改变我人生的3个尴尬时刻

好的。

All right.

今天，我要讲几个发生在我身上的尴尬故事。

Today, I'm going to talk about some embarrassing stories that happened to me.

这三个时刻让我感到尴尬得不行，但也正因为这种痛苦，我内心发生了改变。

These are three moments where I felt that sting of embarrassment, but something changed in me because it was so painful.

就像人们说的，有时候伤口就是那扇门。

As they say, sometimes the wound becomes the door.

我觉得我能主宰世界。

I feel like I could rule the world.

我知道我能成为我想成为的人。

I know I could be what I want to.

我全力以赴，从不休息。

I put my all in it like no days off.

走在少有人走的路上，从不回头。

On the road less traveled, never looking back.

我觉得在任何社交场合里，我本质上都在拼命避免尴尬。

I think in every social situation, I am fundamentally, at some level, just actively trying to avoid embarrassment.

可能比避免痛苦和死亡还要上心，因为我根本不会去想那些，但我绝对会想自己可能怎么出丑。

Probably even more than trying to avoid pain and death, because I don't even think about those, but I definitely think about ways I could be embarrassed.

然而，尴尬似乎总能找到我，而且还挺频繁的。

And yet, embarrassment seems to find me, and it finds me somewhat often.

不过尴尬也有它的好处。

And there is an upside to the embarrassment.

等那股刺痛过去，痛苦消失之后，通常会有一些学习、一些成长、一些收获。

After the sting wears off and the pain is gone, there is usually some sort of learning, some sort of growth, some sort of benefit.

但就算知道这些，我也不会主动去找尴尬。

But even knowing that, I don't go look for embarrassment.

我还是会积极地去避免它。

I still actively try to avoid it.

所以第一个故事是，我最近卖掉了一家公司，赚到了我这辈子最多的钱。

So the first story, I recently sold a company and made more money than I've ever made in my life.

有了这笔钱，随之而来的是一些让人烦心的问题，没人想听的那种，你就会觉得‘唉，我真不知道该怎么办了’。

And with that gain comes the obnoxious problems that nobody wants to hear about, where you're just sort of like, "Ugh, I don't know what to do anymore."

所以我请了一位教练，算是人生方向教练吧，一开始他让我做了个性格测试。

And so I hired this coach, this sort of life direction coach, and he has me take a personality test at the beginning.

他跟我说：‘这个性格测试会有点奇怪。

And he tells me, "This personality test is going to be kind of weird.

跟普通的测试不太一样。’

It's not like a normal one."

但他又说：‘别担心，把所有问题都答完就行。’

But he's like, "Don't worry, just answer all the questions."

然后我就开始回答这些问题。

So I'm answering all these questions.

有些是关于工作的，有些是关于个人生活的，还有些是关于人际关系的。

Some are about work, some are about personal life, some are about relationships.

我把这些问题都答完了。

I answer all these questions.

我觉得那个测试挺直白的，也挺简单的，我就尽量诚实地回答了。

I thought it was pretty straightforward, pretty easy, and I tried to answer them as honestly as possible.

几周后，他说：“你想看看测试结果吗？”

A few weeks later, he says, "You want to see the results of that test?"

“当然想啊。”

"Yeah, absolutely."

然后他调出一张幻灯片。

And he pulls up this slide.

上面有很多类别，我在所有类别上得分都很低。

There's all these categories, and I have low scores on all these categories.

但有一项得分高得离谱，我眯着眼睛凑近去看那是什么。

And there's one score where I'm off the charts, and I squint, and I lean in to zoom to see what it is.

上面写着：“自恋”。

And it just says, "Narcissism."

我没开玩笑，我得了110分。

I had, no joke, 110 on the scale.

自恋型人格倾向得分超过了100。

It was over 100 on the narcissistic personality tendency score.

作为一个自恋者，我当时就想：“没错，

And as a narcissist, I was like, "That's right.

我赢了。”

I win."

然后我就问：“这是什么？”

And so I'm like, "What is this?"

他说：“是的，你在这个项目上得分非常高。”

And he's like, "Yeah, so, you scored very high on this thing."

这家伙是在说我混蛋、傲慢、自恋吗？

Is this guy calling me an asshole and arrogant and narcissistic?

我真的是这样吗？

And am I?

等等，我好像确实是。

Wait, I kind of am.

那是什么意思？

What does that mean?

然后我的脑子就开始乱转。

And so my head is swirling.

