77. 熊 vs 鲨鱼

我想你会同意的。

I think you'll agree.

现在你需要准备的首先是浅浅的小型涉水池。

Now what you're gonna need to get started off with is a shallow little wading pool.

现在你需要准备的首先是……但他说的是，你现在需要准备什么来开始呢？

Now what you're gonna need to get started off with but he says, like, now what are you gonna need to get started off with?

所以你需要准备的首先是浅浅的小型涉水池。

So what you're going to need to get started off with is a shallow little wading pool.

浅，你知道，意思是深的反义词。

Shallow, you know, it means the opposite of deep.

小，嗯，这很简单。

Little, well, it's easy.

还有一个涉水池。

And a wading pool.

涉水池有点像，你知道的，如果你有孩子，在后院天气炎热晴朗时，你可能会买一个小型涉水池或戏水池。

A wading pool is a bit like, you know, in the back garden, if you have children, if the weather's hot and sunny, you might get a little wading pool or a paddling pool.

它不够大，不能算游泳池，但足够让孩子们在水里玩耍。

It's not big enough to be a swimming pool, but it's big enough for, like, the children to play around in the water.

你只需把它放在后院，装满水，孩子们就会在里面玩，但它比游泳池小得多。

You just set it up in the back garden and you fill it full of water and the kids gonna play around with it, but it's it's much smaller than a swimming pool.

所以，你要开始的话，需要一个浅浅的小戏水池。

So what you're gonna need to get started off with is a shallow little wading pool.

是的？

Yeah?

要开始的话。

To get started off with.

所以，要开始，你需要一个浅浅的小戏水池。

So to get started off, you're going to need a shallow little wading pool.

对。

Yeah.

好的。

Okay.

好吧。

Well, okay.

现在，任何旧的浅水池都可以，但我更喜欢带铝制侧壁的，或者说是铝制的。

Now, any old wading pool will do, but I prefer one with aluminum siding or aluminum, if you will.

所以任何浅水池都行，但我更喜欢带铝制侧壁的。

So any wading pool will do, but I prefer one with aluminum no.

他说，他更喜欢带铝制侧壁的。

He said, I prefer one with aluminium siding.

所以他意思是浅水池的侧壁应该是铝制的。

So he means that the sides of the wading pool should be made of, aluminium.

但他说的是铝制侧壁或者铝制的，这是因为美式英语和英式英语在发音上有所不同。

But he says, aluminium siding or aluminium, if you will, and, that's because between American English and British English, they pronounce the words differently.

在加拿大或美国，人们会说 aluminum，而在英国，我们会说 aluminium。

So in Canada or in America, they'd say aluminum, and in in Britain we'd say aluminium.

所以他提到 aluminium 或者 aluminium，如果你愿意这么说的话，‘如果你愿意’就像‘如果你喜欢’一样，当你以可能被听众采纳的方式描述某事物时，可以使用这种表达。

So he says aluminium or aluminium, if you will, And if you will, it's a bit like saying if you like, so or if that's what you do, and you can use it when you're perhaps describing something in a in a in a way that your listeners might use it.

所以如果你说，你可能会说，哦，你可以用一个铝碗，或者说是铝制的，如果你愿意这么说的话。

So if you'd say you might say, oh, you could use sort of an an an an aluminum bowl or aluminum, if you will.

所以，'if you will' 只是另一种表达 '如果你喜欢' 或 '如果你这么讲' 的方式。

So if you will, it's just another way of saying if you like or if if that's how you say it.

现在，随便哪个旧游泳池都行，但我更喜欢有铝制侧板的，或者说是铝制的，如果你愿意这么说的话。

Now, any old wading pool will do, but I prefer one with aluminum siding or aluminum, if you will.

而且你们大多数人都是这样。

And most of you do.

对，你们大多数人都是这样。

That and most of you do.

我想他指的是在场的观众都是英国人，所以他们都用 'aluminium' 这个说法。

I think he's referring to the fact that everyone in the audience is British, and so they all do say, aluminium.

这非常有趣。

It's very funny.

我肯定当时挺有趣的。

I'm sure it was funny at the time.

把它弄好并布置妥当。

Get that nice and set up.

现在，把它弄好并布置妥当。

Now Get that nice and set up.

所以很明显，要准备好这个设置，把它弄好。

So obviously, that set up, get that ready.

但这种表达方式是‘nice and’加某物。

But that expression nice and something.

弄得好好的。

Nice and set up.

nice and 加某物。

Nice and something.

所以就像，把茶热腾腾地端上来。

So it'd be like, serve the tea nice and hot.

这意味着把茶热到刚好舒服的程度。

And that would mean serve the tea hot enough so that it's nice.

所以‘准备好了’意味着以一种很好的方式准备好了。

So nice and ready would be ready in in a good way.

这很重要。

Now this is important.

确保在它的外围放上沙袋，因为你要在里面放很多重量。

Make sure you put sandbags around the outside of it because you're gonna put a lot of weight in there.

明白吗？

Okay?

好的。

Alright.

所以一定要在它的外围放上沙袋。

So make sure you put sandbags around the outside of it.

沙袋嘛，就是装满沙子的袋子。

Sandbags well, these are bags of sand.

我们用它们，军队也用它们来构筑防御工事，对吧？

We use them the army used them to create defenses, don't they?

所以一定要在四周放很多沙袋，因为你打算在里面放很多重量，对吧？

So make sure you put a lot of sandbags around the side because you're gonna put a lot of weight in there, aren't you?

好的。

Alright.

现在，你们中有些人比我快。

Now, some of you are ahead of me.

你们都在想，Tone，我们得用自来水把这东西灌满，对吧？

You're all you're thinking you're saying, Tone, we're gonna need to fill that up with a water, aren't we?

是的，我们要这么做。

Yes, we are.

所以你要拿出你的花园水管，或者那种特别长的水龙头，我不了解你们家的布局。

So you introduce your garden hose or weirdly long tap, I don't know your homes.

所以要给儿童戏水池注水，你需要大量的水，因此要使用花园水管。

So to fill up the paddling pool, you're going to need, a lot of water, so you introduce your garden hose.

水管是一种柔性的橡胶管，用来从厨房或房子后方的水龙头输送水。

A hose is like a flexible rubber pipe, which you use to transfer water, from the kitchen perhaps, or from a tap, in the back of your house.

你通过软管将水输送到花园里。

You transfer water through the hose into the garden.

