下班后总是“累到不行”？5 个转变优化你的 5–9 时段，最终打造你想要的生活

这便是残酷的真相。

This is the harsh truth.

你朝九晚五的工作，并不是你感觉人生落后的真正原因。

Your nine to five is not the reason you're feeling behind in life.

真正拖住你的，是下班之后你都在做些什么。

It's what you're doing after your nine to five that's keeping you stuck.

虽然你的正职能养活你，但下班后的时间才决定你会成为什么样的人。

Because while your day job may pay your bills, your five to nine determines who you become.

那些下班后的几小时，正是书写书籍、创办事业、塑造健康体魄、深化关系、改变人生的关键时刻。

Those few hours after work are where books get written, businesses get built, bodies get healthier, relationships deepen, and lives begin to change.

但对我们大多数人来说，这些时间还没来得及好好利用，就耗在了疲惫、刷手机、做家务和各种分心事里。

But for most of us, those hours disappear into exhaustion, scrolling, chores, and distractions before we even realize it.

现实是，大多数人把精力都花在维持现状，而不是朝着真正想要的未来努力。

The reality is most people spend their energy maintaining their current life rather than working toward the future they really want.

你心里有梦想，但你每天的生活节奏，根本配不上实现它们所需要的努力。

You have dreams that you want for yourself, but your daily routine doesn't align with what it would take to accomplish them.

问问你自己。

Ask yourself this.

想象一下，一年后的你想成为什么样的人。

Picture the version of yourself that you want to be in one year.

你现在的生活方式，和那个人的生活匹配吗？

Does your current lifestyle look like the one that person has?

说实话，你不是懒，而是陷入了决策疲劳、信息过载，神经系统也过度紧张。

The truth is you're not lazy, but you're probably stuck in decision fatigue, cognitive overload, and with a nervous system that's overstimulated.

我想，这正是我们很多人对自己感到沮丧的原因。

And I think that's why so many of us can feel frustrated with ourselves.

你真心想改变生活，可每晚还是不由自主地重复同样的模式。

You genuinely want to change your life, but keep falling into the same patterns every night.

有多少人曾经告诉自己，下班后一定要去锻炼、做热爱的项目、做顿健康饭菜、联系亲人、读本书，或者试试新爱好？

How many of you tell yourself that after work, you're finally going to exercise, work on your passion project, cook a healthy meal, reconnect with a loved one, read a book, or try a new hobby?

结果呢？一屁股坐在沙发上，连着刷完四集剧，才惊觉一整晚就这么没了。

And instead, you end up on the couch, four episodes deep into a TV show wondering where the entire night went.

你总跟自己说，明天一定会不一样。

You promise yourself tomorrow will be different.

明天你会更有自制力。

Tomorrow, you'll have more discipline.

明天你终于会去做那件早就答应过自己的事。

Tomorrow, you will finally just do the task you said you were going to do.

但大多数人对工作日的安排，完全搞反了。

But that's where most people are approaching their five to nine completely wrong.

他们依赖一时的干劲，而不是建立稳定的系统；被疲惫牵着走，却不解决根本问题；不知不觉养成了消耗能量的习惯，而不是恢复能量。

They're relying on motivation instead of systems, reacting to their exhaustion instead of fixing it, and unknowingly building routines that drain even more energy from them instead of giving that energy back.

研究决策疲劳的学者发现，随着一天中精神能量的消耗，我们的决策质量会逐渐下降。

Researchers studying decision fatigue found that the quality of our decisions tends to decline throughout the day as our mental energy gets depleted.

到了晚上，大多数人的认知资源比早上已经少了很多。

By the evening, most people are operating with significantly less cognitive bandwidth than they had earlier in the morning.

这就是为什么，即使你早上充满干劲、计划好要高效一整天，到了晚上还是很难抵抗那些被动的习惯。

That's part of why passive habits become so much harder to resist at night even when you wake up motivated and ready for a productive day.

不幸的是，我们周围大多数系统都设计得让被动行为变得极其容易。

And unfortunately, most of the systems surrounding us are designed to make passive behavior incredibly easy.

流媒体平台会自动播放下一集。

Streaming platforms autoplay the next episode.

你的Instagram信息流永无止境，而那张舒服的沙发，总比穿上运动鞋感觉更诱人。

Your Instagram feed never ends, and the cozy, comfy couch is always going to feel better in the moment than lacing up your sneakers.

当然，休息很重要。

Now, obviously, rest matters.

我觉得自我提升文化最大的误区之一，就是把每一刻休息都当成失败。

I think one of the biggest mistakes self improvement culture makes is treating every moment of rest like failure.

