听众故事109：80年代的故事！

不过，我奶奶一个人待在下面总觉得不踏实。

Still though, my grandma felt uncomfortable being down there alone.

这真不能怪她。

Don't blame her.

是啊。

Yeah.

后来，房子里的这种存在感对每个家人影响都不一样。

Now the presence in the house affected each member of the house in different ways.

有些人受影响确实更严重。

Some certainly more severely than others.

比如我姑姑，总说半夜听见金属碰撞的哐当声。

My aunt, for example, would complain about hearing a metal on metal banging noise in the middle of the night.

我最烦这种声音了。

I hate that.

还有一次，她半夜看见天花板通风口有烟飘进来，不是往外冒，吓得大喊着火了。

She also cried fire one night after seeing smoke drifting into, not out of, the vent in her ceiling.

出事了。

There was an accident.

我得让你知道，我一开始以为她说的是‘着火了’。

I need you to know that I thought he meant she cried fire.

她哭了。

She cried.

我当时就懵了，什么鬼？

And I was like, what the fuck?

他倒是轻描淡写地……

And he just about casually

他就说，她收到一条消息，喊着‘着火了’。

And he just was like, she had a message one cried fire.

简直疯了。

It was crazy.

我当时就问：啥？

I was like, what?

这处理方式完全不一样。

That's handling it differently.

对啊。

Yeah.

这真的差别太大了。

Like, that's that's really different.

天哪。

Oh my goodness.

是啊。

Yeah.

这也太多了吧。

That's a lot.

我爸爸记得有一晚，他们在家楼下办派对，朋友都来了，外面下着暴风雪，乐队还在演奏。

My dad remembers one night they had a party with all their friends downstairs listening to the band play during a snowstorm.

乐队叫TM。

The band TM.

就是那个乐队。

You know, the band.

我爸喝多了，跑到楼上洗手间吐了，好一会儿没出来。

After a few too many drinks, my dad ended up getting sick in the upstairs bathroom and was gone for a while.

他可真像个八十年代的热血少年，又爬起来了。

He rallied like a true eighties teenager.

那可不。

Hell yeah.

等他出来，听见地下室传来乐队没录过的新歌。

And when he got out, he heard their unrecorded original songs coming from the basement.

可他推开门想回去继续玩的时候，灯全灭了，人全走光了。

But when he opened the door to rejoin the party, the lights were off and it was empty.

他上楼那会儿，暴风雪越来越猛，大家伙儿都提前散了。

The party had ended abruptly as the storm was getting worse and everyone went home while he was upstairs.

这什么情况？

What the hell?

他听到的那音乐，根本没法解释。

There was no explanation for the music he heard.

这分明是盗版。

That's pirating.

而且都是没录过音的？

And it's all it's unrecorded too?

是啊。

Yeah.

我靠？

What the fuck?

这我就不知道了。

I don't know about that.

大家都听过脚步声，门砰砰响，狗粮那股味儿也从来没散过。

Everyone would hear footsteps, doors would slam, the dog food smell never did go away.

哎哟，那我早炸了。

Oh, that would piss me off.

是的。

Yeah.

但那时候还没什么真正让人害怕的。

But nothing truly felt scary yet.

我觉得这已经挺吓人的了。

That feels scary to me.

直到有一天晚上，我叔叔醒来时喘不上气。

That was until my uncle woke up, unable to breathe one night.

这可真吓人。

That's scary.

但他记得自己当时被压住、勒住，拼命想挣脱，却喊不出声——不管是什么东西压着他，直到家人听到动静冲进来，才突然松开了。

But he remembers feeling held down and strangled, struggling to break free and being unable to cry for help, whatever it was that held over him, released when the family came in after hearing the commotion.

在情况升级、家里让人真真切切感到不安全之后，南找了个通灵者帮忙。

After the escalation and feeling genuinely unsafe in the home, Nan sought the help of a medium.

据她说，这人是全国第四有本事的通灵师。

According to her, this was the fourth most powerful medium in the country.

天啊。

Wow.

括号里还给灵媒排等级？

In parentheses, are mediums ranked?

我老对这种细节存疑。

I always question this detail.

谁知道呢。

Who knows?

我也不晓得这事儿。

I didn't know that either.

但他们同意来家里看看。

But they agreed to come inspect the house.

这位灵媒能感觉到一个灵魂的存在——以前的房主，还在这儿徘徊。

This medium could sense the presence of a spirit, a previous owner of the home still lingering.

他们还发现，地下室里有个该死的漩涡。

They also found out that there was a motherfucking vortex in the basement of the house.

不是什么漩涡。

Not a vortex.

我以前那房子啊，简直就是个地铁站，所有灵异玩意儿都来来往往。

As in my old house was a subway platform for all things spooky to come and go.

那位超能灵媒给了啥建议？

And what advice did mister supermedium give?