消防员使用软管来灭火。

A fireman uses a hose in order to fight fire.

对吧？

Right?

所以它就像一根长长的橡胶管。

So it's like a long rubber tube.

因此，为了给花园里的游泳池注水，你需要一根长长的花园软管或特别长的水龙头。

So in order to fill up the gardening in order to fill up the paddling pool, you're going to need a long garden hose or an extra long tap.

他说‘我不了解你们家的情况’，意思是不知道你们家有没有软管或特别长的水龙头。

And he says, I don't know your homes cause he's saying, I don't know if you have a a hose or an extra long tap.

我觉得‘特别长的水龙头’这个笑话很有趣，因为他当时做了个动作。

I think the extra long tap joke is funny because he's doing, like, a physical movement.

所以如果你看视频，他实际上正在模仿把软管从一边拖到另一边的动作。

So if you see him on the video, he's actually doing the movements of, like, bringing a bringing a hose across.

所以我不确定。

So I don't know.

这只是关于他手势动作的一个有趣笑话。

It's just a funny joke about the way he's moving his hand.

我想这算是一个哑剧笑话。

Just a mime joke, I suppose.

我不知道你有多喜欢自己动手做东西。

I don't know how much you like DIY.

所以

So

我不知道你有多喜欢自己动手做东西。

I don't know how much you like DIY.

DIY意思是自己动手做，我们用这个词来指人们自己在家做维修或改造。

DIY means do it yourself, and it's the expression we used to refer to, when people do work on their home.

比如安装架子或者修理家里的东西，都叫自己动手做。

So putting up shelves or fixing things in the home, do it yourself.

这就像是自己动手装饰房子。

It's like doing your own decorating in the house.

所以我不知道你有多喜欢DIY。

So I don't know how much you like DIY.

他提到DIY是因为他在谈论，你知道的，我不清楚你的家是什么样子，比如你有没有水管或者长水龙头。

He's referring to DIY because he's talking about, you know, I don't know what your home is like if you have a hose or a long tap.

所以你会把它装得满满的水。

So you get that nice and full of water.

现在你是不是要介绍你的鲨鱼了？

Now you wanna you're gonna wanna introduce your shark, aren't you?

是的。

Yeah.

当然。

Of course.

是的。

Yeah.

所以现在你需要一个伙伴来帮忙。

So now you're gonna need a buddy for this.

一定要找人帮忙，因为鲨鱼很重，对吧？

Always buddy up because sharks, they're heavy, aren't they?

你把鲨鱼弄过来，然后一起把它拉进来。

They get your shark and you bring him in.

你做这件事需要一个伙伴。

You're gonna need a buddy for this.

‘伙伴’是美国人用来表示朋友的词。

A buddy is like an American word to mean friend.

所以你做这件事需要一个伙伴。

So you're gonna need a buddy for this.

所以找个人帮忙吧。

So buddy up.

如果你找人帮忙，意思就是找一个朋友来帮你。

If you buddy up, it means you kind of find a friend to help you.

所以你会和朋友一起合作来做某件事。

So you kinda get together with a friend in order to do something.

所以你们要结伴。

So you buddy up.

明白吗？

Okay?

因为鲨鱼很重，不是吗？

Because sharks, they're heavy, aren't they?

是的，它们很重。

Yes, they are.

好的。

Okay.

显然，你需要两个人来搬运鲨鱼，因为它们体型庞大且很重。

So obviously, you'll need two people in order to carry the shark because they're they're pretty big and heavy.

对吧？

Right?

因为我用的是虎鲨。

Because I use a tiger shark for this.

它们更容易咬人。

They're just they're more bitey.

所以他用虎鲨，因为它们更容易咬人。

So he uses a tiger shark because they're more bitey.

爱咬。

Bitey.

‘爱咬’其实不是一个正式的形容词。

Now bitey isn't really an adjective.

它根本不算一个标准词汇。

It's not really a word.

他其实是自己造了这个词。

He's kind of created that word.

就像你会说‘有风’是因为风很大，或者‘下雨’是因为雨很多那样。

You know, in the way that you might say windy because there's lots of wind, or rainy because there's lots of rain.

同样地，他说bitey是因为它们咬得很多。

In the same way, he's saying bitey because they bite a lot.

所以很显然，虎鲨更爱咬人。

So apparently, tiger sharks are more bitey.

它们更爱咬人，而且这大大有助于整个过程。

They're more bitey and it helps the whole process a lot.

所以你就把他放进去。

So you put him in there.

让他适应一下环境。

Let him acclimatize himself.

这不会花太久时间，因为池子很小，而他是一条大鱼，对吧？

Now that won't take very long because that's a small pool and he's a big fish, isn't he?

让他适应一下环境。

Let him acclimatize himself.

适应环境的意思是习惯当地的气候。

To acclimatize yourself means to get used to the climate.

所以同样地，当你到达一个新国家，如果那里非常炎热，你可能会说：天啊，适应环境真的很难。

So in the same way that when you arrive in a new country, if it's very hot, for example, you might say, god, you know, it's really difficult to acclimatize.

这意味着要适应气候或温度并不容易。

It means it's just difficult to get used to the climate or the temperature.

所以他提到，这会给鲨鱼一个机会，让它适应环境。

So he said, it's gonna give him a chance, give the shark a chance to acclimatize.

不过这不会花太久时间，因为这条鲨鱼体型很大，而水池却很小。

Now, that's not gonna take very long because that he's a big shark and has a very small pool.

所以他基本上是说，因为鲨鱼很大，而水量又很少，它不会花太久就能适应水温。

So he's basically saying that's because the shark is big and the and the amount of water is very small, it'll it won't take him very long to get used to the temperature of the water.

事实上，水温会很快发生变化。

In fact, the water temperature would change quite quickly.

所以你把他放进去。

So you get him in there.

对吧？

Right?

让他自己适应一下。

Let him acclimatize himself.

对吧？

Right?

然后你进屋去拿你的颜料。

And then you go into the house and you get your paints.

油画颜料最适合做这个。

Oil paints are the best for this.

然后你出来把鲨鱼涂成鲑鱼的样子。

And you come out and you paint that shark up to look like a salmon.

好的。

Okay.

所以他建议你得进屋去拿一些油画颜料。

So he's suggesting that then you have to go into the house and get some oil paints.

油画颜料。

Oil paints.

