达尓·曼：尚未到达你想要的位置？（遵循这个五步框架，停止过度思考，立即行动）

你最大的困扰，恰恰就是你最强的优势。

Your greatest struggle is actually your greatest superpower.

我再举个例子，因为我们都有个共同的朋友，Jamie Kern Lima，IT Cosmetics的创始人。

And I'll give another example because we both have a mutual friend, Jamie Kern Lima, the founder of IT Cosmetics.

她最初也是在媒体行业起步，但一直因为皮肤问题感到羞愧，甚至被别人贬低。

She started her career also in media and she was always ashamed or made to feel bad about herself because of different skin issues that she had.

是的，玫瑰痤疮。

Yeah, rosacea.

她有玫瑰痤疮。

She had rosacea.

她怎么也找不到市面上适合自己的护肤品。

And she can never find a product in the marketplace that actually worked for her.

于是她决定自己开发一款产品。

So eventually she decided to create her own product.

她把最深的痛苦转化成了最大的优势，最终把品牌以十亿美元卖给了欧莱雅。

She turned her biggest struggle into her biggest superpower and eventually sold her brand to L'Oreal for $1,000,000,000.

想想你生活中那些你总想躲着不敢面对的方面，这些恰恰可能是带你走向成功、让你吸引到一群和你经历相似的人的关键。

So think about those areas in your life that you feel you're actually trying to hide from, and those actually might be the things that take you to success and grow you into having the biggest audience of people that are experiencing something very similar to what you're going through.

这一点我很喜欢。

I love that.

好，E代表什么？

Alright, what's E?

第二步是E，赢得观众的信任。

The second step is E, earn your audience's trust.

让人看一次视频很容易。

It's easy to get somebody to watch a video one time.

但如果你想长期做内容创作，就得让人愿意一次次回来。

But if you're gonna build a sustainable career as a creator, you have to get them to keep coming back.

那他们为什么会一再回来呢？

And how are they gonna keep coming back?

就是因为信任你。

Is if they trust you.

要让观众信任你，前提是你得清楚他们是谁。

And the only way to get your audience to trust you is if you know who your audience is.

他们喜欢什么？

What do they like?

他们有什么感受？

What do they feel?

是什么在情感上驱动着他们？

What drives them emotionally?

他们能和什么产生共鸣？

What do they connect with?

他们正在经历哪些困难？

What are things that they're struggling?

如果你能帮观众被看见，他们就会一遍又一遍地回来看你视频。

If you help your audience become seen, they'll want to come back and watch your videos over and over again.

所以，我们讲的故事里角色非常多元，收到最多的评论就是这一点。

So the number one comment that I get with our stories, because we tell stories that have very diverse characters.

那时候，好莱坞传统上主要是白人主导的。

This was in a time where, you know, Hollywood traditionally has been mainly white.

我刚开始做内容的时候，就特意找了一些和我长相相似的人出现在视频里。

And when I started creating content, I created content with people in the videos that looked just like me.

我是印度人，我妻子是西班牙裔，我们的团队非常多元。

I mean, I'm Indian, my wife is Hispanic, our team is very diverse.

所以我们视频里出现的，就是这些不同背景的人，真实反映了各种人群。

So those are the types of people that we put in our videos, and it represented all types of people.

从一开始，所有故事线都源自我个人失败的经历。

And all the storylines from the beginning came from my own life experience of failure.

因为其他人能感同身受，他们也经历过类似的困难，于是说：我在你的内容里看到了自己，这才是真正打动他们的地方。

And because other people could relate to what I had been through or experienced similar types of hardships, they said, I see myself in your content and that's what was able to connect with them.

其实我们刚开播前还聊到这个，你有那么多人都想上你的播客。

And so similarly, we were just talking about this actually before we started the podcast, you have so many people that wanna come on your podcast.

当然，也许你知道他们可能会引发争议，所以视频点击量会很高。

And sure, maybe you know it's gonna get a lot of views because they might be a controversial person.

现在这个环境大家都明白，只要你讲点有争议的话，流量肯定少不了。

And as we know in today's environment, if you say things that are controversial, you'll probably get a lot of views.

但你选择让你的平台、你的品牌、你的使命代表某种东西。

But you made the decision that your platform, your brand, your mission stands for something.

那就是你本人的真实样子。

It's who you are.

所以你主动放弃了一些可能带来短期爆红的人，因为你相信长远的发展，更重要的是，你不想让观众失望。

So you have made certain decisions to not platform someone that might have gotten you a lot of short term success, but because you believe in your long term success, and more importantly, because you wouldn't ever wanna disappoint your audience.

如果你想在内容创作这条路上走得长远，每一步都得用心赢得观众的信任。

So everything you do, you need to think about earning your audience's trust if you wanna build a sustainable career as a creator.

当人们感觉所有人都在盯着你，可突然间又没人关注了，再回头一看，所有人又都回来了，这时候他们会怎么做？

What do people do when they feel like everyone's watching and then now no one's watching and everyone's watching and no one's watching.

你几乎会觉得，自己一直在努力争取观众的信任。

Like, you almost feel like you're trying to earn your audience's trust.

你本来以为他们会喜欢这个内容，结果现在却没人理了。

You thought they'd be interested in this, but now they're not.

你是不是觉得特别泄气，因为上一个视频居然有一百万播放量。

And you're feeling disheartened by the fact that, god, the last video got like a million views.

这个视频才一万播放量。

This video got like 10,000 views.

下一个视频？算了，别提了，简直没法说。

The next video or let's not even talk about that astronomical.

我第一个视频有一千个赞，那时候特别有成就感。

My first video got a thousand likes, I felt really good.

第二个视频才一百个赞。

My second video got a 100 likes.

当你感觉数据忽高忽低的时候，该怎么办？

What do you do when you feel like it's flip flopping?

你到底哪里做错了？

What are you doing wrong?

你到底没明白什么？

What are you not understanding?

我觉得在转型这件事上，不管是做生意还是过日子，很多时候你会发现，原本行之有效的方法突然就不管用了。

I think when it comes to pivoting, right, In business, in life, there's gonna be a lot of times where something is working and it no longer is.

所以，你怎么判断什么时候才是真正该调整策略的时机呢？

So how do you know when is the right time to actually switch your strategy?

毕竟大家通常给的建议是什么？

Because what is the common advice?

别放弃，坚持到底。

Don't give up, keep going.

你猜怎么着？

Guess what?

我自己也常这么劝别人。

I peddle this advice too.

但到了某个节点，你可能就得考虑换个方向了。

But there is a point in time where hey, you might want to go do something else.

没错。

Yeah.

我觉得有三个理由会让你考虑做出调整。

And there's three reasons I would say that you ever want to pivot.

第一，当你内心的追求和外在的结果不再一致时。

Number one is when your inner goals no longer align with the outer outcome.

我的意思是，你的人生目标和你每天在做的事情脱节了。

And what I mean by that is your purpose is no longer aligned with what you're doing on a daily basis.

很多时候，当我们努力想成功却一直不顺时，就可能是该调整的时候了。

And a lot of times we might feel that when you're trying to become successful and it's not working, that's when you probably need to pivot.

但我见过不少已经很成功的人，他们虽然做得不错，但做的事早已不再契合他们的使命，也无法满足他们内心的初衷。

I know just as many people that are actually very successful at something, but they're successful at doing something that no longer serves their mission or fulfills their why.

这其实是世界上最难的事之一——明明已经成功了，却还要决定停下，因为这件事不再符合真实的自己。

And that's the hardest thing in the world, to take something that is already successful and decide that I'm no longer gonna do this because it no longer aligns with who I am.

但如果你不做这个决定，最后一定会有糟糕的结局。

But if you don't make that decision, it's always gonna end badly.

所以，如果你感觉和自己的初心越来越远，那就是第一个该改变的信号。

So if you're ever feeling like you no longer are aligned with your purpose, that's the first reason to shift.

对。

Mhmm.

第二个原因是市场变了，或者受众变了。

The second reason is when the market has changed or the audience has changed.

