自信的人每天都会对自己说的4件事

嘿，我是杰。

Hey, it's Jay.

我不知道你今天过得怎么样，但我刚才想你了。

I don't know what your day's been like, but I was just thinking about you for a minute.

我希望你能对自己多一点耐心，因为你值得。

And I hope you're being a little patient with yourself because you deserve it.

好，我很快再跟你聊。

And, yeah, I'll talk to you soon.

今天开始前，我想让你花点时间听听脑海里的那个声音。

As we begin today, I want you to take a second to just hear the voice inside your head.

就是那个让你打开这个播客的声音。

The one that led you to opening up this podcast.

那个可能在你今早睁开眼睛之前就开始跟你说话的声音。

The one that may have started talking to you before you even opened your eyes this morning.

当你双脚落地时，它提醒了你所有要做的事。

When your feet touched the floor, It reminded you of everything you needed to do.

当你照镜子的时候，它告诉你该有什么感觉。

When you looked in the mirror, it told you how to feel.

也许随着一天的开始，那个声音开始对你低声说出一些它绝不会对别人说出口的话。

And maybe as the day began, that voice began to whisper things about yourself that it would never say out loud about someone else.

我们每个人都有这样一个声音。

We all have a voice like this.

它如此一致地叙述着我们的经历，以至于我们最终都把它当成了理所当然，不再意识到那是一个声音。

It narrates our experiences so consistently that we eventually stop recognizing it as a voice.

我们会把这些念头当成事实来对待。

We begin experiencing its words as facts.

觉得事情永远都不会有改变。

Nothing is ever going to change.

不再只是随口一说，反而像是一种预言。

No longer sounds like a passing thought, it sounds like a prediction.

觉得自己做不到这一点，开始听起来像是我们真实身份的写照。

I'm not capable of this begins to sound like a description of who we really are.

没有人真正了解我，这感觉就像是在证明永远不会有人了解我。

Nobody really knows me feels like proof that nobody ever will.

想想你一天之内对自己说了多少次话。

Think about how many times you speak to yourself in a single day.

当你犯错时，当你看到别人的生活时，当你走进一个陌生的房间时，当你躺在床上想象所有可能出错的事情时，你都会听到自己的声音。没有哪个声音比自己的声音更忠实地跟随你。

You hear your own voice when you make a mistake, when you look at someone else's life, when you enter an unfamiliar room and when you lie awake imagining everything that could go wrong, no voice follows you more faithfully than your own.

然而，对我们很多人来说，这个声音我们从未刻意去塑造过。

And yet for many of us, it is a voice we have never been intentional about shaping.

这就是今天我想和大家一起改变的。

That is what I want us to change together today.

我要和大家分享几句口头禅，它们不仅能帮助你在脑海中那个声音开始消极时挣脱出来，还能帮助你彻底改变那个声音的整体基调。

I'm going to share a few mantras with you that will help you not only break free when that voice in your head starts speaking negatively, but will also help you completely change the tone of that voice overall.

每个人的声音都不一样。

Each voice is different.

所以我选了四句口头禅，分别针对不同类型的日子，因为你在人生的不同阶段需要不同的言语。

So I've chosen four mantras all designed for different kinds of days because you don't need the same words in every season of your life.

有些日子，你需要希望。

There are days when you need hope.

有些日子，你需要自信。

There are days when you need confidence.

有些日子，你需要敞开心扉，迎接机会。

There are days when you need to open yourself to opportunity.

还有些日子，你只需要回到当下。

And there are days when you simply need to return to the present moment.

今天听的时候，你的目标是留意哪句咒语像是为你量身定做的。

As you listen today, your goal is to notice which mantra feels as though it was written for you.

可能是最能安慰你的那句，也可能是你一开始抗拒的那句。

It may be the mantra that comforts you most, or it may be the one you initially resist.

有时候，我们难以说出口的话，恰恰揭示了内心最需要关注的地方。

Sometimes the words we struggle to say reveal the place within us that most needs our attention.

所以现在，如果你在走路，就让脚步找到一种轻柔的节奏。

So now, if you're walking, let your steps find a gentle rhythm.

如果你坐着，就让椅子多承受一点你的体重。

If you're sitting, allow the chair beneath you to carry a little more of your weight.

如果你躺着，放松下巴周围的肌肉，让双手放在舒服的位置。

If you're lying down, soften the muscles around your jaw and let your hands rest wherever they feel comfortable.

在节目后面，如果你觉得安全，我会邀请你跟着我重复这些咒语。

And later in the episode, if you feel safe, I'm going to invite you to repeat the mantras after me.

你不需要把这次体验做得完美。

You don't need to perform this experience correctly.

我只要求你在接下来的三十分钟里，让内心的那个声音去做一些不舒服的事情。

All I'm asking is that just for the next thirty minutes, you have that inner voice do something uncomfortable.