这些是基于油的颜料。

So these are paints that are based in oil.

你知道，颜料有不同类型，比如油彩、丙烯颜料，后者是某种合成材料，还有水彩。

You know, you have different types of paint, oil paint, acrylic paint, is, like, synthetic, in some way, watercolor paint.

所以他说你应该进屋拿些油彩，把鲨鱼画成鲑鱼的样子。

So he's saying you should go into the house and get some oil paints and paint these the shark to make it look like a salmon.

这很有趣，因为显然，熊现在会以为那是一条大鲑鱼。

Now that's funny because, obviously, the bear is now gonna think it's a big salmon.

亲爱的，我们应该多做一些危险的艺术。

You know, honey, we should do more dangerous art.

我知道。

I know.

亲爱的，我们应该多做一些危险的艺术。

Honey, we should do more dangerous art.

所以他在跟他的女朋友或妻子说，嘿，亲爱的，我们应该多做一些危险的艺术。

So there he's like maybe talking to his girlfriend or his wife and sort of saying, hey, darling, we should do more dangerous art.

所以‘危险艺术’这个概念本身就挺搞笑的，你知道的，危险艺术。

So just the concept of dangerous art is is funny, you know, dangerous art.

显然，用油画在后院把一条虎鲨画成鲑鱼的样子，我觉得这就是危险艺术。

So obviously, painting a shark, a tiger shark, to make it look like a salmon using oil paints in your back garden, I think that's like dangerous art.

是的。

Yes.

好的。

Alright.

现在你得把你的黑熊介绍出来。

Now you're gonna wanna introduce your black bear.

对吧？

Right?

听好了。

Now listen.

嘿。

Hey.

一旦你

Once you've

按照我的方法做了一次，就可以随意调整了。

done it my way once, you can change it up.

想用哪种熊都行。

Use any kind of bear you want.

北极熊、灰熊都可以。

Polar bear, grizzly.

第一次的话，先用黑熊试试。

First time, try it with a black bear.

明白吗？

Okay?

所以你要把你的黑熊带进来。

So you bring you bring in your black bear.

现在他是一只熊，对吧？

Now he's a bear, isn't he?

他现在会低头看，这绝对是他在一生中见过的最大鲑鱼。

And he's gonna look down now, and that's definitely gonna be the largest salmon he's ever seen in his life.

这不会让他停下。

It's not gonna stop him.

他只会说：哦，我所有的熊式圣诞节都同时来了。

He's just gonna go, oh, all my bear Christmases have come at once.

我所有的圣诞节都同时来了。

All my Christmases have come at once.

这就像你所有的圣诞节都发生在同一时间。

That's like when all of your Christmases happen at one time.

所以你一次性收到了所有的礼物，所有的惊喜都同时到来。

So you get all of your presents, all of your gifts, all come at the same time.

所以你会说：哇，我所有的圣诞节都同时来了，因为这条巨大的鲑鱼对他来说就像一份完美的礼物。

So it's like, wow, all my Christmases have come at once, as it because like this big salmon is like a perfect gift for him to eat.

哇，我所有的熊式圣诞节都同时来了。

So wow, all my bear Christmases have come at once.

现在，托尼开始谈论口音了，因为他决定给这只黑熊赋予一种典型的美国黑人口音。

Now, at this point, Tony starts to talk about accents, actually, because he's decided to give this black bear, a kind of a black American accent.

所以他就像说，哦，是的。

So he's like, oh, yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

就是这种感觉。

That kind of thing.

这有点种族歧视的边缘，但他知道这处于边缘，所以没问题。

Now it's kind of borderline racist, but he knows that it's borderline racist, so it's no problem.

但这很有趣，因为他开始谈论口音，以及模仿不同口音在文化上可能带来的些许困难。

But it's just interesting because he starts to talk about accents and how doing different accents can be culturally a little bit difficult.

他低头看了。

He's look down.

他要说了，那是一条巨大的该死的大马哈鱼。

He's gonna go he's gonna go, that's a big motherfucking salmon right there.

该死。

Shit.

我要把这条该死的大马哈鱼全吃掉。

I'm gonna eat that fucking salmon right up.

现在这是一种类似黑人美国帮派分子的口音之类的。

Now this is a kind of, like a sort of a black American gangster's voice or something.

显然，并不是所有非裔美国人都这样说话。

So obviously not all black American people sound like this.

不是的。

No.

绝对不可能。

No way.

但这是一种类似非裔美国帮派分子的刻板印象，你知道的，可能来自上世纪七十年代的某部电影，哦，是的。

But this is a kind of like stereotype of a kind of black American gangster, you know, from maybe like a nineteen seventies movie that, oh, yeah.

我要把这条三文鱼全吃掉。

I'm gonna eat that salmon right up.

哦，是的。

Oh, yeah.

那是一条看起来美味极了的巨大该死的三文鱼。

That's a tasty looking big motherfucking salmon there.

我就是说了我该说的。

I said what I said.

好的。

Okay.

还在继续模仿这种像是黑人兄弟的口音。

Still playing around with this kind of, like, black guy's voice.

哦，是的。

Oh, yeah.

我就是说了我该说的，这是一种刻板印象，可能像某些非裔美国帮派分子或说唱歌手的说话方式。

Said what I said, which is a kind of cliche of the way that, maybe sort of black American gangsters or rappers might might speak.

纯粹的。

Sheer.

那是一条巨大的该死的三文鱼。

That's big motherfucking salmon.

纯粹的。

Sheer.

这种东西。

That kind of thing.

当然，不是所有美国黑人都这么说。

Now, obviously, not all black people in America speak like that.

这就像那种，你怎么形容呢？

It's it's like the sort of, how do you describe it?

有点像七十年代那种黑人剥削电影里的角色，比如《Shaft》电影里的人物。

Kind of like a seventies movie, kind of black exploitation movie kind of character, like maybe someone from the movie Shaft.

如果你知道《Shaft》这部电影，那是一部关于哈莱姆区侦探的经典影片，他说话就是那种腔调。

If you know about the movie Shaft, it's a sort of classic, movie about a detective from Harlem, and he kinda speaks like that.

就像，操。

It's like, shit.

那是一条超大的该死的三文鱼。

That's a that's a big motherfucking salmon.

操。

Shit.

明白吗？

Okay?

所以他就只是在玩弄口音。

So it's just he's just having fun with accents.