其实也做不了啥。

Not much you can do.

点点鼠尾草，祈祷好运吧。

Burn some sage and hope for the best.

至少它们一般没啥危险。

At least they're generally harmless.

那在漩涡里，它们也一般没危险吗？

Are they generally harmless in a vortex?

这可说不准。

You can't be sure.

是的。

Yeah.

可能会穿过去。

Could roll through.

那就像那个逃逸者豪宅。

That's like the escapeeer mansion.

地下室里有个漩涡。

There's a vortex in the basement.

因为有人违反了规矩。

Because somebody broke the rules.

对。

Yeah.

南对漩涡的情况还算满意，因为熏香确实止住了那些更激烈的异常行为，但那个常驻的灵体才更让她担心。

Nan was satisfied enough with the vortex situation as the smudging did stop the more violent behavior, but the resident spirit was more concerning to her.

她在阁楼翻找时，发现了一箱遗留下来的文件。

While going through the attic, she came across a box of paperwork left behind.

这照片是房主原来的， mostly 是些老税务文件之类的，但她惊讶地发现里面还有一张旧照片。

It belonged to the original owner of the home and was mostly old tax documents and such, but to her shock, there was also an old photograph.

黑白的，照片里是个灰头发、穿法兰绒衬衫和牛仔裤的男人，旁边还有一只看起来特别忠诚的金毛犬。

In black and white, it showed a man with grey hair, flannel shirt, and jeans, Pictured alongside a faithful looking golden retriever.

不用说你也猜到了，照片里这人就是那天南搬进来时看到的那道身影。

As I'm sure you've guessed, the man in the photo was the apparition Nan saw the day she moved into the house.

现在我知道了房主的名字，我就管他叫老乔吧。

Newly armed with the original owner's name, I'm gonna call him Old Joe.

这名字太棒了。

I love it.

我觉得这名字再合适不过了，真的很贴心。

I think that's the perfect name for him and I appreciate that.

是啊。

Yeah.

通过这张照片，她成功联系上了老乔还活着的亲戚。

In a picture of her ghost, she was able to reach out to one of Old Joe's surviving relatives.

太棒了。

That's awesome.

见过这位亲戚后，南才知道，老乔是镇上的铁匠，一直和他心爱的狗住在那所房子里，直到去世。

After meeting this relative, Nan learned that Old Joe was a blacksmith in town and lived there with his beloved dog until the day he died in the house.

等等。

Wait.

要是那个被勒死的人——你叔叔——其实只是狗趴在他身上呢？

What if the person that got strangled, your uncle, what if that was just the dog laying on him?

因为我知道，你晚上被狗压住的时候，会觉得喘不过气。

Because I know you feel strangled in the night when your dogs

对啊。

I do.

狗会压在你身上。

Lay on you.

有时候，狗睡觉时真的会压得你喘不过气。

Sometimes dogs do strangle you in your sleep.

不是故意的。

Not intentionally.

它们是爱你的。

They love you.

是啊。

Yeah.

就是个头太大了。

They're just big.

对啊。

Yeah.

是金毛。

A golden retriever.

那可是大狗。

That's a big dog.

简直就是一大坨狗。

They're big chunk of dog.

所以也许他就是趴在你叔叔身上？

So maybe he was just laying on your uncle?

对啊。

Yeah.

根本不是要撒娇，就是压着。

Was like, Not a snuggle.

没错。

Yeah.

为了避免显得自己疯疯癫癫，南没提她爷爷老乔还活着这事儿。

Not wanting to look crazy, though, Nan chose not to mention that her grandpa, Old Joe, is kicking around.

为了不让人觉得她怪，南没提爷爷老乔还健在，只谢过对方的故事，收下了文件和照片。

Not wanting to look crazy, Nan chose not to mention that her grandpa, Old Joe, was still kicking around, but instead thanked her for her story and left her the documents and photograph.

她明白了，那个幽灵般的邻居其实只是在守护这屋里的家人。

Knowing the story behind her spectral cohabitant and that he was really just looking out for the family in the house.

那些气味、金属碰撞的声音，毕竟他以前是个铁匠。

The smells, metal hitting metal sounds, he was a blacksmith after all.

哦，对啊。

Oh, yeah.

那些都是老乔在屋里时留下的残留灵异现象。

Were all just residual hauntings from old Joe's time in the house.

直到老乔对南下手了。

That was until old Joe made a move on Nan.

他说：‘不，别碰我。’

He said, naya, no me.

现在我们可熟了。

Now we're familiar.

到目前为止，故事里还没怎么提到我爷爷，爷爷。

Somewhat absent from the story so far has been my grandpa, Gramps.

哎呀。

Aw.

爷爷为了养家，每天凌晨两点三十就出门去上班。

Gramps worked two jobs to support the family, leaving the house at 02:30 a.

