Ask Jay：如何找到我的人生使命？

嘿，我是杰。

Hey, it's Jay.

我不知道你今天过得怎么样，但刚才我正好想到了你。

I don't know what your day's been like, but I was just thinking about you for a minute.

我希望你能对自己多一点耐心，因为你值得。

And I hope you're being a little patient with yourself because you deserve it.

是的，我很快会再跟你聊的。

And, yeah, I'll talk to you soon.

有些感受太大、太乱、太复杂，没法用文字表达。

Some feelings are too big, too messy, too complicated to fit in a text.

我知道你明白我在说什么。

I know you know what I'm talking about.

所以你不打字了，按下录音键，直接说出来。

So you stop typing, hit record, and just talk.

那就是你发给我的，我很感激。

That's what you sent me, and I'm grateful for it.

今天，我们来聊聊关于人生目标的话题。

Today, we're opening up a conversation about purpose.

我们常常把人生目标当成一条终点线。

We often treat purpose like a finish line.

我们觉得，只要达成了那个大目标，升了职，或者终于找到了那个让一切豁然开朗的东西，我们就会满足了。

We think if he just reached that big goal, get that promotion, or finally find that one thing that makes everything click, we'll be satisfied.

但人生目标不是你在比赛结束时拿到的奖杯。

But purpose is not a trophy you collect at the end of a race.

它是你在奔跑时用的燃料。

It is the fuel you use while you are running.

无论你是感到卡在中间，被自己的成功搞得精疲力尽，还是在寻找比一次成就更持久的意义，你都没有迷失。

Whether you're feeling stuck in the middle, burnt out by your own success, or searching for meaning that lasts longer than a single achievement, you are not lost.

你只是在学习如何建立一个比里程碑更有意义的使命。

You're just learning how to build a mission that matters more than a milestone.

你接下来要听到的，是这个社区里真实的人讲出的真实故事。

What you're about to hear are real stories from real people who are part of this community.

也许将来你也能成为他们中的一员。

Maybe you could be one of them in the future.

我已经迫不及待要开始了。

I can't wait to dive in.

我四十多岁，在很短的时间内，我经历了乳腺癌，同时我的长期婚姻也走到了尽头。

I'm in my mid forties and within a pretty short period of time, I've faced breast cancer at the end of a long marriage.

而且我还意识到，我辛辛苦苦建立起来的职业道路，已经不再适合我，也不再是我想要的了。

And also a realization that the career path that I worked so hard to build no longer suits me or feels like what I want.

在我一生的大部分时间里，我都是别人眼中可靠的人，无论是工作还是个人生活，即使我感到完全精疲力尽，我也表现得相当能干。

For most of my life, I've been the reliable one for everyone else with that work and personally and appeared pretty capable before me even when I was feeling completely depleted.

那些帮助我成功的特质，让我变得非常擅长满足期望，把所有事情都打理得井井有条。

Those traits that helped me succeed, I became really good at meeting expectations, keeping everything together.

但在这个过程中，我失去了与自己真正想要的东西的联系。

But in that process, I lost touch with what I really wanted for myself.

在身体和情感恢复的同时，我开始审视我的生活以及我想去的地方。

Kind of examine my life and where I wanna go while recovering physically and emotionally.

有时候我很难分辨，这种驱动力到底是真正的内心指引，还是又一次想证明自己。

Sometimes I struggle to know whether the pull is genuine inner guidance or if it's simply another attempt to prove myself.

所以我的问题是，你怎么区分真实的内心声音和那些多年来一直在引导你决策的生存模式？

So my question is, how do you tell the difference between your authentic inner voice and the survival patterns that you've been guiding your decisions for years?

好的，谢谢你的提问。

Well, thank you for that question.

我想先说的是，能问出这个问题本身就需要很大的勇气。

I wanna start by just acknowledging the courage it takes to even ask this question.

我发现很多人经历了你所经历的，但他们从不停下来问问自己，回到的生活是不是他们真正想要的。

I find many people survive what you've survived, but they never stop to ask whether the life they're returning to is actually the one they want.

这也很正常，因为有时候痛苦实在太沉重了，但你正在做一件非常难的事情。

And that's fine because sometimes the pain can be so overbearing, but you're doing something really hard.

你不仅在审视发生在你身上的事，也在审视你因此变成了什么样的人。

You're examining not just what happened to you, but who you've become because of it.

你刚才说的有句话让我印象特别深。

Now there was something you said that really stood out to me.

你说过，我称之为力量的东西其实只是适应。

You said what I called strength was actually adaptation.

这是一个非常深刻的反思。

And that's an incredibly profound reflection.

适应能让我们在艰难时期活下来，但帮助我们生存的策略并不总是能帮助我们真正活出自我，对吧？

Adaptation can keep us alive through difficult seasons, but the strategies that help us survive aren't always the ones that help us truly live, right?