现在他开始谈论，当你模仿口音时，可能会有点文化不敏感，甚至有点种族歧视之类的问题。

And now he starts to talk about how possibly when you do accents, it can be a little culturally insensitive, possibly racist or something like that.

托尼·劳这么做非常聪明，因为他开始触及一个非常敏感的话题，却依然能保持幽默感，不会冒犯任何人。

It's very clever the way Tony Law does this, because he starts to deal with a very sensitive topic, and yet he manages to keep it very funny without offending anyone.

他真的很棒。

He's very good.

我要把这条三文鱼全吃掉，因为刚才和那位女士聊天让我饿了。

I'm gonna eat that salmon up because I build up an appetite with the lady.

现在

Now

听好了。

listen.

你的黑熊可以从世界任何地方来。

You get your black bear from anywhere in the world.

你没必要让他的声音听起来那么种族歧视。

You don't need to make his voice quite so racist.

清醒点。

Smarten up.

好的。

Okay.

所以他意思是，你的黑熊可以从世界任何地方来。

So he's saying you could get your black bear from anywhere in the world.

你没必要让他的声音听起来那么种族歧视。

You don't have to make his voice sound so racist.

机灵点。

Smarten up.

机灵点就是变聪明、变明智、变机灵，别傻乎乎的，机灵点。

Smarten up is like get smart, get wise, get clever, don't be stupid, smarten up.

或者在加拿大，我们就说：机灵点。

Or in in Canada, we're like, smarten up.

行吗？

K?

你得对这事儿更排外一点。

You know, be more xenophobic about it.

给自己弄个俄罗斯桶。

Get yourself a Russian barrel.

对这事儿更排外一点。

Be more xenophobic about it.

如果你排外，就意味着你有点害怕来自不同国家的人。

If you're xenophobic, it means you're kind of scared of of people from different countries.

所以这意味着你害怕外国人。

So it's like you're fearful of foreign people.

基本上，如果你有排外情绪，就意味着你不喜欢来自不同国家或不是你本国的人。

It's like, basically, if you're xenophobic, it means you don't like people from different countries or you don't like people from somewhere else, not your country.

所以他是在说，也许吧，要对这件事更排外一点。

So he's so he's saying, maybe, yeah, be more xenophobic about it.

他现在是在说反话。

Now he's being ironic.

他并不是真的认为你应该排外。

He doesn't really mean that you should be xenophobic.

他只是在说反话。

He's just being ironic.

所以他说道，是的，你应该对这件事更排外一点。

So he says, yeah, you should be more xenophobic about it.

给自己弄个俄罗斯熊。

Get yourself a Russian bear.

你知道的，对这件事更排外一点。

You know, be more xenophobic about it.

给自己弄只俄罗斯熊。

Get yourself a Russian bear.

天哪。

Oh, boy.

看看这条三文鱼有多大。

Look at the size of that salmon.

我迫不及待想吃了。

I can't wait to eat it.

好的。

Okay.

还有一种刻板的俄罗斯口音。

And there's a kind of cliche Russian accent.

所以这只是个刻板的口音。

So it's just a cliche accent.

现在他模仿的是一种刻板的波兰口音，听起来和俄语口音一模一样。

And now he does like a cliche Polish accent, which sounds exactly like the Russian accent.

所以我认为他并不是在嘲笑人们的口音。

So I don't think he's making fun of people's accents.

不是的。

No.

他绝对不是在嘲笑口音。

He's definitely not making fun of accents.

他是在讽刺人们有时模仿不同口音的方式。

He's making fun of the way in which people sometimes copy different accents.

所以关于俄语和波兰口音的笑点在于，大多数美国人、加拿大人或英国人其实根本分不清俄语口音和波兰口音的区别。

So the joke here about Russian and Polish accents is that most, say, American or Canadian or English people, they don't really know the difference between a Russian accent and a Polish accent.

因此，无论谁模仿俄语口音或波兰口音，对大多数美国人、加拿大人或英国人来说，听起来都完全一样。

So whenever anyone does a Russian accent or a Polish accent, they sound exactly the same to most American, Canadian or English people.

这其实反映出大多数英语国家的人，无论是美国人还是加拿大人，对不同口音有多么迟钝或无知。

So that really shows about that shows us how insensitive or ignorant most English American or Canadian people are about different accents.

好吧？

Okay?

你知道的，或者一个波兰熊。

You know, or a Polish bear.

天哪。

Oh, boy.

听起来和俄罗斯熊一模一样。

It sound exactly like Russian bear.

我迫不及待想吃了。

I can't wait to eat it.

你知道的，或者弄一只中国熊。

You know, or get yourself a Chinese bear.

现在他实际上是在试探什么是可接受的界限。

Now he's actually testing the boundaries of what is acceptable.

事实上，不知为何，对于一些欧洲人，比如英国人、美国人或加拿大人来说，模仿俄罗斯口音或波兰口音似乎完全是可以接受的，即使这些口音很糟糕；但模仿中国口音却非常糟糕、非常不合适。

And the fact is that it seems that a kind of European, like white English or like American Canadian person, for some reason, it's socially all quite acceptable to do a Russian accent or a Polish accent, even if they're bad accents, and yet it's really bad, it's really inappropriate to do a Chinese accent.

这在某种程度上是种族歧视。

That's somehow racist.

所以他说，你可以从中国弄一只黑熊，然后沉默了很久。

So he says, or you could get your black bear from China, and there's a long pause.

接着他说，但我不会这么做。

And then he says, but I'm not going there.

所以他是在说，我不会模仿中国口音，因为如果我模仿中国口音，就会显得有点种族歧视。

So he he's saying, I'm not gonna do a Chinese accent because if I do a Chinese accent, I'm gonna come across as a bit racist.

托尼根本不是种族主义者。

And Tony isn't racist at all.

他是个非常好的人。

He's a really nice guy.

所以再次说明，他是在玩弄一个观念：模仿某些口音是可以接受的，而模仿其他口音却似乎很种族歧视。

So again, he's playing with the idea that doing some accents is acceptable, and yet doing other accents seems racist.

为什么？

And why?

我不去那儿，对吧？

I'm not going there, am I?

不管你觉得自己模仿的中文口音有多好，其实都不行。

Doesn't matter how good you think your Chinese voice is, it isn't.

不管你觉得自己模仿的中文口音有多好，其实都不行。

Doesn't matter how good you think your Chinese voice is, it isn't.

