高敏感人群的隐藏心理学 - Dr Sasha Hamdani - #1147

睾酮和情绪敏感有什么关系？

What relationship does testosterone have to emotional sensitivity?

其实睾酮呢……

So testosterone is actually...

在一定程度上，它在这方面是有保护作用的。

It can be protective in that front, to a degree.

它能让你感觉更清醒、更有精神，可能还能帮你更好地调节情绪，保持平衡。

It it helps you feel alert and awake and might help you emotionally regulate and balance a little bit better.

问题是，有时候随着睾酮水平下降，比如男性到了五六十岁，你可能会……

The problem is is that sometimes as that testosterone drops, as happens, you know, fifties, sixties with males, sometimes you can...

因为睾酮下降，你会感到情绪敏感度大幅上升，而很多男性并没有准备好应对这种情况。

Because of that drop in testosterone, you can feel this huge rise in emotional sensitivity, and a lot of men aren't equipped to deal with that.

有意思。

Interesting.

顺便说一句，你可能听过我提到LMNT，那是因为过去五年我每天早上都是这样开始的——一杯冷水加LMNT。

A quick aside, you probably heard me talk about LMNT before, and that's because I've started every single morning the same way for the last five years now, which is a cold glass of water with LMNT in it.

LMNT是一种电解质饮料，包含你所需的一切，不含任何多余成分。

LMNT is an electrolyte drink mixed with everything that you need and nothing that you don't.

它采用科学配比的电解质，包含钠、钾和镁。

It's a science backed electrolyte ratio of sodium, potassium, and magnesium.

无糖、无色素、无人工成分。

No sugar, no coloring, no artificial ingredients.

它能减少肌肉痉挛和疲劳，支持大脑功能，并帮助你在一天中调节食欲。

It reduces muscle cramps and fatigue, supports brain function, and helps to regulate your appetite throughout the day.

我确实能感觉到服用它和不服用它之间的区别，这就是为什么我总是不停地提它，也是为什么从安德鲁·胡伯曼博士到奥运运动员和FBI狙击队（那些好的狙击队，不是坏的）都在使用它。

I genuinely notice the difference when I take it versus when I don't, which is why I don't shut up about it and also why it's used by everyone from doctor Andrew Huberman to Olympic athletes and FBI sniper teams, the the good sniper teams, not the bad ones.

另外，他们有无条件退款政策。

Also, they have a no questions asked refund policy.

所以如果你因为任何原因不喜欢它，他们会直接退你钱。

So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll just give you your money back.

而且，他们在美国提供免费配送。

Plus, they offer free shipping in The US.

现在，你第一次购买时，可以通过点击下方描述中的链接或访问drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom，免费获得一份Element最受欢迎口味的样品包。

Right now, you can get a free sample pack of Element's most popular flavors with your first purchase by going to the link in the description below or heading to drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom.

网址是drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom。

That's drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom.

回到为什么社交排斥会让人如此痛苦的话题。

Going back to why social rejection hurts so much.

从适应性的角度来看，大概是因为我被部落赶出来了。

From an adaptive standpoint, presumably, I'm being kicked out of the tribe.

我所在的邓巴部落有150人，而我的小群体只有30人。

There's only 30 people in my pod out of a 150 Dunbar tribe that I'm a part of.

如果我独自一人，我就死定了。

If I'm on my own, I'm dead.

为什么进化会创造出如此容易被批评摧毁的大脑？

Why would evolution create a brain that can be so devastated by criticism?

我不知道。

I don't know.

我觉得……

I think...

事情是这样的。

So here's the deal.

我不认为……

I don't think...

比如，如果你问我，那会……

Like, if you were to ask me, it would...

比如，你、我、我自己，我知道自己情感上很敏感。

Like, you, me, myself, I know that I'm emotionally sensitive.

我绝不会拿这个去交换任何东西。

I wouldn't trade that for the world.

有时候高度情感敏感确实很难受，但我认为这让我成为更好的人。

It's really difficult at times to be highly emotionally sensitive, but I think it makes me a better person.

我觉得这让我成为更好的医生。

I think it makes me a better physician.

我觉得这让我成为更好的父母。

I think it makes me a better parent.

我觉得这让我成为更好的伴侣。

I think it makes me a better partner.

我觉得能够高度敏锐地感知情绪信息和接收到的信息，这可能是你拥有高情商的最大标志之一。

I think being able to be highly attuned to emotional data and incoming information can be it could be one of the greatest signs of emotional intelligence you have.

所以我觉得那是……

So I think that that's...

我绝不会放弃那种情绪敏感。

I I wouldn't trade that emotional sensitivity.

所以……

So...

我是说，进化是否造就了一个会被拒绝打击得崩溃的大脑？

I mean, did evolution make a brain that can be devastated by rejection?

我是说，是的，但随之而来的也有一些积极的一面。

I mean, yes, but there's also some positives that come with that.

好的。

Okay.

你刚才提到了激素。

You talked about hormones there.

男性身上的拒绝敏感症有什么不同吗？

Does RSD look different in men?

你想听一个奇怪的答案吗？

You want a weird answer for that?

当然。

Sure.

好的。

Okay.

我……

I...

这就是我要特别强调的一点。

This is my soapbox for this.

我觉得，作为精神科医生，看心理健康整体情况，特别是随着我们讨论得越来越多，你会开始注意到一些规律。

I think that looking at just, you know, being a psychiatrist and seeing mental health just in general and seeing the progression of mental health, especially as we've talked about it a little bit more, you start to notice patterns.

再看男性心理健康，我觉得我们对男性做了很大的亏欠，因为我们没有教育男性，也没有帮助男性培养很多关于情绪敏感度的知识。

And as you look at male mental health, I think that we have done a huge disservice to men in terms of we don't educate men and help cultivate with men a lot of information about emotional sensitivity.

结果，对很多男性来说，他们只知道怎么处理几种情绪，其中一种就是愤怒。

And as a result, for a lot of men, they know how to target a couple emotions and one of them being anger.

对。

Yep.

所以我觉得，对很多男性来说，你会看到他们……

So I think for a lot of men, you see men that have...

你知道，他们一直被告诉说，要像个男人。

You know, they've been told, you know, just man up.

这没什么大不了的。

This is not that big of a deal.

别为这个哭。

Don't cry about it.

别……

Don't...

就像，他们被迫压抑情绪，但唯一被社会认可的情绪表达就是愤怒。

Like, they have been forced to suppress emotions, but the only socially acceptable emotion they're allowed to express is anger.

