肖娜西·施罗德

我觉得，如果没有固定的日常安排，就好像...或者说我试着解释一下。

I think, like, if I don't have my routine, it doesn't like or if I I guess I'll try to explain this.

拥有日常安排就像是给了我下一步行动的垫脚石。

Having my routine almost gives me like the stepping stones to like what I need to do next.

所以它能为我一整天奠定良好基础，因为我知道自己每周读五天书，这样我就知道自己一直在学习。

So like, it just sets me up for a good day because it's like, Okay, I know that I read five days a week, so I know that I'm learning.

或者我知道要完成X、Y、Z这些事项，所以能逐一搞定。

Or I know that I had X, Y, and Z to do so I can finish that.

然后我就能有时间放松，因为在日常安排中，我确保留出了什么都不做的空闲时间。

And then I can have time to relax because my routine, I make sure to have time to just do nothing.

这样既不会觉得自己做得不够，也不会觉得负担过重。

So I don't feel like I'm not doing enough, and I don't feel like I'm doing too much.

我认为这是个很好的平衡，因为我真的很努力坚持按计划行事。

I feel like it's a good balance because I really try to stick to a routine.

是啊。

Yeah.

我经常跟Jason这么说。

That's I try and tell Jason all the time.

我说，晚上到某个点你就得让大脑关机。

I'm like, you gotta shut the brain off at a certain time of the night.

他就是停不下来，一直忙个不停。

Like, he he just goes, goes, goes.

他工作特别拼命，几乎有点过度了，因为他对工作充满热情，是个行动派，所以我总说必须学会关机。

And he's such a hard worker and he's, like, he almost overdoes it because he's so passionate about working and he's such a go getter that I'm like, you have to shut it off.

比如我在做饭，我们会坐下来吃饭。

Like, because I'll be making dinner and we'll, like, sit down.

我能看到他脑子还在转个不停。

And he's like, I could just see his his wheels turning.

天啊，就...好在我已经学会关机，能把工作和生活分开保持平衡，但我觉得很多人终其一生都在寻找人生目标和激情，而你似乎已经做到了。

I'm oh my gosh, just it's and that's because I have been able to shut it off and separate those things like work and life and have that balance, but I just think, you know, so many people in life are they struggle to find their purpose and passions in life and it seems like you've kind of been able to do that.

我想知道在你从高中到现在的生命旅程中，这个转变发生在什么时候？你是怎么做到的？

And I wanted to know where that shift was for you along your journey of life from high school to you now and how did you do it?

我觉得，虽然这话听起来很老套，但我要告诉你，这是非常严肃的。

I feel like, and this is gonna sound so cheesy, but I'm telling you, it's like so serious.

我觉得，当我真正找到自我、对自己感到满意时，就感觉无论做什么都无所谓，因为我对自己很满意。

I feel like I, like when I found myself and I just was like happy just like with myself, it was like, it doesn't matter what I do because I'm just happy with me.

我觉得很长一段时间里我并不是那样的。

I feel like for a long time I wasn't that way.

而现在我对自己非常满意，所以无论做什么，我都感到快乐，不知道这样说是否明白。

And now I'm just so happy with just myself that I feel like whatever I do, I'm just happy in that, if that makes sense.

不，我懂你的意思。

No, I get that.

我总觉得人们总想得到一个具体方法或简单答案，但其实真正需要的是自我提升。

I always, I feel like it's people want to know like a how to or a simple answer, but it really is just working on yourself.

其实就是弄清楚自己是谁。

It really is just like figuring out who you are.

真的就是经历岁月的洗礼，犯错、失败、学习的过程。

It really is just going through the years of your life, making mistakes, failing, learning.

这确实是随着年龄增长和生活经历而逐渐领悟的，这些经历帮助你成长，关键在于你如何从这些人生教训中汲取养分——虽然我不想贬低过去的感情，但在几段旧关系中，我始终渴望保持自我成长。

It really is something that does come with age and things that have happened in your life to help you grow and it's how you take those life lessons to grow from them because I mean not to bash on like a past relationship but a couple of my past relationships I have felt like I just continue to want to grow as myself.

我总是希望比去年的自己更优秀。

I wanted to always be better than I was the last year.

我不断渴望更深入地了解自己，弄清楚什么能让我快乐、为何会抑郁、各种原因，并持续自我完善。

I always wanted to learn more about myself, figure out what makes me happy, why I'm depressed, why this, why this, and always work on myself.

你会逐渐在生活中超越某些人，无论是恋人、朋友还是其他关系。

And you kind of outgrow people in your life, whether that's relationships, friendships, whatever.

但我觉得简单的答案就是在自己内心寻找快乐。

But I just feel like that's the simple answer is to find happiness within yourself.

如果你不自我提升，那还有什么选择呢？

And if you don't work on yourself, it's like, what's the alternative?

你就只能原地踏步，停留在当前的状态。

You're literally just gonna sit wherever space you are.

所以如果我不继续自我提升，我可能还是高中时那个女孩，穿着...天知道什么衣服，千万别看我以前的照片，穿着根本不适合自己的衣服，做任何事都不是为了自己开心，而是为了取悦别人。

So like, if I didn't continue to work on myself, I'd still be that girl in high school wearing, I don't know what, don't look at any old picture of me, like wearing something that was not me, not even enjoying anything because I'm doing it for other people.

这就是另一种选择。

That's the alternative.

所以，你不如试着提升自己，至少还能有所进步，希望如此。

So it's like, well, you might as well at least try to work on yourself because you'll at least get some progress, hopefully.

但我总在想，人是否必须经历那些，才能脱胎换骨。

I always wonder if you have to go through that, though, to be able to come out the other side.

我总在思考这个问题，我一直倡导要做真实的自己。

I always wonder, like, I always preach, be yourself.