接下来五分钟我根本没在听他说话。

I'm not even listening to him for the next five minutes.

我又在想着自己，正好证明了他的观点。

I'm just, again, thinking about myself and proving his point.

其实我确实从中学到了点关于自己的宝贵东西，我来跟你分享这个教训。

And I actually learned something pretty valuable about myself, and I'll share with you the lesson.

可能你们大多数人不会在自恋量表上得110或115分，但也许有些内容对你们也适用。

Probably most of you won't score 110 or 115 on the narcissism scale, but maybe some of this might apply to you.

所以，关于这个特质，它不是评判或侮辱，而是需要你注意的东西。

So, the thing about this trait is, it's not a judgment or an insult, but it is something to be aware of.

我当时就想：“好吧。”

I was like, "Okay."

然后他说：“有这种特质的人，意思是他们觉得自己很特别，自己的人生也会很特别，而且世界的常规、平均值、规则对他们来说并不完全适用。”

So he was like, "People who have this trait, what it means is that they feel like they are special, and their life is going to be special, and that the norms of the world, the averages, the rules of the world don't fully apply to them."

听起来耳熟吗？

Sound familiar?

我当时就说：“对。

I was like, "Yeah.

是的。

Yes.

其实我记得我在测试里填过这个。

Actually, I remember filling that in on the test.

完全正确。”

Absolutely."

而且我一直以此为傲，不想平庸，想与众不同，想过特别的生活，觉得你可以告诉我所有的平均值。

And I've always taken great pride in that, of not wanting to be ordinary, of wanting to be extraordinary, of wanting to have a special life, of feeling like, great, you can tell me all the averages.

那些对我都不适用。

Those don't apply to me.

我就是那个例外。

I'm the outlier.

然后他说：“这对你一直有帮助，对吧？”

And he goes, "That's served you, hasn't it?"

我说：“是的。”

I said, "Yeah."

“但是，对你有帮助的东西也可能毁了你。”

"Well, what served you can also screw you.

剂量决定毒性。

The dose makes the poison.

如果你相信这一点，你就不会接受你不应该去创业。

If you believe that to be true, then you're not going to accept that you shouldn't go start a business.

90%的生意都会失败。”

90% of businesses fail."

“好吧，我很特别。”

"Well, I'm special.

我会不一样的。

I'll be different."

这会让你去采取行动。

And it'll get you to go take action.

但问题是，为什么这叫自恋而不是自信或自我信念，是因为你不知道自己特别在哪里。

But the thing about it, why it's called narcissism instead of just self-confidence or self-belief, is you don't know what it is that's special about you.

你有一种模糊的感觉，觉得自己有些特别，会有好事发生在你身上，但你并不清楚具体是什么。

There's a vague sense that there's something special, that something is going to happen to you, but you don't have any specificity on it.

因为你并不真正了解它，不理解它的具体细节，所以它是模糊的。

And because you don't really know it and really understand it and really understand the specifics of it, it's fuzzy.

当它模糊时，你就会去其他地方寻找认可，也就是说，你希望别人觉得你特别，因为这验证了你内心觉得自己特别的那个东西。

And when it's fuzzy, you go searching for validation in other places, meaning you want others to see you as special because it validates that that thing inside you that you felt was special about you.

所以你可能会更活跃于社交媒体，创作内容，或者公开演讲。

So you might be more active on social media, creating content, or public speaking.

然后我就说，"嗯，是的。

And I'm like, "Well, yep.

没错。

Check.

我确实把整个人生都围绕这个来安排了。

Definitely have oriented my entire life around that.

听起来没错。

That sounds correct."

但这样做有风险，就是去寻求别人对你特殊性的认可。

There's a danger in that, in seeking that validation of your specialness from others.

因为当你得到这种认可时，你会非常兴奋，但一旦得不到，你的情绪会比平时更低落。

Because you'll get a high high when you get it, but you'll get a lower than normal low when you just lack it.

甚至不需要有人说你不好，只是感觉没有被视为特别的人。

Not even somebody says something bad about you, but you don't feel seen as special.

这听起来熟悉吗？

Does that sound familiar?

我想到，我举办了一个活动，邀请了地球上最了不起的30个人，他们都是世界最大公司的创始人。

And I thought about, I host this event with 30 of the most unbelievable people on Earth, founders of the biggest companies in the world.

但在这个活动里，我时不时会感到一阵不安，我想让他们知道我有多棒、多特别、多厉害。

But every so often in this event, I feel this pang of insecurity, and I want them to know how awesome I am and how special I am, how great I am.

