金·卡戴珊谈：如何应对育儿中的艰难时刻以及如何重新学会去爱

我所有的朋友都会放下手头的事情来帮我。

All of my friends would drop everything to help me in a situation.

能有这样真正的支持和爱，我觉得就是人生中最重要的。

And to have that real support and love, I think is everything in life.

身边有忠诚、支持你的人。

To have loyal, supportive people around you.

而且我觉得，一个人能维持长久的关系，也能说明很多。

And I think you can also tell so much about a person that has really longstanding relationships.

那种稳定性。

That stability.

我招人的时候，会看他们之前的工作，看他们和同事、雇主的关系维持了多久。如果一个人频繁跳槽，当然也可能有其他原因，但我特别看重那些能和别人保持长久关系的人，不管是和雇主还是家人。对我来说，朋友之间都有重要的关系，这非常重要。

When I look to hire people, I look at their previous jobs and how long they've had those relationships for and think about it, if there's someone that's bouncing from job to job, obviously there could be other situations that come into place, but I value people that have these longstanding relationships with people, whether it's their employer or family, and that's super important to me to have all my friends have really important relationships in their life

本期节目由 Eight Sleep 赞助播出。

This episode is brought to you by Eight Sleep.

我以前有一张旧床垫，不太舒服。

I once had an old mattress that wasn't the best.

那床真的太不舒服了，我发誓醒来的时候比上床睡觉时还累。

It was so uncomfortable, I swear I woke up feeling more tired than when I went to bed.

更糟糕的是，它还特别闷热，晚上睡觉感觉又热又憋得慌。

To make matters worse, it seemed to trap heat, making me feel hot and stuffy at night.

你知道吗，温度是提高睡眠质量最重要的因素之一。

Did you know that temperature is one of the most important factors in improving your sleep quality?

如果你半夜醒来，或者早上感觉特别昏沉，那几乎都是温度的问题。

When you wake up in the middle of the night or feel extra groggy in the morning, temperature is almost always to blame.

为什么？

Why?

因为传统床垫会整晚憋着热气，而科学研究表明，你的体温其实需要在入睡后和睡眠中期下降，到了早晨再升高，这样才能快速入睡并获得更多深度睡眠。

While traditional mattresses trap heat throughout the night, science has shown that your body temperature actually needs to drop in the early and middle part of your sleep and rise in the morning, so that you can fall asleep fast and get more deep sleep.

Eight Sleep的Pod Cover像床单一样铺在任何床上。

The Pod Cover by Eight Sleep fits on any bed like a fitted sheet.

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The Pod Cover will improve your sleep by automatically adjusting the temperature on each side of the bed based on you and your partner's individual needs.

它可以降温也可以升温，并根据你的睡眠阶段和你所处的环境自动调节。

It can cool down and warm up and adjusts based on the phases of your sleep and the environment that you're in.

我想跟你分享Eight Sleep床垫给我的睡眠带来的惊人改变。

I got to share with you the amazing transformation that my Eight Sleep mattress has brought to my sleep game.

舒适度简直爆表，但这还不是最棒的。

The comfort level is off the charts, but that's not even the best part.

这个温度控制技术对我来说真的改变了游戏规则。

The temperature control technology has been a total game changer for me.

它在很多方面都改善了我的睡眠质量。

It's improved the quality of my sleep in so many ways.

我醒来时感觉更加神清气爽、精力充沛，准备好迎接新的一天。

I wake up feeling more refreshed, energized, and ready to take on the day.

它甚至能追踪我的睡眠模式，还可以接入我的智能家居系统。

It even tracks my sleep patterns and can be integrated into my smart home system.

我从来没体验过这样的睡眠。

I've never experienced sleep like this.

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Stay cool this summer with Eight Sleep, now shipping within the USA, Canada, the UK, select countries in the EU, and Australia.

我觉得这很能说明你和家人的关系，因为我想知道，当你像坐火箭一样飞速发展时，要维持这样的关系需要付出什么，对吧？

I think that says a lot about you and the family because I wonder what it takes to hold onto a relationship like that when you're on a rocket ship, right?

我觉得我们每个人都会经历生活的变化、过渡期，以及想要紧紧抓住的家人和朋友，但这越来越难，尤其是在有成功、有嫉妒、有竞争的时候。

I feel like all of us deal with shifts in our life, transitions, and family and friends that we want to hold onto, but it gets harder and harder, especially when there's success, when there's envy, when there's competition.

有时候，这并不是因为某人不爱你或不关心你。

And sometimes it's not because someone doesn't love you or doesn't care about you.

在我们生活的这个世界里，这太自然了。

It's so natural in the world we live in.

那么，这到底需要什么呢？

And so what does it really take?

因为我觉得这会帮到很多人。

Because I think this will help a lot of people.

在所有的喧嚣、挑战和压力中，真正要怎样才能留住你爱的人？

What does it actually take to hold onto someone you love and continue with all the noise and all the challenges and all the stress that comes with it?

到底需要什么？

What does it actually take?

因为这真的很难。

Because it's tough.

但有些朋友，你不需要每天联系。

But then there are those friends that you don't have to talk to every day.

还好有群聊，你可以随时插句话或者快速点个赞。

Thank God for group chats where you can chime in and heart something really quick.

但你真正的挚友也会支持你。

But your real best friends will also support you.

但这需要彼此的尊重。

But it takes that mutual respect.

因为我的朋友们，如果他们有对他们来说重要的事情，对我来说，去支持他们和让他们支持我一样重要。

Because what my friends are doing, if they have something that's important to them, it's just as important for me to show up for them as it is for them to show up for me.

我可能会有更丰富多彩的生活，要求他们参加更大的活动，但这并不意味着他们的事情就不重要。

I might have a more colorful life and a bigger event that I'm asking them to show up to, but it doesn't mean that theirs isn't just as important.

所以我觉得就是要有那种互相尊重——

So I think just having that mutual respect-

尊重别人是理所当然的。

... treating people with respect is just a given.

我真的觉得，当一个人有着非常稳定的关系时，他就是一个非常可靠的人。

I truly think someone is such a solid person when they have really grounded relationships.

这些关系可以建立在爱之上，也可以有所不同。

Grounded in love and relationships can be different things.

有时候你会有一群喜欢一起度假的闺蜜，有时候你会有一些工作得很合拍的同事朋友。

Sometimes you have your group of girlfriends that you love to go on vacation with, and then sometimes you have your other friends that you work really well with.

每段关系都可以不一样。

Every relationship can be different.

如果你们彼此之间都有起码的相互尊重，我觉得这是最重要的。

If you have just a mutual respect across the board, that's, I think, the number one thing.

这事得两个人共同维护。

It takes two.

得两个人一起才行。

It takes two.

完全同意。

Totally.

关键就在这。

That's the point.

你没法单方面建立这种关系，或者硬撑下去，如果对方不——

You're not going to be able to create it or falsely hold onto it with someone who doesn't-

完全同意。

Totally

——不想给你那份尊重。

... want to give you that respect.

这是不会发生的，是的。

It's not going to happen, yeah.

你之前提到过育儿的话题，而且提了好几次，我想知道你是怎么看待的——

You were talking about earlier about parenting, and you brought it up a few times, and I wonder how you view-

你没有孩子，对吧？

You don't have kids, do you?

