吉姆·柯蒂斯：停止自我破坏的秘诀

我就是那个人，你知道的，不管是什么。

I am the person, you know, whatever it may be.

我觉得我们说的这些话，其实我们内心是相信的。

I think we say these things that we obviously inherently believe.

对。

Yeah.

然后就会有一种冲突，一边是夸张的肯定语，一边是微弱的自我信念。

And then there's this kind of fight between this outlandish affirmation and this minimal self belief.

那跟我聊聊这个平衡，你是怎么调整的？

So talk to me about that balancing act and how you reconfigure that.

我们美丽的身体和大脑唯一想做的就是保护我们，让我们生存下去。

All our beautiful bodies and our mind wanna do is protect us and survival.

所以，你知道，这总是让我思考，有很长一段时间我生自己的身体和想法的气，但我们拥有的一切，即使是坏的想法，即使是困难的事情，都是为了我们的生存。

And so, you know, that always makes me wonder when, for a long time I was mad at my own body, my own thoughts, but everything that we have, even the bad thoughts, even the difficult things are for our own survival.

所以潜意识会保护你，因此它有信念，有模式，有熟悉感，所以如果某件事不符合熟悉的信念或模式，而你直接给它一个指令，它会重视它，但它不符合。

And so the subconscious mind will protect you, and therefore it has beliefs, and it has patterns, and it has familiarity, and so if something doesn't fit into a familiarity belief in a pattern, and you give it a direct command, it will value it, it doesn't fit in.

所以如果你有一个信念，比如我必须非常努力才能赚到钱，也许有些人，你知道，就像我的父母是老师和护士，我能成为千万富翁吗？然后我对自己说，我是个千万富翁，你知道，不管是什么，潜意识会说，不，你不是，那不是你，那不是你，你可以说很多次，但那不是你。

So if you have a belief that like I have to work really hard to get money and perhaps some, you know, like my parents were a teacher and a nurse and could I be a multi multi millionaire and then I say to myself, I'm a wealthy 10 millionaire, you know, whatever it is, the subconscious mind says, no, you're not, that's not you, that's not you, and you can say that as many times, but it's not you.

这在我和你说话时也适用，比如如果你不擅长接受赞美，或者你相信，你知道，你今天穿那些衣服看起来不太好，而我说，那些衣服穿在你身上真好看，你会说，对。

It also works when I'm talking to you, like if you have trouble taking compliments, or you believe that, you know, like you don't look great in those clothes today, and I say, those clothes look so good on you, you said, Yeah.

或者也许他并不真正了解我，你知道，如果他了解我，他就会知道。所以我们开始用不同的方式告诉我们的潜意识，这样它就能接受。

Or maybe he doesn't really know me, you know, if he knew me, he'd know, So we start to tell our subconscious mind in different ways so it can accept it.

对于赞美，我们会把它放在一个问题里，我想知道你是否意识到，比如，蓝色是你的颜色。

For the compliment, we'd put it in a question, I wonder if you realize that, like, blue is your color.

对吧？

Right?

然后你的潜意识会说，对。

And then your subconscious mind says, yeah.

蓝色可能是我的颜色吗？

Could blue might be my color?

是的。

Yes.

肯定语也是一样的道理。

So same with affirmations.

从“我今天工作更努力，明天会更努力”开始。

Start with, I am working more today and even more tomorrow.

我每天都在变得更好。

I am becoming better every day.

你知道，我今天比昨天进步一点，明天比今天进步一点，每天都在积累，积累财富。这样坚持一段时间后，你就可以逐步提升，因为你会采取行动让这些肯定语成真。

You know, I am more today and even more tomorrow building more and more every day, building wealth, and after you do that for a while, you can start to ladder up because you'll take an action that will make it true.

对。

Mhmm.

对吧？

Right?

你会注意到，哎，我的银行账户确实涨了。

You'll notice, okay, in my bank account, I did go up.

我存了一点钱，然后你就可以说，我有能力、有潜力在不那么费力的情况下积累巨大财富。

I saved a little bit of money, and then you could say, I have the possibility, I have the potential of building great wealth without so much effort.

然后你说，哦，我在街上捡到了20块钱，或者不管是什么，你会开始注意到一种规律，然后它就会成真，接着你就进入“我是”的阶段。

And you say, oh, I found 20 on the street, or or whatever it is, you'll start to recognize a pattern, and it'll become true, and then you move into the I am.

“我是我所是”，那个创造的“我是”。

The I am that I am, the I am of creation.

我们说什么“我是”，我们就会成为什么。

Whatever we say I am, we become.

这是在身份层面上的。

That's on the identity level.

但在灵性层面上，这个想法是我们与宇宙并非分离，我们就是创造者，我们就是能量和源头，任何时候你说“我是”，你就是在向宇宙投射出最美丽的创造，让它去实现。

But then the spiritual level, this idea that we are not separate from the universe, that we are the creators, we are the energy and the source, anytime that you say I am, you are casting the most beautiful creation to the universe to create it.

你就是源头。

You are the source.

所以当你说“我是财富，我是金钱”时，你怎么可能没有它呢？

So when you say, I am wealth, I am money, then how could you not have it?

没有分离。

There's no separation.

这是更高级的，随着你不断进步。

That's the more advanced as you start to as you start to progress.

事实上，我甚至可以说，我就是《On Purpose》节目。

In fact, I could even say, I am the on purpose show.

对吧？

Right?

在我冥想的时候，我想上这个节目，想着我的书，我冥想时对自己说，我就是《On Purpose》节目。

As I was doing my meditations and I wanted to come on this show and I'm thinking about my book, I did my meditations, I said, I am the on purpose show.

因为如果我就是它，我怎么可能不上这个节目呢？

Because how could I not be on it if I am it?

对吧？

Right?

没有分离。

There's no separation.

然后我不得不往上爬，接着遇到了一些阻力。

And then I had to ladder up, and then I met some resistance.

然后我说，好吧。

And I said, okay.

我要传播很多知识，配得上上这个节目。

I am going to spread so much knowledge and worthy of being on this show.

然后遇到了一些阻力，我就说，哦，你知道，你会感觉到阻力。

And then there was some resistance, and I said, oh, something, you know, you felt you feel resistance.

你会觉得你的潜意识在说，也许不行，或者你身体感到紧张。

You feel like your subconscious mind say, maybe not, or you feel tension in your body.

我们都知道阻力是什么感觉，我不得不问，这里的阻力是什么？

We all know what resistance feels like, and I had to say, what is the resistance here?

我不得不质疑它。

I had to question it.

然后我说，好吧，阻力可能是我不够好。

And I said, okay, the resistance is maybe I'm not good enough.

好吧。

Okay.

然后我就问自己，我生活中哪个部分是我在想象、看到或设想的？

And then I say, what part of my life as I as I visualize, see, or imagine?

你只需要让别人想象一下，他们就会进入一种轻微的恍惚状态，因为他们开始向内看。

All you have to do is ask someone to imagine, they go into a little bit of a trance because they go inward.

突然间，他们就进入了自己的内心世界。

All of a sudden, they go into their mind.

我说，让我想象、看到或设想一下。

I say, let me visualize, see, or imagine.

我是在哪里学到这个的？

Where in my life did I learn this?

我最初是在哪里学到自己可能不够好的？

Where did I first learn that maybe I wasn't good enough?

然后你想象一条时间线，突然一个画面浮现出来，是我小时候的样子，你知道，在我家的房子里，我父亲担心我们不够，不够好，当我看到那个画面时，我说，好的，这里的教训是什么？

And you picture a timeline and all of a sudden an image came up of me as a child, you know, in my in my family home, my father, you know, worried that like, you know, we didn't have enough, that we weren't good enough to be enough, and when I saw that, I said, okay, what is the lesson here?

我能从中汲取什么智慧？

What wisdom can I take?

