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您现在收听的是卢克的英语播客。
You're listening to Luke's English podcast.
如需更多信息，请访问 teacherluke.wordpress.com。
For more information, visit teacherluke.wordpress.com.
大家好。
Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
欢迎来到卢克英语播客的又一期节目。
Welcome to another episode of Luke's English podcast.
这一期呢，我打算即兴给你们讲个故事。
In this one, I'm just gonna try and improvise a story to you.
对吧？
Right?
我以前也做过类似的事情。
So I've done this kind of thing before.
之前有一集叫《粉红大猩猩》，我当时完全即兴编了个故事，看能不能把它扯得又长又怪、疯狂又傻气，说不定还挺好笑。
There was an episode a while ago called the pink gorilla episode where I just tried to make up a story off the top of my head and see if I could sort of make it long and weird and crazy and a bit stupid and maybe funny.
我当时就想，这回听众会怎么反应呢？
And I thought, oh, I wonder how this is gonna go down.
说不定大家根本接受不了这种内容。
Maybe my listeners are not gonna really get this.
他们可能听不懂。
They might not understand.
也可能觉得听这个对学英语没什么帮助。
They might not see the value in listening to it for their English.
但我还是发了，结果没想到，这集反而成了最受欢迎的之一。
But I posted it anyway, and, that actually has become one of the most popular episodes.
我经常收到听众留言，说：再讲一个这样的故事吧。
And I often get messages from people saying, do another one of those stories.
所以我就打算这么做了。
And so that's what I'm gonna do.
这可不是粉红大猩猩故事的续集。
This is not the sequel to the pink gorilla story.
这是个完全不同的故事。
This is a different story.
这个故事叫‘会说话的狗’。
This one's called the talking dog.
它源自一个老笑话，不过通常那个笑话一分钟就讲完了。
It's based on a on a on a on an old joke, but usually the joke lasts about one minute.
我想试试看能不能把它拉长到三十分钟左右，具体能有多长，咱们走着瞧吧。
I'm gonna see if I can make it last for something in the region of thirty minutes, but we'll see.
我自己也不太确定这个故事会往哪儿发展。
I don't really know where I'm gonna go with this story.
我脑子里大概有个框架了。
I've got a basic structure in my head.
我不太确定这故事会往哪儿发展。
I don't know where exactly it's gonna go.
所以我直接开讲了，边讲边编。
So I'm just gonna start telling the story, and I'm gonna make it up as I go along.
你这一集的任务就是专心听，尽量跟上情节，试着理解整个故事。
Your task for this episode, is just to listen and just to try and follow, try and keep up with the story, just try and understand it all.
那笑点在哪呢？
And where is the punchline?
笑点到底在哪儿？
Where's the punchline?
通常笑话都有个笑点，就是结尾那句让人发笑的话。
Usually, in a joke, there's a punchline which is the kind of funny concluding line at the end of the joke.
笑话一般都挺短的。
Usually, jokes are pretty short.
就算长一点的笑话，也很少超过两分钟。
Even the long jokes don't usually go on for more than a couple of minutes.
通常呢，笑话结尾都会有个搞笑的包袱，目的就是让你笑出来。
And normally, there's a a funny line or a punch line at the end, which is supposed to make you laugh.
但我这个故事会特别长，这肯定会影响笑话的效果。
Now considering I'm I'm gonna make this story really long, that's probably going to affect the outcome of the joke.
很可能最后那个包袱并不好笑，因为讲笑话是有讲究的。
It's probably not gonna be a funny punchline because there are rules to telling jokes.
其中一个规矩是，铺垫不能太长。
One of the rules is that you don't set the, one of the rules is that the setup is not too long.
如果铺垫拖得太长，那结尾的包袱就必须特别精彩，才能压得住场面。
Because if the setup is really, really, really long, it's got to have an amazing punch line in order for it to to actually work.
所以我不指望这个笑话的结尾能有多好笑，但其实也没关系。
So I don't expect that the punchline to this joke's gonna really work, but it doesn't matter.
重点不在这儿。
That's not the point.
重点是你能听上大概三十分钟的即兴讲述，咱们这就开始吧。
The point is that you're gonna get to listen to probably about thirty minutes of kind of live storytelling, and so I think we should get started.
对。
Right.
那我们来看看。
So let's see.
有一阵子，具体多久我也记不清了，我感觉有点累。
Some time ago, an unspecific time in the past, I was feeling a bit exhausted.
你知道的。
You know?
我一直在努力教学生英语。
I'd been working hard teaching my students English.
这工作挺有意思的，但有时候也挺有压力的，尤其是当学生遇到两种情况的时候。
It's it's great fun job, but sometimes it can be a little bit demanding, especially when the students either either one of two things.
一种是学生问你很多很难的问题。
The students either ask you lots of difficult questions.
比如，'at'这个词是什么意思？
For example, what does the word at mean?
你得给他们一些特别抽象的解释。
And you have to kind of give them some extremely abstract answer.
其实‘at’这个词表达的是一种接近的感觉，但你说了也没用——如果他们连‘at’的意思都不懂，怎么可能听得懂你那些抽象的解释呢？你越解释，他们越糊涂。
Well, the word at really is a a word that expresses some kind of, proximity, and, you know, the answer never really satisfies because the answer is if they don't understand the word at, they're not gonna understand the abstract answer, the act abstract explanation of the word act at.
你看，我这工作里头经常陷在这种绕来绕去的困境里，时间一长，真容易累垮。
So you can see the kind of knots and things that I get tied up in in my job, and sometimes it it gets you a bit exhausted.
人真的会耗尽的。
You can burn out.
我当时就想，得请个假，不然非得撑不住了。
And I thought, I need a week off because otherwise, I'm gonna burn out.
于是我就请了一周假，打算去乡下走走。
And so I took a week off, and I thought, I'm gonna go out into the countryside.
我租了辆车，开车去了乡下，那感觉真不错。
So I rented a car, and I drove out into the countryside, which was very nice.
到处都是绿意，田野、树木、树篱，天空、阳光，空气也特别清新。
Lots of greenery everywhere, fields, trees, hedges, the sky, the sun, fresh air.
那真是特别美好。
It was it was lovely.
简直太棒了。
It was fantastic.
到处都是小动物跑来跑去，鸟儿在树上唱歌，蜜蜂和黄蜂在空中飞来飞去。
Lots of little animals running around everywhere, the birds singing in the trees, bees and wasps and things flying around.
蜜蜂还行。
Bees are okay.
它们是好人，但黄蜂就不一样了。
They're they're the good guys, but wasps are are not.
它们是坏蛋。
They're evil.
我千方百计避开黄蜂。
So I tried to avoid wasps at all costs.
这话说得还挺押韵。
That's that rhymed.
这本来不是我想说的，但我还挺喜欢的。
That wasn't intended, but I quite liked it anyway.
一定要尽量避开黄蜂。
Try to avoid wasps at all costs.
这话听着倒像广告语。
That sounds like it could be an advertising slogan.
我不明白为啥有人会拿‘避开黄蜂’来做广告。
I don't know why people would be advertising that, advertising the avoidance of wasps.
我觉得根本没必要专门宣传这个。
I don't think it's necessary to advertise it.
根本不用大张旗鼓地提醒大家，人人都知道该躲着黄蜂。
You don't need to make public announcements to suggest that people avoid wasps because people naturally know that they should avoid wasps.
我现在说了太多次‘黄蜂’了，听起来都怪怪的，尤其是结尾那个‘ps’音，黄蜂。
I've said the word wasps so many times now that it's starting to sound ridiculous, especially the sps bit at the end, wasps.
