本集简介
双语字幕
仅展示文本字幕，不包含中文音频；想边听边看，请使用 Bayt 播客 App。
欢迎回到又一天的高中生活。
Welcome back to another day of high school.
今天我上了春季学期的第一场三角和化学小测。
Today, I had my first quizzes of the spring semester in Trig and Chem.
你可能在想，嘿，埃薇，现在不是才开学第一周吗？
You might be wondering, hey, Evie, isn't it still the first week back at school?
他们就不觉得咱脑子得先解冻一下？毕竟这几周光吃饼干和奶酪了。
Don't they think your minds need time to thaw after weeks spent eating only cookies and cheese?
嘿，埃薇，你到底知不知道怎么换TI 89的电池？
Hey, Evie, do you even know how to change the batteries on your TI 89?
当然不知道了。
Of course, I don't.
该去拍年鉴照片了。
Time for yearbook.
嘿，埃薇。
Hey, Evie.
考试考得怎么样？
How'd the quizzes go?
烂透了。
Sucked.
你至少写完了吗？
Did you finish them at least?
我倒好，拿蜡笔玩起来了。
Actually, I played with crayons instead.
行吧。
Okay.
后来我还把蜡笔给吃了。
Then I ate them.
明白了。
Okay.
我先回座位了。
I'm going to my desk now.
没有。
No.
等等。
Wait.
回来。
Come back here.
我们还没谈计划呢。
We haven't talked about the plan.
什么？
What
侦察那事儿怎么了？
happened to recon?
侦察得有策略。
Recon requires strategy.
这还用说。
Duh.
斯泰西老师马上就要来了。
Miss Stacy is gonna be here soon.
现在让我们帮你宣传这本书，这也太坑了吧。
Kinda evil to make us love cover your book now.
你没听说吗？
You didn't hear?
是她自己主动要求封面的。
She asked to cover it.
真的吗？
She did?
听说她本来想帮忙，结果哈维老师直接把整个社团都丢给她了。
Apparently, she asked to help out, and miss Harvey stuck her with the whole club.
但她自己说，愿意接手任何课后活动。
But she said she'd take on any after school activities available.
你这眼神是怎么回事？
What's with the crazy eyes?
你还不明白吗？
Don't you get it?
谁有空参加课后活动啊？
Who has time for after school activities?
我倒是有点好奇。
I wonder.
哦，对了。
Oh, yeah.
没错。
That's right.
单身人士。
Single people.
大家好。
Hi, everyone.
不好意思，我来晚了。
I'm so sorry I'm late.
我刚开完一个会，讨论学校露营的事。
I was finishing up a meeting about the school camping trip.
你要去参加学校露营？
You're going on the school camping trip?
他们请我去当监护人。
They asked me to chaperone.
在纽约待了这么多年，我真想体验一把阴森森的黑森林。
And after years in New York, I'm ready for, you know, spooky dark woods.
来吧，放马过来。
Bring it on.
不过那儿有蜘蛛吗？
Except are there spiders out there?
你别管那么多。
Do you never never mind.
跟我说说你在这儿是干嘛的吧。
So tell me about what you do here.
也没什么特别的。
Nothing really.
就是拍拍照，再配点文字说明。
I just take photos, get quotes to go under them.
听起来还挺像那么回事的。
That sounds like something.
我就是听James安排干点活儿。
I just do whatever James tells me to do.
她负责排版。
She's in charge of layout.
Daisy和Lance管广告部分。
Daisy and Lance are in charge of the ads.
你们高中年鉴还做广告？
Advertisements in your high school yearbook?
对啊。
Yeah.
比如披萨店、薄荷糖之类的广告。
Like the pizza parlor and the peppermint patty and stuff.
这些广告帮我们凑钱把年鉴印成精装本。
The ads help us pay for the yearbook to be printed in hardcover.
你原来是纽约人？
So you're from New York.
你是一个人搬过来的吗？
Did you move here alone?
你多大了？
How old are you?
明白了。
Okay.
你这问题也太多了吧。
That's a lot of questions.
对啊。
Right.
不好意思。
Sorry.
我忘了提一下年鉴的子版块。
I forgot to mention the subpage of the yearbook.
