拉斯维加斯：好的、坏的和丑陋的

但因为我们认识他，而且梅格和他在一起，所以我们要么在维修区，要么像上周那样在包厢里。

But because we know him and Meg is with him, we are in the pits or like, well, last week we were in a suite.

所以这完全是另一种体验。

And so it's just a different experience.

这确实是不同的体验。

It is a different experience.

而且真的很酷。

And it's just really cool.

他人很好。

And he's good.

他是个很棒的人。

He's a great guy.

所以，你知道，只要我能去支持他，我就会去。

So, you know, when I can go and support him, I do.

这周末我实际上要去亚特兰大。

I'm going this weekend actually to Atlanta.

而且所以

And and So

你带女朋友去看比赛了？

you took your girlfriend to the race?

我带了。

I did.

她从来没去过。

She'd never been.

所以我们坐在维修区里，坐在看台上，或者不管哪儿，看起来就像两个傻瓜，因为其他人都是穿黑T恤、准备就绪的样子。

And so we're up in the we're up in the pits, you know, sitting up on the stand or whatever looking like two idiots because, you know, everybody else is black t shirt and ready to go.

我们就是我们自己，你知道的？

And we were who we are, you know?

就是这样。

It is what it is.

等等。

Wait.

就当陪我一下，给我详细讲讲。

Just just walk me through humor me for a second.

帮我理一下，因为我们要好好聊聊拉斯维加斯的方方面面——好的、坏的、丑的，我知道你一会儿想谈点严肃的。

Walk me through this because we're we're gonna do the good, the bad, and the ugly of of Vegas because I know you wanna talk about something serious here in a little bit.

那你去比赛时穿了什么？

But what did you wear to

比赛？

the race?

所以我穿了超可爱的衣服，好吧。

So I had on these super cute okay.

所以当你开始的时候

So when you start up

我知道你，所以我明白你肯定特别讲究，就像我会那样。

I know you, so I know it was extra like I would be.

那衣服超可爱的。

It was super cute.

嗯，所以拉斯维加斯很冷。

Well, so I was So it's cold in Vegas.

于是我们打电话时，她和我说：‘宝贝，我穿着我的大羽绒服呢。’

And so we're on the phone, she and I, said, girl, I'm wearing my big puffer.

她却说：‘你不会真穿一件大羽绒服吧。’

And she's like, you're not gonna wear a big puffer.

于是我跑去买了这件超大的亮蓝色羽绒服。

So I went and I got this huge puffer, this bright blue puffer.

外套？

Jacket?

她：‘对啊。’

She yep.

她穿着一件大毛皮大衣。

And she had on a big fur.

我们都戴着墨镜。

We had on our sunglasses.

我穿了一条可爱的黑色牛仔裤，上面缀满了珍珠。

I had on these adorable, like, it was black denim with these pearls all the way down.

嗯。

Mhmm.

太可爱了。

Adorable.

泡泡袖。

Puff sleeve.

我的意思是，说实话，这衣服挺糟的。

I mean, you know, it it was bad.

但我们玩得很开心。

But we had fun.

特别有趣。

It was a lot of fun.

你们有没有逛来逛去，假装是司机的妻子？

Did you walk around and pretend to be like a driver's wife?

我是个司机的妻子。

I am a driver's wife.

里奇，我没法工作。

Ricky, I cannot work.

没有。

No.

我没有。

I did not.

你知道，我们到了那里，这真的很有趣。

You know, we got there and it it's really interesting.

我喜欢观察这一切的动态，你知道，看着人们很有趣。

I love to watch the dynamic of it all and, you know It is a fun people watching them.

这太疯狂了。

It is crazy.

然后看那些在维修区的家伙，我超爱这个。

And then to watch the guys in the pit, I love that.

我我有点

I'm I'm kind

像个假小子，你知道的。

of a tomboy, you know.

所以我觉得这真的很酷。

So I think it's really cool.

对我来说真的很疯狂，比如，要成为车队的一员你得有多强的运动能力。

It's really crazy to me, like, how athletic you have to be to be on a driver's team.

哦，是的。

Oh, yeah.

比如，他们之间有比赛，就像是的。

Like, they have competitions, like Yeah.

维修站团队之间的较量等等。

Between pit crews and all this stuff.

所以我挺享受这方面的。

So I've enjoyed that aspect of it.

我会去买票然后坐在看台上吗？

Would I go and purchase a ticket and sit in a stand?

那不是我的风格。

That's not my thing.

但你知道，坐上去的时候却下起了雪。

But, you know, to sit up and then it was snowing.

所以当时又下雨又下雪。

So it rained and it snowed

在拉斯维加斯？

In Vegas?

在拉斯维加斯。

In Vegas.