休息和恢复非常重要，但有意识地放松来恢复精力，和平时晚上麻木地消磨时间、事后又对自己感到沮丧，完全是两回事。

Rest and recovery are extremely important, but there's a very big difference between intentional rest that restores your energy versus the numbing out and feeling frustrated with ourselves that we tend to do on weeknights.

如果你每晚只是不断休息，只为第二天上班做准备，你会突然发现，一个月过去了，你连一个曾经特别想做的项目都没开始。

If you're just constantly resting each night to reset for the next workday, you'll realize a month went by where you didn't even start a project you were excited about.

你的目标渐渐变得像是属于某个未来的自己——那个未来会有更多时间、更多精力、更清晰的头脑、更强动力的自己。

Your goals start feeling like they belong to some future version of yourself who will eventually have more time, more energy, more clarity, more motivation.

但你的晚上，就现在，以你当下的生活状态来看，非常重要。

But your evenings, right now, as your life looks today, matter.

我会帮你好好利用这些时间，让你更高效、更有活力，也更充实。

And I'm going to help you utilize them so you can be productive, energized, and more fulfilled.

这不是关于在一天里挤出更多时间。

It's not about finding more hours in the day.

而是要重新调整你如何使用那些关键的时光。

It's about resetting the way you use the crucial time you do have.

你有自己的目标。

You have goals.

你希望提高效率。

You wanna be productive.

你希望过得快乐、充实，有见识。

You wanna feel happy and well rounded, well read.

你希望多陪陪那些你爱的、也爱你的人。

You wanna spend time with the people you love and who love you.

只要你把下班后那五到九个小时用对了，这些目标你都能实现。

All of these things are accessible to you if you do the five to nine right.

今天，我想带你们了解五个关键转变，它们能彻底改变你的晚间时光，最终改变你的人生。

So today, I wanna take us through the five shifts that can completely change your evenings and ultimately your life.

第一个转变，是改变你下班后的第一件事。

The first shift is changing your first move after work.

研究习惯与自动行为的行为科学家温迪·伍德发现，人类的很多行为并不是靠清醒决策，而是由环境线索和重复模式驱动的。

Behavioral scientist Wendy Wood, who studies habits and automatic behavior, has found that much of human behavior is driven less by conscious decision making and more by environmental cues and repeated patterns.

所以很多人下班后一坐下来，说只看五分钟，结果不知不觉就刷了三个小时的抖音。

That's why so many people sit down for five minutes after work and somehow lose three hours to TikTok.

你的大脑还没等你反应过来，就已经自动启动了那个模式。

The brain recognizes the pattern before your conscious mind fully catches up.

很多人犯的最大错误，就是打错了仗。

One of the biggest mistakes people make is trying to fight the wrong battle.

如果你知道一回到家就彻底失去状态，那就别指望到家后再靠意志力硬撑。

If you know that going straight home from the office destroys your momentum, stop trying to rely on discipline once you're already in your home.

不如改掉第一个动作。

Change the first move instead.

下班后直接去健身房。

Go directly to the gym after work.

回家前先去咖啡馆，花一个小时做你的副业。

Stop at a cafe before heading home and spend an hour working on your side hustle.

停车后、进门之前，先散个步。

Go for a walk after you park your car before you head in the front door.

下班后直接约朋友吃饭。

Meet a friend for dinner straight from the office.

在意志力被耗尽之前，打断自动模式。

Interrupt the autopilot loop before the decision fatigue fully takes over.

心理学家称之为‘实施意图理论’，就是提前制定具体的‘如果……就……’计划。

Psychologists call this implementation intention theory, creating specific if then plans ahead of time.

别只模糊地说‘我该多锻炼’，而是明确决定：‘如果六点下班，我就六点十五到健身房。’

Instead of vaguely saying, I should work out more, you decide if work ends at six, then I get to the gym at 06:15.

研究一再表明，人们如果提前制定了具体的情境计划，就更有可能坚持执行这些行为。

Research consistently shows that people are far more likely to follow through on behaviors when they've created a specific situational plan ahead of time.

大多数人的生活，与其说是被重大的决定塑造的，不如说是被一次次微小的选择慢慢累积而成的。

Most lives are shaped less by huge dramatic choices and more by repeated small decisions that slowly become your identity.

我下班后的第一件事，就是拿起一本书读起来。

My first move after a workday is to dive into a book.

我在家里的不同地方都放着打开的书。

I keep books open in different places in my home.

床头有一本，客厅有一本，办公室里也有一本。

There's one by my bedside, one in my living room, one in my office.

我尽量一有空就立刻翻开书读起来。

And what I try and do is just dive into a book immediately.

我知道，如果我等着放松下来、静下心来，很可能就失去动力了。

I know that if I wait to settle down, if I wait to simmer down, I'll probably lose the motivation.

