罗伯·戴尔：想在2026年真正实现目标？用这套基于行动的目标系统重回正轨（即使中途跌倒也没关系！）

你的目标远不止于此，我的也是如此。

Your purpose is far greater than that and so is mine.

因此，当我们局限自己的职业，说‘我不喜欢我的工作’时。

And so I think when we limit our profession and go, oh, I don't like my job.

你忽略的是，无论你在何处，都可以影响他人、实现目标、做到精准或关心他人，并练习这些技能，直到有一天你无可替代。

What you're missing out on is, but where could you influence people, meet goals, be precise or care for people in wherever you are and practice that skill set so that one day you're undeniable.

所以我想问你，为什么我们会说服自己放弃那些我们热爱的事情？

And so my question to you is, why do we talk ourselves out of the things that we're passionate about?

比如，为什么当我们有‘我想成为作家和音乐人’这个想法时，你没有说服自己放弃？

Like why do we talk ourselves out of like when you had that idea of I want to be a writer and a musician, you didn't talk yourself out of it.

你追随了它，并将它发挥到极致，直到它自然离去。

You followed it and then took it as far as it could and it left.

我也是，我没有说服自己放弃当僧侣，我冒险去做了，回来后我慢慢摸索出了方向。

Same with me, I didn't talk myself out of being a monk, I took the risk and then when I came back I was figuring it out.

为什么我们大多数人会有这样的想法：耳边响起‘你应该去搞销售’‘你应该当音乐人’‘你应该开个YouTube频道’，然后我们却说：‘不不不，我做不到，我不行。’

Why do most of us have that idea, we hear the voice in our head of you should try sales, you should become a musician, you should launch a YouTube channel and then we go, oh no no no no, I'm not gonna I can't do it.

为什么

Why do

我们会这样呢？

we do that?

我认为，作为人类，我们天生懒惰。

Well, I think what I think as humans we're naturally lazy.

我们只想待在舒适区，这是一种保护机制。

Like it's it's we want to stay in our comfort zone, it's a protection mechanism.

如果你没有做自己想做的事，很可能原因很简单：你内心有一部分在试图保护你免受某种伤害。

If you're not doing something that you want to do, there's a pretty good chance the reason why, at its simplest form, is there's a part of you inside of you that's trying to protect you from something.

所以你可能会害怕，比如，我也想开个播客。

And so you might have a fear of, you know, I wanna I wanna start a podcast too.

你看那些人已经有他们的播客了。

Like, these guys have their podcasts.

我要把自己暴露出来，录下播客，然后我想，嗯。

And I'm gonna put myself out there and I record the podcast, and then I'm like, yeah.

我不知道。

I don't know.

我阻止自己去做那件事。

And I hold myself back from doing that thing.

每当你没有做自己想做的事情时，通常背后都有一种恐惧。

Anytime you're really not doing something that you wanna do, there's usually some sort of fear that's behind it.

而我们对未来所持有的恐惧，通常源于过去所经历的痛苦。

And usually, the fears that we have in our future comes from pain that we have in our past.

如果你能理解，我的大脑正在将自己投射到未来，设想所有可能出错的事情，这是一种保护机制，用来应对我过去未愈合的创伤触发点。

And if you can understand that what my brain is doing is it is projecting itself into the future and thinking of all of the things that could go wrong as a protection mechanism from something that I'm triggered that I haven't healed from my past.

所以，比如以播客为例。

And so like for instance, let's go with the podcast example.

对吧？

Right?

我坐在那里。

I'm sitting there.

我已经录制了三集播客。

I've recorded three podcast episodes.

我想发布，但我没有这么做。

I want to hit publish and I'm not doing it.

当我坐在那里，注意到自己时，我们都会这样。

If I'm sitting there and I'm I notice myself, we all get there.

我完全没有掌握任何部分。

Like, there's no part of me that has mastered at all.

我面对的正是同样的问题。

I deal with the exact same things.

只是在过去二十年自我成长的过程中，我更清楚地意识到自己何时处于这些时刻。

It's just I've kind of, over twenty years of working myself, become more self aware of when I'm in those moments.

于是我想，好吧。

And I'm like, okay.

我正在阻止自己点击发布。

I'm holding myself back from hitting publish.

这里到底发生了什么？

What's going on here?

比如，这背后是什么原因？

Like, what's behind this?

如果我问自己，我想做吗？

And if I'm like, do I wanna do it?

想。

Yes.

那我为什么不做呢？

Why am I not doing it?

我是不是在害怕什么？

Am I afraid of something?

你知道吗？

You know what?

我确实在害怕什么。

I am afraid of something.

我到底在害怕什么？

What exactly am I afraid of?

我害怕的是，如果我把这个公开出来，人们就会评判我。

I'm afraid that if I put this out there, then people are going to judge me.

好吧。

Okay.

这种恐惧存在于我的未来中。

That's the fear that lives in my future.

这让我想起了过去哪些痛苦？

What pain does this remind me of in my past?

通常，我会回想起来，这让我想起了七年级时被欺凌的那次经历。

And usually, be able to go, it reminds me of that one time when I was bullied in seventh grade.

它让我想起了九年级时被欺凌的那次经历。

And it reminds me of the time that I was bullied in ninth grade.

它让我想起，你知道的，我曾得过一个糟糕的成绩，老师叫我蠢货。

It reminds me of time that my, you know, I I got a bad grade and my teacher called me stupid.

而且我觉得，首先，我相信这一切都只是一场游戏。

And it's like, I believe that first off, I believe that all of this is just a game.

对吧？

Right?

所以，我们所做的事情有着如此多的意义和重要性，上次我们在这里也谈过这一点。

And so it's like, I there's so much purpose and importance in what we do, and we talked about this last time I here.

我们所做的事情非常重要，但同时又如此不重要。

It's so important what we do, but it is so unimportant what we do.

从宇宙的宏大尺度来看，以及考虑到这一切已经存在了数十亿年。

In the grand scheme of the universe and, you know, billions of years that this has all been around.

它如此重要，但又如此不重要。

It's it's so important, but it's so unimportant.

所以，你可能会陷入这些戏剧性的情节中，但你也可以抽身而出，远离这些戏剧。

So you can you can get caught up in the drama, but you can also remove yourself from the drama.

你可以看着它，说：好吧。

And you can look at it and say, okay.

我正处于一种境况中。

I'm in a situation.

我想发布出去。

I want to to push publish.

我真的很害怕。

I'm really afraid.

我相信，当这些时刻出现时，所有出现的时刻，我们的生活都是为我们的灵魂精心设计的课程，以便在当下学习它该学的东西。

What I believe is that when those moments pop up, all of those moments that pop up, our life is a perfectly crafted curriculum for our soul to learn what it's supposed to learn in the moment that it's here.

所以，如果我在想，好吧。

And so if I'm going, okay.

这是我想要做的事情。

This is the thing that I wanna do.

但我没有去做。

I'm not doing it.

这是宇宙在这个时刻通过这个困境向我传达的信息：罗布，这就是你需要去面对的问题。

It's the universe coming to me in this moment through this predicament to show me, Rob, this is the thing that you need to work on.