我不会把这话说出来，但内心深处，那正是让我困扰的地方，对吧？

I don't say this out loud, but deep down, that's what bothers me, right?

那才是我感到难受的部分。

That's the part I'm feeling bad about.

因为活动一切都很顺利，但我却感觉不好。

Because everything is going great at the event, but I am feeling bad.

我明明身在天堂，却感觉像在地狱。

I've gone to heaven, and I'm feeling hell.

一个人就能做到这样。

And a man could do that.

如果你不小心，如果你总是沉浸在自己的思绪里，你就能把天堂变成地狱。

You can make hell out of heaven if you're not careful, if you're in your own head.

于是我问自己：'那我能做点什么来改变这种情况吗？'

And I said, "Well, is there something I could do about this?"

他说：“嗯，是的。

He said, "Well, yeah.

你可以做到。

You can.

第一步就是意识到这一点，注意到这种情况可能正在发生。

First step is just being aware of it, noticing when that might be happening.

在掉进陷阱之前，先抓住自己。

Catch yourself before you fall down a trap.

但第二步是搞清楚。

But the second part is get clear.

搞清楚你特别的地方是什么，这样你就不需要从别人那里得到认可。

Get clear about what it is that is special about you, so you don't need it from others.

当你自己的水杯装满了水，你就不会坐在那里等着服务员回来。”

When you've filled your own water cup, you're not sitting around waiting for the waiter to come back."

我觉得这个想法非常有力。

I think that's a very powerful idea.

你们很多人可能跟我一样，会寻求外界的认可、外界的赞美、外界的奖项，不管是成绩、金钱、表扬还是别的什么，用来代替自己给自己倒满那杯水。

Many of you are probably like me, where you seek some external validation, some external praise, some external award, some external, whether it's grades or money or praise or whatever, as a substitute for just filling the cup up yourself.

当你自己把杯子倒满，因为你明白自己为什么了不起，你就能自在地做自己。我觉得那是世上最好的感觉之一，就是完全自在地做自己。

And when you fill the cup up yourself because you understand what makes you great, you could just kind of be comfortable in your own skin, which I think is one of the greatest feelings on Earth, is when you feel totally comfortable in your own skin.

你不会觉得自己需要比现在更好。我觉得我还没做到那一步，但至少我已经接受了看到自恋量表上110分之类的那个打击，然后对自己说：“嗯，好吧。”

You don't feel like you need to be anything more than you are And I don't think I've achieved that yet, but I've definitely taken the wound of seeing the 110 or whatever on the narcissism scale and saying, "Hmm, okay.

有人给我举了一面镜子，也许我不喜欢看到的自己，但至少我看清了事实。

Somebody held up a bit of a mirror, and maybe I don't love what I see, but at least I see what it is.

现在我可以据此调整了。”

And now I can adjust accordingly."

真相是稀有的礼物。

The truth is such a rare gift.

有一次我接到慈善：水的斯科特·哈里森的电话，我认识斯科特，但我们不是朋友。

One time I got a call from Scott Harrison of charity:water, and I know Scott, but we're not friends.

我们平时不互相打电话。

We don't call each other.

这是他十年来第一次给我打电话。

This is the first call I've had in 10 years from him.

“你有空吗？”

"You got a minute?"

“有空，斯科特。

"Yeah, I got a minute, Scott.

怎么了？”

What's up?"

“嘿，兄弟。

"Hey, man.

我在听你的播客。

I was listening to your podcast.

你做得不错。

You do a good job.

但你想把播客做得更好，对吧？”

But you want to be great at podcasting, right?

这是你的事业吗？

This is your thing?

你真的在乎播客吗？

You really care about podcasting?"

我当时就说：“对，兄弟，这就是我的事业。”

I was like, "Yeah, man, it's my thing."

“你得改掉说‘就是’的习惯。”

"You got to stop saying like.

“你老是说‘就是’。”

You say like all the time."

“啊？”

"Huh?"

“哥们，你一直在说‘就是’。”

"Dude, you're saying like all the time.

“你一期节目里能说五百次‘就是’。”

You say like 500 times in an episode."

哦，对。

"Oh yeah.

对，确实是这样，兄弟。

Yeah, that's true, man.

我确实该改改这个毛病。

I should work on that."

对，你真的应该改。

"Yeah, you really should.

你能做到的。

You could do it.

你能改好的。

You could fix it.

这没那么难。

It's not that hard.