我觉得其中一些可能是被误导或混淆的信号，也许是对情感敏感的信号。

I would say that some of that is probably misdirected or confusing signals of maybe emotional sensitivity.

当情感敏感的男孩被告知要“像个男人”时，会发生什么？

What happens when emotionally sensitive boys are told to man up?

我的意思是，那……

I mean, that.

就会变成非常愤怒的男人。

You get really angry dudes.

而且，这真是……

And I mean, it's just such a...

就像，作为一个有儿子的家长，这很奇怪，因为……

Like, I think as a parent who, has a son, it's weird because...

而且可能……

And maybe it's...

这就是那种母子之间的感觉，我对他特别保护。

This is like the mom son thing that I'm so protective over him.

但是，你知道，在其他场合看到，你开始真正仔细观察，看看别人是怎么带他们六岁的孩子，六岁的男孩的。

But, you know, you see in other settings, and you you start to really zoom in and you look at how other people are are bringing up their their six year olds, their six year old boys.

甚至从幼儿园开始，你知道，女孩在班里受到的对待和男孩在班里受到的对待是不一样的，不是老师，而是家长，你在生日派对上就能看到。

And even from a young age in the kindergarten class, you know, the way that the girls are treated in the class versus the boys are treated in class and not by the teacher, but like the parents, you look at it in birthday parties.

你知道，一个女孩摔倒了。

You know, a girl will fall down.

她们会被立刻抱起来。

They're scooped up.

她们会被哄着。

They're they're coddled.

她们会被安慰说，没事的。

They're told, you know, everything is okay.

男孩摔倒了，大家就会觉得，哦，这没什么大不了的。

A boy will fall down and it's like, oh, that's not that big of a deal.

你知道，咱们就继续往前走吧。

You know, let's let's move on from this.

而且这……

And it's...

就是……

It just...

感觉好像……

It doesn't seem like...

就像从《创世记》开始那样。

It's like from Genesis.

他们并没有一个很大的空间去好好探索和驾驭情感上的敏感。

There's not like a huge spot where they can start to explore and really navigate emotional sensitivity well.

我觉得情感敏感的女性在探索这种敏感性方面，似乎比男性有更多的自由和宽容，尤其是到了成年以后。

I think emotionally sensitive women seem to have a bit more latitude and forgiveness to explore that kind of sensitivity than men do, especially as they get into adulthood.

我觉得你说得对，这确实挺奇怪的。

Like, I, you know, I think you're right that it's weird.

愤怒是一种非常反社会的情绪。

Anger is such an antisocial emotion.

它很危险。

It's dangerous.

它可能具有破坏性。

It can be destructive.

通常，经历愤怒的人并不想要这种情绪，他们也不希望它带来的影响发生。

It's often not wanted by the people that are experiencing it, they don't want the impact of it to happen.

但对很多男性来说，愤怒比悲伤更容易被社会接受。

But anger's, for many men more socially acceptable than sadness.

当你想到愤怒作为一种情绪是多么反社会时，这真的能说明悲伤是多么不被接受。

And when you think about how antisocial anger is as an emotion, it really goes to show sort of how unaccepted sadness can be.

是的，你知道，我们在网上经常谈论让男性敞开心扉的重要性。

But yeah, you know, we talk a lot online about the importance of getting men to open up.

我进行了一次对话……

I had a conversation...

这周有两次对话都谈到了男性自杀的问题。

Two conversations this week talking about male suicide.

两次对话里都有这种想法，我真希望那个人能主动求助。

And in both of them, there is this, I just wish that this guy had reached out.

我希望他能说出来。

I wish that he talked.

但在英国，超过九成的男性自杀案例中，他们其实已经接受过某种形式的心理健康咨询。

But in over ninety percent of cases where a man takes his own life in The UK, he's already gone to some form of mental health counseling.

所以问题不只是说出来这么简单。

So it's not just the talking about it thing.

真正需要的是给男性空间，让他们能够感受自己的情绪。

It's actually allowing, like, giving room for men to be able to feel their feelings.

而且我觉得，说实话，很多责任……

And I think that, to be honest, like, a lot of the blame...

很多工作……

A a lot of the work...

不是责怪。

Not blame.

很多工作其实可以归咎于其他男性，因为每个人都希望自己的朋友能敞开心扉。

A lot of the work here can be laid at other men's feet because everyone says they want their friend to open up.

如果你过得不好，我真的需要你跟我聊聊。

If you're having a bad time, that I really need you to to talk to me.

这些话在事后说起来很容易，尤其是当发生了什么非常危险或毁灭性的事情之后。

And this is all easy to say after the fact, especially if something really dangerous or or devastating's happened.

但有多少男人会支持另一个在网上敞开心扉、倾诉自己有多挣扎的男人呢？

But how many guys are supportive of another man on the Internet that's opening up about how much he's struggling?

不是说，不是到那个……

Like, not not to the Overton...

情绪可接受范围的奥弗顿窗口，就是那种，你知道，事情很难，但我正在回到健身房，我要练点肌肉之类的。

Emotional Overton window of acceptability, which is, you know, things are hard, but I'm getting back in the gym, and I'm gonna put some muscle on or whatever.

就像彻底崩溃了，我不知道该怎么办。

Like, really broken down, and I don't know what to do.

我很孤独。

I'm alone.

我破碎了。

I'm broken.

我迷失了。

I'm I'm lost.

我绝望了。

I'm devastated.

一个男人哭泣，很多男人会觉得反感。

A guy that's crying is aversive to a lot of men.

女人也一样。

And women too.

但是，你不能说男性自杀是个大问题。

But, like, you don't get to say male suicide's a big problem.

我们需要做得更多……

We need to do more of...

在这方面做得更多。

More for this.

社会需要更加关心。

Society needs to care more.

然后却嘲笑一个在网上敞开心扉谈论自己情绪的男人。

And then take the piss out of a guy who is opening up about his emotions online.

我有一个关于“男子气概积分”的想法，就是男人需要在肌肉、力量、成功、金钱、名气、女人或者其他方面积累足够的“男子气概盈余”。

I had this idea of man points, which is guys need to accumulate sufficient kind of surplus masculinity in areas like muscularity or strength or success or money or notoriety or women or whatever.

如果他们有了这种男子气概的“银行储备”，他们就可以从中支取，然后谈论自己的情绪。

And if they've got this bank account reserve of masculinity, they can kind of withdraw from that and then talk about emotions.