所以我们刚到套房里，

So we had just gotten up to the suite and

我知道现在是三月，但我一想到拉斯维加斯，就会觉得应该是泳池派对的季节，不是吗？

know it's March, but I think of Vegas and I think like pool party is in like No.

当时气温只有50华氏度，冷得厉害，但我们刚进套房。

It was it was like 50 degree cold and it was really cold, but we had just gotten in the suite.

我拿了点吃的，正坐着，结果突然开始下雨，接着又下起了小雪，你简直不敢相信发生了什么。

I got my little plate of food and I was sitting and sure enough it starts raining then they're like flurries and you're like what just happened?

所以他们不得不暂停比赛，不管怎样，这真是一次很棒的经历。

So they had to stop the race and whatever but it was a great it was great experience.

我们玩得很开心，她和我经常点客房服务，躺在床上聊很久，特别有趣。

We had fun and she and I just we ordered in room service a lot and sat in the bed and had like you know just long talks and it was it was a lot of fun.

在她来之前，我周四就到了。

So before she got there, I went Thursday.

她直到周五才到。

She didn't get there till Friday.

我和梅格、凯尔出去玩了点轮盘赌。

Me and Meg and Kyle, we went out and we did a little roulette.

让我这么说吧，我觉得自己一生中是个非常幸运、有福气的人。

And let me just say, I feel like overall in life, I'm a very blessed and lucky person.

但不知为什么，幸运从不跟着我。

But there for some reason, luck does not follow me.

明白吗？

Okay?

比如，我会输钱。

Like, I lose money.

就是，我

Like, it's just I

我还以为你要告诉我你赢了五千美元之类的钱呢。

thought you were about to tell me you won, like, $5,000 or something.

我想说的是，你去拉斯维加斯的时候，有没有那种感觉？我觉得我就是那种人。

I want I you know, do when you go to Vegas, do you feel like you I feel like I got it.

对吧？

Right?

我讨厌赌博。

I hate gambling.

你真的吗？

Do you really?

我非常讨厌它。

Hate it with a passion.

我可能会被忽悠去

I can get bamboozled into a

兄弟，你没钱赌博。

You don't have any money to gamble, bro.

你连坐到二十一点桌旁的资格都没有。

You got no me to sit in a blackjack table.

你根本没钱赌博。

You ain't got no money to gamble.

我们当时在那儿。

We were there.

所以梅格、凯尔和我去了玩轮盘赌，我以前从没玩过轮盘赌，但我很快就上瘾了。

So Meg and Kyle and I were at we were doing roulette and I'd not played roulette before, but I really became like super addictive.

真有趣。

So fun.

我很快就把钱输光了。

I lost my money like really quickly.

于是我给了他们一些钱，因为我想，也许别人会赢。

And so I gave them some money because I thought, maybe somebody else.

他们把所有的钱都赢了回去。

They won all of the money back.

所以他们最后持平了，但他们待了很久。

So they they ended up at even, but they were there for a long time.

挺好玩的。

It was fun.

我觉得。

Like I I think

我可能是那种人，我记得小时候和祖母去大西洋城，她会玩一分钱的老虎机，手都磨黑了，因为她一直在机器前坐了很久，就那样坐着，手里拿着饮料和香烟。

I could be one of those that's like I just remember being a kid and going to Atlantic City with my grandmother She would sit at the penny slots and her hands would be black because like she's been at the machines for so And she would just sit there with her her drink and her cigarette.

嗯。

Yeah.

她会说：要中了，要中了。

She'd be like, it's gonna hit.

我能感觉到。

I can feel it.

要中了。

It's gonna hit.

我心想：天哪。

And I'm like, oh my gosh.

这是你奶奶？

I like This is your grandmother?

我爱我的奶奶。

I love my grandmother.

但我当时就想：我可不想这样。

But I was like, I never want to do that.

她已经在那儿待了十二个小时。

Like, she's been there for twelve hours.

我们走过赌场的时候，和凯尔还有梅根在一起。

We would be we walked through the casino and like, we're with Kyle and Megan.

所以很多车队都在下面，他认识 NASCAR 里的每个人。

So like, a lot of the crews are down, so he knows everybody in NASCAR.

然后呢，有这么多人，还有一位看起来很邋遢的女人。

And, like, you know, there are all these people, and then there's some nasty looking woman.

她全身上下 literally 金光闪闪的亮片。

And she's got, like, literally gold sequins head to toe.

我当时想，

I'm like,

我奶奶。

my grandmother.

二十年后，我也会变成这样。

That's that's gonna be me in, twenty years.

她总是打扮得漂漂亮亮去赌场，坐在一分钱老虎机前。

She would she would get dressed to the nines and go to the casino and sit at the penny slots.

我当时想，我喜欢这身打扮。

And I'm like, I love the outfit.

我真的喜欢。

I do.

但我们能不能做点别的？

But can we do something else?

