20 岁时我希望知道的 10 件事

二十岁的时候，感觉像是人生刚刚开始。

Turning 20 can feel like the beginning of everything.

好像时钟一响，你就得马上把一切都做对。

Like the clock has started and you have to get everything right immediately.

但我其实有不一样的看法。

But I actually think about it differently.

我觉得，二十岁在成年世界里，才刚满零岁。

I think at 20, you are zero years old in adult years.

是的，我知道很多地方法定成年是十八岁，但说实话，我们十几岁的时候，本质上还是孩子。

Yes, listen, I know that officially adulthood is at 18 in many places, but in reality, of us are still children in our teens.

所以十八到二十岁这段时间，你其实还在成年新手村。

So between the ages of 18 and 20, you are on adulting level zero.

我希望这样想能让你轻松一点，因为你才刚起步，还有很多时间去摸索和成长。

And I hope this gives you some sort of relief because you're literally just beginning and have so much room to figure things out.

我真希望二十岁那会儿有人能坐下来，告诉我一些事。

There are many things I wish I knew at 20, things I genuinely wish someone had sat me down and told me.

所以你现在二十岁，或者可能更年长，希望上面这些话能对你有触动。别走开，第十条最重要，这是我这辈子为自己做过最有意义的事。

So if you're 20 right now or maybe you're older, I hope something here lands for you and make sure to stick around for number 10 because it's the most important thing I've ever, ever done for myself.

我们来一一说说。

Let's get into it.

第一条：别一味追求完美，多犯点错吧。

Number one, instead of chasing optimization, make more mistakes.

我知道这听起来有点反直觉，毕竟我们所处的社会文化就是这样。

I know that sounds counterintuitive considering the culture of the societies we live in.

你到处看到的都是如何成为最好的自己：一定要几点起床，证明你很认真。

Everywhere you look is about becoming your best self, waking up at a certain time to prove that you're serious.

吃这个，做那个，搞个十步晨间流程，要高效、要勤奋、要完美。

Eat this, do that, have a 10 step morning routine, be optimal, be productive, be perfect.

尤其是如果你来自某种特定的家庭或背景，你身上可能背负着巨大的责任压力。

And especially if you come from a certain kind of home or a certain kind of background, there can be this immense weight of responsibility on you.

总觉得如果现在不把每件事都做对，整个人生就会崩塌。

This feeling that if you don't do everything right right now, your entire future will fall apart.

但我想告诉你的是。

But here's what I want to tell you.

明白吗？

Okay?

如果还没人跟你说过，那就去参加派对吧，去追那个你感兴趣的人，跳过那些不必要的事，吃你想吃的，选错一门课，就选错吧。

If no one has told you, go to the party, please date the person, skip the thing, eat the thing, pick the wrong course, pick the wrong course.

好吧。

Okay.

就选它。

Pick it.

说错话也没关系。

Say the wrong thing.

犯个错吧。

Make the mistake.

有时候，你真得按照‘Fafo’这个哲学来生活。

Sometimes you really have to live according to the great philosophy of Fafo.

先试试看，结果自然就出来了。

Fuck around and find out.

我跟你说，这话里头真有道理。

I swear there is genuine wisdom in that.

有些事，别人是教不会你的。

Some things cannot be taught by other people.

你得亲身去经历。

They have to be lived.

得靠自己动手、犯错、尝试之后发现行不通，再琢磨下一步该怎么走。

They have to be learned through doing, through failing, through trying something and watching it not work, and then trying to figure out what to do next.

如果你太死板，怕偏离所谓的正道，就会错过很多可能性。

If you become too rigid, if you're too afraid to deviate from the right path, you lose out on variety.

你会错过快乐。

You lose out on joy.

你会错过真正的生活，实实在在的生活。

You lose out on actually having a life, having a life.

根本就不存在唯一正确的路。

There is no single right path.

只有你做出的选择，以及你如何对待这个选择。

There is only the choice you make and then what you do with that choice.