你需要处理过去所经历的这种痛苦。

You need to work on this pain that you have in the past.

你可以选择治愈自己内心的这一面，我认为这是每个人都应该去做的事。

You can either heal that side of you, which I think is is something that people should do.

你应该努力疗愈自己。

You should work on healing themself.

但与此同时，如果我们采取了自己害怕的行动，这也会开始疗愈过去的伤痛。

But at the same time, if we do take that action that we are afraid of, it starts to heal that past as well.

因为我们意识到，我们在告诉自己的大脑：这并不危险。

Because we realize we're telling our brain this is not dangerous.

你不可能一夜之间就改变自己。

And you won't change yourself overnight.

但当我像我一样在Instagram上发布了上万次后，我就不再在乎别人怎么评判我了，因为我已经见过太多这样的情况。

But when you've posted 10,000 times on Instagram like I have, I'm like, I don't care if people judge me anymore because I've just seen so much of it.

这有点像暴露疗法。

You get it's kind of like exposure therapy.

你就只是想，好吧，我又开始发布了。

You're just like, Yeah, I'm publishing again.

是啊，我又在电话推销，结果人家又挂我电话了。

Yeah, I'm cold calling people and they're hanging up on me again.

这其实就是暴露疗法。

It's exposure therapy.

所以我觉得，如果人们能在那些时刻更清醒一点，比如想：好吧。

And so I think if people could become more aware in those moments to be like, okay.

我想做点什么。

I wanna do something.

但我就是没做。

I'm not doing it.

我过去有些东西还没愈合。

There's something in my past that's not healed.

我需要努力疗愈这一点。

I need to work on healing this.

但另一件我可以做的就是直接发布，然后坦然接受它。

But another thing that I could also do is just push publish and just be okay with it.

所以我认为，正是这些细微的时刻，宇宙在向我们展示：这就是你需要去处理的问题。

And so it's those little moments, I think, where the universe is showing us, this is what you need to work on.

请继续前进。

Please move forward.

即使只是朝着正确的方向迈出一小步，来向你的大脑证明，这种防御机制只是在试图保护你。

Just even a tiny step in the right direction to prove to your brain the defense mechanism is trying to protect you.

你是安全的。

You're safe.

你不会死的。

You're not gonna die.

一切都会好起来的。

Everything's gonna be okay.

嘿。

Hey.

我是诺拉·琼斯，我非常热爱与人一起演奏音乐，因此我的播客《一起演奏》回归了。

I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back.

我会与来自各种音乐风格的音乐家坐在一起，在亲密的环境中共同演奏歌曲。

I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting.

每一集都略有不同，但都围绕音乐与我最喜爱的音乐家们的对话展开。

Every episode's a little bit different, but it all involves music and conversation with some of my favorite musicians.

在过去两季中，我邀请了诸如戴夫·格罗尔、莱维、鲁弗斯·温赖特、雷米·沃尔夫、马尔克·雷比尔、梅维斯·斯台普斯等特别嘉宾，实在太多，无法一一列举。

Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Leve, Rufus Wainwright, Remy Wolf, Marc Rebier, Mavis Staples, really too many to name.

在本季中，还有更多精彩内容即将呈现，包括强大的迷幻二人组Black Pumas、我多年的老友兼长期创作伙伴杰西·哈里斯，以及传奇人物露辛达·威廉姆斯。

And there's still so much more to come in this new season, including the powerful psychedelic duo, Black Pumas, my old pal and longtime songwriting friend, Jesse Harris, and the legendary Lucinda Williams.

请在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或您收听播客的任何平台收听诺拉·琼斯的《一起演奏》。

Listen to Nora Jones is playing along on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

二十五年来，我一直在探索疗愈的真谛，不仅为了我自己，也为了与他人共同成长。

For twenty five years, I've explored what it means to heal, not just for myself, but alongside others.

我是迈克·德拉罗查。

I'm Mike Della Rocha.

这是《神圣课程》，一个用于反思、成长与集体疗愈的空间。

This is Sacred Lessons, a space for reflection, growth, and collective healing.

你会对正在痛苦中的男性说些什么呢？

What do you tell men that are hurting right now?

另一边一切都会好起来的，你知道的，just push through it。

Everything's gonna be okay on the other side, you know, just push through it.

有趣的是，'精神'这个词的词根是'呼吸'。

And, you know, ironically, the root of the word spirit is breath.

哇。

Wow.

因此，作为人类，我们能做的最具革命性的事情之一就是

Which is why one of the most revolutionary acts that we can do as people is

只是呼吸。

just breathe.

在伤口旁边，存在着礼物。

Next to the wound is there are gifts.

除非你穿越伤痛，否则你找不到自己的礼物。

You can't find your gifts unless you go through the wound.

这正是困难之处。

That's the hard thing.

你以为，我会得到我的礼物。

You think, well, I'm gonna get my gifts.

我不想经历所有那些你必须面对的伤痛。

I don't wanna go through all You gotta go through the wounds you're left with.

听别人讲述他们的濒死体验，他们都说的是这些。

Listening to other people's near death experiences, and that's all they say.

总之，爱就是答案。

In conclusion, love is the answer.

请在 iHeart 广播应用、Apple 播客或你收听播客的任何平台收听《神圣课程》，它是 My Cultura 播客网络的一部分。

Listen to sacred lessons as part of the My Cultura podcast network available on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

一位有秘密的战地外科医生，一个建立在权力与特权之上的世界，以及今年最出人意料的创意搭档。

A combat surgeon with secrets, a world built on power and privilege, and the most unexpected creative duo of the year.

作为一名演员多年，我总是走进别人的故事里。

As an actor for so many years, I would always walk into other people's stories.

于是我心想，为什么我不自己试试写一个呢？

And I thought, well, why don't I give it a shot, you know, and try to write it myself?

本周，由瑞茜·书单精选的节目在纽约索霍区直播，嘉宾是《早已消失》的幕后 powerhouse 组合——瑞茜·威瑟斯彭和哈兰·科本，这本书如今已是《纽约时报》畅销书。

This week, bookmarked by Reese's Book Club goes live from Soho in New York City with Reese Witherspoon and Harlan Coben, the powerhouse team behind Gone Before Goodbye, now a New York Times bestseller.

我觉得我们俩一开始就明白这事一定会发生。

I think we both knew right away that this was gonna happen.

这是一场关于恐惧、抱负，以及两位叙事大师碰撞时会发生什么的对话。

It's a conversation about fear, ambition, and what happens when two master storytellers collide.

我从未见过女性出现在类似詹姆斯·邦德的世界里。

I'd never seen a woman in kind of a James Bond world.

为惊悚而来，为惊喜而留。

Come for the chills and stay for the surprises.

并了解为什么读者根本放不下这本书。

And find out why readers can't put it down.

在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或您收听播客的任何平台收听 Reese's Book Club 的《Bookmarked》。

Listen to Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

我们对他人看法的担忧，或者像你所说的，源于我们过去内心深处的恐惧——曾有人对我们说过什么，或对我们产生过某种感受，这会再次触发这种情绪，我们赋予它的力量真是惊人。

That worry that we have of what people think of us or like you said, is a fear from deeper within that we had in our past where someone said something or someone felt something about us and it triggers that again, it's incredible how much power we give it.