所以，不管你觉得自己模仿的中文口音有多好，其实都不行。

So it doesn't matter how good you think your Chinese voice is, it isn't.

所以他意思是，即使你觉得自己的中文口音很出色，其实也不行。

So he's saying that even if you think your Chinese voice is brilliant, it isn't.

太糟糕了。

It's terrible.

所以他再次说，大多数人根本模仿不了中文口音，一旦尝试，听起来就像种族歧视。

So he's saying again that most people can't do a Chinese accent, and if they try to do it, they just sound racist.

明白吗？

Okay?

所以这就是这个笑话。

So that's the joke.

这并不是关于不同口音的笑话。

It's not a joke about different accents.

这是关于人们试图模仿不同口音来搞笑的笑话。

It's a joke about the way people try to do different accents as a joke.

从来都不是，对吧？

It never is, is it?

我的意思是，有些口音你就是避而远之，对吧？

I mean, there's some accents you just stay away from, aren't they?

比如中文以及相关的各种口音。

You know, like Chinese and all of its affiliates.

哦，别去碰那个。

Oh, don't go there.

那些不是你该模仿的，除非你是中国人，或者你家里有人是中国人，那样的话你就随便吧。

Those aren't for you unless you're Chinese or, you know, someone in your family's Chinese, you know, and then knock yourself out.

所以，是的，他说有些口音你最好避开，因为如果你模仿这些口音，就会显得很不合适。

So, yeah, he's saying there are some accents that you stay away from, some accents that you avoid, because if you do them, it just seems inappropriate.

当然，除非你是中国人，或者你的父母是中国人，那你就随意吧。

And unless, of course, you're you're Chinese or your parents are Chinese, then knock yourself out.

‘随意’的意思就是放手去做，放松一点，想干什么就干什么，尽管去吧。

Knock yourself out means just go for it, just relax, just do whatever you want, just knock yourself out.

所以你可能会对客人说‘随意’，比如你可以说：‘哦，你随便，想从冰箱里拿点吃的就拿，放松点，看电视吧，随便点。’

So you might say knock yourself out to a guest, like you say, oh, you know, feel free to just, you know, take some food from the fridge, just just relax, watch TV, just knock yourself out.

明白吗？

Okay?

关于哪些口音可以模仿、哪些不可以，这很有趣。

On the subject of the accents which are acceptable or not, that's interesting.

有些人可能会说，模仿任何国家的口音都是不礼貌的，但似乎模仿美国口音对我而言是可以接受的，尽管有些美国人可能会因此感到不快。

Some might say that if you copy any accent from any country that it's rude, but it seems that it's okay, for example, to do for me to do an American accent, perhaps, although some Americans might be offended by it.

比如，如果我模仿苏格兰口音，这似乎是可以接受的，但如果我模仿日本口音、中国口音或者印度口音，就会显得非常不恰当。

Like, yeah, if I do a Scottish accent, that seems to be acceptable, but if I was to do, let's say, yeah, like a Japanese accent or Chinese accent or an Indian accent, then I would come across as being, like, really inappropriate.

有趣的是，某些口音对我来说，或者对一个英美或加拿大人来说是可以模仿的，但有些却不行。

It's interesting that that certain accents are acceptable for me to do or for an English American or Canadian person to do, and yet some of them aren't.

这真的很有趣。

That's just interesting.

同样的情况也适用于南亚地区。

Same thing, Indian subcontinent.

那里暗藏风险。

Oh, danger lurks there.

除非你是印度人，而且你的父母也是印度人，否则别模仿那些口音。

Don't do those accents unless you're Indian, you know, and your parents are.

我们每个人都有一个白人朋友模仿过印度口音，对吧？

We've all got a white friend who's done his Indian accent, haven't we?

在你生命中的某个时刻，这种模仿从未成功过，不是吗？

At some point in your life, it's never worked out, has it?

无论是从艺术上还是道德上。

Artistically or morally.

这全都像是，

It's all like,

哦，他在模仿口音。

oh, he's doing the voice.

哦。

Oh.

现在他描述了一种情况：一个白人朋友模仿了口音，可能是印度口音，结果大家都感到失望。

Now he's describing a situation in which, like, a white friend has, done an accent, maybe an Indian accent, and everyone is kind of disappointed.

所以他们心想：天啊，他又在模仿口音了，仿佛在说：哦，他不该这么做。

So they're like, oh god, he's doing the voice again, as if to say, oh oh, he shouldn't be doing that.

这看起来有点不对劲。

It just seems a bit wrong.

现在他开始谈论普通白人模仿的印度口音有多糟糕，还从特立尼达和多巴哥说起。

Now he starts to talk about the way that an average white person's Indian accent is not very good and starts out in Trinidad And Tobago.

特立尼达和多巴哥位于西印度群岛或加勒比地区。

Trinidad And Tobago is in the West Indies or The Caribbean.

所以他们有一种特定的口音，和印度口音非常不同。

And so they have a particular accent, which is very different from the Indian accent.

事实上，大多数白人的印度口音都不怎么样。

The fact is that most white people's Indian accent isn't very good.

它可能会变化，听起来更像加勒比口音，或者像英格兰北部的口音。

It might change, it might sound more like a Caribbean accent, it might sound accent or an accent from like the North Of England.

当白人试图模仿印度口音时，他们的口音会糟糕到让人感觉仿佛这个口音在各地游荡，因为它听起来根本不像真正的印度口音。

So the accents that white people do when they're trying to copy an Indian accent would be so bad that they would the accent would travel to many different places because it just sounds it's places.

一开始是在特立尼达和多巴哥，

Starts out in Trinidad And Tobago,

然后跑到威尔士待一会儿，接着又跑到了桑德兰待上一阵子。

moves over to Wales for a bit, and then fucks off up to Sunderland for a while.

哦，大家都会觉得有点恶心，想洗个澡。

Oh, while everyone feels a bit dirty and needing needing a bath.

哦。

Oh.

那你什么也不说，是吧？

Well, you don't say anything, do you?

但你也不说，是吧？

But you don't say anything, do you?

所以现在他是在批评那些明明可以阻止这个人模仿糟糕的印度口音却不去阻止的人。

So now he's criticizing the people who don't actually stop this guy from doing a bad Indian accent.

他们只是坐在那里，感到不舒服，觉得脏兮兮的。

Instead, they just sit there feeling uncomfortable, feeling dirty.