你可以发展一个工具或习惯，因为它能帮你登上山顶。

You can develop a tool or a habit because it helps you get to the top of the mountain.

但这并不意味着同样的工具或习惯能帮你触及自己的核心和深处。

But that doesn't mean that same tool or habit will help you get to the core and the depths of yourself.

所以，我想让你把这个问题想得更广一些。

And so I want you to think a bit broader about this.

这适用于每一个曾经处于这种境地的人，想知道这是否是他们真正的道路。

And this applies to everyone who's ever been in this position of finding, is this their authentic path?

这是他们的热情所在吗？

Is this their passion?

这是他们的使命吗？

Is this their purpose?

问题不在于写作、演讲或教练是否适合你。

The question isn't whether writing or speaking or coaching are the right path for you.

更深层的问题是，谁在做决定？

The deeper question is, who is making the decision?

是那个认为你的价值来自有用和高效的那部分你吗？

Is it the part of you that believes your worth comes from being useful and productive?

还是那个当你从完整而非期待出发帮助他人时，感到最有活力的那部分你。

Or is it the part of you that feels most alive when you're helping people from a place of wholeness rather than expectation.

我想帮你区分一下生存模式的样子和你真实声音的样子。

I want to draw a bit of a difference for you between what survival patterns look like and what your authentic voice looks like.

我发现生存模式通常有点急迫。

I found that survival patterns usually are a bit urgent.

它们充满了压力。

They're full of pressure.

它们就像在说，现在就搞清楚，做得更多，变得更有价值，别落后，继续证明自己。

They're like, figure it out now, do more, become more valuable, don't fall behind, keep proving yourself.

你还有更多要展示的。

You've got more to show.

而你真实的声音往往更温柔一些。

And your authentic voice is often a little gentler.

更安静一些。

It's a little more quiet.

它不要求你去挣得自己的价值。

It doesn't demand that you earn your worth.

它更像是一种邀请，嘿，我觉得这可能适合你。

It's more of like a invite into, hey, I think this might be right for you.

就像一个小小的推动，像一个温柔的朋友。

It's like a little nudge, like a gentle friend.

所以我想让你问自己的问题是，如果没有人为此赞美我、付我钱或认可我，我还会被它吸引吗？

And so the question I want you to ask yourself is, if no one ever praised me, paid me, or recognized me for this, would I still feel drawn to it?

我记得我自己在思考想做什么的时候，我是在三到五个人的小房间里做这件事的。

I remember in my own life when I was wondering what I wanted to do, I was doing this in rooms of three to five people.

我每周有三个晚上，每个晚上花三个小时，就是单纯地帮助别人。

I would spend three hours a night, sometimes three nights a week, just helping people.

我没有为此得到报酬。

I didn't get paid for it.

也没有人为此表扬我。

I didn't get praised for it.

我没有任何粉丝，但那种感觉真的很美好。

Didn't have any followers, but it was beautiful.

我热爱这件事。

I loved it.

所以我就一直坚持做下去。

And so I carried on doing it.

所以如果你心里的答案是肯定的，我就是这么做的。

So if for you the answer is yes, I do this.

如果我不拿钱、不被夸奖、也没人认可，那你可能更接近真正想要的东西了。

If I didn't get paid, praised or recognized, you're probably getting closer to something genuine.

另一个线索是，你在准备做这件事的时候，以及做完之后，感觉怎么样。

Another clue is what happens when you're preparing to do the work and after you do it.

为了生存，你会觉得自己得不停地跑，才能保持相关，才能觉得自己够好。

Survival leaves you feeling like you have to keep running just to stay relevant, just to stay enough.

真正想做的事，虽然也可能很难、很有挑战，但在付出的背后，会有一种平静和踏实的感觉。

Authentic work, it can still be difficult and challenging, but underneath the effort, there's a sense of peace alignment.

所以你真的要在当下观察自己。

So you really have to observe yourself in the moment.

我觉得这就像你去餐厅，走出来的时候，你会知道自己喜不喜欢那里的氛围，喜不喜欢服务或者食物，因为你会在心里跟自己确认一下。

I kind of think about it like when you go to a restaurant, when you walk out, you know whether you like the ambiance of the restaurant, you know whether you like the service or the food because you check-in with yourself.

所以有时候你得真的去做，而不只是想一想。

So sometimes you have to do the act, not just think about it.

你得真正去实践。

You actually have to do it.

也许你可以试试教练工作，试试写作，然后问问自己，这感觉怎么样？

Maybe you try some coaching, try some writing and then you check-in with yourself and ask, how did this feel?

感觉真实吗？

Did it feel authentic and real?

还是只是觉得很难？

Or did it just feel hard?

还是觉得假惺惺的，像是装出来的？

Did it just feel fake or put on?

我还想再分享一点。

And I wanna share one more thing.

你不必在脑子里想清楚自己是谁，对吧？

You don't have to solve your identity in your head, right?

