我人生中最重要的一年教会了我什么

嘿，我是杰。

Hey, it's Jay.

我不知道你今天过得怎么样，但我刚才想你了。

I don't know what your day's been like, but I was just thinking about you for a minute.

我希望你能对自己多一点耐心，因为你值得。

And I hope you're being a little patient with yourself because you deserve it.

对，我很快会再联系你的。

And, yeah, I'll talk to you soon.

嘿。

Hey.

这周末是我生日，每年这个时候，我都会试着退一步，诚实地回顾一下过去的一年。

It's my birthday this weekend, and every year around this time, I try to step back and take an honest look at the year I've just lived.

生活有时候感觉像一阵旋风，尤其是过去这一年，我忙得不可开交。

Life can feel like a bit of a whirlwind sometimes and especially this past year, I had more going on than ever before.

当有这么多事情发生、这么多变化的时候，花点时间反思一下自己现在的生活状态，迎接新的一年，就显得比以往任何时候都重要了。

When there's so much happening and so much change, it's more important than ever to take a little bit of time and reflect on where I am right now in my life as I enter the next year ahead.

我希望如果你的生日快到了，你也会这样做。

I hope that if your birthday is around the corner, you do the same.

即使你的生日还早，我希望这能激励你退一步，反思一下。

And even if it's not for a while, hope I this inspires you to take a step back and reflect.

过去的三百六十五天是我人生中最重要的日子之一。

The last three sixty five days have been some of the biggest of my life.

《On Purpose》与Netflix和Spotify合作，开启了新的篇章。

On Purpose entered a new chapter with Netflix and Spotify.

我们完成了横跨北美和加拿大的播客巡演。

We wrapped a podcast tour across North America and Canada.

我旅行的次数超出了我以前认为人类可能的极限。

I traveled more than I ever knew was humanly possible.

我尝试了新的节目形式，也遇到了一些一年前我根本无法想象的绝佳机会。

I experimented with new show formats, and I had some incredible opportunities that I couldn't have even imagined for myself just a year ago.

研究人员把生日描述为时间上的里程碑，这些时刻把我们的生活划分为之前和之后。

Researchers describe birthdays as temporal landmarks, moments that divide our lives into a before and an after.

大多数日子都混在一起，但生日会在那种势头中创造出一个自然的停顿。

Most days blend into one another, but a birthday creates a natural pause in that momentum.

它给了我们一个机会，在开始思考下一步想去哪里之前，回顾一下我们走过的路。

It gives us an opportunity to look back at where we have been before we begin thinking about where we want to go next.

我觉得这就是为什么生日既让人兴奋，有时又有点让人不舒服。

I think that's why birthdays can feel both exciting and sometimes a little uncomfortable.

你会反思发生的一切，但你的脑海里也会浮现出那些没有实现的事情。

You reflect on everything that happened, but your mind also brings up everything that didn't come to be.

你会把今天的生活和你曾经想象的生活进行比较。

You compare the life you have today with the one you once pictured.

你会想到那些进入你生活的人，以及那些感觉已经不再一样的感情。

You think about the people who entered your life and the relationships that no longer feel the same.

我发现，一个重要的年份可能会带来令人兴奋的结果，但它也对你的品格提出了更高的要求。

I've found that a big year may bring exciting outcomes, but it also asks more from your character.

当我回顾过去时，我意识到有五条关键的经验教训，让我在这一年经历的一切中保持脚踏实地。

As I've been looking back, I've realized there were five key lessons that kept me grounded through everything this year brought.

它们影响了我如何工作、尝试什么、如何做决定、把精力放在哪里，以及在我生活变化时希望谁在我身边。

They influenced how I worked, what I tried, how I made decisions, where I placed my energy, and who I wanted around me while my life was changing.

所以，今天分享这些经验时，我希望你想想自己希望迎来怎样的一年。

So as I share what I've learned today, I want you to think about the year ahead you hope to have.

你对“重要的一年”的定义，对你自己来说是独一无二的。

Your version of a big year will be personal to you.

你可能想换职业、创业、成为父母、重建健康、加深某段关系，或者终于去实现一个你多年来一直在想的想法。

You may want to change careers, start a business, become a parent, rebuild your health, deepen a relationship, or finally act on an idea you've been thinking about for years.

今天这期节目的目标，就是利用我学到的这些，帮你找出那些能推动你生活前进的选择。

The goal of today's episode is to use what I've learned to help you identify the choices that could move your own life forward.

那我们就开始吧。

So let's get into it.

首先，我想从一个我花了七年才完全理解的教训讲起。

And first, I wanna start with the lesson that took me seven years to fully understand.

第一个教训是这样的。

The first lesson is this.

在考虑职业时，要关注你正在积累的技能和你愿意做的工作。

When thinking about your career, follow the skills you're building and the work you're willing to do.

七年前我创办《On Purpose》时，大约有70万个播客。

When I launched On Purpose seven years ago, there were approximately 700,000 podcasts.

我记得有人指着这个数字，说这个行业已经饱和了。

I remember people pointing to that number as proof that the industry was already oversaturated.

节目太多，竞争太激烈，另一个播客很难脱颖而出。

There were too many shows, too much competition, and very little chance that another podcast would stand out.

如果竞争对手的数量是决定我未来的最重要因素，那么《On Purpose》的结果应该差十倍。

If the number of competitors had been the most important factor in deciding my future, the outcome for On Purpose should have been 10 times worse.