只要注意一下，然后去做，你就会好很多。

Just pay attention to it and do it, and you'll be so much better at it.

你做了很多其他很棒的事情，但这件事真的有点离谱。

You're doing so many other great things, but this like thing is crazy.

我只是想告诉你，兄弟，因为我知道这对你很重要，我想确保你意识到这一点。

And I just wanted to tell you that, man, because I know that this is important to you, and I wanted to make sure you're aware of it.

你可能自己都没注意到。

You might not know."

一开始，我同时有两种反应。

And at first, I'm simultaneously having two reactions.

作为播客主持人，被人直接指出说太多“那个”这个词，真是尴尬。

The embarrassment of getting literally called out on saying the word like too much as a podcaster.

但另一方面，我真的很感激。

On the other hand, I really appreciated it.

我在想，天哪，我生活中有多少人能像这样，不顾自己的尴尬，毫无私心地告诉我真相呢？

I was thinking, man, how many people in my life could I count on to tell me the truth in a way that is completely uncomfortable for them and not self-serving in any way?

但他真的过来，在我门口放下了一些对我有帮助的东西。

But he literally came by and just dropped something off at my door that would be helpful.

所以，斯科特，谢谢你。

And so, Scott, thank you for that.

我还在努力改。

I'm still working on it.

嘿，我们快速休息一下。

Hey, let's take a quick break.

你有没有过这种感觉：策略定好了，简报写好了，大家都达成一致了，然后你发现还是得有人坐下来，真正把内容做出来？

You know that feeling when strategy is done, the brief is written, everyone's aligned, and you realize someone still has to sit down and actually create all the content?

那个人通常就是你，而且明天就要交。

That someone is usually you, and it's due tomorrow.

其实，HubSpot 的 Breeze Assistant 可以帮你。

Well, the Breeze Assistant from HubSpot can help.

它直接在 HubSpot 里面就能用。

It works right inside HubSpot.

你可以起草活动文案、博客文章、邮件，全都用你的品牌语气，全都基于你真实的客户数据。

You can draft campaign copy, blog posts, emails, all in your brand voice, all using your actual customer data.

所以你创造的不只是内容，而是能带来转化的内容。

So you don't create just content, you create content that converts.

去 hubspot.com 看看吧，那是为成长型企业打造的智能客户平台。

Check out hubspot.com, the agentic customer platform for growing businesses.

好的。

All right.

接下来我要给你第二个例子。

I'm going to give you the second one.

我今年21岁，我和两个哥们儿有个绝妙的想法，想开一家全新的餐厅。

I'm 21 years old, and me and my two buddies have had this brilliant idea to start a new restaurant concept.

我们觉得自己能成为下一个 Chipotle、下一个 Subway、下一个 Five Guys，而且我们要做寿司界的这种连锁。

We think we're going to be the next Chipotle, the next Subway, the next Five Guys, and we're going to do it in the world of sushi.

你可能会好奇，像我这样的人怎么能开起寿司连锁店呢？

Now, you might be wondering, how does somebody who looks like me start a sushi chain?

很多人都这么想。

Many people wondered this.

很多我们接触过的投资人都有这个疑问，而且当时真的没有一个好的答案。

Many of the investors we pitched wondered this, and there really was not a good answer.

我并不是一个美食家。

I was not a foodie.

我也不是寿司师傅。

I was not a sushi chef.

我从小也没怎么吃过寿司。

I had not grown up eating sushi.

其实，在我有这个想法之前，也就是那次尴尬经历之前，我大概三个月前或者五个月前才真正尝过寿司，差不多就是这样。

In fact, before I had this idea, before this moment of embarrassment, I had really tried sushi three months prior or five months prior, something like that.

但我有那种新手才有的自信。

But I had the confidence that a beginner has.

年轻的时候，你确实有一个很大的优势。

When you're young, you do have one great asset.

你缺乏经验，缺乏知识，缺乏技能，但你有新手的心态和自信，因为你不知道自己不知道什么。

You lack experience, you lack knowledge, you lack skills, but you do have the beginner's mind and the beginner's confidence, where you don't know what you don't know.

所以我觉得在这个阶段，我大概知道自己在做什么。

So I think at this stage, I think I know what I'm doing.

我为什么这么想呢？

And why do I think that?

因为我赢了一个商业计划比赛。

Because I had won a business plan competition.

我写了一份商业计划书，然后我们赢了那个比赛。

I had written a business plan, and we won this competition.