听这段的有些人，可能根本不知道黄蜂是什么。
Some of you listening to this probably don't know what wasps are.
黄蜂。
Wasps.
我真没想到，‘黄蜂’这个词听起来这么滑稽，不过这跟前面的故事其实没关系。
I can't believe how ridiculous the word wasps sounds, but, anyway and this isn't really related to the story.
这只是个突然跑题的话题。
This is just a random tangent.
黄蜂属于昆虫，身上是黄黑相间的颜色。
But wasps are like insects, and they're yellow and black.
有些人不太了解，可能会把黄蜂当成蜜蜂，觉得它们是一回事。
Some kind of uneducated people might think that they're bees, that bees and wasps are the same thing.
其实不是的。
They're not.
蜜蜂是益虫。
Bees are good guys.
黄蜂是害虫。
Wasps are bad guys.
为什么蜜蜂是好人呢？
Why are bees good guys?
因为它们会酿蜂蜜，嗯，对，它们会酿蜂蜜。
It's because they make honey, and and, well, they they make honey.
另外，它们尾巴上有刺，但蜜蜂只有一根刺。
Also, they have a sting in their tail, but bees only have one sting.
所以它们用那根刺蜇人之后就会死掉。
So they use that sting and then die.
所以它们其实并不常使用蜇刺。
So they they don't really use the sting very often.
但黄蜂不一样，它们不产蜂蜜，所以对我们来说也没什么实际用处。
But wasps, well, they don't make honey, so they're not really offering us much.
而且它们尾部有刺，可以反复使用。
And, they've got a sting in their tail as well, which they can use over and over and over again.
所以相比蜜蜂，它们更有可能蜇你。
So they're much more likely to sting you than a bee.
不过黄蜂也不是一无是处。
Now wasps are not entirely bad.
它们其实也有好处，能帮助维持生态平衡，你知道的。
They're also kind of good as well because they they actually help to regulate the the the, the environment.
你知道吧？
You know?
它们会吃那些破坏你花园里花草的害虫，所以也不能说它们全都是坏的。
They eat, insects that eat that, kill your your your flowers in your garden and stuff, so they're not all bad.
不过说到底，这故事本来也不是讲蜜蜂和黄蜂的。
Anyway, this is not a story about bees and wasps.
虽然我可能会在这一集里，找个机会再把蜜蜂和黄蜂扯回来。
Although I might try and bring back the bees and wasps into this episode in some way.
但反正呢，我当时就是开车在乡下转悠。
But, anyway, I was basically just driving around in the countryside.
那感觉特别好。
It was very nice.
就那么开着车，特别放松。
Just driving along, just relaxing.
你知道吗？车窗全开着，听着鸟儿唱歌，吹着新鲜的风。
You know, I had the windows down and everything, just sort of listening to the sound of the birds singing, the fresh air.
当然，我开车时往大气里排了不少二氧化碳，不过算了，别管这个了。
Obviously, I was I was pumping lots of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere out of the back of the car, but never mind that.
我正开着车，看见路边立着一块牌子，上面写着：会说话的狗出售。
And I was driving along, and I saw by the side of the road a sign, and the sign said talking dog for sale.
会说话的狗出售。
Talking dog for sale.
我继续开车，心里还想着：会说话的狗出售？
And I kept driving, and I thought talking dog for sale.
真没想到。
Wow.
这事儿挺有意思。
That's interesting.
首先，我根本不知道狗还会说话。
First of all, I didn't realize that dogs could talk.
这事儿我还是头一回听说。
That's that's news to me.
据说真有一只狗会说话，就在那个农场里，而且还在卖。
And apparently, there is a there is a dog that can talk, it's there in that farm, and it's for sale.
于是我决定掉头回去。
So I decided I'd turn around.
我把车停下来，在路上来了个三段式掉头。
So I stopped the car and did a a three point turn in the road.
我当然仔细看了后视镜，确保不会撞上别的车。
Obviously, I checked my mirrors carefully and made sure that, you know, I wasn't gonna crash into another car.
掉头之后，我又开回了那个农场，心想：得去看看这事儿到底是不是真的。
And I turned around, and I went back to the farm, and I thought, I'm gonna visit this farm.
我想弄清楚这只会说话的狗到底是怎么回事，说不定真考虑买下来，毕竟人家明摆着在卖。
I'm going to, find out about this talking dog and possibly, think about purchasing it because apparently it's for sale.
这整个事儿准能做成卢克英语播客史上最蠢的一集。
And the whole thing is gonna make for a really, really, stupid, episode of Luke's English podcast.
我之所以这么做，就只是为了这个原因。
That's the only reason I'm doing this.
我跑去调查这只会说话的狗，纯粹是因为它能给我提供点播客素材。
I'm only gonna investigate the this this talking dog for sale just because it might then give me something to talk about on the podcast.
于是我开车到了农场，走到农舍门口，敲了敲门，心想：得跟农夫聊聊。
So I drove down into the farm and got to the farmhouse, and I knocked on the door, and I thought, I'm gonna I'm gonna speak to the farmer.
我想弄清楚到底是怎么回事。
I'm gonna find out.
我要去看看那只狗。
I'm gonna check out the dog.
得问问它卖多少钱。
I'm gonna see how much it costs.
说不定还能砍砍价。
Maybe I'm gonna negotiate.
我会跟他砍价，尽量压低价格，毕竟会说话的狗肯定不便宜。
I'm gonna haggle with him, try and bring the price down, because I imagine a talking dog is gonna cost a lot of money.
我的意思是，我觉得所谓的会说话的狗，其实就是一只叫起来像在说话的普通狗。
I mean, I I I reckon probably that a talking dog it's probably just a dog that barks and it sounds like it's saying something.
你懂的吧。
You know?
它可能就是叫的时候，听起来像在说点什么，但具体说什么我也说不准。
It's probably a dog that goes I don't know what what what would it say.
它大概就是一叫，听起来像在说‘嘿’之类的。
It's probably a dog that just, you know, when it barks, it probably sounds like it's going, you know, hey.
嘿。
Hey.
反正就是这种感觉。
Or something like that.
当然，狗不可能真会说‘嘿’。
Not that a dog would say, hey.
香肠。
Sausages.
也许是香肠吧。
Maybe sausages.
我不确定。
I don't know.
这根本不是会说话的狗，可能就是个噱头。
It's probably just not really a talking dog, but just some kind of gimmick.
后来农夫终于走到门口，我跟他打了声招呼。
And eventually, the farmer arrived at the door, and and I said to him, hello.
你是农夫吗？
Are you the farmer?
他说，是的。
And he said, yes.
对。
Yes.
是我。
I am.
我想你是来找我的吧。
I suppose you're here to to I suppose you're here.
等等，农夫。
Wait a minute, farmer.
你难道不该有农夫的声音吗？
Shouldn't you have a farmer's voice?
你不该用和我一模一样的声音说话。
You shouldn't just speak in the same voice as me.
农夫一听，哦，对啊。
And the farmer went, oh, yeah.
我想也是。
I suppose that's right.
我确实应该用点农夫的口吻说话。
I should probably speak like some kind of farmer.
我就问他了，这口音你得一直保持到故事结束吗？
And I said to him, are you gonna have to keep up that accent for the rest of the story?
我想是的，卢克。
I suppose I am, Luke.
没错。
Yes.
这大概就是个有点儿农民腔的口音。
Now this is the this is the accent of a farmer vaguely.