然后我收到了这个信息，它说，你可以直接一点，然后向人们解释，其他人也有同样的感受，而在这种直接、专注和清晰中，它会改变人们的想法，所以，我够好吗？

And I got this message, and it said, the wisdom that you can be direct then explain this to people that others feel this way too, and in that directness, in that focus, in that clarity, it will change people's minds, and therefore, am I good enough?

然后响亮的回答是：是的。

And then the resounding response was yes.

仅仅通过这个过程，我就改变了一个信念。

And through that process alone, I changed a belief.

然后我必须采取行动，最后一步，就是给你发一条短信

Then I had to take an action, that last part, which was to write you a text

内容是，

that said,

我能上节目吗？

can I come on the show?

当然。

Yeah.

完全可以。

Absolutely.

对。

Yeah.

而且你在写那条短信之前，已经完成了所有这些步骤。

And you did all of that before you wrote the text.

是的。

Yes.

因为那让你准备好，写出了一条对你来说真实且发自内心的短信。

Because that prepared you to write a text that felt authentic and true to you.

那条短信让我感觉真实且发自内心，我知道自己有有价值的东西，而不只是像“帮我个忙”那种感觉，但我确实经历了那个过程。

That felt authentic and true and I knew that I had something of value and it wasn't just like do me a solid and you know that kind of thing, but I did that process.

谢谢你这么谦虚地分享这个过程，我的意思是，你完全有资格上这个节目，在很多方面都完全配得上，但我很感激你实时地展示了这对我们的影响。

Thank you for being so humble enough to share that process, I mean you're more than credible to be on the show and more than worthy to be on the show in so many ways, but I appreciate the real time take on how that impacts us.

对。

Yeah.

然后你开始想到现在正在听的人，他们没有申请那份工作，没有约那个人出去，没有改变职业，没有结束那段关系，因为……

And you start thinking about the person out there who's listening right now, who's not applying for that job, who's not asking that person out on a date, who's not changing careers 100 who's not breaking up from that relationship because

我们谁在将就。

we Who's settling.

我们在将就。

We're settling.

我们在将就，是因为我们相信——我想告诉那些和我一起工作的人，我合作的是世界上最成功、最知名的人，而我刚才解释的那种自我怀疑的过程，他们也有。

We're settling because we believe, and I wanna tell those people that I work with the most successful people in the world, the most well known people in the world, and what I just explained, that process of self doubt, they have it too.

我们都有。

We all have it.

不管你处在什么层次。

It doesn't matter which level you're at.

它会出现，因为这是一种自然状态。

It comes up because it's a natural condition.

关键在于你是让它盲目地引导你，还是质疑它并穿越它。

It's whether you let it blindly guide you, or if you're questioning it and moving through it.

我们都是人，有趣的是，我们都在隐藏同样的东西。

We're all human, and the funny thing is we're all hiding the same shit.

我们为什么要隐藏它？

Why are we hiding it?

我们觉得羞愧，因为

We feel shameful about

它。

it.

对。

Yeah.

对吧？

Right?

我们觉得羞愧。

We feel shameful.

我不想让别人知道，比如，我有些自我怀疑。

I don't want people to know that, you know, like, I had some self doubt.

我不想让别人知道，也许在这种情况下我觉得自己不值得被爱。

I don't want people to know that maybe I feel like I'm not lovable in this situation.

你猜怎么着？

And guess what?

一旦我们决定不再隐藏，我们就会变得比想象中更强大、更有吸引力、更有魅力，因为突然有人产生了共鸣。所以我要告诉每一个正在听的人：一旦你放下羞耻，意识到作为人类，我们都在隐藏着完全相同的东西，不管你有多成功。

As soon as we decide not to hide it, we become more powerful, more attractive, more magnetic than we could ever possibly imagine because someone all of a sudden relates, and so what I tell everybody and anybody that's listening is as soon as you release the shame, realize that as humans, we're all hiding the exact same thing, it doesn't matter who successful you are.

一旦你放下这些，勇敢地带着自己的脆弱前行，但要适度，对吧，别在陌生人面前当街崩溃。

As soon as you release that and just lead, go forward with your own vulnerability, within reason, right, don't start bleeding on the street in front of someone you don't know.

对。

Yeah.

但是

But

一旦你做到了，你就会变得极具魅力，也极其强大。

as soon as you do that, then you become incredibly magnetic and incredibly empowered.

说实话，我觉得我从小到大，并不是一个真正相信自己的人，我不是那样的。

I would honestly say that I grew up, I wouldn't say I really would be someone who felt like I believed in myself, like I wasn't that way.

而且我觉得现在人们看到你和你的工作，还有我，他们可能会想，杰伊肯定一直都知道自己是谁。但实际上我想说，你列出的这些步骤，正是我潜意识里走过的路，即使我当时没有意识到，而你把它变成了一个漂亮的阶梯。

And I think now when people probably see yourself and your work and me, they might think, yeah Jay must have just always like known who he was and I'd actually completely say that the steps you're laying out are steps that I subconsciously followed even if I wasn't aware of them in the beautiful step ladder that you've created.

这些都是我在努力做的事情，或者幸运的是我遇到了启发我的导师，我觉得这就是为什么导师、老师、教练、治疗师、长辈、父母、家人能发挥如此重要作用的原因。

They were things that I was working on or doing or luckily I met mentors who inspired me and I think that's why guides, teachers, mentors, coaches, therapists, people, elders, parents, family members have such a powerful role to play.

是谁把这些想法介绍给你的？

Who was it that introduced you to these ideas?

你是怎么接触到这些的？

How did you come across them?

我生活中有几个非常特别的人，但不是我的家人，因为你知道，在我家谈论心理治疗或自我提升，我父亲会说，你知道，我能做到。

I have a few really distinct people in my life, but it wasn't my family because you know, talked about therapy or self help in my family, my father would be, you know, I could do that.

我不去搞那些，我自己来。

I don't go to that, I do that.

当然他做不到，他会有很多严重不健康的人。

Of course he couldn't, he would have terribly dysfunctional people.

有很多人，但我真的把我的很多成长归功于我的残疾和疾病，因为我当时毫无意识地在生活中漂流，只是身体向前冲，你知道，就这样，是我的疾病让我醒了过来，所以通过那次疾病，我开始环游世界，先是去看普通医生找出问题，然后我开始去找厄瓜多尔的萨满、功夫大师。

There are a number of people, but really I credit a lot to my own disability and illness because I was flowing through life without, with zero awareness, just body forward, you know, kind of just, and it was my illness that kind of woke me up, and so through that illness, I started traveling all around the world, first just to regular doctors to see what was wrong, and then I started to go to Ecuadorian Shaman, grandmasters of Kung Fu.

我开始到处跑，想弄清楚发生了什么，我从他们每个人身上学到了不同的东西。

I started to go all over the place to try to figure out what was happening, and I learned different pieces from each of them.

我当时就想，哦，这里肯定有更伟大的东西，比我们的身体、信念，甚至周围的一切都要宏大。

And I said, oh, there's something greater here, something bigger than our body or our beliefs, something bigger than all, you know, the surroundings.

在表象之下，有一种更强大的能量，某种我们看不见、说不清，但确实在产生影响的东西。

There is a greater energy, a greater something beneath the fold that we can't see, we can't identify, but it's having an impact.

那我怎么才能更深入地接触它呢？

And how do I get more into that?

那是潜意识，还是别的什么？我怎么才能连接到这个更强大的源头？

Is that the subconscious mind, or is it something you know, how do I connect to this greater source?

所以我对这个变得特别好奇，然后我就去见越来越多的人，想知道到底怎么做——是冥想，是催眠，还是什么方法能触及它？

So I became really curious about that, and I'd go to more and more people and figure out how do I, is it meditation, is it hypnosis, what gets into it?

我太沉迷于寻找接触它的方法了，以至于都没注意到自己那些限制性的信念。

And I became so consumed with, like, finding out how to get in touch with that that I wasn't looking at my own limiting beliefs.

你知道吗，我当时只往外看。

You know, I was just focusing out.

外面有什么能帮到我呢？

What out here can I find to help me?

对。

Mhmm.