清晰不是想出来的，而是活出来的。

Clarity doesn't come from thinking, it comes from living.

所以，在成为作家之前先写作，在成为教练之前先做教练。

So write before you become a writer, Coach before you become a coach.

在成为演讲者之前，先开口说话。

Speak before you become a speaker.

让经历教会你那些思考永远无法教会的东西。

Let the experience teach you what thinking can never do.

亚瑟·布鲁克斯的成功陷阱正是你所说的那种机制。

Arthur Brooks' success trap is the exact mechanism you're naming.

那种把追求下一个成就当作证明自己足够好的本能反应，被误认为是使命。

The reflex to reach for the next achievement as a way to feel like enough, mistaken for a calling.

在他的畅销书《从力量到力量：在人生下半场找到成功、幸福和深层目标》中，亚瑟·布鲁克斯谈到，追逐外在回报会让你的欲望增长得比成就更快，让你永远不满足。

In his bestselling book, From Strength to Strength, Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life, Arthur Brooks talks about how chasing external rewards raises your wants faster than your achievements, leaving you perpetually unsatisfied.

所以，我觉得你完全不是那样的人。

And so I don't think you sound like that at all.

我觉得你是那种想从目标和满足感出发工作的人，但这就是检验的方法。

I think you're somebody who wants to work from a place of purpose and fulfillment, but that's the way to know.

你只是在追逐一个你希望别人如何看待你的版本吗？

Are you simply chasing a version of how you want people to see you?

还是说，你是在追求自己希望看到的自我形象？

Or are you pursuing how you want to see yourself?

本期《On Purpose》节目由马自达为您呈现。

This episode of On Purpose is presented to you by Mazda.

安心感不会凭空而来。

Peace of mind doesn't happen by chance.

它源于我们在真正需要之前，就培养出的那些习惯。

It's created through the habits we build before we ever need them.

这就是马自达的理念所在。配备主动安全功能，帮你保持更敏锐的感知、更紧密的连接和更高的参与度，让你随时准备好应对路上的各种状况。

That's the philosophy behind every Mazda With proactive safety features that help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged, Mazda helps you feel ready for whatever the road brings.

这也是为什么马自达被评为《消费者报告》最安全的汽车品牌。

It's why Mazda has been named Consumer reports safest new car brand.

截至2026年7月，马自达获得的2026年度IIHS顶级安全选择+奖项数量超过其他任何汽车品牌。

And as of July 2026, Mazda has won more 2026 IIHS top safety pick plus awards than any other car brand.

请访问www.iihs.org了解更多详情。

Visit www.iihs.org to learn more.

很多事都可能发生，即使没有发生事故。

A lot can happen when an accident doesn't.

访问 mazdausa.com 了解更多。

Visit mazdausa.com to learn more.

《消费者报告》不认可任何产品或服务。

Consumer reports does not endorse products or services.

你好。

Hi.

我最近辞去了公司的工作，专注于自己的心理健康。

I recently left my corporate career to put focus on my mental health.

我做了十多年的创意总监，一直在企业营销领域工作，后来我开始觉得自己真的失去了个人独特的创意视角。

I've been a creative director working in corporate marketing for over ten years, and I started feeling like I really lost my personal and unique creative perspective.

所以我辞职了。

And so I left my job.

辞职后，我决定给自己六个月的时间去做一个热爱的项目。

When I did that, I decided that I should give myself six months of working on a passion project.

所以我开始做播客了。

And so I started a podcast.

这真的让我感到非常充实。

It's been really, really fulfilling.

它让我能够以我想要的方式表达我的创造力。

It has allowed me to express my creativity in the way that I want to.

但我很快就要到那个六个月的期限了。

But I am approaching that six month mark pretty soon.

我知道事情需要时间。

And I know that things take time.

播客已经发展出了一小群非常忠实的粉丝，而且似乎在不断增长。

And the podcast has developed this, like, small, very loyal fan base that seems to be growing.

但我以前从未经历过这种程度的经济不稳定。

But I have also never had this level of financial instability before.

我在纠结是去找一份企业工作，重新回到那个世界，还是让播客成为我重新找到创作声音的美好方式。

I'm wrestling with looking for a corporate job and just like diving back into that world, letting the podcast be a beautiful way for me to find my creative voice again.

所以我的问题是，为了做出正确的决定，我需要问自己哪些问题？

So my question is, what are the things that I need to ask myself in order to make the right move here?

非常感谢你提出这个问题。

Thank you so much for that question.

你说的很多内容我都能感同身受。

I can relate to so much of what you said.

所以我也要分享一些我个人的想法。

So I'll be sharing some of my personal reflections as well.

但我想先说，你做得好，有远见和眼光，能暂时放下工作。

But I wanna start by saying, well done for having the foresight and the vision to pull away from your work.