但他们就是不阻止他。

But they don't stop him.

不会。

No.

如果他们阻止了他，他就会学到教训，但他就是不学。

And if they stopped him, he would learn, but he doesn't learn.

他不会学的，对吧？

He won't learn, will he?

如果他这么说，他就永远不会学会。

If he say something, he'll never learn.

他只会通过每个人都不再容忍来学会。

He'll only learn by everyone going

所以他这里是在讽刺，他说‘当然，只有每个人都这么做，他才会学会’，而这恰恰与事实相反。

So he's being sarcastic here and he's saying that, of course, he will, only learn if everyone goes, which is the opposite of what's true.

事实上，人们应该告诉他：‘这个口音太糟糕了。’

In fact, people should tell him, that's a terrible accent.

你应该制止他，这样他才会学会。

You should stop, then he'll learn.

在录音的下一部分，你会听到托尼继续谈论如果熊攻击鲨鱼，真正会发生什么。

In the next part of the recording, you hear Tony continuing by talking about what would really happen if the bear attacked the shark.

明白吗？

Okay?

他就只是看到了它。

And he just sees it.

他直接用左爪冲了进去，对吧？

He just goes straight in with that left paw, doesn't he?

大错特错，黑熊。

Big mistake, black bear.

他把树桩拽了回来。

Pulls back a stump.

所以他只是看到它，就直接用左爪冲了上去。

So he just sees it, and he goes straight in with that left paw.

所以他的爪子就像熊的手一样。

So it's like his a paw is a bear's hand.

我们说熊有爪子，狗有爪子，猫有爪子，p-a-w-s。

So we say that a bear has has a paw or paw paws, dogs have paws, cats have paws, p a w s.

爪子就是像熊这样的动物的手。

A paw is, the hand for an animal like a bear.

所以他直接用左爪冲了上去。

So he goes he goes straight in with that left paw.

所以它用左爪攻击鲨鱼，但带回的却是一个 stump。

So he attacks the shark with the left paw, but then he brings back a stump.

Stump 指的是，比如树桩，就是树干剩下的部分。

A stump would be, like, for example, a tree stump is just the the just the trunk of the tree.

如果你砍倒一棵树，砍倒树之后，树根处就会留下一个树桩。

So if you chop down a tree, if you chop a tree down, you're left with a tree stump at the bottom.

所以 stump 就是某物被砍掉后剩下的部分。

So a stump is like something that's left after something has been chopped off.

如果熊用左爪攻击鲨鱼，然后拉回一个 stump，这是因为当它攻击鲨鱼时，鲨鱼咬断了熊的爪子，所以剩下的只有一截没有手掌的熊臂 stump。

So if the bear attacks the shark with its left paw and it and it brings back a it pulls up a stump, this is because when it attacked the shark, the shark bit the bear's paw off, and so all that's left is a stump of a bear's arm left without a hand on the end.

所以熊直接冲上去，用左爪攻击，拉回一截 stump。

So the bear goes straight in, attacks with his left paw, pulls back a stump.

这伤口可不会很快愈合。

That's not gonna heal in a hurry.

这伤口可不会很快愈合。

That's not going to heal in a hurry.

愈合是指伤口或受伤部位好转的过程。

Heal is when a wound or an injury gets better.

对吧？

Right?

所以‘不会很快愈合’意思是它不会很快好转。

So that's not gonna heal in a hurry, means that's not going to get better very quickly.

是的？

Yeah?

如果你匆忙做某事，就是快速地做它。

If you do something in a hurry, you do it quickly.

所以它不会很快愈合。

So that's not going to heal in a hurry.

所以这里的幽默在于使用了低调陈述。

So here is the joke here is that he's using understatement.

低调陈述。

Understatement.

所以如果你手上有个不太严重的切口，或者稍微严重一点的伤口，你可能会说：‘天啊，这伤口一时半会儿好不了。’

So you'd say that's not gonna heal in a hurry if you had like a fairly, like, light cut on your hand, maybe a slightly bad cut on your hand and you go, oh god, that's not gonna heal in a hurry.

但如果你整个手或手臂被鲨鱼咬掉了，说‘这伤口一时半会儿好不了’就太荒谬了。

Like, but if you lost your whole hand or arm to a shark, of course, it's ridiculous to say, well, that's not gonna heal in a hurry.

实际上这伤口根本不可能愈合，因为他已经失去了手。

It's never gonna heal, really, because he's lost his hand.

所以这是一种轻描淡写的说法。

So it's understatement.

这其实就是笑话所在。

That's the that's the joke there, really.

但正如我所说，这是一只勇敢而高尚的生物，他认为我只剩一只好爪子了。

But like I said, brave, noble creature, and he thinks I got one good paw left.

我要进去了。

I'm going in.

第二个错误，黑熊，啊，把残肢缩了回去。

Second mistake, black bear, ah, pulls back a stump.

现在他完蛋了，对吧？

Now he's fucked, isn't he?

好。

K.

于是他用第二只爪子进去，倒霉的是，又拉回一个断肢。

So he goes in with the second paw, unlucky, pulls back another stump.

很显然，他另一只爪子也被鲨鱼咬掉了。

So obviously, he's just lost his other paw to the shark.

鲨鱼咬掉了他的另一只爪子，然后他说：现在他完蛋了，对吧？

The shark has bitten his other paw, and he goes, now he's fucked, isn't he?

所以如果有人说‘完蛋了’，意思是他们陷入了非常糟糕的境地。

So if someone is fucked, it means that they are in a very bad situation.

很显然，这是个粗俗的词，各位女士先生。

Obviously, rude word, ladies and gentlemen.

粗俗的词：完蛋了。

Rude word fucked.

明白吗？

Okay?

别这么说。

Don't say that.

这很粗鲁。

It's rude.

当然，你不应该使用这种语言。

You shouldn't be using that kind of language, of course.

但在喜剧节目中，说些脏话是很正常的。

But in a comedy show, it's quite normal to have some swear words.

所以他说道，现在他完蛋了，对吧？

So he says, now he's fucked, isn't he?

所以当然，现在他完蛋了。

So of course, now he's fucked.

他刚刚失去了两只爪子。

He's got he's just lost two of his paws.

他怎么跟鲨鱼打？

How's he gonna fight the shark?

是的。

Yeah.

他真的完蛋了。

He's really fucked.

现在你有了

Now you've a

一只没有前爪的黑熊。

black bear with no front paws.