后来我在经营一家公司，是一家规模不小的健康类媒体公司，我是总裁，CEO是我的合伙人和好朋友，他是基督徒，有基督教价值观。

And then I was running a company, it was a fair sized media company around health, and I was the president, and the CEO was my partner and good friend, and he was Christian, and he had Christian values.

有一天他对我说，你为什么恨自己？

And one day he said to me, why do you hate yourself?

现在想起来我还是很激动，当时我就崩溃了。

And I get emotional thinking about it now, and I just broke down.

那是一个非常有冲击力的时刻，我说，你知道吗？

It was such an impactful moment, and I said, you know what?

我确实恨自己。

I do.

我确实恨自己，而且我得弄清楚为什么。

I do, and I have to figure out why.

正是对“为什么”的探索，对“我是不是不好”的探索，真正让我走上了这条路。

That exploration of of why, you know, the exploration of am I bad is really what put me on this path.

听到那个问题我鸡皮疙瘩都起来了，因为如果答案是肯定的，那真是个痛苦的真相。

That gave me goosebumps just hearing that question because if the answer's yes, that's a painful truth.

对。

Mhmm.

跟我说说你的病是什么，你经历了什么才踏上那段旅程？因为要找到答案，你肯定经历了极其痛苦的折磨。

Talk to me about what your illness was, what were you experiencing that even sent you on that journey because it must be excruciatingly painful for you to go that far and wide to find the answer.

我20岁的时候，身体非常强壮。

I, at 20 years old, was very strong.

我是个运动员。

I was an athlete.

我一直都是那种最阳刚、最强壮的运动员，非常注重身体。

I was always kind of the most macho, strongest athlete, very body focused.

然后我20岁那年醒来，去洗澡，感觉不到热水淋在左脚上。

And then I woke up at 20 years old and I got in the shower and I couldn't feel the hot water on my left foot.

那年夏天我住在科德角，到处骑自行车，因为我喝得太多了。

I was living on Cape Cod that summer and I was riding my bike around everywhere because I was drinking so much.

有一天晚上，我摔在沙滩上，科德角是个海滩小镇，我骑着那辆老旧的十速施文自行车冲上沙滩，结果整个人从车把上翻了过去，摔得很重。我爬起来后说，你知道吗？

One night I hit the sand, Cape Cod's a beach town, I hit the sand on this old 10 speed Schwinn bicycle, and I went flipping over the handlebars and I really hurt myself, and I got up and I said, you know what?

那肯定是神经被压到了。

That must have been a pinched nerve.

然后到了第二周，那种麻木和紧绷感蔓延到了膝盖，接着又到了大腿，再后来到了腰部，我就给我妈打了电话。

And then the next week, you know, that numbness and tightness went up to my knee, and then went up to my thigh, and then I went up to my waist, and I called my mother.

二十岁的小伙子受伤了都会这样，她是个急诊科护士，注册护士，她立刻说，我们得做个核磁共振。

That's what kind of 20 year old boys do when they're hurt, and she was an ER nurse, registered nurse, and she immediately said, we need to get an MRI.

核磁共振结果显示，我的脊髓上有个病变，而且还在恶化。

And so what the MRI showed was there was a lesion on my spinal cord, and it was progressing.

很快，我的右腿就失去了力气，然后我疼得不行。

Very rapidly, I lost strength in my right leg, and then I was in so much pain.

我不知道那是什么，但感觉就像神经在燃烧一样。

I didn't know what it was, but it was like my nerves were just on fire.

所以我开始满世界跑，想搞清楚到底是怎么回事。

So I started traveling all around the world to try to figure it out.

我去了梅奥诊所、克利夫兰诊所、约翰霍普金斯医院，但还是没能得到诊断。

I went to Mayo Clinic, Cleveland Clinic, Johns Hopkins, and I could not get a diagnosis.

只知道情况越来越糟。

Just knew that things were getting worse.

所以我不得不认真面对一个问题：这病会不会一直恶化下去，直到我死掉或者瘫痪？

And so I had to really come to grips with, will this just progress until I'm dead or paralyzed?

结果真的如此。

And it did.

有一天，你知道，我试着过正常的生活，因为找不到病因，我接受的治疗也没用，甚至还在美国证券交易所当交易员，试着拖着一条严重跛的腿穿过人群，因为大家都在交易大厅里成群结队地交易，我努力正常生活，忽略正在发生的事，直到有一天我醒来，发现自己站不起来了，那真是一个吓人的警钟。

One day, you know, tried to live a normal life because we couldn't find, I got treatments that didn't work, even working on the American Stock Exchange as a trader and trying to walk through crowds with a giant limp because everybody traded in groups on the floor, and I'm trying to just live life and ignore what's happening, you know, until one day I did wake up and I couldn't stand up, and that was a, you know, like a frightening wake up call.

最终，我们找到了能稳定病情的方法，但跛行一直没有好转，疼痛花了十五到二十年才慢慢减轻。

Eventually, we found something that could settle things down, but the limp never got better, took fifteen years or twenty years for the pain to get better.

为了做到这一点，我必须有意识地改变我的能量和心态，然后面对这个新的身体，这个疼痛的新身体，走路都困难，我到底是谁？

I had to consciously change my energy and my mindset to do that, and then there was this new body, this new painful body which, you know, had trouble walking, and who was I?

这正好契合了我那种“我很糟糕”的信念。

It really fit in well with this kind of belief of I'm bad.

这是我应得的。

I deserve this.

你知道，这很丑陋。

You know, this is ugly.

没有人会爱我。

No one will love me.

这些想法还是会冒出来。

It still comes up.

对吧？

Right?

但现在我有办法对自己说，你知道吗？

But now I have the tools to say, you know what?

不。

No.

那是另一个身份，另一个人。

That's a different identity, a different person.

这其实是一份礼物，而且情况在好转。

This is actually a gift, and it's getting better.

我可以释放那份痛苦。

I can release that pain.

有了这份礼物，我能做什么呢？

And with this gift, what can I do?

我学到了什么？

What have I learned?

我能用哪些智慧去帮助别人？

What is the wisdom that I can help others with?

正是通过那份痛苦，我得以超越，达到更高的境界。

Through that pain, I was able to transcend into something greater.

所以你是说，很多疗愈工作，因为没有太多外部帮助，大部分都是改变信念模式，也就是你今天要和我们分享的内容。

So you're saying that actually a lot of the healing work, because there wasn't so much external help, a lot of it was changing belief patterns and the work that you're sharing with us today.

是的，很多都是改变信念模式。

Yeah, it was a lot of changing belief patterns.

对。

Yeah.

甚至到了这种程度：如果我能想象并告诉我的身体去动，它就会动得更好。

Even to the point where if I could visualize and tell my body to move, it would move better.

我去看了一位催眠治疗师，大概十五年前纽约有一次大停电，什么都停了，我连两个街区都走不了。

I went to a hypnotherapist, there was a blackout in New York City maybe fifteen years ago, everything, and I couldn't walk two blocks.

我去看了催眠治疗师，我们差不多改变了我潜意识里的能力模式，一周后又有一次停电，我在三英里外，没有火车，没有公交，没有出租车，什么都没有。

I went to a hypnotherapist and we kind of changed the pattern of capability within my subconscious mind, and a week later, there was a blackout, and I was three miles away, no train, no buses, no cabs, no nothing.

我在办公室，他们正要关门，我就走回家，走了四个半小时才走完三英里，但我做到了。

I was in the office, and they were closing the office, and I walked home, and it took me four and a half hours to walk three miles, but I did it.

那真是太不可思议了。

It was pretty incredible.

所以我开始意识到，这里有两件事在起作用。

So I started to say, oh, there are two things at work here.

一个是身心连接，我们相信自己能做的，就能做到。

One is the mind body connection, what we believe we can do, we can do.

对。

Mhmm.

第二点就是我们是由能量构成的，还有某种更伟大的东西存在。

And the second is we are made of energy, and there's something greater.

我们不是我们的身体，我们是身体的觉知。

There's something we are not our bodies, we are the awareness of our bodies.