我们总想继续推出同样的东西，因为以前它成功过，甚至好多年都管用。

We keep wanting to put out the same thing because it's worked one time or it's worked for many years.

但到了某个时候，潮流就会变。

But at certain points in time, trends change.

算法也会变。

The algorithm changes.

人们的喜好、公众的兴趣，不管是什么，都会发生变化。

Desires, public interest, whatever it is changes.

所以我们得敢于面对现实的残酷真相，这些往往能促使你去尝试新东西。

And so we have to be able to face the hard truths of reality, and those will often get you to try new things.

有本特别好的书叫《谁动了我的奶酪？》

There's this great book called Who Moved My Cheese?

是的，这本书很棒。

Yeah, great book.

书里讲的是几只老鼠总想着去老地方找奶酪，但实验中，奶酪被移到了新地方。

Yeah, and it's basically about mice trying to go to the same place that they've always found cheese, and then as an experiment, that cheese gets moved to a new location.

有一群老鼠反复回到那个已经没有奶酪的老地方，一次又一次，死活不肯放弃；另一群老鼠几次发现没奶酪后，就改道去别的地方找了。

There's a certain group of mice that keep going back to that same place that that cheese was not found, and they keep going again and again and they never give up, and then there's another group that after a couple times where they realize the cheese wasn't there, they actually go a different path and start looking at different areas.

最快适应变化的老鼠，活得也最久。

The ones that were able to move on the quickest were actually the mice that survived the longest.

如果你所在的行业里‘奶酪’被搬走了，你得看得出来。

So if the cheese in your industry has been moved, you have to be able to see that.

对。

Yeah.

第三点，如果你一直不调整，是不是因为害怕，不敢正视现实？

The third thing I would say is if you are not pivoting, is it because you are worried and not facing the truth about reality?

因为这确实让人害怕。

Because it is scary.

当一件事长期有效，突然之间你却得去尝试从未做过的新方法时，那种恐惧真的特别强烈。

It is so scary when something has worked for so long and the idea to now all of a sudden have to do something new that you've never done before.

但你卡在原地的时间越长，找到新的成功路径就越慢。

But the longer you stay stuck in that place, the longer it's gonna take for you to find that new way of success.

所以问问自己，你不愿转变，是因为觉得数据出错了，还是因为你在逃避？

So just ask yourself, are you not pivoting because you think the data is wrong?

还是说，你只是不愿意面对现实？

Or is it because you're in denial?

如果你真的在逃避，那就得直面这个残酷的事实：是时候做出改变了。

And if you're in denial, then you have to face that that hard truth that it's time to make a change.

我敢说，翻过这座山的另一边，一定有非凡的成就等着你。

And I will say, there's always greatness on the other side of that mountain.

我知道这听起来很吓人。

I know it sounds scary.

现在正在听这段话的你，此刻所处的位置，如果回看五年前，大概率比那时更好。

Anyone listening to this right now, you are at a place in your life right now that if you look back five years ago, you're probably at a better place.

那是因为你接受了某些起初让人害怕的重大改变，并做出了这些决定，才有了今天的你。

And that's because you embrace certain hard changes that might have felt scary at first, but you made those decisions to get to where you are today.

所以，别怀疑自己应对新环境和变化的能力，无论你人生下一阶段会带来什么。

So don't doubt your ability to overcome whatever new environments and changes that are gonna be there for whatever this new chapter of your in your life is gonna bring.

顺便说一句，谢谢你这么有条理。

By the way, thank you for being so systematic.

这就是我喜欢达哈尔的原因，因为他对每件事都有自己的体系和方法，那三点真的帮了大忙。

This is why I love Dhar because Dhar has a system and a methodology for everything, and and those three points help so much.

从公司成立第一天起，我就实际应用了这一点，我称之为七三法则：70%的内容始终是经过验证有效的，剩下的30%则用来尝试和探索。

And one of the ways I practically applied that in my company from day one was what I call the seventythirty rule, which was that 70% of our content would always be what we know works and 30% would always be trial and error.

所以，即使有30%的帖子完全失败、没人看，我们也不在意，因为只要有一个成功了，它就会成为未来70%的一部分。

And so we were okay if 30% of our posts absolutely tanked and didn't work because the one that did work would become the next phase of the 70%.

这种模式我们已经反复验证过很多次了。

And we've seen that time and time and time again.

我们会不断尝试新形式、新类型的内容，但这些只占我们产出的30%，因为这30%将来会变成新的70%。

You will see us trialing new formats and trialing new types of content all the time, but that's 30% of our output because that 30% will become the future 70%.

我们常犯的错误就是只做百分之百确定有效的内容，一旦这条路走不通了，就不知道下一步该做什么。

The mistake we make is you do a 100% of what works and when it ends, you don't know what's gonna work.

然后你不得不全押在试错上，结果百分之九十都失败，那真的会让人特别害怕。

And now you have to go a 100% in trial and then you'll have 90% failure and that gets really, really scary.

你刚才说的这些点特别关键，这正是我们一直以来实践的方式。

And so these points that you just shared are huge and that's been one of the ways that we've implemented it.

我刚入行那会儿，大概十年前，2016年1月，看到很多同行都成了单一平台的人。

I even saw in the early days, like I saw a lot of my peers in this space when I started, which was actually just ten years ago, twenty sixteen, Jan, this year, I saw a lot of my peers become one platform people.

很多人直接变成了只做YouTube的创作者。

And I saw a lot of people become like a YouTuber.

那时候我完全是Facebook派的，所有内容都发在那儿。

At that time I was a Facebooker through and through, like that's where I made content.

我还看到一些前辈，甚至更早的元老级人物，靠YouTube赚的钱帮父母还清了房贷。

And I saw people, like I saw peers of mine or even actually even people before me, hindsight, the OGs, who literally paid off their parents' mortgage because of how much money they made on YouTube.

可第二年，连自己的房租都付不起了。

And then the next year couldn't pay their own rent.

他们跟父母住在一起。

They were living with their parents.

跟父母住着。

Living with their parents.

我得搬进你那套我付过款的房子了。

And I paid that house I bought you, I gotta move into now.

没错。

Totally.

我当时特别难过。

And I was so heartbroken.

看着这些，我心里直发毛。

I was watching that, I was like, god, that's scary.

我意识到，不能只依赖一个平台。

And I noticed that you couldn't be bound to a platform.

即使当时一个平台让我赚得风生水起，我们还是始终在搭建多个平台和衍生业务，因为不能把希望全押在一个地方。

So even though one platform was killing it for me, we were always building multiple platforms and multiple businesses off the back of that because you couldn't rely.

你所说的这些，其实都是很实际的做法，就算我以前没用过你刚说的那套方法，我们当时也是这么做的。

And so everything you're saying are practical things that even in my life, even though I didn't have that methodology you just laid out, those are the practical ways we were doing it.

我们来谈A吧。

Let's go to A.

第三步是A，搭建一个系统。

The third step is A, architect a system.

你刚才描述的，其实就是一个成功的框架。

What you're describing right now is a framework for success.

目标不应该是做出一条内容。

The goal shouldn't be to create a piece of content.

目标应该是打造一家公司，或者一个内容机器。

The goal should be to create a company or a content machine.

不管你打算一个人单干，还是组建五千人的团队，成为下一个迪士尼，都没关系。

It doesn't matter even if you wanna be a one person practitioner or if you wanna have a 5,000 person team and become the next Disney.

无论怎样，你都该把内容当成在创办一家公司来思考。

The goal should always be to think about content as creating a company.

我的意思是，你得有相应的系统在运作。

And what I mean by that is you have certain systems in place.

你得有一套成熟的方法论。

You have certain methodologies.

你得有测试新内容的方式，同时也要把已经有效的作品做到极致。

You have ways of testing new content, and also super serving the content that is working.

对我们来说，我们有一套流程，比如怎么决定是否上线某个内容，从脚本到成片的整个流程是怎么走的？

And so for us, you know, we have processes when it comes to how do we green light content, How does something flow from script all the way to screen?

中间涉及的所有环节都有明确的流程。

And all the different processes that are involved in between.