你刚才提到的关于我们所做之事的评价，非常重要却又如此微不足道，我非常喜欢这一点，因为昨天我在一个活动中，有人问我这个问题，他们说：‘杰，你希望自己的遗产是什么？’

And what you just said about this evaluation of what we do is so important, but so insignificant, I love that because yesterday I was at an event and someone asked me this question and they said, Jay, what do you want your legacy to be?

你希望自己的遗产是什么？

Like what would you like your legacy to be?

我告诉他们，我生命中曾有一段时间，认为反思这个问题很重要。

And I said to them that there was a time in my life where I thought that was an important thing to reflect on.

但随着时间推移，我意识到这是我最不常思考的事情。

And over time I've realized it is the thing I think about the least.

你根本不在乎这个。

You don't care about that.

我一点都不在乎。

I don't care about it at Not at all.

我对他们说，这是因为即使世界上最大的音乐人，如果够幸运，他们在去世后也最多能被铭记五十年到一百年。

And I said to them, I said it's because even the biggest musicians in the world, if they're lucky, they'll be relevant for fifty to a hundred years after they pass away.

只有少数事物能存在上千年。

There are only a few things that have been around for a thousand years.

耶稣、佛陀、克里希那、恐龙，它们 somehow 挺了过来。

Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, dinosaurs, they somehow made it in there.

就这样了。

And it's like, that's it.

没错。

That's right.

就是这样了。

Like that's it.

我们每个人最终都会被彻底遗忘。

And so each one of us is gonna be completely forgotten.

我说，这对我来说是世界上最具解放性的事情。

And I said that is the most liberating thing in the world to me.

我告诉他们的答案是，我感到非常幸运，能够成为这一已有五千年历史的传统在当代的传递者，这个传统在我之前就已存在，并将在千年之后依然延续。

And my answer to them was, I just feel really lucky that I got to be the modern messenger for a 5,000 year old tradition that has been there before me, that will outlast me by thousands and thousands of years.

我非常幸运，能成为今天传递这一主题的邮差，我多么幸运能做这件事。

And I was just so lucky that I got to be today's mailman for this subject matter and how fortunate I am that I got to do that.

但我对此毫无兴趣，因为这就是遗产——我有幸分享的东方智慧将再延续数千年，就像耶稣、佛陀、恐龙和其他一切一样。

But I have no interest because that is the legacy, That Eastern wisdom that I get to share is gonna last for thousands and thousands more years as will Jesus and Buddha and dinosaurs and everything else.

知道这一点真的让人感到解脱，就像我上传一个视频，其实不必那么认真对待。

And it's so freeing to know that to kind of go, yeah, like I don't have to take it that seriously like me uploading a video.

对。

Right.

总有一天，YouTube会不复存在。

It's like one day YouTube will not exist.

它终将消失。

It'll be gone one

没人会在意。

And no one will care.

是的。

Yeah.

给自己这种自由，当你创作时，就会觉得这是最重要的事。

And giving yourself that freedom and then when you're making the thing it's like, this is the most important thing.

是的。

Yeah.

当你分享时，就会想：好吧，就让它进入世界吧。

When you're sharing the thing, you're like, all right, let's just let it out into the world.

是的。

Yeah.

那你怎么应对内心出现的批评呢？比如：我发出去了，却没人观看，没人评论，没人喜欢我的作品，人们觉得……然后你就陷入一种想法：算了，我再也不做了。我有个朋友曾对我说：我要在30天内发布30个视频，我要坚持下去，没错，我会做。

How do you then deal with that criticism that comes in your own mind of, I put it out there, it's not getting views, it's not getting comments, people don't like my art, people don't think And you just get lost now in this like, okay, well I'm not gonna do it again because I had a friend who, he said to me, I'm gonna post 30 videos in thirty days, I'm gonna commit, yeah, I'm gonna do it.

然后他开始发布，却对点赞数不满意，对评论数也不满意。

Then he starts posting and he's not happy with the amount of likes, he's not happy with the amount of comments.

他开始怀疑自己，最终放弃了，再也没有继续做下去。

He starts doubting you and then eventually stops and then doesn't do any more.

所以再也没有纪律可言了，也没有持续性了。

So there's no more discipline left, no more consistency.

我对他说：现实点说，你至少需要每天发布内容，坚持两年，才可能看到一点成效。

And I said to him, I said, realistically, you need to post every day for two years to even get close to seeing what could happen.

是的。

Yeah.

但三十天根本不够。

But thirty days isn't really gonna cut it.

所以如果你做了三十天，然后六个月都不再发布，那就没有意义了。

And so if you've done thirty days and then you're not for six months and then it's not gonna make sense.

但他即使已经开始后，还是说服自己放弃了。

But he talked himself out of it even after getting started.

对。

Right.

我相信你经常看到这种情况。

And I'm sure you see this all the time.

当然。

Of course.

是的。

Yeah.

我的意思是，这类问题背后真正的问题是：你为什么要做这件事？

I mean, I think the the real question behind those types of things is why are you doing it?

就像你所说的，我特别欣赏的一点是，你只是很兴奋能成为现在传递这个信息的人，这意味着你已经把自己从这一切中抽离出来了。

Like so, you know, the thing that I love about what you said is is like you're just excited to be the person that's giving this message right now, which means that you're removing yourself from all of it.

这并不重要。

It does it's it's unimportant.

在我开车来的路上，我一直在对自己说，我刚做了一个祈祷，我说：上帝啊，请把我从这一切中移除吧。

Like, on my drive up here, the only thing I kept saying to myself, I was I just did a prayer and I was like, God, please remove me from all of it.

我不想要它。

I don't want it.

我不想要随之而来的名声。

I don't I don't want the fame of it.

我不在乎这些任何事。

I don't care about any of it.

我只希望听到这个信息的人，能听到他们需要听到的内容。

I just want that whoever hears this message to be a message that they needed to hear.

无论是一个人，还是数百万人。

Whether it's one person, whether it's millions of people.

但我不希望因为传递这个信息而被捧上神坛。

But I don't want to be, you know, on some sort of pedestal for being the person that gives it.

其实，无论是佛陀、克里希那还是耶稣，根本就没有真正原创的思想。

And there's no real I mean, there's no real with with with Buddha, with Krishna, and with with Jesus, there's no real original thought anyways.

我所说的，很可能世界上某个人在某个时候也说过。

I'm probably saying something that someone else has said at some point in time in the world.

对吧？

Right?

所以，当我能够放下对重要性或被关注的执念时，对我来说就容易多了。

And so when I can remove myself from needing to see or be important, then it makes a lot easier for me.

所以，如果有人发帖的目的是为了出名、赚钱或获得点赞，那么我认为你从一开始就动机错了。

So if somebody's point of if we're using posting as the example, is to become famous or to make money or to get likes, then I think you're going at it from the wrong reasons anyways.

真正的问题是：我为什么要做这件事？

The real thing is like, why am I doing this in the first place?