这就像是一个特殊的电子游戏解锁条件，只有当你达到了某个特定的“男人等级”才能解锁。

It's like this special video game unlock that only happens once you've reached a particular level of being a man.

基本上，人们对此非常反感。

Basically, people have a big ick.

大多数社会对男人谈论深层情感，尤其是痛苦的情感，都感到非常不适。

Most of society has a big ick with men talking about deep emotions, especially difficult emotions.

但如果这些情感来自有地位的人，他们的不适感就会少很多。

But they have far fewer if it comes from a place of prestige

而不是来自贫穷的人。

Than one of poverty.

一个已经运气不佳、可能没什么成就的男人，谈论自己有多痛苦，得不到像克里斯·布姆斯特德那样的同情。克里斯是六届奥林匹亚世界冠军，是地球上肌肉最发达的人之一。

A guy who's already down on his luck and might not have much going for him, talking about how much things are are hurting, doesn't get the same kind of sympathy that Chris Bumstead, six time Olympia world champion, one of the most muscular guys on the planet that he gets.

他可以在女友怀里哭，讲述自己在赢得世界冠军前六周崩溃的经历，因为他拥有所有男性气概的象征和装饰，让人觉得这不是来自软弱。

He can cry and talk about how he broke down in his girlfriend's arms six weeks before he's about to win the world championship because he's got all of these trappings and trimmings of masculinity that make it seem like it's not coming from a place of weakness.

而是来自力量。

It's coming from a place of strength.

但话说回来，克里斯并不需要同样的支持，因为他身边已经有支持他的妻子和一系列成功，这些都在推动他继续前进。

But again, Chris doesn't need the same kind of support because he's already got a community around him of a supportive wife and all of these successes that are continuing to move him down the track.

真正需要这些支持的是那些没什么成就的男人，而他们很可能也是风险最大的群体。

The people that really need it are the guys that kind of don't have anything going for them, and they're presumably gonna be the biggest risk as well.

不过，是的，这也是我想说的，就是……

But, yeah, that's my that's my soapbox as well to just...

我真的希望社会能给予更多的宽容。

I really wish that there was more latitude.

作为一个有感情的男人，我就是……

Like, speaking as a guy that feels feelings, I just...

去年我在北加州参加了一个为期一周的静修，专门处理情绪，每天十二个小时，连续七天。

I did a a full week retreat working exclusively on emotions twelve hours a day for seven days in Northern California last year.

两周前，我刚参加了一个禅那冥想静修，专门练习情绪的传导。

Two weeks ago, I just did a jhana meditation retreat, which is exclusively working on conductivity of emotions.

那是一个七天的静默冥想静修，每天坐在垫子上，大概六到八个小时吧。

A silent meditation retreat for seven days, like sitting on the cushion for, I don't know, six or eight hours a day.

所以那真是……

So that was...

对我来说，这两件事都是为了让我更深入地感受身体，让我摆脱很多评判……

Like, both of those things for me and me trying to get below the neck, me trying to move away from a lot of the judge...

不只是评判，更像是被审视的感觉。对。

Not not even judgment, like, felt scrutiny Yeah.

还有，现有的模式是：这会在世界上怎么展现？

And, existing patterns of how is this gonna show up in the world?

我能在我的生意里这样运作吗？

Can I operate this way inside of my business?

这是我能做的、公开也能接受的事情吗？

Is this something that I can do that's publicly acceptable?

就像，你其实可以一个人去处理这件事，然后再回来。

It's like, it doesn't you can go and work on this thing in isolation and then come back.

但是，是的，我知道作为一个敏感的孩子长大是什么感觉，那时候没有地方释放这些情绪，因为你生活在工薪阶层、蓝领的环境里，或者周围的人没有注意到，或者他们也没有能力帮你。

But, yeah, I I I know what it's like to be a really sensitive kid growing up that didn't have anywhere to put it because you're in a working class blue collar environment or the people around you don't notice or don't have the tools to be able to help.

这可以驱使你做出非常了不起的事情，但也会产生一堆应对机制，意味着，我拥有这个奇怪的礼物。

And it can drive you to do really amazing things, but it also creates a bunch of coping mechanisms that mean, had this weird gift.

比如，我本可以和世界建立那种深度的连接，但我扭曲了它，可以说，我把它炼化了，因为它从一种挑战变成了你把它变成的好东西。

Like, I had this depth of connection that I could have had with the world, and I contorted it, alchemized it, you could say, because it went from something that was a challenge to something that you've turned into something good.

但同时，这也在某种程度上否定了自己的一部分。

But it is kind of a denial of a bit of yourself as well at the same time.

所以那一直是……

So that's been...

这真的是一个……

This has been a...

这也是我为什么很高兴能和你聊的原因，因为它……

It's one of the reasons I was excited to speak to you because it it...

这是一个非常个人化、超级有趣的话题。

It's a a very personal, like, super interesting topic.

我觉得这太迷人了。

I I I think it's fascinating.

很多情感丰富的人，在生活中也会隐藏自己那一面。

What A lot of emotionally sensitive people also, they go through life, and they hide that part of them.

因为内心有很多羞耻感，好像你不应该这么敏感。

Because there's so much internalized shame about, like, you're not supposed to be sensitive.

你应该坚强。

You're supposed to be strong.

你应该能处理事情。

You're supposed to be able to handle stuff.

你……

You're...

我是说，无论男女。

I mean, male and females.

我的意思是，这是人类共同的情况，人们会因为你能克服那些逆境而受到赞扬。

Like, I mean, this is something that as a human condition, people are are celebrated for, like, you were able to get on the other side of that adversity.

比如，你做得很好。

Like, you did so well.

你没有抱怨。

You didn't complain.

你没有……

You didn't do...

所以就像你……

And so like you...

从小你就学会了把那一部分自己封闭起来，或者变得特别容易尴尬。

From a young age, you just kinda learn to shut down that part of yourself or become really embarrassed.

我记得小时候，你知道，我妈……

I remember being like a kid and, you know, my mom...

有时候发生点什么事，就会让我听着特别不舒服。

Something would happen and it would like hit my ear the wrong way.

我就会想，天哪，我太尴尬了之类的。

And I I would think that, oh my god, like, I'm so embarrassed or something.

我就会跑去躲起来。

I would like go and hide.

我会躲到桌子底下，或者躲进衣柜里，因为那时候又尴尬又难过，所有情绪一下子涌上来。

I would like hide under a table or I'll hide in a closet or I would do it because I was just like embarrassed and sad and everything happening all at once.