所以我们给Chipotle的创始人发了冷邮件，也给Quiznos的创始人发了冷邮件，还给各种不同公司的创始人都发了冷邮件，结果有一个人回复了我们，就是Noodles & Company的那个家伙，如果你去过Noodles & Company的话。

So we cold emailed the founder of Chipotle, we cold emailed the founder of Quiznos, we cold emailed the founders of all these different companies, and one replies to us, the guy from Noodles & Company, if you've ever been to Noodles & Company.

然后他邀请我们出去吃午饭，我们就去给他展示我们的计划。

And so he invites us out to lunch, and we get to go and show him our plan.

我们本来希望能得到一些很棒的建议。

And we're hoping for some great advice.

所以在之前的三个月里，我一直在努力把这个生意做起来。

So for the last three months before this, I had been working on bringing this business to life.

在我看来，这意味着要把那个赢得比赛的商业计划真正充实起来。

And in my mind, what that meant was take that business plan that had won the competition, really flesh it out.

要面面俱到，不留死角。

Leave no stone unturned.

我确实信奉这种拼命工作、埋头苦干的心态。

I really subscribe to this kind of hard work, grindset, mindset mentality.

但我所谓的努力，和很多人一样，其实是回避真正的工作，转而去做那些自己更熟悉、更安心的“努力”形式。

But my version of hard work was what it is for many people, where you avoid the actual work and you instead do the flavor of hard work that you feel more comfortable with, that you feel safe in.

对我来说，那就是做计划。

And for me, that was planning.

所以我们一直在写计划书。

And so we were writing our plan.

我们在做预测、建财务模型。

We were creating forecasts, financial models.

我们规划了一切，从员工穿什么，到管理体系的运作，再到晋升的条件和流程。

We were planning everything from what our employees would wear and how our managerial system would work, where somebody would get promoted and what that would take.

我们觉得那就是准备充分的象征。

And we thought that was a symbol of preparedness.

所以我们走进去，准备给这个人留下深刻印象。

And so we walked in ready to impress this guy.

我们打印了一个活页夹。

We printed out this binder.

有这么厚，我记得是一份250页的商业计划书，如果你对商业有点了解，你已经知道这个故事会怎么发展了。

It was this thick, and I think it was a 250-page business plan, which if you know anything about business, you already know where this story's going.

作为创始人，最不想做的就是造出没人想要的东西。

The last thing you want to do as a founder is build something that nobody wants.

你可能会花上好几年时间不停地建、建、建，结果到最后发现，一开始根本没人想要这个东西。

You might dedicate years of your life just building, building, building, only to find out at the end that nobody even wanted the thing in the first place.

更好的做法是边做边验证你的想法。

The better way is to validate your idea as you go.

越早越好。

Earlier, the better.

所以，Starter Story 团队，也就是 HubSpot 旗下的，制作了一份关于验证商业创意的指南。

So the team over at Starter Story, which is part of HubSpot, has made a guide for validating business ideas.

里面包含模板和案例研究，教你如何验证一个想法，以及如何在投入太多之前就开始验证。

It's templates and case studies to learn how to validate an idea and how to start doing that before you build too much.

它展示了最优秀的创始人如何测试他们的想法，避免浪费几个月时间去打造错误的东西。

And it shows you how the best founders test their ideas before wasting months building the wrong thing.

你可以免费获取这份指南。

You can get the guide for free.

你可以扫描屏幕上的二维码，或者点击下方描述中的链接。

You can scan the QR code on the screen or click the link in the description below.

好的。

All right.

回到本期节目。

Back to the episode.

然后我们坐下来，他说：“跟我说说，你们在做什么？”

And so we go, we sit down, and he says, "So tell me, what are you guys doing?"

我说，"嗯，我可以告诉你，或者我可以给你看。"

I said, "Well, I could tell you, or I could show you."

然后我戏剧性地把这份商业计划书啪地拍在桌子上。

And I thump this business plan on the table dramatically.

我说，"你看看这个。

And I say, "Take a look at this.

这是我们一直在写的商业计划书，我觉得你会喜欢的。"

This is a business plan that we've been writing up, and I think you're going to like it."

然后他开始翻看，但我注意到他其实并没有认真读。

And so he starts flipping through, and I notice he's not really reading it.

他翻着翻着，很快就只是在试图搞清楚这300页的册子里到底可能写了些什么鬼东西。

He's flipping through, and pretty quickly, he's just trying to grok what the hell could possibly be in this 300-page binder.