如果你想做这件事，就去做。

And if you want to do this, do this.

但我之所以明白这点，是因为我经历过讨好他人、伪装自己的阶段，最终跌入谷底才领悟。

And I'm like, but I only learned that from going through the phases where I tried to please everybody else, and I tried to be somebody I wasn't, and I hit rock bottom and all those things.

所以当我宣扬这个观点时，我该怎么表达——你也需要尝试融入群体，才能真正体会那种经历的糟糕。

So I'm like, when I preach that, how do I say but also also try and fit in so you learn how shitty it is to go through that.

确实如此。

Literally.

是啊。

Yeah.

我是说，这太真实了，因为我觉得如果没有那段经历，我就不会知道现在的感觉有多好，相比之下过去的感觉有多糟糕。

I mean, that's so true because I feel like if I didn't have that, then I wouldn't know that like how good I feel now in comparison to like how crappy I felt then.

对。

Right.

没错。

Yeah.

我经常想到这个。

I always think about that.

我就想，天哪，我以前真是个傻瓜，但这让我意识到不装酷的感觉有多棒。

I'm like, God, I was such an idiot, but like, that makes me realize how cool it is to not be cool.

你懂我意思吗？

You know what I mean?

就像我当年那样傻里傻气的样子。

Like, just from being such a dumb dumb ding a ling back in my day.

你有没有那种尴尬时刻，回想起来就想：我当初怎么会说那种话、做那种事、穿那种衣服？

Do you ever like cringe and just like think back and it's like, why did I ever like say that, do that, wear that?

就是，我感觉，我也说不清楚。

It just, I feel like, I don't know.

我希望听众们，还有所有可能正处于那个阶段的人，能真正记住我们说的某些话。

And I hope for your listeners, just for everyone who like maybe is in that space, like I hope that something of like what we're saying really like sticks.

因为我知道我生活中有些人现在正处于那个阶段，他们年轻得多，但我觉得你真的需要自我成长，只有当你走出那个阶段后，才会意识到自己当时多么像个复刻品，多么在讨好别人。

Because I know there's people in my life that like they are in that space right now and they're a lot younger, but I feel like you really do have to like work on yourself and you don't see how much of a carbon copy you are or how much you're trying to please people until you're not in that space anymore.

然后你就会想，哇，我那时候到底是谁啊？

Then you're like, wow, who was I then?

没错。

Right.

这也很无奈，现在谁不在TikTok上模仿别人的内容呢？

It's so hard too because who isn't on TikTok copying someone else's content?

这就是我们的常态。

It's what we do.

我们试图模仿他们的言辞。

We try and mimic their words.

我们试图模仿他们的舞步、幽默感、风格乃至一切。

We try and mimic their dance moves, their humor, their style, their everything.

我就是这么做的。

I do it.

我经常跟着他们对口型。

I'm going on their lip syncing all the time.

我总会想到我9岁的侄子和13岁的侄女，他们多么容易受这些TikTok视频影响——视频告诉他们该做什么、成为谁、如何搞笑，而你只是在模仿社交媒体上的这些东西，我实在不知道是否有办法控制这种影响。

And I always think about that for like my nine year old nephew, my 13 year old niece, how impressionable they are from all these TikToks telling them what to do, who to be, how to be funny, how to and you're just trying to mimic those things on from social media and it just I don't know if there's any way to control that.

我认为关键在于以身作则，但你觉得我们除了以身作则外就无计可施了吗？

I think it's always about leading by example, but is that all you think we can do is just lead by example?

是的，而且我觉得不仅仅是我，当我开始建立大部分自信时，通常是先做某件事或设定目标去完成某事。

Yeah, and I think not even just like for me, I feel like when I started building most of my confidence, it was like, I would do something or I'd like make a goal to do something.

然后我就会想：天啊我居然做到了。

And then I'd be like, I freaking did that.

我做到了，就靠我自己，没有别人帮忙。

I did that, like by myself, no one else did it with me.

就是我做到的。

Like I did that.

我没有试图模仿任何人。

I wasn't trying to be anyone else.

那是我做到的。

I did that.

这逐渐建立起了我的信心，或者说持续增强了我的自信。

And so that like built my confidence or continue to build my confidence.

所以我并不觉得需要成为别人才能达成目标。

So I didn't feel like I needed to be like someone else to do whatever I was trying to do.

所以我觉得达成这个目标有很多途径。

So I don't know, feel like there's a lot of ways to get there.

有唯一正确的方式吗？

Is there one way?

我不这么认为，不过。

I don't think so, but.

对，

Right,

我知道，这是我经常思考的问题，尤其是考虑到将来要孩子之类的事情。但我就...你刚才提到高中时如何为了融入而穿衣打扮，那不是真实的你。现在你怎么描述自己的风格呢？毕竟你可是时尚达人，品味超好，我总是羡慕有个人风格的人，因为我的风格就...比如我会问你，你怎么定义自己的风格？

I know, this is something I think about often especially when I think about having kids and stuff but I just, yeah you speak about you know how you tried to dress in high school to fit in or it wasn't you, how do you describe your style now because you are a fashionista, you're so good with style, you have like I don't know I always envy people who have style because my style is like like, I would ask you, how do you describe your style?

你可能会记得你问过我，而我就说，我不知道。

And you would probably know you asked me and I'm like, I don't know.

我就觉得，什么便宜穿什么，造型师说我穿什么好看就穿什么，或者当天随便抓几件搭一起。

I'm like, whatever is cheap and whatever the stylist says I look good in and whatever I just throw together that day.

但我很喜欢这样啊。

I love that though.

这就是真实的你。

That's you.

对啊。

Like yeah.

就是这样的我，全部都是。

Mean, the me, all of it.

这太像你了。

It's so you.