嗯。

M.

他得先去帮人补墙，然后才能去铁路上班，早上十一点才开始。

To go spackle houses before clocking in for his shift at the railroad at 11AM.

天哪。

Oh my gosh.

晚上八点左右才回家。

Getting home around eight at night.

他真是个拼命干活的人。

He's a hard worker.

南跟我说，他平时睡得跟死猪一样，但经常翻身，一翻身就把她压得够呛，她还得把他推回去。

Usually, Nan told me he would sleep like a rock, but oftentimes he would roll over in bed and she would end up getting crushed and pushing him back over.

哎呀，南，那种画面我真的不想想象。

Not at all something I wanted to picture, Nan.

有一天早上，她说她被那种熟悉的感觉弄醒了，但一瞧时间，吓了一跳。

One morning, she said she was woken up by this familiar feeling, but was alarmed by the time.

那时候快凌晨三点了。

It was about 3AM.

不管是不是午夜魔咒，这说明爷爷睡过头了，上班要迟到了。

Witching hour aside, this meant Gramps had overslept and was late for work.

她一下子惊醒，翻身想叫醒他，催他赶紧准备出门，结果发现床上就她一个人。

Instantly alert, she turned over to wake him up and rush him through his morning routine, but found that she was in bed alone.

天哪。

Oh my god.

老乔偷偷溜上床，贴得她特别近，她可受不了这个。

Old Joe snuck into bed with Nan and was starting to get all up close and personal, and she was not having it.

啊。

Oh.

那才是真正的神秘女孩。

That was It's mysticidio girl.

老乔。

Old Joe.

老乔又来这套了。

Old Joe out here.

老乔的灵异小女友。

Old Joe's mysticidio girl.

这事儿就是压垮骆驼的最后一根稻草。

That was the straw that broke the camel's back.

南妮能忍得了橱柜砰地关上。

Nan could tolerate cabinet slamming shut.

莫名其妙的响声。

Unexplained noises.

她能忍侄子睡觉时被勒得喘不过气，但绝不能忍

She could tolerate her nephew getting choked out in his sleep, but she would not abide by a

一个没实体的抱抱怪。

noncorporeal cuddle buddy.

这话说得在理。

That's fair.

那天早上，南找牧师来给房子驱邪。

That morning, Nan contacted her pastor to come exercise the house.

让她有点失望的是，她发现浸信会不做驱魔仪式。

A bit to her dismay, she learned that Baptists don't do exorcisms.

啊。

Ah.

不过为了让她安心，牧师乐意来每个房间祷告，为房子祝福。

But to put her mind at ease, he would be happy to come over and pray in each room and bless the house.

这招也不一定管用。

That doesn't always work.

据说这招还真见效了，之后他们住在房子里的那几年，所有灵异现象都消失了。

Reportedly, this seemed to do the trick and all paranormal activity stopped for the remaining years they lived in the house.

喊叫。

Yell.

我才不会喊呢。

I will not yell.

今天这事儿也太疯了。

This includes some crazy today.

简直要炸了。

Is like go nuts.

这太八十年代了。

This is very eighties.

真的超有八十年代那味儿。

It is very eighties.

超，全释放出来吧。

Chao, let it all out.

天哪。

Oh my god.

你也喜欢把眼泪和恐惧混在一起吗？

Do you also love tears for fears?

我就爱哭。

Love tears.

你觉得他们是不是一首接一首全是神曲？

Do you also think they have banger after banger after banger?

一首接一首？

After banger?

我肯定到处跟人安利这个。

Because I'd be telling everybody this.

我同意。

I agree.

尼古拉斯肯定听我说过。

Nicholas has heard me.

我超爱Tears for Fears。

I love Tears for Fears.

我也超爱。

I do too.

这包括我在那儿待的两年。

So this includes my two year stint there.

我刚出生从医院回家，就是被送到那栋房子里的，后来我年纪还很小的时候我们就搬走了。

I was brought home from the hospital in that house, and we moved out when I was very young.

我们搬出那天，那房子又露出了它的真面目。

It was the day that we moved out of the house that it showed its face again.

搬家最后一天，我们道别离开的时候，屋里的门突然自己砰砰地关上了。

After the final sweep of moving day, the doors inside could be heard slamming as we said our goodbyes and left.

它们是舍不得你走。

As they were upset you were going.

对啊。

Yeah.

也可能是巴不得你赶紧滚。

Or they were like good riddance.

总得是这两种情况之一。

One of the two.

反正就是其中之一。

One of them.

不是。

No.

可能有两个。

Maybe two.

我之前说过，南是在我上初中时给我讲这个故事的。

As I mentioned, Nan told me this story when I was in middle school.