2017年我第一次和你交谈时，我们聊到你应该开个播客。

When I first talked with you in 2017, we were talking about, hey, you should start a podcast.

从那一刻起，我就知道你内心真正想做的，是把你人生彻底改变的那些东方智慧传授给他人，因为你觉得自己有责任这么做。

I could tell from that moment that you wanted to basically take all of this Eastern wisdom that had changed your entire life and just teach it to other people because you felt obligated to do so.

当我坐在杰森的熟食店，看着人们对着孩子大喊大叫，一切仿佛达到了某种临界点，就像电影里世界开始变得诡异时那种高潮时刻。

When I was sitting in Jason's deli and I was was sitting there watching people yell at their kids and all of this stuff, and it was just like this moment of just like you know, if you watch like someone in a movie when, like, the world starts to get all weird, it got to like a fever pitch.

我当时就想：我再也受不了了。

And I was like, I can't do this anymore.

我内心深处有一种力量，帮助我克服了童年创伤——我父亲是酒鬼，在我15岁时去世。

Like, I feel like there's something inside of me that's helped me overcome my trauma from my past of my father being an alcoholic and passed away when I was 15.

而现在，我觉得自己已经处于一个非常好的状态。

And I feel like I'm in a really good place.

从这一切中，我感到有责任去传授它。

From all of that, I feel obligated to teach it.

我从来不是因为想赚钱或想出名才做这件事的。

It was never from the standpoint of I'm doing this because I wanna make money or I'm doing this because I wanna be famous.

因为早在2015年，根本没人能从播客中赚钱或出名。

Because nobody made money or is famous from podcasts in 2015 anyways.

所以我认为，人们真正应该问自己的是：我做这件事的真正原因是什么？

And so I think what people should really ask themselves is like, what is the real reason why I'm doing this in the first place?

如果一个人有强大的内在动力，实现的方法最终自然会显现。

And, you know, if if someone has a really strong why, how to do it will eventually reveal itself.

所以这个人的动机是：想赚一大笔钱。

And so this one's like, wanna make a bunch of money.

不错。

Cool.

很好。

That's great.

你当然可以赚很多钱。

You can definitely make a bunch of money.

但我认为，金钱是你给予世界的价值的副产品。

But I also think that money is a byproduct of the value that you give the world.

所以在我看来，如果我想赚更多，我能不能想办法为人们提供更多的价值呢？

And so in my mind, I'm like, if I wanna make more, can I figure out a way to give more value to people anyways?

因此，我认为更重要的是，你能否去创业、赚大钱、成名，以及做所有这些事情？

And so I think it's more of like, can you go and build a business and make a bunch of money and be famous and all that stuff?

当然可以。

Sure.

但你为什么想这么做呢？

Why do you wanna do it though?

有些演员之所以成为优秀的演员，是因为他们想变得富有和出名，而他们通常会很快耗尽热情。

Like, there's some actors that are that are really good actors because of the fact that they wanna be rich and famous, and they usually burn out.

而有些人想当演员，则是因为他们热爱表演艺术，享受扮演他人、改变自我的过程。

And then there's some people that wanna be actors because they love the craft of being an actor and becoming somebody else and having to change themselves.

这些人永远不会倦怠，因为他们内心有着非常强烈的原因支撑着他们所做的事情。

Those people never burn out because they have some sort of really strong why that's behind what it is that they're doing.

所以我认为我们都相信，我们刚才讨论了很多关于意识、意图、知道自己为什么做某事、在乎它、做自己喜欢的事情，我们都明白这很重要。

So I think we both believe that we've been talking a lot about consciousness, intention, knowing why you're doing something, like caring about it, doing something you love and we both know that's important.

但我认为我们都同意，能力同样重要。

But I think we both agree that competence is equally important.

你没有追求音乐事业的原因是你觉得自己没有足够的能力，让音乐不仅仅是有意义和深思熟虑的爱好，而成为一份职业。

The reason you didn't pursue a music career is because you didn't feel you had the competence to make it a career beyond it being meaningful and thoughtful.

我也是，我热爱足球，那是我最初的热爱，但我只是不够有能力成为职业足球运动员，甚至没能进入任何联赛。

And same with me, I love soccer, it's my first love, but I'm just not competent enough to be a professional soccer player or not have made it into any of the leagues for that matter.

那么，一个人该如何建立一项新技能或能力呢？

And so how does someone build a new skill or competence?

如果一个人说：好吧，我想成为一名播客主持人，我需要学习播客制作。

If someone goes, okay, I wanna be a podcaster and I need to learn podcasting.

我想成为一名音乐人，我需要学习作曲。

I wanna become a musician, I need to learn songwriting.

我想当电影导演，需要学习剪辑。

I wanna be a filmmaker, need to learn editing.

你该如何开始培养一项新技能？

How do you start building a new skill?

培养任何技能的步骤是什么？

What are the steps to building any skill?

我认为，最重要的是保持一致性。

Well, I think it's just I think consistency is the biggest part of it.

首先，你得开始行动。

Like, first off, you have to start.

我记得几年前看过一段视频，是杰瑞德·莱托接受采访时的片段，杰瑞德·莱托是世界上最著名的演员之一，同时也是一位非常著名的音乐人。

Like, most people I remember watching a video years ago of Jared Leto being interviewed, and Jared Leto is one of the most famous actors and also a really famous musician.

他在这两个领域都获得了最高级别的奖项。

He's won the biggest the highest awards that you can win of both of those.

对吧？

Right?

他说了一些让我豁然开朗的话。

And he said something that was really kind of like eye opening for me.

他说，我小时候是在家上学的，当时我观察了人们在做什么。

He said, when I was a child, he was homeschooled and he saw what people were doing.

他说，我小时候就意识到，大多数人根本不会开始。

He said, when I was a child, I just realized that most people don't start.

只要我开始了，最终我就会远远领先于其他人。

And as long as I start, I'll eventually be so much further ahead of anybody else.

所以我觉得这是非常关键的一点。

So I thought that was a really big piece of it.

我想补充的是，只要你不停止，你就很有可能会成功。

The piece that I'll add on is that if you just don't stop, there's a pretty good chance that you're gonna win.

无论那是什么事。

Whatever it might be.

那我能不能拿个足球，就能变成罗纳尔多呢？

Now can can I go and just get a soccer ball and then become, you know, Ronaldo?

不。

No.

这肯定不会发生。

That's not definitely not gonna happen.

我能理解。

I can understand that.

我认为大多数人足够明智，知道：嘿。

I think most people are are wise enough to know, hey.

我大概不会在39岁的时候试图成为职业球员。

This probably isn't the route of me trying to become a professional at 39 years old.

对吧？

Right?

但关键是，我坚信，只要我做了某件事，就不会停下，直到达到我想要去的地方。

But but the thing about it is I'm of the belief that when I do something, I'm not going to stop doing it until I get to wherever I feel like I want to go.

几年前，我和我最好的朋友以及另一位朋友一起创业，他问我：你为什么和罗布一起创业？

I started business years ago with with my best friend and another one of our friends was there and he's like, why are you starting a business with Rob?

他问我们：你们彼此欣赏对方的什么地方？

And he was asking us, like, what is it that you guys like about each other?