他失血很多。

He's losing a lot of blood.

但幸运的是，他曾在莫斯科国家马戏团待过，所以能用后两条腿保持平衡。

But luckily, he spent some time in the Moscow State Circus so he can balance on his hind two feet.

所以现在你有一只没有前爪的黑熊。

So now you've got a black bear with with no front paws.

他正在大量失血。

He's losing a lot of blood.

他能做什么？

What's he gonna do?

幸运的是，他还是只小熊的时候，我想，他去过莫斯科国家马戏团。

Well, luckily, he, when he was a young bear, I think, he went to the Moscow State Circus.

你知道那个有表演动物之类的马戏团吗？

So you know the circus where they have, like, performing animals and things?

他学会了用后腿站立。

And he learned to stand on his hind legs.

他的后腿就是他的后腿。

His hind legs are his back legs.

所以他学会了用后腿站立。

So he he learned to stand on his hind legs.

这就是这只熊的解决办法。

So this is the the bear's solution.

幸运的是，他曾在马戏团接受过训练，因此可以后腿站立，并且能靠着后腿站立继续战斗。

Luckily, he was trained at the circus so he can stand on his hind legs and he can kind of carry on, fighting by standing on his his hind legs.

是的。

Yes.

如果附近有一辆儿童自行车，他可能

And if there's a little kiddies bicycle around, he could

也可能直接骑着它转圈。

probably just wheel around on that too.

如果附近有一辆儿童自行车，他可能直接骑着它转圈。

If there's a little kiddie's bicycle around, he could probably wheel around on that too.

这是因为这只熊曾在马戏团接受过训练。

So this is because the bear was trained at the circus.

他不仅能用后腿站立，还能骑小型自行车。

So not only can he stand on his hind feet, he can also ride a little bicycle.

这只是一个玩笑，意思是，你知道的，一只在马戏团受过训练的熊可能会做的事情。

So it's just a just a joke on the way that's, you know, the the things that a a bear which has trained at the circus might be able to do.

用后腿站立，还能骑一辆儿童自行车。

Stand on its hind legs and also ride a little kiddie's bicycle.

是的。

Yes.

他现在不可能实现他原本期待的辉煌胜利了。

He's not gonna have the glorious victory he was hoping for now.

现在他只能去咬鲨鱼的屁股了。

Now he's gotta he's gotta like do little nips in the in the shark's ass.

就咬几口。

Just little nips.

咬几口。

Little nips.

他不可能实现他原本期待的辉煌胜利了。

Oh, he's he's not gonna have the glorious victory he was hoping for.

所以他现在只能去咬鲨鱼的屁股了。

So now he's got to do little nips in the shark's ass.

一口小咬就是小小的咬一口。

A nip is like a little bite.

所以他只能在鲨鱼的屁股上咬几小口。

So he's just gonna have to do little bites in the shark's ass.

显然，屁股就是鲨鱼的底部或后部。

So obviously, the ass is the the sort of the bottom or the back of the shark.

对吧？

Right?

所以他只能在鲨鱼的屁股上咬几小口，咬几下。

So he's gonna have to just do little nips, little bites in the in the shark's ass.

是的。

Yep.

小咬几口。

Little nips.

我希望有一种更刺激的方式让

And I wish there was an exciting way for

为了完成这个过程，但鲨鱼要花大约八个小时才会失血而亡。

that to finish, but takes about eight hours for the shark to bleed to death.

好的。

Okay.

所以这个故事以一种反高潮的方式结束。

So the story ends with a kind of anti climax.

他说，真希望有一种更激动人心的方式来结束这个场景。

He says, wish there was an exciting way for that to finish.

但基本上，鲨鱼大约需要八个小时才会失血而亡。

But basically, the shark basically, the shark takes about eight hours to bleed to death.

所以这个故事的结局有点低落，但鲨鱼确实要花八个小时才会失血而亡。

So kind of a downbeat ending to the story, but it takes eight hours for the shark to bleed to death.

失血就是血液从身体里流出来。

Bleed is when blood comes out of the body.

所以让鲨鱼失血至死需要八个小时。

So bleed take the shark eight hours to bleed to death.

所以这个故事并没有一个激动人心的结局。

So there isn't an exciting ending to the story.

事实上，这是一个相当令人失望的悲观结局，但这也挺有意思的。

In fact, it's rather a disappointing downbeat ending, but that's that's kind of funny.

我喜欢这个故事以如此真实的方式收尾。

I like the the way that the story ends in such a realistic way at the end like that.

这还挺搞笑的。

It's quite funny.

好了，就是这样。

So there you go.

这是托尼·劳谈论熊和鲨鱼的内容。

That was Tony Law talking about bears and sharks.

你可能在想，看啊，这集简直荒谬又愚蠢。

And you're probably thinking, look, this is a totally ridiculous stupid episode.

我不知道你是不是这么想的。

I wonder if you are.

但正如我之前所说，我会继续下去，哪怕你觉得这简直荒谬至极，我也会坚持到底，因为既然已经开始了，我就要完成它。

But as I said before, I'm just gonna carry on anyway, even if even if you think it's really ridiculous, I'm just gonna keep going, because, I've started, so I'll finish.

那么，专家会对熊和鲨鱼谁会赢这个问题怎么看呢？

Now, what would an expert think about this question of who would win between a bear and a shark?

我很想知道。

I wonder.

事实上，我为此做了一点研究，还上了一个叫“All Experts”的网站。

Now, I did a little bit of research into this, in fact, and I looked on a website called All Experts.

这就是All Experts网站。

And this is All Experts.

我不确定这个网站是专门针对野生动物的，还是适用于任何主题的。

I wonder if this is a website for just for wild animals or if it's if it's one for any subject at all.

All Experts看起来像是由一些专家运营的网站，你可以向他们提问。

All Experts looks like a website which is run by some experts, and you you can ask them questions.

是的。

Yeah.

这是关于动物的。

It's it's about animal.

不是。

No.

不只是关于动物。

It's not just about animals.

这是关于任何话题的。

It's about anything.

这是一个叫做allexperts.com的网站。

This is a website called allexperts.com.

所以是http://en.allexperts.com，也就是allexperts.com。

So that's, httpcolon//en.allexperts, that's allexperts.com.

这看起来是一个你可以提问、他们会做大量研究来寻找答案的网站。

And this looks like a website where you can ask questions and they will do lots of research into it in order to find out the answers to questions.