但今年，《On Purpose》进入了它迄今为止最辉煌的篇章。

Instead, this year, On Purpose entered its biggest chapter yet.

当初给我建议的人，只能根据他们当时的局限和思维来评估那个行业的现状。

The people giving me advice back in the beginning could evaluate the industry as it existed at that moment by their limitations and their mind.

但我必须评估自己与这份工作的关系。

But I had to evaluate my relationship with the work.

我之前已经有研究思想、演讲、采访别人、制作视频，以及把古老的智慧转化成人们能应用到生活中的语言的经验。

I already had experience studying ideas, speaking, interviewing people, creating videos, and translating ancient wisdom into language people could apply to their lives.

播客给了我另一个地方来使用和发展这些技能。

Podcasting gave me another place to use and develop those skills.

但我知道这是一场艰难的战斗，我也必须问自己是否愿意坚持做足够久，直到变得擅长。

But knowing it was an uphill battle, I also had to ask whether I was willing to do the work for long enough to become good.

播客看起来可能只是坐下来聊聊天，但在那场对话背后，是数小时的研究、准备、倾听、回顾、打磨，然后下周再回来重复这一切。

A podcast may look like just sitting down and having a conversation, but behind that conversation are hours of research, preparation, listening, reviewing, refining, and returning to do it again the following week.

是的，竞争激烈的领域确实会让成功更难，但那些数字无法衡量你对那个领域的潜在贡献。

Yes, a crowded field can make success harder, but those numbers cannot measure your potential contribution to that field.

这就是我在第一课中想探讨的区别。

This is the distinction I want to explore in this first lesson.

当你在决定自己的人生方向时，你通常会看两个地方。

When you're deciding what to do with your lives, you often look in one of two places.

你向外看，问别人怎么想，或者你向内看，问自己想做什么。

You look outside of yourselves and ask what everyone else thinks, or you look inside yourself and ask what you feel like doing.

如果你随大流，可能会因为大家都说某个行业有前景、稳定、体面或者赚钱而进入那个领域。

If you follow the crowd, you may enter a field because everyone says it's growing, stable, impressive, or profitable.

然后趋势变了，进展比预期慢，你发现自己从来没有真正喜欢过这份工作。

Then the trend changes, progress takes longer than expected, and you realize that you never develop a real connection to the work.

你选择了人人都看得到的机会，却没有问自己是否适合做那份工作。

You went for the opportunity everyone could identify without asking whether you were suited to the work required to reach it.

反过来，大众也可能因为某个领域看起来太饱和、太难或者太另类而劝你放弃。

On the flip side, the crowd can also discourage you from something because it looks overdone, difficult or unconventional.

你甚至还没给自己一个变优秀的机会就放弃了。

You may give up before you even give yourself a chance to be great.

从这个意义上说，你让行业的现状决定了你有可能取得什么成就。

In that sense, allowing the current state of an industry to decide what you may be capable of achieving.

跟着感觉走又会带来另一个问题。

Following your feelings creates yet a different problem.

你可能对一个想法充满热情，但对它背后的日常工作毫无兴趣。

You can feel passionate about an idea and still have no interest in the daily work behind it.

你可能喜欢当企业家的想法，但不喜欢销售、管理或解决问题。

You may love the idea of being an entrepreneur but dislike selling, managing, or problem solving.

你可能梦想写一本书，但完全抗拒独自坐几个小时去打磨同一个故事。

You may dream about writing a book but completely resist sitting alone for hours working on the same story.

职业生涯是通过头衔背后的工作来体验的。

A career is lived through the work behind the title.

所以，一时的感觉不能替你做出全部决定。

That's why a temporary feeling cannot make the whole decision for you.

本期《On Purpose》由Mazdausa为您呈现。

This episode of On Purpose is presented to you by Mazdausa.

内心的平静不是偶然得来的。

Peace of mind doesn't happen by chance.

它是在我们需要之前就建立起来的习惯中创造出来的。

It's created through the habits we build before we ever need them.

这就是每一辆马自达背后的理念。

That's the philosophy behind every Mazda.

凭借那些主动安全功能，让你更警觉、更互联、更投入，马自达让你对前方的路充满信心。

With proactive safety features that help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged, Mazda helps you feel ready for whatever the road brings.

这就是为什么马自达被评为《消费者报告》最安全的新车品牌。

It's why Mazda has been named Consumer reports safest new car brand.

而且截至2026年7月，马自达获得的2026年IIHS顶级安全之选+奖项数量超过了其他任何汽车品牌。

And as of July 2026, Mazda has won more 2026 IIHS top safety pick plus awards than any other car brand.

想了解更多，请访问 www.iihs.org。

Visit www.iihs.org to learn more.

当事故没有发生时，很多事情都可能发生。

A lot can happen when an accident doesn't.

想了解更多，请访问 mazdausa.com。

Visit mazdausa.com to learn more.

《消费者报告》不认可任何产品或服务。

Consumer reports does not endorse products or services.

多年来，我收到了各种各样的建议。

Over the years, I've received all sorts of advice.

有人告诉我避开那些最终成为我生活中重要部分的事情，也有人鼓励我去追求那些最终没有成功的想法。

I've been told to avoid things that eventually became meaningful parts of my life, and I've been encouraged to pursue ideas that didn't work out.

我开始信任的模式是能力与坚持之间的联系。

The pattern I began trusting was the connection between competence and consistency.