我永远不会忘记，因为那时我已经意识到事情不太顺利，我正准备好接受拒绝。

And I'll never forget because I've already realized at this point that it's not going well, and I'm bracing myself for rejection.

但作为一个创业者，我早就做好了被拒绝的准备。

But I as a entrepreneur, I was prepared for rejection.

其实我之前在推销、向投资人推销的时候，已经经历过一些拒绝了。

I had actually experienced a little bit of rejection through trying to sell, trying to pitch investors.

所以我对这个已经习惯了。

So I was hardened to that.

我已经准备好了。

I was ready for that.

我已经做好了心理准备。

I braced myself for that.

但就像我以为有人要打我的脸，结果他们却打在了我的肚子上，因为他没有拒绝我们，也没说什么难听的话。

But it was like I thought someone was going to hit me in the face, and then they just punched me in the gut because he did not reject us or say anything mean.

相反，我能看到他脸上在努力想办法怎么对我们好一点，因为我们太没希望了，所以那不是拒绝，而是同情。

Instead, I could see on his face he was trying to work out How to be nice to us because we were so hopeless that it was not rejection, it was pity.

他甚至不知道该说什么，于是就开始试着说：“你看，你们在这上面花了很多心思。”

And he didn't even really know what to say, so he started trying to just be like, "Look, guys, you've put a lot of thought into this."

他沿着那条路说下去，说到一半我就说：“嘿，哥们，你直接跟我们说实话就行了。”

And he goes down that road and halfway through I'm like, "Hey, man, you could just tell it to us straight."

然后他说：“好吧，那我就直说了。”

And he goes, "Okay, I'll give it to you straight.

“这根本不算什么。”

This is nothing.

“我不知道你在做什么，也不知道你为什么这么做，但这不是开餐厅的方式。”

I don't know what you're doing, I don't know why you're doing this, but this is not how you start a restaurant.

“开餐厅应该是先到处找地方，签租约，交押金，然后说‘我们90天内开业’，接着就行动起来，开始接待顾客，开始琢磨怎么让他们满意。”

You start a restaurant by going around, finding a location, paying a lease, putting down a deposit, and saying, 'We're going to open the doors in the next 90 days,' and getting going, and start serving customers and start figuring out how to make them happy.

“这才是开餐厅该有的样子，而不是你现在这样。”

That's what it means to start a restaurant, not this."

于是我们灰溜溜地回家了，我只记得我们上了车，但没开走。

So we go home with our tail between our legs, and I just remember we got in the car, but we didn't drive.

我们三个人，一起创办这家公司的朋友，就这么沉默了一会儿，谁也没说话。

We just had a moment of silence, the three of us friends who co-founded this company, and we didn't even really talk.

我们不知道该说什么。

We didn't know what to say.

真是太丢人了。

It was just embarrassing.

感觉就是，好吧，我们没损失什么，除了面子。

It was like, okay, we didn't lose anything except for our dignity.

那个人，前一天还不是我们生活的一部分，后一天也不会是，但天哪，我们真的以为自己在做对的事，结果被狠狠打脸了。

That guy, he wasn't a part of our life the day before, he's not going to be a part of our life the day after, but wow, we really thought we were doing something right, and we just got smacked.

所以我们回到家，就开始拖延。

So we go home and we procrastinate.

我们打开了一集超棒的《宋飞正传》，里面乔治走进来坐下说：“杰瑞，我不知道我这辈子都在干什么。”

We turn on just a great episode of "Seinfeld" where George walks in and George sits down and he goes, "Jerry, I don't know what I've been doing with my life."

他说：“我不知道我哪里做错了。”

He's like, "I don't know where I went wrong.

“我曾经是个有前途的年轻人。”

I was a promising young man."

然后他说：“而现在我在这里，”接着他描述了自己生活的现状。

And he's like, "And here I am," and he describes the state of his life.

他说：‘我单身，头发也快掉光了，诸如此类’，然后就开始描述他的人生怎么就没按他的想法走。

He's like, "I'm single, I'm balding, I'm blah, blah, blah," and he just starts to describe how his life did not go the way he wanted.

那一刻我也有同样的感觉。

That's how I felt in that moment, too.

生活并没有按我想要的方式发展。

Life was not going the way I wanted.

我们住在特雷弗的帕蒂姨妈的地下室里。

We're living in Trevor's Aunt Patty's basement.

我们离开餐厅的目标还是和五个月前一样远。

We're no closer to the restaurant than we were five months ago.