所以，去大胆失败吧，就在失败中去体会。

So please go fail in that failing.

那些只属于你的教训，自然会出现。

The lessons that are yours and yours alone will appear.

第二点，减轻心理负担，专注自己。

Number two, reduce the mental load and zero in on yourself.

这一点其实很自然地承接了上一点。

Okay, so this one follows naturally from the first one.

我们之所以这么害怕犯错、不敢冒险，是因为总觉得自己每一个当下的决定，都会彻底定义整个人生。

One of the reasons it's so hard to make mistakes, to take risks is because we are carrying around this crushing fear that every single decision we make right now will define our entire future, our entire life.

觉得二十岁走错一步，四十岁、五十岁都得为此买单。

That if we take the wrong turn at 20, we'll be paying for it at 40 or 50.

网上到处都是制造焦虑的内容，难怪我们都信了。

And with a lot of fear mongering online, I'm not surprised that we all believe it.

但事实是，这根本不对。

But the thing is, it's simply not true.

是的，我们的行为确实会有后果。

Yes, there are consequences for our actions.

你做的每一件事都会有后果，这是物理规律，明白吗？

Every action you take has consequences, physics, okay?

每一个动作，都会引发相应的反应。

For every action, there is a reaction.

然而，活在恐惧中的人生，最后往往只剩遗憾。

However, a life lived in fear usually ends in regret.

你得相信，你今天做的每一个决定，都只是你人生中的一个章节，而不是全部。

You have to trust that the decisions you are making today are just a chapter of your life, not the whole story.

想想你小时候，每件事都觉得天大似的。

Think about when you were a kid, everything felt ginormous.

每一次拒绝，每一次同意，每一次责备，都像是世界末日到了。

Every no, every yes, every scolding felt like the world was coming to an end.

但你现在以成人的视角回头看，就能理解那个孩子了。

But looking at it now from your grown perspective, you understand that child.

是的，你理解小时候的自己，但你也明白，从现在的角度看，那些事其实没那么严重。

Yes, you understand your child self, but you know that in relation to you, it's not that big a deal.

明白吗？

Okay?

等你到了三十岁、四十岁、五十岁，回看二十多岁时的自己，也会是这种感觉。

That's how your 30 year old, 40 year old, 50 year old self will look at the things that you do in your twenties.

所以，你要诚实地问问自己，脑子里那个声音到底是谁的？因为我们以为自己想要的很多东西，其实根本不是真想要。

So get really honest about whose voice is in your head because a lot of the things we think we want, we don't actually want it.

我们想要，是因为父母想要，是因为社会说我们该想要，是因为我们把别人的梦想当成了自己的。

Yeah, we want them because our parents want them because our culture says we should want them because we've absorbed other people's dreams and carry them around like our own.

所以，我现在就允许你，把这些负担放下来。

So I want to give you the permission right now to put those things down.

听起来可能有点难接受，但你其实并不欠父母什么。

This might feel uncomfortable to hear, but you don't actually owe your parents anything.

我知道，我知道，但你先听我说完。

I know, I know, but stay with me.

你的父母把你带到这个世界上来。

Your parents brought you into this world.

如果他们是称职的父母，他们给了你爱、关怀和资源，但真正优秀的父母给予孩子的最大礼物，是让你成为独立的个体。

If they were good parents, they gave you love, they gave you care, they gave you resources, but what a truly good parent does, the real gift they give their child is personhood.

让你有权利成为你自己。

The freedom to become your own person.

就这么简单。

That's it.

如果你的父母已经尽力了，但没能给你这份自由，那我现在就把它送给你。

So if your parents did their best, but didn't quite give you that freedom, I'm giving it to you right now.

我不是有这个资格，但我是真心想帮你。

Not that I have the right to, but you know, I'm trying my best.

