Chapter 18 - Decisiveness

第十八章，果断。

Chapter 18, decisiveness.

帕特里克·兰西奥尼，《纽约时报》畅销书作家。

Patrick Lencioni, New York Times bestselling author.

我们家庭度假的第一天，出乎意料地顺利。

The first day of our family vacation was going surprisingly well.

孩子们一个都没哭。

Not a single tear had fallen from any of our children's eyes.

眼睛。

Eyes.

也没有人发脾气。

No temper tantrums had been thrown.

我和斯泰西跟开车来佛罗里达跟我们汇合的朋友们玩得很开心。

And Stacy and I were having a great time with the friends who had driven down to Florida to join us.

但到了晚饭时间，气氛就变了。

But when dinnertime arrived, the dynamic shifted.

在海滩上晒太阳的时候，我们问孩子们想去哪儿吃饭，但他们正忙着玩，根本顾不上回答。

While soaking up sunrays on the beach, we polled the children who were too busy playing to be of any help to tell us where they wanted to go eat.

然后女士们问男士们，他们异口同声地说，只要有吃的就行，无所谓去哪儿。

Then the women asked the men who responded with a unified, we don't care so long as they serve food.

最后，女士们互相商量起来，那认真劲儿简直像FBI的人质谈判专家。

Finally, the women turned to each other and began a deliberation worthy of FBI hostage negotiators.

其中一位在酒店前台拿了一份餐饮宣传册，然后她们一起筛选出适合家庭聚餐的餐厅。

One of them picked up a dining brochure at the hotel's front desk, and together they combed out the establishments that were family friendly.

接着她们开始在手机上查每家店的评价，并把它们整理成一张手绘表格，画在宣传册的背面。

Then they began compiling reviews about each of the places on their smartphones, placing them into a hand drawn table on the back of the brochure.

就在我以为她们已经选好餐厅的时候，旁边一位晒太阳的人凑过来说，他昨晚在那家餐厅的经历很糟糕。

Just when I thought they had selected a restaurant, a fellow sunbather leaned in to inform us of his bad experience there the previous evening.

一支笔把那个名字从名单上划掉，讨论又重新开始了。

A pen crossed the name off the list and discussion commenced again.

名单上的候选餐厅不但没减少，反而越来越多，不过我们的朋友最终还是拿起电话，预订了她名单上排在最前面的那家。

The list began to grow rather than shrink, but our friend finally picked up the phone to make a reservation at the name topping her list.

前台接了电话，告诉她在我们孩子睡觉前已经没有空位了。

The hostess answered and informed her that no reservations were available before our children's bedtime.

又一个名字被划掉了。

Another name was scratched from the list.

我们的朋友说：“咱们从头开始，列个优缺点清单吧。”

Let's start from the beginning and make a pro and con list, our friend remarked.

她的话触动了我内心深处的某根弦。

Her words set off something deep inside me.

我想那感觉就像布鲁斯·班纳变身绿巨人前的那种冲动。

I imagine it was the same feeling that overtakes Bruce Banner right before he transforms into the Incredible Hulk.

我的肚子开始咕咕叫，接着胸口开始起伏。

My stomach began rumbling and growling, and then my chest started bouncing.

我还没来得及控制，一声大喊就从嘴里冲了出来。

And before I could stop it, a shout erupted from my mouth.

谁能赶紧做个决定啊？

Will someone please just make a decision?

我的爆发代表了很多人在社交场合中都会遇到的情况。

My outburst represents a scenario that many people have faced in a social setting.

不管你是双人约会时纠结选哪部电影，还是被家族邮件缠住，亲戚们试图安排假期计划，大家都会抛出各种建议。

Whether you are on a double date trying to pick a movie or tied up at a chain email where your extended family attempts to make plans for the holidays, participants throw out suggestions.

选项越来越多。

The list of options grows.

大家来回讨论利弊，决定就像个罐子一样被踢来踢去，迟迟没有结果。

Pros and cons are batted around, and the can of decision keeps getting kicked down the road.

在这种时刻，你和其他人一样感到焦虑。

In such moments, you feel the same anxiety that everyone else does.

你不想选一部大家都讨厌的电影，不想推荐一家没人喜欢的餐厅，也不想自己的提议被大家否决。

You don't want to pick a movie that everyone hates, suggest a restaurant that no one likes, or have your ideas shot down by the group.

所以你也像其他人一样，坐在那里玩这个游戏。

So you sit back and play the game like the others.

现在每个人都在跟着别人走，但没有人真正带头。

Now everyone is following someone, but no one is leading anyone.