我开始关注自己在哪些方面变得更好，以及哪些事情我愿意反复去做。

I began to pay attention to what I was becoming better at and what I remained willing to do repeatedly.

我明白了，这就是成功的秘诀。

This I have learned is the formula to success.

随着时间的推移，每一期《On Purpose》都帮助我更仔细地倾听，提出更好的问题，组织更好的对话，并理解我们的听众觉得什么有用。

With time, every episode of On Purpose helped me listen more closely, ask better questions, structure better conversations, and understand what our audience found useful.

我变得越来越有能力，同时我也发现自己愿意继续做这份工作。

I became more and more competent, and I also discovered that I was willing to keep doing the work.

我愿意为下一次采访做准备，研究另一位嘉宾，了解YouTube、TikTok和Instagram，录制另一期独播，回顾可以改进的地方，并在下周回来。

I was willing to prepare for another interview, study another guest, understand YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram, record another solo, review what could be improved, and return the following week.

我保持了坚持。

I remained consistent.

光有能力而不坚持，很少能有足够的时间去发展。

Competence without consistency rarely has enough time to develop.

你可能天生有才能，但因为不练习，水平就一直停留在原地。

You can have natural ability and remain at the same level because you don't practice.

而只有坚持却没有能力，也可能让你一直重复一种需要改变的方法。

And consistency without competence can also keep you repeating an approach that needs to change.

你既需要自我认知，去发现自己的长处，也需要足够的谦逊，去不断提升它。

You need both self awareness to recognize where you have ability and enough humility to keep improving it.

这样你就能用一种更有用的方式来看待自己的职业生涯。

This gives you a more useful way to think about your own career.

先从能力开始。

Begin with competence.

你已经在哪些方面展现出了才能？

Where do you already have evidence of ability?

大家一直信任你做什么？

What do people consistently trust you to do?

哪些技能在你持续投入注意力时会得到提升？

Which skills improve when you give them sustained attention?

然后考虑一下持续性。

Then consider consistency.

你愿意重复做哪类工作？

Which kind of work are you willing to repeat?

当新鲜感消退后，什么仍然让你觉得有趣？

What remains interesting after the novelty fades?

哪些挑战让你想要进步，而不是想要放弃？

Which challenges make you want to improve instead of making you want to quit?

也许有某件事你很喜欢，但目前能力还很不足。

There may be something you love that you currently have very little ability in.

你可以把它当作爱好来享受，也可以投入必要的努力去变得更好。

You can enjoy it as a hobby, or you can put in the work required to become better.

或者，也可能有某件事你天生擅长，但就是讨厌去做。

Or there may also be something you're naturally good at that you hate doing.

别人可能会看到你的天赋，但光有天赋并不能让这份工作让你感到满足。

Other people may recognize your talent, but talent alone won't make the experience fulfilling.

当你找到一件你既有能力做、又渴望提升、还愿意持续练习的事情时，最强的信号就出现了。

The strongest signal appears when you find something you have the ability to do, the desire to improve, and the willingness to practice it consistently.

这种组合能给你一个可以不断发展的基础，即使行业、平台和周围的观点都在变化。

That combination gives you something to build on even when industries, platforms, and opinions change around you.

所以，当你考虑下一步职业发展时，不要只看这个行业是否拥挤或热门。

So when you consider your next career move, look beyond whether an industry is crowded or popular.

不要只看职位名称听起来有多吸引人。

Look beyond how exciting the title sounds.

要仔细看看实际的工作内容。

Look closely at the actual work.

正是这一点帮助《On Purpose》在今年达到了新的高峰。

That's what helped On Purpose reach a new peak this year.

能力加上坚持，创造了一个外界观点无法预测的机会。

Competence mixed with consistency helped create an opportunity that outside opinions couldn't predict.

不要随大流。

Don't follow the crowd.

不要凭感觉走。

Don't follow a feeling.

要跟着你正在培养的技能和你愿意付出的努力走。

Follow the skills you're building and the work you're willing to do.

不要让别人的意见决定你的未来。

Don't let other people's opinions decide your future.

也不要让你的情绪决定你的未来。

And don't let your emotions decide your future either.

让你的品格、技能和坚持来决定。

Let your character, your skills and your consistency decide it.

你的未来不会由别人的建议或今天的情绪来构建。

Your future won't be built by other people's advice or today's emotions.

它是由你掌握的技能和你重复付出的努力来构建的。

It will be built by the skills you master and the effort you repeat.

如果你随大流，可能会太早放弃。

If you follow the crowd, you may give up too soon.

如果只凭直觉行事，也可能会被误导。

And if you follow just your gut, you may be misled.

一旦你找到值得认真对待的工作，你就能发现其中哪些想法会成功。

Once you find work worth taking seriously, you're then able to discover which ideas within it will succeed.

这种发现来自于实验，这就引出了第二个教训。

That discovery comes through experimentation, which brings me to the second lesson.

第二个教训是：选择真实的经验，而不是过度的准备。

The second lesson is this: Choose real experience over excessive preparation.

这听起来可能有点冒险，但请听我说完。

That may sound risky, but hear me out.

我宁愿要三十天的真实经验，也不要十二个月的过度思考。

I would rather have thirty days of real experience than twelve months of overthinking.

今年我做过最有价值的事情之一就是进行实验。

One of the most valuable things I did this year was experiment.

我探索了新的形式、社交创意、电视节目概念，以及扩展目标和其他事物的不同方式。

I explored new formats, social ideas, television concepts, and different ways to expand on purpose and other things.