是啊。
Yeah.
就是整整两页，专门致敬我们的代课老师。
It's this whole two page spread celebrating our substitutes.
哇哦。
Wow.
真贴心啊。
That is very thoughtful.
我本来想请你接受个采访，用在这儿。
I was hoping I could interview you for it.
我不该先去帮其他同学处理他们
Shouldn't I be helping the other students with what they
不用了。
No.
他们没问题。
They're fine.
反正离最终定稿也就几周了，现在主要是收尾工作。
We're only a few weeks out from the layout being locked anyways, so mostly finishing titties now.
哦，你是说现在啊。
Oh, you meant right now.
如果你不介意的话。
If that's okay.
好啊。
Okay.
那我来聊聊吧。
I'll bite.
行啊。
Sure.
好。
Okay.
咱们来看看。
Let's see here.
真不敢相信她居然答应让我采访她，好让我填那个假年鉴页面。
I can't believe she agreed to let me interview her for my fake ass yearbook page.
詹姆斯肯定要宰了我。
James is so gonna kill me.
我现在本该在修照片的，但这事是为了咱们家。
I'm totally supposed to be editing photos right now, but this is for our family.
明白吧？
Okay?
咱们先来点简单的。
Let's start with something easy.
你哪儿人啊？
Where are you from?
我住在华盛顿特区郊外。
I'm from just outside of DC.
对。
Yes.
就是那个DMV地区吧？
The DMV, is it?
对。
Yes.
你搬去威洛格罗之前，不是住在纽约市吗？
But you were living in New York City before you moved to Willow Grove?
哦，不是。
Oh, no.
我住在一个离城市不远的小城镇。
I was living in a small town, not too far from the city.
大学毕业之后才搬过去的。
Moved there after college.
离纽约市近吗？
Close to New York City?
贵得不行。
Expensive.
是啊。
Mhmm.
特别贵。
Very.
老师那点工资，根本撑不住啊。
Very expensive for a teacher salary.
你们教师不是出名的薪水低吗？
You guys are like famously underpaid, no?
对啊。
Mhmm.
可不就是嘛。
Famously.
你以前合租过吗？
Did you have a roommate?
这能放得下一页吗？
Is this going to fit on one page?
我想听听你们的完整故事，这样我能突出每个人独特的点。
I'd like to get the subs full story so I can highlight something unique about each of you.
对对对。
Uh-huh.
没错。
Right.
当然了。
Of course.
所以没合租？
So no roommate?
我跟别人一起住过。
I lived with someone.
我们平分房租。
We split the rent.
那你们是一起搬去威洛格罗夫的吗？
And did you move to Willow Grove together?
不是。
No.
我是自己搬过去的。
I moved alone.
那你还会想你的室友吗？
And do you miss your roommate?
有时候会。
Sometimes.
作为一个单身女性，一个人住并不可怕。
It's not scary living alone as a single woman.
哪方面？
Which part?
是独居吓人，还是单身吓人？
The living alone or the being single?
两个都吓人。
Both.
哪个都一样。
Either.
独居没什么可怕的。
Living alone is not scary.
对。
Mhmm.
单身也没什么可怕的。
And neither is being single.
我想确认一下，你现在没在谈恋爱，是吧？
Just so I can make sure I have this right, you are not currently in a relationship.
艾薇，你在干嘛？
Evie, what are you doing?
詹姆斯，斯塔西老师和我刚快把她的代课老师采访稿弄完了。
James, miss Stacy and I were just about to finish up her interview for the substitute teachers page.
哦，是吗？
Oh, really?
哪个版块？
What page?
就是年鉴里那个代课老师板块啊，版面不是你排的吗？
The substitute teachers you know, in the yearbook, you you do the layout.
这你该知道啊。
You should know this.
我还以为你今天要去拍体操队的照片呢。
I thought you were gonna take photos of the gymnastics team today.
吉姆，你听我说。
Jim, listen.
求你了，
Please,
不。
no.
你不去健身房吗？
Don't you need to go to the gym?
求你了，别让我拍那些翻腾的家伙。
Please don't make me photograph the flippers.
我才不在乎，我讨厌他们那套蠢衣服。
I don't care, and I hate their stupid outfits.
