过去12个月里我学到的10个改变人生的教训（生日特辑！）

这是一档iHeart播客节目。

This is an iHeart podcast.

我是Radhijavlukha，我是

I'm Radhijavlukha, and I'm the

《真情实感》播客的主持人。我有幸能与Logan Urie对话。如果你正在尝试约会，在Hinge上遭遇已读不回，或是想创建一份能让你真正匹配到理想约会对象的个人资料，那么这期与Hinge关系科学总监Logan Urie的对话绝对适合你。

host of a really good cry podcast. And I have the opportunity to talk to Logan Urie. If you're out there trying to date right now, being ghosted on Hinge, or want to create a dating profile that gives you a solid chance of matching with someone you actually want to go on a date with, then this episode with Hinge's Director of Relationship Science, Logan Urie, is definitely for you.

感情确实需要经营。真正维系关系的是那些愿意共同付出努力的人。

Relationships do require work. Relationships are people who really work on them together.

请在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或任何你获取播客的平台收听《真情实感》。

Listen to A Really Good Cry on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

欢迎来到《你与自己的较量》播客。我是Lex Barrero，邀请你超越头衔与荣誉，深入了解全球最成功演艺人士的内心挣扎、童年故事和人生转折点。每周我们都会揭开光环，直面真实。激励你成为更好的自己。请在iHeartRadio应用或任何你获取播客的平台收听《你与自己的较量》。

Welcome to the You versus You podcast. I'm Lex Barrero, inviting you to go beyond the titles and the accolades of the world's most successful entertainers. Each week, we take off the cape and get real about the inner battles, childhood stories, and the moments that shaped our guests. Get inspired to become the best version of you. Listen to You versus You podcast on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

你的整个身份都是虚构的。你挚爱的兄弟消失得无影无踪。你发现了母亲病情的严重程度。我是Dani Shapiro，这些只是我们即将推出的第十二季《家庭秘密》中将探讨的震撼故事中的几个片段。我们始终被嘉宾们勇敢讲述的故事所感动和鼓舞。

Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness. I'm Dani Shapiro, and these are just a few of the powerful stories I'll be mining on our upcoming twelfth season of Family Secrets. We continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories.

请在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或任何你获取播客的平台收听《家庭秘密》第十二季。

Listen to Family Secrets season 12 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

你以为拒绝会让对方失望。但你知道吗？当你违心答应时，你既辜负了自己也辜负了对方。长此以往，你只会积累怨恨。与其违心答应最终怨恨这段关系，不如坦然拒绝以维系关系。

You think saying no will let the other person down. Well, guess what? When you say yes when you don't want to, you let yourself down and you let that person down. And in the long term, you actually end up building resentment. It's better to say no and continue to have a relationship than say yes and resent the relationship.

排名第一的健康与养生类播客。

The number one health and wellness podcast.

杰伊·杰伊·谢蒂。独一无二的杰伊·谢蒂。

Jay Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty.

大家好，我是杰伊·谢蒂。欢迎回到《On Purpose》节目。每天有数百万人收听观看这个节目，这让我感到无比震撼。请务必订阅我的YouTube频道，这样你就不会错过任何视频；同时也要在苹果播客、Spotify、iHeart或其他你获取播客的平台订阅，确保不错过每一期更新。我有很多精彩内容即将呈现给大家。

Hey everyone, it's Jay Shetty. Welcome back to On Purpose. It blows my mind that millions of you tune in every single day to listen and to watch. Make sure you've subscribed to my YouTube channel so that you never miss a video and make sure you subscribed on Apple, Spotify, iHeart or wherever you get your podcasts so that you don't miss a drop. I've got so many exciting things coming your way.

今天是特别的一期节目，因为如果你在2025年9月5日收听本期，那么明天9月6日就是我的生日。每年这个时候，我都喜欢做一期反思自省的特别节目。今天我要分享过去十二个月里领悟到的人生课题，涉及生活、人际关系等方方面面。我会重点讲述那些最深刻的领悟，这些真知灼见都源于亲身经历、自身错误以及面临的挑战与挣扎。

Now, it's a very special episode today because tomorrow, if you're listening to this on the 09/05/2025, tomorrow the September 6 is my birthday and every year I love to do a reflection introspection episode. Today I'm going to share with you lessons I've learned in the last twelve months. They're about life, people, relationships. I'm going to give you the biggest ones that I've taken away. These are real lessons that have come from lived experience, come from my own mistakes, come from my own challenges and struggles.

我每年都热衷制作这期节目，因为它能让我真正审视自己的内心与思想，并敞开心扉与大家分享。我发现生日往往被聚会、礼物和与所爱之人共度的时光填满，这些固然美好。但对我而言，生日更是盘点人生、评估现状、校准方向的时刻——确保自己朝着理想前进，以想要的方式践行使命，并以期待的姿态出现在自己和所爱之人面前。这个年度仪式非常美妙，我很高兴能通过播客与大家分享。

And I love doing this episode for you every year because it really gets me into my own heart and mind and I get to open up about it with all of you. I always find that birthdays become about parties, they become about gifts, they become about presents and time with the people you love. And those are all really beautiful things. But for me, they're also a time of taking stock, evaluating, auditing and looking at my life, making sure that I'm moving in the direction that I want, that I'm serving my mission and purpose in the way that I want and that I'm showing up for myself and the people I love in the way that I want. It's a beautiful annual ritual that I love to do and I'm so glad I get to share it with you all on the podcast.

以下是我过去十二个月领悟的十大人生课题。第一点：减少帮助反而能成就更多。作为一个教练，这句话很难说出口；作为一个总想帮助他人的人，这很难启齿；作为一个希望见证他人成长的人，这很难承认。

So here are the top 10 lessons I've learned in the last twelve months. The first one is helping less can actually help more. This one is so hard to say as a coach. It's so hard to say as someone who's always trying to help others. It's so hard to admit as someone who wants to see others grow.

相信你也深有同感。当你爱一个人、在乎一个人时，你会想帮助他们，想为他们排忧解难，想解决他们所有问题。

And I'm sure you're the same. When you love someone, when you care about them, you want to help them. You want to be there for them. You want to show up for them. You want to solve all their problems.

你想修正一切。但我的领悟是：过度帮助反而可能伤害对方。这种伤害并非源于帮助行为本身，而是你的帮助会让他们产生依赖。

You want to fix everything. But here's what I've learned. Often when you try to help others, you can actually end up hurting them. You hurt them not because of you helping, but because your helping ends up enabling them. It ends up making them dependent.