有些成功了，很多没成功，还有几个可能永远不会被观众看到。

Some worked, many didn't, and several will probably never even be seen by an audience.

这就是大年份里人们很少看到的部分。

That's the part of a big year people rarely see.

当你看到别人的生活时，你只看到那些成功的想法。

When you look at someone else's life, you only see the ideas that made it.

你看到的是发布的节目、开张的生意、出版的书，或者宣布的机会。

You see the show that was released, the business that opened, the book that was published, or the opportunity that was announced.

你看不到被拒绝的提案、从未使用的录音、失去动力的概念，或者花了几个月开发但最终没有实现的东西。

You don't see the proposals that were declined, the recordings that were never used, the concepts that lost momentum, or the months spent developing something that ultimately never came to be.

这些缺失的信息会让别人的成功看起来轻松而必然。

That missing information can make another person's success feel smooth and inevitable.

这也会让你自己的失败尝试看起来像是你做错了什么的证据。

It can also make your own failed attempts feel like evidence that you're doing something wrong.

如果我只分享今年成功的部分，你可能会以为我有某种特殊能力，能预知哪些想法会成功。

If I only share the successful parts of this year, you might assume I possess an unusual ability to predict which ideas will work.

但实际上我的经历要混乱得多。

My real experience is much messier.

说实话，在过去三百六十五天里，我失败的想法比成功发布的还多，更别提过去七年了。

The truth is I have failed at more ideas than I have successfully released in the past three sixty five days what to speak of the last seven years.

别误会，当我相信的事情没有成功时，我依然会感到失望。

And don't get me wrong, I still feel disappointed when something I believe in doesn't work out.

被拒绝从来都不是什么令人兴奋的事，但改变的是我对单个结果的重视程度。

Rejection's never exciting, but what has changed is the amount of meaning I assign to a single result.

如果一年里我尝试了十件事，其中一件创造了惊人的成果，那这一件事就能改变我整个未来的方向。

If I try 10 things during a year and one creates something amazing, that one thing can change the direction of my entire future.

而其他九件并不是失败。

And the nine others weren't failures.

它们要么给了我信息，要么磨炼了我的判断力，要么提升了我的技能，要么建立了新的联系，要么引导我走向了最终成功的尝试。

They either gave me information, sharpened my judgment, improved my skills, built a new connection, or led me toward the attempt that finally connected.

如果你一整年只尝试一件事，那这次尝试就会背负巨大的压力。

If you try only one thing during the entire year, that attempt begins carrying enormous pressure.

你会花几个月去思考它、准备它，并围绕它建立各种期待。

You spend months thinking about it, preparing for it, and building your expectations around it.

如果失败了，你可能会觉得这一年都白费了。

If it fails, you may feel as though the entire year has been awash.

但如果你更频繁地尝试新事物，你就能分散情感上的风险。

But if you try new things more often, you distribute the emotional risk.

每一次尝试都成为更大过程的一部分。

Each attempt becomes one part of a larger process.

你可以对结果感到失望，而不必把结果变成对自己才能或未来的定论。

You can feel disappointed by a result without turning the result into a conclusion about your talent or future.

这就是过度思考成为问题的地方。

This is where overthinking becomes a problem.

思考是有价值的，当它帮助你准备、预见挑战并谨慎行动时。

Thinking is valuable when it helps you prepare, anticipate challenges, and act with care.

当你反复回到同样的问题，而不让经验给你带来新信息时，思考就变成了限制。

It becomes limiting when you keep returning to the same questions without allowing experience to give you new information.

我可能会反复纠结我做的视频会不会表现好。

I can overthink and overthink about whether a video I make will perform well.

但归根结底，不管我怎么比较或试图预测数据，最好的办法就是直接发布。

But at the end of the day, no matter what I compare it to or try to predict data wise, the best way to find out is just by putting it up.

过度思考让所有可能性都悬而未决。

Overthinking allows every possibility to remain alive.

经验会开始告诉你哪些可能性更值得你花时间。

Experience begins showing you which possibilities deserve more of your time.

也许你会发现观众的反应和预期不同，或者某个技能需要更多练习，或者目标的现实和想象中不一样。

Maybe you discover that the audience responds differently than expected, or that a skill needs more work, or that the reality of a goal feels different from the fantasy.

一个月的经验能教会你十二个月的过度思考永远学不到的东西。

One month of experience can teach you what twelve months of overthinking never could.

因为经验会带来细节。

Because experience introduces details.

它会告诉你哪个问题是真实的，哪个恐惧被夸大了，以及过程中哪个部分让你有足够的动力继续下去。

It reveals which problem is real, which fear was exaggerated, and which part of the process energizes you enough to continue.

所以，我想给你一个练习。

So here's a practice I want to give you.

选一个你一直在琢磨的想法，设计一个三十天的实验。

Choose one idea you've been circling and design a thirty day experiment.

也许就是每天在社交媒体上发帖。

Maybe it's posting on social media every day.

也许就是每天联系潜在客户。

Maybe it's reaching out to potential customers every day.

也许就是每天在LinkedIn上给新人发消息。

Maybe it's messaging a new person on LinkedIn every day.

不管是什么，别再告诉自己需要更多证据才能开始，直接迈出这小小的一步吧。

Whatever it is, stop convincing yourself you need more evidence before starting and start just taking this small leap.

三十天结束后，问问自己有什么让你感到意外？

At the end of the thirty days, ask yourself what surprised you?

别人对什么有反应？

What did other people respond to?