埃薇，现在就去。
Evie, now.
行吧。
Fine.
好吧。
Fine.
我才不想去那个又臭又蠢的健身房。
Don't wanna go to the stupid smelly gym.
就一分而已。
It's one point.
天哪。
Oh my god.
真是不好意思啊。
I'm so sorry about that.
没事的。
It's alright.
我不介意。
I don't mind.
Evie可有活力了。
Evie is very spirited.
这么说也对。
That's one word for it.
我能看看你在忙什么吗？
Can I take a look at what you're working on?
是的
Yeah.
当然可以
Of course.
现在就只是戏剧版的页面
Right now, it's just the theater pages.
音乐剧占三张照片，因为演员最多
The musical gets three photos because the cast is the biggest.
我们尽量确保每个演员至少出现一次
We try to make sure that everyone cast is seen at least once.
家长们特别喜欢这一点
The parents really like that.
这张照片太棒了
That photo is amazing.
这张其实是Evie拍的
Evie actually took that one.
这些大部分都是她拍的。
She took most of these.
她挺厉害的。
She's pretty good.
真的特别棒。
Like really good.
她天生就有这天赋。
It comes naturally to her.
她就知道该抓拍什么。
She just knows what to capture.
太厉害了。
Wow.
这些看起来都真不错啊，詹姆斯。
This is all looking really nice, James.
我们还没完呢，但快了。
Well, we're not done yet, but we're getting close.
我其实不太了解你的书，但我当年在霍华德大学做过校报。
I guess I don't know much about your book, but I did work on the newspaper at Howard.
你也在《山脊报》干过？
You worked for the Hilltop?
你听说过？
You know it?
那可是
It's only
全美历史最悠久的黑人大学校报。
the oldest black collegiate newspaper in the country.
原来如此。
Okay.
那你申请过霍华德吗？
Did you apply to Howard?
没有，我没申请。
No, I didn't.
为什么？
Why not?
我啊，
I don't
不太清楚。
know.
你确定吗？
You sure about that?
我觉得我融不进去。
I didn't think that I would fit in.
我觉得正相反，你反而最适合。
I think the whole point is that you would.
不。
No.
我从小在这儿长大，身边的人全都长得一样，行事也一模一样。
Well, I grew up here with people who all look the same and who all act the same.
你知道吧，我早就习惯了，但上大学时我不想显得太格格不入。
And, you know, I'm used to it, but I didn't wanna stick out in college.
你觉得呢？
What do you think?
你觉得你太白了，不适合去霍华德？
You're too white to go to Howard?
说实话？
Honestly?
真的。
Honestly.
是的。
Yeah.
我确实这么觉得。
I do.
你知道吗，我大学时有几个朋友，长得跟你一模一样。
You know, I have friends from college who look just like you.
真的吗？
Really?
真的。
Really.
哦。
Oh.
别担心。
Don't worry.
反正还有研究生院等着你呢。
There's always grad school shining star.
这儿一股粉笔味儿和汗味儿。
It smells like chalk and sweat in here.
这些体操运动员一刻不停，我怎么拍啊？
How am I supposed to photograph these gymnasts if they never stop moving?
而且
And
我
I
我本来都快把所有需要的信息都挖出来了，结果你爸非得让我走。
was so close to finding out all the information I needed before setting up our dad.
詹姆斯非得派我去围观那些紧身衣。
James just had to send me away to witness Lycra.
但有一件事是肯定的，斯泰西小姐还是单身。
But one thing's for sure, Miss Stacy is single.
嘿，埃薇。
Hey, Evie.
哟，你真来了啊。
Oh, you actually came.
别太激动啊，帕克小子。
Don't get too excited, Parker boy.
我也没得选。
I didn't have a choice.
你瞧。
Look.
这些姑娘们为了拍出她们想展示的特技，练了好几个星期了。
The girls have been practicing the stunts they wanted photographed for weeks.
她们可兴奋了。
They're very excited.
是吗？
Oh, yeah?
就只有姑娘们兴奋？
Only the girls are excited?
不是。
No.
我可盼着你来看我上平衡木呢。
I've been looking forward to you seeing me on the beam.