因为当你做了十年某件事，要抽身真的非常非常难。

Because when you've been doing something for ten years, it's really, really hard to step away.

而且你还有勇气真的说出来，我想保护我的心理健康。

And so the fact that you had the courage to actually say, I want to protect my mental health.

我想追求有创意的事情。

I want to pursue creative things.

我想追随自己的直觉，这绝对是一个巨大的进步。

I want to follow my instinct and my intuition is an incredible step forward.

这可不是倒退。

It isn't a step behind.

所以真的为你迈出这一步感到高兴。

So well done for taking that step truly.

我看到太多人一直拼命往前冲，直到累垮或者接近崩溃才停下来。能主动留出时间来自我调节，这是自我觉察和向前迈进的了不起的一步。

I see so many people who keep pushing themselves, maybe reach burnout or close enough and only take time when they break to do it proactively is a phenomenal step in self awareness and moving forward.

我想说的是，你一开始做这个决定的时候，是打算休息六个月的。

Now, what I'll say to you is you initially did this knowing you wanted six months out.

很美好的一点是，听起来这段时间对你很有帮助。

And what's beautiful is that it sounds like it's been beneficial.

我感觉你现在对当初的这个决定挺满意的。

I feel like you sound like you feel good about this decision.

你还发现了播客这个领域，我很高兴你正在积累一小批忠实听众。

You also have discovered the podcast, which I'm so happy you're building a small, low following.

这说明你真的在影响别人。

It means you're really having an impact on people.

我也很高兴你能看到自己给别人带来的价值。

And I'm so glad that you're getting to see the value you have to bring others as well.

其实我要问的问题，并不是说你该不该回到原来的工作。

And the questions I'd be asking are actually not so much about, do you go back into your job?

你要不要继续做播客？

Do you work on the podcast?

你是不是非得二选一？

Do you have to choose either or?

我真正想让你问自己的是，怎么才能两样都做，同时让自己感觉良好，对自己做的事满意？

The question I'd actually be asking yourself is, how do I do both in a way that allows me to feel good about myself and what I'm doing?

怎么才能既避免经济上的不稳定，又避免创意上的枯竭？

How do I allow myself to not experience financial instability, but also not experience creative breakdown?

就在这之前，你有经济上的稳定，但缺少一个创意出口。

Right before this moment, you had financial stability, but you didn't have a creative outlet.

你之前没有那种平衡和宁静的感觉，我猜你现在正体验着这种感觉。

You didn't have that sense of balance and calm that I assume you're experiencing right now.

你现在不想要的是，你有了宁静，有了出口，但没有了经济稳定。

And what you don't want now is that you have the calm, you have the outlet, but you don't have the financial stability.

我们希望这两者能共存，因为它们都对心理健康有影响。

We wanna live in a world where these two can coexist because both of them have an impact on your mental health.

我觉得我们常常生活在这样一个时代，说工作压力很大，我只需要休息一下来照顾心理健康。

I think often we live in a time right now that says, work's really stressful and I just need a break for my mental health.

却没有意识到，没有工作、经济稳定、日常规律、节奏、同事，某种模式，也可能对我们的心理健康造成困难。

Not realizing that not having work, the financial stability, the routine, the rhythm, the colleagues, some sort of pattern that can also be hard for our mental health.

所以我们必须审视的是，什么样的工作，你每周能工作多少小时？

And so what we have to look at it and say is what type of work, how many hours could you work a week?

你需要和什么样的同事在一起？

What type of colleagues do you need to be around?

你希望在什么样的工作环境中工作，才不会感到想要逃离、逃避的冲动？

What type of workplace environment do you want to function in, in order to not feel that desire to run away, get away and escape?

那会是什么样子呢？

What does that look like?

你带着哪些新标准回到职场，让你不再将就，不再妥协自己的需求？

What are your new standards that you're going back to the world of work with where you won't settle for less, where you won't compromise on your needs?

这些就是我会问自己的问题。

Those are the types of questions I'd be asking yourself.

那份工作存在，那份事业存在，你清楚这一点，并且知道自己不会将就，这会带来天壤之别。

That job exists, that work exists, you being clear about that exists, and you knowing what you won't settle for is going to make all the difference.

同时，你得选择一份不会妨碍你做这个播客的工作。

At the same time, you have to choose some work that doesn't stop you from doing this podcast.

你找到了使命感。

You found a sense of purpose.

你找到了意义。

You found meaning.

你从中找到了价值和满足感，你不想放弃它。

You found value and fulfillment in it, and you don't wanna give it up.

你现在已经建立了一些适合自己的模式、节奏和习惯。

You've created patterns and rhythms and habits right now that seem like they're suiting you.

你怎么能在生活中优先安排它们，这样当你回去工作时就不会忘记融入它们？

How can you prioritize them in your life so that you don't forget to incorporate them when you go back into work?

别让你的使命为你的薪水负责。

Don't make your purpose responsible for your paycheck.