有人提交了一个关于熊和鲨鱼打架谁会赢的问题，已经有专家回答了。

And someone has sent in a question about who would win in a fight between a bear and a shark, and an expert has has answered this.

现在你将听到专家对这两种动物在搏斗中谁会真正胜出的看法。

So you're now gonna get an expert's opinion on who would really win in a fight between these two animals.

首先，这是问题本身。

So here is the question first.

问题是这样的。

So the question is like this.

过去一年里，我和大约50个朋友一直在争论：在四到六英尺深的水中，大白鲨和灰熊谁会赢。

About 50 of my friends and I have been debating whether a great white shark or grizzly bear would win in a fight in four to six feet of water for about one year now.

这个问题总是在酒吧或旅行时被提起。

It always comes up at bars or trips, etcetera.

也许像你这样的专家能提供一些见解或事实，让我们能进一步讨论这个问题。

Perhaps an expert like yourself could provide some insight or facts about which we could further debate this issue.

当然，我们也都非常想听听你对哪个动物会赢的看法。

Of course, we would all also love to hear your opinion on which animal would win.

提前感谢。

Thanks in advance.

以下是专家乔纳森·赖特的回答，我现在要读给你们听。

And here is the answer from an expert named Jonathan Wright, and I'm now gonna read the answer to you.

如果你想阅读这段文字，我实际上会把这段文字发布到网站上，你可以去查看。

If you want to read this, I will actually post this text onto the website and you can you can check it out.

所以，这是答案。

So here's the answer.

亲爱的贾斯汀，感谢你的提问。

Dear Justin, thanks for your question.

我必须承认，灰熊和大白鲨相遇的可能性极低。

I must admit that it would be extremely unlikely for a grizzly bear to come into contact with a great white shark.

一般来说，动物不太会与其他物种的成员发生冲突。

Generally speaking, animals do not tend to have fights with members of other species.

如果一个动物不是潜在的猎物，就没有理由浪费时间在它身上。

If an animal is not a potential prey, there is little reason to waste any time on it.

我认为，熊和鲨鱼会尽量避开彼此，而不是发动战斗。

I think that the bear and shark would try to avoid one another rather than launching into a fight.

如果熊能逃到陆地上，或者鲨鱼游入更深的水域，它们都会这么做。

If the bear could escape onto land or the shark into deeper water, they would do so.

我查阅了多个网站。

I've looked up various websites.

有些人讨论过熊和鲨鱼决斗的结果，双方都有支持者。

Some people have discussed the outcome of a fight between a bear and a shark, and there are supporters on both sides.

甚至有一幅卡通画描绘了一只棕熊高高举起一条鲨鱼。

There is even a cartoon of a brown bear holding a shark aloft.

然后有一个网站指出，如果熊无法站起身，它在水中就会输。

Then one website states that if the bear couldn't stand up, it would lose in water.

另一个网站也认为鲨鱼会赢，因为熊的爪子无法抓住鲨鱼。

Another website also thinks the sharks would win as the bear's claws couldn't get hold of the shark.

第三个网站对这场决斗提出了各种观点。

A third website gives various ideas about the fight.

一位读者表示，鲨鱼在浅水区的嘴巴不够大，无法吞下一只熊。

One correspondent states that a shark wouldn't have a big enough mouth to swallow a bear in shallow water.

一些来信者支持熊，因为熊有牙齿、颚部和爪子。

Some correspondents favor the bear because of its teeth, jaws, and claws.

熊可以独立于身体其他部位移动它的爪子和嘴巴。

The bear can move its claws and mouth independently from the rest of the body.

有一种说法是，如果熊能趴在鲨鱼身上并牢牢抓住，它可以用一记巨大的爪击掏空鲨鱼的大脑。

One suggestion is that if the bear got on top of the shark and held on, it could scoop out its brain using a massive swipe of a claw.

一个反驳观点是，这并非熊的正常行为。

A counterargument is that this isn't normal bear behavior.

一位来信者认为，灰熊在浅水区有足够的力量，通过重击击碎鲨鱼来击败灰鲭鲨。

One correspondent thinks a grizzly bear would have enough strength to beat a Mako shark in shallow water with blunt force blows crushing the shark.

熊的游泳能力也足够好，在浅水区有一定机会击败鲨鱼。

The bear is also a good enough swimmer to have some chance of beating a shark in shallow water.

其他来信者支持鲨鱼，因为鲨鱼在水中体型更大、体重更重、速度更快、力量更强。

Other correspondents favor the shark, which is bigger, heavier, faster, and stronger in water than the bear is.

鲨鱼可以利用强大的颚部和咬合力咬断熊的肢体，导致熊因失血过多而死亡。

It could use its great jaw strength and biting power to sever the bear's limb, lending, leading the bear dying from blood loss.

它的皮肤坚韧，覆盖着锋利的鳞片。

It also has tough skin covered with sharp scales.

熊无法在鲨鱼的初次攻击中幸存。

The bear couldn't survive the shark's initial assault.

另一个网站提到了鲨鱼攻击的细节。

Another website mentions details of a shark's attack.

当鲨鱼张开嘴发动攻击时，它会将灵活的吻部抬起避让，而与头骨松散连接的下颌会随着嘴巴张开而向前推，使牙齿进入咬合位置。

As it opens its mouth to attack, it raises its flexible snout out of the way, and the jaws, which are loosely attached to the skull, are pushed out as the mouth opens, which puts the teeth into a biting position.

下颌和牙齿蕴含着巨大的力量。

There is immense power behind the jaws and the teeth.

下颌力量极其强大，牙齿则适应于切割或撕裂肉体——当鲨鱼咬住猎物时，会左右甩动头部，直到撕下一大块肉。

There is immense power behind the jaws, and the teeth are adapted for shearing or soaring flesh as a shark clamps its jaws onto its victim and throws its head from side to side until a mouthful is torn from the body.

一条体型适中的4.8米大白鲨，咬合力可达每平方厘米三吨，能撕下一块28乘33厘米的肉块。

A modest size is a a modest sized 4.8 meter great white shark can bite with a pressure of three tons per square centimeter and will tear out a chunk of flesh measuring 28 by 33 centimeters.

鲨鱼通常捕食虚弱或生病的动物，因此不太可能攻击健康的熊。

Sharks usually catch weakly and sick animals, so would be unlikely to attack a healthy bear.