我觉得对我来说，我的风格可以描述为非常中性、非常舒适。

I feel like for me, my style, I'd explain it very neutral, very comfy.

任何舒适又中性的东西，就是我的调调。

Like, anything that's comfy and neutral is, my vibe.

我以前的风格其实很相似，只是不够可爱。

My my style used to be very similar, just not cute.

以前我常穿破洞牛仔短裤、超大号T恤之类的，就是那种随意的穿搭。

Like, used to I used to wear, like, cutoff jean shorts and, like, big big tees and, like, kind of dressing.

我有两个哥哥和三个姐姐。

Like, I have two brothers and I had I have three sisters.

我的姐姐们会说：'我们来玩芭比娃娃吧。'

And my sisters would be like, let's play Barbie dolls.

我的兄弟们会说，我们去爬树吧。

My brothers would be like, let's climb trees.

我就觉得，酷。

And I'm like, cool.

那就去吧。

Let's do that.

所以我也想为那种活动打扮，但当时根本不适合，现在回想起来也不可爱。

And so And so I wanted to, like, dress for that, but it wasn't, like, in by any means, and it also wasn't cute looking back.

但现在我觉得我的风格几乎就是在模仿那种感觉。

But now I feel like my style almost, like, emulates that.

就是非常舒适。

It's, like, very comfortable.

我要是想的话，现在就能出去爬树，因为穿的就是运动裤。

I could probably go out and climb a tree if I wanted to because it's, like, literally sweatpants.

是啊。

Yeah.

但当时我并不知道那才是我真正想穿的风格。

But I just didn't know at the time that that's how I really wanted to dress.

嗯。

Mhmm.

就像我之前说的，看老照片什么的，我小时候确实那么穿，因为根本不在乎别人怎么想。

And like I was saying about, like, old pictures and stuff, I used to dress like that when I was younger because I didn't care what people thought.

后来我陷入了一种思维，觉得‘我该穿得漂亮点’，结果就穿起了什么破 polo 衫和紧身牛仔裤，那根本不是真实的我。

And then I got into that space of like, well, I should probably like look cute or I should probably And then I'm wearing like freaking polos and like skinny jeans and like, that's just not me.

对吧。

Right.

再后来我终于想通了——我爱我所爱，就要穿我想穿的。

And then I got to the space of being like, I love what I love and I'm gonna wear what I wear.

现在我真的会穿运动裤出门。

And now I will literally wear sweatpants out.

要是夜店酒吧还开着，我绝对会穿运动裤材质的短款西装外套去。

If clubs and bars were open, I would literally wear a crop top blazer that's sweatpants material.

我从18岁起就一直这么做了。

I have been doing that since I was 18 years old.

明白吗？

Okay?

我20岁左右经常和女朋友去酒吧，大概20、21岁的样子，我们就是想去和男生调情。

I used to go to the bar when I was I was, like, probably 20 with my girlfriend, 20, 21, somewhere in that area, and we would be, like, looking to flirt with boys.

我发誓我们以前经常聊这个话题。

And I swear I said we would talk about this all the time.

有次我们穿着睡衣去了常去的俱乐部。

When we went we went to our club in the in our pajamas once.

那是我这辈子被搭讪最多的一次，因为当你感到舒适自信，做真实的自己时，根本不在乎酒吧里其他人穿什么。

I've never been hit on more in my life because it just like the it's like you're comfortable, you're confident, you're, you know, you are feeling you and you don't care who else is wearing what in this bar.

我们经常这么干。

We would do it all the time.

我们会穿运动裤去酒吧，有次保安还跟我说：'凯特琳，今晚不能穿拖鞋'。

We would wear sweatpants to the bar and people like, remember the bouncers one time told me, like, you can't wear your slippers tonight, Caitlin.

因为我当时已经到了一个阶段，真的会直接穿着拖鞋去酒吧。

Like because I just got to a point where I would, like, literally wear my slippers into the bar.

我当时就想，好吧。

And I was like, okay.

有道理。

Fair.

有道理。

Fair.

有道理。

Fair.

但有趣的是，你穿得越舒适，越符合自己的感觉，你就越自信。

But that's it's it's funny how the more comfortable you dress and like to to fit the way you feel, the more confident you are.

确实。

True.

听你这么说的时候我在想，感觉你是在说你经常被人搭讪。

And I was just thinking while you're saying that, I feel like you were saying you got hit on a lot.

人们大概能明显感受到你的自信。

Well, people could probably freaking pick up on your confidence.

就像这个女孩穿着睡衣和拖鞋走进来，显得超级自信。

It's like this girl walked in in pajamas and like slippers like you're freaking confident.

我是说，有时候我在自己家里穿着某些睡衣都不自信，因为它们不够可爱。

I mean, I'm not confident in my own house sometimes in some of my pajamas because they're not cute.

所以，你知道，我就是...嗯，对。

So, you know, I just yeah, yeah.

我是说，Jason前几天就这样，现在每周两次，我试着做头发护理，然后戴上加热帽，再戴上保持器，穿着这些一点都不性感的睡衣，虽然有点尴尬但同时又不在乎。

That's I mean, did Jason sometimes like that the other day, actually now twice a week, I'm trying to do this where put on like a hair treatment, and then I have a heating cap that goes on top of it and I pop my retainers in and then I've got these pajamas that are like not sexy at all and then I'm like okay yeah this is kind of embarrassing but at the same time I don't care.

不。

No.

我懂那种感觉。

I feel that.

我真的有顶黑色睡帽，可能该换新的了。

I literally have this black bonnet, and I probably need a new one.

但是我的我的头很大。

But my my I have a large head.

听众们，你们看不到我的头很大，而且我的头发也很多。

Like, you for listeners, you guys can't see my head's large, but also my hair is large.

你的头发真多，我太羡慕了。

Your hair is large, and I'm so jealous of it.

