让自己感觉更好的三种最简单方法

嘿，我是杰。

Hey, it's Jay.

我不知道你今天过得怎么样，但我刚才想你了。

I don't know what your day's been like, but I was just thinking about you for a minute.

我希望你能对自己多一点耐心，因为你值得。

And I hope you're being a little patient with yourself because you deserve it.

好的，我很快再联系你。

And, yeah, I'll talk to you soon.

在过去的七年里，我有幸与一些世界顶尖的神经科学家、心理学家、医生、研究人员和幸福专家进行了对话。

Over the last seven years, I've had the privilege of sitting down with some of the world's leading neuroscientists, psychologists, physicians, researchers, and happiness experts.

每次谈话都让我深受启发。

Every conversation leaves me inspired.

但说实话，这也让我多了一个要尝试的习惯。

But if I'm being honest, it also leaves me with another habit to try.

一位专家告诉我要优先考虑力量训练。

One expert tells me to prioritize strength training.

另一个人则坚信冷水浴。

Another swears by cold exposure.

还有人强调肠道健康、睡眠规律或冥想的重要性。

Someone else explains the importance of gut health, sleep consistency, or meditation.

我真的很喜欢从这些对话中学到东西，但过了一段时间，我注意到发生了一件我没想到的事。

I genuinely love learning from these conversations, but after a while I noticed something happened that I wasn't expecting.

我对健康了解得越多，就越容易感到不知所措。

The more I learned about wellness, the more overwhelmed I could start to feel.

我发现自己总是在想，我吃得对不对，晒够太阳了没有，补充剂吃得对不对，运动够不够，睡得够不够，或者有没有遵循最好的晨间习惯。

I found myself wondering whether I was eating the right foods, getting enough sunlight, taking the right supplements, moving enough, sleeping enough, or following the best possible morning routine.

我并没有感觉更健康，反而一直在想那些我没做到的事情。

Instead of feeling healthier, I was constantly thinking about all the things I wasn't doing.

我开始怀疑，你们很多人是不是也有同样的感受。

And I started to wonder if this is what so many of you are experiencing as well.

我们比任何一代人都拥有更多的健康信息，但仍有那么多人醒来时感到疲惫、焦虑、疏离，或者干脆不像自己。

We have more information about health than any generation before us, yet so many people still wake up feeling exhausted, anxious, disconnected, or simply not like themselves.

就在那时，我意识到了一件事。

That's when I realized something.

我觉得我们的思维让我们相信，让自己感觉更好远比实际要复杂得多。

I feel our minds have convinced us that feeling better is far more complicated than it actually is.

不知从什么时候开始，我们开始相信，如果不遵循一套复杂的流程，或者不优化一天中的每一个环节，我们就会落后。

Somewhere along the way we started believing that if we weren't following an elaborate routine or optimizing every part of our day, we were falling behind.

心理学家其实给这种倾向的一部分起了个名字，叫“复杂性偏差”。

Psychologists actually have a name for part of this tendency, complexity bias.

我们天生就认为复杂的解决方案一定比简单的更有效，即使证据表明并非如此。

We naturally assume that complicated solutions must be more effective than simple ones even when the evidence suggests otherwise.

想想你有多少次说过：“哦，不可能这么简单吧。”

Think about the amount of times you've said, oh, it can't be that simple.

“哦，不可能这么容易吧。”

Oh, it can't be that easy.

“肯定要比这复杂得多。”

It needs to be more complex than that.

结果就是我们花了太多时间寻找完美的日常安排，以至于忽略了那些几千年来一直帮助人类茁壮成长的习惯。

The result is that we then spend so much time searching for the perfect routine that we overlook the habits that have consistently helped human beings thrive for thousands of years.

所以今天这期节目，我决定回顾我们播客多年来的对话，问一个不同的问题。

So for today's episode, I decided to go back through years of conversations we've had on this podcast and ask a different question.

与其关注专家们意见不一的地方，我寻找的是那些反复出现的共识。

Instead of focusing on everything the experts disagree about, I looked for what kept showing up again and again.

他们争论饮食。

They debate diets.

他们争论补充剂。

They debate supplements.

他们争论禁食、冷水浴、最新的健康潮流。

They debate fasting, cold plunges, the latest wellness trends.

尽管来自完全不同的领域，但几乎所有人都同意，有三个习惯对我们感受的影响特别大。

But despite coming from completely different fields, there are three habits that almost everyone agrees have an outsized impact on how we feel.

我说感觉更好，不只是指活得更久，或者几十年后降低各种疾病的风险。

When I say feel better, I don't just mean living longer or lowering every risk of disease decades from now.

我的意思是，早上醒来时更有精力，心里更平静，和爱的人在一起时更专注，感觉又找回了自己。

I mean having more energy when you wake up in the morning, feeling calmer in your own mind, feeling more present with the people you love, feeling like yourself again.

今天，我想和你分享这三个习惯，但更重要的是，我想解释它们为什么有效，因为我相信，理解了背后的科学，才能真正坚持下去。

Today, I want to share those three habits with you, but more importantly, I want to explain why they work because I believe understanding the science behind them is what finally makes them stick.

回顾这些对话时，有一件事让我很着迷，那就是专家们几乎从不从最新的研究开始讲起。

One thing that fascinated me as I looked back through all of these conversations is that the experts almost never started with the newest research.