但只要我拿起那本已经摊开的书，直接回到上次读到的地方，就马上又能进入状态了。

But if I pick up a book that's already open and go back to where I was when I finished off, then already I'm reconnected.

我每天晚上都会优先做的一件事，就是和我爱的人一起吃饭，手机放一边。

Something I prioritize doing every single night is having a meal with someone I love without my phone.

我觉得能感受到连接真的特别重要。

I think it's so important to feel a sense of connection.

第二件事是把琐事集中处理，别让它们占满你一整周的时间。

The second shift is batching small tasks so they don't consume your entire week.

我觉得很多人下班后觉得没时间，是因为每天晚上都在重复做那些基本的生活琐事。

I think one of the biggest reasons people feel like they don't have time after work is because they're redoing the same basic life maintenance tasks every single night.

洗衣服、买菜、回邮件、接送孩子、跑各种预约。

Laundry, grocery shopping, answering emails, handling carpool, running to appointments.

这些事单独看都不算啥，但加在一起，还没开始做真正想做的事，晚上就没了。

None of these things feel overwhelming individually, but together, they eat hours of your evenings before you ever get to the thing you actually care about.

所以把生活事务集中处理，对 reclaim 时间特别关键。

This is why batching your life admin is so important to getting your time back.

周日花两小时备好一周的饭菜，别每天晚上都从头开始做饭。

Meal prep for two hours on Sunday instead of spending hours cooking from scratch every single night.

把家务集中在一个时间段做完，别分散到一整周。

Do all your house cleaning in one block instead of scattering it throughout the week.

每周选一个晚上专门洗衣服，坚持下来。

Pick one evening a week for laundry and stick to it.

周日花半小时规划好接下来几个晚上的安排，别总在纠结下一步该做什么上浪费精力。

Spend thirty minutes on a Sunday planning your weeknights ahead so you stop wasting energy constantly deciding what to do next.

目标是重新安排你每周已有的空闲时间，腾出空间来做真正想做的事。

The goal is to reconfigure the free hours you already have in a week to make room for the things you actually want to spend time doing.

把日常生活中的琐事阻力越减越少，你就有越多精力留给健康、关系、创意和未来。

The more friction you remove from basic life maintenance, the more energy you have left for your health, relationships, creativity, and future.

第三步是别再等自己有感觉或有动力了才开始行动。

The third shift is to stop waiting to feel good or motivated before taking action.

我真的觉得，这是人们对自己最有害的一种想法。

I genuinely think this is one of the most damaging beliefs people tell themselves.

他们总觉得，创作前得有灵感，运动前得有干劲，冥想前得心静，做新事前得有自信。

They think they should feel inspired before creating, energized before exercising, calm before meditating, confident before starting a new task.

但在我们忙碌日常的混乱中，这并不总是现实的。

But that's not always realistic in the chaos of our busy daily lives.

事实上，通常是你先坚持做下去，然后才会产生动力，而不是反过来。

In fact, consistency usually comes before motivation, not after it.

这并不意味着忽视身体或逼自己到精疲力尽，但确实意味着，有时候你想要完成的事，就得在疲惫的时候照样去做。

That doesn't mean ignoring your body or forcing yourself into burnout, but it does mean occasionally whatever it is you want to accomplish in your life, you just have to do it tired.

就算心情不好，也去和朋友吃晚饭。

Go to dinner with friends even if you're in a bad mood.

就算打哈欠，也去上一节健身课。

Go to a workout class even if you're yawning.

哪怕灵感枯竭，也打开那个你打算写书的文档。

Open that Word document of the book you want to write even if you're creatively slumped.

让你自己明白，即使状态不好，你依然可以信守承诺，把该做的事做完。

Prove to yourself that you can rely on yourself to do the things you say you're going to do even if you're not in the perfect mood to do them.

因为现实是，经历了一天辛苦的朝九晚五后，你大概只想瘫在沙发上刷手机，根本不想干别的。

Because the reality is after a tough day at your nine to five, it's likely you're not going to be in the mood to do anything but lay on the couch and start scrolling.

所以，你得学会不管怎样都先做起来。

So at some point, you need to be okay with just doing it anyway.

当我下班后提不起劲，但又想写书或者做点平时没时间搞的创意事时，我就想想，如果这一周什么都不做，下周会是什么感觉。

You know, when I'm struggling for motivation after work, but I wanna work on my book or work on a creative thing that I haven't had time for in my day, I just think about what it will feel like in a week to not do it.

我知道，如果一整周都不碰那些我想做的创意事，我会觉得心里空落落的。

I know if I don't do that thing that I creatively wanna do for a week, I'm gonna feel emptier.

会觉得身上压着东西，特别沉重。

I'm gonna feel heavier.

