第1集：初次约会的故事

好啦，我们正式开始。大家好，欢迎收听《在地板上》播客的第一期节目。我是Esther，每周三我都会邀请不同的嘉宾，和大家聊聊年轻人熟悉或相关的各种话题。我只是想创造一个温馨的空间和时间，让我们感觉或许不那么孤单，尤其是在现在，或者你知道，只是为了感觉更有连接感。

Alrighty. We're doing this. Hello, and welcome to the very first episode of the On the Floor Podcast. My name is Esther, and you can join me every Wednesday as I chat with various guests where we'll be diving into pretty much any topic that's familiar or relevant to a young adult. I just wanted to create an inviting space and a time where we can feel maybe a little less alone especially now or you know just to feel more connected.

所以这应该是一次非常随意的对话，所以你知道，让自己舒服点，拿条毯子，来点咖啡，随便什么，和我们一起坐在地板上，我会向大家介绍我的第一位嘉宾。我和Phreesia以及Michelle一起在地板上。

So this is meant to be a very casual conversation, so you know get yourself comfortable, grab a blanket, some coffee, whatever, sit on the floor with us and I will introduce to you guys my very first guests. I'm on the floor with Phreesia and Michelle.

哇哦。耶。耶。耶。

Woo hoo. Yay. Yay. Yay.

耶。我真的非常非常兴奋能上Esther的播客。

Yay. I'm really, really excited to be on Esther's podcast.

哇。这是我们的第一期节目吗？

Aw. Is this our first episode?

嗯哼。所以事情是这样的。哦，不。现在是Phreesia接管了。我们 literally 两分钟前才喝了一杯。

Mhmm. So here's the thing. Oh, no. This is Phreesia taking over right now. We literally took one shot less than two minutes ago.

Michelle和Esther声称自己醉了。哟。我们有

Michelle and Esther are claiming to be drunk. Yo. We have

低茶。是的。

a low tea. Yeah.

我个人喝得很多，所以我想，也许来一杯能帮到大家，因为每个人都有些紧张。这是埃丝特的第一期节目，你知道，是她全新的播客，我们非常兴奋能参与。

I personally drink a lot, so I was like, maybe a shot will help you guys because like everyone's a little nervous. This is Esther's first episode of her, you know, brand new podcast that we're really excited to be on. So

那确实，那真的很贴心。

that Yeah, that was really sweet.

今天的话题会是什么？

What is today's topic gonna be about?

会很有趣的。今天，我真的很想聊聊第一次约会。

It's gonna be a fun one. Today, I really wanted to talk about first dates.

我觉得我们请对了嘉宾来聊这个话题。对吧？我

I think I we have the right guests for this topic. Right? I

讨厌第一次约会。

hate first dates.

你讨厌第一次约会吗？

You hate first dates?

我觉得我们都讨厌第一次约会。

I think we all hate first dates.

第一次约会时我会超级紧张。即使我不喜欢那个男生，我也会想，天啊，我好像有很严重的社交焦虑，但仅限于第一次约会，其他场合倒不会。这让我觉得我必须主导对话，让我很不舒服，因为我个人喜欢被引导。

I get so so nervous for a first Even if I don't like the guy, I'm just like, oh my gosh, like, I'm so I have a lot of social anxiety for some reason when it comes to first dates, but not really anything else. It makes me feel like I have to start carrying the conversation and it makes me feel uncomfortable because I personally love to be led. So

我觉得可能是因为你说话时太自信了，可能会吓到男生。那么，我们直接聊聊各自的第一次约会经历吧？好的。

I think because you're so confident when you speak that might intimidate the guy. Well, why don't we jump right into our first date experience? Okay. When

你上次第一次约会是什么时候？

was the last first date you went on?

哦，和我男朋友。

Oh, My boyfriend.

确实。你能

True. Can you

跟我们说说你和Ivan是怎么认识的，他当时用了什么招数？

tell us about how you and Ivan met and like what what was his move?

如果有听众是我的观众，这可是独家猛料，因为很多人一直在问我这个问题，但我一直在回避。

If anyone is listening to the podcast who is a viewer of mine, this is some GCT because a lot of people have been asking me this but I have been just like avoiding it.

观众朋友们，我帮你们问到了。是的。

To the viewers, I got you guys. Yeah.

当时我和我女朋友在K Town的一个酒吧，就在舞池区。我们其实没在跳舞，只是有点尴尬地站在那里。然后Ivan和他的朋友向我们走来，但Ivan是向我朋友自我介绍，而Ivan的朋友是向我自我介绍。我不知道是什么时候开始调换位置的，但在去酒吧的路上，或者当我们到了酒吧时，Ivan站在了我旁边，他的朋友站在了我朋友旁边。

So my my girlfriend and I are at this bar in K Town, you know, at the dance floor area. We weren't really dancing. We're just kinda standing there a little awkward. And Ivan and his buddy come over to us, but Ivan comes and introduce himself to my friend, and Ivan's friend introduces himself to me. And I don't know where the switch began, but on the way to the bar or, like, when we got to the bar, Ivan was standing next to me, and his friend was standing next to my friend.

从情况来看，他的朋友和我朋友看起来相处得挺不错的。所以我想做个好女友和好僚机，就有点...我也不知道怎么说。

And by the looks of it, his buddy and my friend, they looked like they were, like, hitting it off pretty well. So I wanted to be a good girlfriend and wing woman, just kinda like I don't know.

是啊。就为团队牺牲一下。没错。

Yeah. Just just Take one for the team. Yeah.

为团队牺牲一下。而且，如果你们了解我，就知道我真的很尴尬，不知道该怎么和陌生人聊天。所以，我记得Ivan是个超级贴心的人。如果你认识Ivan，他的声音非常真诚。

Take one for the team. Also, like, if you guys know me, I'm just so awkward, and I don't how to carry a conversation with strangers. So, like, Ivan, I remember he was, like, a super sweet guy. If you know Ivan, like, he has a very, like, genuine voice.

是啊。他太有亲和力了。他真的很擅长交谈。

Yeah. He's so personable. He's, like, really good at talking.