不是让它说话，而是让它倾听。

Instead of speaking, you have it listen.

对于不熟悉的人来说，咒语是一种有意识地选择我们想要练习的思维的方式。

For those who aren't familiar, a mantra is a way of consciously choosing the thought we want to practice.

我们重复的话语会引导我们的注意力。

The words we repeat direct our attention.

我们的注意力会影响我们的选择。

Our attention influences our choices.

我们的选择会建立自信，而自信会慢慢改变我们认为自己可能做到的事情。

Our choices create self trust and that trust slowly changes what we believe is possible for us.

你不必立刻相信每一个字。

You do not have to believe every word immediately.

你只需要愿意听到自己说出一些新的东西。

You only have to become willing to hear yourself say something new.

现在慢慢吸气，轻轻屏住，然后呼出。

So now take a slow breath in, hold it gently, and now let it go.

我们开始吧。

Let's begin.

对于第一个咒语，我想从一种我们很多人都经历过的感受开始。

For this first mantra, I want to start with a feeling many of us have experienced before.

绝望。

Hopelessness.

让我给你讲个故事。

Let me tell you a story.

我有个朋友，在她外婆去世后，帮忙清理外婆的房子。

A friend of mine was helping clear out her grandmother's home after she passed away.

那房子住了五十多年，每个房间都留着生活的痕迹，多到已经没法整齐地装进箱子里。

The house had been lived in for more than fifty years, and every room held evidence of a life that had become too large to fit neatly into boxes.

有外婆旅行时寄来的明信片，有她爱过的人送的生日卡，还有装满节日回忆的相册。

There were postcards from places her grandmother had visited, birthday cards from people she had loved, and photo albums filled with holiday memories.

在衣柜最底下，我朋友发现了一本旧日记。

At the bottom of a closet, my friend found an old journal.

大部分页面都是空白的，但开头附近有一篇外婆31岁时写的日记，那时候我朋友正好也是31岁。

Most of its pages were empty, but near the beginning was an entry her grandmother had written when she was 31 years old, the same age my friend was now.

字迹是外婆的，但透过文字说话的那个人，感觉像个陌生人。

The handwriting was hers, but the person speaking through it felt like a stranger.

外婆写道，她很害怕，很孤独，而且确信自己做了错误的选择。

Her grandmother wrote that she was scared, lonely, and certain she had made the wrong choices.

她最近失去了一个她需要的工作，一段认真的感情也结束了，而且有几个朋友似乎都在往前走，把她落在了后面。

She had recently lost a job she needed, a serious relationship had ended, and several of her friends seemed to be moving forward without her.

在那一页的底部，她写道：我觉得我的人生不会像我希望的那样发展。

At the bottom of the page, she had written, I don't think my life will work out how I hoped.

我的朋友坐在地板上，又读了一遍那句话。

My friend sat on the floor and read that sentence again.

她真希望能回到几十年前，让外婆看看后来发生的一切。

She wished she could go back decades earlier and show her grandmother everything that came afterward.

她会带她看现在她坐着的这个家，还有那个总是聚满人的厨房，因为外婆让每个人都感到受欢迎。

She would show her the home she was currently sitting in and the kitchen where people always gathered because her grandmother made everyone feel welcome.

她会让她看到那些持续一生的友谊，她后来去过的地方，她学会打理的菜园，一直陪在她身边的丈夫，还有那些她笑得眼泪都出来的普通夜晚。

She would show her the friendships that lasted a lifetime, the places she eventually traveled, the garden she learned to grow, the husband who stood by her side till the end, and all the ordinary evenings where she laughed so hard she cried.

最重要的是，我的朋友希望能让外婆看看她自己。

Most of all my friend wished she could show her grandmother herself.

她想说：你还没见过我呢。

She wanted to say, you haven't even met me yet.

你根本不知道，你对一个还没出生的人会有多重要。

You have no idea how important you are going to be to someone who doesn't even exist.

她外婆是在痛苦的一天里写下那篇日记的。

Her grandmother had written that journal entry from inside one painful day.

她看不到那之后的任何可能。

She couldn't see beyond it.

但她无法想象未来，并不代表未来不会来。

But her inability to imagine what came next had never meant that nothing was coming.

只是她人生的其余部分还没发生而已。

It only meant the rest of her life had not happened yet.

Instagram青少年账号自带保护功能，可以限制谁能联系青少年、他们能看到的内容，以及他们在应用上花费的时间。

Instagram teen accounts come with automatic protections that limit who can contact teens, the content they can see, and the time they spend on the app.

想了解更多关于青少年账号和Instagram持续保护青少年在线安全的工作，请访问instagram.com/teenaccounts。

Learn more about teen accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online at instagram.com/teenaccounts.

我觉得，这就是绝望让我们忘记的东西。

I think this is what hopelessness makes us forget.