我们是意识的觉知，如果我能更多地连接到那个更高的自我，更多的意识觉知，那么我就能释放痛苦和苦难，因为我知道有某种比这更伟大的东西存在。

We are the conscious awareness, and if I can tap more into that higher self, that more of that conscious awareness, then I can release the pain and suffering because I know that there is something, you know, much greater than this.

当我能够做到这一点时，一些神奇的事情发生了。

And when I was able to do that, some miraculous things happened.

当我听到这样的故事时，它真的让我意识到我并没有意识到我的思想有多强大。

When I hear stories like that, it just, it actually makes me think about how much I don't realize how powerful my mind is.

是的。

Yeah.

我记得，我想，很早以前读到过威尔玛·鲁道夫的故事，她被告知基本上永远无法在没有当时那种支架的情况下走路。

I remember, I think, early on reading the story of Wilma Rudolph, who was told that she'd basically never walk without, at that time, those braces.

对。

Yeah.

然后她后来成了奥运冠军。

And then went on to become an Olympic champion.

没错。

Right.

然后还有

And then you've got

像这样的故事太多了。

So many stories like that.

是的。

Yeah.

还有斯蒂芬·霍金，显然就是《万物理论》里的那个，

And you've got Stephen Hawking obviously with The Theory of Everything and,

你

you

你知道吗，19岁时被告知大概六个月后就会死，结果却写出了史上最伟大的书之一，但他每分钟只能写四个字。

know, at 19 is told he's gonna pretty much die in six months and then writes one of the best books of all time, but he only wrote four words a minute.

对。

Right.

你想，哇，每分钟写四个字。

You think, wow, like wrote four words a minute.

是的。

Yeah.

想想那得有多大的耐心和毅力，而你的身体还在一点点垮掉。

Like the level of painstaking patience you'd have to have while your body's collapsing on itself.

但一切皆有可能。

But anything's possible.

听听你怎么看这个。

Tell me what you think about this.

我有个导师总对我说，你在痛苦中才会发现自己的潜力。

I had a mentor who'd always say to me, you'll discover your potential when you're in pain.

我总跟他说，不，我觉得我了解自己的潜力，我不需要更多痛苦。

And I'd always say to him, I'd like, no, I think I know my potential, like I don't need more pain.

然后我回想起自己经历很多痛苦的那些时刻。

And then I remember moments in my life where I've been through lots of pain.

对。

Yeah.

我就想，哇，我真的找到了一个自己都不知道存在的档位。

And I'm like, oh wow, I did find another gear that I didn't know existed.

不过这话很难对别人说，但也许当自己经历时，我们才能感受到。

It's hard though, it's hard to say that to someone else, but maybe we feel it when it's us.

说你需要痛苦，这有点不公平，

Unfair to say what, you need

你的痛苦？

your pain?

对，因为人们生活中会有很痛苦的经历。

Yeah, because people have crazy pain in their life.

我觉得我们不应该到处跟别人说这种话。

It's not something I think we should go around saying to other people.

我经常这么说。

I say it all the time.

我绝不会剥夺你的痛苦。

I would never rob you of your suffering.

我绝不会剥夺你的痛苦，因为很少有那种时刻，你躺在沙滩上读着一本好书，海浪轻轻拍打，却能有极大的个人成长。

I would never rob you of your pain because there is very few times that you were like on that beach reading a beautiful book while the waves were crashing softly that you had extreme personal growth.

那是你的恢复期，一切都是相对的。

That was your recovery period, and it's all relative.

你不必失去行走能力，才能真正体验痛苦。

You don't have to lose your ability to walk to really, you know, experience pain.

你的痛苦是你自己的，而且很大，所以问题是，我是在从痛苦中学习并释放它，还是因为我相信需要它来保护我而紧紧抓住它？

Your pain is your own, and it's big, and so the question is, you know, am I learning from this pain and releasing it, or am I holding it on because I have a belief that I need it to protect me some more?

所有的痛苦都是一种保护，对吧？

All pain is protection, Right?

所以当你释放它，当你从中学习，当你说我要带着它继续前进，你就会变得强大得多。

So when you release it, when you learn from it, when you say I'm gonna take it and move forward, you become so much more powerful.

它是你成长的入口。

It's the doorway to your growth.

恐惧、苦难、痛苦，它们真的是很有用的工具。所以我会真的对人们这么说，而且我确实会用在客户和辅导的人身上。

Fear, suffering, pain, they're really useful tools, And so I would actually say that to people, and I actually use that with my clients, with my co people I coach.

我会让他们去感受痛苦。

I get them to feel the pain.

我会说，如果这个问题，不管你现在感受到什么，我希望你把它放大到一年后、两年后、三年后，再到五年后和十年后。

I I will say, what if this issue, whatever you're feeling, I want you to amplify it one year out, two years out, three years out, now five years out and ten years out.

现在它变得那么大、那么强烈、那么糟糕，然后我希望你全部释放掉，回到当下，难道你不庆幸它没有发生吗？

Now it's so big, so bold, so bad, and now I want you to release it all, right, and come back to this present moment, and aren't you so grateful that it didn't happen?

那么你今天能采取什么行动呢？

So what actions can you take today?

我们怎样才能调整心态，让你在事情真的变得那么糟之前就释放它？

How can we move the mindset so that you can release that before it actually gets that bad?

这也是让我变得更好的原因。

And that's what got me to get better as well.

你是催眠的实践者，你也谈到自我催眠。

You're a practitioner of hypnosis, and you also talk about self hypnosis.

我觉得我们对催眠的理解，很遗憾，被电影影响得太深了。

I feel like our understanding of hypnosis is sadly so mired by movies.

我们只会想到魔术师、幻术师，还有那些为了炫耀把戏而表演的人。

And we just think of magicians and illusionists and people who do it to show off their tricks.

但你能跟我们讲讲催眠到底是什么，以及自我催眠是怎么运作的吗？

But can you talk to us about what hypnosis actually is and then how self hypnosis works?

作为教练，这也是我工具箱里的一个工具，作为企业家也一样，对吧？

So as a coach, that's a tool in my toolbox as an entrepreneur as well, right?

所以这里有一条微妙的界线，就是如何建立一个事业，作为一个教练和引导者，帮助人们过上更好的生活。

So there's this fine line between how do I build a business as as someone who coaches and leads people to a better way of life.

所以其中一部分是，我会教人们如何让自己进入一种催眠状态，绕过他们的批判性思维，这样他们就能以不同的方式重新审视故事和经历，让自己获得突破，或者我会引导他们完成这个过程。

And so part of that is I'll teach people how to put themselves into a state of trance that bypasses their critical mind so that they can revisit stories and experiences in a different way and allow themselves to have breakthroughs, or I lead people through it.

但你自己做也完全可以。

But you can do it just as easily yourself.

我之前举过那个时间线的例子。

I I gave that example before of how I did that timeline.

我问了我的潜意识一些问题。

I asked my subconscious questions.

潜意识很喜欢回答。

Subconscious loves to answer.

不管出现什么，相信它，脑海里的画面，冒出来的话语，它会指引方向。

Whatever comes up, believe it, the image in your mind, the words that come up, and it leads the path.

这是因为我们的思维处于某种频率，也就是脑电波，而那种能让我们放松、接受暗示的脑电波频率是θ波状态。催眠的作用就是通过让意识和批判性思维混乱，让我们放松下来，进入θ波状态。所以那些台上的人看起来像睡着了，我也睡着了，但你知道，那不是我的做法。

It's because our main our mind is in frequency, brain waves, and so the frequency of brain waves that is relaxation and allows us to take suggestion is the theta brainwave state, and what hypnosis does, it allows us to relax by confusing the conscious and the the critical mind into a theta brainwave state, and so those guys up on stage that are like, kind of sleep, and I fall asleep, and, you know, that's not what I do.