我们有一支很棒的团队，一直在提升自己，学习新技能，我们赋予他们权力，确保内容风格连贯一致。

We have a great team that's always leveling up and learning new skills that we've empowered in order to make sure that the content has continuity.

我见过太多人只火过一次，但那绝对不该是目标。

Because I know so many people that have gone viral once, and that should never be the goal.

只要你有扎实的公司基础，有这些系统和流程支撑，能每周持续推出新内容、新产品，或者 whatever your goal is，这才是通向长期成功的真正关键。

Because if you have the company infrastructure underneath, and all of these systems and processes that make sure that you can keep putting out new content every single week or new products or whatever your goal is, that's what's gonna ultimately lead you to long term success.

快乐很重要，但也很难捉摸，你没法直接买来，没法借来，也不能光靠指望它就自动出现。但现在，有一种全新而令人兴奋的方式，能帮你开启通往更快乐生活的旅程。

Joy is essential and it's also elusive you can't order it you can't borrow it or simply hope it into life but now there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence.

《快乐入门》是一档新播客，由我主持，我们会和嘉宾展开真诚深入的对话，探讨如何过上更平衡、更和谐的生活。

Joy one zero one it's a new podcast hosted by me how to copy together guys will have meaningful conversations with part

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of

如果你渴望灵感、支持，以及实用的工具来最大化你的快乐，这档播客一定会打动你。无论是分手后的快乐、空巢后的快乐，还是失去亲人后的快乐，抑或是作为照顾者的快乐，这档节目都会为你发声。快来喜马拉雅、苹果播客，或你常用的播客平台收听《快乐入门》吧。

I and takes on seeking a more balanced and harmonious life if you're craving inspiration support and useful tools to maximize your joy tune into these candid uplifting and moving on air chats joy after a breakup joy is an empty nest or joy after a loss joy as a caretaker this new podcast will speak to you listen to joy one zero one on the iheart radio app Apple podcast or wherever yet your podcast.

还有一件事，你让我想起来，我特别喜欢。

There's one more thing you reminded me of that I loved.

我们几年前就做过这个。

We did this years ago.

我们以前会玩一个叫‘板子测试’的游戏。

We used to do something that I learned called the board test.

我们会一起看视频或者听播客，团队里谁一觉得无聊，就立刻举手。

And so what we would do is we'd watch a video or we'd watch a podcast as a group, as a team, and people would start putting up their hands as soon as they got bored.

这感觉就像看《美国达人秀》，有人按了红灯，表演者就得继续演，直到所有人都按下红灯为止。

And it was almost like when you watch America's Got Talent and someone presses the buzzer and the person has to keep performing until everyone pots their buzzer out.

效果特别棒，因为我们能清楚地看到每一刻：天哪，这期播客在三十秒时就让人提不起兴趣了。

And it was amazing because we got to see every moment in which it was like, God, this podcast got boring at thirty seconds.

那我们在三十秒的时候该怎么做，才能让大家保持连接感呢？

What are we gonna do at thirty seconds to help people feel connected?

或者这段视频在三分十七秒时变得无聊了。

Or this video got boring at three minutes seventeen seconds.

我们要在那儿加些什么才能留住观众的注意力呢？

What are we gonna add there to keep attention?

正是这些系统让我们能够制作出引人入胜的内容。

And it was these systems that allowed us to create engaging content.

我觉得大家没意识到，呈现出一部优秀的作品背后，需要投入多少工程化的努力、深思熟虑以及刻意的规划。

And I think people don't realize how much engineering and how much thought and how much intentionality goes into serving a great piece of content.

当你回顾那些你最爱看的电视剧，或者那些让你着迷的电影时，你会发现，这是因为有人对剧本里的每一句台词、画面中的每一个镜头和角度都倾注了极大的心血。

When you look at the best TV shows you love, when you look at the best movies that you're fixated on, it's because someone has obsessed over every single line in that script and every single visual and angle that you see.

你观看它，不是因为它偶然抓住了你的注意力。

You're not just watching it because it happened to capture your attention.

我觉得我们几乎有一种错觉，以为只要创作出艺术，它自然就会成功。

And I think we almost have this false belief that like, when you make art, it just works.

没错。

Right.

但我对这一点不太确定。

And I'm like, I'm not sure about that.

这既是艺术，也是科学。

It's it's as much an art as it is a science.

我们内容收入的一半，都来自把同样的视频重新剪辑，发布到其他平台或做成不同形式的内容。

Half of our revenue from content comes from just repurposing the same videos into other platforms or into different types of content.

我来解释一下。

Here's what I mean.

在传统媒体里，如果你打造了一个热门IP，对吧？

In traditional media, if you create a hit franchise, right?

比如说《老友记》或者《宋飞正传》，你能把这样的剧卖到多少个不同的平台上去？

Let's say Friends or Seinfeld, how many times are you able to sell that show to so many different places?

你在Netflix上看，在Hulu上看，在Disney+上看，到处都能看到。

You're watching it on Netflix, you're watching it on Hulu, you're watching it on Disney, all these different places.

所以那些制作这些内容的人，可以一遍又一遍地从中赚钱。

So the people that created that that content, they can keep monetizing it over and over.

但在社交媒体上，创作者就没法这么做了。

But on social media, it doesn't work that way for creators.

你发一条内容，它在头三十天内能赚到的钱，通常占了你这辈子能从这条内容里赚到的95%。

You put out one piece of content, whatever it's gonna generate in the first thirty days is typically about 95% of the money that you're ever gonna make.

但其实没必要这样。

But it doesn't have to be that way.

所以我开始想办法，让这些内容重新焕发生机。

And so what I started doing was I started figuring out ways to give that content new life.

我几年前就开始这么做了，现在这套方法已经没那么神秘了，比如说我拍了一条YouTube视频，时长二十一分钟。

I started doing this several years ago, now it's a little bit more known of a system, but let's say I create a YouTube video, and that video is twenty one minutes.

我面对的观众就是那些愿意花二十一个小时看视频的人。

I am being served an audience that is watching that video who wants to consume twenty one minute videos.

这些人可能正在吃晚饭，只有大约二十分钟空闲，在客厅里看视频；但还有一群人更喜欢看两小时的长视频，算法正好在推给他们。

These are people that are probably eating dinner and have about twenty minutes to watch, watching in their living room, but there's a whole another group out there of people that want two hour videos, and that's what the algorithm is serving them.

所以我把现有的视频重新组合起来，每段大约二十分钟，我把六段拼在一起，再提炼出一个主题。

And then so what I did was I took my existing videos and I would combine, if they're about twenty minutes each, I would combine combine six of them, and I would come up with the theme.

比如说，整个主题围绕着‘善意’。

Let's say there's a whole theme around kindness.

你对这个世界付出的善意，最终都会回到你身上。

You know, the kindness you put out into the world always comes back to you.

这就是我所说的‘内容包装’。

That is what I consider packaging.

我会把六段有相似主题的视频整合成一组。

I'll put six videos together that have that sort of a lesson.

然后把这组内容单独做成一个视频，发布在另一个频道上。

And then I will put that on a standalone channel as a separate video.

现在YouTube会把这套内容推送给另一批完全不同的观众。

And now YouTube is gonna go and serve a whole different audience that content.

这样一来，这六条视频的内容就能再次发挥余热。

So now out of those six videos, I'm getting another life out of that content.

你要学会对内容进行这样的操作。

You do this with the content.

其实很多人都在用这种方式处理内容。

A lot of people do this with content.

这是大家都知道的。

That's a known thing.

我们做的另一件事是把内容剪短。

The other thing that we do is cutting down the content.

很多人现在都知道做切片，当然，就是把同一段内容，截取出一分钟的版本，然后发到 TikTok、Instagram Reels 和 YouTube Shorts 上。

A lot of people know clipping, of course, now you take that same piece of content, you find one minute versions, you put it on TikTok, you put it on Instagram reels, you put it on YouTube shorts.

对，挺好的。

Yeah, great.