就是那种，你知道的，西南部乡村地区的口音，因为好多农民都来自这儿。
It's the sort of it's the sort of, you know, like, Southwest West Country kind of accent because lots of farmers come from this part of the country.
明白吗？
Alright?
我就跟他说，行吧。
And I said to him, okay.
没问题。
That's fine.
没问题。
That's fine.
你可以用这个嗓音说话，但这样可能会限制你在这段故事里的参与度，因为我怕自己没法长时间保持这个口音。
You can speak in that voice, but, it might limit your involvement in this story because I'm not sure I can I can keep doing that accent for for a long time?
我只能断断续续地模仿，说久了口音就越来越走样，根本不像真的口音了。
I I can only do it in short bursts because the the longer I speak like that, the the worse the accent becomes and the more it just doesn't sound like a real accent.
听起来就像是我硬编出来的一种怪腔怪调。
It just sounds like some kind of weird version of an accent that I'm creating.
不过算了，农夫先生。
But anyway, mister farmer.
对。
Yes.
行吧。
Okay.
所以我这次来是有原因的，那农夫就说：‘我想你是冲着那只会说话的狗来的吧。’
So, I've I've come here, for a reason, and the farmer said, I suppose you've come here about this talking dog.
我说得对吧？
Am I right?
我跟他说：是的。
And I said to him, yes.
没错。
That's right.
你怎么会知道？
How did you know?
他说：因为人们来这儿，就为了这事儿。
He said, well, that's the only reason people come here.
一般人的情况是，他们在乡下开车兜风，只是厌倦了工作。
People peep what generally happens is people people are driving around in the countryside because they're they're a bit tired of their job job.
你还好吗？
Are you alright there?
这个词你说得有点吃力，是吧？
You're having trouble with that word, aren't you?
我在这儿。
Here I am.
工作。
Job.
工作。
Job.
我不知道。
I don't know.
我不知道该怎么用这个口音说这个词，但我还是得试试。
I don't know how to say that word in this accent, but I'm gonna do it anyway.
人们会开车到乡下转转，就是因为工作有点累了。
People drive around in the countryside because they're they're a bit tired of their job.
对吧？
Right?
干得漂亮。
Well done.
非常感谢。
Thanks a lot.
他们总是开车经过我的农场，看到那个牌子，显然那是你做的。
And and and they they invariably drive past my farm, and they notice the sign, which obviously you've done.
然后他们就会进来，想看看这只会说话的狗。
And they come in here, and they they wanna see this talking dog.
你也是因为这个来的吗？
Is that is that the case for you?
是的。
Yeah.
我确实就是这么遇到的。
That that's exactly what's happened to me.
太神奇了。
That's amazing.
对。
Right.
那我们开始吧。
So let's get to it.
来吧，农场主先生。
Let's get to it, mister Farmer.
好吧。
Alright then.
好吧。
Alright then.
我们开始吧。
Let's get to it.
是的。
Yeah.
行。
Fine.
我想你大概想知道它在哪儿。
I suppose you wanna know where it is.
是的。
Yes.
没错。
Exactly.
这只会说话的狗在哪？
Where is this talking dog?
我在哪儿能见到它？
Where can I see it?
我真想亲眼看看，一只家养动物居然能交流，这太神奇了。
I can't wait to discover the amazingness of of an animal, a domestic animal that is able to communicate.
我不知道它说的是哪种语言。
I I don't know which language it speaks.
你能告诉我它说的是哪种语言吗？
Can you tell me which which language it speaks?
是的。
Yeah.
当然了，卢克。
Of course, Luke.
我这就告诉你。
I I'll tell you that.
这根本不是问题。
That's that's no problem.
这本来就是交易的一部分。
That's, all part of the transaction.
是的。
Yeah.
他当然说英语。
He speaks English, of course.
他的英语说得特别好。
He speaks excellent English.
他非常流利。
He's he's very fluent.
太棒了。
Well, brilliant.
好的。
Okay.
那我来问你个问题。
So here's the question then.
它在哪儿？
Where is it?
我来告诉你它在哪儿，Luke。
Well, I'll I'll tell you where it is, Luke.
要我告诉你吗？
Shall I?
好啊。
Yes.
这主意不错。
That would be a good idea.
好的。
Alright.
那我现在就开始做。
Then I'll I'll I'll I'll start doing that now.
对。
Yes.
我觉得你现在就该开始做了。
I think you should start doing that now.
那就这样吧。
Right then.
好吧。
Okay.
你现在到了农舍这里。
So here you are at the farmhouse.
对吧？
Right?
是的。
Yes.
很好。
Good.
我知道，因为我看得见，那儿明明写着‘农舍’呢。
I know I know that because I can see it, and it says farmhouse, just there.
对。
Right.
好的。
Okay.
你接下来要做的，就是出来之后右转，沿着这条路一直走。
So what you're gonna do, you're gonna come out here, turn right, keep going along along the path.
对吧？
Right?
你一直往前走就行。
You keep going.
然后，你会看到一个小门。
And then, when you get to the you're gonna get to a little doorway.
明白吗？
Alright?
穿过那道门之后，你会看到一堵长长的墙，就是一堵很长的墙。
You're gonna go through that doorway, and then, you what you're gonna do there is you're gonna find a a long wall a long wall.
清楚了吗？
Okay?
继续往前走，沿着墙边一直走。
So you keep going, keep walking, keep walking along, keep going, with the wall on your side.
一直走，一直走，走到墙的尽头为止。
Keep walking, walking, walking, walking until you get to the end of the wall.
到了墙的尽头，你就转个身，绕到墙的另一头。
And then what you're gonna do is you turn around turn around, but I I mean, turn around so you you you go go around the end of the wall.
对吧？
Right?
然后你就到了墙的另一边。
And then you're on the other side of the wall.
明白吗？
Okay?
接下来你要继续往前走。
And then what you're gonna do there is you're gonna keep walking.
明白吗？
Okay?
一直走。
Keep walking.
就一直往前走，墙在你右边。
Just keep walking, walking, walking with the wall on your right.
明白吗？
Okay?
继续往前走。
And you keep going.
到那儿之后，你就回到起点了。
And what's gonna happen there is you're gonna get back to where you started from.
明白吗？
Okay?
可是，农场主先生，我为什么要这么做呢？
Why why would I do that, mister Farmer?
我的意思是，走到墙的尽头再折返回来，最后又回到原地，这有什么意义？
I mean, what's the point of just walking to the end of a wall and then coming back so I'm back where I started from?
啊，对。
Ah, yes.
你可能觉得你回到了原点，但其实你已经到墙的另一边了，不是吗？
You may think you're back where you started from, but you're on the other side of the wall, aren't you?
哦，确实如此。
Oh, yeah.
没错。
That's right.
明白了。
Okay.
所以你其实离起点很近，只是到了墙的另一边。
So you're actually very close to where you started from, but you're on the other side of the wall.
对。
Right.
所以我得绕到墙的尽头再走回来，就为了到墙的另一边？
So I have to go all the way over to the end of the wall and back just to just to get onto the other other side of the wall?
没错，卢克。
That's right, Luke.
你完全说对了。
You've got it.
你真聪明，是不是？
You're a clever lad, aren't you?
你很机灵。
You you're smart.
你平时做什么工作？
What do you do for a living?
我是一名英语老师。
I'm I'm an, I'm an English teacher.
这倒不奇怪，对吧？
Well, that figures, doesn't it?
做这个工作得聪明吗？
Do you have to be intelligent to do that?
其实也不一定，不过聪明点确实有帮助。
Well, not really, but it helps.