我不认为那在临床上算是一种状态，但我做的是渐进式放松，你仍然非常清醒，想睁开眼睛随时可以，但足够放松，让我能和你的潜意识对话，或者训练你自己做到这一点，从而释放生活中一直存在的模式，重新定义恐惧，让你以不同的方式体验事物。

I don't think that's clinically, you know, a thing, but what I do is a progressive relaxation so that you're still very much, you could just open your eyes if you wanted to, but relaxed enough where I can speak to your subconscious mind or train you to do it so that you can release patterns that have been happening in your life, so you can reframe fears, so that you can experience things differently.

想象一个非常黄的柠檬。

Think of a really yellow lemon.

你能看到吗？

Can you see it?

想象一下，做

Imagine Do

我要闭上眼睛吗？

wanna close my eyes or no?

不需要。

Don't need to.

好的。

Okay.

我能想象一个非常黄的柠檬。

I of can a really yellow lemon.

那你脑海里有没有它的画面？

And do you see an image of it in

你的脑海里？

your mind?

所以这就是最新鲜、最大、最多汁的柠檬。

And so this is the freshest, biggest, juiciest lemon.

对。

Mhmm.

然后你甚至可以想象一下，把它凑到鼻子前闻，那种柑橘的香气，对吧。所以他们就有这么一个大大的、多汁的、充满柑橘香的黄色柠檬。

And then you can even imagine kind of how citrusy that smells when you put it up, right, and so they had this big, juicy, citrusy, yellow lemon.

现在，我想让你想象一把刀，因为我们要把它切成两半，果汁已经从柠檬里流出来了，超级酸的果汁，因为这就像最大的，你知道的，加州柠檬，然后现在我们有一个玻璃杯，你甚至可以看到、想象或设想那个玻璃杯，我正在把那个黄色的、柑橘香的、酸的柠檬汁挤进玻璃杯里，现在它就像一杯很高的柠檬汁，是最酸、最漂亮、最有柑橘香、最成熟的柠檬汁，现在想象、设想、感受它，我要请你喝下这杯柠檬汁，感受它进入你的嘴里，你的嘴里是不是在流口水？

Now, I want you to picture a knife because we're gonna cut it in half, and the juices are already flowing out of this lemon, it's super sour juices, because this is like the biggest, you know, California is the lemon, and so now we have a glass, and you can even see, visualize, or imagine that glass, and I'm squeezing that yellow citrusy sour lemon juice into the glass, and now it's like very tall glass of lemon juice, and the most sour, beautiful, citrusy, ripe lemon juice possible, and now imagine, visualize, feel it, I'm gonna ask you to drink this lemon juice, and feel it coming into your mouth, Is your mouth watering?

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

你感觉到了吗？

Do you feel it?

是的。

Yeah.

当然。

Absolutely.

所以，如果想象一杯柠檬汁就能有这样的反应，

And so if that's happening with an imaginary glass of lemon juice

对。

Yeah.

想象一下，当我们再深入一点的时候，会有多强大。

Just imagine what's powerful when we go a little bit deeper.

对。

Yeah.

这很好。

That's good.

对。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

我真的感觉我刚刚喝了柠檬汁。

I fully feel like I just drank lemon juice.

真的，完全有这种感觉。

Like, fully.

我现在就想喝一杯。

Like, I I want some now.

所以想象一下，当我们进入你的潜意识，让它去体验一些东西时，会发生什么，因为它其实分不清幻想、暗示和真实发生的事情。

So imagine what's possible when we get into your subconscious mind and allow it to experience something because it can't really tell the difference between fantasy and suggestion and what's actually happening.

事实上，我们整天都在给潜意识灌输各种幻想和暗示，而这些可能对我们并没有好处。

And in fact, we feed it all sorts of fantasy and suggestion all day long that may not be beneficial to us.

所以当我们深入进去做这件事时，我们就能改变，而θ波状态可能通向γ波状态，那是一种非常神秘的体验，也许那就是我们与量子世界的连接、门户和桥梁。

So when we go in and we do this, we can change, and the theta state could lead to a gamma state, which is a very mystical experience, which is maybe our connection, our doorway, the bridge to the quantum itself.

我们到底在给大脑灌输什么有害的东西？

What are we feeding our minds that is actually detrimental?

因为你刚才说，我们可以潜意识地回到那些地方，释放一些东西，但实际上，我们在潜意识里做的，是在给大脑灌输各种并没有帮助的东西。

Because what you just said is we can subconsciously go back to these places, release things, but really what we're doing subconsciously is feeding our mind with all sorts of stuff that isn't actually helping.

对。

Yeah.

当我们跟随每一个想法、每一个恐惧时，记得我们说过，恐惧在掌控我们的生活。

When we follow every thought we have, every fear we have, remember we talked about like fear is running our lives.

那么，你会跟随每一个恐惧吗？

And so do you follow every fear?

你会跟随每一个想法吗？

Do you follow every thought?

你关注的是你想要的结果，还是不想要的结果？

Are you focusing on the outcomes that you want or the outcomes that you don't want?

大多数人会专注于如何防范不想要的结果。

Most of us will focus on how do we protect against the outcome that we don't want.

我不想失败。

I don't wanna I don't wanna fail.

我不想在约别人时被拒绝，而不是去想象如果他们答应，我们有一段美好恋情的美好体验。

I don't wanna be rejected when I ask someone on a date instead of focusing on imagine this beautiful experience if they say yes and we, you know, have a romance.

对。

Mhmm.

对吧？

Right?

所以我们不断给自己灌输恐惧，而这些恐惧就成了我们脑海中关于可能发生之事的暗示。

And so we feed ourselves the fears, and those fears become suggestions into our mind of what's possible to happen.

对吧？

Right?

所以我们一直在给这个极易受暗示的大脑编程。

And so we're programming our highly suggestible mind all the time.

我们可以通过觉察和放松的时刻来停止或对抗这种状态，从而回到当下并释放这些恐惧。

We can simply stop that or fight against it by moments of awareness and then relaxation so that we can go back and release.

我以前有个客户，我们随时都能做到这一点，效果非常强大。

There was a man I worked with, we can do this at any time, it's so powerful.

他当时80岁了。

He was 80 years old.

他从越南回来后就再没看过医生。

He hadn't been to a doctor since he was in Vietnam.

已经过去好几十年了。

It had been many decades.

他特别害怕医生。

He was so afraid of a doctor.

我一开始不明白为什么，但见到他时，他膝盖问题一大堆，生活质量很差，他女儿请我帮忙。在一次治疗中，我们带他回到一个非常平静的地方，他感觉他去世多年的哥哥出现了。我让他跟哥哥说话，从中获得一些启发和支持，他感受到了哥哥浓浓的爱和支持，至于那是不是真的，谁知道呢？

I couldn't figure out why, but when I saw him, because he had all sorts of problems with his knees and his quality of life was really bad, his daughter asked me to help, and in one session, we were able to take him back to a place that was so peaceful that he had an experience with his brother showing up, who had died many years before, and I asked him to speak with his brother and get some inspiration and some support, and he felt this loving support so much so from his brother, whether it's who knows?

也许他哥哥的能量真的来了，也许有我们看不见的东西存在。

Maybe the energy of his brother did come, Maybe there's more than we can possibly see.

也许只是他自己的想象，他能够给自己暗示，告诉自己有人支持他、爱他，而我也在强化这一点。

Maybe it was his own imagination, and he was able to program and suggest that he was supported and loved, and I fostered that.

不管是什么，他有了这样的体验，当这些情绪浮现出来时，我问他：你对医生的恐惧是什么？

Whatever it was, he had this experience, and then through this experience, when it came up and out, and I said, what's your fear of the doctor?

一点都没有了。

Zero.

他去看医生了，膝盖打了针，做了全面检查，他女儿给我写信说，简直太神奇了，对医生一点恐惧都没有了。

He went to the doctor, he got needles in his knees, he got a full checkup, his daughter wrote me, it's absolutely amazing, zero fear of the doctor.

我们可以随时重新想象、重新体验，给潜意识讲不同的故事。

We re reimagine and re experience and tell different stories to our subconscious mind at any time.