这会让他们觉得自己无力做出改变，无法依靠自己而必须依赖你，让他们觉得若没有你在场就找不到答案。真正强大的领导者是让人相信自己。你不是要让人迷信你的建议，也不是要让人因你随叫随到而觉得你伟大。

It makes them feel that they're inadequate to make the change themselves. It makes them feel that they can't depend on themselves, they have to depend on you. It makes them feel that if you're not around, they might not know the answer. Really powerful leaders make people believe in themselves. You're not trying to get people to believe in your advice, to think that you're a great person because you're always around.

你要做的是帮助人们重连自己的直觉本能。当你忙着解决、修正和帮助一切时，他们反而失去了这种机会。请自问：当你帮助某人时，是在给予他们自助的机会，还是在剥夺这种机会？当你支持某人时，是在协助还是包办？当你陪伴某人时，是在试图控制一切，还是仅仅伸出援手？

You want people to reconnect with their own intuition, their own gut instinct. And when you're busy solving, fixing and helping everything, they never get the opportunity to do that. Ask yourself, when you're helping someone, are you giving them the opportunity to help themselves or are you taking it away? When you're trying to support someone, are you assisting or are you trying to solve everything for them? When you're trying to be present for someone, are you actually trying to fix and control everything or are you just there for a helping hand?

这听起来有悖常理但千真万确：过度帮助催生依赖。关于习得性无助的研究表明，若你频繁拯救他人，他们就会丧失培养韧性的机会；若你总在他人危难时施救，他们就无法发展应对技能；若你总替困境中的人解决问题，他们就学不会自己解决。

It's so counterintuitive but it's true. Over helping creates dependency. Studies on learned helplessness show that if you rescue people too often, they stop building resilience. If you always rescue someone when they are in danger, they don't develop the skills themselves. If you always fix things for people when they are struggling, they don't learn to fix it themselves.

如果你总是在他人面临挑战时急于伸出援手，他们可能会丧失自助能力，而你的帮助反而可能伤害他们。你最好的初衷可能实际上会给他人带来长期的痛苦。有时候，最仁慈的做法是退后一步，允许他人跌倒。真正的指导不是背着某人上山，而是提醒他们——他们自己有腿。

If you are always rushing to help someone when they are going through a challenge, they may lose the ability to help themselves and you may hurt them instead. Your best intention could actually cause someone long term pain. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is step back and let someone stumble. Real coaching isn't carrying someone up the mountain. It's reminding them they have legs.

我们总认为帮助他人永远高尚，但有时帮助只是伪装的控制。请细想：当你过快地介入，你就在教人们——没有你他们无法应对生活。当你扛起他们的重担，他们就永远无法锻炼出自己的力量。当你为他人包办一切，他们就会习得无助。

We think helping people is always noble, But sometimes help is just disguised control. Think about that for a second. When you jump in too quickly, you teach people that they can't handle life without you. When you carry their load, they never build the muscle to carry it themselves. When you do everything for someone, they develop learned helplessness.

当人们因总有人代劳而停止尝试时，你的拯救会剥夺他们的韧性，你的修补会窃取他们摸索的机会，你的指引会阻碍他们发展内在罗盘。帮助某人反而可能伤害他们。

When people stop trying because someone else always steps in. Your rescuing can rob them of resilience. Your fixing can steal their chance to figure it out. Your guidance can block them from developing their own inner compass. Helping someone can actually hurt them.

试图修复某人反而可能让他们感觉更破碎。当你急于解决问题时，你传递的潜台词是'没有我你做不到'。这会让爱沦为怜悯，让关怀变成控制。支持不等于代劳。

Trying to fix someone can actually make them feel more broken. When you rush to solve, you send the hidden message, You can't do this without me. It can turn love into pity. It can turn care into control. Support doesn't mean solving.

爱不等于修复，同情不等于控制。帮助某人可能伤害他们，修复某人可能摧毁他们，背负某人可能削弱他们。

Love doesn't mean fixing. Compassion doesn't mean control. Helping someone can hurt them. Fixing someone can break them. Carrying someone can weaken them.

保护某人可能禁锢他们，拯救某人可能噤声他们。当你代劳时，人们不会成长；当你相信他们能独立完成时，他们才会成长。他们需要的不是你的拯救。

Protecting someone can trap them. Saving someone can silence them. People don't grow when you do it for them. They grow when you believe they can do it themselves. They don't need your rescue.

他们需要你的信任。他们不需要修理师，而是见证者——一个能说'我看见你做到了'的人，一个准备好再次见证你做到的人。

They need your trust. They don't need a fixer. They need a witness. Someone to say, saw you do that. And I'm here to watch you do it again.

我会在你需要时伸出援手，但必须意识到：你不想剥夺他们的机会。这就像说'我会陪你去健身房，但由我来替你举铁'，这毫无意义，对吧？

I'm here to give you a helping hand if that's what you need right now. But realizing that you don't want to take away their opportunity. It's almost like saying, hey, I'll be with you at the gym, but I'll lift the weights for you. That wouldn't make any sense. Right?

我能陪你去健身房，但不能替你举铁；我会站在你身旁，但不能替你执行饮食计划。这行不通。你无法将自己的牺牲转化为他人的成功，也无法将自己的纪律注入他人的渴望。

I can be with you at the gym, but I can't lift the weights for you. I'll be with you by your side, but I'm gonna do the diet for you. It doesn't work that way. You can't transfer your sacrifice into someone else's success. You can't transfer your discipline into someone else's desire.

你无法将自己的努力兑换成他人的价值。事情不是这样运作的。他们必须拥有自律，必须亲历奋斗，必须做出牺牲。

You can't transfer your work into someone else's worth. It doesn't work that way. They have to have the discipline. They have to do the work. They have to make the sacrifice.

你可以陪伴在他们身边，但无法替他们完成。这是我今年领悟的重要一课。我意识到这很痛苦，因为我的天性就是希望看到人们发挥潜力。我想为他们加速进程，想替他们解决问题。

You can be there by their side, but you can't do it for them. This is a huge lesson that I've learned this year. And I realize it's a painful one because my nature is to want to see people reach their potential. And I want to speed it up for them. I want to solve it for them.