现在别给你的热情施加压力，让它变成你的收入来源。

Don't put pressure on your passion to become your paycheck right now.

做一份能付账单的工作没问题。

It's okay to work a job that pays the bills.

工作只是为你的生活提供资金。

A job is what funds your life.

它不一定要成为你灵魂发挥最大价值的地方。

It doesn't have to be the place where your soul does its best work.

它可以做好工作，做很棒的工作，但它不一定要是你梦想做的事情。

It can do good work, wonderful work, but it doesn't have to be the thing you dream of doing.

我记得我也曾处于和你类似的境地，当时我有一份公司的工作，同时还在网上做视频。

I remember when I was in a similar position to you where I was working a corporate job and at the same time I was creating videos online.

同时我还在线下给人做辅导。

And at the same time I was coaching people offline.

同时我还在做主题演讲，这些全都是在我本职工作之外做的。

And at the same time I was doing keynote speeches, all on top of my work.

而我的工作让我有机会去探索所有这些其他的领域。

And my work allowed me to explore all these other avenues.

我也把自己的热情带到了工作中。

And I also brought my passions into work.

我记得我在工作中成为了心理健康大使。

I remember becoming a mental health ambassador at work.

我记得我在工作中教正念和冥想，这让工作变得更有意义。

I remember teaching mindfulness and meditation at work which made work more meaningful.

把你的热情带到工作场所中去。

Take your passion into the workplace.

在工作中也要找到你的目标。

Find your purpose in the workplace as well.

把这个心理健康播客带到任何地方，让它发挥作用，这样你就能整合你的生活，而不是把它割裂开。

Take this mental health podcast and make it useful to wherever you go so that you get to integrate your life not disconnect it.

让我觉得特别有意思的是，如果你现在就想靠这个播客赚钱，那会给你的创意带来很大的压力。

What's really fascinating to me is that if you try and make your podcast your paycheck right now, it can put so much pressure on the creativity.

现在让你特别开心的事情，很快就会变成痛苦的来源。

The thing that currently brings you so much joy can very quickly turn into a source of pain.

我一次又一次地看到，当有人辞掉工作去做他们热爱的事情时，那确实让他们开心。

I've seen this time and time and time again, that when someone quits their job, they're doing their passion that brings them joy.

但突然之间，他们的热爱无法支付账单，于是热爱变成了痛苦和压力的来源。

And all of a sudden their passion isn't paying the bills and now their passion becomes a pain and a source of pressure.

你要让它继续作为一份热爱，自然地成长，持续发展，不断积累一个美好的粉丝群体。

You want to allow it to continue to be a passion, continue to grow organically, continue to develop and keep building a beautiful fan base.

同时，也要有一份不会给你带来太多压力的收入来源。

And at the same time, have a source of income that doesn't cause you too much stress.

不会让你太失衡。

That isn't causing you too much imbalance.

我知道你在想，杰，这听起来像是一个完美的场景。

Now I know you're thinking Jay, that sounds like a perfect scenario.

我当然愿意接受。

Of course I'd take that.

你说得对，不会有哪份工作能给你恰到好处的压力，同时还能让你一直保持热情。

And you're right, there is not gonna be a job that gives you the perfect amount of stress and the passion that keeps being possible to do all the time.

总会有一些取舍。

There's gonna be a little bit of a give and take.

总会有一些妥协。

There's gonna be a little bit of a compromise.

但你要做的是睁大眼睛，看清一切。

But what you want to do is go in with your eyes wide open.

你要带着明确的问题进入职场。

You wanna go into a workplace and be really clear about the questions you ask.

要对自己带来的东西充满信心。

Be really confident about what you bring.

然后你要继续追求你的热情，同时意识到你可以用全部的创造力去做这件事。

And you wanna go and continue to do your passion recognizing that you get to do it with your full creativity.

这不是一个非此即彼的问题。

This isn't an either or issue.

我觉得大脑的运作方式是制造紧张感，告诉你必须做这个或者必须做那个。

I think what the mind does is it creates tension by saying you have to do this or you have to do this.

实际上，最健康的答案就是找到中间道路。

And in effect, what the healthiest answer is, is to find the middle path.

那条平衡两者的路，让两者共存的路，让两者都成为你生活中重要部分的路。

The path that balances both, the path that allows both to coexist, the path that allows both to be important parts of your lives.

所以这更多是一个协调同步的问题，而不是非此即彼的问题。

So this is more of a syncing up issue than it is a either or issue.

别让大脑骗你，让你以为只有一条对的路或错的路，或者以为这是一个直接的取舍。

And don't let the mind trick you into believing there's one right path or wrong path, or there's a straight trade.

其实完全可以找到一种方式，既能实现财务稳定，又能继续追求你的热爱。

There is a way of creating a collaborative opportunity for being financially stable and continuing to pursue your passion.