你是想继续、调整，还是转向别的事情？

Do you want to continue, adjust, or pivot to something else?

三十天的真实体验，可能让你免于多年执着于一个想象中的目标。

Thirty days of honest experience may save you from spending years attached to an imagined version of a goal.

它也能让你不再纠结，如果当初试了会怎样。

It can also release you from wondering what would have happened if you had only tried.

你无法控制哪个想法会打开一扇门，但你可以增加敲门的次数。

You cannot control which idea will open a door, but you can increase how many doors you knock on.

每一次尝试，都让想要的结果多一次机会。

Every attempt gives the desired outcome another chance.

我宁愿要三十天的真实体验，也不要十二个月的过度思考。

I'd rather have thirty days of real experience than twelve months of overthinking.

我三十天里尝试的，比大多数人一年尝试的还多。

I try more in thirty days than most people will try in a year.

大多数人花一年时间做决定。

Most people spend one year deciding.

我花一个月去探索。

I spend one month discovering.

一个月的实践能教会你一年思考都学不到的东西。

One month of doing can teach you what a year of thinking never will.

生活奖励那些学得快的人，而不是犹豫最久的人。

Life rewards the people who learn the fastest, not the people who hesitate the longest.

不断尝试，不断尝试，再不断尝试。

Experiment, experiment, experiment.

我最喜欢的一句话是：专家尝试的次数比新手失败的次数还多。

One of my favorite quotes is this, the expert has tried more times than the beginner has failed.

如果一年里我尝试十件事，其中一件成功了，那就足够了。

If I try 10 things in one year and one works, that's all that matters.

但如果你一年只尝试一件事，结果没成，你会很沮丧。

But if you try one thing in one year and it doesn't work, you feel disheartened.

我们得习惯多做事，多被拒绝。

We have to get really comfortable doing more and getting rejected more.

概率法则——门只有你去敲才会开。

The law of odds doors only open when you knock on them.

继续走那些为你敞开的大门。

Just keep walking through the ones that remain open for you.

这其实引出了我的第三个教训。

Which actually leads to my third lesson.

第三个教训是这样的。

The third lesson is this.

你不可能知道每个决定都会带来你想要的结果，但你需要相信自己，无论如何都要做出决定。

You cannot know whether every decision will produce the outcome you want, but you need to trust yourself to just make the decision anyway.

今年我做了很多决定。

This year required a lot of decisions from me.

每个新机会都带来了关于时机、方向、责任，以及这个选择会如何影响我整个生活的问题。

Every new opportunity raised questions about timing, direction, responsibility, and how the choice would affect my entire life around it.

我处理了大合同、新员工、团队扩张、新的商业关系，还有很多风险很高的选择。

I dealt with big contracts, new hires, team expansion, new business relationships, and a lot of choices that held really high stakes.

有些决定感觉很清楚，而另一些在签字之后很久仍然很复杂。

Some decisions felt clear, while others remained complicated long after the pen was put to paper.

很长一段时间，我以为一个正确的决定会立刻带来如释重负的感觉。

For a long time I imagined that a correct decision would produce an immediate feeling of relief.

但经验告诉我，重要的决定即使在墨水干了之后，也常常仍然让人感到不确定。

But experience has taught me that meaningful decisions often continue to feel uncertain even after the ink has dried.

这并不意味着你做了错误的决定。

That doesn't mean you've made the wrong call.

这是我想说的第一个区别。

This is the first distinction I want to make.

做决定后的不适感是信息，但不总是判决。

Discomfort after a decision is information, but it isn't always a verdict.

有时候，不适感揭示了一个真正需要你注意的问题，但有时候，它只是反映了进入陌生领域的正常压力。

Sometimes discomfort reveals a real problem that requires your attention, but sometimes it just reflects the normal strain of entering unfamiliar territory.

如果你把每一种不舒服的情绪都当成选错了的证据，你就会一直纠结于那个决定，而不是全身心投入到随之而来的生活中。

If you interpret every uncomfortable emotion as proof that you chose incorrectly, you will keep returning to the decision instead of fully participating in the life that follows it.

你会把精力花在反复琢磨同样的问题上。

You will spend your energy exploring the same questions.

你甚至可能不给自己一个机会，去真正把这个决定贯彻到底。

You may not even give yourself a chance to fully see the decision through.

安妮·杜克的书《如何做决定》里有一个我非常喜欢的观点，它让我更清楚地理解了这一点。

There's one idea that I love from Annie Duke's book How to Decide and it helped me understand this more clearly.

她提到一种叫做“结果导向”的错误，就是完全根据结果来判断一个决定的好坏。

She writes about a mistake called resulting which happens when we judge the quality of a decision entirely by its outcome.

我们认为好的结果证明我们选对了，而令人失望的结果则证明我们选错了。

We think a good result becomes proof that we chose wisely while a disappointing result becomes proof that we choose poorly.

想象一下，你上班快迟到了，开到停车标志前。

Imagine you're running late for work and approach a stop sign.

你没停下来，直接开过去了，没有车过来，你准时到了。

You roll through without stopping, no cars are coming and you arrive on time.

结果对你有利，虽然运气保护了一个鲁莽的决定。

The outcome worked in your favor, although luck protected a reckless decision.

现在想象一下，你完全停下来，遵守规则，几秒钟后却被一个分心的司机撞了。

Now imagine you stop, fully, follow the law, and a distracted driver crashes into you a few seconds later.