他们从最基础的东西开始。

They started with the basics.

这很有意思，因为进步往往感觉像是不断做加法——更多信息、更多技术、更多优化。

That's interesting because progress often feels like adding more, more information, more technology, more optimization.

但我发现，实际上，基础永远是第一位的。

But what I've found is that in reality, the fundamentals always need to be met first.

你睡得好吗？

Are you sleeping?

你有在活动身体吗？

Are you moving your body?

你是不是长期处于压力之中？

Are you chronically stressed?

你和别人有联系吗？

Are you connected to other people?

我觉得我们都应该更经常地问自己这些问题。

I think we could all benefit from asking ourselves those questions more often.

在我们假设自己出了什么大问题之前，值得先问问自己，是不是只是和身心一直需要的东西脱节了。

Before we assume something is deeply wrong with us, it's worth asking whether we've simply become disconnected from the things our minds and bodies have always needed.

你不能靠优化来绕过那些让你状态最好的基本需求。

You can't optimize your way out of needing the three basic things that are going to make you feel your best.

所以，我们先从每个专家都提到的第一件事开始，那就是动起来。

So let's start with the number one thing every expert shares we need, and that is simply moving our bodies.

如果我问你锻炼有什么好处，大多数人可能会给出同样的答案。

If I asked you what exercise is good for, most people would probably give me the same answer.

他们会说，锻炼对心脏好，能帮你减肥、增肌，或者让你年纪大了以后保持强壮。

They'd say it's good for your heart, helps you lose weight, build muscle, or keeps you strong as you get older.

这些说法都没错，但我认为它们让我们忽略了最重要的好处。

All of those things are true, but I actually think they've caused us to miss the most important benefit.

本期《On Purpose》节目由马自达赞助播出。

This episode of On Purpose is presented to you by Mazda.

内心的平静不是偶然得来的。

Peace of mind doesn't happen by chance.

它来自于我们在真正需要之前就建立起来的习惯。

It's created through the habits we build before we ever need them.

这就是每一辆马自达背后的理念。

That's the philosophy behind every Mazda.

凭借主动安全功能，让你更警觉、更专注、更投入，马自达让你对前方的路况做好准备。

With proactive safety features that help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged, Mazda helps you feel ready for whatever the road brings.

这就是为什么马自达被《消费者报告》评为最安全的新车品牌。

It's why Mazda has been named Consumer reports safest new car brand.

截至2026年7月，马自达获得的2026年IIHS顶级安全之选+奖项数量超过了其他任何汽车品牌。

And as of July 2026, Mazda has won more 2026 IIHS top safety pick plus awards than any other car brand.

想了解更多，请访问 www.iihs.org。

Visit www.iihs.org to learn more.

很多事，在事故没发生时就已经发生了。

A lot can happen when an accident doesn't.

想了解更多，请访问 mazdausa.com。

Visit mazdausa.com to learn more.

《消费者报告》不推荐任何产品或服务。

Consumer reports does not endorse products or services.

运动不只是改变你的身体。

Exercise doesn't just change your body.

它首先改变的是你的大脑。

The first thing it changes is your brain.

一旦你明白每次运动时大脑里发生了什么，你就会更容易理解为什么运动是让自己感觉更好的最快方式之一。

And once you understand what's happening inside your brain every time you move, it becomes much easier to understand why movement is one of the fastest ways to feel better.

我们被灌输的一个最大的误解是，运动主要是为了燃烧卡路里。

One of the biggest misconceptions we've been taught is that exercise is primarily about burning calories.

这已经成了我们对运动的一种固有看法，尤其是在一个如此注重外表的文化里。

That's become the story we've attached to it, especially in a culture that's so focused on appearance.

我们把运动看作是一种需要去挣得的东西，或者是在吃多了之后才应该去做的事情。

We think of movement as something we have to earn or something we should do after we've eaten too much.

但你的身体从来不认为运动是一种惩罚。

But your body has never viewed movement as punishment.

从生物学角度来看，运动是告诉你的大脑和身体我们活着、我们有能力、我们能应对今天挑战的主要信号之一。

From a biological perspective, movement is one of the primary signals that tells your brain and body we're alive, we're capable, we can handle today's challenges.

这是一种完全不同的思考方式。

That's a completely different way of thinking about it.

在人类历史的绝大部分时间里，运动并不是我们安排进日程表的事情。

For almost all of human history, movement wasn't something we scheduled into our calendars.

它不是健身课，也不是上班前花三十分钟去健身房。

It wasn't a workout class or thirty minutes to the gym before work.

运动就是生活本身。

Movement was simply life.

我们走路去找食物。

We walked to find food.

我们提水。

We carried water.

我们为了生存而攀爬、举重、下蹲、奔跑、伸手和探索。

We climbed, lifted, squatted, ran, reached, and explored just to survive.

人类学家有时把这描述为一种进化上的错配。

Anthropologists sometimes describe this as an evolutionary mismatch.

我们的身体是为一个需要经常活动的世界而设计的，但我们却创造了一个可以整天不费身体什么力气的世界。

Our bodies were designed for a world that demanded regular movement, but we've created a world where we can get through an entire day without asking much of our bodies at all.