也许有一天，有些人会无法想象没有你的生活，而你甚至还没见过他们。

There may be people who will one day be unable to imagine their lives without you, whom you haven't even met yet.

也许会有你让笑声充满的房间，会变得熟悉的地方，还有那些你现在愿意付出一切去看到的普通早晨。

There may be rooms you will fill with laughter, places that will become familiar, and ordinary mornings you would give anything to see from where you are standing now.

你正在读一页，却试图确定整个人生的意义。

You are reading one page and trying to determine the meaning of an entire life.

但你所在的这一页，无法告诉你下一章会出现谁。

But the page you're on cannot tell you who appears in the next chapter.

我们在自己的生活中也经常这样做。

We do this in our own lives all the time.

当一段关系结束时，心里会说：我再也不会找到那样的爱了。

When a relationship ends, the mind says, I'll never find love like that again.

当一个机会消失时，心里会说：那是我唯一的机会。

When an opportunity disappears, it says, That was my only chance.

当我们带着和昨天一样的痛苦醒来时，心里会告诉我们：这就是我永远的感受。

When we wake up carrying the same pain we carried yesterday, it tells us, This is how I'm going to feel forever.

绝望有一种让时间凝固的魔力。

Hopelessness has a way of collapsing time.

它把此刻的真实感受，放大成未来每一刻都会如此。

It takes something that is true in this moment and convinces us it will be true in every moment that follows.

“我今天不知道该怎么办”变成了“我永远都不知道该怎么办”。

I don't know what to do today becomes I will never know what to do.

“我还没找到志同道合的人”变成了“哪里都不会有我的容身之处”。

I haven't found my people yet becomes there is nowhere I will belong.

“这件事没成”变成了“我什么事都成不了”。

This didn't work out becomes nothing ever works out for me.

想想你过去经历的一段艰难时光。

Think about a difficult chapter from your past.

回想一个你觉得自己的人生无法继续的时刻。

Remember a moment when you couldn't see how your life could move forward.

也许你当时正在为某人悲伤，等待一个答案，为经济问题挣扎，或者试图从你希望可以收回的选择中恢复过来。

Maybe you were grieving someone, waiting for an answer, struggling financially or trying to recover from a choice you wished you could undo.

当时那种情绪可能让人觉得是永恒的。

At the time the emotion may have felt permanent.

但故事还是继续了下去。

Yet somehow the story continued.

你遇到了那些你当时根本想不到会遇到的人。

You met people you couldn't have known were coming.

你进行了那些你无法预料的对话。

You had conversations you couldn't have planned.

你适应了那些你曾经以为自己永远无法承受的现实。

You adapted to realities you once believed you could never survive.

你不需要对发生的一切心存感激，也不必假装痛苦不存在。

You may not be grateful for everything that happened, and you don't need to pretend that pain wasn't there.

但你现在站在了故事的一个新阶段，这是过去的你无法预见的。

But you're here standing in a part of the story that the earlier version of you could not see.

希望并不要求你相信一切都会完全按照你的意愿发展。

Hope does not require you to believe that everything will unfold exactly as you want it to.

也许你现在感到绝望。

Perhaps you currently feel hopeless.

我不会要求你把它说成是美好的。

I won't ask you to call it beautiful.

我不会告诉你一切都有原因，也不会催你在准备好之前就去找什么教训。

I won't tell you that everything happens for a reason or press you to find a lesson before you're ready.

我只想提醒你，一个艰难的时刻只是一个艰难的时刻。

I only want to remind you that one hard moment is just one hard moment.

它不是你这辈子剩下的日记。

It's not the rest of your life's journal.

再轻轻地吸一口气。

Take another gentle breath in.

呼气的时候，想象一本日记捧在你的手里。

As you breathe out, picture the pages of a journal resting in your hands.

想象你已经经历过的所有篇章，都压在你的左手下面。

Imagine all the pages you've already lived resting beneath your left hand.

现在感受一下你右手下那些空白页的重量。

Now feel the weight of all the blank pages still waiting beneath your right.

你不需要知道它们上面会写些什么。

You do not need to know what will be written on them.

你只需要记得它们存在。

You only need to remember that they exist.

跟我重复一遍。

Repeat after me.

这只是一个章节。

This is a chapter.

这不是全部的故事。

This is not the whole story.

再说一遍，这只是一个章节。

Again, this is a chapter.

这不是全部的故事。

This is not the whole story.

现在想一想那个让你感到绝望的情况。

Now think of the situation that has been making you feel hopeless.

你不需要解决它。

You don't need to solve it.

只要把它放在心里，再重复一遍那些话。

Simply hold it in your mind as you repeat the words one more time.

这只是一个章节。

This is a chapter.

这不是全部的故事。

This is not the whole story.

当你的思绪开始把痛苦变成预言时，用这个咒语。

Use this mantra when your mind begins turning pain into a prophecy.