这可是我最拿手的项目。
It's my best apparatus.
我从来没看过
I've never seen
有男孩在平衡木上表演。
a boy on a beam before.
你想看看吗？
Would you like to?
我不确定我行不行。
I don't know if I Okay.
太好了。
Great.
走吧。
Let's go.
好。
Okay.
等等。
Oh, wait.
你得拍几张麦迪在地板上的照片。
You gotta get some pics of Maddie on the floor.
帕克，你这是在教我怎么干活吗？
Are you trying to tell me how to do my job, Parker?
你看。
Look.
她今天转体简直太稳了。
She's been totally nailing her twist today.
再说了，你本来就得欠我一个人情。
Plus, you kinda owe me.
是吗？
Oh, do I?
欠你什么？
For what?
你跟哈维老师说我不小心尿裤子了的事儿。
For telling miss Harvey that I crapped myself.
喂？
Hello?
嗨。
Hey.
我根本没这么说。
That is not what I even said.
行吧。
Okay.
你确实没这么说，但你讲的那话更过分。
That's not what you said, but what you said was way worse.
嗯，好吧。
Okay.
算你有理。
Fair.
干得漂亮，麦迪。
Way to stick it, Maddie.
哇哦。
Wow.
她挺厉害的。
Well, she's good.
对吧？
Right?
我说的是你。
I meant you.
你简直太投入了。
You're, like, really into this.
是的。
Yeah.
我超喜欢的。
I love it.
你就不介意自己是唯一的男孩吗？
And you don't mind being the only boy?
不。
No.
我要是在男生队里，根本没法这么练，而且我挺喜欢我队友的。
I'd never get to train like this if I were on a boys team, and I like my teammates.
是的。
Mhmm.
那跟她们穿体操服没关系？
And it has nothing to do with them wearing leotards?
没一点关系。
No.
完全没关系。
Nothing at all.
明白了。
Right.
好吧，帕克。
Well okay, Parker.
让我看看你的本事。
Show me what you got.
你有擅长的项目吗？
Do you have a good side?
没有。
Nope.
听好了。
Listen.
他在平衡木上真的超棒。
He's really good at beam.
我本来没打算被惊艳到，结果还是被圈粉了。
I wasn't prepared to be impressed, but unfortunately, I am.
这种话我当然不会当面跟他说。
I won't be telling him that, of course.
但说实话，他的平衡感简直绝了。
But damn, his balance is unbelievable.
行吧。
Okay.
然后呢？
So?
不错。
Good.
这下没问题了。
And we're good.
啊？
What?
别闹了。
Come on.
就这？
That's it?
我拍到几张不错的镜头。
I got some good shots.
我在上面看起来挺不错的，对吧？
I look pretty up there, don't I?
大概是吧。
I guess so.
哎呀，戴伦，你简直要我的命。
Oh, you're killing me, Dylan.
埃薇·迪伦，是你吗？
Evie Dillon, is that you?
妈。
Mom.
你来得也太早了吧。
You're early.
您好，戴利夫人。
Hi, missus Daily.
哦，好吧。
Oh, okay.
妈，训练还没结束呢。
Practice is, like, not even over, mom.
谢谢。
Thanks.
埃维，
Evie,
你每次出现都越来越漂亮了。
you just get more gorgeous every time I see you.
哎呀，这典型的戴伦家的卷发。
Oh, those Dylan girl curls.
帕克，她是不是美得不行？
Isn't she gorgeous, Parker?
不是。
No.
妈，别闹了。
Mom, please.
别闹了。
Come on.
我先在场上拍个团队照，拍完就把Parker还给你。
I just need to take a team photo on the floor, then Parker's all yours.
哎呀，我可不想挡你事儿。
Oh, don't let me get in your way.
Parker，宝贝，妈妈在看台那边等你。
Parker, sweetie, I'll be waiting by the bleachers.
好嘞。
Alright.
各位姑娘，该你们上镜了。
Ladies, it's time for your close-up.
来吧，快点。
Let's go.
知道了。
Okay.
你觉得是不是挺可爱的，队里所有女生都这么喜欢他？
Is it kind of cute how much all of the girls on this team seem to like him?
是啊。
Yeah.