我想为他们按下快进键。但一次次见证的是，当我退后一步保持在场时，那个人会建立起我代劳时永远无法获得的自信。这种见证其实更美妙。今年我亲历过这种时刻，甚至对人直言：我随时愿意提供帮助，但关于成长我明白——你本就有自我成长的能力。

I want to accelerate it for them. But I've seen time and time again that when I step back, when I'm present, when I'm there, that person builds a confidence like they never could have if I did it for them. And that's actually more beautiful to watch and observe. And I've seen it this year and I've actually said it to people, Hey, I am ready to help you with whatever you need. But one thing I've learned about growth is that I believe you genuinely have the ability to grow yourself.

你不需要我的建议，不需要我来指点迷津。答案其实早已在你心中。我希望你与内在智慧连接，看着他们如何焕发力量。让人们相信他们自己，而非相信你。

You don't need my advice. You don't need me to tell you what to do. You actually already know it inside of you. I want you to connect with that and watch how empowered they feel. Make people believe in them, not in you.

这才是目标。第二课来自今年让我深有共鸣的一句话：拒绝本身就是完整的句子。我们总以为答应才能维系关系，但边界研究显示恰恰相反。

That's the goal. Lesson number two is something that I've heard this year that really resonated with me. Saying no is a full sentence. We think yes keeps relationships alive. But research on boundaries shows the opposite.

能清晰说「不」的人反而更受信任与尊重。每次违背本心的「好」都在侵蚀联结，每次守护真我的「不」都在深化关系。拒绝不是否定，而是最纯粹的诚实。

People who can say no clearly are more trusted and more respected. Every yes that betrays yourself erodes connection. Every no that protects your truth deepens it. No isn't rejection. It's honesty in its purest form.

我们都难以开口拒绝。回想你上次挣扎着说「不」的时刻——艰难源于这会触发被排斥的恐惧。人类天生渴望归属，进化心理学表明拒绝曾意味着真实的死亡。

Now we all struggle saying no. Think about the last time you struggled saying no. Saying no is so hard because it triggers the fear of rejection. Humans are wired for belonging. Evolutionary psychology shows rejection once meant literal death.

被部落放逐就等同宣判死刑。这种本能并未消失，拒绝之所以令人不安，是因为大脑将其解读为断绝联系的风险。另一个阻碍是我们所谓的「愧疚反射」——当你拒绝亲近之人时，大脑会释放模仿愧疚感的压力荷尔蒙皮质醇。

Exile from the tribe, you've been kicked out. That wiring hasn't disappeared. Saying no feels dangerous because our brain interprets it as risking disconnection. Another reason why we struggle to say no is something known as the guilt reflex. When you say no and think about this the next time you do it, especially the people close to you, your brain actually releases the stress hormone cortisol that mimic the discomfort of guilt.

这就是为何人们总会过度解释或道歉——我们在安抚自己的神经系统，因为正体验着愧疚感。但当你拒绝时会发生什么？它会培养自尊。研究表明练习拒绝的人自尊水平更高，焦虑水平更低。

This is why so many people, all of us, we overexplain or we apologize, right? We're soothing our own nervous system, not just the other person, because we're now feeling a sense of guilt. But here's what happens when you say no. It builds self respect. Studies on assertiveness training show people who practice saying no report higher self esteem and lower anxiety.

每个「不」都是对自我价值的微小投票，证明你的时间、精力和需求值得被重视。前几天我就经历了这种情况——当时正与久别重逢的朋友深谈他们的人生困境。

Every no is a small vote of confidence that your time, energy and needs actually matter. This happened to me the other day. I was actually with a friend. I hadn't seen them for a long time. And they were telling me about some really deep struggles they were having in their life.

这时有位可爱的人过来要求合影问候，我说：「很乐意稍后配合，但现在我需要专注陪伴这位朋友。」虽然心生忐忑——我讨厌拒绝，平时在机场餐厅偶遇大家总是欣喜万分——但那一刻的选择很重要。

And someone wonderful came up to the table who wanted a picture and to say hello and I said, Hey, I would love to do it right afterwards but I just need to be present with this person right now. And my heart sank. I didn't wanna say no. I get so happy when I bump into you all at airports, restaurants, wherever I am. Love it.

我真的很高兴见到大家。但当时我感到很难过，因为我对他们说‘嘿，我晚点再做，现在不行’，而当时和我交谈的人正在分享他们经历的一些非常情绪化的艰难事情。我想全身心陪伴他们。但这样做之后，我能看出这对我身边的人有多重要。我真心希望另一个人能理解。

I really enjoy seeing you all. And I felt so bad saying, hey, you know what, I'll do it later, but I can't right now because the person I was talking to was sharing some really emotional difficult stuff that they were going through. And I wanted to be present for them. But having done that, I could tell how much it meant to the person with me. And I really hope the other person understood.

并不是我刻薄，也不是我不想做。只是我在试图划定一条对我很重要的界限。这真的很难，非常难。

It wasn't that I was being mean. It's not that I didn't want to do it. It was just that I was trying to draw a boundary that was important to me. And it's really hard. It's really hard.

十次里有九次我会立刻答应。但学会拒绝太重要了。另一件事是，当我们违心答应时，实际上会滋生怨恨。想想看：当朋友请你帮忙，你想拒绝却为了讨好而答应。

Nine out of 10 times I would say yes immediately. But learning to say no was so important. The other thing is that when we say yes without alignment, it actually breeds resentment. Think about this for a second. When your friend asks you for something and you want to say no, but you say yes to people please.

你答应是因为不想让他们失望，你答应是知道他们可能会过度反应。结果呢？长期来看你会想‘天啊我讨厌这个人，今天还得为他们做这件事’。

You say yes because you don't want to let them down. You say yes because you know they might overreact. What ends up happening? In the long term you end up thinking, God, hate this person. I've got to go do this thing for them today.

‘今天必须熬过这件事，天哪又得做这个’。最终演变成怨恨。社会心理学家发现，当人们出于义务答应时，会导致认知失调——价值观与行为的冲突。

I've got to get through this thing today. Oh my God, I got to do this thing. It's made into resentment. If you say yes without alignment, it actually breeds resentment. Social psychologists find that when people say yes out of obligation, it leads to cognitive dissonance, a clash between values and actions.

长此以往，这比坦诚拒绝更损害关系。你以为拒绝会让人失望？但违心答应既辜负自己也让对方失望，最终积累怨恨。与其答应后怨恨，不如拒绝以维系关系。

Over time, this erodes relationships more than an honest no ever could. You think saying no will let the other person down. Well guess what, when you say yes when you don't want to, you let yourself down and you let that person down. And in the long term, you actually end up building resentment. It's better to say no and continue to have a relationship than say yes and resent the relationship.