他作为我的朋友，很友善地说：罗布就像一只蟑螂。

And he's my friend, in a nice way said, Rob's like a cockroach.

就是那种怎么都死不了的类型。

Like, he just doesn't die.

而我就是这样塑造自己的：我不觉得自己是最有天赋的人。

And that's that's kind of the way I've built myself to be is, like, I don't think I'm the most talented person.

我不认为自己拥有最高的技能水平，但我清楚，一旦找到想做的事，我就会尽可能坚持到底。

I don't think I have the highest skill set, but I do know that when I find something that I wanna do, I will at least try to play it out as long as I possibly can.

我刚开始做播客时，那些节目真的很棒吗？

For me, when I first started my podcast episodes, were they that great?

不。

No.

如果我现在回听十年前的节目，简直让我尴尬得想死。

Like, if I if I listen to my stuff now, it's so cringe to me ten years down the road.

我培养了自信和能力。

I have developed confidence and competence.

他们称之为自信与能力的循环，你知道的，到底是先获得自信，还是先获得能力？

There's a they call it, you know, the confidence competence loop, which is you do I get confidence first or do I get competence first?

你不会单独获得其中任何一个，但只要你开始做某件事，并稍微提升自己的技能，两者就会同时出现。

You don't get either one of them, but you get both of them once you start doing something and you push your skills a little bit more.

但我之所以如此热爱作为人类，是因为我 literally 把这句话纹在了手上——我第一次约会时就告诉了我妻子，她问我：‘你有纹身吗？’

The thing that I love about being a human so much though that I literally got it tattooed on my hand is and I told my wife on our first date, she was like, do have any tattoos?

我当时说：‘没有。’

I was like, no.

但我有一天会纹一个。

But I'm gonna get this one one day.

那是10000的罗马数字，我非常喜欢‘一万小时法则’这个理念，意思是如果你对某件事投入一万小时的专注练习，最终你就能掌握它。

Is the Roman numeral for 10,000, which is I love the idea of the ten thousand hour rule, which is if you take ten thousand hours of dedicated practice towards something, you can eventually master it.

所以对我来说，我只是想努力达到某件事上的一万小时专注工作，这样我大概就能掌握它了。

And so for me, I was like, I just need to try to get to ten thousand hours of dedicated work on something and I will probably master that thing.

所以，如果人们想在这方面变得更好，就必须接受在刚开始做某事时并不擅长的事实。

And so if people are trying to become better at it, you have to be okay with not being good when you first do something.

有一句名言说：如果你不允许自己做一个愚蠢的初学者，就不可能成为一个优雅的高手。

There's a quote that says, you cannot be a graceful master if you will not allow yourself to be a foolish beginner.

嗯。

Uh-huh.

这很好。

That's good.

你必须允许自己做一个愚蠢的初学者，犯错，并坦然接受犯错，同时明白你所做的每一件事都在让你更接近优秀。

And you've gotta allow yourself to be a foolish beginner and screw up and be okay with screwing up, but knowing that everything that you're doing is getting you closer to being better.

对我来说，比如我刚开始做播客时，我就想：我就先做起来再说。

And so for me, like, even with the the podcast when I first started it, I was like, I'm just gonna do it.

如果我喜欢，我就继续做下去。

And if I like it, I'm gonna keep going.

我喜欢上了。

And I liked it.

然后回到你刚才问的问题，关于你并没有得到想要的回应，无论是点赞还是其他方面。

And then there was back to the question you asked a minute ago of, like, you're not getting the response that you want in all of your likes and and and all this stuff.

在2015年，当我只有100次下载量的时候，我收到过一封邮件。

I got one email when I was getting a 100 downloads back in 2015.

两个月后，一位女士发邮件说：我非常喜欢你的播客。

I got an email two months in from a lady that said, your I I love your podcast.

在我父亲三年前自杀后，这是唯一帮助我走出抑郁的东西。

It's the only thing that's gotten me out of depression after my father killed himself three years ago.

我当时就想，这就是我做这件事的原因。

And I was like, that's the reason why I'm doing it.

为了那个我感觉能帮助到的人，而她是我唯一收到邮件的听众。

For that person that I had this feeling that I would be helping, And she's the only one that's emailed me.

可能还有很多人从未给我发过邮件，但我在以某种方式帮助着他们，知道这一点才是推动我的动力。

There's probably people who have never sent me an email that I'm helping them in some sort of way, and knowing that I'm doing that is what's driving me.

所以，比如这个播客，我们总是不断回到这个话题。

And so, you know, with the podcast, for instance, we keep going back to it.

但在2015年，我开始了《心态导师》这个节目，和之前一样，一年后下载量稳定在某个水平。

But in 2015, I started the mindset mentor, and it stated the exact same like, after a year, it kind of leveled off at a certain amount of downloads.

节目表现不错，但并不是全球最受欢迎的之一。

And it was doing well, but it wasn't like one of the biggest ones in the world.

然后，一场完美的风暴发生了。

And then a perfect storm happened.

所以我从2015年开始做。

So I started in 2015.

2020年发生了。

2020 happened.

三件事发生了。

Three things happened.

第一，新冠疫情爆发了。

Number one, COVID happened.

人们待在家里，开始听播客。

People were at home, and they started listening to podcasts.

第二，苹果推出了播客应用，人们收听播客变得容易多了。

Number two, Apple Podcast came out with the app, and so you could it was a lot easier to listen to podcasts.

第三，Spotify 也推出了播客服务。

And number three, Spotify came out with podcasts as well.

这三件事让我在连续五年每月下载量基本不变的情况下，短短三个月内增长了七十倍。

Those three things, I went from the same number of downloads every single month for about five years to 70 x ing it in literally three months.

这就像一个临界点。

And it was like it was like the the tipping point.

就是坚持，坚持，再坚持。

It was just consistency, consistency, consistency.

砰。

Boom.

它爆炸式增长了。

It exploded.

人们需要关注的正是每天坚持出现并付出努力，这就像复利一样。

And that's just what people need to focus on is showing up every single day and putting in the work, and it's just compound interest.

随着时间的推移，你最终会达到一个时刻，宇宙仿佛突然就各就各位了，一切就这样呈现在你面前。

And over time, you eventually get to the point where the universe just clicks in place and it's like, here it is.

我认为这是一种考验，是上帝、宇宙或生活给我们设置的，看看你能坚持多久。

And I see it as a test that God or the universe or life puts us through to say, let's see how long you'll do this.

我会在每一步都挑战你。

And I'm gonna challenge you every single step of the way.

然后，终将有一个时刻，我会说：这一切都是为你准备的。

And then eventually, there is a moment in time where I'm gonna say, this is for you.

你做到了。

You did it.

你达到了你想要的境界，这就是你一直渴望的东西。

You got to the point that you want to, here's the stuff that you wanted.

我把这看作一场挑战，就像在说：来玩这场游戏吧。

And I see it as a challenge, I'm like, let's play the game.

我接受这个挑战，让我们全力以赴。

I'm down for the challenge, let's go for it.

嗯。

Yeah.