是不是挺可爱的，
Is it kind of cute how
他妈妈夸我漂亮的时候，他脸都红成那样？
much he blushed when his mom called me gorgeous?
算了。
Whatever.
别说了。
Shut up.
我得专心点。
I have to focus.
我们搞定了。
We got it.
谢谢大家。
Thanks, everyone.
埃薇，宝贝，需要我送你回家吗？
Evie, honey, do you need a ride home?
不用了，我没事。
Oh, I'm okay.
我爸爸来接我。
My dad's picking me up.
你最近怎么样？
How are you?
你爸最近还好吗？
How's your dad doing?
挺好的。
Fine.
听到这个我真高兴。
Oh, I'm happy to hear that.
你们俩去露营吗？
Will you girls be on the camping trip?
当然去。
Yep.
我们肯定到。
We'll be there.
他们想拉我去当监护人，但我实在抽不开身。
They tried to rope me into chaperoning, but I just can't get away.
格蕾西的舞蹈演出快到了，我一分钟都舍不得错过。
With Gracie's dance recital coming up, I can't bear to miss a second.
当然。
Of course.
嘿。
Hey.
宝贝，如果你和你妹妹需要什么，不管是妈妈的建议，还是帮忙挑舞会礼服，我都会特别开心。
And sweetheart, if you or your sister need anything, some motherly advice or even someone to help you pick out a prom dress, I'd be so happy
展开剩余字幕（还有 280 条）
什么妈妈？
to What mom?
哦，谢谢戴利太太。
Oh, thanks, missus Daily.
见到你真好。
It was good to see you.
我得走了。
I I have to go.
等等。
Wait.
埃维。
Evie.
小心点，埃维。
Careful, Evie.
那门怎么你了？
What'd that door do to you?
对不起，爸爸。
Sorry, dad.
饭在炉子上呢。
I've got dinner on the stove.
我不饿。
I'm not hungry.
你妹妹什么时候错过吃饭？
When has your sister ever skipped dinner?
从来没过。
Never.
除了那次
Except for
对。
Yeah.
你妈。
Your mom.
是的
Yeah.
我不知道你是怎么做到的，詹姆斯。
I don't know how you did it, James.
艾薇。
Evie.
她年纪小。
She's she's younger.
我去叫她。
I'll go get her.
不用。
No.
不用。
No.
没事。
It's okay.
你吃吧。
Go ahead and eat.
宝贝，出啥事了？
Baby, what's going on?
今天状态不好。
Bad day.
想跟我聊聊吗？
You want to tell me about it?
不太想。
Not really.
行吧。
Okay.
我觉得我化学小测挂了。
I think I flunked my chem quiz.
天哪。
Oh boy.
不就是一次小测验嘛，伊维。
Well, it's one quiz, Evie.
我知道的。
I know.
而且我感觉你烦心的事儿可不只是这一场测验啊。
And it seems like you're worried about more than a quiz.
我碰到老师了
I saw Mrs.
天天都这样。
Daily.
她问我们最近过得怎么样，我当时都不知道该怎么回答。
She asked how we were doing and I didn't know what to say.
那咱们俩现在到底过得怎么样啊？
How are we doing?
爸，我们挺好的呀。
We're doing fine, dad.
我们是还行，但离真正好起来还差得远，对吧？
We're doing fine, but we're not doing good yet, are we?
对。
No.
还没呢。
Not yet.
我真希望自己知道该怎么回答别人的问题。
I wish I knew how to answer people's questions.
你没必要向任何人解释什么。
You don't owe anyone any answers.
你妈走了。
Your mom left.
我只是觉得，要是她走之前留点说明，我也好有个说法，你知道吧？
I just think it would have been nice if she'd left an explanation so that I'd have something to say, you know?
可我什么都没有。
But I don't have anything.
每当我试着去说，就觉得想吐。
And when I try, it feels like I'm gonna puke.
你们这些孩子值得一个解释，我希望有一天你们能等到。
You girls deserve an explanation, and I hope one day you'll get one.
那爸爸你呢？
What about you, daddy?
我怎么了？
What about me?
你不也该有点什么吗？
Don't you deserve something too?
