第0集

这太令人兴奋了，我都出汗了。

This is so exciting, I'm sweating.

每一天都会发生一些事情，让这一切变得值得。

And every single day, something happens that makes it worth it.

我爱死它了。

I love it.

嘿。

Hey.

欢迎来到《Ologies》第零集，我是艾莉·沃德。

Welcome to episode zero of ologies with Alie Ward.

我是艾莉·沃德，我的工作是CBS的科学记者——天啊，我刚说错话了，各位。

I'm Alie Ward, and my deal is I'm a CBS science correspondent for wow, I already screwed this up you guys.

为什么要搞一个第零集？

Why why do an episode zero?

这就像一个占位符，告诉大家这档节目是关于什么的，也让大家认识一下我。

This is like a placeholder to be like, hey, this is what the thing's gonna be about and let's see who I am.

所以你们可以先试听一下，这样当第一集正式上线时，它就已经在你们的设备里、在你们的耳朵里了。

So you can get a taste of it and then subscribe that way when the very first first episode drops, it's in your devices, in your ears.

我是Alie Ward，是一名CBS科学记者，同时也是播客《睡衣派对》的联合主持人，我痴迷于各种‘-logy’已经十多年了。我记得十多年前，我在网上偶然看到一份‘-logy’清单，那种看到令人兴奋到想吐的感觉，我就经历了。

So I'm Alie Ward, I'm a CBS science correspondent, I'm also co host of a podcast called Slumber Party and I've been obsessed with ologies more than a decade and I remember like over ten years ago, was on the internet and I came across this list of ologies and you know when you see something that's so exciting you like you feel like you're gonna throw up a little bit, that happened to me.

我兴奋得想读完所有这些我从没听说过的奇怪‘-logy’，比如nidology是研究鸟巢的，calology是研究美的，latrinology是研究厕所墙上涂写的内容的。

I got so excited to read all of these weird ologies that I never knew existed like nidology is the study of birds nests and calology is the study of beauty, latrinology is the study of writing on toilet walls.

还有nasology，研究标本制作的；mycotoxicology，研究有毒真菌的。

I mean there's nasology, study of taxidermy, mycotoxicology, toxic fungus.

有这么多不同的‘-logy’，就意味着有这么多不同的‘-logist’，这些人到底是谁啊？研究云、小丑、蜜蜂的？他们到底在搞什么？

There's so many different ologies which means there's so many different ologists and it's like who are these people study clouds and clowns and bees and like what is their deal?

现在想想，播客真是个绝佳的方式，能逼着别人回答你关于他们生活的、过于私人的问题——因为麦克风就在那儿，他们不得不回答。

So fast forward to now, podcasts are a great way to corner someone and ask them way too personal questions about their life and they'll have to answer it because there's a microphone there.

所以，这就是我做这个播客的目的。

So that's what I'm doing with this podcast.

我正在结识这些非常棒的‘-logist’们，有些鲜为人知，有些没那么冷门，比如灵长类动物学家。

I'm meeting all of these really really awesome ologists, Some of them obscure, some of them less obscure, primatologists.

我的第一份工作是在新英格兰水族馆外打扮成一只龙虾。

My first job was dressing up like a lobster outside of the New England Aquarium.

在猩猩大楼里，我们总是说：猩猩赢了。

And we always say around the Chimp Building, like, Chimps win.

每天，猩猩都赢。

Every day, the chimps win.

宝石学家确实认为，水晶对女性来说是个东西。

Gemologists legitimately, bra crystals, I think, are a thing for women.

水晶胸罩？

Bra crystals?

胸罩

Bra

水晶。

crystals.

碰别人的水晶不合适吗？

Is it not kosher to touch someone's crystal?

因为我总感觉你不该碰他们的水晶。

Because I always feel like you're not supposed to touch their crystal.

这是个很好的问题。

That's a great question.

古生物学家。

Paleontologist.

有史以来最大的陆地动物。

Largest land animals of all time.

天哪。

Oh my god.

嗯，你说得对。

Well, you're right.

其实我今天早上解剖了一具尸体。

Actually, I did cut up a cadaver this morning.

所以这就像一个‘弗兰肯商店’？

So it's like a Frankensore?

就像一个弗兰肯索尔。

It's like a Frankensore.

好的。

Okay.

火山学家。

Volcanologists.

火山会呼吸。

Volcanoes breathe.

哦，这真吓人。

So Oh, that's creepy.

是的。

Yeah.

你必须保持这份热情，我认为这在当今对科学家来说至关重要。

You have to keep that joy, and that's that's what I think is so important these days for scientists.

你知道，我们确实有可能会死去。

You know, there's a very real possibility that we could die.

火山学家，你得等这个内容发布才能知道那是什么。

Torologists, you're gonna have to wait for that one to come out to find out what that is.

了解他们作为普通人的一面，了解他们每天的工作内容，他们工作中最好的日子和最糟的日子，他们为什么从事这份工作，真正认识科学背后的人。

And getting to know them as people and getting to know what they do on a day to day basis and what their best days in the job have been their worst days, why they do what they do and really getting to know the people behind the science.

因为我觉得，你经常听到的科学家言论，都是大文章里那些听起来非常官方的公关声明，我只是想坐下来和这些人聊聊，问问你们为什么要做这件事？

Because I feel like so many quotes you hear from scientists are like really official sounding PR statements in the middle of a big article about a topic and I just wanted to sit down with the people and say why are you doing this?

这种感觉是什么样的？

What is it like?

你们为什么热爱它？

Why do you love it?

我们还不知道什么？

What don't we know?

为了工作，你曾在公共场合在哪里上过厕所？

Where have you peed in public for your work?

你有没有真的搞砸过？

Have you ever really fucked up?

那感觉是什么样的？

What did that feel like?

最棒的一天是哪一天？

What's been the best day?

你的父母怎么看待你的工作？

What do your parents think of your job?

所有这些事情。

All of this stuff.

这就是‘学’系列节目的内容。

So that is what ologies is.

每一集我们都会邀请一位不同的‘学家’。

So we'll have a different ologist on every episode.

希望你们喜欢。

I hope you enjoy.

第一个话题还挺热门的。

The first one is a pretty hot topic.

这关于火山。

It's about volcanoes.

所以希望你们喜欢。

So I hope you like it.

谢谢。

Thank you.

订阅吧。

Subscribe.

你就能开始收听第一期了。

You'll be on your way to listening to the first one.

希望你们喜欢。

I hope you guys enjoy it.

感谢收听。

Thanks for listening.

我录这个有点紧张。

I'm nervous recording this.

好的。

Okay.

再来一些-ology学科。

Here's more ologies.

厚皮病学，-ology学科，神秘动物学，凝胶学，科技熵学，神经学，气象学,

Pachydermatology, ologies, cryptozoology, gelatology, and techno entology, neurology, meteorology,