而坚持非常有趣，因为我们认为坚持就是每周五天、全年无休地锻炼。

And consistency is so interesting because I think we think about consistency as I worked out five days a week, every week of the year.

但现实中的坚持是，这一周锻炼三天，下一周锻炼六天，这周锻炼四天，然后是五天，接着两天，再然后七天。

And reality consistency is one week I worked out three days, the next week I worked out six, this week I worked out four, then I worked out five, then I did two, and then I did seven.

嗯。

Yeah.

坚持并不意味着每周都一模一样。

Like consistency doesn't mean the same thing every week.

对。

Right.

它可能以不同的方式呈现，而我们容易陷入的误区是，一旦中断就觉得自己失败了。

It can show up differently and I think what we get caught in is when we fall off.

有没有人在这里曾经尝试过节食，但最后失败了？

Like anyone ever here who's tried a diet and they failed at a diet, right?

我们即将迎来新的一年，人们会制定新年决心。

We're gonna go into the new year soon and people are going to be making new year's resolutions.

但关键是，大多数人可能只会坚持两三个星期。

And here's the thing, most people will probably keep it going for two weeks, maybe even three weeks.

然后他们会遇到糟糕的一天或糟糕的一周，接着就彻底放弃了。

And then they'll have a bad day or a bad week and then we'll throw it out.

是的。

Yeah.

所以他们会想：‘我之前做得真好，两周都没吃糖。',

So it's like, oh, I had a great, I didn't eat sugar for two weeks.

我连续两周每周都瘦了两磅。

I was losing two pounds a week for two weeks.

我连续两周都在发布内容。

I was posting content for two weeks.

但第三周我断了，于是我就觉得全完了，干脆全部放弃，因为我搞砸了。

And now the third week I dropped off, now I'm gonna throw it all away because I messed up.

对。

Right.

我之所以失败，是因为我没有坚持。

And I lost it because I wasn't consistent.

对。

Yeah.

我们怎么才能重新开始？

How do we get back on?

或者两个问题。

Or two questions.

每个人都会掉队吗？

Is everyone gonna fall off?

如果真是这样，如果我们都会掉队，那该如何在不自责的情况下重新开始，又不会觉得再也回不去了呢？

And if that's the case, if you all if we're all guaranteed to fall off, how do you get back on without beating yourself up and making it feel like you're never gonna get back on?

这其中有几个不同的方面，我会逐一说明。

There's a couple different aspects of it that I'll go into.

我经常看到人们这样做：他们坚持锻炼21天，严格控制饮食，表现得非常好。

The first thing is that I see this all the time with people is that they will work out for twenty one days and they'll stay on their diet and they'll do really well.

但在第22天，他们没有做好规划。

And then this twenty second day, they don't plan correctly.

他们要坐飞机。

They get on a flight.

结果就错过了计划。

They end up missing it.

然后呢？他们做了什么？

The and then they they do what do they do?

他们责备自己。

They guilt themself themself.

他们羞辱自己。

They shame themselves.

他们对自己说难听的话。

They talk trash to themselves.

我就知道你做不到。

I knew you couldn't do it.

你总是这样。

You always do this.

你总是对事情半途而废。

You always give up on something.

他们抓住那一个瞬间，为此苛责自己，而不是想：嘿。

They take that one moment in time, and they beat themselves up for it versus going, hey.

你犯了个错误。

You had a mistake.

你没完成自己想做的事，但我为你坚持了二十一天感到无比骄傲。

You didn't get this thing done that you wanted to, but I'm so proud of you for the twenty one days.

你以前从未坚持锻炼并遵守饮食这么长时间。

You have never worked out and kept to a diet for twenty one days.

我为你能坚持下来感到非常骄傲。

I'm so proud of you for sticking to it.

与其为第20天的失误责备自己，我会把它看作一个数据点，分析哪里出了问题，导致我无法保持一致性，这样在第23天时，我就能继续坚持下去。

And instead of beating yourself up for day 20 two, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna look at it as a data point and see what did I do wrong that ended up making me not be able to stay consistent so that on day 23, I can continue with the consistency.

就像这样，我最喜欢的一句话是詹姆斯·克利尔说的：你做的每一个行动，都是在为你想成为的那种人投上一票。

It's like and and I love I think the perfect quote for it is James Clear says, every action that you take is a vote for the person she wish to become.

所以，如果你心里想着‘我要放弃了’，那你就是在认定自己是那种会半途而废的人。

So if you're the person's like, oh, I'm gonna throw in the towel, you've decided I'm the type of person that throws in the towel.

但如果你说：嘿。

But if you say, hey.

我会像朋友给我打电话说‘我坚持锻炼了21天’那样，重新振作起来。

I'm going to to to pick myself up as if my friend calls me and says, I worked out really hard for twenty one days.

我做得很好。

I did really good.

今天是我的第22天，但我搞砸了。

And today is my twenty second day, and I screwed up.

我该怎么办？

What should I do?

你会不会对自己说：‘你真差劲。’

Are you gonna be like, you suck.

你真蠢。

You're stupid.

我就知道你不会坚持下去。

I knew you wouldn't follow through.

无论你对自己说什么，都别这样。

Whatever you say to yourself, no.

你会对朋友说些不同于对自己说的话。

You're gonna say something different to your friend than you would to yourself.

所以，这是第一点。

And so that's the first aspect of it.

第二点是，我认为人们想问题太短视了。

The second aspect of it is that I think people think in too short of terms.

我曾经看到过一个统计数据，说要养成一个习惯，需要六十到一百天。

So I saw a statistic one time that said in order to to create a habit, it takes between sixty to a hundred days.

大多数人只关注这个时间段。

Most people are focused on that time frame.

如果你再往远一点看，要改变你的生活方式，大约需要十二到十八个月。

Then there if you go further past that, in order to change your lifestyle, it takes about twelve to eighteen months.

要改变你的身份，则需要三到四年。

In order to change your identity, it takes about three to four years.

所以对我来说，我意识到，当我试图做某件事时，这和我之前跟你讲的一样。

And so for me, I realize that if I'm trying to do something, it's the same way that I was talking to you earlier.

三到四年，我会坚持做这件事。

Three to four years and and I'm gonna I'm gonna do this thing.

我怎么可能每一步都成功呢？

And what am I going to have success every single step of the way?

不可能。

No.

但我愿意为这件事奉献一生，因为一旦做成，它将为我、我的家人或这个世界带来什么。

But I'm dedicating my life to this thing because of what it's going to give me or my family or the world if I do this thing.

所以我认为，如果人们能更着眼于三到四年的 timeframe，他们或许能对自己更宽容一些。

And so I think if people look a little bit more in time frames of, like, three to four years, they might be able to give themselves more grace.

他们也可能被吓到，心想：天哪。

They can also scare the crap out of themselves and be like, oh my god.

我做不到这个。

I can't do this.

这得花太长时间了。

It's gonna take so long.

或者他们可以对自己说：嘿。

Or they could say, hey.

这是一场马拉松。

It's a marathon.

人生是一场马拉松。

Life is a marathon.

如果你在马拉松的第一英里摔倒了，没必要就此放弃接下来的25英里。

If you trip in the first mile of the marathon, you don't need to throw in the next 25 miles after that.