我们的环境在几代人的时间里就变了，但我们的生物学却没有足够的时间来跟上。

Our environment changed in just a few generations, but our biology hasn't had nearly enough time to catch up.

这就是为什么运动对我们的感受有如此深远的影响。

That's why movement has such a profound effect on how we feel.

这不是因为你的身体对你走了一万步感到佩服。

It's not because your body's impressed that you hit 10,000 steps.

这是因为你在给大脑提供它进化过程中所期待的东西。

It's because you're giving your brain something it evolved to expect.

运动能增加大脑的血流量，把更多的氧气和营养送到最需要的地方。

Exercise increases blood flow to the brain, delivering more oxygen and nutrients exactly where they're needed.

它还能促进一种叫做脑源性神经营养因子（BDNF）的蛋白质的生成，很多神经科学家把它形容为大脑的肥料。

It also increases the production of a protein called brain derived nootrophic factor or BDNF, which many neuroscientists describe as fertilizer for the brain.

BDNF帮助大脑建立新的神经连接，增强学习和记忆能力，并支持负责情绪调节的大脑区域。

BDNF helps your brain create new neural connections, strengthens learning and memory, and supports the very parts of the brain responsible for emotional regulation.

换句话说，运动不仅仅能增强肌肉。

In other words, movement doesn't just strengthen your muscles.

它还能让大脑变得更灵活。

It helps your brain become more adaptable.

但运动改变的不只是大脑的化学物质。

But movement changes more than just your brain chemistry.

它还会改变你与自己的关系。

It also changes the relationship you have with yourself.

我们常常以为自信是先于行动产生的，但心理学家发现，事实往往相反。

We often think that confidence comes before action, but psychologists have found the opposite is usually true.

自信是通过证据建立起来的。

Confidence is built through evidence.

每次你对自己信守承诺，无论多小，你的大脑都会收集到一条关于你是谁的新证据。

Every time you keep a promise to yourself, no matter how small, your brain collects another piece of evidence about who you are.

这就是为什么运动即使在你身体发生变化之前，也能带来如此大的转变。

That's why movement can be so transformative even before your body changes.

身体上的好处固然重要，但那种通过一次次向自己证明“我是一个说到做到的人”而获得的默默自信，同样重要。

The physical benefits matter, but so does the quiet confidence that comes from proving to yourself over and over again, I'm someone who follows through.

有时候，人们运动后真正感受到的，正是这种感觉。

Sometimes that's the feeling people are really noticing after a workout.

那不仅仅是内啡肽的作用，更是对自己的信任。

It's not just endorphins, it's self trust.

你的肌肉并不是简单的收缩和舒张的机器。

Your muscles aren't simply machines that contract and relax.

实际上，科学家现在发现，肌肉的功能几乎就像内分泌器官一样。

In fact, scientists now understand that muscles function almost like an endocrine organ.

每次你锻炼时，它们会释放化学信号，这些信号在全身传递，与大脑、免疫系统、肝脏甚至脂肪组织进行交流。

Every time you exercise, they release chemical messages that travel throughout your body, communicating with your brain, immune system, liver, and even your fat tissue.

就好像你的身体开始了一场内部对话。

It's almost as if your body starts having an internal conversation.

这些信号有助于减轻炎症、改善新陈代谢，并以研究人员仍在探索的方式支持大脑健康。

Those signals help reduce inflammation, improve metabolism, and support brain health in ways researchers are still discovering.

所以当人们说运动是良药时，他们并不是在打比方。

So when people say exercise is medicine, they're not speaking metaphorically.

你的肌肉确实在产生帮助身体其他部分更好地运作的物质。

Your muscles are literally producing substances that help the rest of your body function better.

这也是运动成为治疗焦虑和抑郁的重要工具的原因之一。

This is also one of the reasons movement has become such an important tool in treating anxiety and depression.

锻炼会刺激内啡肽的释放，内啡肽能减轻疼痛并带来幸福感。

Exercise stimulates the release of endorphins, which reduce pain and create feelings of well-being.

但这只是故事的一部分。

But that's only part of the story.

它还会增加内源性大麻素，这些天然化合物有助于让人感到平静，减轻压力。

It also increases endocannabinoids, naturally occurring compounds that help create feelings of calm and reduce stress.

随着时间的推移，规律运动能积极影响动力、情绪和韧性。

Over time, regular movement positively affects motivation, mood, and resilience.

这就是为什么很多人说，长时间散步或好好锻炼之后，感觉像变了一个人。

That's why so many people say they feel like a different person after a long walk or a good workout.

他们不是错觉。

They aren't imagining it.

他们的大脑化学物质确实发生了变化。

Their brain chemistry is genuinely shifted.

我们花了很多时间试图通过思考来让自己感觉更好，却常常忘了大脑一直在倾听身体的声音。

We spend so much time trying to think our way into feeling better that we sometimes forget our brains are constantly listening to our bodies.

大多数情绪都有对应的身体状态。

Most emotions have a physical state.

焦虑会改变你的呼吸。

Anxiety changes your breathing.

压力会让你的肌肉紧绷。

Stress tightens your muscles.

悲伤会让你的动作变慢。

Sadness slows your movements.

这种沟通是双向的。

The communication goes both ways.

当你主动改变身体状态时，你也在向大脑传递关于当前状态的新信息。

When you intentionally change your physiology, you're also giving your brain new information about the state you're in.