通过拒绝，你守护了未来承诺的质量。人们会更信任你的应允，因为它不再廉价。界限感建立可信度。我母亲有位同事曾告诉我，她一生都在说‘好’——对家人、孩子、社区有求必应。

By saying no, you protect the quality of your future yes. People begin to trust your yes more because it's no longer automatic. Boundaries create credibility. A woman my mom worked with once told me she had spent her entire life saying yes. Yes to family, yes to her kids, yes to her community.

她是所有人的依靠。生日聚会、临时保姆、情感支持、借钱、做饭...只要有人开口她就答应。但在‘好’的背后，她精疲力竭，感觉自己的人生消失了。她说‘我甚至不知道自己喜欢什么’。

She was the person everyone leaned on. Birthdays, last minute babysitting, emotional support, loaning money, cooking meals, you name it, if someone asked, she said yes. But behind the yes, she was exhausted. She felt invisible in her own life. She told me, I didn't even know what I liked anymore.

‘我只知道别人要什么’。有天女儿又要她临时照看孙子——那周她已为帮忙取消两次计划。三十年来她第一次崩溃了：‘不，今天不行，我需要休息’。

I only knew what everyone else wanted. One day her daughter asked her to watch the grandkids again, after she had already cancelled plan twice that week to help. Something inside her broke for the first time in thirty years. She said, No, not today. I need rest.

女儿震惊又生气，甚至用愧疚感施压。那些旧恐惧涌来：‘她会不爱我吗？会不再需要我吗？’但出乎意料的是，世界并没有崩塌。

Her daughter was shocked, upset, even guilted her And that old fear came flooding in. What if she loved me less? What if I'm needed less? But something surprising happened. The world didn't fall apart.

她的女儿明白了。这是她第一次毫无歉意地为自己度过一天——阅读、散步、睡觉。后来女儿承认：‘起初我很生气，但后来意识到你从未拒绝过我。你有权说不。’这声拒绝重塑了整个家庭关系。

Her daughter figured it out. And for the first time she spent the day doing something just for herself reading, walking, and sleeping without apology. And later her daughter admitted, At first I was mad, but then I realized you've never said no to me. You deserve to. That single no rewired the entire family dynamic.

女儿不再认为她随时有空。孙辈们通过榜样明白边界是正常的。而这位女士告诉我：‘比起几十年的妥协，拒绝反而更像爱的表达。’不断妥协让她心生怨恨，学会拒绝终于让关系更真实。

Her daughter stopped assuming she'd always be available. Her grandchildren learned by example that boundaries are normal. And the woman herself, she told me that no felt more like love than all the yeses I gave for decades. Saying yes constantly had made her resentful. Saying no finally made her relationships more honest.

有时对他人最深的爱，就是停止背叛自己。学会说不。学会说现在不行。学会说这不适合我。学会说今天我承担不了。

Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for others is to stop betraying yourself. Learn to say no. Learn to say not now. Learn to say this doesn't work for me. Learn to say I can't carry that today.

学会说‘我需要空间’。学会说‘我改变主意了’。学会说‘我值得更好的’。学会只在全身心同意时才说好。因为每次违心的‘好’都是沉默的背叛，而每个诚实的‘不’都是对彼此尊重的表达。

Learn to say, I need space. Learn to say, I've changed my mind. Learn to say, I deserve better. Learn to say yes only when your whole self agrees. Because every fake yes is a quiet betrayal and every honest no is an act of respect for you and for them.

过去十二个月我学到的第三课是：注意力才是你真正的银行账户。几年前我发现，开始用TikTok后注意力开始减退，需要巨大努力才能恢复。我曾是热爱读书的人，喜欢深度阅读期刊文章，突然却发现自己追逐八秒的快感、娱乐和速食内容。

Lesson number three that I've learned in the last twelve months is your attention is your real bank account. I noticed a few years ago how when I started using TikTok, my attention started to diminish and it took a lot of effort to bring it back. I was someone who loved reading books. I was someone who loved getting into deep journals and articles. And all of a sudden, I saw myself looking for eight seconds of joy, entertainment and speed of consumption.

我逐渐意识到注意力才是真正的财富，因为决定人生成败的是你投放注意力的地方。认知心理学称之为‘注意力控制’，它比智商更能预测成功。想想看：亿万富翁会破产，但能掌控注意力的人可以重建一切。注意力不仅是货币，更是复利。

And I started to realize my attention is my real bank account because what makes or breaks your life is where you spend your attention. Cognitive psychology calls this attentional control, and it predicts success better than IQ. Think about it. Billionaires go bankrupt, but someone who can direct their focus can rebuild. Your attention isn't just currency, it's compound interest.

神经科学家认为注意力是有限资源。每次专注都在消耗精神能量，如同花钱。你可以投资、浪费或失去它。但与金钱不同，注意力永不可追回。

Neuroscientists call our attention a limited resource. Every time you focus, you spend mental energy. Like money. You can invest it, waste it, or lose it. Unlike money, you can never get it back.

心理学家发现，能主动掌控注意力投向——读什么、关注什么、为谁付出时间——的人，其生活满意度远超受收入或智商影响的人。别再为不珍惜你的人浪费注意力，别再为不可控的问题消耗注意力，别再滑动浏览陌生人的人生，别再挥霍你的注意力。

Psychologists have found that people who learn to direct their attention intentionally what they read, what they notice, who they give time to predict life satisfaction more than income or IQ. Stop wasting your attention on people who don't value yours. Stop wasting your attention on problems you can't control. Stop wasting your attention on scrolling through strangers' lives. Stop wasting your attention.

这是你最宝贵的财富。我把注意力视为银行余额——可支出的额度有限。你打算如何使用？如何分配？

It is your greatest wealth. When I think about my attention, I think about it like my bank balance. There's only a limited amount you have to spend. How are you going to use it? How are you going to direct it?

你计划如何聚焦？如何避免被无关紧要的事物吞噬？假设有人严重伤害了你，假设有人辜负了你——我该浪费多少时间纠结于此？

How are you going to focus it? How are you going to allow yourself to not be consumed by unnecessary things? Let's say someone did something really bad to you. Let's say someone wronged you. How much time do I want to waste trying to solve that?

我该耗费多少精力去寻求一个道歉？又愿意牺牲多少无法追回的时间，只盼对方能意识到自己的过错？我们将生命中的数小时、数日甚至数周浪费在毫无意义的事情上。下次当你因某事烦心时，问问自己：我真的在乎吗？即便得到想要的结果，真的重要吗？

How much energy do I want to spend trying to get an apology? How much time am I willing to give away and never get back, hoping that person will realize what they did was wrong? We waste hours, days, weeks of our life on things that won't make a difference. The next time you're upset by something, ask yourself, do I really care? Even if I get the result I want, will it really matter?