但我当时太尴尬了。我甚至不敢看他的脸。我一直低着头。但我记得我们有过一次对话。伊凡说，哦，我骑摩托车，我很想改天带你出去兜风。

But I was so awkward. I didn't I couldn't even look at his face. I was just looking down the whole time. But I remember this conversation we had. Ivan was like, oh, I ride a motorcycle, and I would love to take you out for a ride one day.

哦，看看伊凡。她被击中了（指被拒绝）。而我当时就那么快地把话堵死了，甚至没意识到自己做了什么。我就说，我哥哥有摩托车但我不喜欢。我当时真是个宅女。天啊。

Oh, look at Ivan. She was shot. And I just shut it down so quickly without even like Realizing you did And I was just like, my brother has a motorcycle and I don't like it. I was such a homeboy. Oh my god.

我完全能想象你说那句话的样子。然后他就只是说，哦，好吧。接着，伊凡真的很努力地，你知道，问我问题。嗯。问我为什么搬到纽约之类的。

I totally imagine you saying that. And he was just like, oh, okay. And then, like, Ivan was really putting an effort to, you know, ask me questions. Mhmm. You know, ask me, like, why did I move to New York and this and that.

然后喝了几杯之后，你知道，我有点微醺，放松了一些，我们决定去第二轮。嗯。我们去了一个韩式的……英文叫什么来着？

And then after a few shots, like, you know, I got a little tipsy, got a little loose, and we decided to go to the second round. Mhmm. And we went to, like, a Korean What's in English?

就是另一个酒吧。对。

It's just like another bar. Yeah.

就像一个……就是个酒吧。可以坐下的。对。像个可以坐下的酒吧。在那个可以坐下的酒吧里，伊凡变得非常安静。

Like a Just a bar. A sit down. Yeah. Like a sit down bar. And at the bar at the sit down bar, Ivan got like really quiet.

他不再问我问题了。我觉得他只是对我厌烦了。就像，我没有给他很好的回应。看到这个，我就想，哦，不行。他对我没兴趣了。

He stopped asking me questions. I think he was just tired of me. Like, I wasn't really giving him good responses. And seeing that, I was like, oh, hell no. Like, he's not interested in me.

我得，嗯，让他觉得我很好。所以我开始，嗯，问他问题。是的。然后，嗯，那天晚上我们的对话变得特别好。嗯哼。

I gotta, like, make him That be nice. So I started, like, asking him questions. Yeah. And then, like, our conversation was so good that night. Mhmm.

我们聊了所有事情，比如我们的信仰、我们的成长经历。嗯哼。就从那天晚上的那次对话，嗯，我对伊万是个什么样的人有了很好的了解。

We just talked about everything, like our beliefs, our upbringings. Mhmm. And just from that one conversation I had that night, like, I had a good idea of what kind of person Ivan was.

他那天晚上就约你出去了吗？

He asked you out, like, that night?

没有。我们只是交换了电话号码。

No. We just exchanged numbers.

嗯哼。

Uh-huh.

然后第二天，他就约我出去了。

And then the next day, he asked me out.

你的第一次约会？好吧。那么第一次约会是什么样的？哦，对。第一次，好的。

Your first date? Okay. So what was that first date? Oh, yeah. First Alright.

我们见面了。

We got the meeting.

是的。第一次约会是我们去骑了摩托车。我们沿着那条高速公路叫什么来着？FDR？FDR。

Yep. So first date was we did go on a motorcycle ride. We went down what's that one highway? FDR? FDR.

我们沿着FDR高速公路开下去，他有点像在给我介绍，比如，哦，这是Fi Dye。那边是泽西。他就是在给我展示。但我们就是沿着FDR高速公路开下去。嗯。

We dealt what we drove down FDR Highway, and he was kinda showing me, like, oh, this is Fi Dye. This is over there is Jersey. Like, he was just kind of showing me. But we just drove down the FDR Highway. Mhmm.

我记得他骑摩托车来接我时，带了一个对我来说太小的头盔，因为我头太大了。我不想让人觉得我头这么大，所以整个过程我都保持沉默。我在那个头盔里都快窒息了。它压在我头两侧，让我头疼得要命。

And I remember when he picked me up in his bike, he brought a helmet that was too small for my freaking ginormous head. And I didn't wanna, like, make it sound like I have this giant head. So I was just quiet about it the whole time. I was suffocating in that helmet. It was, like, compressed on the side of my head, and it was giving me a massive headache.

我记得中途不得不停下来加油，我当时就想，哦，等一下。我说，我得把这个头盔摘下来，天啊。我觉得整个骑行大概有50分钟左右。我的天。

And I remember I had to stop halfway for filling up gas, and I'm just like, oh, hold on. I was like, I need to get out of this helmet, somebody. Yeah. And I think the ride in total was like fifty minutes or so. Oh my gosh.

哟。但对于第一次约会来说，这还挺棘手的。就像，你得

Yo. But for a first date, that's pretty touchy. It Like, you gotta

等一下。我当时就觉得，哇。这家伙真是

hold on. And I was like, wow. This guy is like

太酷了。

Very cool.

因为每次我们在红灯前停下时，他都会把手放在我的腿上。

Because like whenever we would stop at a red light, he would put his hands like on my like, leg.

哇。哇。

Wow. Wow.

哇。哇。哇。哥们。我记得当我们停好摩托车，我摘下头盔时。

Wow. Wow. Wow. Guy. I remember when we when we parked the bike, I took off the helmet.

我简直喘不过气来，脸通红，满头大汗。你的头发可能也是。我的头发乱成一团。不过，是的，我们一起吃了晚餐。我觉得进展得挺顺利的，但他说我表现得相当尴尬。

I'm just, like, gasping for air, and my face is just, like, all red and just sweaty. And your hair probably too. My hair is just going nuts. But, yeah, we had the we had dinner. He I thought it went real like, I thought it went pretty well, but he said that I was pretty awkward.

然后他开车送我回家，他觉得约会很糟糕，但我邀请他上楼到我住处。嗯哼。顺便说一句，各位，什么都没发生。我们上楼到了我的住处，我还是那么尴尬。我就问，你想看点什么吗？

And then he drove me back to my place, and he thought it went bad, but I invited him back up to my place. Mhmm. By the way, guys, nothing happened. So we went up we went up to my place, and I was still so awkward. I was like, do you wanna watch something?