我觉得你肯定是那种聪明人，毕竟你听懂了我的指示。
Well, I think that you're probably one of the intelligent ones because you worked out my instructions.
一旦你到了那儿，你就到了墙的另一边。
Now once you've got to that point, you're on the other side of the wall.
你可能会注意到那边有个门，本来可以直接走，但算了。
You may notice that there is a door there which you could have used, but never mind that.
接下来你要走一条小路，就在那儿，顺着路走就行，路会穿过一片树林，一直往前走。
Now what you're gonna do is there's a little path, little path there, and you're just gonna follow the path, and it winds down through some trees, through a little wood, and you're gonna keep going.
别离开小路。
Don't stray from the path.
明白了吗？
Okay?
千万别离开小路。
Do not stray from the path.
清楚了吗？
Is that clear?
不好意思。
Sorry.
你刚说啥了？
What what what did you say?
别什么？
Don't, don't what?
别离开小路。
Don't, do not stray from the path.
抱歉。
Sorry.
别离开小路。
Do not stray from the path.
那小路到底在哪？
What's the what's the path?
看啊，卢克。
Look, Luke.
我讲话跟你不一样，因为我不是来自伦敦那儿。
I don't speak like you because I'm not from that London.
明白吗？
Alright?
我的嗓音跟你有点不一样。
I've got a slightly different voice to you.
你没必要侮辱我。
There's no need to insult me.
好的。
Okay.
我刚才说的是，别偏离这条路。
Now what I said was do not stray from the path.
对不起，农夫。
Sorry, farmer.
我知道你说话跟我有点不一样，但我真听不懂你在说什么。
I just I know I know that you speak slightly differently from me, but I don't know I don't know what you're saying.
别偏离这条路。
Do not stray from the path.
我不明白那是什么。
I don't know what that is.
好了，Luke。
Alright, Luke.
我试着用你的语气说一遍。
I'm gonna try and say it in your voice.
明白吗？
Okay?
别偏离路径。
Do not stray from the path.
哦，对了。
Oh, right.
路径。
The path.
好。
Okay.
所以我得沿着路走。
So I should keep to the path.
没错，Luke。
That's right, Luke.
别进森林，里面全是蜘蛛。
Do not walk into the forest because there are spiders in there.
森林里有蜘蛛。
There are spiders in the forest.
别进森林。
Do not walk into the forest.
明白吗？
Okay?
对。
Right.
谢谢，农夫。
Thanks, farmer.
你好像突然加了个新情节，这可不在原计划里。
You're you're you seem to be adding a new element to this story, which, wasn't planned.
没错，卢克。
That's right, Luke.
我在这故事里加了一点《指环王》那种元素，这可能会彻底改变故事的发展方向。
I'm adding a new kind of Lord of the Rings type element to this story, which, which could drastically alter the the way that the story moves forward.
我知道这本来根本不是故事里计划好的部分。
I know that this was never really, an intended part of the story.
你本来不该卷入什么《指环王》式的打蜘蛛大战。
You were never supposed to have some kind of Lord of the Rings sort of battling with spiders.
你本来不该在故事里出现那种在黑暗中打蜘蛛的《指环王》风格场景，但我还是加进去了。
You were never supposed to have a kind of Lord of the Rings style, battling with spiders in the dark scene in this story, but I'm doing it.
我就这么直接加进去了。
I'm throwing it in there.
明白吗？
Okay?
所以千万别离开小路，树林里有蜘蛛。
So just do not stray from the path because there are spiders in the wood.
行吧？
Alright?
展开剩余字幕（还有 480 条）
林子里真有蜘蛛？
There are spiders in the wood, really?
当然了，林子里当然有蜘蛛。
Well, of course, there are spiders in the wood.
这可是树林啊。
It's a wood.
里面全是树。
There are trees.
蜘蛛不就住在这种地方吗？
That's where spiders live.
这很正常。
That's normal.
我的意思是，就因为这个，我才不能离开小路？
I mean, is that the only reason I shouldn't stray from the path?
卢克，说实话，不能离开小路的原因可不止这一个，毕竟这条路才是带你去该去地方的路。
Well, Luke, to be honest, that's not the only reason you shouldn't stray from the path because, well, the path leads you to the destination you should be going to.
所以如果你离开小路，就到不了该去的地方，而且还会遇到蜘蛛。
So if you stray from the path, you won't get to where you should be going, and there are spiders.
对。
Right.
好的。
Okay.
行吧。
Alright.
那我就会一直走这条路，紧紧跟着，然后接下来会发生什么？
So I'll I'll I'll keep to the path, and I'll just follow the path, and then what happens?
对。
Right.
你沿着小路走，就会看到一条小河。
When you get to, when you follow the path, what you'll find there is there's a little there's a river.
明白吗？
Okay?
有一条河。
There's a river.
别下河。
Do not go in the river.
别下河。
Do not go in the river.
明白吗？
Okay?
对。
Right.
别下河。
Don't go in the river.
我本来就没打算下河。
I wasn't planning to go in in the river anyway.
我干嘛要下河呢？
Why would I why would I go in the river?
你说得对，卢克，但有些人一走到河边，看到那清澈见底的流水，就会想：这条路可真够远的。
Well, that's you say that, Luke, but some folks, what happens is when they get down to that river, they have one look at that the lovely crystal waters, the fresh running water of the river, and they think to themselves, oh, that path was long.
我好不容易才忍住没离开小路，去跟那些蜘蛛较劲。
I I I resisted the temptation to to to leave the path and and battle with spiders.
所以，我打算到河里好好洗个澡。
And so, I'm gonna take a little little, bath in the river.
我要离开这条路了。
I'm gonna leave the path.
我要到河里去洗个澡。
I'm gonna take a bath in in the in the river.
对不起，农场主先生。
Sorry, mister Farmer.
我又没跟上你的意思。
Again, you've lost me.
我不明白你在说什么。
I don't know what you're saying.
跟着什么？
Follow what?
沿着小路走，然后去河里洗澡。
Follow the follow the path and then take a bath in the river.
对。
Right.
好吧。
Okay.
不行。
No.
我不会那么做的。
I'm not gonna do that.
你听我说。
Look.
我就想找那只会说话的狗。
I just want to find the talking dog.
明白了吗？
Okay?
别管那些什么别偏离小路、别乱跑的胡话了。
Never mind all this fantasy stuff about don't follow don't leave the path.
别下水。
Don't go into the water.
这些都别提了。
Never mind all that.
我就想找那只会说话的狗。
I just want to find the talking dog.
这就是整个故事。
That's the story.
别老想把这事扯成《指环王》或者《霍比特人》那样的。
Stop trying to make this into Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit or something.
好了，卢克。
Alright, Luke.
好吧。
Alright.
别着急，别生气。
No need to no need to get frustrated.
明白吗？
Okay?
我不知道是我说话的方式有问题，还是怎么着，老是忍不住把这事往《霍比特人》第四部上扯。
It's I don't know if it's my voice or what, but I'm I can't help making this into The Hobbit part four.
你懂我的意思吧？
You know what I mean?
总之，就是这样。
Anyway, right.
所以别下河。
So do not go into the river.
我知道这很难抗拒，但千万别这么做。
I know it's gonna be tempting, but don't do it.
明白吗？
Alright?
水看起来真美。
The water is beautiful.
清澈见底。
It's clear.
冰凉清爽。
It's fresh.
水声叮叮咚咚的，特别好听，但千万别下水。
It's it makes a lovely little trickling sound, but don't go into the water.
明白吗？
Alright?
因为一旦下去，你就会睡着。
Because if you do, then you'll fall asleep.