虽然这可能赚不了多少钱，但它能帮你提升曝光度，最终引导观众回到你的主YouTube频道、播客或者其他平台。

That might not be generating much revenue, but it's helping you gain a certain level of exposure that ideally is gonna lead to long form views Back to your main YouTube channel, your podcast, whatever it is.

我们还会做一种叫‘内容重构’的事，就是把一段二十分钟的内容剪成七分钟左右的视频。

But we also do something called reversioning, which is taking a twenty minute piece of content and we'll cut it down into let's say a seven minute video.

我们会查看视频的观看留存曲线。

We'll look at the retention graphs of the video.

挑出最精彩的部分，发布前还会用一套完整的测试流程来验证这段内容。

We'll take the most interesting parts, and before we post it, we have a whole system of testing that piece of content.

我们会把一段二十分钟的内容剪出二十个七分钟的版本，投Facebook广告——顺便说一句，听起来好像很贵，但其实每条视频我们只花五美元测试，看看哪个表现最好，再把那个发到Facebook上。

We'll take a twenty minute piece of content, create 20 different versions of it in a seven minute video, run Facebook ads, and by the way when I say this, know it sounds expensive, I'm talking about we'll spend like $5 testing each video, see what the best performing one was and then post that one on our Facebook.

归根结底，就是得有一套测试和优化的流程。

So it just goes back to having a system in place of testing, of optimizing.

这些做法，最终才会帮你实现长期的成功。

These are the things that are gonna ultimately help lead you to long term success.

这正是大创作者和小创作者之间的区别，后者可能根本没意识到这一点。

That's the difference between what big creators are doing and smaller creators that they may not understand.

大创作者并不是一天有更多时间。

It's not that big creators have more time in their day.

他们也不一定比你更拼命。

They're not necessarily working harder than you are.

我知道很多小创作者可能和我一样努力，甚至更拼。

I know lots of small creators are probably working just as hard or if not harder as I am.

他们只是有一套做事的方法，如果你能学会这些方法，就能获得成功的优势。

They just have a method of doing things and so if you can learn what those methods are that's going to give you the advantage for success.

我再给你打个比方。

I'll give you one last analogy.

如果有人让你在三十天内尽可能多地砍树，然后给你一把斧头，你会怎么做？

If someone asked you go out and cut as many trees as you possibly can and they're gonna give you thirty days to accomplish that job and hand you a pickaxe.

你会怎么办？

What are you gonna do?

大多数人会拿起斧头就开始砍。

Most people would grab that axe and start chopping.

当然，一开始他们确实在取得进展。

And sure, in the beginning, they're making progress.

比如说，他们每天能砍一棵树。

Let's say that they can cut one tree a day.

我不太清楚具体怎么算，一天到底能砍多少棵树。

I don't know how this all works, how many trees you can cut a day.

我可不是在鼓励大家去砍树。

I'm not encouraging anyone to cut trees.

让我把这一点说清楚。

Let me get that.

我也得把这点说明白。

Let me also get that out there.

明白吗？

Alright?

我们都很爱护树木。

We love trees.

但为了简单起见，我们就假设这一个人每天能砍一棵树。

But that one person can, let's just say cut one tree a day for simplicity.

另一个人则想，我不打算亲自去砍树，我要建一套砍树的系统。

The other person goes and thinks, hey, I'm not gonna start cutting trees, I'm gonna create a system for cutting trees.

我要开一家专门砍树的公司。

I'm gonna create a tree cutting company.

我要去招人，或者建一个完整的树木加工工厂，花上二十九天时间来做这些事。

I'm gonna go out and recruit people now or build a whole tree manufacturing facility and I'm gonna spend twenty nine days doing this.

表面上看，那个每天砍树的人好像领先了很多。

So on the surface, it looks like that one person that's cutting trees, they're way ahead.

二十九天里他砍了二十九棵树，而另一个人一棵都没砍。

They've cut 29 trees in twenty nine days while the other person hasn't cut a single one.

但到了第三十天，当那个人带着一队专业砍树工人、先进的工具、齐全的物资和整座工厂出现时，一天之内就能砍三百棵树，而别人一天只能砍一棵。

But on the thirtieth day when that person shows up with an army of dream cutters, and all their sophisticated tools, and supplies, and a whole factory, they're gonna cut 300 trees on the day that someone was gonna cut one.

所以，重点应该放在打造公司上，而不是亲自去做具体的事。

So focus on building the company, not the content.

对。

Yeah.

说得好。

Well said.

第四步，就是要在情感上打动观众。

So step four is r, reach people emotionally.

我们总是太纠结于剪辑是否完美、光线是否完美、角度是否完美。

And the whole idea is that we're so obsessed about having the perfect edit, or the perfect lighting, or the perfect angle.

说到底，这些东西确实有点帮助，但它们并不是观众来看你内容的真正原因。

All those things at the end of the day, yeah, they help a little bit, but that's not gonna be the reason why people watch.

现在听播客或看视频的人，心里想的绝不会是：哎呀，虽然内容一般，但灯光真棒，或者音效特别好之类的。

No one is listening to this podcast right now or watching it on a video think, oh my gosh, the podcast isn't great but the lighting, the lighting is amazing or the sound effects or whatever else.

所以还是回到我们一开始聊的那个话题。

So it goes back to what we were talking about early.

别太纠结于把形式做得多么完美。

Don't try to worry about being so polished.

真正的成功，在于持续与观众保持情感上的共鸣。

The real success is in trying to keep that emotional resonance with your audience.

我们称之为留存率，但说到底，视频的留存率到底是什么？

We call it retention, but really what is retention of any video?

就是你能否与观众建立情感上的连接。

It's your ability to connect emotionally with an audience.

人们现在还愿意听下去，是因为他们感受到了些什么。

The only reason that people are still listening right now is they're feeling something.

这才是真正的留存曲线。

That is the ultimate retention graph.

所以别太纠结于那些数据、指标和各种数字。

So don't get overly concerned about all these metrics and the data and all those things.

是的。

Yeah.

这些在搭建系统时确实重要，但你也得打动人心。

They matter in architecting the system, but you also have to reach people emotionally.

我觉得我的内容之所以有效，原因就在这里。

And with my content, I think that's why it has worked.

比如，有非常多的家庭会看我们的视频。

I have so many families, for instance, that watch our videos.

好多妈妈来找我，说：Dhar，我怎么都讲不进我孩子的话，可不知为啥，一看你视频，他们就突然明白了。

So many moms come to me and they say, Dhar, I have a hard time trying to get my teenager to listen to anything I say, but for some reason, when they watch your videos, they suddenly get the lesson.

现在我把看你的视频当成我们每晚的固定环节，这反而让我和孩子的相处更融洽了。

And because now I've been able to embrace watching your videos with them as part of our nightly routine, that's actually improved the relationship that I have with my child.

这种情感上的连接，就是我们成功的秘密，对吧？

That is an emotional connection, right, that exists and has been the secret for our success.

因为人们有了感受，才会想分享给别人。

Because people feel something, they'll wanna share it with others.

他们也会想留言。

They'll wanna comment.

我最喜欢的一条留言是：这个视频让我哭了。

My favorite comment is, this video made me cry.

这个视频改善了我和我配偶的关系。

This video improved my relationship with my spouse.

这个视频让我明白，即使失败了，我依然可以重新站起来，再试一次。

This video helped me realize that even if I failed, I can get back up and try again.

我敢说，你的评论和私信里全是这类留言。

And I'm sure your comments and your DMs are flooded with those sorts of things.

所以我觉得，这就是第四步：试着打动人的心。

So I would say that's step four, try to reach the heart.

我完全同意。

I couldn't agree more.

我记得几年前，这还是一个很早很早的报道。

I remember years ago, this is before I mean, is this is an old, old article.

当时有人研究了大约七千条爆款内容。

There was research done on, I think it was like 7,000 pieces of viral content.

我记得是在《纽约时报》上看到的，他们发现内容走红只有五个原因。

And I believe it was in the New York Times and they found that there were only five reasons content went viral.

这是因为你让观众感受到了这五种情绪中的一种。

And it was because you made people feel one of these five things.

那就是冒险。

It was adventure.