会觉得我辜负了自己该做的事。

I'm gonna feel like I'm not doing what I was meant to do.

所以，想到未来会有的那种感受，我就有动力现在就行动。

And so future facing the emotion that I'll experience impacts me to make a difference now.

我还想聊另一件事，就是去健身房——以前我根本不想去，现在也谈不上多期待。

Another thing I wanna talk about is an activity that I don't look forward to or didn't used to at least was going to the gym.

我总觉得自己没力气去健身房。

I always used to feel I don't have enough energy for the gym.

我还真没准备好去健身房。

I'm not ready for the gym.

可每次练完出来，我都觉得特别棒，真庆幸自己去了。

Only to realize that every time I leave the gym, feel amazing and I feel so happy that I went.

我希望你能明白这一点。

And I want you to realize that.

对你有益的事，刚开始可能不舒服，但做完之后会特别爽。

The things that are good for you feel bad at the beginning and amazing afterwards.

而对你有害的事，刚开始挺舒服，过后却让人后悔。

And the things that are bad for you, they feel great in the beginning and not so great afterwards.

人的大脑天生倾向于追求即时的放松，而不是坚持向前。

The brain naturally gravitates toward immediate relief instead of pushing forward.

但久而久之，这会带来更大的问题。

But over time, this creates a deeper issue.

你会渐渐不再相信自己。

You stop trusting yourself.

每个夜晚都在证明，你已经习惯了放弃那些曾经说好很重要的人和事。

Every night becomes further proof that you're okay with abandoning the things you said mattered to you.

久而久之，你会开始相信，自己根本不可能完成这些事。

Eventually, you come to believe that you're incapable of even accomplishing them at all.

所以，哪怕是最小的行动，也格外重要。

That's why even the smallest actions matter so much.

读十页书，散个步，花三十分钟研究一个项目，给亲人打个电话问问近况。

Reading 10 pages, going for a walk, spending thirty minutes researching for a project, calling your loved one to check-in.

这些事单独看好像无足轻重，但日积月累，它们会慢慢告诉你，你究竟是怎样的人。

These actions seem insignificant in isolation, but over time, they become evidence about who you are.

我们很容易盯着远方，为结果、金钱、成功、蜕变而兴奋，但通往目标的真正旅程，靠的只是重复。

It's easy to look ahead and get excited by outcomes, money, success, transformation, but the real journey to your goals is just based on repetition.

你的未来，真正由那些没人看见的普通周二晚上，你反复做的事决定。

Your future is truly shaped by what you repeatedly do on ordinary Tuesday nights when nobody's watching.

第四步是，每晚只给自己设定一个有意义的小目标，而不是指望一夜之间彻底改变人生。

The fourth shift is giving yourself one meaningful goal each evening instead of trying to reinvent your entire life overnight.

我觉得有野心的人常常在这一点上无意识地拖了自己的后腿。

I think ambitious people unintentionally sabotage themselves in this area constantly.

他们下班回家，却指望自己能去健身、做饭、打扫房间、回邮件、见朋友、冥想、读书、写日记、给家人打电话、忙自己的事业，最后还能睡足八个小时。

They get home from work, and they expect they'll be able to work out, cook dinner, clean the apartment, answer emails, see friends, meditate, read, journal, call family, work on their businesses, and still get eight hours of sleep at the end of the night.

想把所有事情一股脑儿做完，根本不可能。

It's impossible to do everything all at once.

如果你在工作日给自己定太多目标，最后没完成时，只会感到内疚和空虚。

When you overset your goals for one weeknight, you're going to end up feeling guilty and unproductive when you inevitably don't get it all done.

这会形成一个恶性循环，让夜晚变得和挫败感绑在一起，而不是成就感。

This creates a terrible psychological loop where your evenings start feeling associated with inadequacy instead of fulfillment.

你真正该做的，是争取赢下这一周，而不是非得每天都要赢。

What you really need to be doing is trying to win the week, not trying to win every single day.

我这辈子好几次快撑不住了，就是因为总想同时把所有事都做完。

There's been lots of times in my life where I've been close to burning out because I've been trying to do everything all at the same time.

想想天气吧。

Think about the weather.

四季。

Seasons.

之所以有四季，是因为大自然在不同时期也会有不同的表现。

Seasons exist because even the environment does different things in different phases at different times.

把你的人生看作是四季，而不是全年都只有一种状态。

Think about your life as seasons, not as one season for the whole year.

正是这一点，让我真正明白了优先级的重要性。

That's what really helped me understand the importance of priorities.

有些季节就像春天。

Some seasons are like spring.

它们关乎新想法和蓬勃的生长。

They're about new ideas, fresh growth.