结果很糟糕，但你做决定的过程仍然是负责任的。

The outcome's terrible, but the process behind your decision was still responsible.

同样的错误在我们生活中更情绪化的领域也经常出现。

The same error appears in much more emotional areas of our lives.

想象一下，有人决定是否要离开一份工作。

Imagine someone deciding whether to leave a job.

他们研究自己的财务状况，了解风险，和信任的人交谈，并意识到这份工作正在影响他们的心理健康。

They study their finances, understand the risks, speak with people they trust, and recognize that the role is affecting their mental health.

他们离开了，加入了一家初创公司，而这家公司六个月后就倒闭了。

They leave, join a startup, and the startup closes six months later.

他们可能会花很多年告诉自己，他们做了错误的决定。

They may spend years telling themselves that they made the wrong decision.

但实际上，令人失望的结果并不能抹去你做选择时的那份用心。

But in reality, the disappointing outcome doesn't erase the care with which the choice was made.

另一些人可能因为害怕而留在痛苦的工作中。

Someone else may remain in a miserable job because fear prevents them from leaving.

一年后他们意外加薪，于是觉得留下来是明智的。

A year later they receive an unexpected pay rise and conclude that staying was wise.

升职可能是运气好，但这并不能说明恐惧是否应该继续替你做决定。

The promotion may be fortunate and it doesn't tell them whether fear should continue making their decisions.

事实是，你永远无法控制结果，但你可以控制准备和投入，用逻辑思考什么能让你最有可能成功。

The truth is you can never control the outcome, but you can control the preparation and dedication it takes to think logically about what will set you up for the highest likelihood of success.

你需要考虑两个不同的阶段。

There are two different stages you need to consider.

做决定之前，你的责任是收集有用的信息，审视自己的动机，考虑风险，并选择符合你价值观的方向。

Before a decision, your responsibility is to gather useful information, examine your motives, consider the risks, and choose in alignment with your values.

做决定之后，你的责任是保持关注，全心投入，并对你学到的东西做出回应。

After a decision, your responsibility is to pay attention, participate fully, and respond to what you learn.

我学到的是，做决定意味着给它一个真正发挥作用的机会，同时保持对有意义的新信息的敏感。

I've learned that making a decision means giving it a genuine chance to work while remaining responsive to meaningful new information.

坚持很重要，因为很多选择需要时间和努力才能产生有意义的结果。

Commitment is crucial because many choices need time and effort before they produce anything meaningful.

新工作在你还在学习角色的时候可能会让人感到不舒服。

A new job can feel uncomfortable while you still learn the role.

搬家在建立社区之前可能会让人感到孤独。

A move can feel lonely before you build community.

如果你以前的关系是有毒的，健康的关系可能会让人不安。

A healthy relationship can be unsettling if your previous relationships were toxic.

这并不意味着这些选择是错误的。

It doesn't mean these were the wrong choices.

我们很多人拖延决定，是因为想消除后悔的可能性。

Many of us delay decisions because we want to eliminate the possibility of regret.

但那种可能性在每条路上都存在。

But that possibility remains present on every path.

即使不做任何选择，也会有某个时刻让你好奇那条没走的路会怎样。

Even making no choice at all contains moments when you wonder about the road you didn't take.

所以，如果你有一个重大决定要做，我的建议是：

So if you have a big decision coming up, here's my advice.

定一个日期，在那之前做出决定。

Choose a date by which you will decide.

收集你能获得的信息。

Gather the information available to you.

写下你希望得到的结果。

Write down what you hope the outcome will be.

写下你愿意为每个选择承担的风险，然后做出决定。

Write down the risks you're okay taking on for either choice, then make the call.

我还建议你想象一下，三个月后、三年后醒来，问问自己，无论结果如何，你会怎么看待这两个选择。

What I encourage you to do is also imagine yourself waking up three months from now, three years from now, and asking yourself how you'll feel about either decision regardless of the result.

然后，安排一个未来的时间点重新评估，如果需要调整方向的话。

From there, schedule a future time to reassess if you need to pivot.

在那之前，不要质疑你的选择。

Then don't question your choice until then.

给自己一个真正的机会。

Give yourself a real chance.

在到达那个预定的重新评估日期之前，全身心投入，让那个决定奏效。

Fully dedicate your energy into making that decision work until you've reached that predetermined date to reassess.

对我来说，我知道在过去一年里，做出重大决定后我多次调整方向，但我并不后悔在任何一个决定上花费的时间和精力。

For me, I know I've pivoted many times after big decisions were made this past year, but I don't regret the time or energy I spent on any of them.

一切只是让我获得了更多的智慧和清晰，知道如何更好地前进。

Everything simply brought me to more wisdom and clarity about how better to move forward.

在做决定之前，你永远不知道它是否正确，但做出决定后，你可以让它变得正确。

You never know if a decision is right before you make it, but you can make it right after you make the decision.

如果你做不到，也没关系，快速调整就好。

And if you don't, it's fine pivot quickly.

大多数决定在做出那一刻并没有绝对的对错。

Most decisions aren't right or wrong the moment you make them.

它们是通过投入而变得正确，或者因为固执而变得错误。

They become right through commitment or wrong through stubbornness.

记住，美好的生活不是建立在完美的决定上的。

Remember a good life isn't built on perfect decisions.

而是建立在明智的调整上。

It's built on wise adjustments.

这就引出了我的第四条经验，而这可能是我今年最需要提醒自己的一条。

This brings me to my fourth lesson and this actually may be the one I've had to remind myself of the most this year.