一开始确实把我吓了一跳，但我听过的鬼故事多了去了，自己又从来没亲眼见过，所以压根没当真。

And while it had me freaked out a bit at first, I'm no stranger to a ghost story and having no firsthand experiences with myself, I never really believed it.

直到上了高中，我的英语老师碰巧是我爸的童年好友——小地方的缘分嘛。

That was until I got to high school and my English teacher happened to be a childhood friend of my dad's, Small Town Perks.

真有意思。

Oh, that's cute.

开学第一周，她就跟我聊起她和你爸、你叔叔一起参加青年小组的回忆，还有夏天在你祖父母家泳池玩的事，以及那栋房子里住着的鬼。

First week of school, she told me how many great memories she had, youth group with your dad and uncle, summers in your grandparents pool, and the ghost that lived in the house.

这就对上了。

Confirmation.

直到很多年后，我才第一次听到家人以外的人主动提起这个故事。

It wasn't until years after being told the story that I had it corroborated with someone outside my immediate family unprompted.

感觉整个镇上的人都知道我老房子里闹鬼的事。

It felt like the whole town knew about the ghost in my grand in in my old house.

我问过好多人，说法都一致，现在我确信我小时候住的那房子，被一个叫老乔的铁匠鬼魂缠上了。

And with consistent accounts from everyone I've asked, I am convinced that my childhood home was haunted by a pervial blacksmith named Old Joe.

我也信了。

I'm convinced too.

故事就讲到这里。

So that's the story.

你要是都看到这儿了，那我就不道歉了，刚才那段确实有点啰嗦。

If you read this far, then I don't feel bad for not apologizing for the leg thoroughly.

别道歉。

Never apologize.

我知道你们女生肯定不会删掉这段的。

I know you ladies wouldn't have edited it.

好了，不扯了。

Anyhoo.

不用了。

No.

不过我还是为刚才的啰嗦和语法错误道个歉。

I do apologize for any ramblings or grammatical errors, though.

继续保持真实，顺便来点怪诞的风格吧。

Please keep it keeping it real alongside that with a healthy dose of weirdness.

永远的灵异布莱恩。

Forever, spooky Brian.

另外我还附了一张照片，是我住在那房子时和我们的大麦町犬Misty的合照，那时候我还是个小宝宝。

And I love PS attached a photo of a little baby me with our dalmatian Misty from when I lived in the house.

她是一只特别乖的狗，就是傻得能连袋子、绳子一起吞下一整条面包。

She was a sweet dog, but dumb enough to eat an entire loaf of bread, bag, twist tie, and all.

布莱恩，这故事讲得太棒了。

Brian, that was a great story.

我超爱你们那个有点色的老铁匠。

I love your pervy old blacksmith.

简直着迷了。

Obsessed.

超爱斯蒂尔小姐。

Love mister Steele Girl.

我真的挺感激的。

I do appreciate it.

尼古拉斯也在这么说。

Nicholas Nicholas is expressing that too.

尼古拉斯也挺喜欢的。

Nicholas liked it.

行吧。

Okay.

第二个故事。

Tale number two.

理查德·拉米雷斯又跑去我家爸妈窗户那儿晃悠。

Richard Ramirez doubled down on visiting my parents' window.

哦。

Oh.

那是八十年代的事了。

It was the eighties.

那时候是八十年代。

It was the eighties.

我爸妈当时住在洛杉矶，说来也巧，离拉比安卡家还挺近的。

And my parents were living in LA, unrelated, but coincidentally, close to the La Bianca house.

哦。

Oh.

天哪。

Damn.

我老爸白天是个温文尔雅的上班族。

My dad was a mild mannered professional by day.

晚上呢，他每周好几次去玩摇滚乐队打鼓。

By night, played drums in a rock band multiple times a week.

那当然了。

Hell yeah.

摇滚起来！

Rock on.

这些八十年代的故事里，最酷的家庭莫过于此了。

The coolest families in these eighties tales.

那感觉就是纯粹在嗨摇滚。

It was just like rocking out.

那时候人人都特别有范儿。

Everybody was cooler.

我妈妈平时常陪他去看演出，但那天晚上她留在家里，决定在他回来前先上床睡觉。

My mom would often go to gigs with him, but on this night, she was hanging at home and decided to head bed, head to bed before he was back.

那天晚上天气挺热，她就打开卧室的窗户，想让凉风透进来。

The weather was warm and she decided to get some breeze flowing into their second story apartment window through their bedroom window.

别那样做。

Don't do that.

就是那种老式往上拉的窗户，没装纱窗。

Which was one of the old school ones that slid up and didn't have a screen.

哦。

Oh.

那时候窗户都没纱窗的。

There were windows without screens back then.

谁需要纱窗啊？

So who needs a screen?

什么鬼？

What the fuck?

八十年代嘛。

Eighties.