我这辈子就想要一头浓密的卷发。

I just all I wanted in life was, like, big curly hair.

哦，好笑的是我其实直到今年三月才开始这样留头发。

Oh, what's so funny though is I actually didn't start wearing my hair like this until March.

是不是很疯狂？

Isn't that crazy?

真的。

Way.

是啊。

Yes.

而且这

And it's

因为它很适合你。

It because suits you.

你看起来太棒了。

You look so good.

我超爱这样。

I love it.

谢谢。

Thank you.

嗯，我是说，就像我说的，住在一个小镇上，当你像我这样时，这里没有人以这种方式看起来像我。

Well, I mean, like I said, living in a small town and when you like I, there's no one here that looks like me in this way.

所以你必须要真正、真正地对自己感到舒适，去做你真心觉得最适合你的事。

So you just have to really, really be comfortable with yourself to just do what you truly feel like is best for you.

所以在三月，我是说，我当时在家。

And so in March, I mean, I was at home.

我当时就想，你知道吗，我就要按照自己觉得合适的方式来打理我的头发。

I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna like wear my hair like the way that I think it should be worn.

然后后来我想，虽然我不确定，但我实在想象不出其他造型了。

And then after I mean, I guess I don't know, but I can't picture it any other way.

那样并不好看。

It wasn't cute.

我正想说这个。

I was gonna say that.

确实不

It wasn't

打算回头去Instagram上翻你以前的照片看看。

gonna go back and, like, stalk you on Instagram for a while just so I could see.

好吧。

Alright.

我特别喜欢播客这个环节，可以聊聊节目上出现的品牌，因为我现在就坐在这里闻着他们一款超棒产品的香味。

I do love this time of the pod where I get to talk about the brand that's on my show because I'm sitting here right now smelling one of their incredible products.

我说的是Kaldrea。

I'm talking about Kaldrea.

Kaldrea致力于用他们令人惊叹的香氛和产品（如洗手液、乳液等）来改变您的家居护理习惯。

Kaldrea is here to help change your home care routine with their amazing scents and their products such as hand soaps, lotions, more.

不得不说，当我使用的产品散发着天堂般的香气时，我真的更享受打理家务和照顾自己的过程。

I have to say I really do enjoy taking care of my home and taking care of myself so much more when the products I'm using smell like heaven.

我指的是海盐橙花、雪松薰衣草这类香型。

I'm talking about scents like sea salt neroli, lavender cedar leaf.

每次使用这款乳液或香皂时，我都感觉自己置身于高端水疗中心，即便只是在厨房、卧室或浴室里，也能享受这种自我犒赏的感觉。

Every time I'm using the lotion or soap, I just feel like I'm in a very expensive spa, treat myself even though I'm just in my kitchen, my bedroom, or bathroom.

每款产品都融合了花卉和草本精油，真正为您的日常护理增添奢华体验。

Each product uses a combination of essential oils from flowers and herbs that really do bring some luxury into your daily routine.

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The lavender cedar leaf, it's so, like, cool and calming.

它让我仿佛漫步在古老的森林中，或是其他同样充满魔力的地方。

It makes me feel like I'm just walking through the old woods or something equally as magical.

我真心致力于让日常生活更加愉悦，尤其是在我们居家时间如此之长、自我护理前所未有的重要时期。

I really am all about trying to make my daily routine that much more enjoyable, when we're spending this much time at home and at a time where self care has never been more important.

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Kaldrae's unique scents truly transform your daily routine with a dose of luxe and a touch of good clean fun.

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Get 20% off with code o t v 20 when you buy online at caldrea.com.

网址是caldrea.com。

That's caldrea.com.

立即探索属于您的香氛。

Discover your scent now.

正如每个人都是独特的，每份纳税申报表也各不相同。

No two people are alike, and no two tax returns are alike either.

幸运的是，TurboTax Live拥有真正倾听您需求的资深税务专家。

Thankfully, TurboTax Live has experienced tax experts who really listen to you.

他们会了解您独特的税务状况，并帮助您获得最佳税务结果。

They learn about your unique tax situation and help you get the best tax outcome.

也许你今年结婚了，对这会如何影响你的报税状态有些疑问。

Maybe you got married this year and have some questions about how that affects your filing status.

也许你需要专家审核你的税表，以免漏掉刚买新房的可抵扣项，或者你想从头到尾委托他人办理，这样就能专注于你的婴儿摄影事业了。

Maybe you want an expert to review your returns so you don't miss any deductions on the new house you just bought, or maybe you want to hand the whole thing off from start to finish so that you can focus on your baby photographer career maybe.

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Whether you want to file with help of an expert or let an expert file for you, TurboTax Live tax experts give you the confidence to know that your uniquely you taxes are done right.

Intuit TurboTax Live。

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您正在收听的是凯特琳·布里斯托主持的《Off the Vine》节目。

You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow.

说到不讨喜的事情，你今天有什么要向我坦白的吗？

Speaking of not cute things, do you have any confessions to share with me today?

哦，天啊。

Oh, god.

有。

Yes.

好的。

Okay.

好的。

Okay.

每当有人开始坦白时，我脸上总会露出最灿烂的笑容，因为我就想，会是什么事呢？

I always get the biggest smile on my face when people start to confess someday because I'm like, what's it gonna be?

这让我直冒汗。

This is making me sweat.

我猜这些会是些精彩的坦白。

Guess that's those are gonna be the good confessions.

好吧。

Okay.

这事和浴室有关，不过好吧。

It has to do with the bathroom, but Okay.

太好了。

Great.

没关系。

That's Okay.

对。

Yep.

我得先铺垫一下场景。

I gotta set the scene.

好吗？

Okay?

所以你认为我的

So you think that my

我们会闭上眼睛。

We'll town our eyes.