还是说我的时间和精力有更好的去处？在继续之前，让我们稍作休息，听听赞助商的消息。大家好，我是Jay Shetty，非常兴奋地宣布我们将在Apple播客推出全新订阅服务。如果你渴望更多人生意义、灵感、实用工具和深度内容，现在可以订阅解锁来自杰出嘉宾的独家内容。

Or is there a better use of my time? Is there a better use of my energy? Before we continue, let's take a quick breather and listen to some of our sponsors. Hey, it's Jay Shetty, and I'm so excited to share we're launching a brand new subscription on Apple Podcasts. That means if you want more on purpose, more inspiration, more tools, more depth, you now have the option to subscribe and unlock bonus content from our incredible guests.

请放心，主节目仍对所有人免费开放。但如果你想深入探索并支持节目，这就是为你准备的。只需在Apple播客点击'免费试用'，加入我们不断壮大的目标驱动型听众社群。期待你的加入。

And don't worry, the main show is still free for everyone. But if you're someone who wants to go even deeper and support the show, this is for you. Just hit try free on Apple Podcasts and join our growing community of purpose driven listeners. I can't wait for you to check it out.

我是Radhi Devlukha，

I'm Radhi Devlukha, and I'm

《真情实泪》播客主持人，今天有幸对话Logan Urie。作为约会专家、行为科学家、畅销书作者，Logan正在彻底改变我们对爱情与约会的认知。我们探讨了Logan研究验证的各类约会话题——从个人资料撰写、照片筛选技巧，到真正有效的开场白，以及人们尚未察觉却会降低成功率的禁忌行为。无论单身、恋爱中或追求更清醒的爱情观，Logan都能提供我们所需的透彻见解。

the host of A Really Good Cry podcast, and I have the opportunity to talk to Logan Urie. Logan is a dating expert, a behavioral scientist, a best selling author, and someone who is seriously changing the way we think about love and dating. In our conversation, we talk all things dating that Logan has studied and tested from what to put in your dating profile, the pictures you should and shouldn't be using to the conversation starters that actually work. And the huge no nos that people probably do not realize are reducing their chances of success on apps. Whether you're single, dating, or just trying to be more intentional in love, Logan offers the kind of clarity we all need.

感情确实需要经营。最美好的关系是双方共同努力的结果。人们总执着于'找到完美对象就能拥有完美关系'，却忽略了可以选择优秀伴侣共同构建关系，不必无止境追寻完美。

Relationships do require work. And the best relationships are people who really work on them together. They're so focused on if I find the perfect person, then I'll have the perfect relationship Mhmm. Instead of understanding really that they can choose someone great and then build that relationship together. They don't need to keep searching for perfection.

欢迎在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或任何播客平台收听《真情实泪》。

Listen to a really good cry on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

欢迎来到《你与你的较量》播客。我是Lex Barrero，每周我们都会与娱乐界重量级人物探讨真实议题——那些塑造他们的挣扎、疑虑与突破时刻。我们将深入探讨童年创伤、家庭、战胜失去的经历，以及定义他们人生旅程的关键时刻。这些坦诚对话旨在褪去英雄光环，希望他们的人性光辉能激励你成为更好的自己，从而自由追逐梦想生活。先睹为快：

Welcome to the You versus You podcast. I'm Lex Barrero, and every week, we sit down with some of the biggest names in entertainment to talk about the real stuff, the struggles, the doubts, and the breakthroughs that made them who they are. We go deep, growing childhood trauma, family, overcoming loss, and the moments that shape their journey. These honest conversations are meant to take the cape of our heroes, with the hope that their humanity inspires you to become a better you and therefore set you free to live the life of your dreams. Here's a sneak peek.

我受训成为竞争者，习惯保持强硬姿态。但有时这种心态会让你错过欣赏自家花园芬芳的机会。

I'm trained to go compete. I'm trained to be, like, harder. But sometimes that mentality stops you from stopping and smelling the flowers in own garden.

渴望更多有错吗？

Is it wrong to want more?

我们移民了。我们全家搬到了这里。我算是第二代移民。

We migrated. Our family migrated here. I'm like second generation.

欢迎收听Michael Tuda播客网络旗下的《你与你的较量》，节目可在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcast或任何你获取播客的平台收听。

Listen to You versus You as part of Michael Tuda Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.

你的整个身份都是虚构的。你挚爱的兄弟消失得无影无踪。你发现母亲病情的严重程度，以及它如何在你生命中不断回荡，影响着你的家族传承。大家好，我是Dani Shapiro，这些只是我们第十二季《家庭秘密》中将探讨的深刻而有力的故事中的几个。节目下载量已超过3700万次，我们持续被嘉宾们勇敢讲述的故事所感动和激励。

Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Dani Shapiro, and these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our twelfth season of Family Secrets. With over 37,000,000 downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories.

我迫不及待想与大家分享10集震撼的新内容。这些关于身份纠葛、隐藏真相的故事，以及家庭秘密几乎总是需要被说出来的方式。希望你能加入我和非凡嘉宾们，共同开启《家庭秘密》新一季。请在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcasts或任何你获取播客的平台收听《家庭秘密》第十二季。

I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you. Stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets season 12 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

欢迎回来。现在让我们继续这场精彩的对话。第四个启示是：与内心不契合的成就如同失败。我们以为成功必然带来满足，但心理学表明当成就与价值观不符时，它们会显得空洞。

Welcome back. Now let's continue this incredible conversation. Lesson number four is that achievement without alignment feels like failure. We think success guarantees fulfillment. But psychology shows when your achievements don't match your values, they feel hollow.

这就是为什么人们达成晋升、买房、结婚等里程碑后，却感到前所未有的空虚。并非这些成就本身不重要，而是它们是否与你的价值观相连？缺乏内在契合的成功不是真正的成功。当行为与价值观不匹配时，大脑会产生内在冲突。

That's why people hit milestones, the promotion, the house, the wedding and feel emptier than ever. It's not that the house, the wedding or the milestone wasn't important. It's that did you connect it to your values? Success without alignment isn't success. When actions and values don't match, the brain experiences internal conflict.