这就是为什么即使周围一切都没变，散步也能改变你的一天。

That's one reason a walk can change your day even when nothing around you has changed.

难谈的对话还在等着你。

The difficult conversation still awaits.

账单也还在那里。

The bills are still there.

不确定性并没有消失。

The uncertainty hasn't disappeared.

但你的身体状态已经改变了，大脑开始从更平静、更有活力的状态去解读世界。

But your physiology has shifted, and your brain begins interpreting the world from a calmer, more energized state.

当然，运动不能解决所有问题，但它确实改变了你，让你更有能力去面对这些问题。

Of course, movement doesn't solve all your problems, but it does change the version of you that's capable of facing them.

我最喜欢问的一个问题是这样的。

One of my favorite questions to ask is this.

如果运动让我们感觉这么好，为什么我们却很难让自己去运动呢？

If exercise makes us feel this good, why is it so difficult to get ourselves to do it?

答案不是因为我们懒。

The answer isn't that we're lazy.

而是因为我们的大脑结构常常跟我们作对。

It's that our brains are wired in a way that often works against us.

心理学家称之为“现时偏差”。

Psychologists call this present bias.

我们天生就更看重眼前的舒适，而不是未来的回报。

We naturally place more value on immediate comfort than future rewards.

你的大脑关注的是现在从沙发上起来有多难。

Your brain pays attention to how difficult it feels to get off the couch right now.

它不会自然而然地同样重视一小时后你会感到的精力充沛、专注或平静。

It doesn't naturally give equal weight to how energized, focused, or peaceful you'll feel an hour from now.

换句话说，你的大脑在拿今天的努力和明天的好处比较，而今天的努力几乎总是占上风。

In other words, your brain is comparing today's effort with tomorrow's benefit, and today's effort almost always wins out.

还有一种有趣的心理学现象，叫做努力折扣。

There's another interesting piece of psychology at work called effort discounting.

研究人员发现，我们总是高估开始前努力会带来的不适感。

Researchers have found that we consistently overestimate how unpleasant effort is going to feel before we begin.

我们想象的是整个锻炼过程，但实际上我们只需要穿上鞋子。

We imagine the entire workout, but all we really need to do is put on our shoes.

我们想象自己筋疲力尽、不舒服，恨不得把闹钟按掉继续睡。

We picture ourselves exhausted, uncomfortable, and wishing we were snoozing the alarm.

但一旦我们真的开始动起来，大脑就会更新那个预测。

But once we actually start moving, our brains update that prediction.

这就是为什么很多人说，锻炼最难的部分就是开始。

That's why so many people say the hardest part of exercising is simply getting started.

往往想象中的痛苦比实际体验更糟糕。

The anticipation is often worse than the experience itself.

所以我们经常责怪自己缺乏自律，但实际上我们经历的几乎是每个人类大脑天生就会做的事。

So often we criticize ourselves for lacking discipline, when in reality we're experiencing something almost every human brain is designed to do.

你的大脑并不是在故意破坏你。

Your brain isn't trying to sabotage you.

它是在试图节省能量，因为在人类历史的大部分时间里，节省能量帮助我们生存。

It's trying to conserve energy because for most of human history, conserving energy helped us survive.

问题在于，我们今天生活的世界比我们大脑进化时的世界更鼓励久坐不动。

The problem is that the world we live in today promotes sitting still far more than the world our brains evolved for.

所以下次你的大脑说服你赖在床上、保持不动、跳过下一次锻炼时，试着问它一个不同的问题。

So next time your brain is convincing you to stay in bed, to stay stationary, to skip that next workout, ask your brain a different question.

今天只要穿上运动鞋，我能得到哪些好处呢？

What are all the benefits I stand to gain by simply lacing up my sneakers today?

因为这才是我们真正在讨论的事情。

Because that's really what we're talking about.

我们不是在追求完美的身材。

We're not chasing the perfect body.

我们不是要挣得晚餐，也不是要惩罚自己。

We're not trying to earn our dinner or punish ourselves in any way.

我们是在给大脑发送它天生就该接收的信号。

We're giving our brains the signals they were designed to receive.

当我们持续这样做时，感觉更好就不再是希望，而是我们主动创造的结果。

And when we do that consistently, feeling better stops being something we hope for and starts becoming something we actively create.

所以，如果这个观点你只记住一点，那就记住这个。

So if you take only one thing away from this first idea, let it be this.

不要把运动看作是为了十年后的自己而做的事情。

Don't think about movement as something you're doing for the version of yourself ten years from now.

把它看作今天改变心情最快的方式之一。

Think about it as one of the fastest ways to change the way you feel today.

你不需要完美的锻炼。

You don't need the perfect workout.

你不需要在健身房待两个小时。

You don't need two hours at the gym.

有时候，二十分钟的散步、短暂的拉伸，或者只是在办公室绕一圈，就足以改变你的心情。

Sometimes a twenty minute walk, a short stretch session, or simply taking a lap around your office is enough to shift your mood.

让心静下来，提醒大脑，它比几分钟前感觉到的更有能力。

Quiet your mind and remind your brain that it's capable of more than it felt just a few minutes earlier.

第二个习惯让我很意外，因为几乎每个我聊过的专家描述得都不一样。

Now the second habit most experts shared surprised me because almost everyone I spoke to described it differently.