是的。

Yes.

是的。

Yes.

闭上眼睛。

Close your eyes.

所以你认为我住在一个小镇上。

So you think that I live in a small town.

嗯哼。

Mhmm.

我丈夫是在一个更小的镇上长大的。

My husband grew up in an even smaller town.

我是说，我觉得他们那儿的人口大概就一千人左右，或者

I mean, I think their population is like a thousand people or like

不可能吧。

No way.

没开玩笑。

Not kidding.

我第一次见到他的时候，我们绕着街区走了一圈，他就说，这就是个小镇。

Like, I first met him, we walked around the block and he was like, this is a town.

不，这家保龄球馆有一年烧毁了。

No This bowling alley burned down one year.

我是说，对，就是这么小。

Like, I mean, yeah, so small.

场景是这样的，我们在他的父母家。

So setting the scene, we're at his parents' house.

我超级爱他们。

Love them to death.

他们是非常非常善良温和的人，但也很安静。

They are like very, very sweet, kind people, but also very quiet people.

好吧。

Okay.

是啊。

Yeah.

哦天哪。

Oh boy.

我不是。

I am not.

就像你能看出来的，我就像一团疯狂的活力。

I mean, as you can tell, I'm like a ball of craziness.

通常我们去那里时，就是我看看电视，然后可能一个人说点什么，接着就安静下来。

So usually when we go there, it's just I will watch TV and we'll just kind of like one person will say something and then it'll be quiet.

然后另一个人说点什么，又安静下来。

And then someone else will say something and it'll be quiet.

总之氛围就是非常安静，像是个放松的地方。

So just giving the vibe, very quiet, like chill place.

是啊。

Yeah.

所以我得去趟洗手间。

So I had go to the bathroom.

哦，不。

Oh, no.

哦，那挺好的。

Oh, that's good.

那里有两个卫生间，我本应该上楼去的。

And there's two bathrooms, and I should have went upstairs.

不知道为什么我没去。

Don't know why I didn't.

哦，不。

Oh, no.

我也应该先敲敲卫生间的门。

I also should have knocked on the bathroom door.

哦，不。

Oh, no.

我就这么直接闯了进去，像往常一样大声嚷嚷，连门都没敲。

And I just barge in, just being me loud, just whatever, didn't even knock.

结果我公公正坐在马桶上。

And my husband's dad is sitting on the toilet.

是的。

Yes.

然后，我...哦天哪。

And just, I he oh my god.

他坐在马桶上，看着我。

Sitting on the toilet, he looks at me.

我看着他。

I look at him.

他看着我。

He looks at me.

我当时就想，天哪。

And I was like, my god.

我得走了。

I'm gonna go.

我直接砰地关上了门。

And I just cut I just shut the door.

我当时就想，这到底是怎么回事？

I was like, what the heck?

然后他从浴室出来了。

Like So he comes out of the bathroom.

一句话都没说，那大概是五年前的事了。

Not one word has been said, and this was, like, five years ago.

不。

No.

别说了。

Stop it.

不。

No.

不是。

Not.

你们可以聊，他来了

You guys can talk he came

从浴室出来。

out of the bathroom.

他就假装这事没发生过？

He just pretended it never happened?

是啊。

Yeah.

别说了。

Stop.

但现在你们聊过这事了？

But now you've talked about it?

没有。

No.

所以现在我们可能在B级片里讨论这事了。

So now we're probably gonna talk about it in b list.

哦

Oh

天哪。

my gosh.

太不可思议了。

That's amazing.

哦，那绝对是最尴尬的事情之一，还有比如撞见父母在做些什么，或者他们撞见你在做什么，这三件事大概是最尴尬的了

Oh, that is one of the most that and, like, walking in on your parents, like, doing something or them walking in on you, like, those three right there might be the most embarrassing things of them

我觉得如果不提这事反而更让人不自在。

I feel like it's more uncomfortable if you don't talk about it.

我是说，

I mean,

我完全同意。

if I Totally.

如果我

If I

撞见别人时我会说，我的天啊。

walk into someone and I'm like, oh my god.

这很尴尬，奇怪，让人不舒服。

It's awkward, weird, like uncomfortable.

然后你走出去，就像，随便发生什么吧。

And then you walk out and you're like, like, whatever happens.

就像，感觉没那么不自在了。

Like, it's like, it's not as uncomfortable.

真的再也没提过这事。

Literally never talked about it ever.

就像是

It's like

你说得对。

You're right.

正是避而不谈才让尴尬放大了十倍。

It's when you don't talk about it that makes it 10 times more awkward.

希望你们现在能聊聊这事了。

I hope you guys talk about it now.

如果这是这期播客带来的结果，你必须告诉我，因为我觉得你们现在必须得谈谈这事了。

Just if that's what comes from this podcast, you have to tell me because I'm like, you have to talk about it now.

你知道什么会更尴尬吗？

You know what would be more uncomfortable?

什么？

What?

如果他们听了播客而我们还是避而不谈。

If they listen to the podcast and we still don't talk about it.

就像，事情发生了，我们见面了，你出来了，然后我们聊了播客的事。

It's like, so it happened, we saw each other, you came out, And then we talked about the podcast.

你听听看。

You listen.

快说吧。

Do it.

你觉得他们要是听到了会说些什么？

You think they would say if if they heard it?

他们确实是很安静的人，所以可能不会说。

They're really quiet people, so they might not.

就像，他们只是非常温和。

Like, they're just they're just so sweet.

但他们在那种情况下就是非常安静的人。

Like but they're just very quiet people in that way.

所以，他们可能不会觉得好笑。

So, like, they might not funny.