当你看到有人跳伞、滑水，或者做任何让人觉得刺激的事，又或者看到他们旅行时，你会感受到一种热血沸腾的冲动，哇，他们正在经历一场旅程。

So when you see someone like skydiving, or you see someone like water skiing or whatever it is, someone's doing something that makes you feel of adventure or they're traveling and like you feel this thrill and this burst of like, wow, they're on a journey.

第二是幽默。

The second was humor.

我们的好朋友亚当·W，最懂怎么做到这一点。

So our good friend, Adam W, who knows how to do this best.

当人们笑得跟视频里一模一样时，你的评论区就会出现‘这让我哭了出来’，或者‘我笑到不行’这样的留言。

Like when people laugh in those same ways your comments are, this made me cry, people who said, this made me crack up.

我把它发给了朋友。

I sent this to my friend.

我们俩笑得打滚，这就是幽默的力量，一段让人捧腹的喜剧视频。

We're rolling on the floor laughing, like making people feel humor, a comedy video.

或者笑到哭出来。

Or laugh so hard I cried.

对。

Yeah.

没错。

Or Yeah.

就是这个。

That.

就是这个。

Or that.

然后你就两种都得到了。

Then you get both.

对。

Yeah.

然后你就两种都得到了。

Then you get both.

或者哭得太厉害反而笑出来了，你估计也是这样。

Or cried so hard I laughed, guess, in your case too.

但说实话，我前几天看了特雷弗·诺亚新脱口秀的一个片段，笑得不行，这又是那种情况。

But like, yeah, I was watching a clip of Trevor Noah the other day from his new special, and it was so funny that, again, is one of them.

所以是幽默。

So humor.

所以是冒险和幽默。

So adventure, humor.

第三点是负面情绪。

The third was negativity.

新闻会让你产生某种情绪。

So the news makes you feel a certain way.

这就是我们不会跳过任何新闻的原因。

That's why we don't skip a news story.

这也是我们愿意转发的原因。

It's why we share it.

这就是我们总要聊它的原因。

It's why we talk about it.

因为在这种情况之下，它让我们产生了某种情绪——负面的情绪。

It's because it makes us feel something in that case, negativity.

第四是启发，这也是你做的，也是我努力去做的：我们的内容能让人感到被激励，至少这是我们的初衷。

Fourth was inspiration, which is yours and what I try and focus on as well is that our content makes people feel inspired or that's at least our intention.

第五是意外。

And the fifth was surprise.

我觉得你在这方面也做得特别好，因为你的故事里总有那么多转折和意想不到的情节。

And I think you do this really as well as well because your stories have so many like turning points and twists and things like that.

也就是说，一种意外感。

So a sense of surprise.

所以我想说的是，我经常对创作者讲，如果你的内容不能让人感受到冒险、幽默、负面情绪（最好没有）、启发，或者意外，那……

So the point is, I always say this to creators, if your content doesn't make you feel adventure, humor, negativity, hopefully not, inspiration, or surprise Yeah.

它就不会被分享，也就不会被看到。

It won't be shared, and therefore it won't be seen.

很多人会想，这能教会别人什么？

And I feel a lot of people are like, what is this gonna teach someone?

或者这能让人记住什么？

Or what is this gonna like what are people gonna remember?

其实不是这样的。

And it's like, no.

根本不是。

No.

完全不是。

No.

人们看你的内容时，有什么感受？

What do people feel when they watch your content?

听你说话的时候，有什么感受？

When they hear you speak?

听到你的声音，看到你的眼神，他们心里到底怎么想？

When they hear your voice, when they look into your eyes, what do they feel?

所以我特别喜欢这一点，触达观众是第四步。

And so I love that reaching your audience is the fourth aspect.

没错，要打动他们的心，真正触及他们的心。

Yeah, reaching their hearts, reaching them Reaching their hearts.

是的。

Yeah.

第五步，是把观看量转化为实际影响。

And number five is turn views into impact.

对吧？

Right?

就算观看量很高，也未必算成功。

You can get a lot of views and still be unsuccessful.

就算观看量很少，照样可以非常成功，因为说到底，我觉得我们来到这个世界，都是为了带来一些积极的影响。

You can get hardly any views and still be very successful because at the end of the day, I think we're all here on this earth to make some sort of a positive impact.

对吧？

Right?

没人愿意一辈子做让自己不自豪的事，或者觉得自己的存在没让任何人变得更好。

Nobody wants to spend their life doing something that they're not proud of or didn't feel like someone was better off because of their existence.

所以，比起一味追求数据，更该追求意义。

So more important than just trying to chase numbers, chase meaning.

追求创造价值，回馈他人。

Chase adding value and giving back.

整个品牌的核心就是让人明白：哪怕你状态最差的一天，更好的日子也在前方；你可能会失败，一切可能都出错，但你依然会有重来的机会。

And that's what the whole brand has been built around is letting people know that even on your worst day, that brighter days are ahead, that you can fail, everything can go wrong, but you still will get a second chance.

每个人都值得拥有第二次机会。

Everyone deserves a second chance.

如果别人从没听过你的说法，那他们对你的印象，就完全是他们自己想象出来的。

If they never asked for your side of the story, then the side that they heard is already everything that they already feel about you.

别浪费时间向那些执意误解你的人解释自己。

So don't waste your time explaining yourself to people who are dedicated to misunderstanding you.

这个五步法简直太出色了。

That five step system is absolutely brilliant.

你提到的三个调整方向真是太棒了。

The three reasons to pivot were fantastic.

我觉得只要有人照着做，就能拿到打造成功事业的完整路线图——不管是做YouTube频道、推出产品、做播客，还是别的任何事情。

I really feel like if anyone follows that, they actually have the exact blueprint you need to build a successful business, whether it's a YouTube channel, whether it's a product, a podcast, or whatever it may be.

我知道你对这份使命有多执着，这一点对我来说特别清楚，因为我了解你一路走来经历的所有起伏，而你始终没有放弃，这对你来说意义重大。

And I know how dedicated you've been to your mission, like it's so clear to me because I know all the ups and downs that come with everything you go through and the fact that you've held onto that and how important that was to you.

这一切很大程度上都源于你自己的经历。

So much of that is based on your own story.

我想稍微回过头来聊聊那段经历。

And I wanna kind of go back there for a second.

我敢肯定，每当有孩子给你发消息、看到你，或者在迪士尼跑过来找你合影的时候——我看过那些视频，你正带着孩子在迪士尼玩，别的孩子冲过来要和你拍照，认出你，被你的视频打动——那一刻，你心里一定百感交集。

I'm sure it almost brings tears to your eyes to like think about how when a kid messages you or sees you or runs up to you at like Disney, which I've seen videos of this happening, when like you're out at Disney with your kids and other people's kids run up to you and they want pictures with you and they recognize you and they are moved by your videos.

我猜你一定会想，天啊，当年我经历那些事的时候，根本没想到会变成今天这样。

I I mean, I'm sure that makes you just go, God I never thought when I was going through all that stuff that this would be happening.

我特别感恩自己走到今天这一步，因为当我三十岁那年，是我人生最低谷的时候。

I'm so grateful for where I am in my journey because when I turned 30 years old, I reached the lowest point in my life.

我当时真的觉得，我的人生已经到头了。

And I truly felt that my life was over.

我身无分文，情绪低落，刚经历了一段糟糕的分手，还饱受焦虑和抑郁的折磨，家里也有一堆烂摊子，眼看就要被房东赶出公寓了。

I was broke, I was depressed, I just got out of a bad breakup, I had anxiety, I had depression, I had family issues, I was days away from getting evicted from my apartment.

说实话，我相信在座的各位可能都经历过这种绝望的感觉。

And honestly, I'm sure like those listening have probably felt this type of feeling before.

那种感觉就像是我曾经梦想的一切都在分崩离析，我的人生注定一事无成。

It just felt like everything I have ever dreamed of was falling apart and my life was not gonna amount to anything.

我在那段低谷期里待了很长时间。

And I stayed in that low place for a long time.