当你发现自己用“总是”、“从不”、“每个人”这样的词时，就用它。

Use it when you catch yourself using words like always, never, everyone

或者“没有人”。

or no one.

让它打断你觉得眼前的困境永远不会结束的那一刻。

Let it interrupt the moment when your current hardship begins to feel never ending.

然后采取一个小行动，承认还有下一页的存在。

Then take one small action that acknowledges the existence of another page.

走出门去，约个时间。

Step outside, Make an appointment.

回一条消息。

Answer a message.

研究一个可能性。

Research one possibility.

告诉别人今天很难熬。

Tell someone that today is difficult.

你的行动不需要

Your action does not have

解决整个故事。

to resolve the whole story.

它只需要证明你还在继续参与接下来的篇章。

It simply needs to demonstrate that you are still participating in the pages moving forward.

深吸一口气，呼气时试着放下那个绝望的念头，哪怕只是一瞬间。

Take a deep breath and as you release it, try to let go of that hopeless thought, even just for a moment.

吸气时，吸入最好的情况可能发生的那种可能性。

As you breathe back in, breathe in the possibility of the best case scenario happening.

现在我想

Now I want

继续下一个咒语，我觉得这个可能是我们很多人最需要的。

to move on to the next mantra, and this is one that I think many of us might need the most.

在深入之前，我想分享一个生物学上的故事，我一直觉得它特别迷人。

Before we dive in, I want to share a story from biology that I've always found fascinating.

当蝴蝶准备破茧而出时，这个过程看起来几乎有些残忍。

When a butterfly is ready to emerge from its cocoon, the process looks almost cruel.

它并不是简单地展开翅膀，飞向天空。

It doesn't simply unfold its wings and float into the sky.

它会挣扎好几个小时。

It struggles for hours.

它拼命地顶开一个看起来小得不可思议的口子。

It pushes against an opening that seems impossibly small.

看着它，你的本能几乎总是一样的：想帮它一把。

Watching it, your instinct is almost always the same: to help it.

事实上，确实有人试过。

In fact, people have tried.

他们小心翼翼地剪开茧，以为这样能让蝴蝶更容易破茧而出。

They've carefully cut open the cocoon, thinking they're giving the butterfly an easier beginning.

但科学家们的发现却出人意料。

But what scientists discovered is surprising.

那些被帮助过的蝴蝶几乎都活不下来。

That assisted butterfly almost never survives.

因为去掉了挣扎的过程，也就去掉了让蝴蝶变强壮的过程。

By removing the struggle, they also remove the process that strengthens it.

它拼命挤过那个小开口，把体液推入翅膀，让翅膀展开，变得足够强壮，能够飞翔。

That effort of forcing its body through that tiny opening pushes fluid into its wings, allowing them to expand and become strong enough to fly.

没有这种阻力，它的翅膀就永远无法完全发育。

Without that resistance, its wings never fully develop.

蝴蝶不是在离开茧之前就长好翅膀的。

The butterfly doesn't develop the wings it needs before leaving the cocoon.

它是在离开茧的过程中长出翅膀的。

It develops them by leaving it.

也许我们和蝴蝶没什么两样。

Maybe we're not so different.

如果自信不是改变的前提呢？

What if confidence isn't the prerequisite for change?

如果你因为觉得自己不够自信而回避的那些经历，恰恰是能培养出你所等待的自信的经历呢？

What if the very experiences you're trying to avoid because you don't feel confident enough are the experiences that build the confidence you're waiting for?

每一次艰难的对话，都会让你更有能力去进行下一次。

Every difficult conversation strengthens your ability to have the next one.

每次你走进一个不认识任何人的房间，你就会变得不那么害怕陌生人。

Every time you walk into a room where you don't know anyone, you become someone who's a little less intimidated by strangers.

每一次你挺过的风险，都证明即使害怕，你也能站稳脚跟。

Every risk you survive becomes evidence that you'll find your footing, even when it's scary.

这才是持久的自信。

That's the kind of confidence that lasts.

不是那种相信世界会很简单的自信。

Not the confidence that comes from believing the world will be easy.

而是那种知道自己已经变得能够应对世界任何要求的自信。

The confidence that comes from knowing you've become someone who can meet whatever the world asks of you.

我们很多人都在等待茧为我们打开，然后才相信自己可以行动。

Many of us are waiting for the cocoon to open for us before we trust ourselves to take action.

我们想在申请工作之前就知道这份工作会让我们快乐。

We want to know a job will make us happy before we even apply.

我们想在允许自己坠入爱河之前，就证明这段关系能长久。

We want proof that a relationship will last before we allow ourselves to fall in love.

我们总想在分享想法之前，先确定它会成功。

We want to know our idea will succeed before we decide to share it.

但自信和确定不是一回事。

But confidence and certainty are not the same thing.