我们去看个表演吧？

Can we go to show?

那表演太糟糕了。

It was bad.

然后我觉得，走在拉斯维加斯的每个男人身上，都让你想立刻洗个澡。

And then I feel like every man in Vegas, it just makes you wanna take a shower when you walk through.

你懂我的意思吗？

Do you know what I mean?

就是，唉。

It's just like, ugh.

我不知道他们在那儿怎么了，但我真的不喜欢那样。

I don't know what happens to them there, but I I don't I don't love that.

我不喜欢在赌场闲逛。

I don't love hanging out in the casino.

我们去购物了。

We did some shopping.

那挺有趣的。

That was fun.

我们花了钱，我的意思是，甚至有人给我打电话问：你们今晚出来吗？

We spent I mean, even somebody called me and said, are you guys coming out tonight?

我回答：不去了。

And I'm like, nope.

我们在房间里。

We're in the room.

我穿着睡衣。

I'm in my pajamas.

现在是十点，我在拉斯维加斯。

It's 10:00, and I'm in Vegas.

但你知道，事情就是这样。

But, you know, it that's what it was.

整个周末都像一场女孩们的睡衣派对。

It was a girl's pajama party all weekend.

所以这很棒。

So it was great.

太有趣了。

It was so fun.

但我有一件比较严肃的事情要分享。

But I do have something to share that's kind of a little more serious.

但首先，我们先过去一下。

But first, let's pop over.

让我们来问问迪拉德南公园的Scooter，获取我们本周的美容小贴士。

Let's talk to Scooter at Dillard South Park and get our beauty tip of the week.

我们本周的美容小贴士，我知道我已经跟你们提过了，就是Kills超保湿面霜。

Our beauty tip for the week, which you know I told you about already, it's Kills Ultra Facial Cream.

明年，补水至关重要。

This coming year, it is imperative that you have hydration.

我们不断在不同的环境中进出。

We're going in and out of different environments.

你在家开了暖气。

You cut your heat on in your house.

有一天温度降到七度，第二天又飙升到三十度。

It hits you seven degrees one day and hits 30 degrees the next day.

这款面霜非常棒。

This cream is fantastic.

我对这个季节使用厚重面霜最大的顾虑是它吸收得太慢。

One of my biggest qualms with a heavy duty cream for this time of year is the fact that it doesn't absorb quickly.

Kills面霜完全没有这个问题。

Not an issue with the Kills cream.

它简直太棒了。

It is absolutely amazing.

它含有一个非常神奇的成分，叫作anarchicine，能在最恶劣的环境中吸收水分。

It's got this really amazing ingredient in it called anarchicine, which allows it to absorb moisture in the harshest of environment.

所以，如果你想去爬山，需要一款保湿霜，那么Ultra Facial Cream绝对是首选。

So, you know, if you wanna go mountain climbing and you need a moisturizer, you know, Vultra Facial Cream is definitely the one.

我昨天在店里试用了这款产品，真的太棒了。

I actually tried this in store yesterday and it was amazing.

非常感谢你，Scooter。

Oh, thank you so much Scooter.

他总是能提供最好的建议，而且大多数时候——我想说95%的时间，我都会听他的。

He always has the best tips and, most of the time I would say 95% of the time I I follow what he says.

他懂行。

He knows what he's talking about.

回到拉斯维加斯。

Back to Vegas.

所以肖恩和我正在房间里，准备开始一天。

So Sean and I are in our room and we're getting ready for the day.

而且，你知道，我们正在

And, you know, we're

在贝拉吉奥酒店。

at the Bellagio.

这是一家不错的酒店。

It's a nice hotel.

哦，这是早上。

Oh, this was in the morning.

是的。

Yeah.

不是在晚上。

Like not at night.

我知道。

I know.

我知道。

I know.

所以我们就在房间里，你知道的，你在拉斯维加斯。

So we're in our room and, you know, you're in Vegas.

所以如果外面很吵，你根本不会在意。

So if people are loud, you don't really think about it.

我知道，我懂。

You know, I get it.

但我们就在房间里，没开电视什么的。

But we're we're in our room and we don't have the TV going or anything.

我们只是在聊天。

We're just talking, chatting.

然后我们听到有人在喊叫，其实是用西班牙语在尖叫。

And we hear yelling, screaming actually in Spanish.

一开始，我没觉得有什么不对。

And, you know, I didn't think anything about it at first.

因为旁边有个房间，里面全是孩子，他们玩得很开心。

And because there was a beside us, there was a room full of kids and they were having fun.

我不在乎，你知道的，我一般不关心别人的事，但这次实在太大声了。

And I don't care, you know, I'm I'm not that not that into somebody else's business, but this was really loud.

虽然我不懂西班牙语，但我真想知道他们在说什么。

And you could I I don't know Spanish, but I would love to have known what they were saying.