后来，大概八岁的时候吧。

And eventually, was like, this is young, like eight.

我当时就想，这样对我可不行。

I was like, this is not conducive for me

继续这样下去。

moving forward.

你根本没法好好过日子。

You're not functioning well.

这……

This is...

我长大了可不能这样。

I can't do that when I'm grown up.

所以后来你就开始藏起来。

And so then you just start hiding it.

所以如果你情绪不好，或者今天过得很糟，你就会撒谎。

So if you're emotional or if you're having a hard day, you lie about it.

你会说，我没事。

You're like, I'm fine.

我没事。

I'm fine.

我没事。

I'm fine.

没什么大不了的。

It's not a big deal.

我不想谈这个。

I don't want to talk about it.

或者……

Or...

有时候我会觉得，我不想跟别人说，因为一说我就会哭，那样就证明我太情绪化了。

And sometimes I would be like, I don't wanna talk about it with other people because I'll cry, and that'll prove that I'm emotionally sensitive.

所以我也经常听到这样的故事。

And so I I hear that story a lot as well.

你提到的那个观点，就是压抑并不等于坚强，对。

The insight that suppression isn't the same thing as strength Yeah.

我觉得，如果你是一个情感敏感的人，这可能会改变你的世界观，嗯。

Is, I don't know, kind of kind of world changing that what you're doing if you're an emotionally sensitive person that's Mhmm.

把它们咽下去，嗯。

Swallowing them down Mhmm.

你是在扮演一个沉着冷静的人。

Is you're performing the role of somebody who's got composure.

但这和真正的沉着不是一回事。

But that's not the same as having composure.

这不是一回事……

That's not the same...

哦，你是在扮演一个没有感受过那种情绪的人。

Oh, you're performing the role of somebody that hasn't felt the thing.

这和……不一样，不。

That's not the same as No.

没有感受过那种情绪。

Not feeling the thing.

不是。

No.

而且你这句话说得很好，真正的挑战不在于感受深刻，而在于生活在一个并不总是懂得如何支持这种敏感性的世界里。

And you've got this line, the real challenge lies in not feeling deeply, but in living in a world that doesn't always know how to support that sensitivity.

这句话

That's

是个好引用。

a good quote.

这是一句很棒的话，真的很棒。

It's a great it's it's a great line.

确实如此。

It really is.

真正的挑战不在于感受深刻，而在于生活在一个并不总是懂得如何支持这种敏感性的世界里。

The real challenge lies not in feeling deeply, but in living in a world that doesn't always know how to support that sensitivity.

这个世界感觉非常尖锐。

The world feels very spiky.

每次我从静修回来，总觉得一切都特别柔软。

Every time I come back from retreat, I always feel like everything is so tender.

我懂。

I know.

然后你会发现，在一个极其紧张、混乱又快速运转的世界里，你不得不形成一些奇怪的模式和应对机制，把自己封闭起来，设防，只是为了能撑过一天。

And then what you get to see is how operating in a world that's incredibly intense, very chaotic, fast moving, you have to create these strange patterns and coping mechanisms and wall yourself off and guard yourself just so that you can move through the day.

这也没关系。

And that's fine.

你总不想变成地上一个哭哭啼啼的软蛋吧。

You don't want to be a a whimpering blob on the floor.

我不想变成一滩水。

I don't wanna be a puddle.

我不想变成一滩情绪化的水。

I don't wanna be a puddle of emotions.

我想能够正常应对生活。

I want to be able to show up.

但与此同时，你也在否认自己的一些经历。

But then also, there are bits of your experience that you're denying yourself.

而且，有些你可以拥有的力量会随之而来。

And there are strengths that you can have that come along for this.

这是个问题。

That's a question.

高度敏感的人有什么优势？

What are the strengths of highly sensitive people?

有拒绝敏感焦虑的人有什么优势？

What are the strengths of people with rejection sensitive dysphoria?

我觉得能够……

I think being able...

再说一次，我认为高度情感敏感和高度情感智慧之间有一条直接的通道。

Again, I think that there is a direct pipeline between being highly emotionally sensitive and being highly emotionally intelligent.

而我认为，关键就在于你如何处理这种敏感。

And I think that's just how you deal with that sensitivity.

所以，情感敏感带来的一些优势，第一就是你对他人的内心世界有非常非常深刻的理解。

And so some of the strengths that can come with that emotional sensitivity are, number one, you have a deep, deep, deep understanding of other people's emotional insides.

我觉得这也是当初让我进入精神病学领域的原因之一。

And I think that's part of, you know, what led me into psychiatry in the first place.

这也是我一直这么喜欢这个领域的原因，因为我觉得你能深切地理解别人在谈论他们的经历时的那种感受，甚至能理解……

That's part of why I've continued to enjoy it as much as I have because I think that you can intimately understand when people are talking about their experience or, like, you can even understand...

有时候，病人走进我的办公室，我开始问问题，他们的回答就是‘我不知道’。

Know, sometimes I'll have a patient come into my office and you start asking the questions and, you know, their answer is like, I don't know.

好吧。

Like, okay.

那你能告诉我过去两个月里有什么事情真的让你很烦吗？

So can you tell me anything in the past two months that has really made you upset?

我不知道。

I don't know.

就是……

Like...

所以接下来就是……

And so then it's...

对很多人来说，这就像一堵石墙。

For a lot of people, that's like a stone wall.

你不知道接下来该往哪儿走。

You don't really know where to go from there.

但对于一些高度情绪敏感的人来说，你会捕捉到，比如，好的，我从他们之前谈论家人或回答问题时给出的身体线索中捕捉到了一些信息。

But for some people who are highly emotionally sensitive, you're picking up like, okay, I'm picking up from, like, previous body cues that they were giving me when they were talking about their family or when they were answering in certain ways.

你就会想，好吧。

You're just like, okay.

嗯，那里有些紧张。

Well, there's some tension there.

于是你就开始问别的问题。

And so you start asking about other questions.

所以你在捕捉那些当时可能都没意识到的东西，但你已经把它们整合起来了，而且你很清楚该往哪个方向走。

So you're picking up stuff that you might not even have clocked as it was happening at the time, but you've amalgamated, and you know exactly what direction to go.

我觉得这是非常棒、非常难得的一种能力。

I think that's an incredibly, wonderful thing to have.