一睡着，就会被哥布林抓走。
You'll fall asleep, and you'll end up being kidnapped by goblins.
明白了吗？
Alright?
千万别去。
Just don't do it.
好了，农夫。
Alright, farmer.
我不会离开小路的。
Just I won't leave the path.
我不会下水的。
I won't go into the water.
我不想被小妖精抓走。
I don't wanna be kidnapped by goblins.
说实话，以前在卢克的英语播客另一集里，我就差点遇到过这种事，你可能已经忘了。
I mean, to be honest, that's nearly happened to me before in another episode of Luke's English podcast, which you might have forgotten about.
那一集叫《神秘故事》，差点就在泰晤士河边上发生了，我可不指望再碰上一次。
It was called the the mystery story, and, it nearly happened by the River Thames, and I don't count on it happening again.
行吗？
Alright?
好的，卢克。
Alright, Luke.
好吧。
Fine.
明白了。
Right.
那你不下河的话，有什么别的办法吗？
So, what do you propose then as an alternative to going into the river?
我怎么才能找到那只会说话的狗呢？
How do I get to the talking dog?
对。
Right.
嗯，那边有一座桥。
Well, there what you'll find a bridge.
那边确实有座桥，但可不是普通的桥。
There is a bridge there, but it's no ordinary bridge.
没错。
No.
这是一座死亡之桥。
This is the bridge of of doom.
天哪。
Oh god.
拜托，真的是死亡之桥。
For god's sake, the bridge of doom.
你开玩笑吧？
Are you kidding?
我没开玩笑，Luke。
I'm not kidding, Luke.
这事儿非常非常严重。
It's very, very serious.
我还以为这是个农场呢。
I thought this was a farm.
这可不是《哈利·波特》。
It's not Harry Potter.
我不在乎，卢克。
I don't care, Luke.
我只是想告诉你怎么找到那只托尔肯狗。
I'm just trying to explain to you how to find this Torquen dog.
明白吗？
Alright?
你得仔细听我的指示，因为很多路过这里的旅人，都没听我的建议，结果干了些傻事。
Now it's very important you follow my instructions carefully because a lot of people, a lot of weary travelers who come come this way, they they they don't follow my advice, and they do one of of number of things.
他们犯的错之一，我猜，就是偏离了小路。
One of the things they do wrong is let me guess, they they they stray from the path.
没错，卢克。
That's right, Luke.
是的
Yeah.
他们离开小路，就再也找不到了。
They stray from the path and they're we never see see them again.
大概是因为他们觉得无聊，就回去了。
They've it's probably because they get bored and they go home.
不是的
No.
我不这么认为，Luke。
I don't think so, Luke.
我觉得他们是被蜘蛛抓走了，然后被毒蜘蛛吸干了血。
I think that they get captured by spiders, and then all of their all of their blood is sucked out by venomous spiders.
我们不需要知道这些细节。
We don't need to know the details.
接着说第二点吧。
Just move on to the second point.
第二个常见错误是，人们会走进河里，我实在没法说得更清楚了。
The second point that people do wrong is they go into the water of the river, and I can't explain clearly enough.
千万别进河里。
Do not go into the river.
好的。
Okay.
我明白这个要点了。
I think I've got that point.
第三点是什么？
What's the third thing?
第三点是那座死亡之桥，他们答错了桥上的那些致命问题。
The third thing is that the bridge of doom that they they answer the questions of doom with the wrong answers.
天哪。
Oh my god.
那里有好多问题。
There are questions.
不好意思，农夫。
Sorry, farmer.
我能问你个问题吗？
Can I ask you a question?
这块地是你的吗？
Do you own this farm?
是的。
Yes.
是我。
I do.
那你能不能想办法，我不知道，做点什么来阻止这些事再发生？
So couldn't you maybe, I don't know, do something to stop these sorts of things happening?
你不能把那些蜘蛛除掉吗？
Couldn't you cut down the couldn't you get rid of the spiders?
你不能在河上建一座桥，让过桥的时候别搞什么考验？
Couldn't you put a bridge over the river that that that doesn't have some kind of challenge before you can get onto it?
你就不能修座小桥吗？
Can't you just put a little bridge?
不行，卢克。
No, Luke.
不行。
No.
因为这是个魔法森林，本来就是故事的一部分。
Because this is a magical forest, and it's just a part of the story.
明白吗？
Okay?
这是一则童话。
It's a fairy tale.
想过桥，就得先答对桥的问题。
You can't go over the bridge unless you answer the questions of the bridge.
好吧。
Alright.
好吧。
Okay.
那你能不能给我点提示，这些问题会是什么？
Well, can you give me an indication of what the questions are?
Luke，这正是关键，对吧？
Well, Luke, that's the thing, isn't it?
关键就在于，这些问题还没定下来。
That's the thing because, the questions have not been defined yet.
为什么呢？
Why not?
因为我还没想好要问什么，毕竟这故事是我正在写的。
Well, because I haven't decided what they are because I'm writing this story.
我们是边走边写这个故事的。
We're writing this story as we go.
我也没提前设计什么巧妙又神秘的问题，好在桥那儿问你，所以我就先留着，没固定下来。
I haven't preplanned clever questions, clever mysterious questions that could, you know, could be asked to you at the bridge, So I'm leaving it open.
事实上，我只能告诉你，问题会根据被问的人不同而变化。
In fact, all I'm gonna tell you is that the questions change depending on who is being asked.
抱歉？
Sorry?
不好意思。
Sorry.
你刚说啥？
What was that?
问题会根据被问的人不同而变化。
The questions change depending on who's being asked.
对。
Right.
我现在开始摸清你的元音发音特点了。
I'm starting to get a handle on your vowel sounds now.
我觉得你刚才说的是，问题会根据被问的人不同而变化。
I think what you said was the questions change depending on who's being asked.
没错，卢克。
That's right, Luke.
是被问到。
Asked.
不是。
No.
是被问到，对吧？
Asked, isn't it?
被问到。
Asked.
被问到。
Asked.
被问到。
Asked.
到底是哪一个？
Which one is it?
我觉得还是用‘asked’更合适。
Well, I'd say asked.
你就说‘asked’吧。
You say asked.
行吧？
Alright?
这样没问题吧？
Isn't that okay?
这样也可以，对吧？
That's alright, isn't it?
对。
Yes.
没问题。
Fine.
世界上存在不同的口音是有可能的。
It's possible for different accents to exist in the world.
没问题。
That's fine.
好的。
Okay.
行吧。
Alright.
所以你的意思是，我会被问三个问题，就是三个不一样的、专门针对我的问题，你知道的。
So you're telling me that I'm gonna be asked three questions that that that like, three questions that are different, you know, like, unique questions that apply only to me.
好的。
Okay.
行。
Fine.
我知道这回事。
I know the thing.
我看过《巨蟒与圣杯》。
I've seen Monty Python and the holy grail.
我明白了。
I get it.
行吧？
Alright?
好。
Fine.
太好了。
So good.
谢谢。
Thanks.
非常感谢，法默。
Thanks a lot, Farmer.
我现在走了。
I'm gonna go now.
好的。
Alright.
谢谢。
Thanks.
谢谢。
Thanks.
我是说，我不希望你再往这个故事里加什么幻想元素了，我先走了。
Like, I don't want you to add any more kind of, fantasy elements to this story, so I'm gonna go.
好的，法默。
Alright, Farmer.
非常感谢。
Thanks a lot.
有一件事，卢克。
One thing, Luke.
有一件事。
One thing.