但你能听出来，那是一场男人和女人之间的激烈争吵。

But you could tell it was this huge argument between a man

和女人。

and woman.

哦，

Oh,

吵得特别大声。

very, like screaming.

我们听到了拍打的声音。

And we were hearing slapping noises.

哦。

Oh.

所以我们走到了走廊里。

And so we were out in the hall.

我们走到走廊，那正是我们隔壁的房间，有大约四个人站在走廊上，大家都互相看着，一脸震惊。

We walk out into the hall and it's literally the room beside us and they're like maybe four people out in the hall and everybody's kind of looking at each other like, wow.

于是我回到房间，关上了门，但还是能继续听到声音。

And so I went back in the room, we closed the door, and then we continue to hear it.

于是我给楼下打了电话，只是说：嘿，这里出问题了。

So I called downstairs and I just said, you know, hey, we're there's a problem up here.

她回答说：哦，家庭暴力。

And she's like, oh, domestic violence.

你知道的，这简直是理所当然的。

Like, you know, it's just a given.

我理解，就是那种喝酒、赌博、压力之类的

And I get it like the, you know, drinking and gambling and stress and

嗯。

Mhmm.

你知道的，

You know,

深夜。

late night.

这完全是另一回事，虽然这并不能成为任何借口，但人们出去彻夜喝酒。

This is a different beast and not that that gives it any excuse whatsoever, but like people are going out and they're drinking all night.

他们都不睡觉。

They don't go to sleep.

他们一直在派对，有时候还涉及毒品，处于兴奋状态，你知道，在赌场输了很多钱，这会让一切更加加剧。

They've been partying, you know, sometimes there's drugs involved and high, you know, you lose a lot of money at the casino and it just kind of heightens everything.

那后来发生了什么？

So what happened?

我们一直听到拍打的声音。

Well, we kept hearing the slap noise.

所以我说，是的，我们打了电话。

And so I was like, yeah, we got a call.

于是我们打电话，然后把头缩了回去。

So we call and we kind of tucked our head, you know, back in.

接着我们听到保安上来敲门。

And so we heard security come up and knock.

当然，那时一切都安静了下来。

Of course, everything's quiet at that point.

于是我们把头探出门口，他平静地问，一切都还好吗？

And so we stick our heads out the door and he just calmly asks, you know, is everything okay?

他们俩都说，是的，一切都好。

And they both are like, yeah, everything's fine.

我当时心都碎了，因为你能听出她声音里的愤怒，我敢肯定当时确实发生了虐待，而那个男人离开后，事情就结束了。

And I just, my heart just broke because you could hear anger like in her voice and I'm sure like, I know for a fact there was abuse going on And the guy left and that was it.

而且你知道，这让我想到，你永远无法知道。

And, you know, you it just it just made me think, you know, we you never know.

你根本不知道别人正在经历什么。

Like, you just don't know what people are going through.

这真的让我心碎。

It's so it was just broke my heart.

这让我想起加比·彼得托的案子，当时警察拦下了他们的车。

And, you know, it it makes me think of that Gabby Petito case where the police had stopped their vehicle.

很明显，警察看到那辆房车在道路上疯狂摇摆，有人在打斗等等。

And there was clearly evidence of like, the the police saw the the van swerving all over the road and people hitting and everything else.

然后警察停下来，他们说：‘哦，只是情侣吵架而已，你知道的，没什么大不了的。’

And then they stop and they say, no, we're just having a lover's quarrel, you know, whatever.

于是他们把两人分开，让他们分别去两家酒店过夜。

And they separate them and they have to go to two separate hotels for the night.

但就这样，事情就结束了。

But like, that was that was it.

他们并没有逮捕布莱恩·伦德里或做任何类似的事情。

They didn't take Brian Laundrie into custody or anything like that.

然后加比·佩蒂托就失踪了，最后被发现死亡。

And then Gabby Petito ends up missing and dead.

你知道，从安全的角度来看，我看到了事情的两面，当时确实被制止了，但永远都不该动手。

You know, I've, I've, I see both sides of the coin from a standpoint of security comes up, you know, and it did stop, but But it's never okay to put your hands on Never.

而且，你知道，这真的让史蒂夫很沮丧。

And, or, you know, and it it really frustrates Steve.

肖恩和我刚刚聊到这件事，因为我们俩都经历过类似的情况。

Sean and I were talking about this very thing because we've both been in scenarios.

我想这就是我们产生共鸣的原因。

I think this is why we bond.

不仅不该对女人动手，而且你对待女人的方式，我也同意。

It's not okay not only to not put your hands on a woman, but, you know, the way you speak to a woman I agree.

你知道吗？

You know?

我有一个底线标准：你不能用对待男朋友那样生气的方式去跟女人说话。

I I am I have have this boundary of the standard that you don't speak to a woman, you know, the same way you would speak to your guy friend if you're upset.