有些季节则像夏天，充满喜悦与体验，深入沉浸其中。

Some seasons are about summer, joy, experience, going deep into immersive feelings.

有些季节则像秋天。

Some seasons are like autumn.

它们关乎放下和告别。

They're like about shedding.

还有一些时节像冬天，适合休养和自我保护。

And some seasons are like winter about hibernating and just protecting yourself.

不是每个目标都需要每天晚上都去推进。

Not every goal needs to be worked toward every evening.

也许几个工作日晚上可以用来关注健康和锻炼。

Maybe a couple of weeknights are for wellness and exercise.

也许有一个晚上留给朋友聚会。

Maybe one is for friendships.

一个晚上用于创意，另一个晚上用于处理生活琐事，你现在是在做时间归类。

One is for creativity, and one is for the practical life maintenance, you're now batching.

持续保持平衡的生活节奏，才是真正进步的关键。

A balanced life repeated consistently is where real progress is made.

最后，第五个转变是打造那些真正能为你补充能量的夜晚。

And finally, the fifth shift is building evenings that actually give you energy back.

听好了。

Listen.

我明白，朝九晚五的工作很累人，你本能地想把所有生活都用来维持精力，好撑过上班的日子。

I understand that having a nine to five is taxing and exhausting, and your natural instinct is to structure your entire life around maintaining energy just to survive at work.

但长远来看，当我们投入那些真正让我们感到充实的活动时，人真的能重新获得能量吗？

But do we as humans actually gain energy back in the long run when we're pouring into ourselves and into the activities that truly fulfill us.

为什么人们做完运动、进行一场走心的对话、散步，或者专注工作一小时后，反而比刷三小时手机更觉得有精神？

There's a reason people often feel more energized after a workout, a meaningful conversation, a walk outside, or after a productive hour of work rather than three hours straight of scrolling.

你的能量更像是个发电机，而不是电池。

Your energy is like a generator, not a battery.

它不会一直耗尽，直到归零。

It's not constantly draining until you hit zero.

相反，你选择把时间和注意力放在什么上，就能重新激活、调整，把能量提上来。

Rather, you're able to revive, reset, and pull your energy levels back up depending on what you choose to pour your time and attention into.

晚上的目标不该只是勉强恢复体力，好撑过明天的朝九晚五。

The goal of your evening should not just be recovering enough to survive tomorrow, to make the most of our five to nines.

我们需要有意识地投入到那些能让我们走向更好未来的事情中。

We need to connect intentionally to something that is building us towards a better future.

我特别喜欢下班后去徒步。

I love going on a hike after work.

置身大自然、待在户外、让思绪舒展，真的让我感觉充满活力。

I think being in nature, being outdoors, expanding the mind makes me feel so, so energized.

虽然我不是每次都想出门，但我开始记录并写下徒步后的感受。

Now I don't always want to go, but I've started to write down and journal about the feeling after I hike.

每当我强迫自己去徒步后，我都会写下来，这样第二天不想去、觉得累的时候，我就能读给自己听，或者听录音，提醒自己别放弃。

So after I do force myself to go on a hike, I'll write about it so that the next day when I don't wanna go, when I'm tired, I read it to myself or I listen back to an audio journal, which is saying to me, don't give up.

去徒步吧。

Go on that hike.

走出去。

Get out there.

对我来说，一个理想的平日晚上，就是按时上床睡觉。

For me, an ideal successful weeknight is getting to bed on time.

我真心觉得，如果我们每晚都能睡七到九个小时，能解决掉大约一半的问题，因为这样我们才有能力控制食欲、坚持锻炼、白天更有精力、感觉更好，也不那么容易烦躁或对周围的事反应过度。

I really believe that if we were all sleeping seven to nine hours a night, it would take away around 50% of our problems because it would give us the ability to curb our cravings, to work out, to have more energy in the day, to feel better, to not be as irritable or as reactive to things around us.

所以对我来说，一个成功的工作日晚上，就是别在手机上耗太久，能真正放松下来再睡觉。

So for me, a successful weeknight is making sure that I don't, you know, spend loads of time on my phones that I can actually relax before bed.

我会给自己安排一个放松的睡前流程，最晚十点前一定上床睡觉。

I allow myself to have a wind down routine and that I fall asleep by 10PM latest.

当然，我并不是每次都做得完美。

Now I'm not perfect.

我也会犯错。

I make mistakes.

有时候睡得比这晚。

I sleep later than that.

这周我还有其他安排。

I have events during the week as well.

这根本不是追求完美。

This is not about perfection.

关键是坚持和进步。

It's about practice and progress.

归根结底，这其实关乎重新掌握自己生活的主动权。

At the end of the day, this is really about reclaiming autonomy and authorship over your own life.