真正帮到我的是阅读那些励志人物的故事。

The one thing that really helped me was reading stories of inspirational people.

后来我发现，每一个我们仰望的成功人士，在取得成就之前都经历过很多次失败。

And it turned out that every person that we look up to that is successful, they've encountered a lot of failures leading up to that success.

所以我读了很多这样的故事，比如迈克尔·乔丹高中时被篮球队裁掉，奥普拉被电台主持人职位解雇，J.K.罗琳在《哈利·波特》出版前被多家出版社拒绝，还有沃尔特·迪士尼在创造出米老鼠之前曾多次破产。

So I read stories about how Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, or how Oprah was fired from her job as a radio host, or how JK Rowling had so many publishers turn her down before Harry Potter came out, or how Walt Disney went bankrupt multiple times before even coming up with Mickey Mouse.

读这些故事让我意识到，失败并不是成功的对立面，它其实是成功的一部分。

And reading those stories made me realize that failure is not the opposite of success, that is actually a part of success.

那些人之所以成功，不是因为他们没经历过失败，而是因为他们坚持下来，一次次挺过挫折，最终才获得了成功。

Those people didn't become successful because they didn't fail, they kept, they became successful because they kept pushing through those failures until they finally got to success.

这让我有了继续前行的动力。

So that motivated me to keep going.

于是我决定开始思考，还有多少人和现在的我一样，正在经历这样的挣扎？

And what I decided to do was that's when I started thinking, how many other people are out there that are struggling like I am?

我有什么独一无二的地方？

What is the one thing that makes me unique?

我的超能力是什么？

What is my superpower?

我只是比别人失败得更多而已。

I just failed a lot more than everybody else.

我犯的错误也比大多数人要多得多。

I made a lot more mistakes than most people out there.

所以我不再躲着它，而是选择直面它。

So instead of hiding from that, I'm gonna embrace that.

我会公开谈论这些，因为很少有人会这么坦率地说出来。

I'm gonna talk about that openly because that's not something that you hear quite often people say.

我搞砸了。

I messed up.

我错了。

I'm wrong.

我失败了。

I failed.

我猜很多听到这话的女性，可能希望自己的丈夫也能多说说这些话，反过来也一样，你知道的。

I'm sure a lot of women hearing this probably wish that their husbands would say this more often or vice versa, you know.

于是我开始这么说，对吧？

So I started saying that, right?

下面就来说说我这辈子都做错过哪些事。

That here's what all the things that I did wrong in my life.

刚开始的时候，我对着镜头说话，心想我的视频肯定会火，毕竟我得到了这么深刻的建议。我还记得我生日那天发了第一个视频，觉得肯定能收获更多关注，算法也会优先推我的内容，因为大家都会上我主页。

And in the beginning, I would just talk to camera thinking that, you know, my videos would go viral because I was given this profound advice, and I remember posting my very first video on my birthday because I thought, oh, I'm gonna get extra love, you know, I'm gonna get prioritizing the algorithm because everyone's gonna be coming to my page.

我发了视频，一遍遍刷新，再刷新，再刷新，结果那视频居然一点播放量都没有。

So I post this video, and I refresh, and I refresh, and I refresh, and that video got no views.

那时候连一百次播放都没破。

It didn't even break 100 views at that time.

我老想着，只要能凑个‘1’，让数字变成三位数就好了。

And I kept thinking like, if I could just get a comma in that number, right?

很长一段时间我都觉得是算法出问题了，肯定哪里不对，因为我的视频明明那么棒。

And for a long time, I thought that the algorithm was broken, that something was wrong because this video was so good.

早期根本没人看我的视频，但你知道吗？

No one was watching my videos early on, but you know what?

因为这是有使命的，因为我真心想帮人度过难关，所以我一直没放弃。

Because this was mission driven, and because I was trying to help people get through hard times, I kept going.

我不断发布新视频，最后慢慢开始调整内容形式。

I kept putting out video after video, and ultimately, I started switching my formats.

那时候我开始讲起故事来。

That's when I started storytelling.

我的播放量从一百涨到了五百左右。

My views went from a 100 to maybe 500.

我开始讲故事之后，播放量最多就到一千，怎么也突破不了这个数。

So then when I started storytelling, you know, ceiling that I got up to was about a thousand views and I couldn't seem to break past that.

不管我怎么努力，一个接一个地发视频，就是冲不破这个瓶颈。

And so as much as I tried, I kept putting out video after video, nothing seemed to break that ceiling.

我有点灰心了。

And I got a little discouraged.

有一天，我对妻子说，我考虑要放弃了。

And so one day, I told my wife, I said, you know, I'm thinking about giving up.

我还是想激励别人，但也许拍视频并不是我该走的路。

Maybe I wanna still inspire people, I wanna, but maybe like creating videos is not my way of doing that.

也许写本书，或者上台演讲，才是更适合我的方式。

Maybe it's writing a book, or maybe it's talking on stage.

感谢劳拉，她直接说不行。

And God bless Laura, she's like, no.

你不能放弃。

You you can't give up.

我看得到你对这件事有多投入。

Like, I see how passionate you are about this.

你必须继续下去。

You have to keep going.

于是我继续发布视频。

So I keep putting out videos.

我每周都坚持，不管怎样，始终如一地更新，一个接一个地发视频，可还是没人看破一千播放量。

I keep, you know, every single week, no matter what, I kept being consistent, kept showing up, kept putting out video after video, and still none of them were breaking a thousand views.

有一天我对劳拉说：听我说，我已经尽了全力，可就是没效果。

So one day I tell Laura, alright, you know what, I have tried my best, It's just not working out for me.

我大概真的不适合做视频。

I'm just not meant to create videos.

所以，我接下来要做的这个视频，将是我的最后一个。

So this next video that I create is gonna be my last one.

她不太想接受这个决定，但你知道的，她还是支持我的选择。

She didn't wanna accept that, but you know, she supported me in my decision.

那时候，我写脚本都是写在餐巾纸上的。

So I used to write my scripts on napkins at that time.

而且所有内容都是故事，旨在传达某种积极的道理。

And everything was a story that taught some sort of a positive lesson.

那时候我姐夫正好来探望我，我爱人的朋友也在。

And at that time my brother-in-law was visiting me, and my wife's friend was over.

那是在我们那间小小的单身公寓里。

This was in our small studio apartment.

于是我在餐巾纸上写下这个故事，决定聊聊出轨的话题，讲讲出轨是怎么从一些看似无害的小举动开始的。

So I'm writing this story on a napkin, and I decide to talk about infidelity, and about how infidelity can start with seemingly small innocent acts.

比如给前任的朋友圈点赞之类的。

Such as liking an ex's Facebook post.

于是我想到这样一个情节：丈夫正给前女友的Facebook动态点赞，而他的妻子却在厨房里为他准备晚餐。

So I came up with this idea about this husband who's liking this ex's Facebook post while his wife is cooking him dinner in the kitchen.

我盯着那张餐巾纸发呆，一抬头，看见姐夫正刷着手机上的Facebook，而我妻子的朋友在厨房里背对着他做饭。

As I'm staring at this napkin, I look up and I see my brother-in-law scrolling Facebook on his phone with my wife's friend cooking something in the kitchen with her back to him.

那一刻，我突然有了灵感。

And I suddenly got this inspiration.

别管这是巧合、是命运、是上帝安排，反正都不是真的。

Don't call it serendipity, it fake, it God, whatever it is.

要知道，那时候我根本没在做任何视觉叙事。

Because at that time, keep in mind, I wasn't doing any visual storytelling.

也没在创作有剧本的内容。

I wasn't creating scripted content.

于是我走过去，对我姐夫和妻子的朋友说：你们要不要来演这个视频？

So I walk over to my brother-in-law, my wife's friend, and I said, hey, will you guys be in this video?

他们问：我们要做什么？

They're like, what do we have to do?

我就说，啥也不用干。

And I was like, nothing.

就站在那儿，做你们正在做的事就行。

Just literally stand there and do what you're doing.

现在回头想想，我其实应该跟我的小舅子说清楚，我是在演他出轨。

I mean, hindsight, I probably should've told my brother-in-law that I'm portraying him as a cheater.