这种在日常琐事中产生的紧张感，同样也会出现在重要的场合里。

The tension that unfolds in such mundane moments also arises in significant settings.

那些困扰我们日常生活的恐惧和担忧，也会在千载难逢的时刻让我们束手无策。

The fears and worries that plague us in the everyday also paralyze us in the once in a lifetime.

我儿时的一个朋友布莱恩，他有一位92岁的祖母，老人家开始逐渐被岁月的磨难压垮。

One of my childhood friends, Brian, has a 92 year old grandmother who's beginning to succumb to the trials of old age.

她是一位骄傲且独立的家族女主人，不仅会用互联网，甚至还拥有Facebook账号。

She's a proud and independent matriarch who uses the Internet and even has a Facebook account.

但她的视力和听力都在逐渐衰退。

But her vision and hearing are slipping from her grasp.

过去这一年里，她开车时发生了好几起追尾事故，而且都是她的责任。

During the past year, she was involved in several fender benders while driving, and all of them were her fault.

于是家人们聚在一起商量该怎么介入这件事。

So the family gathered to discuss how they should intervene.

她的子女和孙辈围坐在布赖恩的客厅里，讨论要不要永久收回她的车钥匙。

Her children and grandchildren sat in a circle throughout Brian's living room and discussed taking her car keys from her permanently.

这个决定是对的，家里大多数人都明白这一点。

The decision was the right one, and most of the family knew it.

去年的小事故，明天可能就会变成致命的事故。

Last year's minor accidents could become tomorrow's fatalities.

但没人敢下这个决心，因为他们想尊重她。

Yet no one could pull the trigger because they wanted to respect her.

讨论陷入了复杂、不适和风险的泥潭，最后他们决定一个月后再聚一次。

The conversation got bogged down in the complexities and discomfort and risks of the decision until finally they decided to reconvene a month later.

罐子滚到路上，砰的一声打开了。

Pop goes the can as it tumbles down the road.

这些场景反映了一个很多人都在挣扎的问题——犹豫不决。

Those scenes illustrate a tendency many people struggle with, indecision.

生活中，我们常常选择拖延、否认或反复思考，而真正需要的是果断决定。

Too often in life, we choose delay, denial, or deliberation when what we need is decision.

帕特·兰西奥尼是The Table Group的创始人和总裁，这是一家专注于这类问题的管理咨询公司。

Pat Lencioni is the founder and president of The Table Group, a management consulting firm that focuses on issues like this one.

他写了九本畅销书，包括《团队的五项机能障碍》，销量接近三百万册。

He has written nine best selling books, including the five dysfunctions of a team, with nearly 3,000,000 copies sold.

从西南航空到通用磨坊，再到巴诺书店，许多机构都曾向他请教如何改进组织结构和决策流程。

Organizations from Southwest Airlines to General Mills to Barnes and Noble have sought his advice on how to improve their organizational structures and decision making processes.

最近我采访他时，想问他关于困扰很多人的一个大坏习惯——犹豫不决。

When I interviewed him recently, I wanted to ask him about the big bad habit of indecision that afflicts so many people.

肯·科尔曼。

Ken Coleman.

生活中决策接连不断，而且大小不一。

Life is a never ending onslaught of decisions, and they come in all sizes.

学会何时以及如何做出最佳决策，对发挥我们的全部潜力至关重要。

Learning when and how to make the best decision is invaluable to reaching our full potential.

我们怎样才能养成果断的习惯呢？

How can we create a habit of decisiveness?

帕特·兰西奥尼。

Pat Lencioni.

我觉得养成果断习惯最关键的就是老式的暴露疗法。

I think the most important part of developing a habit of decisiveness is simply good old exposure therapy.

每次我们做决定，哪怕不确定，也会发现大多数情况下结果都不错。

Every time we make a decision, even when we are unsure, we learn that in most cases the decision works out well.

就算结果不好，我们也能从中学习并调整，所以还是有收获的。

When it doesn't, we still benefit because we learn and adjust accordingly.

所以，面对不确定时越果断，学到的就越多，也就越自在。

So the more times we're decisive in the face of uncertainty, the more we learn and the more comfortable we become.

反过来，如果我们犹豫不决、模棱两可或者畏首畏尾，往往会对自己感到沮丧。

Conversely, when we are indecisive, ambiguous, or hesitant, we often get frustrated with ourselves.

一次次果断行动能让我们明白，不管结果如何，我们都能挺过去。

Being decisive again and again helps us to realize that we survive no matter the outcome.

所以就像其他事情一样，比如锻炼，想养成习惯就得先去做，直到变成自然而然的事。

So as with anything else, if we want to get in the habit of something like exercise, for example, we need to go simply do it until it becomes second nature.