是啊，我无法想象——Jason的家人非常热闹，用最好的方式来说，他们来自纽约州布法罗，热情奔放，做真实的自己，我很喜欢这样。我家也很热闹，除了我爸爸，他是最安静的。

Yeah I can't imagine I mean that's Jason's family is very loud in the best way possible like they're like loud and proud from Buffalo New York and they're just like they are who they are and I love it and my family is loud except for my dad That's like the quietest.

但很有趣的是，我无法想象和安静的父母相处会怎样。

But it's so funny because I can't imagine being with quiet parents.

是啊，我是说，我家情况也很相似。

Yeah, mean, my family is very similar.

听起来和Jason家很像，我记得我丈夫——我们在一起八年了，但结婚才两年。

It sounds like to Jason's because like I remember when my husband, we've been together for eight years in total, but only married for two.

我们刚认识时，他来我家就被震住了，说天哪你们家人怎么都抢着说话。

When we first met, he came over to my house and was like, wow, like everyone just kind of talks over each other.

我就说对啊，我们全家都这样。

I was like, yeah, we do, all of us.

我有五个兄弟姐妹，加上父母两条狗什么的，家里可热闹了。

But I have five siblings and then my two parents and dogs and stuff, it's loud.

噢对，你有五个兄弟姐妹啊。

Oh yeah, have five siblings.

这种家庭怎么可能安静得了。

That does not call for a quiet household.

可不嘛。

No, no.

太棒了。

That's amazing.

好了，结束前咱们再玩个小游戏吧。

Okay, I wanna play one game with you before we go.

好的，我觉得我得拿起饮料了，因为我刚才好像在说麦片什么的

Okay, I feel like I need to pick up my drink because I've had like Yeah, cereal, yeah, that's

经常发生的情况是，我聊得太嗨了，就算喝了杯酒也完全没感觉

what happens too is I get so chatty that even if I do have a glass of wine, I'm still not feeling anything by the way.

就是这么回事

So there's that.

我们来玩这个游戏吧

Mean We'll play this game.

我能说件事吗？

Can I say one thing?

当然，请说

Yeah, please.

好

K.

你还记得以前你经常去婚礼上蹭场子吗？

So do you remember when you used to, like, crash weddings?

是啊。

Yeah.

我五年前就邀请你来参加我的婚礼了，可你压根没露面。

I invited you like five years ago to my wedding and you didn't ever see it.

你根本没来。

You didn't ever see it.

但我想说，你的气场简直太有趣了。

But I just want to say, I feel like your vibe is just so freaking fun.

你真该重操旧业去婚礼上蹭场子。

You need to start crashing weddings again.

天啊。

Oh my gosh.

谢谢。

Thank you.

你说得真逗，我猜我确实去过，然后我们就成了朋友。

You're That's so funny that you and I imagine I did, and then we've been like friends since.

这简直太疯狂了。

That was that's wild.

你为什么要结婚？

Why did you get married?

在伊利诺伊州的皮奥里亚。

In Peoria, Illinois.

真的是个鸟不拉屎的地方。

So literally middle of nowhere.

又是一个鸟不拉屎的地方。

Another middle of nowhere place.

但是

But

这太搞笑了。

That's so funny.

天啊。

Oh my gosh.

我应该重新开始去蹭婚礼了。

I should start crashing weddings again.

我是说，这在疫情期间不太合适，但与此同时，我们马上就要迎来转机了。

I mean, that's not very pandemic friendly, but at the same time, that's we're gonna turn a corner here.

我们 而且

We And

我要重新开始这么做了。

I'm gonna start doing that again.

你知道吗？

You know what?

我要重新开始这么做了。

I'm gonna start doing that again.

那真是太有趣了。

It was so fun.

我想我已经蹭过五场婚礼了，这真的是我最喜欢的消遣方式之一。

I think I've crashed five now, five weddings, and it's truly one of one of my favorite pastimes.

我觉得你会像打了鸡血一样冲进来，把气氛搞得超嗨。

I feel like you would come in just like balls to the walls, like, just make it so fun.

我是说，这正是每场婚礼都需要的。

And that's, I mean, what everybody needs at their wedding.

天啊。

Damn.

我在婚礼上可会玩了。

I am fun at weddings.

这点我承认。

I will give myself that.

我超爱参加好婚礼。

I love a good wedding.

噢，我都等不及要办自己的婚礼了。

Oh, can't I wait for mine.

疫情啊，快点结束吧。

Like, hurry up, pandemic.

想要你的婚礼。

Wanna yours.

别担心。

No worries.

好吧，你被邀请了。

Well, you're invited.

所以对你来说，我们可以假装你没被邀请，然后你可以突然出现，但我会为你和你丈夫准备好餐具，实际上你在餐桌上有个位置。

So to you could we could pretend you're not, and then you can crash it, but I'll have, like, a plate set up for you and your husband, and you're you actually have a spot at the table.

好的。

Okay.

酷。

Cool.

好的。

Okay.

太棒了。

Amazing.

好的。

Okay.

我给你准备的游戏叫做‘我们很怪，但我们不陌生’。

My game for you is called we're strange, but we're not strangers.

我听说你和我一样喜欢玩游戏。

So I heard that you love playing games as do I.

无论是桌游、纸牌游戏，我可是个超级游戏迷。

Everything board games, card games, I'm a huge game guy.

我看到你最喜欢的游戏之一是《我们并不陌生》，这太酷了。

And I saw one of the ones you love is We're Not Really Strangers, which is so cool.

我想我可以问你几个来自那个游戏的问题，这样我们可以更了解肖格内西。

And I thought I could ask you a few questions from that so we could get to know Shaughnessy a bit more.

那么让我们深入一点。

So let's get deep here.

你准备好了吗？

Are you ready?

我不知道。

I don't know.

这些问题太深入了，就像我知道的那样。

These questions get deep, like like I know.

幸好我这杯酒还没喝完，因为我不想哭哭啼啼的。

Glad I've only had like I haven't finished this glass yet because I don't wanna be like crying or anything.