有些人提到减少屏幕时间。

Some talked about limiting screen time.

有些人提到正念或冥想。

Others talked about mindfulness or meditation.

有些人特别强调了无聊的重要性。

Some emphasized boredom.

还有人谈到了深度工作，或者和家人在一起时的专注。

Others spoke about deep work or being present with your family.

表面上听起来像是完全不同的建议，但本质上，他们指向的是同一件事。

On the surface, it sounded like completely different advice, but underneath it all, they were pointing to the same thing.

他们都在说，要保护你的注意力。

They were talking about protecting your attention.

我觉得我们大多数人没有意识到，注意力不只是我们使用的东西。

I don't think most of us realize that attention isn't just something we use.

它是我们消耗的东西。

It's something we spend.

你每一次对话，每一次查看通知，每一条读到的标题，每一个看的视频，每一次在脑海里反复回放的担忧，都需要消耗你的一部分注意力。

Every conversation you have, every notification you check, every headline you read, every video you watch, every worry you replay in your mind, they all require a piece of your attention.

一旦你把注意力分散到一百个不同的地方，就很难在任何地方感到平静、专注或投入了。

Once you've scattered it across a 100 different places, it becomes incredibly difficult to feel calm, focused, or present anywhere.

我其实觉得注意力比时间更宝贵。

I actually think attention is even more valuable than time.

我们常说时间是最宝贵的资源，因为一旦失去，就再也回不来了。

We often say time is our greatest resource because once it's gone, we can never get it back.

但你可以在某个地方待上一整个下午，却从未真正体验过它。

But you can spend an entire afternoon somewhere without ever really experiencing it.

你可以坐在你爱的人对面，而心思却完全在别处。

You can sit across from someone you love while your mind is somewhere else entirely.

你可以去度假，却有一半时间在想着工作。

You can take a vacation and spend half of it thinking about work.

你生活的质量不仅仅取决于你的身体在哪里度过时间。

The quality of your life isn't just determined by where your body spends its time.

它取决于你的注意力在哪里度过时间。

It's determined by where your attention spends its time.

所以，我其实不认为我们最大的问题是花太多时间在手机上。

That's why I actually don't think our biggest problem is that we're spending too much time on our phones.

我觉得更大的问题在于，我们已经习惯了注意力分散的生活。

I think the bigger problem is that we've become accustomed to living with fragmented attention.

我们很少能完整地想完一件事，就被另一件事打断了。

We rarely finish one thought before another one interrupts it.

我们一边回邮件，一边半听半不听地放着播客。

We answer an email while half listening to a podcast.

吃饭的时候还要看一眼消息。

We check a message during dinner.

看电视的时候还要刷社交媒体。

We watch television while scrolling social media.

不知从什么时候起，多任务处理成了我们引以为傲的事情，但神经科学告诉我们，这并不值得骄傲。

Somewhere along the way multitasking became something we were proud of, but neuroscience tells us we shouldn't be.

大脑其实并不能同时处理多个复杂任务。

The brain isn't actually doing multiple complex tasks at once.

它只是在快速切换任务，而每一次切换都是有代价的。

It's rapidly switching between them, and every switch comes with a cost.

研究人员把其中的一部分称为注意力残留。

Researchers call one part of this attention residue.

想象一下，你正在做一个重要的项目，然后手机响了。

Imagine you're working on an important project, and then your phone buzzes.

你快速回复了一条消息，然后回到刚才做的事情上。

You quickly reply to a message and return to what you were doing.

感觉好像你从刚才停下的地方继续了，但你的大脑并没有。

It feels like you've picked up right where you left off, but your brain hasn't.

你的一部分注意力还停留在上一个任务上，就像你离开一个房间，但一部分自己还站在门口。

Part of your attention stays attached to the previous task, almost like leaving one room while a part of you is still standing in the doorway.

这种残留会一整天累积，让你更难清晰思考、创造性地解决问题，或者完全投入到接下来做的事情中。

That residue accumulates throughout the day, making it harder to think clearly, solve problems creatively, or feel fully engaged in whatever you're doing next.

我觉得这也解释了为什么很多人一天结束时感觉异常疲惫，即使他们没有做体力劳动。

I think this also explains why so many people end the day feeling strangely drained, even if they haven't done physically demanding work.

精神疲劳不仅仅来自努力工作。

Mental fatigue doesn't only come from working hard.

它来自于不断地切换状态。

It comes from constantly switching gears.

想象一下，同时读三本不同的书，每隔几分钟就换一本。

Imagine trying to read three different books at the same time, picking up a different one every few minutes.

你不会指望自己能很好地理解任何一本。

You wouldn't expect to understand any of them very well.

然而，这往往就是我们度过一天的方式。

Yet that's often how we move through our days.

我们让大脑不断地重新开始，然后奇怪为什么到了晚上会感到筋疲力尽。

We ask our minds to constantly start over and then wonder why we feel exhausted by the evening.

我最近读了一项研究，它彻底改变了我对手机的看法。

I recently read a study that completely changed the way I think about my phone.

研究人员发现，即使手机只是放在旁边，屏幕朝下，完全静音，你的认知能力也会下降。

Researchers discovered that your cognitive performance actually decreases when your phone is simply sitting nearby, even if it's turned face down and completely silent.