还没有。

Not yet.

好的。

Okay.

等你有了孩子，我们再聊这个话题。

We'll have this conversation again when you do.

是的，当然。

Yes, absolutely.

所以我才会问你。

That's why I'm asking.

所以我才问你这些育儿的问题。

That's why I'm asking parenting questions.

你原本想象中当父母是什么样子，和实际情况有什么不同？

What was your vision like for what you thought parenting was going to be like versus what it actually is?

大家都说日子漫长，但岁月飞逝，这句话再对不过了。

Everyone says the days are long and the years are short, and that couldn't be a more true statement.

当你身处其中，尤其是孩子还小的时候，喂奶、各种混乱，真的是一团糟。

So when you're in it, especially when they're babies and you're feeding and there's madness going on, it's full madness.

不过那是最好的混乱。

It's the best chaos, though.

我的早上，你根本不知道在发生什么。

My mornings, you have no idea what's going on.

就像我总得给我女儿梳头，必须梳得完美，必须按某种方式来。

It's like I always have to do one of my daughter's hair, and it has to be perfect, and it has to be a certain way.

然后这个又需要我帮他穿鞋。

And then this one needs me to put his shoes on.

他们都需要你，那真是彻底疯狂，又要做饭又要跑来跑去的。

And they all need you, and it's full crazy madness, cooking, running around.

简直太疯狂了。

It's wild.

所以我早上一定要锻炼，就是为了应付那两个小时的混乱。

That's why I need my workout in the morning, just to prepare for the two hours of craziness.

我觉得养育孩子这件事是最让我了解自己的。

I'd say parenting is the thing that has taught me the most about myself.

这是我遇到过最大的挑战。

It has been the most challenging thing.

有些晚上我会哭着睡着，心里想：到底发生什么了？

There are nights I cry myself to sleep like, "What just happened?"

各种情绪和性格搅在一起，有时候他们还会吵架，而旁边没有人。

With all the moods and the personalities, and sometimes they're fighting, and there's no one there.

只有我一个人要同时演好人坏人，这确实是很大的挑战，因为我正在努力学着变得更严厉一点。

It's me to play good cop and bad cop, so that is definitely a challenge when something I'm working on is being a little bit firmer.

没有什么能让你做好准备。

There's nothing that can prepare you.

任何人，不管是哪个说“哦，我们得先攒够多少钱”的人。

Anyone, any person that says, "Oh, we're waiting to have X amount of money in the bank."

“哦，我们得先有自己的房子再要孩子。”

"Oh, we're waiting to have a home before we have kids."

“哦，我得先等到这份工作到手再要孩子。”

"Oh, I'm waiting for this job to come in before we have kids."

不管你怎么等，不管你在等什么，你永远不会准备好。

I don't care how long you wait, I don't care what you're waiting for, you are never prepared.

但你总能挺过去，而且你会为自己能挺过去、能撑过这一天而感到无比自豪。

But you will figure it out, and it will make you so proud of yourself that you figured it out and that you got through the day.

有时候，晚上就是慢慢熬，一个小时一个小时地熬，看看能不能撑过去。

And sometimes it's nights where it's just we are going hour by hour to see if we're going to survive, night by night.

如果孩子突然闹起来，天哪，你的生活整个就乱套了。但这会让你更了解自己，比任何父母能预想的都要多。

If a tantrum comes in, oh my God, your life is completely upside down But it teaches you so much more about yourself than I think anyone, any parent, could have ever anticipated.

当妈妈的时候，有些夜晚你会好几天不洗头，身上都是吐的奶，还穿着同一件睡衣。

There are nights when you don't wash your hair for days as a mom, and you have spit up all over you, and you're wearing the same pajamas.

对于这种经历，真的没有什么能让你做好准备。

And there's just nothing that can prepare you for this experience.

这是这个星球上最具挑战性，但也是最让人有成就感的工作。

It is the most challenging, rewarding job on this planet.

你有没有某个时刻，看着宝宝们的脸，然后——

When was a moment when you were looking into your babies' faces and-

想说我想逃跑？

Said I want to run away?

我需要躲起来一晚？

I need to hide for a night?

每天晚上。

Every night.

我开玩笑的。

I'm just kidding.

不，谢谢你。

No. Thank you.

这很诚实。

It's honest.

我觉得这里面有一点点真实的东西——

I think there's a little bit of truth-

很多父母都有这种感觉。

... in that feeling that a lot of parents have.

当你看着他们的脸，经历过那些学到教训的时刻，你不得不面对的最难的一课是什么，让你觉得‘哇，我以前没发现这个。’

When you look into their faces and you had one of these moments where you were learning these lessons, what was the hardest lesson you had to learn about yourself that made you go, "Whoa, I didn't see that before.

如果不是因为那个孩子，我根本不会意识到这一点‘？

If it wasn't for that kid, I wouldn't have seen that"?

这种事经常发生。

It happens all the time.

我一直觉得，生活中遇到的一切都是为了教会我们一些东西。

I always think everything in life comes our way to really teach us something.

这真的很难，因为你有四个孩子，他们都想让同一个人同时哄他们睡觉，而且都想各自拥有那种体验。

And it's a really hard task when you have four kids, and they all want to be put to bed at the same time by the same person, and they all want to do it individually and have that experience.

没人愿意等，我被锁在房间里，孩子们在门外砰砰敲门，因为他们都想让我哄他们睡觉。

And no one wants to wait, and I'm locked in a room with kids banging outside of the door because they want me to put them to bed.

我就说：“我没法把自己切成四份。

And I'm like, "I can't cut myself in four pieces.

所以咱们得排个顺序。”

So we're going to have to schedule this out."

然后我们排了个计划，但没人愿意听。

And we're coming up with a schedule, and none of them want to listen to the schedule.

接着他们全都开始哭，这就是典型的夜晚。

And then they all start crying, and that's a typical night.

于是我让他们都坐在我女儿门外，我说：“我下一个就接你。

And so I sit them outside of my one daughter's door, and I'm like, "I'll pick you up next.

我们就这样轮着来，每次15分钟。”

We're doing this for 15 minutes."

她们根本等不了，一直在敲门，喊着‘快点，都五分钟了。’

And they can't be patient, and they're banging on the door, "Come on, it's been five minutes."

这样的夜晚每天晚上都在上演。

It's like those nights are every single night.

学校有大项目，有大事，她们根本不理解我也有工作，也有自己的学习安排，小孩子永远不会懂这些。

Big school projects, big things that are happening, and they don't understand that I work, or I have a school schedule too, or stuff kids will never understand.

所以我觉得就是那些夜晚，你分身乏术，只能将就着来，想办法哄两个一起上床睡觉。

So I think it's just those nights when you can't divide yourself, and you have to just work with what we have and try to bribe two of them to get put to bed at the same time.

太佩服父母了。

So much respect to parents.

也特别佩服那些不是父母的人，他们想过自由的生活。

So much respect to people also that aren't parents, that want to live their free life .

趁现在好好享受吧。

Enjoy it while you can.