我们一直在浪费时间在这个计划上。

We've just been wasting our time with this plan.

之前干过这事的人告诉我们：‘这不算什么。

The guy who's done this before told us, "This is nothing.

别干这个了。’

Don't even do this."

所以就像乔治一样，我们意识到自己走偏了。

And so like George, we realized we had gone far wrong.

那一集里，服务员走过来问：“可以点餐了吗？”

And in that episode, the waitress comes up and she's like, "Can I take your order?

“还是老样子吗，乔治？”

The usual, George?"

“对对，我要鸡肉沙拉。”

"Yeah, yeah, I'll take the chicken salad."

然后就在她转身要走的时候，他说：“不不不，等等。”

And then right before she walks away, he goes, "No, no, no. Wait.

“我每天都吃鸡肉沙拉，鸡肉沙拉把我变成了现在这样。”

Every day I eat chicken salad, and chicken salad has got me here.

“今天，我要反着来。”

Today, I'm doing the opposite."

“鸡肉沙拉的反面是什么？”

What's the opposite of chicken salad?

金枪鱼吐司。

Tuna on toast.

“我要金枪鱼吐司。”

"I'll have the tuna on toast."

于是他就当场改了订单。

And so he changes his order right there.

服务员就说：“好的。”

And she's like, "Okay."

她走了之后，他看见柜台那边坐着一个漂亮女孩，那女孩好像在看他，伊莱恩就说：“乔治，她在看你呢。

She leaves, and then he sees this beautiful girl at the counter sitting there, and she kind of was looking at him, and Elaine's like, "George, she's looking at you.

去跟她聊聊吧。”

Go talk to her."

他说：“跟她聊？

And he goes, "Talk to her?

她为什么要跟我聊？”

Why would she talk to me?

我是个失败者，诸如此类的。

I'm a loser who's blah, blah."

然后她说：“那才是以前的乔治会说的话。”

And then she goes, "That's what the old George would say.

那相反的是什么？

So what's the opposite?"

他说：“相反？”

He goes, "The opposite?

我会走过去，告诉她……

I would approach her, and I would tell her..."

于是他就走过去对她说：“我是乔治。”

And so he goes up to her and he says, "I'm George.

我单身。

I'm single.

我和我妈住在一起。”

I live with my mother."

他把自己介绍成一个失败者，而不是吹嘘自己，结果她反而很喜欢。

He's introduced himself as a loser instead of playing himself up, and she loves it.

所以那天我就想，"好，跟乔治一样。"

And so that day, I was like, "Okay, same as George.

从现在开始，我要反着来。

From now on, I'm doing the opposite."

我说，"那到目前为止我们都在做什么？"

I said, "Well, what were we doing so far?"

到目前为止，我们一直在计划一切。

So far, we were planning everything.

我们一直试图表现得一本正经，去讨好像那个Noodles & Company的家伙那样的人。

We were trying to be buttoned up to impress people like this guy from Noodles & Company.

算了吧。

Forget it.

重点不在于计划，而在于行动。

It's not going to be about planning, it's going to be about action.

而且重点不再是取悦别人，而是把事情做成，真正去做，管别人怎么看呢？

And it's not going to be about impressing others, it's going to be about doing the thing, actually doing it so that who cares?

我们不需要他们的认可。

We don't need their approval.

我们早就不在学校了。

We're no longer in school.

现在这是真实的世界。

This is the real world now.

我们真的毕业了。

We're actually graduated.

我们现在在真实的世界里，我得改变我的方式。

We're in the real world now, and I got to change my approach.

所以从那时起，我决定成为一个行动派，我变得虔诚，我崇拜行动教，一切都围绕着行动。

And so from then on, I decided to become a man of action, and I became religious, and I worshiped at the church of action, and everything just became about action.

所以如果要在行动和不行动之间选，我肯定选金枪鱼吐司，宝贝。

And so if there was ever a choice between action and inaction, I had to be tuna on toast, baby.

我必须采取行动。

I had to take action.

这真的帮了我很多。

And that really served me.

一年后，我们遇到了一位导师。

A year later, we met this mentor.

他给了我们一些建议，48小时后，我们回去找他，说：“好的，我们完成了那三件事，这是我们学到的，这是我们现在的进展。”

He gave us some advice, and 48 hours later, we came back to him and we're like, "Cool, so we did those three things, and this is what we learned, and here's where we're at now.

这是我们接下来的想法。

Here's what we're thinking next.

如果你有任何想法，请告诉我们。”

Let us know if you have any ideas."