你只需要继续前进。

You just continue to keep going.

所以这也是为什么中彩票的人，我认为大约有百分之七十五到八十的人在五年内又回到了原来的财务状况。

And so and it's one of the reasons why people who end up winning the lottery end up I think it's, like, seventy five, eighty percent of them end up going back to where they were financially within five years.

而普通人，我认为有百分之九十到九十五的人在减掉二十磅后，会在接下来的两年内重新长回来。

And an average person, think it's ninety or ninety five percent of people who lose 20 pounds will gain it back within the next two years.

这是因为他们的习惯可能改变了，生活方式也可能改变了，但他们的自我认同却没有改变。

It's because of the fact that either their habits changed, maybe their lifestyle changed, but their identity didn't change.

我有个朋友，体重上下起伏，反反复复，我们和他进行过一次非常深入的对话。

I have a friend whose weight goes up and down and up and down and up and down, and we've had a really deep conversation with him.

他说：我想让自己达到可能的最佳身体状态。

He's like, I want to be in the best physical shape that I possibly can.

他会变得非常健康，然后又胖回四十磅，如此反复。

And he'll be really fit, and then he'll be forty pounds overweight back and forth and back and forth.

我们最终意识到，原因在于他仍然把自己认同为中学时被嘲笑的那个胖小孩。

And we came to terms of realizing the reason why is because he still identifies as the fat kid that he was made fun of in middle school.

我就说，这正是我们想要实现的身份转变。

And I'm like, that's the identity shift that we're trying to go for is.

身份的转变来自几个方面，一是我们对自己的看法，二是我们所采取的行动。

In it identity shifts come from a couple different things, which is like what we believe about ourself, but also at the same time, like, what actions we take.

所以，如果你在2014年问我：你是做播客的吗？

So, like, if you would have asked me in 2014, are you a podcaster?

我会说：不是。

I'd say no.

但我现在已经做了十年了。

But now I've been doing it for ten years.

我会说：是的。

I'm like, yes.

这已经成为我身份的一部分。

It's literally part of who I am.

对你来说也是一样。

Same thing for you.

而这一切仅仅是因为你采取了足够持续的行动，现在你已经将自己认同为那样的人。

And it's only because you've taken consistent enough action that now you identify with that thing.

而这正是我认为我们都应该以一致性为目标去努力的方向。

And that's what I think all of us should be working towards with consistency.

关于这一点，最后我想说的是，人们常常觉得：‘我就是没有意志力。’

And with consistency and willpower, the last thing I'll say on this is that I think people are like, well, I just don't have any willpower.

我发现那些最持续的人，并不是因为他们比普通人拥有更多的意志力——他们或许有，但关键在于，他们为自己设计了一种生活环境，这种环境根本不会考验他们的意志力。

The people that I found who are the most consistent, it's not that they they have more willpower than the average person, they might, but it is they have designed an environment in their life that does not test their willpower.

如果我把一袋彩虹糖放在家里的桌子上，今天它就会被吃光。

I if you put a bag of Skittles in front of me in my house, it's gone today.

我也是。

Me too.

我也是。

Me too.

没错。

Yeah.

它

It's

没了。

gone.

但如果我家没有软糖，我就不会吃。

But if I don't have Skittles in my house, I don't eat them.

所以我有意识地尝试设计我的环境，避免陷入我不想落入的陷阱，以尽可能高效地工作。

So I I intentionally tried to design my environment to not fall into pitfalls that I don't wanna fall into, to be as productive as I possibly can.

比如，如果我要专心工作两小时，我的手机就会放在厨房里。

Like, if I'm trying to get productive work done for two hours, my phone's gonna be in the kitchen.

所以，我能否设计一个环境，让自律、持续性和意志力更容易维持，而不是让自己如此艰难？

And so it's like, can I design an environment where discipline and consistency and willpower are easier versus making it so hard on myself?

是的。

Yeah.

对我来说，这是最重要的，因为确实，你不能让冰箱里塞满你不吃的东西。

That I that's to me is the biggest one because, yeah, you can't have your refrigerator full of old stuff you don't wanna eat.

不。

No.

指望？嗯，我也没那么多意志力来做那种事。

Expect Yeah, your yeah, I don't have enough willpower for that either.

如果某样东西就在眼前，我肯定会吃。

If something's right here, I'm gonna have it.

这绝对是真的，我觉得人们以为别人有超强的意志力，觉得东西就在旁边但你不会被诱惑，但我才不信呢。

That's absolutely and I think people think that people have this amazing willpower and like, it's right next to you but you're not tempted by, I'm like, no way.

我完全会被糖分高的汽水或者一块巧克力诱惑住。

I'm completely seduced by, you know, a sugary soda or, you know, a slab of chocolate.

如果把20世纪50年代的好莱坞、一个怀揣梦想的古巴音乐人，以及有史以来最经典的情景喜剧之一混合在一起，你会得到什么？

What do you get when you mix 1950s Hollywood, a Cuban musician with a dream and one of the most iconic sitcoms of all time?

你会得到德西·阿纳兹——一位开拓者、商人、丈夫，也许最重要的是，第一位打破黄金时段壁垒的拉美裔人士。

You get Desi Arness, a trailblazer, a businessman, a husband, and maybe most importantly, the first Latino to break prime time wide open.

我是威尔默·瓦尔德拉马，是的，我从小看着他长大，可能就像你和数百万其他人一样。

I'm Wilmer Valderrama, and yes, I grew up watching him, probably just like you and millions of others.

但对我来说，我在他的故事中看到了自己的影子。

But for me, I saw myself in his story.

从摆放金丝雀鸟笼到今晚站在这里的纽约，这条路可真长。

From planting canary cages to this night here in New York, it's a long ways.

在由德西·阿纳兹和威尔默·瓦尔德拉马主演的播客中，我将带您走进德西的一生，那些与我人生重叠的时刻，他是如何重新定义了美国电视，以及这对所有在屏幕外等待看到像我们这样面孔的人意味着什么。

On the podcast starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama, I'll take you in a journey to Desi's life, the moments he has overlapped with mine, how he redefined American television, and what that meant for all of us watching from the sidelines, waiting for a face like ours on screen.

这是一个关于一个人的光芒如何为无数人照亮道路，以及我们今天如何传承他遗产的故事。

This is a story of how one man's spotlight lit the path for so many others and how we carry his legacy today.

收听《德西·阿纳兹与威尔默·瓦尔德拉马主演》。

Listen to starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama.

这是My Cultura播客网络的一部分，可在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或您收听播客的任何平台收听。

That's part of the My Cultura podcast network available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

萨米·亨特。

Sami gente.

我是安娜·奥尔蒂斯。

It's Ana Ortiz.

我是马克和德利卡多。

And I'm Mark and Delicado.

你们可能认识我们是希尔达

You might know us as Hilda

还有贾斯汀。

And Justin.

来自《丑女贝蒂》。

From Ugly Betty.

我们在剧中扮演母子，但现实中我们是最好的朋友。

We played mother and son on the show, but in real life, we're best friends.

我现在已经长大了。

And I'm all grown up now.