复活节的时候我在棕榈泉，看着妈妈家，她把桌子摆好了，等着所有孩子和孙子孙女来，我们都住在她的房子里。

I was at Easter in Palm Springs, and I looked at my mom's house, and she had her table set for all of her kids, all of her grandkids, and we're all staying in her house.

我当时就想，这是永远的事。

And I was like, it's a forever thing.

它不是那种，嘿，好了，你18岁了，自己独立吧。

It's not like, hey, okay, you're 18 and you're on your own.

这是一辈子的事。

It's a forever thing.

我们现在都四十多岁了，还是不停地来找她，吵着让她解决所有问题。

And we're in our 40s, and we're still coming at her and fighting and asking my mom to resolve everything.

我看着她就想，她是怎么做到的？

And I look at her and I'm like, "How did you do it?"

我个人等不及想让我孩子再大一点。

I personally can't wait for my kids to get a little bit older.

大家都特别害怕青少年阶段。

Everyone is so afraid of the teenage phase.

我超级期待那个阶段。

I'm so excited for it.

等他们到了青少年时期，你再放给我听——我可能会……

Play this back for me when they're teenagers- ... and I'll probably...

但我看到我和我妈之间的关系，也知道我和我爸之间的关系，我们跟他们聊所有的问题、朋友的事、各种闹剧和高中那些事，都特别自在。

But I see the relationship I have with my mom, and I knew the relationship I had with my dad and how comfortable we were talking to them about all of our problems and all of our friend stuff and all of the drama and all of the high school stuff.

甚至现在，我跟妈妈聊的那些事，我对生活和感情的开放态度，还有我们有多亲近，即使小时候没懂，现在我可以看着她，跟她说：我明白了。

And even the stuff I talk to my mom about now and how open I am about life and relationships and how close we are, even if we didn't get it as a kid, I can look at her now and say, "I get it.

现在作为妈妈，作为成年人，我知道你当初为什么做那些决定。

As a mom now, as an adult now, I know why you made those decisions."

而且我很喜欢我们之间的这种关系。

And I love having that relationship.

这也是为什么我当初想要四个孩子。

And that is why I wanted to have four kids.

我看到我爸妈在我两个小妹妹出生前就生了四个孩子，我很喜欢那种大家庭的感觉。

I saw my mom and my dad had four together before she had my two little sisters, and I loved the big family.

而且我一直知道自己想要四个孩子。

And I always knew I wanted to have four kids.

而且我特别珍惜我们和她、还有我奶奶之间的感情。

And I just love so much our relationship with her, and my grandma.

我特别期待以后也能和自己的孩子们有这样的关系。

And I just can't wait to have that with my kids.

我迫不及待等他们长大到能懂我现在没法解释的那些事，总有一天他们会明白的，到时候我们可以一起笑着说这些。

I can't wait until they're old enough to understand so much that I can never explain to them now that they'll get one day, and we can laugh about it.

太美好了。

That's so beautiful.

对，你让我想起一句很美的话：“当你意识到父母是对的的时候，你的孩子正在告诉你你错了。”

Yeah, you reminded me of a beautiful old saying that says, "The day you realize your parents were right, your kids are telling you that you're wrong."

太对了。

So true.

就像小时候，你会特别崇拜妈妈，至少我是这样，一直到13岁。

And it's like that idea of just when you're a little boy, you adore your mom, at least I did up until 13 years old.

然后你成了青少年，觉得自己酷到不需要妈妈了。

Then you become a teenager, and you think you're too cool for your mom.

然后在我二十多岁的时候——

And then in my 20s-

我们总会回到他们身边的。

We're always back.

然后——

And then-

我和我的儿子们签了合同。

I have contracts with my sons.

我说：“你们永远都不能离开我。

I'm like, "You're never going to leave me.

我们永远都要是最好的朋友。

We always have to be besties.

你们永远不会觉得我太土。”

You're never going to be too cool for me."

他们总是答应。

And they always say yes.

我跟他们说："你们二十几岁、三十几岁都可以跟我住。"

I'm like, "You can live with me in your 20s, your 30s.

"永远别搬出去。"

Never move out."

他们答应了。

They said okay.

他们签合同了？

They've signed the contract?

是的。

Yep.

他们完全不知道（这是个玩笑）。

And they have no idea.

他们会违约的。

They'll breach it.

但也没关系。

But it'll be okay.

对，你不会去告他们的。

Yeah, you won't sue them.

我在想，你刚才描述的情况，是很多人都会经历的，而且像你说的，他们经历这些的时候确实很难受。

I wonder how in your position, what you just described is what so many people go through, and like you said, it's so hard for them to experience that.

但是当你解释像狗仔队这样的事情的时候，你说你在日本的时候没有这种经历，对孩子来说真是太好了。

But when you're explaining things like the paparazzi, or you were saying that when you were in Japan, you didn't have that experience, and that was so nice for the kids.

你是怎样引导他们理解你所过的那种生活的微妙之处的呢？

How do you walk them through the nuances of the life that you lead?

我猜他们的很多朋友也有类似的生活，但我敢肯定他们也有一些朋友，他们的父母不像你们这样。

And I'm guessing a lot of their friends also have similar lives, but I'm sure they have some friends who don't have parents-

完全正确

Totally

...像你们这样的。

... like yourselves.

那么你是怎么帮助他们协调这些的，或者你通常跟他们聊些什么，他们在现在这个年龄能理解什么，而哪些事情你会说，嗯，这个只能以后再慢慢说了？

And so how do you help them reconcile, or what are the kind of things that you talk about with them, or what can they understand at this age, and what are you like, well, that's just going to have to wait?

我的孩子想问我什么，我都会跟他们聊。

I'll talk to my kids about anything they want to ask me about.

我对孩子非常坦诚，非常开放。

I am so open and honest with my kids.

我觉得就该这样。

I think that's the only way to be.

有些事他们可能还理解不了，我会等到合适的时机再跟他们谈。

And it could be things that they might not understand, and I'll wait to find the appropriate time to talk about it.

我觉得他们从小就看到那些镜头，甚至还是婴儿的时候就已经看到了。

I think they grew up seeing the cameras, and they grew up seeing that even as babies.

我们一出门，就会有狗仔队。

We'd walk out, and there'd be paparazzi.

所以这其实不是他们特别在意的事。但我女儿特别敢说。

So it's not really something that they acknowledge a lot But my daughter's really vocal.

她会直接告诉他们，不想让他们在旁边，让他们走开，别拍了。我特别高兴他们能用自己的小声音表达出来。

She'll tell them when she doesn't want them around and to leave her alone and to stop, and I love that they use their little voices.

但他们也有非常正常的生活，远离这一切的另一面。

But they also have such a normal life and such a different life away from all of that, too.

这就是为什么我喜欢我和我的姐妹们同时有了孩子，这样他们可以互相陪伴，共同经历这些。

And that's why I love that my sisters and I all had babies at the same time, so they can be with each other and have these experiences together.

完全同意。

Absolutely.

你嘴里说出来的所有词都是“团结”和“忠诚”。

All the words that come out from you are togetherness, loyalty.

在家庭中看到这些令人难以置信，但我觉得你后来做的——当我看到你走向司法改革、运用你的声音、接受律师训练去改变世界时，真的让我很感动。

It's incredible to see it in family, but I think what you've then done, which when I saw you do this, it really moved me when I saw you move into that direction of justice reform and using your voice and training to be a lawyer to make these changes in the world out there.