而且我觉得，是的，除了在精神病学领域之外，这种能力确实能让你成为一个好朋友。

And I think that, yeah, that outside of just psychiatry, I think that does make you a good friend.

它能让你成为一个好伴侣。

It makes you a good partner.

它能让你成为一个好父母。

It makes you a good parent.

我觉得这对育儿特别有帮助。

I think it's so helpful with parenting.

所以我觉得，这其实就是对情绪状态的那种深刻理解。

So I think I think it's just that huge scope of understanding that emotional condition.

情绪敏感会影响人的自尊心吗？

Does emotional sensitivity have an impact on people's self esteem?

会。

Yes.

但有时候它也可能带来负面影响。

But sometimes it can be negative.

你知道，如果你情绪高度敏感，而且习惯性地把情绪信息往坏处解读，那有时候确实会开始影响你的自尊。

You know, if if you're highly emotionally sensitive, I think, and you're used to reading emotional data negatively, sometimes that can start to impact your self esteem.

而且你走进一个房间，要知道，自我价值和自信是两回事。

And you're you're walking into a room and, you know, self worth and self confidence are different.

但你走进一个房间，开始觉得，好吧，也许这里不欢迎我，诸如此类的想法。

But you walk into a room and you start to feel like, okay, maybe I'm not wanted here and things like that.

然后你在解读情绪信息，可能还附加上一个并不真实存在的故事。

And and you're reading emotional information and and possibly attaching a narrative on there that doesn't actually exist.

那肯定会打击你的自尊。

That can impact your self esteem for sure.

但其他时候，比如在我作为精神科医生的工作中，正因为这种情绪敏感，我反而因此受到赞赏。

But there are other times, like, for example, in the work that I do as a psychiatrist, because of that emotional sensitivity, I'm celebrated for that.

我觉得对一个情绪敏感的人来说，这是一个非常独特的领域，因为这是我最能得到认可的地方之一，因为人们觉得他们第一次被真正理解了。

And I think it's a really unique field to be in as an emotionally sensitive person because that's one of the areas where I get the most validation because people feel like they have been understood for the first time.

补充剂行业里，很多产品都宣称有奇效，但实际上根本做不到，所以我特别推崇Momentous。

The supplement industry is full of products making claims that they can't back, which is why I'm such a massive fan of Momentous.

他们的联合创始人杰夫·拜尔斯曾在NFL打球，亲眼见过补充剂质量参差不齐有多严重，所以他就以更高的标准创立了Momentous。

Their cofounder, Jeff Byers, played in the NFL and saw firsthand just how wildly the quality of supplements can vary, so he built Momentous around a higher standard.

Momentous的每一款产品都采用有科学依据的成分，剂量透明，并且经过独立的第三方检测。

Every product from Momentous uses evidence backed ingredients, transparent doses, and independent third party testing.

所有产品都通过了NSF运动认证，所以标签上写的是什么，罐子里装的就是什么。

Everything is NSF certified for sports, so what's on the label is actually what's in the tub.

这就是为什么Momentous在NFL全部32支球队的更衣室里都备受信赖。

It's why Momentous is trusted inside all 32 NFL locker rooms.

这也是为什么我多年来一直放心使用他们的产品。

It's why I've trusted them with my own supplements for years.

最棒的是，Momentous提供30天退款保证，你可以先买来试用29天。

Best of all, Momentous offers a thirty day money back guarantee, so you can buy it and try it for twenty nine days.

如果不满意，他们会全额退款，而且他们还支持国际配送。

If you don't love it, they will give you your money back, plus they ship internationally.

现在，你去下面的链接，或者访问 livemomentous.com/modernwisdom，在结账时使用优惠码 Modern Wisdom，就能享受首次订阅最高 35% 的折扣，还有那三十天的退款保证。

Right now, you can get up to 35% off your first subscription and that thirty day money back guarantee by going to the link in the description below or heading to livemomentous.com/modernwisdom and using the code Modern Wisdom at checkout.

网址是 livemomentous.com/modernwisdom，结账时输入 Modern Wisdom 就行。

That's livemomentous.com/modernwisdom and modern wisdom at checkout.

自信和自尊有什么区别？

What's the difference between confidence and self esteem?

我觉得自尊是，嗯，内在的，内在的……

I think self esteem is, like, inherent inherent in...

就是说，那就是你本身。

Like, that's that's you.

而自信更多是关于你能做什么，还有你的，你知道，你的……

Confidence is more, I think, what you're capable of and what your, you know, your...

就是……

To...

比如，你的自信和你的技能，以及你在那一刻能做什么。

Like, your confidence and your skills and what you can do in that moment.

所以我觉得自信是会波动的，而自尊就是自我价值，是你的基础。

So confidence, I think, fluctuates, and self esteem is just self worth is your base.

好的。

Okay.

那是不是意味着有拒绝敏感性焦虑症的人更需要不断的 reassurance？

Does that mean that people with RSD are more likely to need constant reassurance?

是的。

Yes.

是的。

Yes.

确实如此。

It is.

因为我觉得……

Because I think what...

他们接收到的是负面的信息，或者可能实际上并不是负面的。

What's happening is that they're getting this negative input, or potentially, it's not actually negative.

也可能是中性的。

It could be neutral.

中性的信息也被当成负面的。

Neutral input is negative.

或者正面的信息也被当成负面的。

Or positive input is negative.

对。

Yes.

是的。

Yep.

这种情况也发生过。

That's happened too.

但你把它解读成了负面的。

But you're reading it as negative.

所以有时候你会陷入这种恐惧的杏仁核循环，压力激素在身体里不断翻涌，你只想让别人告诉你，你不是……

And so there are times where you get so stuck in these amygdala loops of fear and your your stress hormones are, like, just cascading through your body that you're just like, I just need someone else to tell me that I'm not...

就是说，其实并不是这样的。

Like, that this isn't actually the case.

所以这是一种检验现实的方式。

And so it's a it's a form of reality testing.

你觉得不靠外界的认可，能建立自信吗？

Do you think that you can build self esteem without external validation?

我觉得可以。

I think so.

我觉得，你知道，我猜成功某种程度上也算是外界的认可。

I think with, you know, I I guess success is kind of external validation.

但是做……

But but doing...

我觉得有些方法可以提升你的自信。

I think there is stuff that you can work on your self esteem.

我觉得帮助提升自信最重要的一点，就是了解你自己的大脑。

One of the biggest things to help with self esteem, I think, is understanding your own brain.