祝大家一切顺利。

Wishing you all the best.

带着这份底气开启人生的新篇章吧。不再担心工作会再次压得你喘不过气，而是因为你已经提高了标准，清楚什么才真正适合你。

Move to this next chapter, not with fear that work will be overwhelming again, but that your standards have been raised so that you know what aligns with you.

本节目由 Walden University 赞助播出。

This episode is brought to you by Walden University.

平衡工作、生活和宏大目标并不容易。

Balancing work, life, and big goals isn't easy.

这就是为什么 Walden University（瓦伦大学）通过 Tempo Learning 项目，帮助在职专业人士获得所需的能力，让你能够按照自己的节奏攻读学位，同时通过真实生活场景掌握实用技能。

That's why Walden University helps working professionals get the w with Tempo Learning, so you can earn your degree at your own pace while gaining practical skills through real life scenarios.

你还能向拥有丰富实战经验的教师学习，并获得从始至终的支持。

You'll also learn from faculty with real world experience and have support start to finish.

Walden University，为改变设定航向。

Walden University, set a course for change.

准备好开始了吗？

Ready to start?

今天就访问waldenu.edu吧。

Visit waldenu.edu today.

经Shev认证运营，Tempo Learning适用于部分课程。

Certified to operate by Shev, Tempo Learning, available in select programs.

我现在正忙着经营一家新公司，这家公司是去年11月开业的。

Right now I'm in the middle of running a new business that opened up back in November.

我先简单介绍一下自己的背景。

I will give a little bit of a backstory of myself.

我现在正在完成我的本科学位。

I am finishing my bachelor's degree right now.

我还开了一家护理服务公司，提供宠物看护、保姆、辅导和看家等服务。

I also opened up a care business where it's in demand of services of pet sitting, babysitting, tutoring and home sitting.

我现在面临很多压力，这些压力影响了我的工作、学习、家庭和感情生活。

I am now under the pressure of many things in terms of it's affecting my work life, my study life, my family life and my relationship life.

我心里想着，这生意一定会成功，会做得很好，一切都会顺利。

I have in my head that it's going to succeed, it's gonna do great, everything is going well.

但我也感受到了挑战和压力，觉得自己要是走错一步，感情就会破裂，或者让家人失望。

But I also feel the challenges and that burden on myself that if I do any wrong move that my relationship's gonna fall apart or my family's gonna be disappointed.

其实，我现在心里有点想关掉这个生意，因为我也想专注于自己的职业发展。

I mean, have in the back of my head right now that I would like to close the business because I also wanna focus on my career.

但我现在也卡住了，因为我需要搬家。

But I'm also at the standstill of I need to move my apartment.

我一拿到学位，就得马上找新的职业。

I need to find my new career as soon as I get my degree.

我的问题是，从优先级来看，什么才是正确的决定？

My question is what is the right decision to make in terms of priorities?

因为生活中当然有五个优先事项。

Because there of course are the five priorities in life.

但哪一个最重要，以及一个人怎样才能不被工作、感情和家庭生活中的小决定压得喘不过气来。

But what is the one that matters most and how can one not feel overwhelmed and burdened by just little decisions in terms of work life, relationship life and family life.

我想说，你所建立的一切是值得骄傲的。

I wanna say that what you've built is something to be proud of.

你正在完成学位，创办了企业，还努力为你爱的人付出。

You're finishing a degree, you start a business and you're trying to show up for the people you love.

我的意思是，你现在已经赢了。

I mean, you're winning right now.

这简直难以置信。

Like that's unbelievable.

恭喜你。

Congrats.

这真的很了不起。

Like that's truly brilliant.

你感到不堪重负并不意味着你失败了。

And the fact that you feel overwhelmed doesn't mean you're failing.

那只是说明你做的事情很多，承担的责任很重，对吧？

It just means you're doing a lot, you're carrying a lot, right?

我给你的最大建议就是，不要在精疲力竭的时候做出永久性的决定。

And the biggest advice I would give you is this, don't make a permanent decision while you're in a temporary state of exhaustion.

现在听起来你好像在问，我是继续经营这个生意，还是放弃它？

Right now it sounds like you're asking like, do I keep the business or do I give it up?

但真正的问题可能是，在我现在这种情况下，我能维持哪种版本？

But the real question might actually be what version can I sustain right now with everything I've got going on?

当然，重要的是要记住，生意应该是为你的生活服务的，而不是消耗你的生活。

And it's important to remember of course, that a business is supposed to serve your life, not consume it for sure.

你不需要通过牺牲健康、人际关系或未来来证明自己的价值。

And you don't have to prove your worth by keeping something alive at the cost of your health, your relationships or your future.

但你也不必仅仅因为这段时间很艰难就放弃你创造的东西。

But you also don't have to abandon something you created just because this season feels difficult.

这里的关键词是“阶段”。

And that's the important word there, season.