因为我觉得家庭中有一种天然的求生本能。

Because I find that there's a natural sense of survival as a family.

但当你开始把他人的生存也考虑进去时，这是一种爱的延伸，是向世界传递的善意，而且——

But then when you start taking into account the survival of others, there's an extension of love and what goes out to the world and-

……

...

我觉得看到那一幕真的很特别。

I think it was really special to see that.

这个播客叫《On Purpose》是有原因的，因为我觉得每个人都在寻找自己的目标。

And this podcast is called "On Purpose" for a reason because I think everyone's searching for their purpose.

你觉得那算是目标的一种体现吗？

Would you say that was a expression of purpose, or?

绝对的。

Absolutely.

我觉得那是其中一个时刻，碰巧我刷社交媒体的时候看到了一个我完全无法理解的案件。

I think that's one of those moments, by chance, I happened to be looking on social media and seeing a case that I just didn't understand.

而且我一直是个好奇心很强的人，所以如果心里放不下的事，我绝不会就这么算了，至少会试着去弄清楚是怎么回事。

And I'm always a really curious person, so I'll never let something go if it's weighing on my heart to not at least try to figure out how it happened.

我一直对犯罪案件、解谜和找出真相特别感兴趣。

I've always been really interested in crime stuff and solving things and figuring things out.

所以当我看到一个让我觉得说不通的女性案件时，我特别好奇，就把推特上冒出来的那个小视频发给了我认识的那些很熟的律师，他们可以帮我解答问题。

So when I saw a case of a woman that just didn't make sense to me, I was really curious, and I sent this little video that popped up on my Twitter to attorneys that I knew really well that could answer questions for me.

然后当我发现我不能就这么坐视不管，这件事真的让我心里很难受，因为我觉得那太不公平了。

And then when it seemed like I couldn't just sit there, it was really weighing on my heart when I felt like it was so unfair.

我不知道还有成千上万类似的案件，都那么不公平。

I didn't know that there was thousands of cases that were so unfair.

我当时就想，'哇。

I just thought, "Oh, wow.

我得帮这个人。'

I have to help this person."

然后当我在这个过程中成功帮助了那个人之后，我才意识到，'等等，还有好多这样的人。

And then when I was successful in doing that, on my journey, I realized like, "Wait, there's so many more people like this.

我不能什么都不做。'

I can't not do something."

而且我觉得，那些注定要来到你面前的事情，都会按照你自己的节奏、你的学习程度适时出现，因为那件事就是来到了我面前。

And I think that that also goes with whatever's meant to come to you at your own pace for your own learning levels is what's meant to be, because that came to me.

我并没有刻意去寻找它，但它改变了我的生活，也改变了我这个人。

I wasn't searching for that, and that changed my life, and it changed who I am.

我就是不能坐视不理，看着那些不该失去自由的人受苦。

I just can't sit around and see this happen to other people that aren't deserving of their freedom.

我觉得每个人都有自己的路，当你需要成长的时候，该来的自然会来。

I think just everyone's on their own path, and things will come to you when you need to be elevated to that growth level.

我真的很感激这些经历，因为我确定这就是我的使命。

And I'm really grateful for those experiences because I definitely think that that's my purpose.

在做这件事的过程中，你内部有什么变化，是你以前没注意到的？

What internal changes did you see in yourself that maybe you didn't see before when you started doing this work?

你内心不得不去面对的是什么？

What did you have to grapple with internally?

有没有什么事是你必须从内心突破的？

Was there anything that you had to break through inside?

对，那些是什么？

Yeah, what were those things?

我得说，我一直觉得自己是个有同情心、关心别人的人，而且我总是在乎别人的感受。

I would say I always felt like I was a compassionate person and a caring person, and I always cared about people's feelings.

但我一开始做这个工作的时候，我的同理心水平完全不一样。

But my level of empathy was at a completely different level when I started.

我以前可能更有偏见，我会觉得那些坐牢的人，尤其是因为重罪或长期刑期的人，肯定是罪有应得。

I might have been way more judgmental, and I would think that someone that was behind bars, especially for a really lengthy or a serious crime, that they probably were absolutely guilty.

我一点同情心都没有。

I had no compassion.

我就是太爱评判别人了。

I was just really judgmental.

后来我开始接触这些案件，了解他们的背景和经历，我才发现很多人根本就没有机会变得更好，也不知道怎么变得更好，这真的改变了我的一生。

And then when I started to hear about these cases and people's backstories and their histories and realized that so many people really didn't have the opportunities to be better and didn't know better, it really changed my whole life.

我现在的情怀跟几年前完全不一样了，我觉得这也是我为什么这么努力地为别人争取第二次机会，因为人们会做出很糟糕的选择和错误，有些人的错误比其他人严重得多。

And my level of empathy is just so different than what it was years ago, and I think that's why I fight so hard for people to get second chances, because people make really bad choices and really bad mistakes, some way, way worse than other people.

但如果永远不给你改变的机会，那真的很可悲，尤其如果一个人在十几岁时做了个坏决定，然后到了四十多岁，几乎没有什么改变的机会，而其实你已经可能拥有很多了。

But if you're never given the chance to change, that's really sad, especially if you make a really bad decision as a teenager, and then you're in your 40s, and you're given no shot to change when you really already maybe have so much.

对我来说，表达这些，帮助那些已经做出改变的人，真的很重要。

It was really important to me to express that and help people that have made those changes.

而且我喜欢的是，我猜你在外面的世界里做那样的事情，其实会影响到你整个人生，突然你会发现，你说得太对了，我觉得我们所有人，不只是那些坐牢的人，我觉得我们时时刻刻都在评判别人。

And I love how I'm assuming that when you do something like that in the outside space, it kind of applies to your whole life, where all of a sudden, you're so right that I think we all, not even people behind bars, I think we all judge people all the time.

而且当你几乎是在一种极端的方式下做这件事，在那种极端的环境里提高自己的同理心，你就能把这种同理心延伸到更多人身上——

And when you're almost doing it in such an extreme way and raising your empathy in such an extreme environment, you can now extend that and express that to so many more people-

……因为你不得不在一种情况下这样做，你会想，"哦，这个人绝对活该。"

... because you've had to do it in a way where you were like, "Oh, definitely that person deserves it."

然后突然你开始意识到，也许他们并不活该。

And all of a sudden, you start realizing maybe they didn't deserve that.

所以也许我们也不该这样被对待。

And so maybe we don't deserve this.

我觉得——

I think-

但在生活的各个层面上都会评判。

But in all levels of life of judgment.

我以前会评判别人的感情，评判别人怎么生活，现在我就会想，只要能让你开心就好，干嘛要评判呢？

I used to judge people and their relationships and how people lived their lives, and now I'm like, whatever makes you happy, why should we judge?

我们有什么资格去说别人该怎么生活呢？

Who are we to say how people should live their lives?

我现在不再那么爱评判了，我不知道是因为年龄、经历，还是经历了太多事情，反正现在就是觉得，开心就好。

My judgment is just, I don't know if it comes with age or experience or just going through so many things, but just be happy.