因为我觉得如果你能做到这一点，能为自己去污名化，明白这不是一种个人感受。

Because I think if you have this, if you are able to destigmatize for yourself, like, this isn't a personal feeling.

这真的只是神经生物学上我的大脑运作的方式。

This is just truly neurobiologically how my brain is working.

我觉得这能极大地增强你的自信心。

I think that can bolster your self esteem pretty tremendously.

这是否意味着这些人很难相信别人的赞美？

Does this mean that compliments are hard for these people to believe?

如果有人夸你，患有RSD的人是不是很可能会不以为意？

That somebody pays you a compliment, is it quite likely that it's gonna be brushed off by someone with RSD?

有时候。

Sometimes.

有时候。

Sometimes.

我觉得这取决于他们当时怎么接收这些赞美，比如……

I think it depends on on how they're receiving it in that moment, like...

还有，和那个人的关系是什么样的。

And what the what the relationship is with the person.

比如说，如果是那种关系，你知道，一个总是直来直去的兄弟姐妹，他们收到夸奖，你可能会觉得，我不相信那个夸奖。

Like, for example, if it's a relationship where, you know, a sibling that's always kind of been a straight broker and they get a compliment, you know, you might not feel like I don't trust that compliment.

那很奇怪。

That's weird.

如果他们已经对某件事感到不自信，而且他们不太了解对方，对方却夸了他们，那可能听起来有点怪，因为他们本来就对那件事有点敏感。

If it might be they're already self conscious about something, and they don't know the other person well, and they give them a compliment, maybe that hits their ear weird because they're already kind of self conscious about it.

这真的取决于他们当时的状态。

It really depends on where they are in that moment.

好的。

Okay.

但有可能。

But possible.

情绪敏感在人际关系中是如何表现出来的？

How does emotional sensitivity show up in relationships?

你听起来好像对这个问题有点不耐烦啊

It You sound exasperated by

对这个问题。

that question.

这个问题范围好广啊。

Such a broad question.

我觉得情感敏感度在所有人际关系里都会产生影响。

I think emotional sensitivity plays a role in every relationship.

关系方面。

Relationship.

不管你是不是那种情感特别敏感的人，我觉得人际关系里本身就充满了各种情绪上的雷区。

Like, whether you're highly emotionally sensitive or not, I think relationships are just kind of this minefield for emotions anyway.

因为……

Because for...

从很实际的角度来说，你其实是把自己置于一种脆弱的境地。

In a very real way, you're putting yourself in a spot of vulnerability.

你知道，我的意思是，理论上，在脆弱的状态下，你把自己的一部分暴露给别人，你得去摸索这些情况，看看……

You are, you know, I mean, theoretically, in vulnerability where you're exposing parts of yourself to another person, and you're having to navigate those waters and see...

你知道，你真的就是把自己完全展现出来了。

You know, you're really, like, putting it out there.

如果对方喜欢你或者不喜欢你，你都是在把自己置于可能被拒绝、可能被批评的境地。

And if the person likes you or doesn't like you, you're you're putting yourself out there to possibly receive rejection, possibly receive criticism.

所以我觉得，对于高度情绪敏感的人来说，这真的会变得很棘手。

So I think that for a highly emotionally sensitive person can get really tricky.

而且很多人……

And people...

我认识很多高度情绪敏感的人，他们有拒绝敏感性的焦虑，都不想再约会了。

I know a lot of people that are highly emotionally sensitive who have rejection sensitive dysphoria who don't want to date anymore.

他们会说，这太难了。

They're like, this is too hard.

我做不到，因为只要对方回消息慢了一点，我就已经说服自己对方不感兴趣了，然后我又重新下载了约会软件。

I can't do that because as soon as there is a delay in texting, I've convinced myself that this person isn't isn't interested, and I've redownloaded an app.

为什么等一条消息会让人这么难受？

Why does waiting for a text feel so unbearable?

我觉得就是因为缺少那种即时的回应和确定感，它……

I think it's just that that lack of that immediate answer and that knowledge, it...

你的大脑就会在那种空白里自己编一个故事。

Your brain just fills in a narrative in that empty space.

比如说，如果对方真的感兴趣，他们就会马上回我。

And so, like, for example, if they were interested, they would respond to me right away.

如果……

If the...

比如，我甚至遇到过一些人，我自己以前也这么想过。

Like, I've even had people who have thought, and I've thought this in the past.

如果我在等一个人回消息，我的大脑就会想，他们肯定跟别人在一起。

If I'm sitting on someone who hasn't texted back, my brain will go to, well, they're with somebody else.

他们根本没在想我，而是跟别人在一起。

Like, they're they're not thinking about me, and they're with somebody else.

而且等他们回复的时候，比如他们刚下班，我已经不生气了。

And like, by the time they respond, like, they got off of their shift, I have already moved on.

我已经对他们生气了。

Like, I'm angry with them.

然后呢，你知道，我需要一段时间才能调整过来，搞清楚状况，但那个……

And then, you know, it takes a while for me to recalibrate and figure out, but that...

有时候我的脑子就是会跑到那个方向去。

Sometimes that's where my brain has gone.

那是不是意味着，焦虑的人有时候会自己破坏关系？是的。

So does this mean that anxious people sometimes will sabotage relationships Yes.

在还没被拒绝之前就自己先搞砸了？

Before they've even had the chance to be rejected?

对。

Yes.

那这通常是怎么表现出来的？

How does that show up?

说实话，我二十多岁的时候一直都是这样。

I mean, that was my pattern in all of my twenties.

就是，一旦……

Like, soon as

你会怎么做？

What would you do?

就是……

Be...

就是，一旦有人跟我走得够近，我就开始担心，觉得我们是不是太亲近了，然后我就得让你看到我真实的一面，或者我害怕如果你知道我某些方面，或者你知道我其实特别敏感，你说的每句话我都会反复琢磨，你就会离开我。

Like, as soon as people got close enough and I was worried that I was, you know, like, we're getting a little bit too close, and now I have to show you actual parts of myself or or I'm I'm afraid that if you know certain parts of myself or you know that I'm really, really emotionally sensitive and I overthink absolutely everything that you say, you're gonna leave.

所以我就干脆先结束这段关系。

So I'm just gonna end it.

所以我从来没被人甩过。

So I've never been broken up with.

一次都没有。

Ever.

从来没有。

Ever.

哇。

Wow.

因为我会直接……

Because I would just like...

你找不到我。

You can't find me.