人生是有阶段的。

There are seasons of life.

想想大自然吧。

Think about nature.

有春天，有夏天，有秋天，还有冬天。

You have spring, you have summer, you have autumn, and you have winter.

大自然在每个季节做的事情都不一样。

Nature is doing something entirely different in each season.

难道说冬天树木光秃秃的，就代表它不重视生长了吗？

Does it mean that it doesn't prioritize growth in winter when the trees are bare?

难道说某些季节它不追求美丽，就代表它不重视美了吗？因为它正在经历再生。

Does it mean that it doesn't prioritize beauty in certain seasons because it's going through a state of regeneration?

不是的，我们明白大自然需要在不同的时候做不同的事情，才能保持同步，保持协调。

No, we recognize that nature needs to do different things at different times in order to stay in sync, to stay coordinated.

所以，你的人生中会有一些阶段，你把更多精力放在事业上，而不是其他事情上。

And so there will be seasons in your life where you focus more on your business than everything else.

也会有另一些阶段，你把更多精力放在家庭上，而不是其他事情上。

And there will be seasons in your life you focus more on your family than everything else.

生活中也会有这样的阶段，你会把更多精力放在事业上，超过其他一切。

And there'll be seasons in your life that you focus more on your career than everything else.

生活就是这样运作的。

That's how life functions.

而你要做的，尤其是在人际关系上，就是沟通。

And what you want to do, especially with your relationships, is communicate.

你对我说的这些话，如果能对你爱的人说，嘿，我真的在努力想办法解决这个问题。

What you said to me, if you could say to the people that you love, hey, I'm really struggling trying to figure out how to do this.

我希望你知道你对我有多重要。

I hope you know how much you mean to me.

我希望你知道，这是我正在处理的一个暂时性的问题。

I hope you know how this is a temporary thing I'm working on.

一旦我搞定了事业，我就能把工作放一放了。

And once I figured out my career, I'll be able to put my business aside.

我们不会因为工作太努力而毁掉和所爱之人的关系。

We don't ruin our relationships with the people we love because we're working too hard.

我们之所以会毁掉关系，是因为我们没有沟通自己在忙什么，也从来没有停下来，在不同阶段把对方放在优先位置。

We ruin them because we don't communicate about the work we're doing and we never stop to also prioritize them in different seasons.

试图每天完美地平衡所有人和所有事，注定会失败。

Trying to balance everyone and everything perfectly every day is a recipe for failure.

想象一下，大自然说今天我们要有闪电、雨、风、太阳、花朵、光秃秃的树、像秋天一样落叶。

Imagine nature said today we're going to have lightning, rain, wind, sun, flowers, bare trees, leaves falling off like in fall.

想象一下，你试图在二十四小时内完成所有这些。

Imagine you try to do that all in twenty four hours.

我是说，也许洛杉矶有时候确实会这样，但如果大自然每天都这样，那会让人精疲力尽。

I mean, maybe LA kind of does that sometimes, but if nature tried to do that every day, it would be exhausting.

一切都会崩溃。

Everything would fall apart.

很多时候，我们试图在同一天里成为完美的伴侣、完美的专业人士、完美的人、完美的父母。

And a lot of the times we're trying to be the perfect partner, the perfect professional, the perfect person, the perfect parent, all in the same day.

这根本不可能。

It's impossible.

所以，与其问什么是最完美的选择，我希望你想想这个问题。

So instead of asking what's the perfect choice, I want you to think about this.

我的首要任务是什么？

What is my top priority?

未来六到十二个月里，我的头号优先事项是什么？

My number one priority for the next six to twelve months?

可能就只是毕业和找工作。

It literally could be just graduating and finding a job.

第二个问题，哪些承诺是真正必要的，哪些可以减少？

And then second question, what commitments are truly necessary And what can be reduced?

或者哪些可以暂停？

Or what can be paused?

如果今天停止，不会影响你余生的事情是什么？

What if it stopped today wouldn't affect the rest of your life?

最后，如果我不怕让人失望，我会做出什么决定？

And ultimately, if I remove the fear of disappointing people, what decision would I make?

因为经营生意并不会让人失望。

Because running a business doesn't disappoint people.

真正让人失望的，是你如何沟通你生活中的事情，或者让他们知道你的处境。

It's how you communicate about what you're doing in your life that can let people down or let them know where you're at.

接下来的部分由Wayfair赞助播出。

This next segment is brought to you by Wayfair.

就像平静的内心一样，一个支持你日常生活的家也需要用心打造。

Just like a peaceful mind, a home that supports your everyday life needs to be built with intention.

当你用那些能在生活不可预测的时刻依靠的优质家具填满你的空间时，你的家就不仅仅是一个居住的地方。

When you fill your space with quality pieces you can rely on through life's unpredictable moments, your home becomes more than a place to live.

它成为你做其他一切事情的基础。

It becomes a foundation for everything else you do.