你怎么知道我的名字？
How did you know my name?
现在先别管这个。
Never mind that right now.
有一件事。
One thing.
在你出发去那片魔法森林，找会说话的狗之前。
Before you leave for the forest, the magical enchanted forest on your on your adventure to find the talking dog.
有一件事，我先把这个给你。
One thing, let me hand you this.
他给了我一把瑞士军刀。
And he gave me a Swiss army pen knife.
你知道那种维多利亚风格的瑞士军刀吗？
You know those, like, Victorian ox Swiss army knives?
就是一把红色的小刀，刀片能伸缩的那种。
It's like a little red, knife where the blade comes in and out.
你明白我的意思吧？
You know what I mean?
所以你可以把它放进口袋，也不会把口袋划破。
So you you can put it in your pocket, and it doesn't, like, you know, cut your pocket.
我猜他们设计成这样，就是为了不把口袋里面弄坏。
I'm sure that's the reason they designed them like that just so that it wouldn't damage the inside of your pocket.
这种小工具挺方便的。
They're convenient little things.
童子军都用这个。
Boy scouts have them.
你可以把刀片拉出来。
You can pull the blade out.
刀片是圆弧形的，拿出来一看，真是一把漂亮的小瑞士军刀。
It's kind of, comes out round, and then you got a lovely little very attractive Swiss army knife.
他就送了我一把。
So he gave me one of them.
他说：‘卢克，这把瑞士军刀你肯定用得上。’
He said, Luke, you're gonna need this Swiss army knife.
我不太清楚你为啥非得带这个，但说不定哪天得用它来切点啥东西。
I I don't really know why you're gonna need it, but that you might need to cut something.
比如你要是迷路进了森林，这刀能帮你采蘑菇。
Maybe on maybe if you get lost in the forest, you'll need this to, help you forage for mushrooms in the forest.
明白吗？
Alright?
不过你要是真去采蘑菇，我得提醒你，千万别吃那种红白相间的蘑菇。
But I if you do forage for mushrooms, I have to tell you, I have to warn you, don't eat the the don't eat the red and white mushrooms.
明白吗？
Alright?
其他蘑菇都可以吃，就是红白的别碰。
You can eat the other mushrooms, but don't eat the red and white mushrooms.
明白吗？
Alright?
为啥不能吃？
Why why not?
为什么不行啊，农夫？
Why not, farmer?
我为啥不能吃那些红白相间的蘑菇？
Why can't I eat the red and white mushrooms?
因为我正要收它们呢。
Because I'm collecting them.
明白吗？
Alright?
那些是我的。
They're mine.
那些蘑菇是我采的，我不让你吃。
I they're my mushrooms, and I don't want you eating them.
听懂了吗？
Okay?
我采这些蘑菇是给自己留着的。
I'm I'm collecting them for myself.
另外，如果你吃了它们，可能会让你有点发疯。
Also, if you eat them, then they might make you a bit mad.
好的。
Alright.
明白了。
Okay.
所以事情就是这样吗？
Is this what's going on then?
你是那种对蘑菇特别着迷的人吗？
Are you a mushroom person?
你是不是那种会吃蘑菇的人？
Are you are you one of these people who eats mushrooms?
这或许能解释你为什么语无伦次——要是你吃的是那种让人发疯的蘑菇，那你讲的什么魔法河流，可能根本就是编的。
That might explain why you're not making any sense because if you eat mushrooms that make you go mad, maybe you're just making all this stuff up about an enchanted river.
就是这样。
That's it.
你就是个疯疯癫癫的蘑菇爱好者，对吧？
You're just a crazy mushroom head, aren't you?
没错。
Right.
谢谢您，农夫。
Thanks a lot, farmer.
谢谢您送的折叠小刀。
Thanks for the pen knife.
这东西说不定派得上用场。
That might be useful.
我现在就走，去找那只会说话的狗。
I'm gonna go now, and I'm gonna find this talking dog.
如果我觉得它值得买，而且它不光会说‘香肠’这类词，真能跟人正常对话，懂得英语的句式结构，能完整地说出一句话，那我可能会考虑买下来。
And and if I if I think it's worth purchasing, if it doesn't just if it doesn't just go sausages or something, if it doesn't just say sausages or another word, if it can actually have a conversation, if it's got some grasp over the discourse structures of English, If it can actually string a sentence together, then I might consider purchasing it.
所以，我可能还会再回来。
So you might I might come back again.
希望你真的能再回来，卢克，因为很多经过这儿的旅人，一去就再没回来过。
I hope you do come back again, Luke, because many a weary traveler who come through these parts don't come back.
所以你得牢牢沿着路走。
So make sure you stick to the path.
别进河里，回答问题的时候要答对。
Don't go in the river and answer the questions correctly.
如果你真要采蘑菇，红白相间的那些留给我，卢克。
And if you need to forage for mushrooms, leave the red and white mushrooms for me, Luke.
明白吗？
Okay?
行吧。
Fine.
谢谢您了，农夫。
Thanks a lot, farmer.
再见。
Bye.
再见。
Bye.
再见。
Bye.
再见。
Bye.
于是我赶紧离开了农夫，严格按照他的指示走，一路不停地走，沿着那条小路，走到墙边，一直走到墙的尽头，然后绕回来——明明那边有扇门可以直接过去，但我还是照着他说的做。
So I left the farmer quickly, and, and I and I I walked and followed his instructions, and I I kept walking, walking, walking, followed the little path, got down to the wall, walked all the way to the end of the wall and round again even though there was a door that I could have used, but I was just following instructions.
接着我到了墙的另一边，眼前出现了一片魔法森林，中间有一条小路贯穿其中。
And then I got to the other other side of the wall, and I could see before me, the magical enchanted forest with a path running through it.
说实话，也没多神奇。
To be honest, it wasn't that impressive.
你可能想象的是那种童话里的《指环王》风格的森林，但其实就几棵树而已。
You might be imagining some kind of fairy tale Lord of the Rings kind of forest, but it was just a few trees really.
说实话，也没多神奇。
It wasn't that impressive.
而且那儿还有一条高速公路。
And there was a motorway.
旁边就是一条车流不断的公路，把那种神秘感破坏了不少。
There was like a a highway just next to it with cars going, which ruined the mystery somewhat.
不管怎样，我走进了森林，沿着小路走，一直没离开这条路。
Anyway, I I I walked through the forest and there was a path, and I stuck to the path.
即使你听这段录音时，可能希望我离开小路，我也没走。
I didn't venture off from the path even though if you're listening to this, you probably want me to.
你大概在想，哎呀，卢克，你真该离开小路啊，搞不好就陷入什么糟糕的境地，还得跟蜘蛛搏斗。
You're probably thinking, oh, but Luke, surely you should you should venture off the path, tragically and and end up in some horrible situation where you have to battle spiders.
说不定你一不小心吃了那个红白相间的蘑菇，直接进入幻觉状态。
And, you know, you might maybe you you, by accident, eat one of the red and white mushrooms, and you might go off on some psychedelic experience.
那故事可就精彩多了。
It could be a really interesting story.
那简直太棒了。
It could be brilliant.
但说实话，我根本没打算经历什么神秘之旅，所以我就是不走偏路。
But, really, what I I I never intended to to have some kind of mystical journey, so I'm I'm just no.
我还是老老实实走大路。
I'm gonna stick to the path.
于是我沿着小路走，到了河边，看起来还不错。
So I stuck to the path, and I got to the river, and it looked alright.
我的意思是，风景挺美的。
I mean, looked quite nice.