我第一次听这故事时问她，为啥非得那样做，她拖着腔说：八十年代呗。

In first hearing this story, I asked her why she felt compelled to do that, and she just dragged and said, it was the eighties.

我爸爸还没回来，她当时正迷迷糊糊要睡着了。

My dad was still out and she was drifting off to sleep as she was.

她听见窗外的树上有点儿动静。

She heard a mild commotion in the tree right outside their window.

天哪。

Oh, no.

我真不想听见树上有任何响动。

I don't ever wanna hear a tree commotion.

哪怕一点小动静都不行。

Not even a mild one.

以上全都不行。

None none none of the above.

对啊。

Yeah.

她以为是猫头鹰、猫，或者别的夜行小动物，一开始也没太在意。

Figuring it was an owl or a cat or some other nocturnal critter, she didn't pay it much attention at first.

但后来声音越来越大了。

But then it started getting loud.

不行。

No.

这绝对不可能是动物弄出来的动静。

Way too loud to be an animal.

不行。

No.

她居然又干了件蠢事——直接从床上爬起来，探头去看窗外。

In another what the fuck were you thinking move, she got out of bed and peered over the windowsill.

她看见一脑袋黑发正从树枝间慢慢挪过来。

There, she saw a mop of black hair making its way through the branches.

要是那人再往上走一两步，俩人就要面对面撞上了。

And if the person it belonged to took one more step or two up, they'd be face to face.

不行。

No.

我拿个锅就冲上去打

I would get a pan and whack

鼹鼠。

a mole.

是啊。

Yeah.

我真的会抓个重物

Truly, I'd grab like

砸下去。

a weight.

打鼹鼠。

Whack a mole.

直接往下砸。

Just drop.

快从我的树上滚开。

Get out of my tree.

巧的是，我爸爸正好那会儿到家，他一开玄关的灯，问老婆在搞什么名堂，那个神秘的怪东西立马吓得爬上了树，溜进夜色里。

In wild but fortunate timing, my dad was just getting home and the hall light and him asking what in the world his wife was doing sent the new mysterious creep shimmying right up into the tree away into the night.

吓人归吓人，但应该就一次吧？

Unsettling as hell, but probably an isolated event, right?

是的。

Yeah.

不是。

No.

根本不是。

No.

就在接下来的一两周内，他又回来了。

Within the next week or two, he or week or so, he came back.

这次我爸妈都在家，可压根没把上次的事当回事。

Both of my parents were home this time and clearly didn't heed their previous experience.

这家伙，直接从窗户跳进来了。

Guys, Jumping the window.

那扇窗户又开着。

That window was open again.

那时候理查德·拉米雷斯刚开始干那些骇人听闻的勾当，城里才刚有点儿关于连环杀手的风声。

I will note that this was during the time Richard Ramirez was just starting out his horrendous mayhem and, sparking only potential serial killer buzz.

所以吧，考虑到那会儿是八十年代，我也就勉强原谅他们了。

So I guess between that and the eighties of it all, I'll give them a teeny bit of a pass.

我特别喜欢这点——他根本没散发出那种恐怖的连环杀手气场，就是有点儿隐隐约约的传言。

I love that it's like, he wasn't like sparking intense serial killer vibes, just like There was light Rumors.

就那种轻度连环杀手。

Just light serial killer.

只要一听到有连环杀手的风声，我立马就得进入全面戒备模式，跟《大屠杀》里一样。

If there's even a whisper serial killer vibes, I'm getting a full like Purge style.

是的。

Yeah.

一有动静，我立马就

Like, press a button and I'm

放在一个金属盒子里。

in like a metal box.

百分百。

100%.

其实我本来就想去看看那个地方。

I actually would like access to that anyways.

哦，对啊。

Oh, yeah.

我真想拥有一个。

I would love that.

每次我看这部电影，都想着：这玩意儿我咋才能搞到手？

Whenever I've seen that movie, I'm like, how do I How get do I get that?

我懂。

I know.

所以我们还是原谅他们吧。

So we're giving them a pass.

你就是啊。

Well, you are.

你就是。

You are.

我不是。

I'm not.

我们不是。

We're not.

对啊。

Yeah.

树叶沙沙响，树枝咔嚓作响。

Leaves rustled, branches crunched.

那个家伙明明就在树上，他们还瞥见了他的脸，还有那头标志性的头发。

That same dude was absolutely in the tree and they were catching glimpses of his face along with that familiar hair.

哦，那张脸真恶心。

Oh, that gross face.

我老爸，说实话，连我都觉得他...

My dad, who even I know, honestly.

就算他当年最风光的时候，也完全不是那种吓人的主儿，他拿的是一台吸尘器。

Even back in his heyday, was not exactly a terror inducing individual, brandished That's good.

他拿的是吸尘器。

Brandished a vacuum.

吸尘器。

A vacuum.