难道生活不就是这样的吗？

Isn't that what life is about?

就是去体验，让别人感到被倾听、被看见、被欣赏，并且对生活中那些我们幸运拥有和努力争取的东西心怀感恩。如果身边有我们爱的人相伴，那才是真正的成功。

Experiences, making people feel heard and seen and appreciated, and just having gratitude for the things in life that we're so blessed to have and work for and if we're surrounded by the people we love, that's real success.

你说是不是？

You know?

我同意。

I agree.

我发现很多人对外界的评判，慢慢都能看得开了。

And I feel that a lot of people Start getting better at that with the judgment outside.

但最难处理的，其实是自己心里的那些评判。

But one of the things that people struggle to deal with the most is the judgment in their head.

我想问一下，你有没有发现自己会对自己苛刻、严厉、甚至苛责自己？

And I wonder, do you find that you ever catch yourself judging yourself and being hard on yourself and being heavy and harsh on yourself?

没有。

No.

你已经能做到不自责了吗？

You've been able to give that up?

我会和自己较劲。

I'll be competitive with myself.

我觉得我是一个很有竞争心的人，但我对自己还挺宽容的。

I think I'm a really competitive person, but I'm pretty easy on myself.

哇，这真了不起。

Wow, that's incredible.

我一直都很冷静，也很随和。

I was always really calm, really easygoing.

这真是一个不错的成就。

That's a real achievement.

我相信你一定经常看到有人自责。

And I'm sure you see people judging themselves all the time.

几个月前，我给团队买咖啡的时候，记得我在付钱，收银员找给我零钱，我拿着零钱准备走，她突然说："等等，等等，等等。"

I was grabbing some coffees for my team a couple of months back or something, and I remember I was paying the cashier and she gave me the change, and I was grabbing the change and walking off, and she was like, "Wait, wait, wait.

"我太蠢了。"

I'm so stupid.

"我太蠢了。"

I'm so stupid.

"我找错钱了。"

I got the change wrong."

然后我说："我都没注意到。"

And I was like, "I didn't even notice."

我看了看，然后说：

And I looked and I was like-

"哦，好吧。"

... "Oh, okay."

我就说，‘你不傻。’

I was like, "You're not stupid.

‘小失误而已。’

Easy mistake."

你能看到她脸上的表情，她对自己太苛刻了，就为了那么一件——

And you could see the look on her face, she was judging herself so harshly for something so-

……小事。

... small.

我想，当你看到别人这样自责时，你会怎么回应呢？

And I guess when you see people judge themselves, then how do you respond to that?

或者说，你怎么去支持他们？

Or how do you support them?

说实话，我真的没怎么遇到过这种情况。

Honestly, I really haven't experienced that much.

那太好了。

That's fantastic.

太棒了。

That's amazing.

我很喜欢听到这个，因为我觉得你说得太对了，你可以围绕自己打造一个社区——

And I love hearing that because I think it is so true that you can curate and create a community around you-

——让里面的人有相似的价值观。

... that has similar values.

然后几乎你甚至都不用——

And then almost you don't even-

我看到了很多决心——

I see a lot of determination-

——还有很多的创造力，很多努力。

... and a lot of creativity, a lot of hard work.

如果我和闺蜜们去度假，我们大概早上六点都会起床，然后都想去锻炼。

If I were to go on vacation with my girlfriends, we'd all be getting up probably at 6:00 a.m., all want to go on a workout.

我觉得不会有哪个女孩会说：“我要睡到十点，我不锻炼。”

I don't think there's that one girl that would be like, "I'm sleeping till 10:00 and I'm not working out."

所以我觉得，虽然你身边的人各不相同，性格也不一样，但我很多核心朋友的想法真的都跟我很合拍。

So I think that obviously everyone around you is different and has different personalities, but I think a lot of my core friends are really like-minded.

是的，有时候那种积极同辈压力其实也挺健康的。

Yeah, and sometimes that positive peer pressure can be really healthy, too.

即使你有个朋友正在挣扎，一旦他加入那个群体——

Even if you have that one friend who's struggling, as soon as you're added to that group-

完全同意。

Totally

你就能看到他们被带动起来。

... you see them elevate.

我在很多朋友身上都见过这种情况——

I've seen that with so many of my friends that-

完全同意。

Totally

就算有人遇到困难，只要他融入那个圈子——

... even if there's one person who's struggling with something, as soon as they're in that pack-

突然之间，你就会看到他们突破了自己的天花板。

... all of a sudden you start to see them break through their ceiling.

这对他们来说是一个改变。

And it changes for them.

我觉得我学到的这件事，可能有点惨痛，因为我现在觉得自己处于很好的状态，我生活中的人让我觉得很踏实。

I think something that I've learned maybe the hard way, because I feel like I'm at a really good place now where the people in my life, I feel really solid.

我觉得这是我人生中第一次，当然，我和我的女性朋友和朋友们从小学就保持着很长久的关系，但我学到的一件事是，你无法帮助那些不想被帮助的人。

I think this is the first time in my life, obviously, I've had really long relationships with my girlfriends and friends since elementary school, but something I learned is that you cannot help people that don't want the help.

你不能把自己的信念强加给别人，也不能把自己认为对的东西投射到一个想法完全不同的人身上。

You can't force your beliefs and project that on someone that thinks something totally different.

拥有不同的观点是可以的。

And it's okay to have those different views.

这正是世界运转的原因。

It's why the world goes round.

但如果你们的核心价值观、道德观和重要的事情不一致，那么你也要明白，生命如此短暂，你应该去找到那些真正与你信仰一致的人。

But if you don't align in the same values and morals and things at your core, then it's okay to realize that this life is so short, and you should go and find the people that do align with what you really believe in.

而且我觉得有时候事情太多了，你可能会被很多其他东西蒙蔽，如果不静下来想想一个人真正的价值观和道德观是什么，他们想过什么样的生活，那么其他事情太多了，我不怪那些没有停下来想这些事的人。

And I think sometimes there's so much going on that you can be blinded by so many other things, that if you don't stop and think about what someone's true values and morals are and how they want to live their life, so much other things are going on, so I don't blame people that don't really stop and think about those things.

这些是我会教给我孩子的，关于他们找朋友、找伴侣和处理关系的一些经验。

Those are some of the lessons that I would teach my kids when they're looking for friends and partners and relationships.

你真的不能强迫别人接受你的想法。

You can't really force things upon other people.

你不能指望他们达到你所在的水平。

You can't expect them to be where you're at at your level.

有时候，不同的观点其实可以很好地共存。

And sometimes that could really coexist really well.

但有时候真的不行。

But then sometimes it really can't.

你必须放弃把别人塑造成你想要的样子这种想法。

You have to let go of the idea of molding people into what you want.

想想你自己有没有什么特别想改变的地方。

Think about if there's something about yourself that you really want to change.

带着那种期望进入一段关系，觉得自己能改变对方，或者觉得自己有那个本事，这种想法真的非常自私，也非常不理智。

The expectations of going into something and thinking you're going to get a different result, or thinking you have the power to change someone is so selfish and so crazy.

而且每个人都这样，大家都得靠自己慢慢领悟。

And everyone does it, and everyone has to learn on their own.