还有一位置吗？
Room for one more?
多着呢。
Plenty.
来吧。
Come on.
你晚饭吃了没？
What about your dinner?
你不是该休息了？
Aren't you off schedule?
下面太无聊了。
It was boring down there.
你想我了吧。
You missed me.
这我能理解。
Understandable.
闭嘴吧。
Shut up.
你承认吧。
Admit it.
你想我了吧。
You missed me.
你连吃饭都离不开我。
You can't bear to eat a meal without me.
别为难她了，伊芙。
Give her a break, Eve.
谢谢爸爸。
Thank you, dad.
你知道她没你就不吃饭。
You know she can't eat without you.
从小就是这样，她没你就不吃。
Even as a baby, she couldn't.
天哪。
Oh my god.
你太夸张了吧。
You are so exaggerating.
我才没有呢。
I'm not.
当初就是因为这样，我们才不得不把你们俩安排在
It's part of why we had to put you in
同一个房间里住。
the same bedroom.
那会儿根本没法把你们俩分开。
You two couldn't be separated.
你都快离不开我了。
You're obsessed with me.
哎哟，拜托别扯了。
Oh, please.
可别让我再下楼去了啊。
Don't make me go back downstairs.
詹姆森，别什么事都往自己身上揽。
Don't make this about you, Jameson.
现在该哄着开心的人是我才对。
I'm the one we're cheering up right now.
她说得对，詹姆斯。
She's right, James.
你懂规矩的。
You know the drill.
咱们是不是有点大年纪干这事儿了？
Aren't we a little old for this?
别摆那副态度。
Not lose the attitude.
把口音找出来。
Find the accent.
啥事儿能让你开心点？
Whatever would cheer you up?
啥事儿能让您陛下开心啊？
What would cheer you up, your majesty?
总算来了。
Finally.
天啊。
Gosh.
我也不知道。
I don't know.
也许买辆车？
Maybe a car?
哦，一辆全新的车。
Oh, a brand new car.
这可有点过分了，陛下。
That's quite a stretch, your majesty.
我有个踏板车就知足了。
I would have settled for a vespa.
你骑踏板车准得摔个大跟头。
You would crash a vespa so hard.
咱们来点实际的建议吧。
Let's try a real suggestion.
哦。
Oh.
哦，好吧。
Oh, okay.
我觉得爸爸应该去陪孩子们参加学校的年度露营活动。
I think that dad should chaperone the annual school camping trip.
哎呀，詹姆斯。
Oh, James.
你快告诉我，你妹妹是在开玩笑吧。
Tell me your sister is kidding.
她没开玩笑。
She's not kidding.
拜托，老爸。
Come on, dad.
就一个小小的周末而已。
It's one measly little weekend.
这是我最后一次
It's my last
最后一次了，爸。
one, dad.
你最后一次能和我们俩一起去参加这个旅行了。
Your last chance to go on this trip with the both of us.
嗯，明白了。
Uh-huh.
嗯，明白了。
Uh-huh.
你们俩早就策划好了，对吧？
You two planned this, didn't you?
没有。
No.
你听我说。
Listen.
我这儿正忙着两个新项目，全是彻底翻新。
I'm in the middle of two new builds, a full gut reno.
真不是时候，现在实在抽不开身。
It it's not it's just not a good
时候。
time.
爸，求你了。
Dad, please.
别跟我使这眼神。
Don't even give me that look.
你别用这种眼神看我。
Don't you give me that look.
你知道我扛不住这个。
You know I can't handle that.
爸爸，求你了。
Daddy, please.
我考虑一下。
I'll think about it.
好。
Yes.
你啊
You
你知道吗，你居然说哭就哭，这真让我害怕。
know, it scares me that you can cry on command.
既然你不同意当陪护，那今晚让我们去我房间吃饭吧？
How about you let us eat in my room tonight since you didn't fully agree to chaperone?
你们俩这辈子别想上法学院。
You two are never allowed to go to law school.
爸和斯泰西小姐第一次见面，可不能是在露营的时候。
Dad and Miss Stacy can't meet for the first time on a camping trip.
离那会儿还早着呢。
It's not for ages.
哇哦。
Woah.