你不需要做出什么惊天动地的改变，就能感觉更有干劲。

You don't need to make any huge dramatic changes to feel more productive.

相反，每天坚持一些小而可重复的选择，慢慢改变你生活的方向。

Instead, focus on small, repeatable choices every day that slowly shift the direction of your life.

大多数人完全低估了一年里有意识地过好每个晚上能带来的变化。

Most people massively underestimate what can happen in a year of intentional evenings.

没错。

Sure.

一次锻炼不可能明天就让你脱胎换骨。

One workout will not transform your life tomorrow.

今晚读十页书，也不会立刻让你变得睿智。

Reading 10 pages tonight won't instantly make you wise.

晚饭后花一小时做你热爱的事，不会立刻改变你的职业轨迹。

Spending an hour on your dream after dinner won't immediately change your career.

但这些行动，日复一日、年复一年地坚持下去，才是真正塑造你人生意义的地方。

But these actions repeated consistently over months and even years, that's where the true meaning of your life is built.

我记得以前在一家公司上班时，心里其实一直有个真正想做的事。

I remember when I was working at a corporate company and in my heart, I had a dream of what I really wanted to do.

我那所谓的朝九晚五，根本不是九点到五点，更像是九点到七点、八点。

And my nine to five wasn't really a nine to five, it was more like a nine to seven, nine to eight.

每天下班回来，我还要接着干。

And so I'd get back and then I'd work.

我记得那时候，每周五天，每天花四五个小时，就为了剪一个五分钟的视频。

I remember spending four to five hours a night, five days a week to edit one five minute video.

如果有人跟你说，剪一个视频要花二十个小时，那说明效率太低了。

Now, if anyone ever tells you it would take them twenty hours to edit a video, just know that is not a good amount of time.

这时间实在太长了。

That is way too long.

但我花那么久，是因为我得自己学剪辑。

But I spent that long because I had to teach myself how to edit.

所以我一直在自学剪辑。

So I was teaching myself how to edit.

我反复剪自己的视频。

I was editing my videos.

我把它上传到YouTube。

I was posting them onto YouTube.

我还在做封面图。

I was making thumbnails.

为了实现梦想，我做了所有这些事——不管会不会，都得硬着头皮上。

I was doing all of these things, skills that I had and didn't have in order to live my dream.

我一点都不后悔。

And I don't regret it at all.

对。

Yes.

我错过了好几个生日。

I missed birthdays.

对。

Yes.

我错过了不少活动。

I missed events.

对。

Yes.

我错过了好多聚会。

I missed hangouts.

那段时间，我错过了很多事，但我一点也不后悔，因为这些经历为我人生中最珍贵的礼物铺了路——做我热爱的事。

During that time, I missed so many different things, but I don't regret it because it set me up for the greatest gift in my life, which is doing what I love.

我记得十几岁的时候，读过大卫·贝克汉姆的自传，他说自己年轻时，朋友们每到周五晚上都出去玩，他却一个人在球场上。

I remember as a teenager, I read David Beckham's autobiography and he talked about how when he was a young man in his teens, all of his friends were out partying on a Friday night and he was at the park.

他把一个汽车轮胎挂在球门角落，一遍又一遍练任意球，直到能连续进很多个。

He'd hang a tire, a car tire in the corner of the goal and he'd practice free kicks until he could get loads in a row.

他也不后悔，因为这让他实现了自己的梦想。

And he doesn't regret it because it allowed him to live his dream.

你得做出选择，怎么安排晚上的时间，专注什么，优先什么，围绕什么去打造你的未来。

You are going to have to make choices about how you spend your evenings, what you focus on, what you prioritize, what you build around in order to build your future.

这不会容易。

It won't be easy.

这也不会舒服。

It won't be comfortable.

我记得那时候剪视频、发出去，朋友就说我：杰，配乐太差了。

I remember editing videos and putting them out and then my friends saying things like, Jay, the music editing is bad.

镜头切得太快了。

The clips are too fast.

你说得太快了。

You talk too fast.

随之而来的还有好多批评。

There was so much criticism that came with it as well.

显然，我并不完美。

Obviously, I wasn't perfect.

我当时全职上班，同时还在摸索着前进。

I was working a full time job and trying to figure it out.

我并不是每件事都做得很好，但我还是开始了，哪怕并不完美。

I wasn't great at everything I was doing, but I started even when it wasn't perfect.

今天我能坐在这里跟你们说话，不是因为我事事都做对了，不是因为我有完美的计划，也不是因为一切都执行得滴水不漏，而是因为我迈出了第一步。

And I stand before you today or I sit before you today because I was able to follow through on it, not because I got everything right, not because I had a perfect plan, not because everything was perfectly executed, but because I started.