这也是我一直以来采取的态度，我会看着朋友们，给他们一些建议，但从来不会强行干涉，因为即使我说："嘿，别走那条路。

And that's something that I've always sat back, helped friends, given them advice, but never really pushed, because even if I were to say, "Hey, don't walk down that path.

相信我，我经历过。

Trust me, I've been there.

你不想去那里。"

You don't want to go there."

然后他们嘴上说好，跟着你走了另一条路，但他们永远不会学到那个教训。

And they say, okay, and they follow you and they go on a different path, they'll never learn that lesson.

他们根本不明白我在说什么。

They have no clue what I'm talking about.

我可以跟你聊一整天育儿经。

I could say parenting stuff to you all day long.

说实话，你没经历过就真的不懂。

With all due respect, you have no clue until you've been through it.

我尊重每个人的经历和教训，我会一直陪在我爱的人身边，帮他们度过难关，但他们必须自己经历这些才能成长。

I welcome people's journeys and their lessons, and I'll always be there to the people that I love to help them through that, but they got to go through that in order to grow on their own.

你从妈妈那里学到的最大的教训是什么，你想教给孩子们的？

What's the biggest lesson you learned from your mom that you're trying to pass on to the kids?

我觉得就是她让别人感受到的那种感觉。

I think just how she makes people feel.

真正被倾听和被欢迎的感觉。

Really heard and welcomed.

她真的是最温暖、最热情的人，这看起来可能有点表面，但真的不是。

She really is the most warm, welcoming person, and it's just like her overall, it seems superficial, but it's not.

她办派对的能力其实不算什么，重要的是那种欢迎的感觉，我都不知道我在说什么词了。

Her party planning skills, it's not even that, it's just the welcomingness of, I don't even know if these are words I'm saying.

但就是她那种温暖的劲儿，让每个人觉得被邀请来这里，特别自在。

But just her ability to be so warm and to make everyone feel like they were invited here.

我打算准备一顿特别的复活节晚餐，摆上我们小时候在我爸家时，妈妈放在桌上的那些东西。

I'm going to create this special Easter dinner with the things on the table that she had when we were growing up at my dad's house.

她身边总是围绕着这些特别有怀旧感的东西，而且她总是想办法让每个人都觉得自己很特别，但通过聚会的方式，让大家感到自在，能聚在一起聊天。

She just has all this really special, nostalgic stuff around all the time and always tries to make everyone feel so special, but with a gathering so that everyone feels comfortable and can hang around.

她就是喜欢有人在她身边——

She just loves people in her space-

……也喜欢创造这些回忆。

... and loves to create these memories.

我觉得我们都从她那里继承了这一点，如果我能把这一点传给我的孩子们的话，那就是我们作为一家人一起经历的这些时光，哪怕只是穿着睡衣一起待着，我们也会花时间聚在一起。

And I think that we all got that from her, and we will all, if I can just pass that on to my kids Just the experiences that we have as a family, whether we're just sitting in our pajamas and hanging out, we make the time to be together.

我希望我的孩子们长大后，也愿意花时间和他们的表亲、阿姨们，乃至整个大家庭聚在一起。

And I hope that my kids want to make the time to be together when they grow up with their cousins and their aunts and just the whole family.

我相信他们会的。

I'm sure they will.

是的，我也觉得他们会。

Yeah, I think they will too.

我相信他们一定会的。

I'm sure they will.

是的，我觉得你们这一代人已经把这传承下来了，所以……

Yeah, I think you've managed to hold onto it in your entire generation and so-

……孩子们看得到。

... they see that.

我觉得孩子很大程度上会模仿……

I think kids mirror so much of-

……他们周围看到的一切。我记得我遇到我妻子的时候，她的外婆是她在这个世界上最爱的人。

... what they see around them and I remember when I met my wife, her grandma is her favorite human on the planet.

有意思的是，当你爱一个人时，你会知道他们最爱的人是谁。

And it's really interesting how when someone you love, you know who their favorite human is.

你会自然而然地也开始爱那个人。

You automatically start loving them.

我和我自己的祖父母不是很亲近，但我跟拉迪的外婆关系更近——

And I wasn't really close to my grandparents, but I'm closer to Radhi's grandma-

比我自己的祖父母还亲，因为——

... than I am to my own grandparents because-

太可爱了。

That's so cute

你看到你对所爱之人的感情——

... you see your love for-

所以我觉得当你的孩子看到你对你姐妹、表亲、姑姑叔叔们的爱时，

... the person that you love, and so I think when your kids see the love that you have for your sisters and your cousins and your aunts and uncles and-

要是我的孩子们都能爱他们的兄弟姐妹就好了，那就太棒了。

Now, if only all my kids can love their siblings, that would be amazing.

他们现在正处于打打闹闹的阶段。

They're in a fighting phase.

你们肯定也经历过那个阶段。

And you guys went through that phase, I'm sure.

我们也经历过。

We went through it too.

天哪。

Oh my God.

还在继续。

It's still going on.

打架。

The fistfight.

还在打。

Still going on.

那就是——

That's-

没完没了。

Never ending

……永远不会停。

... that's never going to stop.

Kim，我觉得你出差那么多，生意那么多，现在又要上电视节目，又一个电视节目。

Kim, I feel like you travel so much, you have so many businesses, you're now going to be on a TV show, another TV show.

你已经有——

I mean, you've got-

……你生活中发生了这么多事情，我相信一定有某些时刻，不管孩子们说没说出口，我知道我身边的很多人都感到很多作为妈妈的愧疚。

... so much things happening in your life, and I'm sure there's moments where whether the kids say something or don't, I know a lot of people in my life feel a lot of mom guilt.

而且妈妈们会一直带着这种愧疚。

And moms carry it with them.

你有没有——

Have-

……你在朋友、家人那里经历过这种情况吗？

... you experienced that with your friends, your family?

当然。

Absolutely.

作为妈妈的愧疚可能是最难的事情。

Mom guilt is probably the hardest thing.

我觉得你也得区分开来，明白你需要自己的一点理智。

I think that you have to also separate though and understand that you need your own bit of sanity.

所以你得做让你自己开心的事。

So you have to do what makes you happy.

对我来说，工作就是，我热爱工作，所以那让我开心。

Working for me, I love working, so that makes me happy.

每当我遇到特别难的事，我就会埋头工作，或者如果遇到挑战，我也喜欢扎进去干，这算是我的一种治疗方式，也是让我继续前行的日常节奏。

Anytime I think something's really hard, I dive into work, or if there's challenges, I love to dive into my work, and that's a bit of my therapy and my routine to keep me going.

但我觉得，当孩子发脾气或有我们根本不知道的事情发生时，我和闺蜜们会聊一聊，那时候你真觉得自己是最糟糕的妈妈。

But I think, I have chats with my girlfriends when our kids are having tantrums and there could be things going on that we don't even know about, and you feel like you're the worst mom.

如果有事情发生而你解决不了，你不知道怎么改变，孩子又在打架，不管是什么情况，我和朋友们会互相发消息，哭成一团，真的会把自己锁在房间里躲开发脾气的孩子——虽然那并不是你该做的。

If something's going on and you can't fix it, you have no idea how to change it, your kids are fighting, whatever it is, and my friends and I will text each other and be in tears, literally locking ourselves in the room, away from a kid having a tantrum when that's not what you should do.

