更愿意谈论自己的情感。

They seem to talk about their emotions.

举例来说，他们似乎比直男更理解自己的感受和情绪。

They seem to understand their feelings and emotions more than straight men, for example.

而直男可能对讨论感受会感到些许不适，他们或许更倾向于不深入探讨自己的情感。

And straight men might be a little bit more uncomfortable about discussing their feelings, and they prefer to perhaps, you know, not talk about their feelings in a lot of depth.

他们可能更愿意去玩——比如PlayStation3之类的游戏机。

And they might prefer to play, I don't know, PlayStation three or something.

是啊。

Yeah.

其实我很喜欢PlayStation三。

I love PlayStation three, actually.

总之接下来又是关于霍华德的事，不知为何全是霍华德。

Anyway so the next thing is that Howard again, it's all Howard for some reason.

这次他说，这有点含糊不清。

And this time he said, it's a bit wishy washy.

有点含糊不清。

It's a bit wishy washy.

现在他在谈论这本书，这是一个批评。

Now he's talking about the book, and it's a criticism.

如果说某事物含糊不清，意思是它不够明确，模棱两可。

And if something is wishy washy, it means it's not very clear, it's unclear.

不够精确。

It's imprecise.

很模糊。

It's vague.

明白吗？

Okay?

所以如果某件事含糊不清，就意味着它有点模糊、不精确、不太清晰。

So if something's wishy washy, it means it's kind of vague, unprecise, not very clear.

对。

Yeah.

好的。

Okay.

最后，我说让我们看看。

And finally, I said let's see.

而且尼克也说了这个，一个岳母。

And and Nick said this as well, a mother-in-law.

一个岳母。

A mother-in-law.

然后我说，别跟我提岳母的事。

And I said, don't talk to me don't talk to me about the mother-in-law.

我正在看足球比赛。

I'm watching football.

明白吗？

Okay?

而你的岳母就是你妻子的母亲。

And your mother-in-law is your wife's mother.

对吧？

Right?

或者如果你是女性，那就是你丈夫的母亲。

Or if if you're a woman, your husband's mother.

所以法律上的亲属指的是你丈夫或妻子那边的家庭成员。

So in law refers to members of your family on your husband or wife's side.

因此你可能有岳母、岳父、姐夫/妹夫、嫂子/弟媳等等。

So you can have a mother-in-law, a father-in-law, a brother-in-law, a sister-in-law, basically.

清楚了吗？

Okay?

所以在法律上，你的婆婆。

So in law, your your mother-in-law.

是的。

Yeah.

这就是霍华德、尼克和我之间的对话内容。

So that's it for the conversation between Howard and Nick and myself.

再次提醒，别忘了你可以在网页上阅读所有带定义的语言文本。

Again, don't forget you can read all of that language printed on the web page with definitions.

那显然是teacherluke.podomatic.com。

That's obviously teacherluke.podomatic.com.

另外，我建议你回顾原始对话。

Also, I recommend that you go back to the original conversation.

再听一遍。

Listen to it again.

多听几遍，因为你听得越多，就越能理解和听清。

Listen to it a few times because the more you listen to it, the more you will be able to understand and and hear.

而且，这是母语者之间非常自然流畅的对话，你可以通过聆听、理解、模仿并开始运用这些表达来提升英语口语。

And, it's a very good natural conversation between native speakers, and it's something that you can listen to, understand, copy, and start using, when you're speaking English.

我强烈建议你这样做。

I highly recommend that you do that.

接下来你将听到的对话是我和两位女士之间的交流，因为我认为需要平衡双方观点。

Now the next conversation you're going to hear is between me and two women because I think I thought that I needed a balanced argument.

对吧？

Right?

所以我采访了米歇尔和雪莉这两位朋友，我们基本上是对霍华德和尼克的观点作出回应。

So I spoke to Michelle and Shirley, two of my friends, and, basically, we responded to what Howard and Nick had said.

首先我给她们播放了你们刚听过的录音，然后提出几个问题并记录她们的回答。

First of all, I played Michelle and Shirley the recording that you've just listened to, and then I asked them a few questions and got their responses.

这次对话我也是用磁带录音机录制的，而且这台设备比上次那台还要老旧。

Now I also recorded this conversation on a cassette recorder, and the cassette recorder I used this time was much older, even older than the last one.

我觉得这玩意儿大概是八十年代生产的。

I mean, I think it was, like, made in the in the eighties at some point.

对吧？

Right?

所以这是一台非常老旧的卡带录音机。

So a really old cassette recorder.

而且不幸的是，音质比上一台还要差。

And, unfortunately, the sound quality is is even worse than the last one.

尤其是有一个烦人的咔嗒声，就像咔嗒咔嗒那样。

In particular, there's an annoying clicking sound, a kind of click click click click like that.

而且音质也不完美。

And the sound quality is not perfect.

我原本在犹豫是否该把这段对话放进播客里，但我，我。

Now I was I was wondering about whether I should put this conversation on the podcast, but I've decided that I'm going to put it on.

因为尽管音质

Because even though the quality is not good, I think that the comments and the language that Michelle and Shirley have used are very good examples of English, and it's very interesting to get a response from two women.

●●●

And I also thought that often when you're listening to people speak English or when you're communicating with people in English, often the sound quality isn't perfect.

例如，当你进行电话通话、使用Skype或网络聊天室时，音质往往相当糟糕。

For example, if you're making a telephone conversation or using Skype or an Internet chat room or something, often the sound quality is quite poor.

所以我认为这对你们来说是相当真实的听力练习。

So I think it's quite a realistic bit of listening for you.

因此要练习在音质不完美的情况下进行听力训练。

So practice listening when the sound quality isn't perfect.

这有点像，你知道，当你给别人打电话时的情形。

It's a bit like, you know, when you're calling somebody on the telephone.

那时音质通常也很差，所以你必须真正练习在音质不佳时听懂英语。

Often the sound quality is bad then, so you have to really practice listening to to English even when the sound quality is bad.

明白吗？

Okay?

现在你们将听到米歇尔、雪莉和我讨论《男人来自火星，女人来自金星》，以及霍华德和尼克的评论。

So now you're going to listen to Michelle and Shirley and me talking about men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and talking about Howard and Nick's comments.

我为音质问题道歉，但我认为这对你们是很好的练习。

I apologize for the sound quality, but I think it is good practice for you.

那就这样吧。

So there you go.

当然你可以多听几遍，我会把整个对话都打出来放在网页上，这样你就能全部阅读了。

You can listen to it several times, of course, and I will type out the whole conversation on the web page so you can read it all.

我这样做非常慷慨，对吧？

Now that's very generous of me, isn't it?

尤其是我做这些还没拿报酬。

Especially since I'm not being paid for this.

但我理解你会想要阅读他们发表的所有评论，尤其是当你难以理解时。

But I understand that you will want to read all of those those comments that they make and especially if it's difficult for you to understand.

所以我会把整个对话打出来。

So I will type the whole conversation out.

不客气。

You're welcome.

嗯。

Yeah.