自信是说，无论发生什么，我都相信自己能应对。

Confidence says whatever happens, I trust myself to meet it.

确定则依赖于世界按我们预期的方式运转。

Certainty depends on the world behaving as we expect.

即使世界出乎意料，自信依然存在。

Confidence remains available even when the world surprises us.

想想你上次第一次做某件事的时候。

Think about the last time you did something for the first time.

也许你开始了一份新工作，搬到了陌生的地方，独自旅行，或者在艰难的对话中坦诚相待。

Perhaps you began a new job, moved somewhere unfamiliar, traveled alone or spoke honestly in a hard conversation.

在你做之前，你的大脑可能列出了一长串可能出错的事情。

Before you did it, your mind probably presented a long list of everything that could go wrong.

你的大脑无法向你展示的，是经历这一切之后你会成为的那个自己。

What your mind couldn't show you was the version of you who would exist on the other side of the experience.

那个版本的你知道一些你事先无法知道的事情。

That version of you knows something you could not know beforehand.

他们知道你会如何学习，如何调整，以及谁会在路上帮助你。

They know how you can learn, how you can adjust, and who might help you along the way.

你希望在开始之前就有证据，但证据只能通过开始来创造。

You wanted evidence before beginning, but the evidence could only be created by beginning.

自信很少意味着内心没有怀疑的声音。

Confidence is rarely the absence of a doubting inner voice.

更多时候，自信是决定不让怀疑的声音成为唯一的声音。

More often it is the decision that the voice of doubt will not be the only one speaking.

你拥有的证据比你意识到的要多。

You already have more evidence than you realize.

你曾经害怕的时刻，你都挺过来了。

You have survived moments you once dreaded having.

你在最初感到迷茫的地方，最终找到了自己的路。

You have found your way in places where you initially felt lost.

你犯过错，但之后依然继续生活。

You have made mistakes and continued living after them.

你经历过那些你永远不想重来的日子，而那些日子并没有击垮你。

You have experienced days you never want to repeat and those days did not destroy you.

也许有些时候，你崩溃过、求助过、改变过方向，或者承认自己不知道该怎么办。

There may have been times when you broke down, asked for help, changed direction, or admitted that you didn't know what to do.

那些时刻同样是你证据的一部分。

Those moments also belong in your evidence.

信任自己并不意味着

Self trust does

相信自己能完美且独立地应对每一个挑战。

not mean believing you will handle every challenge perfectly and independently.

有时候，信任自己甚至意味着，你知道在承受的重压之下，你会主动寻求支持，而不是被压垮。

Sometimes trusting yourself even means knowing you will reach for support before you disappear beneath the weight of what you're carrying.

现在想象你身处自己的茧中，害怕迈出你知道自己需要迈出的那一步。

Now picture yourself inside your cocoon, scared to take the step you know you need to take.

要知道，那是你内心渴望得到保证的那一部分。

Know it's the part of you that wants guarantees.

听听它在问些什么问题。

Hear the questions it is asking.

如果我失败了怎么办？

What if I fail?

如果这很难怎么办？

What if it's hard?

如果我还没准备好怎么办？

What if I'm not ready?

让这些问题存在，但不要回答它们。

Let those questions be present without answering them.

让它们随风飘散。

Let them drift by.

现在跟我重复：我不需要所有答案，因为我可以信任自己面对接下来的一切。

And now repeat after me: I do not need every answer because I can trust myself with what comes next.

再说一遍，我不需要所有答案，因为我可以信任自己面对接下来的一切。

Again, I do not need every answer because I can trust myself with what comes next.

最后一遍，就像你在直接对那个即将迈出第一步的自己说话一样。

One last time, say as though you are speaking directly the version of yourself starting to take the leap.

我不需要所有答案，因为我可以信任自己面对接下来的一切。

I do not need every answer because I can trust myself with what comes next.

当我们对自己信守小承诺时，信心就会增长。

Confidence grows when we keep small promises to ourselves.

如果你想

If you want

强化这个信念，就选择一个今天能完成的承诺。

to strengthen this mantra, choose one promise that can be completed today.

花十五分钟开始这个项目。

Spend fifteen minutes beginning the project.

回复那封你一直回避的邮件。

Answer the email you've been avoiding.

答应那些你一直推迟的计划。

Agree to the plans you've been pushing off.

计划可能会变，生活可能会变，但你的自信不必来自控制这些事情。

The plan may change, life may change, but your confidence does not have to come from controlling any of these things.

它来自记住你还有尚未用过的翅膀。

It comes from remembering that you have wings you haven't even used yet.

当我们感到更有希望、更自信时，我们开始觉得自己能够拥有丰盛。

When we find ourselves feeling more hopeful, more confident, we begin to feel that we are capable of abundance.

这就是我想

And that's what I want to

通过第三个咒语来探讨的。

go into with this third mantra.