但我当时就想，反正也没人会看这个视频。

But I just was like, no one's gonna watch this anyway.

那时候我只有一个团队成员，我就让他用iPhone拍。

So I had one team member at that time, I asked him to record on an iPhone, right?

我没有对着镜头讲故事，而是边旁白边拍我小舅子和我妻子的朋友自然地做着他们的事。

And instead of me telling a story just talking to camera, I narrate a story while my brother-in-law and my wife's friend are just doing what they're doing.

我说，你知道吗？出轨可能就是从一个看似无害的动作开始的，比如点个赞。

And I'm saying, hey, know, cheating can start a relatively innocent act such as liking.

我一边旁白，一边拍完这段视频，当晚就去睡了，根本没当回事，只是把视频设成早上六点自动发布。

I'm narrating this whole story, I shoot the video, I go to bed that night, don't think anything of it, I schedule that video to go live at 06:00 in the morning.

第二天早上，劳拉把我叫醒了。

The next morning, Laura's waking me up.

她摇着我。

She's shaking me.

她说：‘达，达，快醒醒！’

She's like, Dhar, Dhar wake up.

我迷迷糊糊地问：‘出什么事了？’

I'm like, what's going on?

她说：‘你发的那个视频，火了！’

She's like, that video that you posted, it's going viral.

我还以为她在开玩笑呢。

And I'm like, yeah, right.

我那时候还半睡半醒的。

I'm still half asleep.

我揉着眼睛，想看看到底怎么回事。

I'm like rubbing my eyes, like trying to see it.

结果真就是这样，我本来压根没打算发的最后一个视频，反而火了。

And sure enough, the last video that I ever planned on posting was the one that went viral.

我讲这个故事，是想让大家明白，你离成功可能就差一个机会、一个电话、一扇门、一条内容，就能实现你所有梦想，但你永远不知道，除非你继续走下去。

And I say this story because I want people to know that you could always be one opportunity, one phone call, one door, one piece of content away from massive success, from achieving all of your dreams that you've ever wanted, and you'll never know unless you keep going.

想想看，要是我之前那条视频就放弃了，会怎么样？

Because imagine if I had given up one video before.

那这一切就根本不会发生。

None of this would have ever happened.

回到你刚才说的，现在有人来找我，说‘达，我一直在看你的内容’，这种感觉是怎样的？

So going back to your story about how it feels now when people come to me and they say, Dhar, I watch your content.

对我来说，这种感觉特别珍贵，因为我当初发视频，就是希望帮大家熬过人生中最难的那段日子，让大家知道，失败只是一次经历，不是你这个人。

The reason that it feels so special to me is because I know that I started putting out content for people to be able to overcome their toughest times in life, to be able to know that if you failed, failure is an event.

你完全可以爬起来，继续往前走。

It is not a person that you can pick yourself back up and keep going.

真正让我感动的，是人们告诉我，我的视频怎么帮他们重拾信心，怎么让他们和妈妈、配偶、孩子更亲近，怎么让他们第一次觉得被理解、被看见——这才是最珍贵的礼物。

So it's more so the way that people describe how my videos have affected them, or how they've, my videos have brought them closer to their mom, or their spouse, or their children, or help them believe in themselves, or feel seen in a way that they've never felt before, that's the greatest gift of all.

我完全同意你的看法。

I couldn't agree with you more.

我觉得特别有意思的是，你总是离成功只差一步。

I mean, it's so interesting to me how you

你离成功真的就差一次胜利。

are always one win away.

永远别小看上帝改变你人生的本事，可能就在一瞬间。

Never underestimate God's ability to change your life in an instant.

你其实比自己想象的要近得多。

You're much closer than you ever think.

这事明天就可能发生，但你永远不知道，除非你继续走下去。

And it could happen tomorrow, but you would not know unless you keep going.

如果你回到过去，有人跟你说你将来会走这条路，你肯定根本不会相信。

If you put yourself back there, and someone told you this is gonna be the journey you're on, I guess you wouldn't even believe it.

这事儿根本不可能发生。

It didn't even seem possible.

你知道的。

You know.

我当时真的垮了。

I was just so broken.

我这辈子失败了太多次， honestly 觉得自己的人生已经完了。

I had failed so much in my life that I honestly felt like my life was over.

觉得自己这辈子都不会有出息，所有的梦想也都注定泡汤。

That I was never gonna amount to anything, that none of my dreams were ever gonna work out.

我担心将来别人在我墓碑上会写：这里躺着的是达·曼，史上最大的失败者。

I had worries that on my tombstone, people were gonna say, here is Dhar Mann, the biggest failure that has ever existed.

真的，这些念头就是在我脑子里盘旋的。

Like, literally, that is what went through my my mind.

如果你那时候告诉我，我今天会站在这里，我肯定会说你疯了。

And so if you could tell me back then that I would be where I am today, like, I would just say you're you're crazy.

这根本不可能发生。

Like, there's absolutely no way.

正因如此，我才会对这段旅程充满深深的感激。

And I think that's what gives me so gratitude so much gratitude, like, for this journey.

所以我珍惜每一个步伐、每一次成功，因为我还记得自己曾经身处另一端，那种彻底绝望的感觉。

And that's why every step, every win, I am so appreciative of that because I remember what it's like to be on the other side of this and feeling, like, completely hopeless.

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《Joy 101》是我主持的一档新播客，我会与世界上最有趣的人展开真诚的对话——包括娱乐界的传奇人物、体育界的偶像、健康领域的专家，还有普通人的故事。他们会分享自己如何发现、保持并体验快乐，我也会分享一些关于追求更平衡、更和谐生活的建议。如果你渴望灵感、支持和实用的方法来提升自己的幸福感，那就一定要收听这档真实、温暖又动人的节目。分手后的快乐、空巢老人的快乐、失去后的快乐、作为照顾者的快乐……这档播客都会触及你的心灵。在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客，或你常用的任何播客平台，搜索《Joy 101》即可收听。

Joy one zero one it's a new podcast hosted by me how to copy together guys will have meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people entertainment legends sports icons wellness experts and everyday people will share how they find allow and experience joy and offer some of my own tips and takes on seeking a more balanced and harmonious life if you're craving inspiration support and useful tools to maximize your joy tune into these candid uplifting and moving on air chats joy after a breakup joy is an empty nester joy after a loss joy as a caretaker this new podcast will speak to you listen to joy one zero one on the iheart radio app Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast.

作为一位有志于创业的人，你觉得拥有一位好伴侣有多重要？

Talk to me about the importance of having a good partner when you're an aspiring entrepreneur.

对我来说，选对伴侣，是你一生中最重要的决定。

For me, having the right partner is the biggest decision that you will ever make in your life.

在选择伴侣时，别只挑那个能陪你玩得开心的人。

And when you're choosing the right partner, don't choose someone that you can have fun with.

你应该找一个能和你一起扛困难的人。

You should choose someone that you can struggle with.

因为好时候谁都愿意陪着你。

Because anyone's gonna be there during your good times.

当你状态爆棚、财源滚滚，觉得做什么都顺风顺水的时候，你觉得会怎样？

When you're high on life, when money is flowing, when it seems like everything you touch turns to gold, guess what?

那时候，一堆人会主动凑上来想跟你做朋友。

There's gonna be a whole army of people around that wanna be your friend.

但当你跌到谷底，凌晨三点坐在急诊室里，真会有几个人来握着你的手？

But when you're at your lowest moment, when you're there sitting in the emergency room at 03:00 in the morning, how many people are gonna show up to hold your hand?

没几个。

Very few people.

当你找到这样一个人，那才是真正在你生命里该陪着你的人。

And when you find that person, that is the person that is meant to be in your life.

劳拉就是为我这样的人。

And Laura has been that person for me.

我特别感激她走进我的生活，因为她成长的环境和价值观跟我完全不同，她帮我理清了人生，这点我单靠自己根本做不到。

I'm so thankful that she came into my life because she came from a different different set of values and upbringing than I did, and she helped straighten my life in a way that I never would have been able to.