我想让你想想，如果一年后你醒来，生活还和现在一模一样——因为每天下班后你只是不停地刷手机、浪费时间，连休息和恢复都没做到，那你的生活会是什么样子？

I want you to think about what your life would look like if you woke up a year from now and you're in exactly the same place because all you did after your nine to five was doomscroll, was waste time, and not even rest and restore.

我觉得这是最耐人寻味的一点。

I think that's one of the most fascinating things.

我们通常会找点别的事来逃避现实。

We usually turn to something to help us escape.

我们甚至以为，幸福就是一种解脱，对吧？

We actually think happiness is relief, right?

我们总把摆脱痛苦和压力当成幸福，但其实那只是暂时的放松而已。

We think of relief from pain and stress as happiness, but it's not, it's just relief.

我发现很多人以为通宵刷手机就能减压、能好好休息，但事实并非如此。

And I find that so many of us think that just doom scrolling all night will actually help us decompress, will actually help us rest, but it doesn't do that.

它并不会让你感觉更平静。

It doesn't make you feel calmer.

几个月前我和一个朋友在一起，没刷手机也没瞎浪费时间，而是安静地坐了一个小时，让身心真正放松下来。

I was with a friend a couple of months ago and instead of doom scrolling or instead of just wasting time, we decided to spend an hour in silence together just to help our mind and bodies really decompress.

这就像是给手机充电一样。

It's almost like putting your phone on charge.

你得先把手机放下，它才能充上电，才能恢复能量。

You have to get off of it to let it charge, to let it refuel.

想想你的身体和大脑。

Think about your body and mind.

我们每天都被刺激得太过头了。

We're so overstimulated.

我们一整天都忙得喘不过气。

We're so overwhelmed throughout the day.

我们很少给身心一个真正放松的机会。

We rarely give our body and mind an opportunity to just reset.

对我而言，经常问自己‘我什么时候真的感觉休息好了’，这个习惯特别有帮助。

For me, it's been such a powerful practice to ask myself when do I actually feel rested?

我到底需要做些什么，才能真正让自己恢复活力？

What do I need to actually do to make myself feel rejuvenated?

不是该做什么来分散注意力。

Not what do I need to do to distract myself?

也不是该做什么来麻痹自己或逃避现实。

Not what do I need to do to numb myself or escape?

而是该做什么，才能真正让我感到放松？

But what can I do that really truly makes me feel rested?

我也想请你，试着问问自己这个问题。

And I would ask you and challenge you to ask yourself that.

你平时怎么做，才能早上醒来时不后悔？

What do you do so that when you wake up in the morning, you don't regret it?

有多少人晚上熬夜刷东西，第二天早上醒过来却想：早知道就早点睡了？

How many of you stay up all night watching something and then next morning you wake up and go, I wish I went to bed earlier.

对吧？

Right?

这根本不算休息。

That's not rest.

现实是这样的。

And here's the reality.

我知道我们都对这事心存愧疚和自责。

I know we all carry guilt and shame around this.

我也是。

I do too.

比如我刷手机刷太久，就会有点内疚。

Like, I doomscroll for too long, I'll feel a bit guilty.

如果我觉得晚上浪费了，就会有点内疚。

If I feel like I wasted an evening, I could feel guilty.

有意思的是这一点。

And here's the interesting thing.

内疚其实会阻碍成长。

Guilt can block growth.

对吧？

Right?

如果你强迫自己内疚，它可能会逼你改变，但同时也会阻碍成长，因为你反而会更觉得自己丢人。

If you force yourself into feeling guilty, it can force you to make a change, but it can also block growth because it makes you feel more shameful.

它会让你觉得自己不配再努力了。

It makes you feel like you're not worthy of working harder.

所以你要特别留心，选择那些真正能让你休息、恢复精力、重获能量的事，而不是单纯地逃避、麻痹自己，找点短暂的安慰。

So I want you to be really careful to choose things that really help you rest, that really help you refuel, that really help you restore, not just distract and numb and find relief.

我希望你能好好想想，对你来说，什么才是真正有效的恢复方式。

I want you to try and figure out what that is for you.

我想再谈另一件事。

I wanted to address something else.

我不是在鼓吹拼命工作文化。

I'm not encouraging hustle culture.

我不是让你把自己累垮。

I'm not encouraging you to burn yourself out.

我想让你明白，你的人生中会有一到两年的时间，可以全身心投入，这种投入会为你未来十年到二十年打下坚实基础。

What I'm encouraging you to do is to recognize that there will be a one to two year window in your life where you're able to lock in in this way, and it will positively impact the next ten to twenty years of your life.

我们追求的就是这个。

That's what we're after.

我们不是为了做而做。

We're not after just doing this for the sake of doing it.