你不是刚还在哭吗？
Weren't you, like, crying a minute ago?
今天我关于妈妈的事，哭够了。
Well, I'm done crying about my mother for today.
谢谢。
Thank
不客气。
you.
行吧。
Okay.
你说得对。
You're right.
他们得单独见一面。
They need to meet one on one.
露营旅行可不适合来场浪漫邂逅。
A camping trip is not right for a meet cute.
他们第一次见面，得感觉像是——
Their first interaction should feel like,
我不知道，有点褪色、梦幻，还带点性感。
I don't know, faded and magical and sexy.
别拿咱爸的感情生活说‘性感’啊。
Please don't say sexy about our dad's love life.
要嘛就性感，要嘛就别想了，肯定成不了。
Well, it's gonna have to be sexy or it's not gonna work.
糟了。
Shit.
那咱们咋办？
How do we do it?
要不我故意考砸一场历史考试？
I could flunk a history test.
什么？
What?
她会带爸爸来见面。
She'll bring dad in for a meeting.
不行。
No.
但那样你就也在场了。
But then you're there.
他当着你的面不会去搭讪女人的。
He won't hit on a woman in front of you.
说实话，你真想看吗？
And honestly, do you even wanna
不想。
see that?
绝对不想。
Absolutely not.
等等。
Wait.
我想到了。
I've got it.
我真是个天才。
I'm a genius.
好吧，詹姆斯顿。
Well, Jameson
所以家长会。
So parent teacher conferences.
又不是马上就要开。
They're not for a
还有几周呢。
couple of weeks Mhmm.
这给我们留了足够的时间，去好好摸清斯泰西老师的情况，再给爸理个发，买条新牛仔裤和几件新衬衫。
Which gives us plenty of time to get as much intel as possible on Miss Stacy and get dad a haircut and some new jeans and a couple of shirts.
好吧。
Okay.
说实话，他得换个造型，这活儿我得亲自上。
Realistically, he needs a over, and I'm gonna have to do it.
天哪。
God.
咱们没问题的。
We're good.
这事肯定能成。
This is gonna work.
不行。
No.
但如果 dad 不是 Miss Stacy 的类型呢？
Unless what if dad is not Miss Stacy's type?
学校里那些女士们
The ladies at the
超市里那些女的都老跟爸搭讪。
grocery store always flirt with dad.
对啊。
Well, yeah.
但她可不是普通的超市顾客。
But she's not just any lady at the grocery store.
她又漂亮，还上过霍华德大学。
She's, like, beautiful and went to Howard.
真的吗？
She did?
这么优秀的女人怎么还单身？
How is that woman single?
我也不知道。
I have no idea.
咱们得好好打听打听。
We need to find out more.
要是她因为太伤心又太聪明，发誓终身不嫁呢？
What if she's too heartbroken and smart and took a vow of celibacy?
不嫁？
Celibacy?
不嫁？那到底是什么意思？
What the hell is celibacy?
就是像修女那样。
You know, like nuns.
她们心里只想着上帝。
They only do stuff with the lord on their minds.
什么鬼？
What the hell?
不可能。
No.
就是不嫁人啊，埃薇。
It's celibacy, Evie.
而且我长得挺好看
And I'm pretty
那肯定不是修女干的事儿
sure that's not what nuns do.
你咋知道的？
Well, how would you know?
你当过修女？
Are you a nun?
咚咚咚。
Knock knock.
您的晚餐来了，殿下。
Here's your dinner, your highness.
谢谢，爸爸。
Thank you, baba.
谢谢，神父。
Thank you, father.
我错过去啥了？
So what'd I miss?
詹姆斯在给我讲守独身的誓言。
Just James teaching me about a vow of celibacy.
哦，太棒了。
Oh, great.
那天晚上，我和詹姆斯睡在我的床上。
James and I fell asleep in my bed that night.
第二天早上醒来，终于到周末了，这意味着我们有整整两天时间来给老爸改造。
When we woke up in the morning, it was finally the weekend, which meant two whole days to work on making over our dad.
去商场就能顺便去理发店了。
A trip to the mall meant we could hit the hair salon.
我的头发挺好的，别折腾了。
My hair's fine, guys.
不行。
No.