第四条经验是：选择你想在哪些方面表现出色，并接受人生的每个阶段都会有精力上的取舍。

The fourth lesson is this: Choose where you want to be exceptional and accept that every season of life will have energy trade offs.

今年有些时候，我的日程表上排满了我曾经期盼的事情。

There were periods this year when my calendar contained many of the things I'd once hoped for.

但说实话，也有那么些时刻，我看着那张日程表，心里在想，我生活的其他部分该往哪儿放。

But if I'm being honest, there were also moments when I looked at that calendar and wondered where the rest of my life was supposed to fit.

平衡以及你如何找到它，会随着你生活的不断变化而起伏不定。

Balance and how you find it is something that will ebb and flow as your life continues to evolve.

在我职业生涯刚开始的时候，我每天工作十八个小时，一周七天不休息。

At the beginning of my career, I worked eighteen hour days, seven days a week.

那种专注帮我积累了技能，也带来了动力，但那样下去根本撑不住。

That level of focus helped me build skills and create momentum, but it was also unsustainable.

后来我慢慢意识到，那样的工作方式没办法支撑我想要的生活的方方面面。

Over time I recognized the way I was working couldn't support every part of the life I wanted.

我开始把周末要回来。

I began taking back my weekends.

再后来，我也开始保护自己的晚上时间。

Later I became more protective of my evenings.

每一次改变都需要我决定，我想把最好的精力放在哪里，又愿意在哪里接受做得少一点。

Each change required a decision about where I wanted my best energy to go and where I was willing to accept doing less.

这个教训分两部分。

This lesson is two parts.

第一部分是接受一个事实：每一个重要的优先事项都会带来取舍。

The first is accepting that every meaningful priority creates a trade off.

第二点是，要把这些取舍沟通清楚，这样忙碌的阶段才不会毁掉你正在努力建立的生活。

The second is communicating those trade offs so that a demanding season doesn't damage the life you're trying to build.

我们经常谈论平衡，好像生活中每个重要的部分每天都要得到同等的关注。

We often talk about balance as though every important part of life should receive an equal amount of attention each day.

但这种期望会让一个普通的工作日感觉像是一种失败。

But that expectation can make an ordinary weekday feel like a failure.

你结束了一天辛苦的工作，却因为没给家人打电话、没锻炼、没见朋友、没做饭、没读书、没冥想、没睡够八小时而感到内疚。

You finish a demanding day at work and feel guilty that you didn't call your family, exercise, see a friend, cook dinner, read, meditate, and get eight hours of sleep.

一天的时间不可能让你把每个在乎的角色都做到最好。

A single day cannot contain every role you care about at its highest level.

但如果把时间拉长来看，平衡就变得容易理解了。

But balance becomes easier to understand across a longer period.

可能有一段时间，新生儿需要你大部分的注意力；可能有一段时间，健康成了优先事项；也可能有一段时间，某个机会需要你在事业上投入更多。

There may be a season when a new child requires most of your attention, a season when your health becomes the priority, or a season when an opportunity asks more from your career.

它总是在不断起伏变化。

It will constantly ebb and flow.

你的精力分配需要改变，因为生活的需求在变化。

The distribution of your energy needs to change because the needs of your life change.

关键问题是，你是带着意识去选择这种分配，还是让最响亮的那个需求替你决定。

The important question is whether you choose the distribution with awareness or allow the loudest demand to choose it for you.

过去这一年确实很辛苦，而辛苦的阶段需要有目的。

This past year was definitely demanding and a demanding season needs a purpose.

你需要明白为什么要进入这个阶段，以及你希望这些额外的努力能带来什么。

You need to understand why you're entering it and what you hope the increased effort will create.

它也需要一个时间框架，因为“这只是个忙碌的阶段”可能会变成你年复一年重复的借口。

It also needs a time frame because this is just a busy season can become an explanation you repeat for years.

相信我，这也是我有时仍在努力的事情。

And trust me, that's something I'm still working on sometimes.

这就是为什么在生日这样的里程碑时刻，花点时间真正反思并重新调整我的时间优先级很重要。

That's why it's important to take moments like this when a milestone such as a birthday comes along to really reflect and reset on the priorities for my time.

我是否需要把某个工作日晚上留给工作，这样周末就能完全放松？

Do I need to dedicate one weeknight to work so I can fully unplug on weekends?

我需要把健身时间提前一点，这样才能和妻子悠闲地吃早餐吗？

Do I need to schedule my gym time a bit earlier so I can have a relaxed breakfast with my wife?

我需要拒绝一次出差，确保能参加朋友的生日聚会吗？

Do I need to say no to a business trip to make sure I attend a friend's birthday party?

这些是我在展望新的一年时，需要审视自己日常安排的问题。

These are the questions I now need to interrogate as I look at my routines going forward into this next year.

当你调整和改变自己的精力分配时，最重要的是和你最亲近的人沟通。

What's most important as you shift and change your energy is that you communicate it with the people closest to you.

如果接下来的两个月工作需要更多出差或更长的工时，提前告诉他们，别让缺席成为意外。

If work will require more travel or longer days for the next two months, share that before your absence becomes a surprise.

谈谈你会继续保护什么，以及当这个阶段过去后，你会如何重新连接。

Talk about what you will continue protecting and how you will reconnect when the season changes.

本期节目由马自达赞助播出。

This episode is brought to you by Mazda.