说实话，你这么干倒挺好的，因为太出人意料了。

You gotta do honestly, that might be good because it's so shocking.

就是，纯粹靠冲击力。

Like, it's so Shock value.

谁会想到这一招啊。

Like, you wouldn't think of that.

就是个吸尘器。

It's a vacuum.

所以你就觉得，这人疯了吧。

So you're just like, this guy's crazy.

可能吧。

It might

用吸尘器就能把你拦住。

stop you with a vacuum.

真能把你当场震慑住。

It might stop you in your tracks.

这话在理。

That's fair.

对。

Yeah.

然后你还写了，真的假的。

And then you wrote, yes, really.

对。

Yeah.

他像握棒球棒一样拿着它，朝窗外猛打，还大喊：‘滚开！’

And held it like a bat, whacking it out the window and yelling, hey, get out of here.

他这招够狠。

Good for him.

总比啥都不做强吧。

Better than nothing, I guess.

但你想想，那男人的装备肯定比吸尘器厉害多了。

But you think the man would be more strapped than you'd think the man would be more strapped than a Hoover.

他说，这已经是手边最有劲儿的东西了，K。

He defends it was the closest thing with some oomph to it, K.

爸。

Dad.

所以，出其不意这招彻底泡汤了，那人撒腿就跑。

So, again, the element of surprise dashed and the man took off.

这次，我爸妈直接报了警。

This time, my parents called the police.

他们来了，录了口供，说会去附近挨家挨户查一查。

They arrived, took statements, and noted they'd do a sweep of the neighborhood.

结果啥也没找着，但那棵树再也没见过晚上来的人。

Nothing resulted from that, but the tree saw no more nighttime visitors.

转眼到了理查德·拉米雷斯被捕那天，电视上到处都是他的照片。

Fast forward to the day Richard Ramirez was arrested, and of course, his image was everywhere on TV.

我爸妈对视一眼，几乎同时脱口而出：就是他。

So my parents looked at each other wide eyed and said, almost in unison, that was him.

现在我爸妈早就离婚了，这些年几乎没在哪件事上达成过一致。

Now, my parents are long since divorced and didn't agree about much for years.

但最近我跟老爸讲起我妈说的这段往事，他居然能接上话，说这事他一辈子都忘不了。

But when I recently regaled my dad with memories of this tale from my mom, he was finishing sentences and noted it was something he'd never forgot.

真够呛。

Damn.

我最爱的妈妈去年去世了，抱歉。

My beloved mom unfortunately died last I'm I'm sorry.

走得太早了，但我敢肯定，她要是知道这故事上了播客，准得乐开花。

Gone way too soon, but I know she would have gotten a kick out of having this story shared on the podcast.

她骨子里就是个真罪案和黑暗历史迷，我们总能一聊就是好几个钟头，互相推荐各种播客和纪录片。

She was a true crime and dark history gal through and through, and we would spend many an hour chatting about different stories and trading podcast and documentary recommendations.

妈妈，我最想你了。

Miss you the most, mom.

我给你们放张我和她的合照，再附上几张我家狗的——它跟这故事其实没关系，但跟所有事都有关。

I'm including a picture of me and her for you ladies to see, along with a few of my dog who technically has nothing to do with this story, but everything to do with everything.

她是不是长得特天使脸？

And isn't she an angel face?

谢谢阅读，继续保持怪诞，爱丽卡。

Thanks for reading and keep it weird, Erica.

天哪。

Oh, my God.

这张照片真美。

That is a beautiful photo.

还有你那条裙子，天哪，你穿得真美，你妈妈那条也特别好看。

And that dress that first of all, your dress is gorgeous and your mom's dress is so pretty.

你妈妈剪了这个精灵短发，简直太飒了。

Your mom in that pixie cut is a slay.

太绝了。

Bitch.

那你婚礼那天的发型呢？

And your hair on your wedding day?

是啊。

Yeah.

真有意思。

Funny.

啊，好喜欢这张照片。

Oh, love that picture.

对了，你家狗狗其实跟这事息息相关，真的有关。

Oh, and your dog does have everything to do with He does.

他有点爱卖弄。

He gets a little tongue.

他跟所有事都脱不了干系。

He has everything to do with everything.

这一集其实是她家狗赞助的。

This episode is actually brought to you by her dog.

没错。

Yes.

我超爱这只狗。

I love that dog.

当然了。

Absolutely.

不过那真是个疯疯癫癫的故事啊。

Oh, that was a crazy fucking story though.

不，我气就气在他居然去找你老公，最让我受不了的就是他见了你老公。

No, I hate that he was coming to your what kills me is that he saw the husband.

是的

Yeah.

一开始被他老公突然出现吓到了，但后来还是回来了，知道他肯定在那儿。

Got freaked out by the husband showing up, but then came back knowing he would be there.