这样一来，我们的生活就会发生巨大的变化。

And with that, our life changes so dramatically.

知道永远不会太晚，这真好，因为我觉得我们都有一种感觉，比如，哦，我现在30了，40了，50了，60了，70了，现在对我来说太晚了。

It's good to know that you're never too late because I feel like there's a sense we all have of like, oh, well I'm 30 now, I'm 40 now, I'm 50 now, I'm 60 now, I'm 70 now and now it's too late for me.

好像我现在已经定型了。

Like now I'm set in my ways.

我们也总是这么说，老狗学不会新把戏。

We always say that as well, can't teach an old dog new tricks.

对。

Yes.

这些想法就一直留着，当然，我猜如果你长期以某种方式生活，改变可能会更难。

And those ideas just stay and of course it can be harder I assume when you've lived in a certain way for a long time.

对。

Mhmm.

当一个人有恐惧或焦虑的想法时，他们应该怎么做？

When someone's having a fearful or an anxious thought, what should they do?

不要跟着它走。

Don't follow it.

对吧？

Right?

一旦你发现自己陷入这种恶性循环，你可以直接对自己说“不”，把自己拉出来。

As soon as you catch yourself in this spiral, or this vicious circle, you can literally snap yourself out of it by saying no.

我就是这么做的，打个响指，然后说“不”。

That's what I do, a snap and no.

有两种情况，一种是我有难以摆脱的反复思考，我知道它们对我没有帮助，另一种是恐慌。

There's two different there's one, I'm having ruminating thoughts that are difficult, I know they're not helping me, and then there's like panic.

所以对于反复思考，很难，而且对我没有帮助，比如我走在街上，绊了一下，我会想，这腿，然后我站起来，精神振奋，说“不”。

So ruminating thoughts, difficult, and helping me, like, I'll walk down the street, I'll stumble, and I'll be like, these legs, this I'll get up psyched, and I'll say, nope.

你做得很好。

You're doing great.

我真的会说，不。

I'd literally say, nope.

我会打个响指，然后说，谢谢你一直支撑着我。

I'll snap, and then I'll say, thank you so much for carrying me.

谢谢你做好你的本职工作。

Thank you so much for doing your job.

你做得很好。

You're doing great.

每次我把自己拉回来，那就是在应对反复出现的念头。

And every time I snap myself out of it, that's the ruminating thought.

如果你已经陷入恐慌，那我们就得跟身体对话了，因为大脑已经关闭了，身体会说，好，我收到信号了，我来接管。

Now if you've gotten yourself into panic, then we need to actually speak to the body because the mind is now shut off and the body's like, okay, I got the signal, I'm taking over.

我们能做到这一点的方法之一就是呼吸。

The way that we can do this is just by one, the breath.

好，我在呼吸吗？

Okay, am I breathing?

我总说，如果你专注于呼吸，你能做到吗？

And I always say this, if you focus on your breath, can you focus on your breath?

我想知道你能不能专注于呼吸，你问自己，我想知道你能不能专注于呼吸，然后突然，是的，我能感觉到它在我的鼻孔上。

I wonder if you can focus on your breath, and you ask yourself, I wonder if you can focus on your breath, and all of a sudden, yeah, I can feel it on my nostrils.

好。

Okay.

现在，联想。

Now association.

如果我对你说，你还记得小时候和朋友笑得那么厉害，以至于有人从鼻子或嘴里喷出东西来，是不是已经开始笑了？

If I was to say to you, can you remember a time when you were a child that you laughed with a friend so hard that someone spit something out of their nose or mouth, and it's like already you start to laugh.

所以你说，房间里有什么联想？

So you say, what's the association around the room?

找到让你最开心的颜色，我发现你身后有这种绿色。

Find the color that makes you happiest the most, and I found this green color behind you.

这样就能在三十秒内让你摆脱恐慌。

And that will get you out of a panic in thirty seconds.

本期节目由亚马逊健康赞助播出。

This episode is brought to you by Amazon Health.

在播客继续之前，我需要你填写37份关于你收听历史的表格。

Before this podcast continues, I need you to fill out 37 forms about your listening history.

我等着。

I'll wait.

算了。

Forget it.

那也太离谱了。

That would be ridiculous.

对，每次需要医疗保健的时候我们都得这么做。

Yeah, we all do it every time we need health care.

但新的亚马逊健康AI不一样。

But the new Amazon Health AI is different.

它能把你的症状和病史联系起来，全天候提供个性化护理。

It can connect your symptoms with your medical history to offer personalized care 20 fourseven.

亚马逊健康AI来了。

Amazon Health AI is here.

医疗保健变得更轻松了。

Healthcare just got less painful.

我喜欢这个“不”，因为它简单、可行、容易、能实现、好记，而且你说得对，因为走那条路你不会得到任何好处。

I like the no because it's simple and it's doable and it's easy and it's achievable and it's memorable and it's and you're right because you're not gonna gain anything from going down that lane.

没错。

Correct.

当你的大脑好像要推翻这个“不”的时候，你会怎么做？

What do you do when your mind feels like it railroads that no?

对，会跟它对抗。

Right, fights against it.

是的，会跟它对抗。

Yeah, fights against it.

对，就是跟它对抗，下一秒又来了。

Yeah, fights against against it, right that next second

对，又来了。

it Yeah, comes

是的。

yeah.

有时候要反复三四次，对吧？

Sometimes it takes three or four times, Right?

有时候你得反击回去。

And sometimes you have to fight back.

嗯。

Mhmm.

它又冒出来了，或者你会想，好吧，我不会因为他们没立刻回我消息就生气。

It comes up again, or you're like, okay, I'm not gonna get upset when they don't text me back immediately.

我不会因为他们回了或者没回就生气，然后你开始看手机，心里想，他们回了吗？

I'm not gonna be upset if they do text me back or they don't do it, and then you start to check your phone, and it's like, have they text back?

你会不停地看手机，或者分手后反复琢磨他们做了什么、为什么这么做、他们会不会回来、现在和谁在一起，有时候需要不止一次尝试。

And you're constantly looking, or you've had that breakup and you're ruminating over and over again about what they did, why they did it, will they come back, who are they with now, and sometimes it takes more than one try.

你首先得说，天哪，我的大脑，我太爱你了。

And you just have to first say, oh my god, mind, I love you so much.

谢谢你。

Thank you.

我不再需要这种保护了。

I no longer need this protection.

我不再需要反复思考他们为什么那样做或者他们和谁在一起，这种无休止的循环，我现在要放你走了。

I can no longer spin the algorithm that never ends of why they did what they did or who they're with, and I'm gonna release you now.

然后当它再次出现，数着五、四、三、二、一，不。

And then when it comes up and says five, four, three, two, one, no.

放下它，有时候这需要一点坚持。

Release it, and then sometimes it takes a little persistence with that.

我喜欢你说的，有时候你得在不在那种情况下的时候练习。

I like what you're saying there is sometimes you have to practice when you're not in that position.

预先设定模式。

Pre patterning.

对，没错。

Yeah, exactly.

对，我觉得这得在你走到街上腿开始疼之前就准备好，因为你知道那会发生。

Yeah, I feel like it has to happen before you end up walking down the street and your legs hurt because you know that's gonna happen.

所以为什么不提前计划呢？

And so why not plan before?

我记得我去跳伞的时候，只去过一次，但那次他们把我们带进一个练习舱，你和你的教练在一起，他们会带你一步步走完整个过程。

I remember when I went skydiving, I've only been once, but when I went skydiving, they took us into this practice chamber where you're with your guide and they're walking you through every step of what's gonna happen.

是的。

Yeah.

他们会说，我们准备站起来，门会打开。

They're like, we're gonna get up, the door is gonna open.

我要你抬头看。

I want you to look up.

我希望你把腿勾在我的腿后面。

I want you to hook your legs behind mine.

是的。

Yes.

你的脸会，你知道，被风吹得变形。

Your face is gonna, you know, be expanded.