生活中一些最美好的时刻，往往是因为一切顺利才发生的。

Some of life's best moments happen because nothing went wrong.

开车回家，聊不完的话题，计划也完全按原样进行。

The drive home, the conversation that continues, the plans that stay exactly as planned.

这就是安全感。

That's the feeling of safety.

每辆马自达都配备了主动安全功能，让你在驾驶时更警觉、更专注、更投入，从而在路上更有信心。

Every Mazda is designed with proactive safety features that help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged with your drive, so you can feel confident on the road.

这就是为什么马自达被评为《消费者报告》最安全的新车品牌。

That's why Mazda has been named Consumer reports safest new car brand.

截至2026年7月，他们获得的2026年IIHS顶级安全之选+奖项数量超过其他任何汽车品牌。

And as of July 2026, they've won more 2026 IIHS top safety pick plus awards than any other car brand.

访问www.iihs.org了解更多信息。

Visit www.iihs.org to learn more.

当事故没有发生时，很多事情都可能发生。

A lot can happen when an accident doesn't.

访问mazdausa.com了解更多信息。

Visit mazdausa.com to learn more.

《消费者报告》并不为任何产品或服务背书。

Consumer reports does not endorse products or services.

我们常常希望成长是只增不减的。

We often want growth to add without subtracting.

我们希望工作、感情、友谊、健康、休息、家庭和自由都能同时得到我们最好的精力。

We want work, relationships, friendships, health, rest, family, and freedom to all receive our best energy at the same time.

但我们的资源最终会迫使我们做出选择。

But our resources eventually ask us to choose.

所以，我是从这儿开始的。

So here's where I start.

选择你想在哪些方面做到卓越，能让你更诚实地分配时间。

Choosing where you want to be exceptional gives you a more honest way to divide up your time.

写下目前占据你大部分时间的三个领域。

Write down the three areas currently receiving most of your time.

然后写下对你来说真正最重要的三个领域。

Then write down the three areas that actually matter most to you.

对比一下这两个列表。

Compare the list.

如果它们不一致，找出一个改变，能让你的日程安排更贴近你的优先事项。

If they don't match, identify one change that would bring your calendar closer to your priorities.

然后完成这个句子：接下来的三个月，我处于一个……的阶段。你可以写工作、建设、照顾他人、学习、育儿、社交、创造或恢复。

Then complete this sentence: For the next three months, I am in a season of You might write working, building, caregiving, learning, parenting, connecting, creating, or recovering.

明确这个阶段需要什么，哪些事情你会放到次要位置，以及哪些事情你绝不会放弃。

Name what that season requires, what you'll place into maintenance mode, and what you refuse to abandon.

这个练习还能帮你向别人解释你的需求。

This practice will also help you explain your needs to someone else.

你可以告诉你的伴侣、家人或团队：这是我目前所处的阶段，这是它需要的东西，这是我在保护的东西，以及我希望我们什么时候来回顾它。

You can tell your partner, family or team, this is the season I'm in, this is what it requires, this is what I'm protecting and this is when I want us to review it.

这样的对话能建立共同的期望，也给其他人空间来表达他们需要你做什么。

That conversation creates shared expectations and gives other people space to express what they need from you.

最大的压力来源之一，就是试图对每个人、每件事都付出百分之百的自己。

One of the greatest sources of stress is trying to give 100% of yourself to everyone and everything.

这笔账永远算不过来。

The maths will never work.

要想有一个大丰收的一年，你得有能力分清主次，知道自己要重点做什么。

A big year requires the capacity to prioritize what you're building.

这一年能成，是因为我做了选择，决定把精力放在哪里。

This year became possible because I made choices about where my energy would go.

选好你想擅长的事，其他的，甘于平庸也没关系。

Choose what you want to be good at and be okay being average at the rest.

你不可能每件事都做到出类拔萃。

You can't be exceptional at everything.

精彩的人生，不仅在于你选择精通什么，也在于你选择不精通什么。

Great lives are built by choosing what not to master as much as what to master.

想变得非凡，最快的办法就是别再事事都想做到最好。

The fastest way to become extraordinary is to stop trying to be exceptional at everything.

每一个非凡的人生，都建立在无数件你选择不去做好的事情上。

Every extraordinary life is built on thousands of things someone chose not to become good at.

这就引出了我的最后一个教训。

Which leads me to my final lesson.

第五个也是最后一个教训是：把最多的空间留给那些让你能做自己的友谊。

The fifth and final lesson is this: Give the most space to the friendships that give you space to be yourself.

变化的一年会影响你的日程、你的优先事项，有时还会影响别人对你的看法。

A year of change can impact your schedule, your priorities, and sometimes the way people relate to you.

有些关系会适应这种成长，而另一些则会开始显露出你以前可能没注意到的隐藏期望。

Some relationships adapt to that growth, others begin revealing hidden expectations you may not have noticed before.

过去一年里，我和一些好朋友进行了一些非常坦诚的对话。

I had some very honest conversations with close friends this past year.

成长会改变友谊内部的动态。

Growth can change the dynamic inside a friendship.

有时候，你的成功会引发比较、距离，或者双方都没意识到的期望。

Sometimes your success brings up comparison, distance, or expectations neither person knew were there.

这不一定意味着任何一方有问题，但它能揭示出一段友谊是否有足够的诚实和宽容，来随着你们双方一起成长。

That doesn't necessarily make either person bad, but it can reveal whether a friendship has enough honesty and generosity to evolve with both of you.