我不干了。

I quit.

我不干了。

I quit.

我走了。

I'm out of here.

所以我总是在……之前就离开。

So I would just leave before...

而且这真的不是他们自己的错。

And and it was literally no fault of their own.

他们不会是这件事的原因。

They would not be the cause of this.

很害怕被抛弃吗？

Big fear of abandonment?

嗯，其实也不算是被抛弃，因为我会主动选择离开。

Well, I mean, not even abandonment, just like, because it wouldn't be abandonment because I would opt.

我宁愿一个人待着。

I would rather be alone.

我喜欢……

I like...

但我不想你说我什么不好的。

But I don't want you to say something negative about me.

我不想你指出那些我自己已经害怕的缺点。

I don't want you to point out something that I already fear about myself.

我不想你，我不想你说那些话，说不想和我在一起。

I don't want you I don't want you to say those words that you don't wanna be with me.

比如，我一个人挺好的。

Like, I'm fine alone.

我只是不想你说那些话。

I just don't want you to say that.

因为那会是对你的评判，那会是你被推开。

Because that would be a judgment on you, and that would be you being pushed away.

我一个人挺好的，但就是不想你把我推开。

I'm fine by myself, but I just don't want you to push me away.

好的。

Okay.

还有脆弱后的宿醉感，就是你敞开心扉之后的那种感觉，哦，对。

Vulnerability hangovers as well after you've opened up having this Oh, yeah.

那段时间。

Period of time.

什么是脆弱感后遗症？

What is vulnerability hangover?

对我来说，就是……

To me, it is...

而且对我的很多病人来说，就是那种你觉得自己分享得太多了，太脆弱了，让别人稍微看到了你内心世界的那种感觉。

And like for so many of my patients, it's this period where you feel like you've shared too much and you've been too vulnerable and you have, like, let in somebody else a little bit into your internal environment.

所以你把那扇门打开了一条缝，让他们看到了那些东西。

And so you've you've cracked that door open so they can see that kind of stuff.

然后我的大脑就开始不停地转啊转，想：好吧，现在他们知道了这个。

And so then what my brain does is I just spin and spin and spin and think about like, okay, well, now they know this.

他们可能也知道这个，而且他们可能……

They probably know this, and they probably...

他们可能觉得我就是个胆小鬼，什么都扛不住，而且我……

They're probably thinking that I'm just like a huge weenie and that I can't handle anything and that I...

你知道吗？

You know?

然后那个……

And that...

我觉得这就像是从非常脆弱直接跳到非常尴尬，然后就开始退缩。

And I think it's like a direct shot from being very vulnerable to being very embarrassed and then pulling away.

我觉得这中间贯穿的一个共同点，其实不是情绪本身有多深刻。

It feels to me like the common thread between a lot of this is not really the feeling of the emotions deeply.

而是你给自己讲的那个故事，关于这些情绪意味着什么，以及别人会怎么看你。

It's the story that you tell yourself about what those emotions mean and what other people might think about you for having them.

这里面其实裹着很多羞耻感。

It's like a lot of shame wrapped up in this.

至少我是这么理解的。

At least that's how I'm interpreting it.

我觉得如果你把情绪敏感看作一个光谱的话，确实有一个位置，可能你并没有那么情绪敏感，不像你本来可能……

I think I think if you were to look at emotional sensitivity kind of as a spectrum, I mean, there is a place where, you know, maybe you're not as emotionally sensitive as you might...

应该有的那样。

Should be.

达纳·怀特。

Dana White.

我不想说。

I don't wanna say it.

然后还有一种情况，你知道，你的情绪起伏……

Then there is a place where, you know, your your ups and...

你基本上保持在中间水平。

You're kind of regulated up in the middle.

还有一种情况，我觉得你是高度情绪敏感的。

There's a place where I think you're highly emotionally sensitive.

然后我觉得再往下走，就是病态敏感了。

And then I think when you move further down that Pathologically sensitive.

我觉得那更像是拒绝敏感性焦虑症。

I think that's that's more rejection sensitive dysphoria.

好的。

Okay.

所以我们说的是那些最敏感的人。

So we're talking about the most sensitive people.

我说的就是这个。

What I say.

好的。

Okay.

那你觉得自己就是这样的人吗？

And and you consider this to be you?

是的。

I do.

好的。

Okay.

但你还是能在社会上正常生活。

But you've managed to operate in the world.

我是说，你选择了一个非常特别的行业。

I mean, you've chosen a very specific industry to be in.

我觉得这是一个……

I think this is a...

关键就在这里。

This is the thing.

再说，如果我们把你放在光谱的一端，把达纳·怀特放在另一端，你们俩在生理上也是完全不同的人。这里发生的事，我觉得挺了不起的，就是达纳·怀特大概会是个糟糕透顶的心理医生。

Again, if we were to take you at one end of the spectrum and Dana White at the other, physiologically also two very different humans, what has happened there, which is, I guess, pretty great, Dana White would probably make a fucking horrendous psychiatrist.

而且我也不觉得你会是UFC——一个格斗运动——的出色CEO。

And I don't I don't think that you would be fantastic as the CEO of the UFC, a fighting sport.

知道。

Know.

嗯，也许吧。

Well, maybe.

你说的可能没错。

You're maybe true.

但确实有性格倾向，也有你把自己放进去的环境。

But there are dispositions, and there are situations that you put yourself into.

如果你跟一个永远在忙、不太思考情绪、不能陪你一起陷入困境、也不太能给你空间的人在一起，那会是一段糟糕的关系。

If you were in a relationship with somebody who was go, go, go, doesn't really think about emotions that much, isn't able to sit with you in the muck, isn't able to hold space that much, that would be a bad type of partnership.

是的。

Yes.

现在，我相信你能让它运转起来。

Right now, I'm sure you can make it work.

也许你甚至能拥有一段蓬勃发展的关系，但那会是靠咬紧牙关、死死抓住栏杆才做到的。

Maybe you could even have a flourishing relationship, but it would be done by, like, gritting your teeth and gripping the bar incredibly aggressively.

对达纳·怀特来说也一样。

The same thing for Dana White.

如果达纳·怀特在一段关系或一个生意中，必须一直表现得非常柔和、非常温柔，还要有耐心、敏感、更矜持，你知道，以更细腻的节奏行事。

If Dana White was in a relationship or in a business where he constantly had to sort of be very fluffy and very soft and sort of patient, sensitive, more demure, you know, moving at a a more, delicate pace.