你觉得尴尬吗？

Did you feel awkward?

我觉得我本身就是一个比较尴尬的人。我甚至都没意识到。他说我都没看他的脸。不过，是的，我们回了我的住处，看了一部纪录片，超级无聊。天哪。

I think I'm just an awkward person in general. I don't even realize it. He said like, I couldn't I didn't look at his face. But, yeah, we went back to my place and we watched a documentary It was so boring. Oh my god.

别告诉我

Don't tell me

你睡着了。我没睡着，但我完全没投入进去。不过，那就是我们的第一次约会。

you fell asleep. I didn't fall asleep, but I was not into it. But yeah, that was our first date.

等等，那最后怎么样了？对你来说，这还算是一次不错的第一次约会吧？对吗？

Wait, so how did it end? It was like it was a good first date though on your end. Right?

我喜欢。我觉得这对我来说尤其难忘，因为这是我第一次真正体验美式约会。对吧。我之前的唯一经历都是在韩国环境下，因为我之前住在韩国。嗯。

I liked it. I think it was I think it was especially memorable for me because this is my first actual, like, American style of dating. Because Right. My only previous experience was in the Korean setting because I lived in Korea previously. Mhmm.

那最后那天结束时，他有没有给你发信息，比如‘我玩得很开心’之类的？还是说

So then did at the end of the day, did he text you, like, oh, I had such a good time or whatever? Or was it

他最后留宿了。你不用这么说。他最后留宿了，但我们完全没有碰触对方。我们之间是有距离的。

He ended up sleeping over. You don't have to say this. He ended up sleeping over, but we did not, like, touch each other at all. Like, there were gap between us.

是啊。是啊。

Yeah. Yeah.

是啊。我真的很喜欢他，因为他没有试图做任何愚蠢的事。你知道吗？嗯。他真的很尊重我，尊重我的空间，而且他非常真诚。

Yeah. I really liked him because he didn't try to do anything silly. You know? Mhmm. He really respected me, respected my space, and he was just very genuine.

我们之间的对话真的很好。是的。

Like, the conversations we had were so good. Yeah.

哇。伊万真是个靠谱的家伙。是啊。为你骄傲，伊万。等等。

Damn. Ivan's a solid dude. Yeah. Proud of you, Ivan. Wait.

你上一次的初次约会是什么时候？就是最近的那一次。

What was your last first date? Like the most recent one.

天啊。我甚至都记不起来了。

Oh my god. I can't even remember.

天啊，名字。别提名字。

Oh god. Names. No names.

其实，哦，当然不是。是的。我上次约会其实是在12月下旬。嗯。就在，你知道，整个新冠疫情开始发展之前。

Actually, oh, of course not. Yeah. The last date I went on was actually in late December. Mhmm. Right before, you know, this whole COVID situation was starting to develop.

嗯。对于那些不了解我背景故事的朋友们，我去年夏天结束了一段长达一年的恋情。所以我花了几个月时间，你知道，疗伤和处理自己的事情。所以直到冬天我才真正开始，你知道，更多地探索。于是我重新下载了Hinge，然后，你知道，其中一个匹配的男生，我认出他来自，嗯，我第一次用Hinge的时候。

Mhmm. For those of you guys that don't know my backstory, I got out a year long relationship last summer. So it took me a couple months to, you know, like, heal and do my thing. So it wasn't until, like, winter time where I actually started, you know, exploring more. So I downloaded Hinge for the first time again, and then, you know, one of the guys I matched with, I recognized him from, like, like, the first time I had Hinge.

但我想，你知道吗？我就给他个机会吧，因为他挺执着的。最后去约会了。我们去了——其实是我建议的餐厅，这已经...你不喜欢...这不是什么红灯或致命问题，但我会在心里记下，因为我觉得我喜欢男生主动计划和安排。就像是'嘿，我带你去这里'。

But I was like, you know what? I'll just give him a shot because he was, like, pretty persistent. Ended up going on a date. We went to I actually suggested restaurant which already You don't like It's not a red flag or a deal breaker but it's something that I note mentally because I'm like I like it when a guy takes initiative and plans. It's like hey I'm gonna take you here.

一样。所以当男生说'哦，我不太清楚。你去哪儿都行，你想去哪儿我都OK'...是的。我的意思是，这对我来说不是红灯，但就像是，好吧，这是第一次扣分。所以我最后选了我在下东区最喜欢的餐厅之一。

Same. So when I when the guy's like oh, like, I don't really know. Like, you can wherever you go, like, wherever you wanna go, I'm fine with Yeah. Mean, it's not a red flag for me, but it's just like, okay, like, this is strike one. So I ended up choosing my one of my favorite restaurants in the Lower East Side.

我们去了，你知道，氛围不错。说实话，我原本期待他更外向一些，但聊起来我发现，哦，他就像个淡定的家伙。嗯。我觉得他有点，稍微拘谨一些，但我能感觉到是我在主导对话。不过对话还行，晚餐也不错，所以我想，好吧，试试第二次吧。

We went, you know, it was good vibes. I was expecting him to be a little bit more outgoing, to be honest, but, going into conversation I was like, oh, like he's just like a chill dude. Mhmm. I feel like he's a little bit, like holding back a little bit, but I could tell that I was trying to carry the conversation. But still, like the conversation was fine, the dinner was fine, so I was like, okay, let's try it for a second time.

嗯。

Mhmm.

第二次约会，我们本来要去电影院看《寄生虫》。我真的很想去电影院看，因为我想着，我不会去他家进行第二次约会，那是他想要促成的事情。但他说，哦，其实《寄生虫》在某个平台上已经有了，可以直接在我电视上买，我们可以舒服地看。我就说，不了，我真的想在电影院看。

Second time, we were supposed to go watch Parasite at the theaters. I really wanted to go watch it at the theaters because I'm like, I'm not going over his place for a second date, which is what he wanted to do and make happen. But I was like, oh, like, but Parasite because he was like, oh, it's actually available on whatever. Could just buy it on my TV and we can watch it comfortably. And I was like, yeah, no, I wanna really watch it in theaters.