也不是因为非做不可才去做。

We're not just after doing it because we have to do it.

但在你人生的某个阶段，花时间专注投入，未来几十年都会因此受益。

But there'll be a certain season and phase in your life where carving out this time will pay dividends for decades.

我希望你能发挥出全部潜力。

I want you to reach your potential.

我希望你能实现那些真正让你热血沸腾的目标。

I want you to achieve the things that you're really, really excited about.

我希望你能拥有这样的机会。

I want you to have an opportunity.

但我也想对你坦诚一点。

But I also wanna be real with you.

没有任何东西能替代每天五到九小时的专注投入。

There is no substitute for the five to nine.

没有任何东西能替代下班后的持续努力。

There is no substitute for the work after work.

没有任何东西能替代周末的埋头苦干。

There is no substitute to the working on weekends.

也没有任何东西能替代更好地规划和管理你的时间。

There's no substitute to planning and organizing your time better.

没有任何替代品。

There is no substitute.

我们总觉得是他们运气好。

We think someone got lucky.

只是刚好碰上了而已。

It just worked out for them.

他们确实特别幸运。

They got really fortunate.

我向你保证，你所钦佩的每一个人，每一个你仰望的人，都曾经历过一段全身心投入、专注执着的时期，就像你现在看到的他们那样。

I promise you that everyone you admire, everyone you look up to had a season of their life where they were dedicated, immersed, and devoted to what you see them doing now.

你猜怎么着？

And guess what?

当你在学习一项新技能，或者在锻炼一项能力时，你反而会更有动力。

When you're learning a new skill, when you're building a muscle, you actually feel more motivated.

你会变得格外兴奋。

You get way more excited.

你开始真正爱上这个过程。

You actually start to fall in love with the process.

如果你只盯着成功和胜利，反而会让自己泄气。

If you're just focused on the success and the win, you'll actually be demoralized.

但当你意识到自己在进步，正在积累势头时，整个人都会变得更有劲儿。

But when you start to think that you're making progress, you're actually gaining momentum, that starts to make you feel better about your whole life.

突然间，你去上班都充满干劲。

And all of a sudden, you're showing up to work with more energy.

去见朋友时也精神饱满，别人都会问：你最近怎么了？

You show up to your friends evening with more energy and everyone's like, what happened to you?

你这股劲儿是从哪儿来的？

Where did this come from?

我会说，因为我能看到自己在成长。

You're like, because I can see myself growing.

我能感觉到自己在一步步向前走。

I can see myself taking steps forward.

我能看见自己在行动。

I can see myself taking action.

自信就是从这儿来的。

That's where confidence comes from.

自信来自于你不断磨炼能力，证明自己真的在为自己付出。

Confidence comes from building competence and evidence that you show up for yourself.

当你提升技能、积累能力，一次次坚持为自己行动、积累实证，自信自然就来了。

When you build your skills and competence, and when you show up for yourself repeatedly and build evidence, that's where you get confidence from.

而这份自信，会照亮你生活的方方面面。

And confidence shines into every area of your life.

最后我想送你一句话。

Here's the last thing I want to leave you with.

只要你为在乎的事多努力一点，就永远不会后悔。

You will never regret working a little bit harder for something you care about.

我们已经为太多不那么在意的事拼尽全力了。

We already work so hard for things we don't care that much about.

我们有时候不得不做一些不得不做的事。

We may have to do a job that we have to do.

我们有时候也得出现在某些地方，因为别无选择。

We may have to show up in certain places because we have to.

你为很多并不喜欢、也不在乎的事情付出了很多努力。

There are so many things you work hard at that you don't love and don't care about.

想象一下，如果你能再多花点心思去在乎那些对你真正重要的事，生活会变成什么样。

Imagine what your life would look like if you worked a little bit harder to care about the things that are important to you.

想想你能达到什么样的高度。

Imagine what you could achieve.

想象一下可能实现的目标，然后去行动。

Imagine what's possible and then do the work.

迈出这一步。

Take that step.

付诸行动。

Take that action.

记住，我永远站在你这边。

Remember, I'm forever in your corner.

我始终支持你，真期待看到你在工作时间里创造出什么。

I'm always rooting for you and I can't wait to see what you build in your five to nine.

如果这期节目打动了你，那你一定会喜欢我和网球传奇诺瓦克·德约科维奇的对话。

If this episode resonate with you, you'll love my conversation with tennis legend, Novak Djokovic.

他分享了自律、自信和精神成长如何塑造了他的职业生涯。

He shares how discipline, self belief, and spiritual growth shaped his career.

不成功不是选择。

Not having success is not an option.

我必须成功。

Like, I have to succeed.

这关系到我的生存，关系到全家人的生计。

It's basically a matter of existence, a survival of my family.