才不是呢。
It is not.
上面剪短一点吧。
A little shorter on the top, please.
不行。
No.
上面得留着。
Top stays long.
爸，你这头发本来就是自然的灰白卷波浪啊。
But Dad, you have natural salt and pepper waves.
多少人专程去土耳其就为了这个发型。
Men travel to Turkey for this.
别剪了。
Leave it.
然后去梅西百货，挑几条这十年流行的牛仔裤。
Then to Macy's to find jeans from this decade.
詹姆斯，亲爱的，这条牛仔裤勒得我屁股好紧。
James, honey, these jeans are squeezing my butt.
行吧。
Okay.
这是直筒款，我又没给你穿紧身牛仔裤。
Well, they're straight leg, and it's not like I'm putting you in a skinny jean over here.
伊薇？
Evie?
这裤子确实有点勒到它屁股了。
They are squeezing its butt a little bit.
好吧好吧。
Oh, fine.
我们换大一号的。
We will size up.
谢谢。
Thank you.
那詹姆斯刚才说的那个叫啥来着？
Then for the what did James call it?
压轴单品，一款完美的巧克力棕色皮夹克。
The piece of resistance, a perfect chocolate brown leather bomber jacket.
两百美元？
$200?
放回去吧。
Put it back.
至少先试穿一下。
At least try it on.
行吧。
Alright.
爸，这话我不太想说。
Dad, I hate to say it.
我希望听起来别太傻，但你穿起来真的
I hope I don't sound ridiculous, but you look
像个小帅哥？
Like a hunk?
行吧。
Okay.
maybe 没那么夸张。
Maybe not that far.
我们庆祝成功，吃了点甜头。
We celebrated our success with a treat.
给詹姆斯，带她去丝芙兰，她硬是说动老爸给她买了个25美元的唇彩；给我呢，就是一个热乎乎软乎乎的椒盐卷饼。
For James, a trip to Sephora where she haggled our dad into buying her a $25 lip gloss, and for me, a warm soft pretzel.
谢谢。
Thank you.
埃薇。
Evie.
鼻涕虫。
Booger.
宝贝。
Babe.
肉桂糖。
Cinnamon sugar.
是的。
Yeah.
来一口吗？
Want a bite?
不用了。
No.
谢谢。
Thanks.
听我说。
Listen.
我真的很抱歉，前几天我妈妈那样。
I'm really sorry about my mom the other day.
没事的。
It's okay.
她不是故意的。
She doesn't mean any harm.
她就是爱插手别人的事，你懂的。
She has a bit of a butting in problem, you know?
而且，我真的想说声对不起。
And, yeah, I I just wanna say I'm sorry.
真的，真的没事。
Really, it's okay.
没事的。
It's okay.
她一直对我特别好。
She's always been really nice to me.
好吧。
Okay.
好的。
Cool.
行。
Cool.
我该回去了。
I should get back.
我家那边
My family is
哦，对啊。
Oh, yeah.
没错。
Totally.
对啊。
Right.
周一见。
See you Monday.
是啊。
Yeah.
嘿，埃薇。
Hey, Evie.
嗯？
Yeah?
你有空的时候要不要来我家一趟？
Would you would you maybe wanna come over sometime?
干嘛？
To do what?
我也不确定。
I don't know.
我们可以一起学习。
We could study.
我其实不太喜欢学习。
I don't really like studying.
也许你和我一起学习会觉得有意思。
Maybe you'd like studying with me.
对了，我家里零食多得都堆满了。
I I oh, and I've got a full pantry full of snacks.
还有，我有台Xbox。
Oh, and I got an Xbox.
哦。
Oh,
行吧。
okay.
好吧。
Okay.
好啊。
Okay.
学校见。
See you at school.
好。
Okay.
对。
Yeah.
再见。
See you.
拜拜。
Bye.
等一下。
Wait.
你刚才在跟帕克·戴利说话？
Were you talking to Parker Daily?
是啊。
Yep.
我从来没见他以前对Big笑过。
I've never seen him smile at Big before.
关于 Bayt 播客
Bayt 提供中文+原文双语音频和字幕，帮助你打破语言障碍，轻松听懂全球优质播客。