他说，好吧。但你可以先来我家，比如下班后，如果你需要打发时间，因为我们的电影在晚上9点，我知道你六点下班等等。所以我就说，好吧，我想。哇。于是我去了他家，我能感觉到他更自在了些，也尊重我的空间。当我们只是放松地看着节目消磨时间，等待电影时，我想，哦，他也没有试图做什么。

He's like, okay, fine. But you can come over first, like, after work if you need to, like, kill a time because our movie's at, like, 9PM and, like, I know you end work at six blah blah blah. So I was like, alright, I guess. Wow. So I went over to his place and I could tell, like, he was, like, a little bit more comfortable and he was respecting And my when we were just like chilling and watching like shows in the meantime, like while we were waiting for our movie, I was like, oh, he's like not trying anything either.

所以这是我心理记下的另一件事。不过他的第二个减分点是，哦不。回到第二个减分点，就是他试图让我留在他家而不是去电影院。这种反悔，是我记下的另一个心理笔记。好吧。

So that's another thing that I mentally note. Another his strike two though was Oh no. Going back to strike two was like trying to get me to stay at his place rather than going to the movie theater. So that backtracking, that was like another mental note I made. Okay.

所以我在心里记着这些事。是的。因此我已经因为那件事而有所戒备了。我们当时在放松，但我能感觉到他尊重我的空间，也更自在了些。所以我就想，好吧，你知道吗，我有点懒，现在不想去电影院了。

So I'm like keeping tally of these things. Yeah. So I already am like guarded because of that. So we were chilling, but then I could tell he was respecting my space and like being a little bit more comfortable and So I was like, alright, you know what, I'm kinda lazy, I don't wanna go to the movie dinner right now. Yeah.

我们就在这里看吧。哦，真的？是的。所以我们最终就留下来了，什么也没发生，我就想，好吧，好吧，也许他现在只有1.5分了。我给他加回了0.5分。

Let's just watch it here. Oh, really? Yeah. So we ended up just staying and nothing happened and I was like, alright, alright, maybe he now only has like 1.5. I gave him back point five.

然后，你知道，之后我就回家了。但现在2.5分减分点来了。他的短信聊天真的很糟糕。什么意思？就是他不继续对话。他会用小写的'lol'结束对话。

And then, you know, I just like went home after But strike 2.5 comes in now. Texting game just, like, sucks. What do mean? Like, he doesn't continue the conversation. He will end the conversation with a lowercase l o l.

哦，那是最糟的。他不会继续对话，但他还是会主动约我下次见面。所以之后我就没那么投入了。但第三次约会我最终还是出去了，那是在新年左右的时间，可能稍微过了新年一点。我最终见到了他所有的朋友，我们去了法拉盛的一个酒吧，喝了几杯，放松了下来，然后我们就做了那件事。

Oh, that's the worst. It won't, like, continue it, but, like, he still would be the one to initiate seeing me next. So I wasn't like so invested after that. But third date I ended up going out to this was like around New Year's time frame, it was like maybe a little bit after New Year's. I ended up meeting all of his friends, we went out to this like bar in Flushing, we had a couple drinks, got loosey goosey, and we did the deed.

但我不知道是否应该分享这件事。

But I don't know if I should share that.

那个确实很劲爆，是的。

That one was juicy as Yeah.

我挺开放的，伙计们。哇。

I'm pretty open guys. Wow.

真没想到会这样。

Did not expect that one coming.

他确实做了，但不说得太具体，他在床上做了一些我认为有问题的行为。所以我就想，什么？我不知道

He did the deed but without getting too graphic, he did some things that I viewed as questionable in bed. So I was like, What? I don't know

我是否还想继续这段关系。

if I want to move forward with this.

我认为这很重要。

And I think that's important.

是的。我是说，性吸引力，确实得有。必须要有才行。但他本来就不是什么强有力的候选人，所以这件事就像把我推下了悬崖。算是3.5次打击吧。

Yeah. I mean, sexual chemistry, Yeah. Gotta have have For to have it. But I wasn't like, he wasn't like a strong candidate to begin with, so this just sort of like pushed me off the edge. It was strike 3.5.

长话短说，我就是慢慢疏远，他最终也明白了。隔离期间他确实联系过我几次，但我觉得他明白了我的意思。

So long story short, like, I just slowly weaned off and he got the hint eventually. He did reach out a couple times during quarantine, but I think he got the hint.

天啊。等等，这是什么时候的事？

Oh man. Wait, when was this?

大概是从十二月到一月。

This was like December through January.

就在2020年之前。

Like right before 2020.

不不不。2019年。实际上我记得是一月到二月，因为他...哦，是在我生日前后，我记得没有邀请他。

No no no. Twenty ninth. Yeah actually it was January through February I remember because he Oh. It was around my birthday and I remember not inviting him.

哦，所以这是最近的事。

Oh so this was like recent.

哇哦，这是我第一次听到这个故事。

Oh wow that was first time hearing that story.

你知道这个故事吧？

You knew this story, no?

不，我从没听过，从没听过这个。这是他的吗？哇哦，是的。等等。哦，好吧，一切都说得通了。

No, I never heard Never heard this. Was this a Oh wow, it's his? Yeah. Wait. Oh, okay, it all clicked.

好吧。哦，哇。而且，这就是那个梗。

Alright. Oh, wow. Also, this is the gag.

那还挺劲爆的。是的。

That was pretty juicy. Yeah.

我的意思是，我应该直接说出来吗？不，算了。

I mean, should I just reveal it? No. Never mind.

老兄，那本来会是终极爆料的。

Dude, that would've been the ultimate.

好吧。你知道吗？我要为听众们说出来。哇。我们在这里笑是因为我刚才向他们示意了我说的这个人是谁。

Okay. You know what? I'm gonna do it for the listeners. Wow. So we're we're out here giggling because I just signaled to them who this guy I'm talking about was.

而他在床上做的那个令人质疑的事情是——哦

And the questionable thing that he did in bed was Oh

天啊。他是

my god. Was He

基本上就是揉自己的乳头，我当时都震惊了。

basically rubbed his own nipples, and I was shook.