对

Mhmm.

他这么干了好几次。

And he did that several times.

不，但这就是

No, but that's the

他的特点。

thing about him.

他之所以这么吓人，就是因为他根本没底线，什么事都做得出来。

That's why he was so scary because there was just like nothing on There was no limits.

是的

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

哦。

Oh.

你还记得有人说他呼出的气息像湿皮革吗？

Remember people said his breath smelled like wet leather?

真恶心。

Ew.

对啊。

Yeah.

他特别爱吃糖。

He loved candy.

臭嘴一个。

Stanky Chops.

真恶心。

Ew.

他超爱糖果。

He loved candy.

对啊。

He did.

他是不是整天都在狂吃糖？

Didn't he eat, like, a lot of candy all the time?

你这么说的话

The way you say

你之前还说他超爱糖果呢。

you were like, he loved candy.

恶心。

Ew.

说真的，那简直是我见过最离谱的——那 guy 简直爱死棒棒糖了。

Well, like, that's that was the worst thing you'll ever Because it's, like That man loved a lollipop.

你想想看，理查德·拉米雷斯吃糖果的样子——我本来想说 cabbage patch kids。

Because picture Richard Ramirez eating, like, cabbage I was gonna say cabbage Patch Kids.

说实话，这真是我见过最吓人的画面，我刚才真想象出来了。

Honestly, that's the scariest thing you have ever I just pictured that.

就光想着那些小棉娃娃。

Just numbing on cabbage Patch Kids.

他确实会。

He would.

他牙齿可尖了。

He had, like, sharp teeth.

真恶心。

Ew.

我受不了了。

I hate it.

我干嘛说这个啊？

Why did I say that?

天啊。

God.

你刚在我脑子里造出个最让人毛骨悚然的画面。

I You just created the most unsettling visual in my mind.

天哪。

Oh no.

快有人把这画面画出来。

Somebody make that picture.

天哪。

Oh no.

哎呀，我说的是酸酸糖，不是卷心菜。

Oh man, I meant Sour Patch Kids.

操。

Fuck.

我刚才还纳闷呢，你是不是说‘卷心菜’？

I was wondering, I was like were you saying cabbage?

我是说‘酸酸糖’。

Like sour patch.

我当时在想

I was

我觉得他根本没吃卷心菜，那只是他问题的一部分。

like I don't think he was eating cabbage, that was part of his problem.

他其实需要点卷心菜。

He needed some cabbage.

天啊。

Oh, man.

我的天哪。

Oh, my God.

行吧。

Alright.

接下来这个故事讲的是一栋房子里，一个朋友大喊‘快滚，你在我卧室！’，结果碰上了一个爱吃土豆球的鬼魂，俩人搞出了一场超带感的八十年代大乱炖。

So this next one is the story of a house in which a friend shouting, get out, he's in your bedroom, and a tater tot loving ghost meet up for one hell of an eighties mashup.

这里面有一样东西格格不入。

One of these things is not like the other.

这标题也太炸了。

What a fucking title.

他就在你卧室里，还有个爱吃土豆饼的鬼。

He's in your bedroom and a tater tot loving ghost.

是啊。

Yeah.

我以后变成鬼肯定也是这样。

That's gonna be me when I'm a ghost.

我刚想说呢，我就是个爱吃土豆饼的人。

I was literally just gonna say I'm a tater tot loving person.

一想到土豆饼就走不动道。

So heavy with a tater tot.

那当然了。

Hell yeah.

说真的，我超爱这个。

In fact, I really like some.

红薯做的薯饼？

A sweet potato tater tot?

对啊。

Oh, yeah.

这玩意儿绝了。

That shit slaps.

确实太棒了。

It really does.

行吧。

Alright.

咱们中午吃薯饼吧。

Let's get tater tots for lunch.

好啊。

Yeah.

就这么定了。

Period.

就这么定了。

Period.

就这么定了。

Period.

首先。

First.

不过在那之前，我要像很多人之前那样说，你们俩简直是稀有珍宝。

But first, first, I will gush, as have many before me, that you two are absolute unicorns.

谢谢。

Thank you.

谢谢。

Thank you.

你真是个特别棒的珍宝。

You're very, very good unicorn.

哦，是吗？

Oh, is that?

谢谢。

Thank you.

谢谢。

Thank you.

我不知道。

I don't know.

我突然就想到了。

It just came to me.

我喜欢这个。

I like that.

谢谢。

Thank you.

真的很感谢你为每个故事倾注的温情与用心。

Really appreciate the compassion and care you put into each story.

谢谢。

Thank you.

我觉得

I feel that

受害者都得到了尊重和尊严，而且你的研究非常严谨。

the victims are treated with respect and dignity and that your research is tight.

没错，戴夫。

And hell yeah, Dave.

戴夫。

Dave.