嗯。

Mhmm.

我以前经常告诉梅格：不要和没有姐妹的男人约会，因为我觉得他们对女性的理解，不如那些有姐妹的男人深刻。

And I used to tell Meg all the time, never date a man who doesn't have a sister because I feel like they don't really get the female, you know, as as well as a man who does.

当然，也不是所有我认识的人都这样。

And that's not everybody I know.

但这真的让我很难过。

But it it just made me really sad.

我想，我们经过那扇门时，之后就再也没听到声音了。

I thought, you know, and we would we would go by the door and it was quiet from then on.

第二天早上，大概只有两分钟，我们又听到了一次。

The next morning, just for maybe two minutes, we heard it again.

真的吗？

Really?

嗯。

Mhmm.

然后就停了。

And then it stopped.

而且，你知道，我们没有报警。

And, you know, we didn't call.

我的意思是，显然这不仅仅只是

I mean, so, you know, clearly it's not just

一次性的事件。

a one time thing.

对。

Right.

我的意思是，如果你报告了，他们上来检查后说一切正常，那之后就基本上不在你的掌控之中了。

I mean, if you report it and they come up and they say everything's fine, it's kind of out of your hands at that point.

嗯，而且我

Well, and I

这是你的职责，

It's your job as

作为公民。

a citizen.

而且我觉得这就是安全感的来源。

Well, and I think that's what security felt like.

我的意思是，在军队、警察部队，或者任何类似的组织中。

I mean, in, you know, the armed forces, I mean, the police force or whatever.

我觉得他们觉得自己做了我们能做的所有事，

I think they feel like we do what we

但我不知道。

can, but I I don't know.

这太让人难过了。

It's just so sad.

我心都碎了。

I I it broke my heart.

这真的很令人难过，因为很多女性也害怕举报家庭暴力。

It is really sad because a lot of women are afraid to report domestic violence too.

比如，不知道那扇门后面发生了什么。

Like, don't know what happened on the other side of that door.

那个女人可能因为害怕失去生命，所以会说，一切都很好。

That woman could have been so fearful for her life that she was like, yes, everything's fine.

哦，是的。

Oh, yeah.

我肯定。

I'm sure.

我的意思是，我看这些事真的很难过。

I mean, I watch it's so sad.

但我看了足够多的ID频道，才意识到这一点。

But I watch enough ID channel to realize that.

而且我经历过一些情况，你知道，日常发生的事会变成你生活中的常态。

And and I've been in scenarios where, you know, you you it become what happens on the daily in your life becomes your normal.

而且你几乎会想念它。

And it's almost like you miss it.

这不是身体虐待，但比如言语虐待。

It's not like physical abuse but like you know even verbal abuse.

你，那种戏剧性变得如此正常。

You you the drama becomes so normal.

嗯。

Mhmm.

我觉得我和肖恩很久以前就聊过这个。

And I think I think that Sean and I were talking about this for a very long time.

它就变成了你的常态，人们就是这样做的，而你却没意识到这其实不是正常行为。

It just it becomes your normal and it's just what people do and and you don't realize that is not what people do.

对。

Right.

你知道吗？

You know?

但没错，那感觉很好。

But yeah, it was, so it was good.

很棒。

It was great.

有时候去拉斯维加斯会让我有点难过。

Sometimes going to Vegas makes me kind of sad.

这很奇怪。

It's weird.

我看到人们，心想这可能是他们一天中最开心的时刻之类的。

I see people and I think this is the highlight of your day or whatever.

所以我喜欢去那里看看。

And so I like to go and visit.

很有趣。

It's fun.

我玩得很开心，但有些部分让我只是有点，你懂的

I had a great time, but there were some pieces of it that I was just kind of, you

你知道，拉斯维加斯确实有美好、糟糕和丑陋的一面。

know Vegas definitely has that good, bad, and ugly side.

你知道，我们也会在我们的Instagram上发布这些内容。

You know, that makes me we'll we'll put up on our Instagram too.

如果你处于一种觉得自己需要逃离的境地，我们会提供一个可以帮助你的组织的信息。

If you're in a situation that you feel like you need to get out of, we'll put information up from an organization that can help.

因为确实有一些组织致力于帮助女性脱离这些处境。

Because there are organizations out there that help get women out of those situations.

而且你知道，对于有孩子的人来说，这可能很可怕，他们会想：‘我会住进中途之家，或者无处可去。’

And you know, it's probably scary to somebody, especially with children to think like, oh, I'm gonna end up in a halfway house, or I'll have no place to go.

但这些组织正是为此而设立的，它们的存在就是为了帮你脱离这种处境。

But that's what these organizations are developed for and that's why they exist to get you out of that situation.