你本该去靠近他们。

You should go and lean into them.

但有时候真的让人受不了。

But sometimes it's so overwhelming.

可能唯一让我对自己苛责的时刻就是问自己：我是不是一个好妈妈？

That was probably the only time I'd be hard on myself is, am I a good mom?

我什么都想做到。

I try to do everything.

我觉得平衡工作和这个的关键是，回到家的时候，要全身心投入。

And I think how to balance work with that is when you're home, being really present.

孩子嘛，他们要的只是时间。

Kids, all they want is time.

他们只是想要你的陪伴。

They just want your time.

你可以给他们各种精彩的大经历，他们会记得，那些确实很好，但他们永远会记住你在他们身边。

You can give them all these amazing, big experiences, and they'll remember them, and they're great, but they'll always remember you being present.

我觉得这是在所有关系里最重要的事情。

And I think that's just the most important thing in all of your relationships.

想想孩子想要什么。

Think about what a kid wants.

孩子只是想要你的时间，那其他人不也一样吗？

A kid just wants your time, so why wouldn't everyone else?

如果你想在生活中有这些有意义的关系，就得这样对待每一个人。

You have to kind of treat everyone like that if you want these meaningful relationships in your life.

而且你必须全身心投入。

And you have to be present.

觉得自己不是100%完美的妈妈也没关系。

And it's okay to feel like you are not 100% at being the best mom.

我经常这么说。

I say this all the time.

没有现成的指南。

There's no manual.

孩子出生时没附说明书。

They do not come with a manual.

每个人都在尽自己最大的努力。

Everyone's doing the best that they can.

我真的很幸运，有一群好闺蜜，我们的孩子都在经历不同的事情——想象一下他们经历的所有事情，比如离婚，以及他们不得不面对的一切。

And I just feel so lucky that I have a good group of girlfriends, and all of our kids are experiencing different things from, imagine all the things that they-- a divorce, everything that they have to go through.

我们没事的。

We're okay.

他们会没事的。

They will be okay.

他们会感受到爱和支持，这已经是你能做的一切了。

And they will feel the love and support, and that's all you can do.

一切都会好起来的。

It'll be okay.

我肯定这对你来说很难，因为你之前说你对自己要求很高——

And I'm sure that's hard for you because you were saying that you're so competitive with yourself-

……你总想事事做到最好。

... that you want to be the best at everything.

但我觉得做最好的妈妈一定是最难的——

But I feel like being the best mom must be the hardest-

世界上最难的工作。

Hardest job in the world

最难达到的标准。

... thing to ever live up to.

绝对的。

Absolutely.

而且我很有信心。

And I'm very confident.

所以每年，我都会在孩子们的生日那天，给他们每个人写一封大约四五页的信，记录这一年的经历、他们的朋友是谁、他们说的那些有趣的话、他们最喜欢的食物，还有他们做的所有那些傻事，以及这一年的小旅程。

So every year, I write each one of my kids about a four or five-page letter on their birthday about what the year was like, who their friends are, silly words they're saying, their favorite foods, all the silly things that they do, and a little journey of what the year is like.

看到第一年的信，现在其中一个孩子快十岁了，真的很有趣，我知道他们会珍惜这些的。

And it's so fun to see from the first year, now one of them almost 10 years old, and just to, I know that they'll appreciate this.

我知道他们会理解我所有的用心，那些他们可能觉得我太严厉的时候，其实是在保护他们。

I know that they'll appreciate everything that they might have thought I was being a little harsh on, me protecting them.

我知道他们会明白的，因为我和我妈就是这样过来的。

I know that they'll get it, because I got it with my mom.

而且我知道他们以后也会理解我的。

And I know they'll get it with me.

你让我想起了一件美好的事情，我想分享一下。

You've reminded me of something beautiful that I want to share.

我爸妈都是移民到伦敦的，我就是在那里出生和长大的。从小他们俩就一直在工作，所以我早上被送到托儿所，晚上再接回来。

So my mom and dad were both immigrants in London, which is where I was born and raised, and both my parents worked ever since I was a kid, and so I'd get dropped to daycare, get picked up in the evening.

但我想起的是你之前说的一句话。

But what I remember is something you said.

我妈妈会来接我，我到现在还记得她来接我时脸上的表情。

My mom would come and pick me up, and I still remember the look on her face when she'd pick me up.

她总是笑得特别灿烂，然后给我一个大大的拥抱。

She'd have this big smile, and she'd give me the biggest hug.

她带我回家，她做饭的时候我们就一起坐下来，聊聊天。

She'd take me home, and we'd sit down together while she was cooking, and we'd just talk to each other.

虽然小时候和父母在一起的时间其实不多，但我能感觉到他们满满的陪伴。

And it's almost like I never had a lot of time with my parents growing up, but I felt so much presence.

我现在真心觉得，我能有这么多爱去给予，是因为我妈妈用爱滋养了我。

And I honestly believe today that I have so much love to give because my mom infused me with love.

我妈妈就是——

My mom just-

……用满满的爱包围着我——

... bathed me in so much love-

完全同意

Totally

……所以对我来说，去爱别人特别容易，因为我从妈妈那里得到的爱从来都是无穷无尽的。

... that it's so easy for me to be loving because I've always had infinite amounts of it from my mom.

那真是太好了。

That's the best.

我简直无法想象。

I couldn't imagine.

我特别使劲地爱我的孩子们。

I love on my kids so hard.

他们被我烦得不行，而我特别享受这一点。

They are so annoyed with me, and I love it.

我真心觉得你很让人敬佩，你的想法和专注力在于，你想做一个了不起的妈妈，但同时你也想让孩子们看到一个充满激情、有目标的人是什么样的。

What I find genuinely inspiring about you and the way you think and focus is that you want to be this incredible mom, but you also want to show the kids What a passionate, purpose-

一个被目标驱动的人是什么样子的。

... driven person looks like.

而且我觉得我们忘了，这也是育儿的一部分。

And I think we forget that that's also parenting.

我不是家长，但我可以老实说，当我看到我妈妈晚上工作到很晚，早上又早起，我回想起来，我觉得我妈妈就是个女超人。

I'm not a parent, but I can honestly say that when I saw my mom working late at night and waking up early in the morning, I look back at my mom and I think my mom is a superwoman.

而且我回头看，那是一种激励。

And I look back at that as inspiration.

我希望我的孩子有一天也这么看我。

I hope my kids think that of me one day.

他们会这么看的，一定会的，因为他们会看到这些。

They will, they will, because they'll see that.

我觉得我爸爸也是这样。

And I think same with my dad.

我看到我爸爸，他不得不工作那么多，而且——

I saw my dad and how much he had to work and-

——那其中有一种强大的力量。

... and there was something powerful about that.

我觉得我总是想给他们看，我送孩子去学校，然后我有两三个小时的法学院课程。

I think I always like to show them, I drop my kids off at school, and then I have two or three hours of law school.

所以我得走了。

So I got to go.

我准时，因为我有我的课程，而他们一直和我一起经历这些。

I'm on time because I have my school, and they have been on the journey with me.