我当时都震惊了。他就像，真的很自我陶醉。

I was shook. He's, like, really feeling himself.

就像是，手指直接放在乳晕上，天哪，拜托，我希望他永远永远不要听到这个播客。我觉得他不会的。是的。但我只是觉得有点抱歉，因为你知道吗？就像，各有所好嘛，兄弟。

Like, it was fingers to the areolas, and lord, please, I hope that he never ever listens to this podcast. I don't think he will. Yeah. But I just feel bad because you know what? Like, whatever floats your boat, man.

但是，就像，别在第一次的时候就拿出来或者

But, like Didn't Don't don't bust it out on the first time or

你知道吗？我的天啊。

you know? Oh my god.

但这某种程度上就是为什么事情没有进展下去。

But that's kind of why it didn't move forward.

我的意思是每个人都有自己的癖好

I mean everyone has their own fetishes

所以如果你喜欢那样的话，我完全支持你，你懂吧？对对对。

so like all power to you if you like that, you know? Yeah yeah yeah.

只是这不适合我。没错，完全正确。

It just wasn't for me. Yeah exactly exactly.

我当时有点震惊，所以有点措手不及。

And I was a little shocked so I was kinda caught off guard.

没错。是啊。说实话，我也不知道自己会作何反应。

Right. Yeah. Don't honestly, I don't know how I would've react.

所以我的朋友们都叫他乳头男孩。

So my friends know him as Nipple Boy.

没错。我们立刻就知道了。是的。当你给我们那个动作的时候。

That's right. We knew instantly Yeah. When you gave us that motion.

天啊。这可真是劲爆。哇。好吧。

Oh my god. That some juicy juicy. Wow. Okay.

那确实很劲爆。我们刚开始

That was very juicy. We're starting

这期播客就以一个猛料开场。非常劲爆。

off this podcast with a bae. Very juicy.

是的。哇。我的上一次初次约会简直就是在

Yeah. Wow. My last first date was literally

昨天。哦，快跟我们说说你昨天的初次约会。所以埃斯特在隔离期间其实还挺有魅力的，不像我。

yester. Oh, tell us about your first date yesterday. So Esther actually has had some game during quarantine unlike me.

因为我不是那种，我不知道你怎么想，但我用这个应用不是为了寻找一生的挚爱。

Because like I'm not like, I don't know about you, I'm not on the app to find like the love of my life.

知道吗？不，我是。哦。也许这就是让我沮丧的原因，我总是最终把它删掉。

Know? No. I am. Oh. Maybe that's frustrated and I always end up deleting it.

所以再次说明，对于正在收听但不认识我的朋友们，我在我们朋友圈里是出了名的——下载Hinge应用24小时后就删除，然后再次下载又删除。

So again, for you guys listening in and who don't know me, I am notorious in our friend group for downloading Hinge for twenty four hours and then deleting it and then downloading it again deleting it.

环游世界？哦，要

Traveling the world? Oh, do

我们想聊聊这个话题吗？

we want to talk about that?

旅行怎么样？你去过最棒的地方是哪里？所以最近，

How's traveling? Where's the best spot you've been? So recently,

大概两三周前，我又觉得太无聊了。下载了Hinge应用24小时。但这次我没有局限在纽约。我想，让我探索一下纽约以外的地方吧。说实话，我就是随便玩玩，并没有认真对待。

like two, three weeks ago, I got so bored again. Downloaded Hinge for twenty four hours. But this time, I didn't stay within New York. I was like, let me just explore outside of New York. And mind you, like, I'm just like really fucking around, like I'm not taking it seriously.

所以第一站是洛杉矶，我当时就觉得，哦，这边那边都有几个可爱的人。好吧，下一站韩国。坐上我们的飞机

So first stop was LA and I was like, oh, some cuties over here, over there. Okay, next next stop Korea. Get our jets

我出去了

I out of

知道吗。去了韩国后我发现，对韩国的男生不太来电。他们有点太土气，不合我的口味。所以我就想，好吧，回洛杉矶附近的城市吧。圣地亚哥。

know. Traveled to Korea and I was like, not really feeling the guys in Korea. They're a little too fobby for my taste. So I was like, okay, let's go back to a city near LA. San Diego.

从没去过圣地亚哥，但看看那边的男生怎么样。去了圣地亚哥。刷了刷。不行。不行。

Never been to San Diego, but let's see what the guys are like over there. Go to San Diego. Swipe. Nope. Nope.

不行。然后我看到了这个小可爱。我就想，哦，好吧。他是谁？他居然在个人资料里放了Instagram账号。我就截图保存了，想着以后说不定能做点什么，但最后我还是把应用删了。

Nope. And then I see this one cutie patootie. I'm like, oh, okay. Who And are he actually had his Instagram handle in his profile. So I kinda like just screenshotted it to save it for later in case I wanted to maybe do something with it, but I ended up just deleting the app.

但谢天谢地我截图了，因为我还在想着他。我觉得他真的太可爱了。然后我就跟我闺蜜聊起这事，因为她总是跟我分享她在Hinge上的经历什么的，她就说，哦，你应该直接去Instagram关注他，点赞几张照片，看看会发生什么。又没什么大不了的。他住在圣地亚哥。

But thank God I screenshotted it because I was like, I was still thinking about him. I thought he was just so so so cute. So then I was like talking to my girlfriend about it because like my girlfriend always like you know tells me about her hinge experiences and whatnot and she's like oh like you should honestly just follow him on Instagram like a couple of photos and just see what happens. Like there's no big deal. He lives in San Diego.

就算没得到回应也无所谓。谁在乎啊？所以我就想，你说得对。

It doesn't matter if like Mhmm. It doesn't get reciprocated. Like who the f cares? So I was like, know what? You're so right.

所以我关注了他。这就是我主动出击的方式，就像两年前的一张照片那样。然后我给他几张照片点了赞，等了一分钟，我就对我女朋友妮娜说：妮娜，他没回应。他没回关我。

So I followed him. That's how I shoot my shot, like a photo from two years ago. So then I liked a couple of his photos, I waited, one minute passes, I'm like, Nina, to my girlfriend. I'm like, Nina, he didn't respond. He didn't follow me back.