因为一切只需要一个契机，我的意思是，显然你已经越过了那条线。

Because all it takes is one, like, I mean, obviously you're already over that line.

但只需要一秒钟，情况就可能变得极其严重，然后你的孩子或你自己就会陷入无法脱身的境地。

But all it takes is one second for it to turn grave, and then your children or yourself are in a situation you can't get yourself far from.

你知道，作为女性，我们从不认为自己会陷入这样的境地。

You know, and I think as women, we never think we're gonna be in these situations.

我的意思是

I mean

女性往往觉得，因为我们是女性，我们可以自己解决这种情况，或者认为‘他真的很爱我’，但不，姑娘，你必须更爱自己和你的孩子，胜过你认为自己对他的爱。

Women like, because we're women, we think we can fix the situation on our own or we think like, oh, they really do love me or like, no girl, you gotta love yourself and your kids more than you think you love him.

是的。

Yeah.

或者她。

Well, and Or her.

我的意思是

Mean, it

两种情况都有可能。

could go either way.

不仅如此，你还得定义清楚，你和那个人之间的爱究竟是什么。

Not only that, but you gotta define what love is with that person.

对吧？

Right?

比如，爱意味着什么？

Like, does love mean?

对你来说，爱到底是什么样子的？

What does that really look like for you?

你知道吗，我在和不同的人约会，所以这总是我问的一个问题。

You know, I'm dating different people and so I kinda that's one of the things I always ask.

比如，爱是什么样子的？

Like, what does that look like?

爱是什么？

What is love?

因为那不是爱。

Because that's not love.

我总是说，行动胜于言辞。

And I always say actions speak louder than words.

我以前就跟巴布说过，因为我知道，我看着巴布约会，总是觉得你对朋友特别谨慎，你希望朋友能得到最好的。

And I've I've told Barb this before because I, you know, I watch Barb date and I'm always you you are so cautious for your friend or, you know, you want the best for your friend.

我觉得男人很容易，即使不考虑虐待的情况，男人也很容易给出所谓的正确答案。

And I think it's so easy for guys, even take an abusive situation out of it, but it's so easy for guys to give the correct answer, quote unquote.

你知道，当事情变得真实时，他们在真实情境中的表现才暴露了他们的本性。

You know, it's and then when something gets real, how they act in a real situation is their their true colors.

但给出正确的答案实在太容易了。

But it's so easy to give the correct answer.

是的。

Yeah.

我们得谈谈这个，因为这绝对是另一个话题。

We we gotta talk about that because that's that's definitely another episode topic.

好吧。

Alright.

那我们开始吧。

So let's do this.

在你离开之前，我有一件事必须告诉你，我非常喜欢这篇文章。

I've got a one thing you need to know before you go, and I love this article.

因此，疾控中心刚刚更新了儿童发育里程碑。

So the CDC has just updated their child development milestones.

他们已经有二十多年没有更新过了。

They haven't done it in, I think over two decades.

这个名为‘学习迹象，尽早行动’的项目是在2005年开发的。

So this program called learn learn the signs early act, It was developed in 2005.

自那以后就再也没有更新过。

It has not been touched since then.

而在如今儿童被诊断出自闭症频率大大增加的世界里，孩子们也被更多地诊断出多动症等其他问题，很多人会说，哦，是不是更多孩子被误诊了之类的。

And now in a world where children are diagnosed with autism so much more frequently now, Kids are diagnosed with ADHD and different things that, you know, a lot of people say like, oh, more kids are being misdiagnosed or whatever.

我不认为是这样。

I don't think that's the case.

我只是觉得，以前我们根本不知道该关注什么。

I just think we didn't know what we were looking for before.

现在，随着更多研究、更多资源以及更多父母愿意为孩子发声，我们才获得了更多的诊断。

And now with more research and more resources and more parents willing to stand up for their kids, now we are getting more diagnoses.

我完全同意这一点。

I totally agree with that.

没错。

Yeah.

百分之百同意。

Hundred percent.

所以这篇文章接着说，关键是这样：

So this article, it goes on to say, here's the thing.

如果你有孩子，而且是第一次当妈妈，你并不知道这些征兆。

If you have kids, you and you're a first time mom, you don't know the signs.

对吧？

Right?

孩子并不会自带一本操作手册，对吧。

Like kids don't come with a playbook Right.

或者使用说明书。

Or an instruction manual.

所以，作为新手父母，你会想：我什么时候该把孩子从我房间里的婴儿床移到他们自己的房间？

So you, as a first time mom or dad, are going, when do I put my kid when does my kid go from the bassinet in my room to their room?

我什么时候该开始……我根本不知道。

When do I start them I don't even know.

我什么时候该把孩子的汽车安全座椅调转方向？

When do I turn their car seat around?

对吧？

Right?

没错。

Right.