想想看。

Think about that for a moment.

你不需要真的用它，它就能影响你。

You don't have to be using it for it to affect you.

你大脑的一部分还在分配资源，去抵抗查看它的冲动。

Part of your brain is still allocating resources to resisting the urge to check it.

你的注意力正在为某个当下毫无价值的东西付出代价。

Your attention is paying rent to something that isn't providing any value in that moment.

所以，如果我们想解决这个问题，我觉得得先明白我们为什么会这样。

So if we want to solve this problem, I think we need to first understand why we do this.

把责任推给科技，或者我们被要求快速掌握新信息的速度，这很诱人，但我觉得这不是全部原因。

It's tempting to blame technology or the speed at which we're expected to know new information, but I don't think that's the full story.

我们大多数人拿起手机，并不是真的想找信息，或者故意要分心。

Most of us don't pick up our phones because we're intentionally looking for information or to be distracted.

我们拿起手机，是因为我们在寻找一种解脱。

We pick them up because we're looking for relief.

在会议间隙的安静时刻、排队的时候、对话变得尴尬的时候，或者当我们为无法控制的事情感到焦虑时，我们就会伸手去拿手机。

We reach for them in the quiet moments between meetings while standing in line when a conversation feels awkward or when we're anxious about something we can't control.

手机不再只是通讯工具，更像是一种情绪应对机制。

The phone becomes less of a communication tool and more of an emotional coping mechanism.

心理学家称之为“经验性回避”。

Psychologists call this experiential avoidance.

面对无聊、不确定、孤独或压力时，我们不是去感受这些情绪，而是本能地逃避。

Instead of sitting with boredom, uncertainty, loneliness, or stress, we instinctively move away from those feelings.

问题是，每次我们立刻转移注意力，也就失去了处理自己感受的机会。

The problem is that every time we immediately distract ourselves, we also rob ourselves of the opportunity to process what we're feeling.

我们越来越擅长逃离不适，却越来越不擅长理解它。

We become incredibly skilled at escaping discomfort, but much less practiced at understanding it.

久而久之，这种持续的逃避让我们精神疲惫，因为注意力从未有机会真正安定下来。

Over time that constant escaping leaves us feeling mentally exhausted because our attention never gets the chance to settle.

一旦出现片刻停顿，我们就会本能地填补它。

The moment there's a pause, we instinctively fill it.

排队等候时，我们会不由自主地拿起手机。

We reach for our phones while waiting in line.

一上车就打开播客，在超市排队结账时也不停刷手机。

We turn on a podcast the second we get in the car, we scroll while standing in the grocery store checkout.

不知从什么时候起，我们不再相信自己的想法足以陪伴自己。

Somewhere along the way, we stop trusting that our own thoughts were enough to keep us company.

也许我们甚至害怕自己的想法。

Or maybe we got scared of them.

但无聊并不是缺少有意义的东西。

But boredom isn't the absence of something meaningful.

很多时候，无聊恰恰是有意义的开始。

Very often it's the beginning of it.

正是在无聊中，我们才会反思。

It's where reflection happens.

正是在无聊中，创造力才会把看似不相关的想法联系起来。

It's where creativity begins connecting ideas that didn't seem related before.

正是在无聊中，我们才能听到那个一整天都在试图引起我们注意的想法。

It's where we finally hear the thought that's been trying to get our attention all day.

当我们消除每一个安静的时刻，我们不只是消除了无聊。

When we eliminate every quiet moment, we don't just eliminate boredom.

我们还消除了一些更好地了解自己的最佳机会。

We also eliminate some of the best opportunities to better understand ourselves.

神经科学家告诉我的最令人惊讶的事情之一是，你的大脑实际上需要那些看起来不像休息的休息时间。

One of the most surprising things neuroscientists have shared with me is that your brain actually needs periods of rest that don't look like rest.

不戴耳机散步，安静地坐着喝杯茶，开车时不自动打开音乐，排队时不伸手去掏口袋。

Going for a walk without headphones, sitting quietly with a cup of tea, driving without automatically turning a song on, waiting in line without reaching into your pocket.

在这些时刻，大脑中一个叫做默认模式网络的网络会变得更加活跃。

During these moments, a network in the brain called the default mode network becomes more active.

这个系统参与反思、理解你的经历以及连接想法。

This is the system involved in reflection, making sense of your experiences, and connecting ideas.

讽刺的是，我们最清晰的思考往往发生在我们不再拼命思考的时候。

Ironically, some of our clearest thinking happens when we stop trying so hard to think.

本期节目由瓦尔登大学赞助播出。

This episode is brought to you by Walden University.

平衡工作、生活和远大目标并不容易。

Balancing work, life, and big goals isn't easy.

所以瓦尔登大学通过Tempo Learning帮助在职专业人士获得学位，让你可以按照自己的节奏学习，同时通过真实场景获得实用技能。

That's why Walden University helps working professionals get the W with Tempo Learning, so you can earn your degree at your own pace while gaining practical skills through real life scenarios.

你还会从有实际经验的教师那里学习，并从头到尾获得支持。

You'll also learn from faculty with real world experience and have support start to finish.

瓦尔登大学，开启变革之路。

Walden University, set a course for change.

准备好开始了吗？

Ready to start?

今天就访问waldenu.edu。

Visit waldenu.edu today.