你可以再喝一口。

You can take another sip.

我会挑几个好问题来问。

I'm gonna I'm gonna go through a few and try and get some good ones.

好了，你觉得自己需要改掉哪部分？

Okay, what part of yourself do you need to break up with?

我有这么个毛病——认识我的人，包括我丈夫，每次出门前都会叮嘱我：别表现得太热情，好吗？

So I have this thing, everyone who knows me, my husband, before I go anywhere, he's like, don't come on too strong, okay?

我非常清楚自己在交友方面（仅限于友情）总是过于热情。

And I am well aware that I come on very strong with friendships, friendships only, yeah.

当我感觉遇到一个我想交朋友或者很合拍的人时，我就会觉得她可能成为我一生的挚友。

When I feel like there's someone that I like wanna be friends with or we vibe and I'm like, I could see her being my best friend for life.

我表现得过于热情。

I come on really strong.

我需要稍微收敛一点，因为我要学会接受不是所有人都喜欢我。

I need to like just tone it down a bit because I need to be okay with not everyone liking me.

对那些我并不在意的人，我无所谓。

I'm fine with people that I don't really care for.

他们不必喜欢我。

Like, they don't have to like me.

是的。

Yeah.

如果遇到我觉得能成为朋友的人，我就会特别在意。

If it's someone I feel like we be friends, like, I have a thing.

我需要学会放手。

Like, I need to let that go.

你丈夫说‘别太热情，试试看’的样子真可爱。

That's so cute that your husband says, don't come on, please try.

真的。

Literally.

天啊。

Oh my gosh.

太有趣了。

That is funny.

好的。

Okay.

用一个词描述你与自己的关系？

How would you describe your relationship with yourself in one word?

快乐。

Happy.

完美，简单，我喜欢，快乐。

Perfect, simple, love it, happy.

噢，这让我很开心。

Oh, that just made me happy.

而你当时

And you had

脸上露出了真诚的笑容

a genuine smile on your face

当你说出这个词的时候。

when you said it.

好的，最近你因为拒绝什么事情而最为自己感到骄傲？

Okay, what are you proudest of yourself for saying no to recently?

拒绝...这个问题有点难回答。

Saying no to, that's a hard one.

我们可以跳过这个直接

We can skip that one and go

进入下一个问题。

to another one.

我们稍后再回到那个话题。

Let's come back to that one.

好的。

Okay.

我得好好想想。

I gotta think about that.

好的，等等，完成这个句子。

Okay, wait, finish this sentence.

我想允许自己去感受

I wanna give myself permission to feel

感受自信。

to feel confident.

噢，我喜欢这个。

Oh, I like that.

在我脑海里，我原本想的是愤怒、抑郁之类的，但我现在更喜欢给自己这个——自信。

In my head, I was like angry, like depressed, I I like give myself that, confident.

是的，你给了自己这种许可。

Yes, you give yourself that permission.

我非常喜欢这个回答。

I like that answer a lot.

好的，最后一个问题。

Okay, last one.

有陌生人曾改变过你的人生吗？

Has a stranger ever changed your life?

我不确定，贝利最初也是个陌生人，但我觉得她确实改变了我的生活。

I don't know, Bailey was a stranger at one point and I feel like she has definitely changed my life.

我太喜欢这个回答了。

I love that.

贝利是

Bailey is

她人超级好。

She's so sweet.

太不可思议了。

Incredible.

她确实是我这辈子遇到过最体贴、最善良的人之一。

She's she's really one of the most thoughtful, kindest humans I think I've ever met in my life.

她确实如此。

She really is.

我们其实是通过她的播客认识的，不久前我还给她发过消息。

Like we actually met because of her podcast and I texted her not that long ago.

我当时说，我记得你想邀请我上节目时，我们算是认识，但又不算熟。

I was like, I remember when you wanted me to be on the pod and we kind of knew each other, but not really.

我当时就觉得，哦，这没什么大不了的。

And I was just like, oh, it's just, whatever.

但后来我们一拍即合，我看到了她的真心，看到她有多在乎别人。

And then we just clicked and then I saw her heart and how she like really cares about people.

我感觉，我也说不清楚。

And I feel like, I don't know.

她总是让我不断思考和学习，所以，是的，我很感激她。

She's always has me thinking and learning and so, yeah, I appreciate her.

我也是。

Me too.

我正看着这个她圣诞节做给我的小罐子。

I'm actually looking at this little jar she made me for Christmas.

这是个装满粉色便利贴的小罐子，每张都折起来，大概有100张，写着100件她喜欢我的事情。如果我心情不好，就抽一张出来读。

And it's this little jar with a bunch of pink sticky notes in it all folded up, and there's like a 100 of them, and it's like a 100 things that she like loves about me that if I'm having a bad day, I just go and pull one of those out of the jar and read it.

我知道。

I know.

这太贴心了。

That's so sweet.

我当时就想，天啊，你怎么会想到这个？

And I was like, oh my gosh, how did you even think about that?

她总是想得很周到，还经常给我寄加拿大特产。

Like she always thinks and she'll always send me Canadian treats.

比如我哪天心情不好，她就会给我寄一袋番茄酱味薯片之类的加拿大特产。

Like if I had a bad day, she'll like send me a bag of ketchup chips and and something from Canada.

然后我就觉得，哇这让我感觉自己好差劲，因为我从来都不是最会送礼或心思最细腻的人，所以我就想，天哪我得提升下自己的

And I'm like, oh, that makes me feel like a dick because I don't ever I'm not like the best gift giver or the most thoughtful gift giver, so then I'm like, wow, I need to step up my

友谊段位了。

friendship game here.