谢谢你做你自己，艾琳娜。

Thank you for being you, Alaina.

要不是我这把年纪，我真要以为你是我在找的亲妹妹了，咱俩想法太像了。

If I wasn't old as fuck, I would swear that you are my long lost sister because we think a lot alike.

总之，继续做你们这些了不起的人在做的事吧。

Anyhoo, keep doing what you awesome humans do.

我听了大概三个月了，现在都听到第219集了。

I have been listening for about three months, and I'm already on episode two nineteen.

我简直着迷了。

I'm obsessed.

如果你决定读我的故事，我已经把名字都改了，我自己也用了化名。

If you choose to read my story, I've changed the names, and I am providing a pseudonym for myself.

八十年代的事，就让它留在八十年代吧。

What happened in the eighties stays in the eighties.

那啥来着——

What's the

黛比前几天说的那个词是什么？

thing that Debbie said the other day?

潘德普卢姆？

A pendeplume?

哦，对，就是那个。

Oh, yeah.

我超爱这个词。

I love that.

笔名。

A nom de plume.

笔名。

Nom de plume.

我就知道不是那样。

I knew it wasn't like that.

我喜欢‘笔名’这个词。

I like nom de plume.

笔名。

Nom de plume.

故事发生在1982年。

The scene is 1982.

我当时在上大学。

I'm in college.

一个时代的开端。

The beginning of a decade.

你看，她可清楚这十年里啥事儿咋回事儿。

See, she knows where things lie in a decade.

别操心这个。

Don't worry about that.

就是数字的事儿。

Numbers.

场景是1982年。

The scene is 1982.

我当时上大学，一整个夏天就想逃出家，离那个破小镇远远的——那儿连漆都快干透了，无聊得要死。

I'm in college and want nothing more than to not have to live at home in my small ass watch the paint dry town during the summer.

有几个朋友在大学城边上租了栋房子过暑假，就在伊利诺伊中部那块儿，我立马就答应了。

Some friends were renting a house for the summer on the outskirts of our college town, somewhere in Central Illinois, and I was all in.

我们幻想着一个疯狂又嗨翻的夏天。

We envisioned a summer of fun and mayhem.

住得离镇子远，想咋吵就咋吵，反正不会吵到本地人。

By living on the outskirts of town, we could be as loud as we wanted and not bother townie neighbors.

我们当然没想过，要是没人听得见我们，那我们简直就是给那些不怀好意的人送上门的靶子。

We, of course, did not think about the fact that if no one could hear us, we might be excellent targets for humans who were up to no good.

是啊。

Yeah.

这事后面再说。

More on that later.

你想象一下1982年。

So imagine 1982.

你们俩那时候还没出生呢。

Neither of you were born yet.

我都老得掉渣了。

I'm old as fuck.

你也没那么老，亲爱的。

You're not that old, darling.

对。

Yeah.

那房子里的发胶就够要命了，要是头发没先戳瞎你的眼睛的话。

The hairspray alone in the bathroom of that house could kill you if the hair itself didn't poke an eye out.

明白了吧？

See?

啊，Aquanet，真是怀念你啊。

Ah, Aquanet.

我真是想死你了。

How I miss you so.

我自己倒是更偏向朋克风。

I was more of a punk myself.

那可不，你就是典型的朋克。

Hell, yeah, you were.

我们那时候可是全身上下都是尖刺，那阵势可不小。

But we had a whole spike we had the whole spike thing going on.

所以说，那会儿的东西，哪样不是致命武器啊。

So, you know, still lethal weapon type stuff.

哦，你懂那种叫自由尖刺的发型吗？

Oh, you know those, like, liberty spikes?

对，知道。

Oh, yeah.

那玩意儿太酷了。

Those are so cool.

确实挺酷的。

Those are cool.

有一晚，我们办了个特别搞笑又乱糟糟的派对，把八十年代那些经典元素全给整上了。

One night, we threw a particularly hilarious and chaotic party that involved many of the things that the eighties are known for.

我真没骗你，那晚有人把客厅墙上的镜子摘下来，居然让屋里下起了雪。

I kid you not that at that party, someone took a mirror off our living room wall and made it snow.

那时候长大真好，根本不知道这些玩意儿有多伤身，唯一的安全提示就是：万圣节别吃没包装的糖果。

It really was a great time to grow up before we knew how bad many of these things were for us and to have very little safety instructions other than to not eat candy that wasn't wrapped on Halloween.

又来一波小布娃娃了。

More Cabbage Patch Kids.

不行。

No.

别吃那些。

Don't eat those.

别这么干。

Don't do that.

天哪。

Oh, no.

哎呀不好。

Oh, no.

老人家在用电脑。

The old is using the computer.

我不知道怎么让他停下。

I don't know how to make it stop.

哎呀不好。

Oh, no.