由Chev认证运营，Tempo Learning在部分项目中提供。

Certified to operate by Chev, tempo learning available in select programs.

所以，保护你的注意力其实并不是关于少用手机。

That's why protecting your attention isn't really about using your phone less.

这其实是创造更多让思绪完全跟上身体的时刻。

It's about creating more moments where your mind can fully arrive wherever your body already is.

当你的注意力不断被分散，生活就会开始变得模糊。

When your attention is constantly divided, life begins to feel blurry.

对话变得肤浅，吃饭时也心不在焉。

Conversations become shallower, meals pass by unnoticed.

日子似乎还没真正体验就过去了。

Days seem to disappear before you've really experienced them.

但当你重新掌控注意力时，奇妙的事情就会发生。

But when you reclaim your attention, something remarkable happens.

你不仅变得更高效，也变得更专注当下。

You don't just become more productive, you become more present.

而这种专注会让平凡的时刻重新变得有意义。

And presence has a way of making ordinary moments feel meaningful again.

我还觉得，我们值得问自己一个问题。

I also think it's worth asking ourselves a question.

上一次有人觉得你完全专注于他们，是什么时候？

When was the last time someone felt like they had your complete attention?

不是那种你一边瞄着通知一边分心的时候，也不是你已经在想接下来要做什么的时候，而是你完全在当下的那个你。

Not half your attention while you glanced at a notification, not the version of you that was already thinking about what you had to do next, the version of you that was fully there.

因为当人们回忆起生命中最重要的关系时，他们很少记得每一句话。

Because when people remember the relationships that mattered the most in their lives, they rarely remember every word that was said.

他们记得的是那一刻的感受。

They remember how they felt in the moment.

他们记得自己被看见、被倾听、被理解，并且很重要。

They remember feeling seen, heard, and understood and important.

也许这也是保护注意力能让我们感觉更好的另一个原因。

And maybe that's another reason protecting your attention helps us feel better.

它不仅改善了我们和自己的关系。

It doesn't just improve the relationship we have with ourselves.

它也加深了我们和其他所有人的关系。

It deepens the relationship we have with everyone else.

所以，这就是我想留给你的问题。

So here's the question I'd leave you with.

下次你下意识伸手去拿手机的时候，先停一秒钟，问问自己：我现在到底在找什么？

The next time you instinctively reach for your phone, pause for just a second and ask yourself, what am I actually looking for right now?

是信息，还是安慰？

Is it information or is it comfort?

因为如果是安慰，那你的手机很可能给不了你真正想要的东西。

Because if it's comfort, there's a good chance your phone isn't going to give you what you're really searching for.

有时候，你的大脑最需要的只是一点安静。

Sometimes what your mind needs most is simply a bit of quiet.

我们已经聊了运动的重要性，还有保护注意力这件事。

So we've covered the importance of exercise and the importance of protecting your attention.

第三个也是最后一个习惯，我觉得是最容易被低估的。

The third and final habit is the one I think people underestimate the most.

如果我问一个人，为了改善健康应该做什么，他们可能会提到吃蔬菜，没错，多喝水，没错，锻炼，没错，或者睡够觉，但很少会提到人际关系。

If I ask someone to list the things they should do to improve their health, they'd probably mention eating vegetables, true, drinking more water, true, exercising, true, or getting enough sleep long before they mention relationships.

我们往往把人际关系看作是让生活更愉快的东西，而不是从根本上影响健康的东西。

We tend to think of relationships as something that makes life more enjoyable, not something that fundamentally shapes our health.

但经过多年的采访，我越来越确信我们把这个顺序搞反了。

But after years of interviews, I've become convinced that we have this backwards.

人际关系不仅仅是健康生活的锦上添花。

Relationships aren't just a nice addition to a healthy life.

它们是健康生活的基础。

They're the foundation of it.

想想你最常抱怨的事情是什么，当它出问题时，那就是一段关系，无论是爱情、友情还是亲情。

Think about the thing you complain about the most when it's wrong, a relationship, whether it's romantic, a friend or a parent.

它要么带来最大的压力，要么带来最大的快乐。

It's the thing that causes the greatest stress or creates the greatest joy.

历史上持续时间最长的研究之一，花了几十年时间试图回答一个非常简单的问题。

One of the longest running studies in history has spent decades trying to answer a remarkably simple question.

什么能帮助人们过上长寿、快乐、健康的生活？

What helps people live long, happy, healthy lives?

研究人员追踪了几代人，测量了从胆固醇水平、职业到财富、智力和生活习惯等方方面面。

The researchers tracked participants across generations, measuring everything from cholesterol levels and careers to wealth, intelligence, and lifestyle habits.

在追踪人们超过八十年后，有一个发现始终比其他大多数因素都突出。

After following people for more than eighty years, one finding consistently rose above most everything else.

不是名声，不是成功，甚至不是基因本身。

It wasn't fame, it wasn't success, it wasn't even genetics on their own.

我觉得特别有意思的是，研究人员不只是问人们有没有人际关系。

What I find especially interesting is that the researchers weren't simply asking whether people had relationships.

他们问的是这些关系的质量，因为完全有可能身边围满了人，却依然感到极度孤独。

They were asking about the quality of those relationships because it's entirely possible to be surrounded by people and still feel profoundly lonely.