让我们

Let

我再分享一个故事。

me share another story.

这是1968年的一个真实故事。

This is a true story from back in 1968.

一位名叫斯宾塞·西尔瓦的科学家在3M公司工作时，正在试验粘合剂，结果发现了一些不寻常的东西。

A scientist named Spencer Silva was experimenting with adhesives for his job at a company called three m when he discovered something unusual.

他发现他开发的微小粘合球可以让一个表面轻轻粘住另一个表面，但粘合力并不是特别强。

He found that the tiny adhesive spheres he developed could make one surface lightly stick to another, but the bond wasn't especially strong.

你可以贴上一张纸，撕下来不会造成损坏，还能重复使用。

You could attach a piece of paper, remove it without causing damage, and use it again.

西尔瓦知道自己创造出了与众不同的东西。

Silver knew he had created something different.

但他就是没法向别人解释这东西能用来干什么。

He just couldn't explain to anyone what it could be used for.

多年来，他把这种粘合剂分享给了3M的其他团队。

For years, he shared the adhesive with other teams at three m.

他做了演示，跟同事交流，想找个人能看出这东西有什么用。

He gave presentations, spoke to colleagues, and tried to find someone who could see a use for it.

大家都觉得这个发现挺有意思，但有意思不等于有用。

People found the discovery interesting, but interesting is not the same as useful.

这个胶水后来被西尔弗形容为“一个等着问题来配的解决方案”。

The adhesive remained what Silver would later describe as a solution waiting for a problem.

后来，3M 的另一个员工阿特·弗莱有一天遇到了一个很普通的烦恼。

Then another three m employee named Art Fry, one day encountered a very ordinary frustration.

弗莱在教堂唱诗班唱歌，用一些小纸片在赞美诗集里标记歌曲。

Fry sang in his church choir and used small pieces of paper to mark the songs in his hymnal.

每次他打开书，书签就会滑出来，或者跑到错误的页面上。

Every time he opened the book, the bookmark slipped out or moved to the wrong page.

他需要一种东西，既能固定住，又不会永久粘住或损坏书页。

He needed something that would remain in place without permanently sticking or damaging the pages.

然后他想起了西尔弗的胶水。

And then he remembered silver's adhesive.

弗莱把它涂在小纸片上，做成了可以贴上、取下、再重新定位的书签。

Fry applied it to small pieces of paper, creating bookmarks that could be attached, removed, and repositioned.

西尔弗多年来一直带着的这项发明，终于遇到了它能解决的问题。

The invention Silver had carried for years finally met the problem it was capable of solving.

即便如此，这个产品并没有立刻取得成功。

Even then, the product didn't become an immediate success.

经过多年的试验、内部推广、原型制作和不完美的市场测试，便利贴才成为如今世界各地办公桌上常见的小黄方块。

It took years of experimentation, internal advocacy, prototypes, and imperfect market tests before Post it Notes became the small yellow squares now found on desks around the world.

我喜欢这个故事，因为机会出现的那一刻，房间里并没有任何新东西。

I love this story because nothing new entered the room at the moment the opportunity appeared.

胶水早就存在了。

The adhesive already existed.

纸张也早就有了。

The paper already existed.

这个问题以前也发生过。

The problem had happened before.

机会出现，是因为有人注意到，这三件平常的东西，以前是分开理解的，其实应该放在一起。

The opportunity emerged when someone noticed the three ordinary things, previously understood separately, belong together.

机会常常就是这样进入我们生活的。

This is often how opportunity enters our lives.

它很少会以一个完整的计划出现，还清楚地标着它的重要性。

It rarely arrives as a complete plan with its importance clearly labeled.

它可能始于一项你还没找到用处的技能，一个在你需要建议之前就遇到的人，一个每隔几个月就回来的想法，或者一个你忽略的烦恼，而没有问它可能邀请你去创造什么。

It may begin as a skill you haven't found a use for, a person you met before you needed their advice, an idea that returns every few months, or a frustration you dismiss without asking what it might be inviting you to create.

我们常常以为，生活要改变，就必须有新的东西出现。

We often assume we need something new to appear before our life can change.

但有时候，真正的邀请是，用不同的眼光去看已经出现的东西。

But sometimes the real invitation is to look differently at what has already appeared.

那些看似无关的经历，感觉不完整的想法，或者没有结果的对话，可能只是在等待合适的问题、时机或联系，来揭示它们的目的。

The experience that seems unrelated, the idea that feels incomplete, or the conversation that led nowhere may just be waiting for the right problem, moment, or connection to reveal its purpose.

斯宾塞·西尔继续分享着这个没人知道怎么用的发明。

Spencer Silver continued sharing an invention nobody knew how to use.

阿特·弗莱关注了一个大多数人只会当作小麻烦的问题。

Art Fry paid attention to a problem most people would have accepted as a minor annoyance.