例如我重视家庭，却把所有时间花在工作上；我珍视创造力，但我的职位只奖励效率。这种不协调、这种割裂会产生压力、焦虑，最终导致倦怠——即使对成功人士也是如此。这是我今年领悟到最震撼的道理，请务必记住：

For example, I value family, but I spend all my time at work. I value creativity, but my role only rewards efficiency. This dissonance, this distance creates stress, anxiety, and eventually burnout, even in successful people. This is what I've learned this year that really blew my mind. I want you to remember this.

你将因所得而成功，却因所失而幸福。当你获得新工作、晋升或新成就时，你会感到成功。但唯有当你失去某些东西时——失去嫉妒、失去自负、失去贪婪——你才会感到幸福。

You'll become successful by what you get. You'll become happy by what you lose. When you get a new job, a promotion, a new level, you'll feel successful. But you'll only feel happy when you lose. When you lose envy, when you lose ego, when you lose greed.

正是在失去的过程中我们获得幸福。多年来我总听人说金钱买不到幸福，当时我心想：说这种话的人往往本身就很有钱，所以这话没什么说服力。而且我也见过有钱又快乐的人。

It's when we lose that we become happy. Because for years I used to hear people say money doesn't buy happiness. I used to think to myself, well, it's really easy because the people who often say that the ones with money. And so that didn't make sense to me. And also I saw people with money who are happy.

我也见过没钱却快乐的人。所以我说：这也不成立啊。那关键是什么？我发现重点不在于你拥有或缺少什么物质条件或外在成就，而在于你内心是否拥有或缺失某些东西。如果你有钱却心怀嫉妒，你依然不会快乐。

I saw people without money who are happy. So I said, okay, well that doesn't make sense either. So what was it? What I saw is that it didn't matter what you did have or didn't have in terms of things, in terms of success, but it did matter what you did or didn't have internally. So if you had money but you had envy, you weren't happy.

如果你有钱却不嫉妒，你就能幸福。正是无嫉妒与无自我，确保了无论身处何种境地都能快乐。因为正是这两种特质会推开爱与关系。若你自负，你会让人敬而远之；若你嫉妒，你会因不愿接近他人而自我封闭。

And if you had money but you didn't have envy, you could be happy. It was the lack of envy and the lack of ego that guaranteed happiness no matter what position you were in. Because those were the two traits that pushed away love and relationships. If you're egotistical, you turn people off because now they don't want to be around you. And if you're envious, you get turned off by people that you don't want to be around.

傲慢、自负与虚张声势会让人疏远你。嫉妒同样如此。你无法与你嫉妒的人成为朋友，而当你自负时也没人愿与你交友。当这两种品质主宰你的生活，你将失去人类生命中最宝贵的部分——人际联系与情感纽带。

When you have arrogance and ego and bravado, you push people away. When you have envy, do the same thing. You can't be friends with someone you're envious of. And no one wants to be friends with you when you're egotistical. You lose the most valuable part of human life, which is human connection and relationships, when these two qualities take over your life.

正如我们努力获取某些东西，我们也需努力摒弃某些东西。驾驭自我与克服嫉妒是每日必修课。它们是日常习惯。减少嫉妒会让你快乐得多，削弱自负同样如此。

As much as we're working on what we get, we have to work on what we want to lose. Mastering ego and mastering envy are a daily practice. They're a daily habit. You will be so much happier if you reduce your envy. You'll be so much happier if you reduce your ego.

不仅仅是提升产出、效率或生产力。我保证要关注生活的这一面。我常将此称为'种子与杂草'——将嫉妒与自负视作人生花园中必须连根拔除、彻底清除的毒草。

Not just increase your output, not just increase your productivity, not just increase your efficiency. I promise you give attention to that part of your life. I focus on that part of my life a lot. I call it the seeds and weeds. I think about envy and ego like weeds in the garden of my life that I have to uproot, that I have to take out, that I have to purify.

如此你会感觉好得多。第五课：让你沮丧的人最能教会你认识自己。烦恼并非随机出现，心理学家称之为投射认同——我们无法忍受的他人特质，往往映射出我们自身尚未接纳的部分。

And you feel so much better for it. Lesson number five, The people who frustrate you teach you the most about you. Annoyances aren't random. Psychologists call it projective identification. The traits we can't stand in others often mirrors parts of ourselves we haven't accepted.

那个控制欲强的上司，或许折射出你对放手的恐惧。人都是镜子，而不仅是刺激源。这不意味着他们不存在问题或你的观察有误，而是你可能也有同样问题。你的情绪触发点就是你的老师。

That controlling boss, maybe it reflects your own fear of letting go. People are mirrors, not just irritants. It doesn't mean that they don't have that problem and what you're seeing isn't real. It's that you may have it too. Your triggers are your teachers.

嫉妒是你的指南针，愤怒是你的镜子，烦躁显露出你的伤口，防御性暴露你的恐惧，不耐烦则揭示你的期待。

Your jealousy is your guide. Your anger is your mirror. Your irritation shows you your wounds. Your defensiveness reveals your fear. Your impatience exposes your expectations.

悲伤凸显你的价值观。每个反应都是启示，每个触发点都是导师。生活将不断给你上同一课，直到你领悟为止。第六课：

Your sadness highlights your values. Every reaction is a revelation. Every trigger is a teacher. Life will keep sending you the same lesson until you learn from it. Lesson number six.

善意比成就更令人难忘。当人们谈起导师或挚爱时，很少提及成就。我确信你在葬礼上不会听到对某人成就的追忆，在七十岁寿宴上也是如此——几周前我刚参加一位挚友的七十大寿，

Kindness is remembered longer than achievement. Ask people about their mentors or loved ones and they rarely recall accomplishments. I doubt you'll end up at a funeral and hear about someone's accomplishments. I doubt you'll end up at a seventieth birthday and hear about someone's accomplishments. I was actually just at a dear family friend's seventieth birthday a couple of weeks ago.

无人谈论他众多的成就。人们铭记的是善意的瞬间，是真诚连接的时刻。行为科学表明，情感记忆比事实记忆更持久。人们会忘记你的成就，

No one talked about his achievements and he has plenty. They record moments of kindness. They record moments of genuine sincere connection. Behavioral science shows emotional memory outlasts factual memory. People forget what you achieved.

他们不会忘记你曾多么深情。人们会记得你的善良时刻，记得你的关怀之举，记得你耐心倾听不催促的模样，记得众人都缺席时唯独你到场的身影。

They don't forget how affectionate you were. People will remember when you were kind. People will remember when you were caring. People will remember when you listened without rushing them. People will remember when you showed up when no one else did.