因为作为新手妈妈，我当时真的不知道。

Because a first time mom, I didn't know that.

我第一个儿子个子很高。

My my first son is really tall.

然后我，大概在他一岁的时候，就觉得，哦，我觉得是时候让他转过来了。

And I, at like a year, was like, oh, I think it's time to turn him around.

直到那时我做了研究才知道，不应该在孩子至少两岁前把他们的座椅转过来。

And I didn't know until I did the research at that point that you're not supposed to turn a kid's seat around until they're at least two.

对吧。

Right.

但他的腿都已经顶到前面了。

But his legs were like at his Right.

耳朵，你知道吗？

Ears, you know?

所以作为父母，我们有太多不知道的事情，而疾病控制中心和儿科学会现在介入并更新这些发育里程碑，这真是太好了。

So there are so many things that we don't know as parents and it's nice that the CDC and the American Academy of Pediatrics has now stepped in to change and update these developmental milestones.

他们甚至还实施了新的内容。

And they've even implemented new things as well.

所以现在父母、看护人或医疗保健提供者更容易发现是否存在潜在的发育迟缓、自闭症或其他似乎不太对劲的情况。

So now it's easier for a parent, a caretaker, a healthcare provider to find out if there are potential developmental delays or autism or something else that seems a little off.

他们更新的内容是每个年龄段的发展里程碑。

And they, the things that they updated were milestones at each age.

现在新增了15到30个月龄的检查清单。

There is now an added checklist for ages 15 to 30.

还有针对2个月至5岁儿童的健康检查和保健提供者的评估清单。

And there's a checklist for well care, wellness providers from two months to five years.

这些是他们提出的问题，以确保孩子达到相应的发展里程碑。

That these are questions that they're asking to make sure that kids are hitting their developmental miles milestones.

我之前曾跟你们分享过，我的大儿子卡什顿语言发育迟缓。

Now, I have shared with you guys before that my first son, Cashton, was speech delayed.

我记得去进行儿科健康检查时，他们会问一些问题，而我总是说：我

And I remember going into these pediatric well checks and they would ask questions and I'm like, I

不知道。

don't know.

是啊。

Yeah.

比如，他这个年纪该做这个吗？

Like, is he supposed to be doing that at

这个时候？

this point?

我觉得烦人的是，你感觉哪里不对劲，但又说不上来具体哪里不对，所以我没凭没据。

I think the irritating thing is you think there's something off, but maybe I can't put my finger on what And it so I don't have anything to base it from.

我该以什么为标准来判断呢？

What's a standard that I can base that from?

我记得他们问过一些问题，比如：你的孩子是喜欢和别人平行玩耍，还是更喜欢自己玩？

It was like, I remember questions like, does your child parallel play or prefer to play on their own?

我当时想：我不知道。

I'm like, I don't know.

他是我唯一的孩子。

He's my only kid.

他也没怎么和其他孩子互动，你知道的？

Like, he's not getting a whole lot of interaction with kids, you know?

而且我们这里也没有家人，所以他并不是和堂兄弟姐妹们一起长大的。

And we don't have any family here, so it's not like he's growing up with cousins and everything else.

所以我不清楚。

So I didn't know.

我记得因为缺乏同龄人的互动，很想让他早早上学。

And I remember wanting to put him into school at such an early age because he wasn't getting any peer interaction.

我以为这样或许能帮助他的语言发展。

And I thought maybe that would help his speech development.

但并没有用。

And it didn't.

我的意思是，我们不得不走到这一步——请了一位治疗师每周来两次给他做语言治疗。

I mean, had to get to the point where we actually hired a therapist to come in and he was doing speech therapy twice a week.

但你看，你很明智，因为我觉得很多父母都会想，他长大自然就会好起来的。

Well, see you're smart because I feel like so many parents, they think, well, he'll grow out of it.

你知道的？

You know?

很多家长

A lot of parents

都会这样。

do that.

而且我能理解你想要这样安慰自己。

And you want to tell yourself that I get.

但与此同时，越早干预并满足他们的需求，就越能促进发展。

But at the same time, the earlier you can intervene and start feeding what they need, then it really helps development.

是的。

Yeah.

你知道的。

You know?

所以这非常重要。

So it's so important.

是的。

Yeah.

所以看到这种情况正在发生很好，因为说实话，我绝不是什么育儿专家，但当你有了第二个孩子时，感觉真的完全不同。

So it's good to see that this is being done because I can't I mean, now, I'm not saying I'm a parenting expert by any way, shape, or form, but you feel so different when you have a second child.

现在你有了经验来参考这些事情。

And now you have an experience to base all this stuff on.

并不是说你应该把孩子互相比较，但至少你有了一个指导标准，比如：我的孩子应该在这个时候开始走路了。

Not that you should be comparing your children to each other, but at least you have like a guideline to know like, okay, my kid should be walking by this point.