然后好处自然就显现出来了。

Then the benefits become apparent.

我觉得我们太看重做了什么决定，而不是怎么去执行这些决定。

I find that we place too much emphasis on what decisions we make rather than how we choose to execute on our decisions.

换句话说，人们太注重决策本身了。

In other words, people put too much emphasis on the decision sciences.

我们总是问自己，我做的决定对吗？

We ask ourselves, did I make the right decision?

但真正该问的是，我执行得怎么样？

When the real question should be, how well did I execute against my decision?

如果我们用十分制来评价决定，一分是坏决定，十分是好决定，一个人做了七分的决定，如果执行得好，结果可能比做了十分决定但执行差的人还要好。

If we evaluate our decisions on a 10 scale, one being a bad decision, 10 being a great decision, A person can make a level seven decision and it still turns out better than someone who makes a level 10 decision if the level seven person is better at execution.

巴顿将军那句名言说得很到位。

General Patton's famous quote says it all.

今天果断执行的好计划，胜过下周才执行的完美计划。

A good plan violently executed today is better than a perfect plan executed next week.

现在这个时代，人们总喜欢事后回头评判每个决定，看它到底对不对。

In our world today, people want to turn around and evaluate every decision they make in hindsight as to whether it was right.

想想NFL选秀。

Think of the NFL draft.

球队往往会问，我们选对球员了吗？

Teams tend to ask, did we pick the right player?

问题应该是，我们有没有用好这个球员？

The question should be, did we use that player well?

不管怎样，重要的是要记住，果断行事会带来好结果。

Regardless, it's important to remember that good things happen when we are decisive.

我们需要认识到，我们执行决策的能力和决策本身一样重要，甚至更重要。

We need to realize that our ability to execute against the decisions we make is just as important or more so than the actual decision.

最后，对我来说，接受一个事实至关重要，那就是我们无法完全控制事情的结果。

And finally, it has been critical for me to come to terms with the fact that we don't have complete control over how things turn out.

对我而言，我依靠对上帝的信仰。

For me, I rely on my faith in God.

当我相信上帝为我安排的计划可能是我无法理解的，这就会减轻那种每个决定都必须完美或者一切都取决于我的感觉。

When I trust that God has a plan for me that I might not understand, it takes away the sense that every decision needs to be perfect or that it is all up to me.

兰西奥尼说，执行一个决定比做出哪个决定更重要。

Lencioni says that executing on a decision is more important than which decision was made.

换句话说，我们花了太多时间纠结怎么跳下船，而真正该做的是想好落水后往哪儿游。

In other words, we spend too much time deciding how to jump out of the boat when we need to focus on where to swim when we hit the water.

你是该直接跳进去，还是来个炮弹式入水？

Should you dive in or opt for a cannonball?

这其实没你想的那么重要。

It matters less than you'd assume.

选错了反而会给你上一堂宝贵的课，下次再跳的时候你就能用上。

Choosing wrong will teach you an invaluable lesson that you'll be able to use next time you make the leap.

如果你为人父母，养育孩子的方式和你决定要孩子这件事一样重要。

If you're a parent, the way you nurture your kids will be as important as the decision to have them.

如果你是广告公司的总监，决定买超级碗广告位，你最该担心的不是这个选择是不是最好的。

If you're a director of an advertising agency who chooses to purchase a Super Bowl ad, your biggest concern is not whether or not that that was the best choice.

而是怎么做出你能做的最棒的超级碗广告。

It's creating the best Super Bowl ad you can.

所以，行动起来吧。

So get going.

一路上犯的错会给你带来宝贵的智慧。

The mistakes you'll make along the way will provide you with valuable wisdom.

我们都想要进步，也知道决定是推动我们前进的引擎。

We all want progress, and we know that our decisions are the engines that move us forward.

但我们要认识到，做出决定本身就是进步，因为我们明白了第一个真理，而不是第二个。

But we need to recognize that making a decision is progress because we realize the first truth and not the second.

我们常常发现自己卡在决策的犹豫中。

We often find ourselves frozen in decision limbo.

相反，我们需要的就是向前走。

Instead, we need to simply move forward.

另一个问题是，我们太执着于做出正确的决定，而有时候最好的选择就是做出一个错误的决定。

The other problem is that we obsess over making the right decision when sometimes the best thing we can do is make a wrong decision.

无论对错，都能让我们成长、扩展视野、学到东西。

Both will grow us and stretch us and teach us.

你会从人生的上坡路、捷径和高速路上学到东西，同样也会从人生的急转弯、绕道和死胡同里学到东西。

You'll learn from life's on ramps, inroads, and freeways as much as from life's u turns, detours, and dead ends.