也有可能圈子相对小，但感到被深深支持。

And it's possible to have a relatively small circle, but feel deeply supported.

重要的似乎不是有多少人知道你的名字。

What seems to matter isn't how many people know your name.

而是有没有那么一些人，你可以完全做自己。

It's whether there are people with whom you can be completely yourself.

我觉得这个区别很重要，因为我们常常把社交联系和情感联系混为一谈。

I think that's an important distinction because we often confuse being socially connected with feeling emotionally connected.

我们可以有很多粉丝，参加各种活动，回复消息，但仍然觉得没有人真正了解我们。

We can collect followers, attend events, answer messages, and still carry the feeling that nobody really knows us.

但真正的联系需要的是不一样的东西。

But genuine connection asks for something different.

它需要我们足够坦诚，敢于让别人看到真实的自己。

It asks us to be vulnerable enough to let ourselves be seen.

我觉得明白这一点，能帮助我们更好地分配在人际关系上投入的时间。

I think knowing this helps us prioritize the time investment we ultimately put into our relationships.

我们常常把人际关系当成一种锦上添花的东西，觉得工作、杂事、邮件、责任都处理完了，有空再说。

Often we treat relationships like something nice to have if there's time after work, errands, emails, responsibilities.

我们告诉自己，下周给朋友打电话，下个月安排聚餐，或者等生活慢下来再好好陪家人。

We tell ourselves we'll call our friend next week, plan the dinner next month, or finally make time for family once life slows down.

但生活很少会自己慢下来。

But life rarely slows down on its own.

反而，它会不断找到新的方式来占据我们留下的每一个空档。

If anything, it keeps finding new ways to occupy every empty space we leave available.

不知不觉中，几年就过去了，我们无意中忽略了那些最能让我们感到活着的事情之一。

Before we know it, years have passed and we've accidentally neglected one of the very things that helps us feel most alive.

和你信任的人聊一聊，可以彻底改变你的感受。

Talking to someone you trust can completely change the way you feel.

也许你经历过那种一切都让人感到不堪重负的日子。

Maybe you've had one of these days where everything feels overwhelming.

你的待办事项清单根本不可能完成。

Your to do list is impossible.

你对未来感到焦虑，思绪似乎一直在打转。

You're anxious about the future and your thoughts seem to be running in circles.

然后你给朋友打了个电话，和伴侣一起散步，或者和了解你的人开心地笑了一个小时。

Then you call a friend, go for a walk with your partner or spend an hour laughing with someone who knows you well.

当你挂断电话时，生活的境况并没有改变，但不知怎的，你感觉轻松了许多。

When you hang up the phone, the circumstances of your life haven't changed, but somehow you feel lighter.

生活感觉更可控了。

Life feels more manageable.

这不只是情绪上的，更是生理上的。

That isn't just emotional, it's biological.

当我们和感到安心的人在一起时，身体会以不同的方式自我调节。

When we spend time with people we feel safe around, our bodies begin regulating themselves differently.

像皮质醇这样的压力激素会下降。

Stress hormones like cortisol decrease.

催产素，常被称为亲密激素，会上升。

Oxytocin, often called the bonding hormone, increases.

心率变得更平稳。

Our heart rate becomes steadier.

呼吸会变慢。

Our breathing slows.

有些研究者把这称为共同调节。

Some researchers describe this as co regulation.

这个想法就是，我们的神经系统天生就是为了互相安抚而设计的。

The idea that our nervous systems are designed to help calm one another.

我们花了太多时间试图独自调节自己，以至于忘了人类一直以来的稳定方式之一就是通过他人。

We spend so much time trying to regulate ourselves in isolation that we forget one of the ways humans have always found stability is through other people.

我觉得我们的文化常常无意中教会我们，坚强就意味着独自承担一切。

I think our culture tends to accidentally teach us that strength means handing everything on our own.

我们崇尚独立。

We admire independence.

我们赞美自给自足。

We celebrate self sufficiency.

我们告诉自己不应该需要任何其他东西。

We tell ourselves we shouldn't need anything else.

但人类从来就不是为了在孤立中疗愈而设计的。

But human beings were never designed to heal in isolation.

我见过的一些最坚强的人，并不是那些从不寻求帮助的人。

Some of the strongest people I've met aren't the ones who never ask for help.

他们是那些知道什么时候该依靠爱他们的人的人。

They're the ones who know when to lean on the people who love them.

所以别再等到你有更多时间才去经营你的关系了。

So stop waiting until you have more time for your relationships.

关系不是靠大量的空闲时间来加强的。

Relationships aren't strengthened by having huge amounts of free time.

它们是通过一次次关注和陪伴的时刻来加强的。

They're strengthened by repeated moments of attention and presence.

一条贴心的信息，一次一起散步，漫长一天结束时的五分钟，这些小小的时刻单独来看往往感觉微不足道。

A thoughtful message, a shared walk, five minutes at the end of a long day, those small moments rarely feel significant in isolation.

但经过数月和数年，它们就成为了真正连接的基石。

But over months and years, they become the foundation of real connection.

它们提醒我们，我们从来就不该独自承担所有重担。

They remind us that we were never meant to carry every burden alone.

有时候，感觉好起来的最快方式并不是找到正确的答案。

And sometimes the fastest way to feel better isn't finding the right answer.