人们会记得你在他们低谷时的宽恕，会记得你早于所有人对他们的信任，会记得他们崩溃时你保持的镇定，会记得你给予尊严而非评判。他们或许记不住你的成就，或许记不住你的付出，但绝不会忘记你散发的能量。

People will remember when you forgave them at their lowest. People will remember when you believed in them before anyone else did. People will remember when you stayed calm while they fell apart. People will remember when you gave them dignity instead of judgement. They may forget your wins, they may forget your work, but they won't forget your energy.

即便他们真的遗忘了这一切，至少会有一个人记得。最重要的是——你将活出纯粹而有能量的生命。我们做这些不是为了被铭记，而是为了能安然入睡。你净化内在能量，是为了活在一个清净的所在。

And even if they do forget all of those things, they'll be one that remembers. And the most important thing, you will have lived a clean energetic life. We don't do those things to be remembered for those things. We do those things so that we can go to sleep peacefully. You clean your energy internally so that you can live in a clean place.

明白吗？你打扫房间不是为了招待客人，而是为了住在整洁的家里。你整理思绪也不是为了他人，而是想让自己活在澄明之中。这道理至关重要。

Right, you don't clean your home just because people are coming over. You clean it so that you can live in a clean home. You don't clean your mind for everyone else. You do it because you want to live in a clean place. It's a huge one.

第七课：比起被纠正，人们更因被理解而改变。我们总以为人们需要更好的说教，实则他们需要更好的倾听者。动机式访谈研究表明，当人们感受到被倾听时才会改变，而非被说教时。

Lesson number seven. People change more from being understood than being corrected. We think people need better arguments. In truth, people need better listeners. Studies on motivational interviewing show people change when they feel heard, not when they're lectured.

理解能打开纠正永远锁住的门。有时我们把最糟糕的一面留给最好的人，却把最美好的一面给了最不值得的人。温柔之人承受我们的痛苦，刻薄之人却得到我们的快乐。

Understanding opens the door that correction keeps locked. Sometimes the best people get the worst of us. And the worst people get the best of us. The kindest people get our pain. And the meanest people get our joy.

真诚的人收到我们的沉默，虚伪的人却看到我们的表演。忠诚的人承受我们的猜疑，背叛的人却获得我们的信任。留下的人承受我们的怨怼，离开的人却得到我们的宽容。我们对陌生人道歉，却对至亲口出恶言。我们在安全的人面前隐藏柔软，却对伤害我们的人展露笑颜。

The real ones get our silence and the fake ones get our performance. The loyal ones get our doubts and the disloyal ones get our trust. The ones who stay get our frustration and the ones who leave get our patience. We give our apologies to strangers and our harshest words to the ones closest. We hide our tenderness from the safe ones and hand out our smiles to the ones who've hurt us.

这就是人性可悲之处——我们总是错置最好的能量。我逐渐明白，我们都习惯说教最亲近的人，以为指点就能让他们改正。实际上人们渴望的是被认可、被倾听、被看见。

That's the tragedy of human behavior. We misplace our best energy. What I've realized is that we all lecture the people closest to us. We think if we tell them what to do, they'll finally get it right. The reality is people are looking to be validated, heard and seen.

你或许会说：我知道他们的处境。但你可曾真正询问过？可曾对伴侣说过：我想听你讲述真实感受？我想了解你持续挣扎的原因？不是质问，而是带着好奇与真诚。记住：人们因被理解而改变，远胜于被纠正。

You may say, I know what they're going through, but have you ever asked them? Have you ever talked to your partner and just said, I want to hear from your side how this feels? I want to know why it is that you keep struggling with this. Not in a demanding way, in a curious way, in a genuine way. Remember, people change more from being understood than being corrected.

人们因被爱而改变，远胜于被憎恨；因被认可而改变，远胜于被逼迫和评判。第八课——这个观点彻底震撼了我，它出自我最喜爱的作家之一。

People change more from being loved than from being hated. People change more from being validated than pushed and judged. Lesson number eight. This one blew my mind. And it's from one of my favorite authors of all time.

我们记住结局多于过程。这听起来显而易见，但请听我解释它如何适用于生活。心理学家丹尼尔·卡尼曼提出过一个名为峰终定律的法则。它表明我们评判经历不是基于持续时间，而是基于巅峰时刻和结束时刻。这就是为什么一个善意的告别或一次残忍的离场会在记忆中定义整段关系。

We remember endings more than middles. It sounds obvious, but stay with me for how it applies to life. Psychologist Daniel Kahneman has a rule called his peak end rule. And it shows that we judge experiences not by how long they lasted, but by the peak moment and the ending moment. That's why a single kind goodbye or one cruel exit defines the whole relationship in our memory.

峰终定律是由诺贝尔奖得主心理学家丹尼尔·卡尼曼及其同事阿莫斯·特沃斯基发现的心理学原理。它指出：我们不会通过平均时长或总时长来评判一段经历，而是通过两个时刻：一是巅峰（最强烈的部分，无论好坏）；二是结尾（经历如何收场）。

The peak end rule is a psychological principle discovered by Nobel Prize winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman and his colleague Amos Tversky. It says, We don't judge an experience by its average or total duration. We judge it by two moments. One, the peak, the most intense part, whether good or bad. And number two, the end, how the experience concluded.

其余一切都会淡入背景。卡尼曼做过著名的冰水实验来证明这点：参与者将手放入刺骨冷水中60秒；第二次试验中他们将手放入冷水90秒，但在最后30秒水温略微回升。

Everything else fades into the background. So Kahneman did a famous cold water experiment that proved this. Participants put their hand in painfully cold water for sixty seconds. In a second trial, they put their hand in cold water for ninety seconds. But in the last thirty seconds, the water was made slightly warmer.

水依然寒冷，但痛感稍减。按理说第二次试验更糟——90秒痛苦而非60秒——但多数人偏好更长的试验，因为结局没那么痛苦。

It was still cold, but a little less painful. Logically the second trial should be worse. Ninety seconds of pain instead of sixty. But most people preferred the longer trial. Because the ending was less painful.

大脑不会记住完整时间线，它只记住巅峰和结尾。这对我们的人生和人际关系意味着什么？一次残忍的告别能遮蔽多年的爱。我确信你曾深爱过、付出过的人，仅仅因为结局不愉快，如今他们憎恨你。

The brain didn't remember the full timeline. It remembered the peak and the end. Now, what does this mean for us in our life and our relationships? One cruel goodbye can overshadow years of love. I'm sure there's someone that you loved on, that you cared about, that you did so much for, but because you didn't end on good terms, they hate you.