就像，你知道，空气会那样，当他们把所有细节都过了一遍之后，真正发生的时候，就像一次彩排。

Like, you know, the air is gonna and it's like when they've gone through all the micro details of it, now when it happens in reality, it's a dress rehearsal.

对。

Right.

你已经准备好了。

And you're ready for it.

我觉得有时候我们对焦虑感到非常意外。

And I feel like sometimes with our anxiety, we're almost so surprised by it.

而我们每天经历的大部分焦虑其实都是重复的。

When the majority of our anxiety that we're having on a daily basis is somewhat repetitive.

我们的恐惧是有些重复的。

Our fears are somewhat repetitive.

每次你在团队会议上开口时，它们都在；每次你准备在伴侣下班回家后告诉他们一些事情时，它们也在；或者早上你快要被孩子惹恼时，它们也在。

They're They're there every time you open your mouth in a team meeting or they're there every time you're about to tell your partner something when they get home from work or they're there when you're about to like maybe get frustrated by the kids in the morning.

对吧？

Right?

就像，它非常具体，也非常清楚，我们的重复性恐惧在哪里，或者每次你的公婆说些什么，或者无论对你来说是什么情况。

It's like, it's very specific and it's very clear where our repetitive or every time your in laws say something or whatever it may be for you.

我在想昨天读的一个客户案例。

I was thinking about a client that was reading yesterday.

总是同样的事情，但感觉我们对生活中反复发生的事情准备不足。

It's always the same things, but it feels like we're less prepared for the same things that keep happening in our life.

是的，那些触发点。

Yeah, those triggers.

我喜欢这个观点，而且这是每个人都应该做的事情。

I love that idea and and something that everybody should do.

关键在于专注于你想要的结果，意思是当这种情况发生时，比如我妻子回家，批评什么东西乱七八糟的，然后你专注于你的回应。

It's focusing on the outcome that you want, meaning when this happens, you know, my wife comes home and, you know, criticizes something that is a mess or whatever it is, and you focus on your response.

你专注于如何以一种非常美好、充满爱意的方式去回应，不让自我说“别告诉我”，而这种预先设定和练习真的非常重要，我很喜欢这一点。

You focus on how you do it in a really beautiful, loving way that doesn't allow the ego to say, don't tell me, and that pre patterning, that practice is really essential, I love that.

我们的触发点能告诉我们关于自己的什么？

What do our triggers tell us about ourselves?

它告诉我们我们的伤痛在哪里，真的，它告诉我们自我在执着于什么，或者我们的伤痛在哪里，以及那些我们还需要疗愈的东西，或者可能是我们的阴影，所以触发点真的是我喜欢去审视的那些东西。

It tells us where our wounds are, you know, it really tells us what our ego is holding onto, or where our wounds are, and those things that we still have left to heal or that may be our shadows, and so triggers are really those things that I love to look at.

我们来谈谈你在《可能性之书》中提到的四种核心创伤。

Let's talk about the four core wounds that you talk about in the Book of Possibility.

好的。

Mhmm.

因为我觉得它们很清晰，我们经常在个人成长中听到“创伤”这个词，但它感觉相当模糊。

Because I felt they mapped out, often we hear this word wounds in personal growth, but it feels quite vague.

对。

Right.

我很喜欢你把它拆解开来，讲得这么简单易懂。

I love the way you broke it down and made it simple for us.

那四个核心创伤是什么？跟我们说说我们怎么意识到它们，又怎么去面对它们。

What are the four core wounds and talk to us about how we become aware of them and how we address them.

这四个核心创伤，都是我们小时候留下的。

The four core wounds, these are wounds that we got from childhood.

它们是童年创伤，有被抛弃的创伤，有内疚的创伤，我自己就有这种内疚创伤。

There are childhood wounds, and so we have the abandonment wound, we have the guilt wound, that's the one that I have, this guilt wound.

通常，内疚创伤来自父母对待你的方式。

Usually, guilt wound comes from how your parents treated you.

如果你小时候受过某种虐待，或者你有一个特别暴躁的父亲，或者身体上、情感上，不管是什么虐待，作为孩子，你真的无法理解他们为什么这么做，对吧，这些人，所以你一定会觉得是自己的错，而今天这表现为，你总是会问别人：你生我的气了吗？

If you were abused in some way or if if you had a really angry father or a physical, emotional, whatever abuse it was, as a child, you really can't understand why they're doing it, right, these people, so you must think that it was me, and how that manifests in today, you're always wondering, asking someone, are you mad at me?

我说错什么了吗？

Did I say something?

或者有人没回你短信，或者他们说了什么，你就会想，天哪，肯定是我做错了什么。

Or someone doesn't text you back or they say something and they're like, oh god, it must have been me.

我一定是做错了什么。

I must have done something wrong.

还有信任创伤和被忽视的创伤。

We have the trust wound and we have neglect.

这些都是童年时期的创伤。

These wounds from childhood.

所以信任创伤会导致你无法对别人敞开心扉。

So trust will result in an inability to be vulnerable with someone.

随着年龄增长，我们变得非常多疑，不让任何人靠近，而被忽视的创伤常常会带来一种依赖感，在关系中表现出焦虑和不安，这些阴影会一直伴随我们到成年，其实这仍然是内在的小孩，那个七岁的你还在你心里运行着这些模式。

As we grow older, we're very skeptical, we don't allow anybody in, and neglect often creates this neediness, this attached and anxious anxiety in relationships or other ways, and we carry these through as our shadows into our adult life, and really this still an inner child, it's still your seven year old self living within you running the program.

你知道吗，有趣的是，我敢肯定你也有同感，吉姆，我每年都在做自我成长的工作，和我的客户在线，和全世界的人一起。

You know what's fascinating is that, and I'm sure you feel this way too, Jim, it's like every year I keep doing this work on myself with my clients online with the world.

是的。

Yeah.

我越做越意识到这项工作有多重要。

The more I realize how much the work is important.

非常重要。

So important.

我并没有随着年龄增长觉得已经做完了这些功课，它就不重要了。

I'm not growing older and feeling like I've done the work and it's less important.

我反而越来越觉得，这才是最重要的。

I'm growing older and constantly feeling like this is all that matters.

对。

Right.

不管我看朋友、看自己、看家人，我都发现这四种核心创伤就是人们整个生活的操作系统。

And whether I look at friends, I look at myself, I look at family, I find that these four core wounds are the operating system of people's entire lives.

是的。

Yes.

这也是为什么人们的人际关系、友谊、事业或者其他方面无法顺利，因为总有一些东西反复浮现出来。

And it's the reason why people aren't having great connections in their relationships or great friendships or great careers or whatever it may be is because there's something here that just keeps coming back up.

你怎么才能意识到自己属于哪一种呢？

How do you become aware of which one you have?

是不是就像听你刚才说的，然后说，哦，我就是那个？

Is it as simply as listening to what you just said and saying, oh, that's the one I have?

然后我该怎么办呢？

And then what do I do about it?

在书里，我们有一个图表，我们提供了所有信息，你真的可以找到共鸣，对吧？

In the book, go through, and we have a chart, and we give all the information, you can really identify with, that speaks to me, right?

很多时候我们开始说，哦，好的，我识别出了这个创伤，它很大，很开放，很痛苦，在流血，然后我们开始说，好的，我如何问我的潜意识，通过写日记、引导式可视化、自我催眠，找到那个孩子，因为他们就在那里，当你想象他们时，我做这种催眠冥想，把人带回他们的内在小孩，我们在家庭住宅里找到他们，我们说那个孩子感觉怎么样，当我们看到那个时，我们说好的，那个孩子现在需要什么，却没有得到？

And so often we start to say, oh, okay, I've identified this wound, and it's big, it's open, it's painful, it's bleeding, and then we start to say, okay, how do I ask my subconscious mind and go back through journaling, through guided visualization, through self hypnosis, and find that child, because they're in there, and when you visualize them, I do this hypno meditation that brings people back to their inner child, and we find them in the family home, and we say what's that child feeling, and when we see that, we say okay, what does that child need that it's not getting now?