所以今天我们讨论的是做出有意识的选择，以及投资那些能支撑我们未来多年的物品的力量。

So today we're talking about the power of making intentional choices and investing in the pieces that sustain us for years to come.

欢迎来到我们的“经久耐用”环节。

Welcome to our Built to Last segment.

我最近一直在想关于“避风港”这个概念。

I've been thinking a lot about this idea of a sanctuary.

我们通常想象避风港是一个可以逃离的地方，一个安静平和、远离日常生活压力的地方。

We usually imagine a sanctuary as somewhere we escape to, somewhere quiet and peaceful, away from the demands of everyday life.

但我认为，我们能创造的最重要的避风港之一，就是我们每天回到的那个地方。

But I think one of the most important sanctuaries we can create is the place we return to every day.

因为我们的生活大部分时间都在应对周围的世界。

Because so much of our lives is spent responding to the world around us.

我们在回消息、做决定、思考下一步，即使身体停下来，思绪也不一定跟着停。

We're answering messages, making decisions, thinking about what's next, and even when we physically stop, our minds don't always stop with us.

这就是为什么回家的感觉如此强大。

That's why there's something so powerful about coming home.

你推开门，放下钥匙，坐在你常坐的位置，身体几乎会意识到：我到家了。

You walk through the door, put your keys down, sit in the place you always sit, and your body almost seems to recognize I'm home.

在这里，我可以放松下来。

I can exhale here.

我觉得这就是家的真正意义。

I think that's what home really is.

它不仅仅是一个物理空间，更是一种感觉。

It's not just a physical place, it's a feeling.

而这种感觉往往是由非常平凡的事物营造出来的。

And that feeling is often created through really ordinary things.

比如一天结束时大家聚在一起的沙发，让房间显得温馨的灯光，还有你进行过无数次对话的那张桌子。

The sofa where everyone gathers at the end of the day, the lying that makes a room feel warm, the table where you've had hundreds of conversations.

随着时间的推移，这些事物成为我们生活仪式的一部分。

Over time, those things become part of our rituals.

它们带来熟悉感、舒适感和归属感。

They create a sense of familiarity, comfort and belonging.

所以我认为，创造一个庇护所并不是要打造一个完美的家。

And that's why I don't think creating a sanctuary is about creating a perfect home.

而是要创造一个支持你实际生活方式的空间。

It's about creating a space that supports the way you actually live.

因为恢复精力不一定意味着要离开家。

Because restoration doesn't always mean getting away.

有时候，只是走进自己的家门，就感觉肩膀放松了下来。

Sometimes it's walking through your own front door and feeling your shoulders drop.

所以，问题可能不只是我的家看起来怎么样？

So maybe the question isn't just what does my home look like?

也许更该问的是，我的家让我感觉怎么样？

Maybe it's how does my home make me feel?

这个空间能帮我找回自己吗？

And does this space help me come back to myself?

当你的家里摆满了你信赖的物件，你就有更多精力去关注真正重要的事情。

When your home is filled with pieces you can count on, you have more room to focus on what matters most.

在照顾自己的同时，让Wayfair帮你打造一个经得起真实生活的家。

As you care for yourself, let Wayfair help you create a home that stands up to real life.

前往wayfair.com，选购所有家居用品。

Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home.

这就是wayfair.com。

That's wayfair.com.

Wayfair。

Wayfair.

各种风格，各种家。

Every style, every home.

记住，目标不是要求你一次性做完所有事。

Remember that purpose doesn't demand doing everything at once.

真正的满足感来自于明白：当你被琐碎的决定压得喘不过气时，通常是因为你的大脑把所有事情都归到了同一个紧急的类别里。

True fulfillment comes from understanding that when you feel overwhelmed by small decisions, it is usually because your mind has flattened everything into the same urgent bucket.

你需要做的不是同时应付，而是分清先后顺序。

The shift you need to make is to sequence, not to juggle.

与其把所有球都抛在空中，不如退一步，找出那个需要先倒下的多米诺骨牌。

Instead of keeping all those balls in the air, step back and name the single domino that needs to fall first.

这些微小的决定，其实大多数并不是同等重要的。

Most of these micro decisions aren't actually equal in weight.

它们之所以感觉沉重又都一样，是因为你试图在同一时间把它们全部扛起来。

They only feel heavy and identical because you're trying to carry them all at the exact same time.

谢谢你把这些话都说出来。

Thank you for saying all of that out loud.

当你不再把所有事情都憋在心里的时候，有些事情就会发生变化。

There's something that changes the moment you stop holding it all inside.

记住，你不必一个人扛着。

And remember, you don't have to hold it alone.

我非常感激你能如此坦诚，把你的真实想法分享给这么多人。

And I'm so grateful that you're being so vulnerable and sharing your truth with so many.

继续发来你的想法，我会一直倾听。

Keep sending them in, and I'll keep listening.