他当时非常震惊。

And he was pretty blown away.

我们就这样跟他重复了三次，然后他写了一篇博客文章给全世界看，他说：“我最近遇到了这些创始人，我不知道他们的想法好不好，但他们是我见过的所有创始人中行动力最强的。”

And we just did that three times with him, and then he wrote this blog post for the world to see, and he said, "I met these founders recently, and I don't know if their idea is any good or not, but they have the highest bias for action of any founders I've ever met."

这算是从鸡肉沙拉升级到金枪鱼吐司的那种验证吧。

And it was sort of the validation of the going from chicken salad to tuna on toast.

所以那种尴尬，一旦消退，对我产生了很大的影响。

So the embarrassment, once it wore off, it had some powerful effects on me.

今天的播客由我的朋友 Mercury 赞助。

Today's podcast is brought to you by my friends at Mercury.

他们做的是全球最好的银行产品。

They make the world's best banking product.

我想你已经知道了。

I think you know this already.

我所有的生意都用 Mercury。

I use Mercury for all of my businesses.

我大概有七八家公司吧。

I think I have maybe seven or eight businesses.

我们所有公司的企业银行都用 Mercury。

We use Mercury as our business banking across all of them.

而且他们现在刚刚推出了个人银行账户。

And now they actually just launched a personal banking account.

所以我的个人账户也开在那里。

So I have my personal account there.

我已经把富国银行和摩根大通的钱都转出来了。

I moved off of Wells Fargo and Chase.

我现在完全只用 Mercury。

I'm just all in on Mercury.

为什么？

Why?

我喜欢用起来简单的产品。

I like products that are easy to use.

我喜欢那些能理解我和我需求的产品，所以和我妻子开联名账户非常方便。

I like products that get me and the problems that I have, so very easy to make a joint account with my wife.

创建虚拟卡也非常容易。

Very easy to spin up virtual cards.

一键就能获得储蓄收益。

One click and I get savings yield.

所有我需要的东西都集中在一个地方。

It just has all the stuff that I need in one place.

所以如果你在找市场上最好的银行产品，那绝对是Mercury。

So if you're looking for the best banking product on the market, it's definitely Mercury.

谁不同意这点，我就跟谁干一架。

I will fistfight anybody who disagrees with me on that.

去mercury.com/personal了解更多。

Go to mercury.com/personal and learn more.

Mercury是一家金融科技公司，不是FDIC承保的银行。

Mercury is a fintech, not an FDIC-insured bank.

银行服务由Choice Financial Group和Column, N.A.提供，成员FDIC。

Banking services are provided through Choice Financial Group and Column, N.A. Members FDIC.

我要给你讲第三个故事了。

I'm going to give you the third story.

你可能不知道，因为我现在靠说话吃饭，但我小时候非常害羞。

You may not know this because now I'm a talker for a living, but I was very shy growing up.

我记得有一次我姐姐指出了这一点。

I remember once my sister pointed this out.

我有一个姐姐。

I have an older sister.

她喜欢取笑我，叫我“笑声轨道”，因为在情景喜剧里，有各种角色。

She liked to make fun of me, and she called me the laugh track because in a sitcom, you have all the characters.

有主角，然后是他的恋人，还有哥们儿、跟班。

You have the main character, then you have his love interest, then you have the buddy, the sidekick.

在学校里，我哪个角色都不是。

At school, I was none of those characters.

我简直就是笑声轨道，背景中的背景。

I was literally the laugh track, the background of the background.

连背景角色都算不上。

Not even a background character.

我有几个朋友，但基本上就是学校里走来走去的NPC那种人。

I had a few friends, but I was basically just this kind of NPC that was walking around school.

我当时真的很喜欢一个女孩，作为一个十几岁的男孩，去跟女孩说喜欢她，真的挺吓人的。

And I really liked this girl, and it's pretty scary as a teenage boy to go tell a girl you like her.

所以我想：“好吧，我写张纸条吧。”

So I thought, "Okay, I'm going to write this note."

于是我就写了这张纸条。

So I wrote this note.

我管它叫纸条。

I'm calling it a note.

其实可能算是一首诗，但那更尴尬，所以我现在就管它叫纸条吧。

It's probably a poem, but that's even more embarrassing, so I'm just going to call it a note for now.

内容基本上就是描述这个女孩，以及我有多喜欢她。

And it was basically describing this girl and how much I liked her.

但我是用很抽象的方式描述她的。

But it was describing her in abstract terms.