河水确实看着干净清爽，但我还是想，算了。
The water certainly looked clean and refreshing, but I thought, no.
我要听那个农夫的劝告。
I'm gonna follow the advice of the farmer.
我不下水，因为一下去就会睡着，然后被地精抓走，还得花大价钱做特效、加CGI，故事就快跟《霍比特人》撞车了。
I'm not gonna go into the water because it's gonna make me fall asleep, and then I'll be kidnapped by by goblins, and and and then I'll have to spend lots of money on special effects, lots of CGI, and and the story will become dangerously close to the the the plot line of The Hobbit.
那可就涉嫌抄袭了，我可不想惹上这种麻烦。
And that could incur some kind of plagiarism case, and I don't want that.
新线影业肯定请了很厉害的律师。
New Line Cinema, I'm sure they've got very good lawyers.
J.R.R. 托尔金也一样，就算他已经去世了，但他的律师肯定也不容小觑。
And JRR Tolkien, he's probably got a good lawyer as well even though he's dead, but it doesn't matter.
所以我不会去抄袭《霍比特人》的剧情。
So I'm not gonna start ripping off the storyline to The Hobbit.
明白吧？
Okay?
没错。
Right.
我走到桥边，果然，这是一座魔法桥。
So I I got to the bridge and indeed indeed it was a magical bridge.
那个吃蘑菇的农夫说得居然是对的，这让我挺意外的，因为我原本以为他不过是胡编乱造，可能之前出现了幻觉。
So the the the mushroom eating farmer was actually right, which was strange because I thought that he was probably just making it up in you know, based on some hallucination he'd had.
但事实摆在眼前，这桥确实有魔法。
But no, there it was, the magical bridge.
还挺不错的。
It was it was quite nice.
它是木头做的，那种木头。
It was it was made of it was like made of wood.
我觉得是宜家的，不过是个挺好的款式。
I think it was IKEA, but it was a nice one.
像是宜家里比较贵的那种桥。
It was like one of the more expensive IKEA bridges that you can get.
好像是松木之类的，那种北欧风格的木材。
It was like made of pine or something, some other kind of Scandinavian looking wood.
真的挺好的。
It was it was nice.
这桥结实实用，功能齐全，但那儿站着个小个子男人。
It was a solid functional practical bridge, but there was a little man standing there.
一个小个子男人。
A little man.
而且，而且你可能在想，这小人长什么样啊，卢克？
And and and I I and and you're probably thinking, what did he look like, Luke?
那个小人到底长什么样？
What did the little man look like?
嗯，这小人嘛，个子确实很小。
Well, the little man, he was kind of he was well, he was little.
他个子矮，秃头，留着小胡子，脸圆圆的，看起来特别和善。
He was short, and he he was bald, and he had a mustache, and he had a friendly face, a friendly kind kind sort of round face.
说实话，他长得特别像丹尼·德维托。
To be honest, he looked a lot like Danny DeVito.
我当时就想，这该不会是那个美国演员丹尼·德维托吧？
And I thought, is that Danny is that Danny DeVito, the American actor?
就是演过《蝙蝠侠归来》的那位。
The the guy who was in Batman, Batman Returns.
他在《蝙蝠侠归来》里演了企鹅人。
He played the penguin in Batman Returns.
丹尼·德维托。
Danny DeVito.
你认识丹尼·德维托吧？
You know Danny DeVito, don't you?
他演过《双子星》，和阿诺·施瓦辛格一起的，片名挺讽刺的，叫《双子星》，因为两人简直天差地别。
He was in Twins, a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger, ironically titled Twins because they clearly were really different.
丹尼·德维托个子矮，特别搞笑，阿诺·施瓦辛格却高大严肃。
Danny DeVito's short and and and funny, and Arnold Schwarzenegger is tall and and serious.
丹尼·德维托。
Danny DeVito.
所以， basically，丹尼·德维托当时站在桥上，冲我喊：‘嘿，卢克。’
So, basically, Danny DeVito was standing at the Bridge, and he said to me, hey, Luke.
‘嘿，卢克。’
Hey, Luke.
我说：‘这声音不像你的啊。'
And I said, that doesn't sound like your voice.
我不知道你平时是怎么说话的，丹尼·德维托。
I don't know how you speak really, Danny DeVito.
所以我干脆就让你这么说话吧。
So I'm just gonna make you I'm gonna make you kinda like this.
好吧，丹尼？
Okay, Danny?
丹尼·德维托。
Danny DeVito.
我直接让你变成个意大利裔美国人了。
I I'm gonna make you Italian American already.
然后丹尼·德维托说，嘿。
So oh, and Danny DeVito said, hey.
你看。
Look.
我无所谓。
That's fine by me.
你尽管把我变成意大利裔美国人吧。
You can make me you can make me Italian American.
这可不是我平时说话的方式，不过算了。
It's not really the way I speak normally, but, hey.
这其实无所谓。
That that doesn't matter.
行吧。
Okay?
在这个故事里，你要把我设定成意大利裔美国人？
You're make me Italian American in this story?
我没意见。
That's fine by me.
好了，Danny。
Okay, Danny.
听说你要问我三个不一样的问题。
So apparently, you're gonna ask me three unique questions.
是的
Yeah.
对
Yeah.
差不多是这样
It's something like that.
没错
Yeah.
好
Okay.
我有三个问题要问你
I got three questions for you.
你得认真听，要是答错了，这桥你就别想过去
You gotta listen carefully because if you get these questions wrong, you ain't gonna get over this bridge.
明白吗
Alright?
我跟他说，你这个意大利裔美国口音模仿得真不错，虽然你平时根本不是这么说话的，丹尼·德维托。
I said to him, that is quite a good Italian American accent even though that's not normally how you speak, Danny DeVito.
为什么会这样？
Why is that?
说实话，卢克，我之所以这么说话，就是因为这是你能模仿的几种口音之一。
Well, you know, to be honest with you, Luke, to be honest with you, the reason I'm speaking like this is just because it's one of the accents that you could do.
明白吗？
Okay?
就这原因。
That's it.
唯一的理由。
That's the only reason.
这只是你能模仿的几种口音之一。
It's just one of the accents that you could do.
既然你编这个故事，那我用你拿得准的口音来说，不是挺合理的吗？
And since you're making up this story, I you know, it it makes sense for me to speak in one of the voices that you're actually able to to reproduce, don't you think?
是的
Yeah.
没错
That's true.
确实如此
That's true.
那咱们就开始吧，Danny。
So let's let's get to it, Danny.
你问吧。
Ask me these questions.
我想这些问题都是专门设计来考验我的，考验我的人性，考验我的灵魂，考验我性格最真实的一面，对吧？
I suppose these are questions which are uniquely designed to test me, to test my humanity, to test my soul, my my, you know, my my the true nature of my personality.
是这样吗？
Is that right?
是的
Yeah.
你瞧。
Look.
差不多就是那样。
It's something like that.
是的。
Yeah.
这是一种灵性、神秘的东西。
It's it's a kind of spiritual mystical thing.
你懂的。
You know?
我记得是在某本书里看到的。
You know, I read it in some book.
我想那本书叫什么来着？
I think it was called, what was it called now?
《王者之路》之类的？
The the the the the Road of Kings or something?
《王者之路》？
The Road of Kings?
可能是《魔戒》吧。
Lord of Lord of the Rings, maybe.
是的。
Yeah.
对，就是那个。
That was it.
是的。
Yeah.
那就是《魔戒》。
That was the Lord of the Rings.
是的。
Yeah.
没错，就是它。
It was, yeah.