机会存在于坚持与识别之间。

The opportunity existed somewhere between persistence and recognition.

所以，我要分享的这句箴言并不是“我想要的一切都在向我走来”。

That is why the mantra I'm about to share is not everything I want is on its way to me.

你拥有的主动权远不止于此。

You have much more agency than that.

这句箴言是：“我准备好去留意那些正在寻找我的事物。”

The mantra is I am ready to notice what is trying to find me.

本期节目由AG1赞助播出。

This episode is brought to you by AG1.

想象一下，一个几乎不需要思考的晨间仪式，却能让你在一天开始之前，给自己一个选择的机会。

Think about a morning ritual that takes almost no thought but gives you a moment to choose yourself before the day starts choosing you.

这就是AG1的理念。

That's the idea behind AG1.

每天一勺，作为你日常健康习惯的简单基础。

One scoop once a day as a simple foundation for your daily health routine.

现在还有AG1 Pro，它包含与Nextgen相同的日常健康饮品基础，外加肌酸、CA HMB和锌肌肽。

And now there's AG1 Pro with the same daily health drink foundation as Nextgen plus creatine, CA HMB, and zinc carnosine.

如果你经常锻炼，或者想让早晨的例行程序更丰富一些，它可能非常适合你。

It could be a great fit if you train regularly or want a little more from your morning routine.

因为照顾自己不一定意味着要做更多。

Because taking care of yourself doesn't always have to mean doing more.

有时候，找到一个小小的、属于你自己的仪式，并坚持下去，就足够了。

Sometimes it's about finding one small ritual that's yours and sticking with it.

访问drinkag1.com/jshetty，首次订阅AG1 Next Gen或AG1 Pro，即可免费获得免疫支持套装，包括维生素D3加K2。

Go to drinkag1.com/jshetty and get a free immune support bundle, including vitamin d three plus k two with your first subscription of AG1 next gen or AG1 pro.

我准备好去留意那些正在寻找我的事物。

I am ready to notice what is trying to find me.

它提醒我们，机会不仅仅是我们去追逐的东西。

It reminds us that opportunity is not only something we chase.

有时候，那种丰盛已经在你身边，等着你去发现。

Sometimes that abundance is already around you, waiting to be recognized.

吸引机会并不意味着原地不动，等着生活来找你。

Attracting opportunity does not mean remaining still and expecting life to locate you.

而是意味着让自己对生活敞开。

It means becoming available to life.

敞开需要我们变得可见、好奇，并愿意参与。

Availability asks us to become visible, curious, and willing to participate.

这可能意味着告诉别人我们希望创造什么，而不是等他们来猜。

It may mean telling someone what we hope to create instead of waiting for them to guess.

也可能意味着在还没完全符合条件时就申请，在作品还没完美时就分享，或者在还不清楚结果时就接受邀请。

It may mean applying before we meet every qualification, sharing work before it feels perfect, or accepting an invitation before we know exactly what it could become.

想想你生活中有多少机会，开始时并没有明确说明它们是什么。

Consider how many opportunities in your life began without announcing what they were.

一次随意的介绍，可能就变成了一段深厚的友谊。

A casual introduction may have become a deep friendship.

一次令人失望的分手，可能为一段你以前觉得不可能的爱情腾出了空间。

A disappointing breakup may have made room for a love you hadn't previously thought possible.

一个爱好可能展现了一项天赋。

A hobby may have revealed a talent.

一场你差点回避的对话，可能改变了你对自己的理解。

A conversation you nearly avoided may have changed the way you understood yourself.

很少有哪个机会会举着牌子说：我即将改变你的人生。

Very few opportunities arrive holding a sign that says, I am about to change your life.

更多时候，它们是以一个要联系的人、一个要去的地方、一个反复出现的想法，或者一个你决定冒险一试的小机会的形式出现的。

More often they arrive as a person to call, a place to visit, an idea that keeps returning, or a small opening you decide to take a chance on.

机会也有一个部分是从我们内心开始的。

There's also a part of opportunity that begins inside us.

当我们觉得没有什么可得到时，我们的行为就会表现得好像没有什么可得到。

When we believe nothing is available, we behave as though nothing is available.

我们不再寻找、询问、分享、尝试，也不再介绍自己。

We stop looking, asking, sharing, experimenting, and introducing ourselves.

这种信念就像一层滤镜，最终这层滤镜会创造出它原本以为会看到的那个空荡荡的世界。

The belief becomes a filter, and the filter eventually creates the empty world it expected to find.

一句口头禅就能改变这层滤镜。

A mantra can change that filter.

它不能保证每扇门都会打开，但能帮助我们注意到那些被悲观情绪教我们忽略的门。

It cannot guarantee that every door will open, but it can help us notice doors that pessimism taught us to ignore.

它提醒我们，开放是一种主动的状态。

It reminds us that openness is an active state.