我全职工作的时候，她直接给我寄了瓶香槟，我当时就惊了，这也太夸张了吧？

Well, when I went full time, she like sent me a bottle of champagne and like, I I was just like, what?

我知道。

I know.

只是觉得她让我出乎意料。

Just thought she makes me out of blue.

她是最体贴的人。

She's the most thoughtful human.

那你得把地址发我，我好寄些我的白葡萄酒给你，这样你就不用喝那些你已经知道看起来完美的其他酒了。

Well, you're gonna have to send me your address so I can send you some of my white wine so you don't have to drink the other stuff that you already know look Perfect.

但如果人们来关注你的页面，他们能从你的帖子和故事中期待些什么呢？能否简单概括一下。

But I just If people come to follow you on your page, what can they expect out of posts and stories and like, if you could sum it up.

首先我想说的是整体上的积极态度。

The first thing I would say is just positivity overall.

我觉得我这种特质是遗传自我妈妈的。

Like I am just, my mom, I feel like I get this from her.

她一直都是那种每天醒来都心情很好的人。

She has always been the type of person where she wakes up in a good mood every day.

而我也继承了她这一点。

And like, I get that from her.

最重要的是，你会看到我始终保持积极，无论是展示一个大厅还是打扫卫生，都会充满正能量。

And so like more than anything, you'll see just like me being positive, whatever avenue that's in, whether that's like showing a hall or like cleaning stuff or whatever, it's just always gonna be positive.

即使当我展现脆弱一面谈论困难时，我仍努力保持良好心态。

And I feel like even when I am vulnerable and like talking about things that are hard, I feel like I still try to keep a really good perspective.

这就是我能给出的最佳概括。

So that's like how I could sum it up the best.

我太喜欢了。

I love it.

那你是不是经常这样，就是去购物然后分享一些超值好物？

And and you do you always do that where you kinda go shopping and you like talk about good deals?

天啊。

Oh god.

是的。

Yeah.

我是说，我购物超频繁的。

I mean, I shop so much.

你会看到很多中性风格的服装，还有超多舒适的单品。

You'll see a lot of neutral, like, clothing, tons of cozy stuff.

你会看到像食品采购分享啊，什么最好吃啊，还有家里超好用的清洁产品之类的。

You'll see, like, grocery hauls of, like, the best things to eat, cleaning products that are great to use in your house.

你还会看到我家那只超级可爱的狗狗。

You'll see my dog who is freaking Oh, cute.

你的狗叫什么名字来着？

Is your dog's name again?

是以B开头的。

Starts with a b.

贝恩。

Bain.

对。

Yeah.

贝恩。

Bain.

是的。

Yeah.

没错。

Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

天哪，简直是有史以来最壮实、最圆润、最可爱的小家伙了。

Oh my and just the biggest, chunkiest, like, cutest little thing ever.

他真的太、太可爱了。

He is so, so cute.

嗯，谁不喜欢关注一个既有重要发声，又分享服装、狗狗和正能量的账号呢？

Well, who doesn't love an account to follow where they have a voice that they use for important things, clothes too, dogs, and just positivity.

我超喜欢你做的事。

I love what you're doing.

非常感谢你。

Thank you so much.

对了，你的Instagram账号是什么？大家可以关注你。

Oh, and where what is your Instagram so people can follow you?

好的。

Okay.

我得拼写出来，因为说实话。

So I have to spell it because I'm gonna be totally honest.

我听播客时从来不会点开那些描述内容。

When I listen to podcasts, I never click in the little whatever description thing.

就是不会点。

Just don't.

所以如果你在听且也不这么做，这条就是给你的。

And so for you, if you're listening and you don't do that, this is for you.

拼写是S H A W N A C I S C H R O E D，最后的E R就像dog里的E R。

It's spelled S H A W N A C I S C H R O E D as in dog E R.

肖娜西·施罗德（Shaughnessy Schroeder），所有平台都是这个名字，Instagram、YouTube。

Shaughnessy Schroeder and that's everywhere, Instagram, YouTube.

对。

Yeah.

我猜你可能会链接她——我丈夫的

And I'm sure you'll probably link her My husband's

名字是肖娜西（Shaughnessy），但她拼写成S H A U G

name is Shaughnessy, but she spells it S H A U G

嗯，是的。

E Yeah.

嗯

H

不过呢，两种拼法我都喜欢，这真是个美丽的名字。

So that's, but that's, I love both ways and it's such a beautiful name.

非常感谢你能来参加播客节目。

Well, thank you so, so much for coming on the podcast.

很高兴我们至少通过Zoom见面了。

I'm so glad we got a chance to meet over Zoom at least anyways.

也许有一天能线下见面，那一定会非常美好。

And maybe one day in person, that would be really lovely.

我们可以一起喝酒玩游戏。

We will have wine and play games.

在那场婚礼上，一定会的。

At that wedding, for sure.

是的。

Yes.

在我的婚礼上。

At my wedding.

希望在那之前就能见面，不过谁知道呢。

Hopefully before that, but you never know.

好的。

Yes.

太棒了。

Amazing.

非常感谢你来参加播客节目。

Thank you so, so much for coming on the pod.

谢谢。

Thank you.

我对此非常感激。

I appreciate it so much.

我是凯特琳·布里斯托。

I'm Caitlin Bristow.

下周二见。

I'll see you next Tuesday.

感谢收听凯特琳·布里斯托主持的《Off the Vine》。

Thanks for listening to off the vine with Caitlin Bristow.

每周二独家更新，请登录podcast1.com、使用Podcast One应用收听，或在苹果播客上订阅。

Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast1.com, the podcast one app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts.

谁支持OTV？

Who's down with OTV?

好吧。

Alright.

你是自有住房还是租房住？

Do you own or rent your own home?

我确信你有房子，而且我猜这可能是件辛苦事。

I'm sure you do, and I bet it could be hard work.