我不觉得……

I don't...

他也许能让它运转起来。

He might be able to make it work.

我相信他是个灵活、有能力的人。

I'm sure that he he is a flexible, competent human.

但如果他那样做，他就没法充分发挥自己这方面的能力，就像如果你去当UFC的CEO，世界就会失去一位伟大的精神科医生一样。

But if he does that, he's gonna be, like, not fully utilizing this part of his capacity in the same way as the world loses a great psychiatrist if you become the CEO of the UFC.

所以这……

So this...

而对我来说，这……

And this to me is...

就像，说到兼容性，我越想越觉得，随着我年纪增长，兼容性在生活里几乎就是一切。

Like, compatibility, the more that I think about it and the older that I get, compatibility is kind of everything in life.

对。

Okay.

我就是这种性格。

I have this type of a disposition.

我可以努力改进，试着磨平一些感觉有点病态或者不太适应的棱角。

I can work on it, and I can try and smooth out some of the edges that do feel a little bit close to pathological or are just a bit maladaptive.

对，没错。

It's Right.

它就是在错误的时候……

It's firing in the wrong...

在不该触发的时候触发，我希望它能多一点这个，少一点那个。

At the wrong times, and I want it to be a little bit more this and a bit less that.

好。

K.

但总的来说，你这种性格本身就带来了一套优势，你可以把自己放在一个不需要刻意压制这些特质的环境里。

But largely, you have a set and a suite of strengths that come along with this particular disposition that you have, And you can put yourself in a situation where those aren't things that you need to curtail.

它们可以成为你的平台和跳板。

They're things that you can use as a platform and a springboard.

但我确实很在意很多事情。

But I pay a lot of attention to stuff.

我特别在意用词。

I pay a lot of attention specifically words.

文字对我来说，从小就是最爱。

Words was, like, my first love as a kid.

我小时候读了很多书。

I read a lot as a kid.

现在这让我在打造品牌的时候，比如，我打造了这个东西。

And now it means that when I build brands, like, I've I've built this thing.

我做了这个播客。

I built this podcast.

玩文字游戏，想出很酷的文案，花大量时间在上面。

Word wordplay and coming up with cool copy and spending obsessive amounts of time.

那个……

The...

我们第一次做的那批，你会看到这个罐子背面有三个图标。

For the first run that we ever did, you'll see that there's three icons on the back of this can.

其中一个图标在背面偏移了半个点，而且这已经经过了……

One of the icons was half a point off, offset on the back, and this had gone through...

我们卖了几百万罐，都没人注意到。

Like, we sold millions of cans, and no one had noticed.

有一天我拿起罐子，发现背面有点不对劲。

And one day I picked the can up, and I was like, guys, there's something wrong with the back of the can.

能看到这个问题，完全是因为我们对细节的极致追求。

And the only reason that that was able to be seen was because of that level of attention to detail.

那这会是决定它能否成为十亿美元品牌的关键吗？

Now is that going to be the difference between this being a billion dollar brand and not?

大概不会。

Probably not.

但同样的特质，美味。

However, that same trait Delicious.

太棒了。

Wonderful.

这就是……

That's the...

那个……

That...

就是……

That's...

而且这话还是出自一位有执照的精神科医生之口。

From a board certified psychiatrist, nonetheless.

我的意思是，我所在的行业里，这种对细节的关注能派上大用场。

My point being, I work in industries where that attention to detail can be used properly.

确实能

It can

派上大用场。

be used really well.

比如说，如果我是一名建筑师或工程师，参与建造桥梁，或者我是……

Let's say that I was an an architect or an engineer that helped to build bridges, or I was, somebody...

也许是外科医生的助手之类的，就是特别留意台面干不干净这些事。

Maybe a a surgeon's assistant or something like that, like, really paying attention to how clean the surfaces are, things like that.

那样的话，就太好了。

Like, that'd be great.

如果我在别的行业，我不确定那种对细节的关注会这么有用。

If I was in a different industry, I'm not convinced that that level of attention to detail would be so good.

所以，我在这里想说的是，对于那些觉得‘哇’的人。

So, again, what I'm kind of trying to get at here is that for people who think, wow.

我经常有很多感受，或者我特别关注某些事情，或者我专注于某些事情，我容易反复思考，我容易有侵入性的想法，这些想法会演变成关于这个人可能发生了什么以及他们的动机的默剧。

I I feel stuff a lot or I pay a lot of attention or I I focus on things, I tend to ruminate, I tend to have intrusive thoughts that play out these pantomimes of what might have happened with this person and their motivations.

就像，好吧。

It's like, okay.

那可以被并且应该以某种方式转化。

That can be and should be alchemized in some ways.

你可以……

You can...

我们可以在这方面努力。

We can work on that.

但话说回来，你也能找到一些领域和圈子，在那里这真的就是一项超能力。

But, also, you can just find worlds and domains in which that's like a a real fucking superpower.

而且我觉得，关键不是让人把压抑当成优点，而是要让他们明白，问题不在于你太敏感。

And I think that trying to get people to not see that suppression is a strength, but to see, okay, the issue is not you being sensitive.

问题在于你身处一个没有好好利用你敏感特质的世界。

The issue is you being in a world that doesn't utilize your sensitivity properly.

我觉得这挺……

I think that's a...

我也不太确定。

I don't know.

这不过是一种很有意思的应对方式罢了。

It's just an interesting way to get tactical around this.

我就是这样进入精神科领域的。

That's how I ended up in psychiatry.

我当初进医学院的时候，本来是打算做儿科医生的。

So I went into medical school with the hopes of doing pediatrics.

我妈妈是儿科医生。

My mom's a pediatrician.

我当时就想，那就是我要做的。

I was like, that's what I'm gonna do.

我读完了儿科，然后觉得，这有点无聊。

I got through pediatrics, and I'm like, this is a little boring.

我希望不是这样，但我就是觉得，不能整天待在诊所里，而且我也不能每年冬天都生病。

I I wish it wasn't, but I was like, can't be in clinic all day, and I also can't be sick every winter.

真的，我做不到。

Like, I can't do it.

所以我就想，好吧，换个方向，我要做儿科重症监护。

And so I was like, okay, let me pivot, and I'm gonna do peds ICU.

我当时真的觉得那是我的使命。

I really thought that was my calling.

那是因为我觉得，我在医学院做了这么多努力，这就是超级英雄的工作。

And it was because I was like, I'm doing all this work from med school and like, this is the superhero job.