他们看到我参加律师资格考试。

They saw me take the bar exam.

他们看到我查成绩，多次没过。

They saw me open my results and not pass multiple times.

他们看到我查成绩通过了，我哭了，他们感受到了我的努力终于有了回报。

They saw me open up the results and pass, and I was crying, and they felt my hard work and it paid off.

我想让他们看到，找到热爱并为之努力，是我喜欢做的事情，而且这给我带来了很多快乐。我希望他们也能感受到那种积极的体验，我也鼓励他们去追求。

I want to show them that finding a passion and working to me is something I love to do, and there's so much joy in that for me, and I want them to feel that positive experience, and I encourage that from them.

我只想尽可能给他们展示更多积极的经历，让他们看到，你可以努力工作，同时也能享受其中。

I want to just show them as many positive experiences as I can and show them that you can work hard and you can love it.

我就尽量过好自己的生活，给他们树立一个好榜样。

And I just try to live my life and be a good example for them.

我觉得这已经传递给他们了。

I think it comes through.

而且我确实这么认为。

And I do believe that.

当我回想我的父母时，我所能做的就是感激我的母亲。

When I look back at my parents, all I can do is appreciate my mom.

我所能做的就是——

All I can do is-

希望他们能感受到。

I hope they do.

有时候他们会说我是世界上最凶的妈妈，因为我不每天给他们买Roblox。

Sometimes they tell me I'm the meanest mom in the world because I won't buy them Roblox every day.

我就会说，

It's like, I'm like, "It's okay.

没关系，我可以当世界上最凶的妈妈。

I can be the meanest mom in the world."

你懂吧？

You know?

嗯，我觉得这就是妈妈该做的。

Well, I think that's what moms do.

没关系。

It's okay.

妈妈愿意为孩子扮演任何角色，哪怕只是暂时的。

Moms are willing to be anything their kids need them to be even if it's that for a short period of time.

Kim，你今天真是太好了，愿意花时间聊这些。

Kim, you've been so gracious and kind with your time today.

我们每一期《On Purpose》节目最后都有一个“最后五问”环节。

We end every On Purpose episode with a final five.

第一个问题是：你收到过或听过的最好的建议是什么？

The first question is, what is the best advice you've ever received or heard?

关于时间，我学到的一点是，时间总是不够用，所以要真正活在当下，珍惜你的人际关系，因为我们在这里的时间不长，我们只有一次生命。

Something that I've learned about time is just that we never have enough of time, so really be present and make the most of your relationships because we're not here very long and we have one life.

有没有某个瞬间或者某件事让你意识到这一点？

Was there a moment that made you realize that or something that happened that made you realize that?

我觉得当你失去父母中的一位时，你会总是对时间非常敏感，我妈妈总是提起这件事。

I think when you lose a parent you're always really mindful of time, and my mom talks about it all the time.

我想这可能是她一生中最害怕的事情，有时会让她夜不能寐。

I think she's like, probably the one thing in life she's scared about, and keeps her up at night sometimes.

所以就是要确保你充分利用一切，因为时间过得飞快。

So just making sure that you make the most of everything because it'll go by so fast.

第二个问题。

Second question.

你听过或收到过的最糟糕的人生建议是什么？

What is the worst life advice you've ever received or heard?

我觉得最糟糕的建议可能是建议太多或者意见太多。

I think maybe the worst advice could be almost too much advice or too many opinions.

如果你真正相信自己的直觉，做自己想做的事，如果你待在自己的小圈子里，当外界的声音渗透进这个圈子时，可能会有太多不同的意见，我觉得有时候那些相互矛盾的建议本身就是坏建议。

If you really trust your gut and you do what you want to do and if you're in your bubble and when the world gets to that little piece of your bubble and there can be so many opinions, I think sometimes all of the conflicting advice can just be bad advice.

即使你本应该犯错，或者按照某个坏建议去做你想做的事，那仍然是你人生旅程的一部分。

That even if you're supposed to make your mistake and maybe do what you want to do with any bad piece of advice, that's still a part of your journey.

所以有时候，只管做自己想做的事，不要把所有建议都听进去，这样真的很健康。

So sometimes just do what you want to do and not take in all of the advice is really healthy.

我觉得这很棒。

I think that's great.

而且一开始就不要去问。

And don't ask for it in the first place.

不要——

Don't-

是的，我知道。

Yeah, I know

我们都有那么一个朋友，他——

We all have that one friend who-

完全同意。

Totally

……给25个人发了同样的问题。

... messages like 25 people with the same question.

完全同意。

Totally.

确实。

Definitely.

回答得好。

Good answer.

好的，第三个问题。

All right, question number three.

如果明天，不是我希望这样，没有意图，也没有精力在这上面，但如果明天你不得不重新开始——

If tomorrow, not wishing this, no intentions, no energy towards this, but if tomorrow you had to restart-

……你会怎么做？

... what would you do?

如果明天一切都消失了，你必须重新开始，从商业角度你会怎么做？

If tomorrow everything went away and you had to restart, what would you do business-wise?

那会有什么不同？

How would that shift?

我想我可能会成为一名律师，专注于这一行，去上法学院，然后全职做律师。

I think I would probably be a lawyer and just focus on that and go to law school and focus on being an attorney full time.

为什么？

Because?

我只是觉得能帮助别人的感觉非常强大、也非常必要，我会专注于这件事。

I just think the feeling of being able to help people is really powerful and necessary, and I would just focus on that.

这个回答真是发自内心。

That's such a heartfelt answer.

我喜欢这个回答。

I love that.

太美了。

That's beautiful.

很高兴我问了你这个问题。

I'm glad I asked you.

就是，对，我觉得这真的很有意思。

It's like, yeah, I just feel like it's really interesting.

我昨晚跟我们的共同朋友Scooter Braun他们聊天，

I was having a conversation last night with mutual friends of ours, Scooter Braun and-

哦，是吗

Oh, yeah

我们昨晚在一起，聊到一个想法，就是我们常常觉得是经历造就了现在的我们，还是说无论怎样你都会成为现在的你，因为那是你注定要成为的样子？

... we were together last night, and we were talking about this idea about how we often think that our experiences make us who we are, or is it that you are just going to be who you are anyway because that's who you were meant to be?

我觉得两者都有。

I think it's both.

你想啊。

Think about it.

你可以是最有才华的人，但如果你没有那份决心和驱动力，那又能怎样呢？

You can be the most talented person, but if you don't have that determination and drive, then what will become of it?

光有才华，事情并不会自动发生。

It's not just going to magically happen because you're talented.

那当然。

Of course.

所以我觉得很大程度上靠的是努力，以及你怎么利用它，搞清楚自己是谁、想向世界传递什么。

So I think so much of it is the effort and what you do with that and figuring that out and who you are and what you want to put out in the world.

我想说的是，我觉得你身上有那种想要成为最好的能量，想要把事情做得特别好，想要追求那种品质，而且无论你最终做什么——

I guess my point is that I think you have that energy of wanting to be the best, of wanting to do things really well, of wanting to do things with that quality, and whatever you ended up doing with it-

都会是那个样子。

... it would've been that.

而且现在已经是了。

And it is that already.