对吧？因为结局不愉快，他们诋毁你；因为结局不愉快，他们向所有人说伤害你的话。你肯定深有体会。

Right? Because you didn't end on good terms, they talk bad about you. Because you didn't end on good terms, they say hurtful things about you to everyone else. Right? I'm sure you can relate.

而在生命尽头的一次善意举动，能治愈数十年的疏离。我们不会携带完整记录，只带着巅峰与结局。这如何应用于工作？人们很少记得几十次平庸会议，

And one kind act at the end of someone's life can heal decades of distance. We don't carry the full record. We carry the peak and the ending. Now, how does this apply to work? People rarely remember the dozens of average meetings.

他们记得一次振奋人心的演讲，以及离开公司时的感受。日常体验呢？无论是假期、婚礼还是音乐会，人们记住高光时刻和最后时刻。糟糕的返程航班会毁掉整个假期。我们以为生活以时分衡量，

They remember the one inspiring keynote and how they felt when they left the company. And what about daily experiences? Whether it's vacations, weddings, concerts, people remember the highlight moment and the final moments. A bad flight home can sour the whole vacation. We think life is measured in hours and days.

但记忆用瞬间与结局丈量人生。请妥善收尾：永远让遇见的人和地方比初遇时更美好。别让事情以糟糕音符结束。第二，

But memory measures life in moments and endings. End things well. Always leave people and places better and happier than you find them. Don't let things end on a bad note. Two.

设计巅峰时刻：不必追求事事完美，创造有意的瞬间——意外纸条、突如其来的感谢、难忘的体验。巅峰比完美更重要。第三。

Design peaks. Don't aim to make everything perfect. Create intentional moments, A surprise note, an unexpected thank you, one unforgettable experience. Peaks matter more than perfection. Number three.

妥善处理冲突的收尾。即使对话艰难，也要以尊重结束。简单说一句'即使我们意见不合，我依然在乎你'，就能改变整个互动被铭记的方式。以上就是我在过去十二个月里学到的经验教训。

Manage endings in conflict. Even if a conversation is hard, end it with respect. Simply by saying I care about you even if we disagree can change how the entire interaction is remembered. So there you have it. Those are the lessons that I have learned in the last twelve months.

正如每位重要导师所言：未修复的会重演，未反思的会重演，未释怀的会重演，未揭露的会重演，未重构的会重演。

And as every important teacher has said before, you repeat what you don't repair. You repeat what you don't reflect on. You repeat what you don't release. You repeat what you don't reveal. You repeat what you don't reframe.

你不尊重自己的部分会重演，你不承担责任的部分会重演。模式不会随时间消失，只会通过努力消散。所以我希望你在生日时永远记得尝试践行这些。

You repeat what you don't respect in yourself. And you repeat what you don't take responsibility for. Patterns don't disappear with time. They disappear with work. So I hope you always remember to try and do that on your birthday.

花点时间去做吧。希望这些建议对你有帮助。非常感谢你们的聆听与观看。请记住我永远站在你们这边，始终为你们加油。若喜欢本期播客，你也会爱上我和刘易斯·汉密尔顿的对谈。

Take a moment to do it. I hope these have helped. Thank you so much for listening and watching. Remember I'm forever in your corner and I'm always rooting for you. If you love this podcast, you'll love my episode with Lewis Hamilton.

我们探讨了为何要停止追逐社会定义的成功，以及如何更专注地制定目标。这期不容错过。

Lewis and I talk about why you should stop chasing society's definition of success and how to be more intentional with your goals. You don't wanna miss it.

重点不在于完美，而在于每天进步一点点，努力做得更好。我正在深度认识自我，必须打破旧我才能成长。

Like, it's not about being perfect. It's about just every day, one step at a time, trying to be better, trying to do more. I'm learning a lot about myself. I have to break myself down in order to be able to be better.

大家好，我是Radhidavlukya，我是

Hey. I'm Radhidavlukya, and I'm the

《真情流露》播客的主持人。我有幸与薇薇安对话。无论你想摆脱债务、积累财富、强势谈判，还是终于搞懂理财之道，薇薇安都是

host of a really good cry podcast. And I have the opportunity to talk to Vivian too. Whether you're trying to get out of debt, build wealth, negotiate like a boss, or just finally understand how to do money right, Vivian is the person

最佳咨询对象。不了解自己的财务状况存在遭受经济剥削的风险。正因如此，每位女性都必须掌握

to ask. Not understanding your own money and not understanding finances, there is risk for financial abuse. Yeah. And that is why every single woman needs to be good

理财技能。欢迎在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或任何播客平台收听《真情流露》。

with money. Listen to A Really Good Cry on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

本周《亲爱的切尔西》节目由我切尔西·汉德勒主持。玛伦·莫里斯做客现场。你经历了一段婚姻的结束，也告别了所谓的乡村音乐圈，据我观察，你经历了巨大的成长蜕变。

This week on Dear Chelsea with me, Chelsea Handler. Maren Morris is here. You came out of a marriage. You came out of, quote, unquote, country music, and you had a huge growth spurt from what I can tell.

我当时正以极快的速度拓展成长。没错，你可以把初为人母和产后适应期算进去，那是个重新认识自我的过程。我经历了多次身份认同危机，但我意识到不能为了他人停下脚步或回首过去。

I was expanding and growing at a really fast pace. And yes, you could throw motherhood and the postpartum thing, learning about myself. There were a lot of, like, identity crises going on, but I realized, like, I can't look back and slow down for people.

欢迎在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或任何你获取播客的平台收听《亲爱的切尔西》。

Listen to Dear Chelsea on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

当我们直面死亡时会发生什么？

What happens when we come face to face with death?

我的卡车被一枚20磅重的反坦克地雷炸毁。

My truck was blown up by a 20 pound anti tank mine.

我的降落伞没能打开。

My parachute did not deploy.

我曾被毒品集团绑架。

I was kidnapped by a drug cartel.

当我们跨越认知边界时——我在临床上已经死亡。心脏停止跳动。确切地说我死亡了11分30秒。但奇迹般地，我被抢救回来了。

When we stepped beyond the edge of what we know I clinically died. The heart stopped beating. Which I was dead for eleven point five minutes. In return. It's a miracle I was brought back.

《重生》，一档讲述人类精神力量的播客。欢迎在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或任何你收听喜爱节目的平台收听《重生》。

Alive again, a podcast about the strength of the human spirit. Listen to alive again on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

本节目由iHeart播客出品。

This is an iHeart podcast.