对。

Right.

或者在这个时候应该具备核心力量了。

Or should have core strength by this point.

应该在这个时候能从俯卧位抬起头来了。

Should be pulling his head up off of, you know, tummy time by this point.

这很难，但现在有很多很棒的玩具和套装可以购买。

And it's so hard, but there's like there's so many great like toys and like kits now that you can get.

而且作为第二次当父母，我希望我第一次当父母时，我的朋友们已经有过孩子了。

And again, as a second time parent, I wish when I had cashed in, my friends had had kids at that point.

因为我是我们这群人里第一个当父母的，当时我除了儿科医生告诉我的之外，别无参考。

Because I was like the first one of our group to have kids, And I literally had nothing to go on other than what my pediatrician was telling me.

而且有时候，巴布，儿科医生也会说：‘他们会慢慢长好的。’

And even pediatricians sometimes, Barb, are like, oh, they'll grow out of it.

我们再等六个月，然后复查一下。

Let's wait six months and then we'll check again.

是的。

Yeah.

我认为，这种意识对孩子的帮助比人们通常认为的要大得多。

And I think I think that awareness helps your child more than they really give it credit for.

是的。

Yeah.

我读过的所有资料都说，一旦能开始治疗，就立刻开始吧。

I mean, everything I've read has said, you know, as soon as you can start therapy Yes.

语言治疗、作业治疗，都会带来巨大的改变。

Speech therapy, occupational therapy, it makes a huge difference.

我知道很多人非常害怕诊断所带来的污名。

I know a lot of people are so afraid of the stigma that is attached to a diagnosis.

但如果你选择对此保密，那也是你家庭的自由。

But you don't have like, if you choose to keep that private, whatever it is for your family.

但你为自己赋予的力量——让孩子获得他们所需帮助的力量——是无价的。

But the power that you give yourself to give your children the help that they need is invaluable.

所以，如果你觉得有什么不对劲，或者有那种直觉或感觉，就相信你的直觉。

So if you are if you think, you know, something is a miss or you have that inclination or that feeling, go with your gut.

为你孩子争取他们需要的帮助。

Get your kid the help that they need.

我同意这一点。

I agree with that.

如果这确实意味着一个诊断，那又怎样？

If it does mean a diagnosis, guess what?

那么保险就会覆盖它。

Then insurance will cover it.

而且不仅如此，这还会让你落后。

Well, and not only that, it puts you back.

你知道，我觉得在养育孩子的时候，你本来就感觉有点失控。

You know, I think when you're raising kids, you kind of feel out of control anyway.

嗯。

Mhmm.

但如果出现延误，你就真的完全失控了。

But then if there's a delay, you're really out of control.

所以这在某种程度上让你重新获得了一点掌控感：嘿，我正在尽我所能，帮你达到你应该达到的状态。

And so it sort of gives you a little control back into the place of, hey, I'm doing what I can to get you where you need to be.

对。

Right.

对吧？

Right?

我只是希望你能成为最好的自己，所以我会尽我所能来帮助你实现这一点。

I just want you to be the best version of you, so I'm gonna do what I can do to help you be that.

当然。

Absolutely.

是的。

Yeah.

我们也会把这篇文章和家庭暴力信息一起发布。

We'll put that article up as well with the domestic violence information too.

如果你认识身边有人正经历这些情况，欢迎随时联系我们。

So if you know someone in your life that's going through any of those things, feel free to reach out to us.

我们会把你引荐到合适的资源处。

We'll put you in the right place.

这两条信息都非常好。

That's really good info, both of those.

好了，各位。

Alright guys.

非常感谢大家本周与我们在一起。

Thank you so much for hanging with us this week.

有点严肃，但别担心。

A little serious, but don't worry.

我们很快会回到平时的调皮和欢乐。

We'll be back to our normal antics and fun.

正常的搞怪。

Normal goofiness.

大家周末愉快。

Have a great week y'all.

感谢收听《从母职到更年期》播客。

Thanks for listening to the mommyhood to menopause podcast.

如果你喜欢我们今天的内容，我们非常希望你能每周都来听。

If you like what you heard, we would love to have you join us weekly.

别忘了点赞、订阅并给我们评论。

Don't forget to like, subscribe, and review us.

除非你讨厌它，如果是那样，就去向别人要个拥抱，然后继续前行吧，姐妹。

Unless you hated it, in which case just ask someone for a hug and move along sis.

另外，别忘了在Instagram上关注我们，这里是排名第二的更年期播客 mommyhood，以及我们的个人页面：所有带F开头的词和Southern Blonde Chic。

Also, don't forget to follow us at mommyhood, the number two menopause podcast on Instagram and on our personal pages, all of the f words and Southern Blonde Chic.

谢谢收听。

Thanks for listening.