向我妻子求婚是我做过的最好的决定之一，但她并不是我第一个约会的对象。

Asking my wife to marry me was one of the best decisions I've made, but she wasn't the first woman I dated.

和那些不适合我的女人相处，让我更好地为那个最适合我的人做好了准备。

By spending time with women who were wrong for me, I was better prepared for the one who was best.

同样，我做过的一些工作也失败了。

Similarly, a few of the jobs I've had have failed.

大学毕业后，我在阿拉斯加参加了一场美国参议院竞选，结果以灾难告终。

After leaving college, I worked on a US senate race in Alaska that ended in disaster.

我在一家体育电台实习，结果发现那里没有我的未来。

I interned at a sports radio station only to find out there wasn't a future for me there.

我开发了一些不可持续的电视节目形式，但一直没能卖出去。

I developed television segments in unsustainable formats that I was never able to sell.

如果生活有倒带按钮，我会回去避开那些可能被一些人称为错误决定的事情吗？

If life had a rewind button, would I go back and avoid what some might call wrong decisions?

不会。

No.

正是这些经历把我带到了今天的位置，让我拥有了现在的职业。

They were necessary for getting me to where I now stand, the career I'm currently in.

回过头看，我很感激自己当时果断行动，而不是原地踏步、犹豫不决。

Looking back, I'm grateful that I made those leaps rather than languished and lingered.

我意识到，执行这些决策的方式以及它们带给我的教训，比决策本身更有价值。

I realized that the way I executed those decisions and the lessons they taught me were more valuable than the decisions themselves.

大多数人很早就养成了优柔寡断的习惯。

Most people develop the habit of indecision early on.

我们进入大学时，对人生方向感到迷茫。

We arrive at college, unsure of our life's path.

因为还没选定职业，所以我们不愿选择专业。

We refuse to choose a major because we haven't chosen a career.

作为大一新生，我们被施压去明确理想的工作，但其实此刻最需要的只是迈出向前的一步。

We feel pressured to identify our dream job as freshmen when what we need most is to take a step forward.

学分和学费就这么白白浪费了，直到我们最终做出选择。

Credit hours disappear into thin air with wasted tuition money until we finally make a selection.

大学毕业后，一想到要在一家公司安定下来，就让人紧张得直冒汗。

After college, the prospect of committing ourselves to one company induces sweat and panic.

因为犹豫不决，我们把毕业证书挂到墙上，开始端盘子。

As indecision sets in, we hang our diplomas on the wall and begin waiting tables.

几年后，我们冷静下来，开始朝九晚五地工作。

Years later, we calm down and settle into a nine to five.

在选定的领域工作几年后，我们心里开始隐隐不安，觉得应该换个职业。

After a few years in our chosen field, we develop a nagging restlessness that we should make a career change.

我们自我安慰，说这个想法太疯狂了，而且如果真这么做，朋友们和家人会觉得我们果然是个不靠谱的人。

We reason with ourselves, explaining that the notion is crazy, and we'll just confirm to our friends and family that we are the flakes they suspected we were.

对未知的恐惧和对现在工作的舒适感，让我们迟迟迈不开步子。

The threat of the unknown and the comfort of our current jobs cause our feet to drag.

几周、几个月、几年就这么过去了。

Weeks, months, years go by.

到了晚年，我们终于成功了。

In our twilight years, we finally make it.

我们成了掌权的人，掌控一切的人，但我们的手指却僵住了。

We're the ones in charge, the ones pulling the strings, but our fingers freeze.

我们应该投资新大楼、招聘新员工吗？

Should we invest in a new building and hire new employees?

卖掉公司更好，还是加倍投入？

Would it be better to sell the company or double down?

年轻时优柔寡断的习惯，起初只是表面上的小问题，现在却渗透到了生活的每个阶段。

The habit of indecision that began as a surface scratch in our youth has now bled into every stage of life.

关键就在这里。

Here's the point.

如果我们不在年轻时种下果断的种子，就会一直品尝犹豫不决的苦果，直到最后一口气。

If we don't sow the seeds of decisiveness early in life, we'll reap the bitter fruit of indecision until we draw our final breath.

选好餐厅，和朋友好好吃一顿吧。

Select the restaurant and feast with your friends.

选好电影，让它给你的生活带来开怀大笑。

Choose the movie and let it bring full belly laughter into your life.

下定决心找到你真正的使命，别让艰难的选择让你动弹不得。

Decide to find your true calling, and don't let the tough choices paralyze you.

无论朝哪个方向迈出一步，都是在向前走。

The choice to take a step in any direction will always move you forward.