她说：姐妹，这才过了一分钟。于是我说：好吧好吧好吧，我不去想它了。后来时间过去，他终于回关了我，给我的照片点赞，还给我发了私信。哇。

She's like, bitch, it's been one minute. So I was like, alright, alright, alright. I just won't think about it. So then time passes and he finally follows me back, likes my photos and slides into my DMs. Wow.

我们现在还断断续续地聊天。不算很认真，我觉得我们双方都明白彼此互相吸引，对对方有兴趣，想继续保持对话，但问题是异地。对吧。而且我们都不想要异地恋。所以现在就像陷入了一种无意义的奇怪循环。

And we're still talking sort of here and there. It's not like serious and I don't I think I feel like we're on the same page where we both find each other attractive, we're interested in each other, wanna keep the conversation going, but at the same time, it's long distance. Right. And we're not interested in long distance. So we're kind of right now in this weird cycle of like pointlessness.

但我们还在继续聊天。就想看看会发展到哪一步。到现在已经整整两周了。而且我和这个正在聊天的男生其实从没见过面。就像，从来没有真正交谈过。

But we are still engaging in conversation. So seeing where it goes. It's been two full weeks so far. And like this guy and I that are talking right now literally never met in real life. Like, never had like a real conversation.

你们得推进到FaceTime约会才行。

You guys need to move it forward to FaceTime dates.

我太紧张了，不敢主动提

I'm like too nervous to be like

不敢主动提议？是啊。如果他正在听的话——暗示一下。说实话，我跟你一样。

To initiate it? Yeah. Well, if he's listening. Hint hint. Honestly, I'm like you.

我下载

I download

只是因为我无聊才下载的

it just because I'm bored

然后我就觉得，我不喜欢这个就删了，但再次感到无聊时又会重新下载，就这样反复循环

and then I'm like, I'm not feeling this and then I delete it and then again I'll I'll feel that like boredom and then I'll download it again and then it's just like

但我会很沮丧，因为我丈夫不在上面。所以我会带着破碎的梦想删除它

But I get frustrated because I'm like, my husband isn't on here. So I will like delete it with like with crushed dreams.

你的约会软件使用经历真不容易

Your dating apps are hard.

确实不容易。我至今还对Hinge抱有希望，是因为我在上面匹配到了最近的前任。那是我第一次在Hinge上匹配成功，整个过程非常顺利，这很罕见，我现在才明白

They are hard. I mean the reason why I still till this day have hope in Hinge is because I met my my most recent ex through The first time I like ever matched with someone on Hinge and it just went like so smooth. Right. Which is like rare. I'm learning now.

但我们确实交往了一年

But it was just like we dated for a year.

那我们回到刚才的话题，你经历过的最糟糕的第一次约会是什么？

Then let's go back to okay what's the worst first date you've been on?

天哪。

Oh god.

你刚才提到过一些

You kind of mentioned those

不太好的经历，但我想知道什么样的约会才算糟糕？

strikes but like I guess what kind of constitutes a bad date?

我有太多太多糟糕的约会经历。

I have so many, so many bad dates.

真的吗？是啊。

Really? Yeah.

好吧，具体是什么让它变得那么糟糕？我经历过一些普通的约会，但从来没有真正糟糕的，我觉得。

Okay, like what makes it so bad? I've been on some like whatever dates, but never a really bad one, I don't think.

我觉得我对尴尬的能量和尴尬感特别受不了。没错。而且不知为何，我约会过的十个男生里大概有九个都带着那种尴尬、害羞的能量。这让我在整个约会过程中都感到非常不舒服。是的。

I think I cringe so hard at awkward energy and awkwardness. Right. And for some reason, like nine out of the 10 guys that I've been on a date with have awkward, shy energy. So it makes me just feel so uncomfortable throughout the entire time. Yeah.

回溯一下，我当时大概是22岁，对，应该是22岁。那时我住在布鲁克林，同时还在FIT完成学业。那算是我第一个真正意义上的公寓。

To backtrack, I was probably 22 or Yeah, I think 22 at the time. I was living in Brooklyn while still finishing up school at FIT. That was like my first actual apartment.

好的。然后

Okay. And

我在下东区的一个叫Fat Buddha的酒吧遇到了这个家伙。他就这样走过来，开始在我面前跳舞，不是那种贴身热舞，就是在我面前跳。还挺可爱的。后来他带我到酒吧那边，给我买了杯酒，我们聊了起来，他真的很迷人，对话也很有趣。然后他非常想来我家。

I met this one dude at Fat Buddha, which is a bar in the Lower East Side. He kind of just came up to me and like started dancing, not not grinding up on me, but like dancing in front of me. It was just like kind of cute. And he eventually took it to the bar, like got me a drink, we were talking and he was like really just like charming and like the conversation was fun. And then he really wanted to come over.

嗯。但那时我很天真。他把话说得很好听，说让我用Uber送你回家吧。但我22岁的脑子想的是，哦，免费搭车回家。我让他送我回家了，本以为他送到就会离开，但他却说哦我得用下洗手间。我就想哦原来他打的是这个主意。结果他还是进来了，因为我总不能说不准你用洗手间吧

Mhmm. But at the time I was naive. He's framed he it in a way where he said, let me drop you off in an Uber. But in my 22 year old mind, I was like, oh, free ride home. But I allowed him to take me home, and I expected him to just like leave after dropping me off but he was like oh I gotta go to the bathroom so I was like oh this is what his plan was so he ended up coming in because I can't be like no you can't go to the bathroom right

你当然可以说不。

yes you can.

所以如果他真的急需用洗手间，我没法拒绝说不行。对吧。

So if he actually really had to use a bathroom I can't be like no. Right.

你就不能用这里的灌木丛吗？

Can you just use the bush right here?