我们允许自己实时可视化、看到或想象给予那个孩子它需要的东西，对吧？

And we allow ourselves in real time to visualize, see, or imagine giving that child what it needs, right?

所以很多时候人们会说，它需要接纳，它需要爱，因为我们生创伤的气。

And so oftentimes people will say, it needs acceptance, It needs love because we're mad at the wound.

对吧？

Right?

而不是说，哦，这个创伤，你知道，试图保护我们，试图以某种方式服务我们，它存在是有原因的。

Instead of saying, oh, this wound is, you know, trying to protect us, trying to serve us in some way, it's there for a reason.

相反，当我们说，好吧，我接受它。

Instead, when we say, okay, I accept it.

我爱它，现在如果我拥抱它，我该如何建立足够的意识，让我知道它不再关乎我，我可以超越它，所以伤口会变得越来越小，越来越小，所以如果有人触发它，它可能仍然会爆发，但你可以说，哦，好吧，那只是我内心的孩子，你知道，把手放在你的心脏和胃上，你知道，接受并我爱你，我们在一起，好吧，让我们做呼吸练习，然后继续前进，它就不再是个问题，我们开始解除那个模式，然后我们放入一个新的，总是，你知道，无论是内在小孩工作还是戒烟，还是像接受和建立自我价值和爱，你总是会替换。

I love it, and now if I embrace it, how do I build awareness of it enough that, you know, I know that it's not about me anymore, that I can move beyond it, and so the wound gets smaller and smaller and smaller, so if someone triggers it, it may still flare up, but you can say, oh, okay, that's just the inner child in me, you know, put your hand on your heart and your stomach, you know, accept and I love you, and we're in this together, and okay, let's do some breathing and move on, and it becomes less of an issue, and we start to deprogram that pattern, and then we put in a new one, always, you know, whether it's inner child work or smoking, or love like acceptance and building self worth and love, you'll always replace.

戒烟，用水代替。

Smoking, it's with water.

对于这个，你用你正在步入的图景和愿景来替换那个想法。

With this, you replace that thought with an image and a vision of what you're stepping into.

对。

Mhmm.

所以你想象内在小孩真的很开心，然后作为你的可视化，你步入的成功是成年人。

So you visualize the inner child really happy, and then the adult as your visualization, what you step into is successful.

充满爱的关系，工作，无论是什么，都进展顺利，你与那些环境中的人的关系，然后你说出支持它的肯定语。

The loving relationship, the job, whichever it is, it going really well, your relationships with the people within those settings, and then you say the affirmations that support it.

我是完整的，我是完整的，我是自信的，我是可爱的，无论那一刻是什么。

I am whole, I am complete, I am confident, I am lovable, whatever it is in that moment.

我们在寻找爱情时，最大的错误是什么？

What's the biggest mistake we make when we're looking for love?

我们总是向外看。

We focus out.

总是这样。

It's always that.

对。

Yeah.

然后还会问，我要怎么做才能让他们爱我？

And questioning, what do I need to do to make them love me?

我要变成什么样才能让他们爱我？

Who do I need to be to make them love me?

而不是把全部的接纳放在自己身上。

Instead of focusing total acceptance on yourself.

反正我自己就是这么做的。

That's what I had to do anyway.

跟我详细说说。

Walk me through that.

我当时并没有完全接纳自己本来的样子。

I didn't accept myself exactly the way I was.

我觉得自己有些地方有问题，所以在寻找爱情时，我几乎是在寻找一个能认可我的人。

I thought that I was broken in some way, and when I would look for love, I would look almost for someone to validate me.

所以我会在外面找到一个人，他们的爱能让我感到被认可，直到我再也无法接受这种状态，然后那段关系就结束了。

So I would find someone out here, their love would validate me until I couldn't accept that anymore, and then that relationship would be over.

所以我觉得，寻找爱情最大的问题，不是首先完全接纳并爱自己。

And so the biggest issue in finding love I think is not first completely accepting and loving yourself.

我喜欢这个回答。

I love that answer.

我觉得我们害怕接纳自己，是因为我们觉得自己要么太过分，要么不够好。

I think we're scared of accepting ourselves because we think we're too much or not enough.

因为我们觉得自己想要的东西太大，或者感觉自己太渺小。

Because we think we want something too big or we feel too small.

是的。

Yeah.

或者我们觉得没有人能达到我们的期望，或者我们达不到别人的期望。

Or we feel no one will live up to our expectations or we won't live up to someone else's.

嗯。

Mhmm.

所以我们觉得我们不想接受自己，因为那很可怕。

And so I feel like we don't wanna accept who we are because it's quite scary.

对。

Right.

说‘如果我最终孤独终老怎么办’是很脆弱的。

It's quite vulnerable to say, well, what if I end up alone?

因为我不是，我要么太多，要么不够。

Because I'm not I'm either too much or not enough.

我要么很棒，要么觉得自己一文不值，要么期望太高，要么期望太低，或者不管怎样。

I'm either amazing or I feel worthless or I'm either expecting too much or expecting too little or whatever it may be.

就像你刚才说的那样，我当时就想，哇。

Like, even when you said that, was like, wow.

我很喜欢这个答案，而且我也相信它是真的。

Like, I I love the answer, but I and and I and I believe it to be true.

但我还是会问，怎么会呢？

But I go, how?

因为那真的可能吗？

Because is that even possible?

我之所以问是否可能，是因为我们大多数人都会想，如果我接受自己，那余生就要一个人过了。

Reason I'm saying is it possible is because most of us will think, well I'm gonna be alone for the rest of my life if I accept who I am.

很多人来找我聊这个，尤其是年纪大一些的时候，他们会说，你看，我现在离婚了，我该怎么办，为什么这些事情会发生，或者我还没找到对的人，还会不会遇到，所以当我们真的去审视自己，发现自己要么不够好，就像你说的，要么太过头了，我们就得问自己，这是真的吗？

A lot of people come to me about this, especially in the later years when they say, you know, now I've been divorced and what do I do, and why is this stuff happening, or I haven't found the one and will it ever happen, and so when we do look in and say either not enough, like you said, or I'm too much, we have to say, is that true?

所以如果我意识到这一点，并且把这种意识带到那个信念上，我们就会说，好。

And so if I'm aware of that and I bring my conscious awareness to that belief, we say, okay.

让我们来看看这个信念。

Let's take that belief.

首先，这个信念是谁的？

First of all, who is the belief?

是我吗？

Is it me?

不是。

No.

我能认出它。

I can identify it.

我能专注于它，因此，我的意识知道这个信念不是我，它也不在我心里。

I can focus on it, and therefore, my conscious awareness that the belief isn't me, and the belief doesn't live inside me.

我无法打开我的心去找到它。

I can't open up my heart to find that.

那它只是一个信念。

Then it is just a belief.

所以如果我们这样看，这个信念是真的吗？

And so if we look at that, is the belief true?

也许吧。

Maybe.

它是百分之百真实的吗？

Is it a 100% true?

它总是真实的吗？

Is it always true?

不是。

No.

你知道，这是一个不是我创造的框架，对吧，但它非常强大。

You know, this is a, yeah, a framework that I didn't create, right, but it's so powerful.

很好。

It's good.

再说一遍。

Repeat that.

关键在于质疑。

It's all about questioning.

这是我本身，还是只是一个信念？

Is this me or is this a belief?

对吧？

Right?

如果我能把意识放在它上面，那就说明它不是我。

If I can put my conscious awareness on it, that means that it is not me.

对吧？

Right?

就像这个麦克风不是我，椅子也不是我，我意识到我是更高层次的自我，所以那只是一个信念。

Same as this microphone is not me, same as the chair is not me, I realize I'm the higher self, So it's a belief.

这个信念并不存在于我的器官里。

The belief doesn't live within my organs.

我不能剖开我的心脏把它取出来。

I can't cut open my heart and extract it.

所以，它只是一种情绪和感受。

Therefore, it is just an emotion and a feeling.