欢迎收听我们的新播客，

Welcome to our new podcast,

Viva Betty。

Viva Betty.

耶。

Yay.

哇哦。

Woo hoo.

你能相信已经

Can you believe it has

快二十年了吗？

been almost twenty years?

我

I

这不可能。

That's not even possible.

你是唯一一个看起来变化那么大的人。

You're the only one that looks that much different.

我看起来一点都没变。

I look exactly the same.

我们正在从头到尾重新观看这部剧集，深入探讨所有时尚、戏剧以及你从未听过的幕后故事。

We're rewatching the series from start to finish and getting into all the fashions, the drama, and the behind the scenes moments that you've never heard before.

你将听到美国·费雷拉、凡妮莎·威廉姆斯、迈克尔·尤里、贝基·牛顿、托尼·普兰纳等众多嘉宾的分享。

You're gonna hear from guests like America Ferrera, Vanessa Williams, Michael Urie, Becky Newton, Tony Planner, and so many more.

每个人都是传奇。

Icons each and every one.

突然间，有个人跑过来找我，居然是莎尔玛·海耶克。

All a sudden, like, someone, like, comes running up to me, and it's Selma Hayek.

她对我说：‘你就是我的丑女贝蒂。’

And she's like, you are my ugly Betty.

我当时心想：她在说什么啊？

And I was like, what is she even talking about?

请在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你常用的任何播客平台收听《Viva Betty》，它属于 My Cultura 播客网络。

Listen to Viva Betty as part of the My Cultura podcast network available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

嗨。

Hi.

我是丹尼·夏皮罗，热门播客《家庭秘密》的主持人。

I'm Danny Shapiro, host of the hit podcast family secrets.

我们在车里，突然放起了《滚石》这首歌，他说，歌词里有一句是关于你妈妈的。

We were in car, the like a rolling stone came on, and he said, there's a line in there about your mother.

我问：‘什么？’

And I said, what?

如果我觉得自己不被接纳，我会选择一个别人无法拥有的身份。

What I would do if I didn't feel like I was being accepted is choose an identity that other people can't have.

我知道半夜发生了一些事，但我记不清具体发生了什么。

I knew something had happened to me in the middle of the night, but I couldn't hold on to what had happened.

这些只是我在即将播出的《家庭秘密》第十三季中将要倾听的一些感人而重要的故事。

These are just a few of the moving and important stories I'll be holding space for on my upcoming thirteenth season of Family Secrets.

无论你是从第一季就一直陪伴我，还是刚刚加入《家庭秘密》大家庭，我们都非常高兴有你的加入。

Whether you've been on this journey with me from season one, or are just joining the Family Secrets family, we're so happy to have you with us.

我将深入探索秘密那不可思议的力量——那些塑造我们身份、考验我们关系，并最终揭示我们真实自我的秘密。

I'll dive deep into the incredible power of secrets, the ones that shape our identities, test our relationships, and ultimately reveal who we truly are.

在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你收听播客的任何平台收听《家庭秘密》。

Listen to Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

新年将至，我想分享一下我的想法，也想听听你的看法。

We're coming up to the new year and I wanna give you my answer what I'm thinking and I wanna hear yours.

如果我们能给人一个心态去迎接 2026 年，让它成为他们可能拥有的最棒的一年，我的观点是——少做点，我也想听听你的想法。

If we could give people one mindset to approach 2026 with to make it the best year they could possibly have, my take and I wanna hear yours would be to do less.

意思是，能拯救你的那种心态是：别想着要做最棒的伴侣、最棒的健身者、最棒的职场人、最棒的父母，样样都行，而是选择一件事，在第一季里把它做到极致。

In the sense that the one mindset that will save you is instead of thinking you want to be the best partner and the best workout person and the best professional and the best parent and everything is choose one thing to be really good at for season one.

对。

Yeah.

我会用自然来打比方。

And I think about this like nature.

自然擅长做一件事。

Nature's good at doing one thing.

这正是我们有四季的原因。

It's why we have four seasons.

在这个季节，它擅长生长。

In this season, it's good at growing.

在这个季节，它擅长凋落。

In this season, it's good at shedding.

在这个季节，它擅长闪耀。

In this season, it's good at shining.

在这个季节，它擅长恢复。

And in this season, it's good at recovering.

就像你无法想象有一天里同时下雪、刮风暴、晴朗又下雨。

And it's like, it's not trying to imagine you had a day where it was snowing, stormy, sunny, and raining in the same day.

你会觉得，这简直精神分裂。

You'd be like, this is just schizophrenia.

这太疯狂了。

Like it's crazy.

世界上确实有少数地方会这样，但非常罕见。

And there are a few places in the world where that happens, but it's rare.

这没有意义。

And it wouldn't make sense.

我们通常认为平衡，或者认为自己无所不能。

Like we think of balance or we think of successes, I'm good at everything.

所以我们进入新的一年，心想：今年我一定要减肥。

And so we go into the new year and go, I'm gonna, this is year I lose weight.

今年我要打造我的公司。

This is the year I build my company.

今年我要……正如比尔·盖茨所说，我们高估了自己一年内能完成的事，却低估了十年内能实现的事。

This is the year and we, as Bill Gates said, we overestimate what we can do in one year and we underestimate what we can do in ten years.

今年一月，我就成为创作者满十年了。

I, in January, it will be ten years since I started being a creator.

我的第一个视频是在2016年1月3日发布的。

My first video launched Jan third, twenty sixteen.

如果有人告诉我过去十年我们会做成这些事，我根本不会相信。

And if someone told me what we were gonna do in the last ten years, would never have believed them.

为了

For

当然。

sure.

但如果我在头十二个月里试图做所有这些，我会彻底失败。

But if I tried to do all of this in the first twelve months, I would have failed miserably.

是的。

Yeah.

所以我的建议，也是我给所有人的2026年最重要的心态是：少做点，优先排序，专注，别试图把每件事都完成。

And so my advice, my biggest mindset for 2026 for anyone listening is do less, prioritize, focus, don't try and tick every box.

前四个月在很多事情上失败是没关系的，然后去建立别的东西。

It's okay to fail at a bunch of stuff for four months and then build up something else.

你对2026年的最大心态是什么？

What would be your big mindset for 2026?

完全一样。

The exact same thing.

每年我都告诉人们，专注于一件事持续一百天。

Every year I tell people to focus on one thing for a hundred days.

因为统计数据表明，普通人平均需要66到100天才能养成一个新习惯，所以我只想用一百天专注做一件事，来尝试养成这个习惯。

Because if if statistically, it takes sixty six to a hundred days on average for someone to create a new habit, then I want to just do one thing for a hundred days to try to create that habit.

但问题是，如果你们在听这个播客，你们大多想成为高绩效者。

Now the problem is is that most people, if they're listening to this podcast, they wanna be a high performer.

你们想改变自己的生活。

They wanna change their life.

你们想尽可能过上最好的生活。

They wanna make the best life they possibly can.

所以你们会想，好吧。

So they go, you know what?

我要同时做三件事。

I'm gonna do three things at one time.

我要同时做四件事。

I'm gonna do four things at one time.