但不管怎样，我最后还是让他进来了，然后他明显是想，你知道，留下来过夜之类的，但我感觉很不好，因为那天晚上我确实对他有好感，是真的喜欢他，但我还没准备好做任何事。我就说，老兄，我 literally 不认识你啊。嗯。我不太舒服，诸如此类，巴拉巴拉。所以最后我还是把他送回家了。

But anyways, I ended up letting him in and then like he was definitely trying to, you know, sleep over and stuff but I feel bad because like I was into him genuinely into him that night but I wasn't ready to like do anything. I was like dude like I literally don't know you. Mhmm. I don't feel comfortable, whatever, blah blah. So I ended up actually sending him home.

嗯。所以可怜的家伙，他过来了，那么努力想得手。是啊。但我就说，你得走了。

Mhmm. So poor dude, he came over, was trying so hard to like get it in. Yeah. But I was like you gotta go.

干得好。

Good job.

但第二天早上他发短信，说真的很想带你出去，巴拉巴拉。但这时第一个雷点来了。第一次约会是在性博物馆。什么？因为他显然有优惠券。

But then the next morning he texted, he was like, really wanna take you out, blah blah blah. But here's when strike one comes. First date was at the Museum of Sex. What? Because he had a coupon apparently.

conveniently。 conveniently。所以我就想，哦，我的意思是，好吧。我从没去过性博物馆，而且我觉得这家伙有点可爱，也许吧。就给他个机会吧。

Conveniently. Conveniently. So I was like, oh, I mean, I guess. I've never been to the museum of sex and like, I think this guy is kinda cute, maybe. Let's just give him the benefit of the doubt.

嗯。我到了，不管怎样，立刻评估了一下情况。他 awkward AF（尴尬得要死）。就像，和前一天晚上我见到的那个人完全不同，因为我觉得前一天晚上他喝了酒，所以有点那种酒壮怂人胆。嗯。

Mhmm. I show up, whatever, immediately assess the situation. He's awkward AF. Like, completely different person from the night I met from the night before because I think the night before he had drinks in him so he had a little bit of that liquid courage. Mhmm.

但那天他真的太尴尬了，全程都让人脚趾抠地。我简直想当场消失。

But on this date he was just so cringey and awkward. It was like, I wanted to die the entire time.

感觉你当时就想赶紧溜走。

It's like you wanted to leave.

是啊我想逃跑，但他一直推进约会进程，最后到了性博物馆——你们去过吗？那里有个叫'胸部弹跳池'的东西。真的是个胸部形状的弹跳池，就是个巨型乳房，你可以在里面蹦来蹦去。

Yeah I wanted to escape but he was like he kept like progressing the date further and further and eventually at the Museum of Sex there's also something like called the boob pit if you guys have ever gone. There's literally a boob pit. Like, it's giant boob and you just bounce around.

天啊，我好像在Instagram上见过这个。嗯哼。

Oh my god. I think I've seen that on Instagram before. Uh-huh.

所以你就说'我们去胸部弹跳池吧'？哦天，什么情况？然后你就

So you're like, let's go in the boob pit. Oh my god. What? What's going on? So I was

好吧，我们就去了胸部弹跳池。要知道那里每次只允许两人进入，还有时间限制。我在那个该死的胸部弹跳池里完全不知所措，我到底该

like, okay. So we go to the boob pit. Mind you, they only let in two people at a time and it's like timed. So I like didn't know what to do with myself in the freaking boob pit. Am I supposed to just like

在乳房上蹦蹦跳跳？

Jounce off the boob?

为你跳个胸舞。

Bounce on boob for you.

什么？但我觉得在他脑海里，他想象的是那种 playful 又 fun 的画面。所以他，就，把我推进了一坨屎里。他真的把手放在我肩膀上，把我推进了一坨屎里。我没开玩笑。

What? But I think in his mind, he had this vision of being playful and, like, fun. So he, like, shoved me into a poo. He really put hands on my shoulders and shoved me into a poo. I kid you not.

但我觉得在他心里，这应该是那种有趣、浪漫又 playful 的小瞬间。但现实中，如果你看到当时的情景，那真是尴尬又有点 aggressive。我的天哪。无语了。所以之后我就想

But I think in his mind, it's supposed to be like this fun little romantic playful moment. But in reality, if you if you were to watch it happening it was just so awkward and like aggressive. My god. Supported. So after that I was like

我得走了。我的天哪。

I need to leave. Oh my god.

但我喜欢，什么鬼？

But I like what the fuck?

但他却说，好吧，博物馆之后你想去哪儿？是去 sex 吗？我当时想，我的天哪。我想回家。但就像我之前提到的，我超不擅长拒绝。这时候

But was like, okay, so where do you wanna go next after the museum is sex? I was like, oh my god. I wanna go home. But again, like I mentioned before, I suck at saying no. At this time

嗯哼。

Uh-huh.

我当时特别不擅长拒绝别人，而且很讨厌伤害别人的感情，所以我就想，好吧，那就去...我也不知道，比如高线公园走走？结果连散步都特别尴尬不舒服，而且高线公园不知道为什么关门了，最后我们只好在K Town吃了顿饭。嗯哼。各位，我们可是正儿八经吃了一整顿饭啊。整顿饭期间，他突然提起他要去蒙特利尔旅行，问我想不想一起去。嗯哼。我当时内心OS：绝对不可能。

I sucked at saying no and like I hated like hurting people's feelings so I was like, okay let's go to like, I don't know, like the High Line maybe we could just walk and even the walking was so uncomfortable and awkward but the High Line was like closed for some reason so we ended up just eating in K Town. Uh-huh. We had a whole ass meal guys. A whole meal and he was just like during this meal he brought up a trip that he was gonna take to Montreal, asked if I wanted to go Uh-huh. With I was just like, oh hell to the no.

我就是不知道该怎么脱身。只能敷衍说，可能...可能我去不了吧。你那时候还小吧，Zach？也许吧。但他整个策略的时机都错得离谱，特别尴尬。

And like, I just like didn't know how to escape. And I was just like, maybe, like, maybe I probably won't be able to go but You're a young baby, Zach? Maybe. But he was just like so awkward like everything about like his strategy was like wrong timing.

是啊。

Yeah.