我读过《指环王》或者《霍比特人》，反正就是些乱七八糟的东西。
I read it in, the Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit or some bullshit.
你最好别这么说，不然我可能被说成抄袭。
It's probably best that you don't say that, because I might be accused of plagiarism.
好的。
Okay.
喂。
Hey.
你瞧。
Look.
别担心。
Don't worry.
这事你别放在心上。
Don't worry about it.
得了吧。
Come on.
这不重要。
It doesn't matter.
就是个故事而已。
It's just a story.
这其实是个讽刺作品。
It's, it's a parody.
是吗？
Yeah?
这是个讽刺作品。
It's a parody.
法律会保护你的。
You'll be protected by the law.
这是关于讽刺作品的法律规定。
It's the parody laws.
明白吗？
Okay?
你会没事的。
You're gonna be fine.
好的。
Okay.
没错。
Right.
很好。
Good.
所以你懂法律，是吧，丹尼？
So you know the law, do you, Danny?
是的。
Yeah.
我懂法律。
I know the law.
是的。
Yeah.
我没事。
I'm hey.
我遵守法律。
I'm down with the law.
我懂法律，因为我经常违法。
I know the law because I break the law.
如果你要违法，就得懂法律。
If you break the law, you gotta know the law.
你得先知道法律在哪，才能去违反它。
You gotta know where the law is in order to break the that law.
你该走了，好吧。
You gotta go, okay.
这就是法律。
So there's the law.
我就把它放在这儿，然后当着它的面违反它。
I'm gonna just put it down there in front of me, and then I'm gonna break it.
所以你得懂法律，才知道怎么去违反它。
So you gotta know the law in order to know how to break the law.
好的，丹尼。
Okay, Danny.
行吧。
Fine.
你这种人，典型的纽约意大利裔黑帮分子，对吧？
You're a kind of Italian gangster, aren't you?
就是那种纽约意大利裔的黑帮分子？
In a New York Italian American gangster?
我明白了。
I get it.
但不知为啥，你偏偏在这座桥上把守。
But for some reason, you're guarding this bridge.
是的，卢克。
Yeah, Luke.
别问太多问题。
Don't ask too many questions.
明白吗？
Okay?
别问太多问题，Luke。
Don't ask don't ask too many questions, Luke.
行吧？
Alright?
好的，Danny。
Okay, Danny.
你现在说话越来越像罗伯特·德尼罗了。
You're sounding a lot more like Robert De Niro.
是的。
Yeah.
你知道为什么吗？
Well, you know why?
你知道这是为什么吗，卢克？
You know why that is Luke?
因为我看起来像丹尼·德维托。
Because I may look like Danny DeVito.
我其实是罗伯特·德尼罗，只是我在演戏时入戏太深。
I'm actually Robert De Niro, but I'm a method actor.
所以呢，这纯粹是我演技到位的表现。
So, you know, I'm, it's just my the quality of my acting.
我演得太逼真了，搞得你都觉得我像丹尼·德维托。
I'm such a good actor over here that you may think I look like Danny DeVito.
我确实是罗伯特·德尼罗，不过算了。
I'm actually Robert De Niro, but never mind.
明白吗？
Okay?
这次我是冲着奥斯卡去的，别问太多问题，卢克。
I'm looking for an Oscar on this one, so don't ask too many questions, Luke.
好的。
Okay.
对。
Right.
那你第一个问题是什么，Danny？
So what's your what's your first question for me, Danny?
好的，Luke。
Okay, Luke.
准备好了吗？
Are you ready?
这是你的第一个问题。
Here's your first here's your first question.
第一个问题。
Question number one.
好的。
Okay.
第一个问题。
Question number one.
有什么区别？
What is the difference?
现在完成时和一般过去时有什么区别？
What is the difference between the present perfect and the past simple tense?
天哪，丹尼。
Oh, for god's sake, Danny.
别问我这个问题。
Please don't ask me that.
好吧。
Okay.
我可以给你我的答案。
I can give you I can give you a a a I can give you my answer.
好了，丹尼？
Alright, Danny?
好了，我们开始吧。
Here we go.
对。
Right.
过去简单时用来表达与现在有一定距离感。
So the past simple past simple, is is used to, express some remoteness from the present.
明白吗？
Okay?
这正是过去简单时的基本特点。
That's the basic aspect of the this past simple tense.
它表达的是时间上的距离。
It expresses remoteness in time.
明白吗？
Okay?
也就是说，我们用过去简单时来描述发生在已经结束的时间段里的事情。
So that means that we use the past simple as a way of describing events that happened in finished time periods.
明白吗？
Okay?
已完成的事件，发生在已结束的时间段里。
Finished events in finished time periods.
比如，我昨天跟那个农民谈过了。
For example, I spoke to the farmer.
清楚了吗？
Alright?
我今天早上跟那个农民谈过了。
I spoke to the farmer this morning.
对吧？
Right?
今天早上已经过去了，所以用 spoke，因为是过去时。
This morning is finished, so spoke because it's past simple.
已经结束的时间段。
Finished finished time.
已完成的事件。
Finished event.
很好。
Fine.
好的。
Okay.
所以我们用它来讲故事。
So we use it to tell stories.
我去找过农夫，然后做了那件事，接着找到了桥，现在呢，我在跟你说话。
I spoke to the farmer, and then I did that, and then I found the bridge, And now, I'm I'm talking to you.
好的。
Okay.
行了。
Alright.
说实话，卢克，这还是有点让人困惑，因为你之前说你找过农夫，但那可是最近的事。
This is still slightly confusing, to be honest, Luke, because, you know, you you you mentioned that you spoke to the farmer, but that's kind of recent time.
所以现在还有一点模糊不清的地方。
So there's still a kind of gray area going on.
我也不太确定。
I'm not really sure.
动作完成了，时间也过去了。
Finished actions, finished time.
它表达的是时间上的遥远，因为指的是已经结束的时段。
It expresses remoteness in time because it's finished periods of time.
明白了吗？
Okay?
好的。
Okay.
行。
Okay.
那现在完成时呢？
And the present perfect?
好的。
Okay.
这是现在完成时。
It's the present perfect.
明白吗？
Alright?
不是现在完成时。
Not present poyfect.
喂。
Hey.
你怎么叫它都行。
You can call it you can call it whatever you want.
明白吗？
Alright?
我就叫它现在完成时，因为我来自纽约。
I'm calling it the present poyfect because I'm from New York.
明白吧？
Alright?
而且呢，我平时喝咖啡，顺便聊聊现在完成时。
And and, you know, I drink coffee and I talk about present perfect tense.
别纠结了。
Get over it.
好了。
Okay.
就是现在完成时。
It's present perfect.
现在完成时，其实就是过去发生的动作和现在之间的联系。
Present perfect is basically the combination the the connection between a past action and the present time.
对吧？
Right?
过去的行为和现在有联系，这种联系可以用好几种方式表达。
There's a connection between the past action and present time, and that connection can be expressed in a number of ways.
比如说，这可能是最近发生的事，非常近的事。
For example, it could be that it was a recent very recent events.
比如，我刚见过那个农夫。
For example, I've just seen the farmer.
明白吗？
Okay?
我刚见过那个农夫。
I've just seen the farmer.
用‘刚’这个词来强调事情发生得非常近。
Very recent event using the word just as emphasis.
明白吗？
Okay?
还有一种情况，是过去的事和现在有联系，因为那个过去的事还在继续。
Also, it could be connection between a past event and the present because the past event is still happening.
比如，我一直在讲这个故事。
For example, I've been telling this story.
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