所以现在跟我一起念。

So now repeat after me.

我对那些我从未想过的道路保持开放。

I am open to paths I haven't considered.

我准备好去留意那些正在寻找我的东西。

I am ready to notice what is trying to find me.

再来一遍，我对那些我从未想过的道路保持开放。

Again, am open to paths I haven't considered.

我准备好去留意那些正在寻找我的事物。

I am ready to notice what is trying to find me.

如果这是你的咒语，这周每天创造一个机会。

If this is your mantra, create one opening every day this week.

给你感兴趣的工作的人发条消息。

Send a message to someone whose work interests you.

告诉你信任的朋友你希望找到什么。

Tell a trusted friend what you're hoping to find.

申请一件让你兴奋的事情。

Apply for something that excites you.

去一个你平时不会去的地方。

Visit somewhere outside your routine.

接受一个你通常会拒绝的邀请。

Accept one invitation you would normally decline.

每天结束时，问问自己：今天我注意到了什么平时可能会错过的东西？

At the end of each day, ask yourself, what did I notice today that I might ordinarily have missed?

也许那是一个机会，但也可能是一条信息。

Perhaps it was an opportunity, but perhaps it was information.

也许你注意到某个环境让你充满活力，某次谈话反复回到同一个话题，或者你对某件从未想过要做的事产生了好奇。

Maybe you noticed that a certain environment energized you, that a conversation kept returning to the same subject, or that you felt curious about something you'd never considered doing.

也许你需要做的，就是更开放地面对身边的人。

And perhaps the place you need to start is just to be more open to the people around you.

这就引出了我想和你分享的第四个咒语。

Which takes me to the fourth mantra I want to share with you.

今天我还想和你分享最后一个故事。

There's one final story I want to share with you today.

这是一个老故事，是一位导师曾经讲给我听的，从那以后我一直记在心里。

It's an old story a mentor once shared with me that has stayed with me ever since.

他告诉我，有个学生穿越一片广阔的沙漠，去跟随一位以非凡的平静著称的老师学习。

He told me, a student traveled across a wide desert to study with a teacher known for his extraordinary sense of calm.

那位老师住在河边，学生本以为会看到他在完全的静默中冥想。

The teacher lived beside a river, and the student expected to find him meditating in complete silence.

结果他发现孩子们在他家外面玩耍，商贩们隔着马路互相喊话，动物在院子里走动，附近的厨房里传来锅碗瓢盆的叮当声。

Instead, he found children playing outside his home, merchants calling to one another across the road, animals moving through the yard, and pots clattering in a nearby kitchen.

学生问：周围这么多事情发生，你怎么还能保持平静呢？

The student asked, how can you remain peaceful with so much happening around you?

老师往杯子里倒水，一直倒到杯沿。

The teacher filled a cup with water until it reached the very edge.

他把杯子递给学生，让他端着穿过拥挤的市场，一滴都不能洒。

He handed it to the student and asked him to carry it through the crowded marketplace without spilling a drop.

学生走进了市场。

The students stepped into the market.

人们从四面八方朝他涌来。

People moved around him from every direction.

乐手在演奏，商贩在吆喝价格，孩子们在摊位间跑来跑去。

Musicians played, sellers called out their prices, and children ran between the stalls.

他慢慢走着，注意力全放在杯子上。

He walked slowly, keeping his attention on the cup.

他回来的时候，水还是满到杯口的。

When he returned, the water was still level with the rim.

老师问他，你听到乐师们演奏了吗？

The teacher asked, did you hear the musicians?

学生说没有。

The student said no.

你听到商贩们在卖什么了吗？

Did you hear what the merchants were selling?

学生说没有。

The student said no.

市场变得安静了吗？

Did the marketplace become silent?

学生又说没有。

The student again said no.

老师接着告诉他，世界并没有静止下来。

The teacher then told him, the world did not become still.

但你发现，你的注意力可以做到。

But you discovered that your attention could.

我们很多人都在等待生活变得安静，才允许自己感到平静。

Many of us are waiting for life to become quiet before we allow ourselves to feel peaceful.

我们告诉自己，等工作完成了就休息，等决定做好了就放松，等不确定的阶段过去了再喘口气。

We tell ourselves we'll rest when work is complete, relax when decisions have been made, or breathe when an uncertain phase passes.

但生活很少会停止制造噪音。

But life rarely finishes making noise.

总有另一条消息、一段记忆、一项责任或一个问题，想要挤进你的脑海。

There's always another message, memory, responsibility, or problem asking to enter the mind.

扎根并不是要你清除生活中的所有要求。

Grounding is not the ability to remove every demand from your life.

而是能够把思绪带回到你生活真正发生的地方。

It is the ability to return your mind to the place where your life is actually happening.

焦虑的思绪总是在不停地游走。

An anxious mind travels constantly.