总之特别尴尬。吃完饭后我们分开了——其实还吃了甜品呢！这家伙根本停不下来。我觉得他自以为玩得很开心，但我全程都如坐针毡。最后吃完甜品终于各回各家，就这样结束了。

And just like so awkward so after that, we parted ways. We actually had dessert too. This guy wouldn't stop. I think in his mind he was like having a great time, but I just felt so uncomfortable the entire time. So after that, after dessert, we finally parted ways and that was that.

我后来直接冷处理了他，这样确实不厚道，但年轻时的Phreesia根本不知道如何处理这种局面。所以我就... literally直接不再联系他，彻底断了来往。

I kind of ghosted him, which is fucked up, but young Phreesia didn't know how to deal with these situations. So I just like, I just literally stopped talking to him and cut him off.

大家都有过这种经历。

We've all been there.

没关系啦。我觉得第一次约会后如果双方都没感觉，冷处理反而简单，算是种默契吧。

It's fine. I feel like ghosting is easy though when, like, after the first date, if you guys both aren't feeling it, then it's, like, a mutual understanding.

但他真的很执着。哦。

But he was, like, persistent. Oh.

好吧。你看，如果一个男生

Okay. See, what if a guy

在我消失之后。

After I ghost.

哦，真的吗？是啊。哦，哇。我是说，得给他点个赞吧，我觉得。

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, wow. I mean, props to him, I guess.

算是吧。但是

I guess. But

对吧？比如，第一次约会后，如果你没感觉，但男生有感觉并且联系你，我觉得那时候你就该表态了。比如，哦，你知道吧？是啊。我玩得挺开心，但是吧啦

Right? Like, after the first date, if you weren't feeling it, but the guy did and he hits you up, I think that's when you should address. Like, oh, you know? Yeah. I had a good time, but blah

吧啦吧啦吧啦。吧啦。

blah blah blah. Blah.

但我的意思是，这确实是个很棒的故事。

But I mean, it makes for a great story.

确实如此。

It does.

就像，那是个...他是我的胸部挑选者。

Like, that's a He's my boob pick boob pick guy.

他有所有这些，就像，男人是怎么回事？乳头胸部。对吧？冷冻和胸部。是的。

He has all these, like, what's up with guys? Nipples boobs. Right? Freeze and the boobs. Yeah.

实际上我们还有个袖子。

We actually also had a sleeve.

哦。你还好吧。你喜欢有纹身的男人。

Oh. You okay. You like the guys with the tats.

我想这大概是我的弱点吧。

It's kinda my kryptonite, I guess.

如果有人认识有纹身的人，把他们介绍给我。撩她，姑娘，让她愣住。私信她。认真的。你喜欢那种样子吗？那种坏男孩的样子。

If anyone knows anyone with tattoos, send them my Hit her girl, Freeze up. Slide into the DMs. Seriously. You like that what's that look? The bad boy look.

但他们必须

But they have

内心是柔软的，这家伙确实是，但方式不对。

to be softies on the inside, which this guy was, but it's in the wrong way.

真不敢相信他带你去博物馆了。我在地铁上看过那些广告。哇。这些故事可真够疯狂的。

I can't believe he took you to the museum a sec. I've seen the ads on subways. Wow. Those are some pretty crazy stories.

我知道。我透露的比我原本打算的多多了。

I know. I spilled a lot more than I intended to.

是啊。非常劲爆。而且

Yeah. Very juicy. And

我们也从Michelle那里了解了很多。比如，如果有Michelle Choi的观众的话。

we got a lot from Michelle too. Like, if there are any Michelle Choi viewers.

这些故事，就像，我们彼此之间甚至从未谈论过。

These are stories that, like, we've never even talked about within each other.

是的。有些故事我也是第一次听到

Yeah. It was my first time hearing some of these

这些事情。是的。我没有，我，是的。我从未如此详细地讲述过，我

things. Yeah. I didn't I yeah. I never went in as much detail, I

感觉是的。就像这些特定的故事。我很高兴你有点，你知道。

feel Yeah. Like these particular stories. I'm glad you kind of, you know.

我为了内容把它说出来了。是的。所有的镜头。

I let it out for the content. Yeah. All the shots.

这是一杯龙舌兰酒的镜头。

It's a shot at Tequila.

确实是。好吧。现在我们知道了。嗯，我想这差不多就是我们今天节目的尾声了。所以我想如果人们想看到更多，你知道，你们，比如Phreesia Michelle，他们可以在哪里找到你们？

It is. Alright. Now we know. Well, I guess that kind of wraps up our episode for today. So I guess if people want to see more of, you know, you guys, like Phreesia Michelle, where can they find you?

大家可以在Instagram上找到我，账号是Phreesia Park，f r e e s I a p a r k。如果愿意的话，也可以在YouTube上找到我。

You guys can find me at Phreesia Park on Instagram, f r e e s I a p a r k. And on YouTube if you would like to.

是的。我们有我们的内容创作者了。哦，哇。大家可以在Instagram上找到我，账号是michelle choy，结尾有两个i。

Yes. We got our content creator. Oh, wow. You can find me at michelle choy on Instagram. With two i's at the end.

是的。嗯。大家可以通过简介里的链接访问我的YouTube。没错。

Yes. Mhmm. And you can go to my YouTube via bio link. Right.

是的。好的。

Yeah. Alright.

那很有趣。真的很有趣。

That was fun. That was really fun.

是的。如果你们有任何疯狂的第一约会故事，可以发给我。

Yeah. And if you guys have any crazy first date stories, you can send it my way.

是的。我们很乐意听听。

Yeah. We would love to hear.

是的。我觉得

Yeah. I think it'd

听这些故事会很有趣。我的Instagram是Esther Y S E S T H E R Y S，如果你有任何话题建议，也可以发送给我

be really fun to hear these stories. My Instagram is Esther Y S E S T H E R Y S and you can also, if you have any topic suggestions, you can send that

然后是的，哇，这太有趣了！这一集！

to me and yeah yeah wow that was fun! Episode!

感觉好多了

Feels a lot

比

better than

我我

I I

希望他们也这么觉得。不过，是的，我们正在这个壁橱里出汗。

hope they think so too. But, yeah, so we are sweating in this closet.

好的。保重。

Alright. Peace.

再见。再见。

Bye. Bye.