我小时候觉得，只要能赚钱，有些事在灰色地带做做也无妨。

I grew up where operating in a gray area was okay.

对吧？

Right?

只要能挣到钱，别的都无所谓。

Like if, as long as you made money, it was okay.

手段是不是正当，根本没人在乎。

The means didn't have to justify the ends kind of a thing.

但Laura不一样，她看事情非黑即白。

But Laura came in and she was so black and white about everything.

她对做人做事的原则特别坚定，这真的帮我走上了更好的人生道路。

Her morals, about, you know, the way that one should live, and that really helped to get me on a better path in my life.

我一无所有的时候，她却始终相信我。

She believed in me when I had nothing.

刚开始的时候，她来看我，我都付不起停车库的停车费。

Like, in the beginning, I couldn't even afford the ticket for the parking garage when she came to visit me.

我穷到那个地步。

Like, that's how broke I was.

但她还是在我身上看到了连我自己都看不到的东西。

But she still saw something in me that I couldn't even see in myself.

她一直相信我，不断让我觉得，我那些远大的梦想、那些想法，一点都不荒唐，也还没结束，只要我专心努力，就一定能做到。

And she kept believing me, and she kept making me feel like all these big dreams I had, all these ideas, that they weren't silly, that they weren't over, that I could still achieve them if I just focused and worked hard enough.

我记得早些时候，我们受邀参加过一个网红品牌活动。

You know, I remember early on, there was this influencer brand trip that we got invited to.

那个品牌只肯买经济舱机票，不肯买商务舱。

And the brand that was paying for it would only buy economy tickets, they wouldn't buy business class.

我当时只觉得有张机票就挺知足了，但没意识到，其他所有网红都是自己掏钱升舱的。

I was just grateful to get a plane ticket, but what I didn't realize is that every other influencer paid to upgrade their ticket.

那时候，劳拉就是那个网红。

And at this time, Laura was the influencer.

我当时根本没在做内容。

I wasn't creating content.

那些都是她的朋友。

So these were all her friends.

她的所有朋友都坐在头等舱。

So all of her friends were sitting in first class.

劳拉和我登机的时候，你肯定懂这种感觉——听这段的每个人应该都懂，我们走过头等舱时，她的朋友们都在盯着看，然后我们一路走到经济舱，旁边坐的乘客也时不时瞥我们一眼，好像在评判我们。

And Laura and I came on the plane, and you probably know this feeling, anyone listening to this probably knows the feeling, we walked by first class and all of her friends are watching, and we went all the way to economy and like the friends in the seats, they're kind of like looking at us, somewhat judging.

我特别尴尬，就跟她说：宝贝，真对不起，我没办法给我们升级到头等舱。

I felt so embarrassed and I said babe, like I'm so sorry that I couldn't afford to upgrade us to first class.

她却说：只要你在我身边，这就够了。

And she's like, as long as you're next to me, that's all that matters.

管它坐的是经济舱呢。

I don't care if we're sitting in economy.

就算坐大巴我也无所谓。

I don't care if we're riding the bus.

在那段我觉得自己一无是处、备受羞辱，甚至因为那件事被人嘲笑的时候，能有个人坚定地相信我、陪在我身边，这对我来说意义非凡。

And like, at that point where I felt like I was nothing, and I was just humiliated and was, you know, sort of laughed at because of that, to have someone that believed in me and stood by me despite that, that meant so much to me.

有意思的是，时光飞逝到现在，当初那些坐头等舱的人里，好多人因为理财不当或者花钱没规划，现在反倒只能坐经济舱了。

And, you know, what's interesting is like fast forward to today, a lot of those people, you know, riding in first class are now the ones riding in economy because they didn't manage their money well or they were spending, you know, incorrectly.

我很感激自己通过努力建立了这样的成功，我们理财得当，做出了正确的长远决策，打下了可持续的基础，所以现在我们可以按照自己的意愿选择飞行方式。

And I'm grateful to have built success in a way where, you know, we've managed our finances well and made good long term decisions where we've built something sustainable so we can fly the way that we choose to now.

我是真的很喜欢听你讲你们的感情故事。我知道劳拉特别棒，简直不可思议，她是个非常特别的人。我知道她有多爱你、多关心你，所以听你用那样的方式提起她，真的让人心里暖暖的。

I mean I love hearing about your relationship because I know Laura, she's incredible, like she's unbelievable, she's such a special force of a human and I know how much she loves you and cares about you and so hearing about you speak about her in that way is is super super heartwarming.

爱情教会了你哪些成功永远无法教会你的东西？

What has love taught you that success never could?

我觉得在追求成功的时候

I think in success,

你总是想着那些重大的胜利。

you think about the big wins.

但爱其实藏在细节里。

But love is actually in the details.

我给你举个特别典型的例子。

And I'll give you a great example of this.

有一次，我和劳拉飞去听她最喜爱的歌手演出。

One time Laura and I were flying to go see her favorite artist perform.

劳拉特别兴奋。

Laura was so excited.

她一想到能去看自己最爱的歌手，就激动得不得了，提前好几天就精心打扮，化妆、选衣服，连拍照的构图都规划好了。

She gets unbelievably excited when it comes to like seeing her favorite artist and she spent all this time on her makeup, on her outfit, she had all the pictures planned that she was gonna take.

我们到了现场，她的手机没电了。

We get to the concert and her phone dies.

她忘了给手机充电。

She forgot to charge her phone.

我本来可以因此责怪她，说你怎么不记得充电呢？

Now I could look at that and say, why didn't you think to charge your phone and blame her for that?

但我没这么做，因为我了解我的妻子，我知道这其实是我的疏忽。

But instead, I took it as something I missed because I know my wife.

她平时不太记得给手机充电。

She's not the best at charging her phone.

对她来说，记录下那些开心的时刻，拍出好看的照片特别重要。

And it's also very important to her to take great content for moments that she enjoys.

所以从那以后，不管去哪儿旅行，一到酒店，我第一件事就是给她手机插上充电器。

So going forward after that day, now today, whenever we go anywhere, whenever we travel, as soon as we get to the hotel, I put her phone on the charger.

我会主动留意她可能遇到的麻烦，提前想办法避免她受挫。

I always look for any opportunity that she could run into a problem and think how could I prevent that before she experiences that pain.

另外，因为以前发生过不少意外，我现在出门总随身带着零食。

And by the way, because of things that have gone wrong in the past, that's why now I always have snacks on me.

我随身带着布洛芬。

I always have Advil.

我随身带着安全别针。

I always have safety pins.

我随身带着胸贴、卫生棉条之类的东西，因为以前有几次，劳拉真的需要却没带，我就把这看作是更好地照顾她的机会。

I always have boob tape or tampons or whatever it is because sometime in the past, Laura has really needed something that she didn't have, and I saw it as an opportunity for the way that I could serve her better.

所以，无论是字面上还是比喻上，劳拉的油箱永远都是满的，她根本不用操心。

So literally and figuratively, Laura's gas tank is always full, and she doesn't have to worry about it.

爱让我明白，真正的关键在于留意那些细微的细节，当你为别人付出时，你才会真正赢。

So love taught me that it's in noticing the small details, and you win when you serve others.

把同样的方式用在生意上，也完全适用。

Taking that same application can also apply to business.

当我这么做的时候，我才开始真正取得大的成功。

And when I did that, that's when I started winning big.

比如对待我的团队成员，或者某些品牌合作伙伴时。

When it came to my team members for instance, or it came to certain brand partners.

如果我在房间里偶然听到有人说自己最喜欢的歌手要来城里，我会直接送他们演唱会门票作为惊喜。

If I'm in a room and I happen to overhear someone say that their favorite artist is coming to town, I'm just gonna surprise them with artist tickets.

他们根本不会知道我听到了那句话。

They wouldn't even know that I was listening.

或者如果我无意中听到有人总想学吉他，我就会送他们一把吉他，还帮他们报名上课。

Or if I happen to overhear a conversation of someone saying they always want to learn how to play guitar, I'm gonna surprise them with a guitar and try to sign them up for guitar lessons.