你有权利为自己而活，二十岁就该专注自己，屏蔽外界的干扰，弄清楚你是谁，你真正想要什么，什么样的生活才适合你的天性。

You are allowed to live for yourself at twenty, zero in on yourself, ignore the noise, figure out who you are, what you want, what actually makes sense for the way you are wired.

好了，第三点，你真的得活在当下。

Okay, number three, you really have to live like it's happening right now.

保持专注当下。

Stay present.

这话听起来老生常谈，但我最近跟我妈聊天，她也跟我说：你真的得活在当下。

This sounds generic, but listen, I was having a conversation recently with my mother and she said to me, you really have to live like it's happening right now.

丫头。

Girl.

这话让我愣住了，因为我的青少年时期、二十岁出头，甚至童年的一些时候，我总是盯着下一步、盯着未来、盯着计划。

It stopped me because so much of my young life, my teens, my early twenties, even parts of my childhood, I was so focused on where I was going on the next thing, the future, on the plan.

但我妈跟我说：你一眨眼就五十了。

But my mom said to me, listen, you blink and you're 50.

可你还在想自己下一步要去哪儿。

And you're still thinking about where you are headed.

你还在想着未来会怎样，可生活已经从你身边溜走了。

You're still thinking about where you are going and life has passed you by.

你根本没好好活过，因为你一生都在奔向下一个目标，而不是珍惜当下。

You haven't even lived a bitch because your whole life was about where you were going, not where you are.

对，对未来的担忧确实非常真实。

Yes, the fear of the future is very, very valid.

对，为未来做规划是必要的。

Yes, planning for your future is necessary.

带着长远眼光做决定也是必不可少的。

Making decisions with your future in mind is necessary.

但求你了，别再只顾着赶路，好好留在此刻吧，因为此刻才是你真实的人生。

But please, please let yourself be here in this moment because this moment is your actual life.

明天从来都不是 guaranteed 的。

Tomorrow is not promised.

第四点，多去夜店跳舞，或者至少多在公共场合跳跳舞。

Number four, go more clubbing or at least do more public dancing.

这听起来可能像老生常谈，因为很多媒体总把二十多岁描绘成尽情玩乐、肆意放纵的年纪，但实际上，很多二十岁的人正被生活、压力和创伤压得喘不过气。

This might feel like generic advice since a lot of media depicts our twenties as the years of fun and recklessness, but many 20 year olds are bogged down by life and stress and trauma.

于是我们不去外出，不参加那些理所当然的派对和娱乐，反而把自己关起来。

And instead of going out, instead of doing the usual expected partying and having fun, we isolate.

我二十岁的时候就是这样。

This was me at 20.

我很少出门，但我一直特别喜欢跳舞。

I didn't go out much and I have always loved dancing.

听我说，我到现在哪儿都跳，那时候也是哪儿都跳，但我从来没法参加社交活动，因为我对刺激太敏感了——灯光、噪音、人挤人的俱乐部简直让我受不了。

Listen, I danced everywhere till today and even back then I danced everywhere, but I was never really able to do social outings because I'm very sensitive to stimulation, the lights, the noise, the chaos of being in a packed club.

所以我一直躲着这些地方。

So I avoided it.

但现在我年纪大了，出门也多了，我才明白，关键在于自己安排体验。

But now that I'm older and I go out much more, and what I've realized is that the key is to curate your experience.

如果你不喜欢那种灯光刺眼、人贴人、满是汗水的俱乐部，根本没必要去。

You don't have to go to the blazing, flashing, wall to wall sweaty club if that's not for you.

你没必要去那些贵的地方。

You don't have to go to expensive places.

你和朋友完全可以聚在谁家，办个家庭派对。

You and your friends can literally gather in somebody's house and do a house party.

我现在常去爵士酒吧、秘密酒馆，那种灯光柔和、空间紧凑的地方，有桌子、舞池，还有现场音乐。

Right now I go to jazz bars, speakeasies, intimate spaces with low consistent lighting, places where there are tables and a dance floor and live music.

我特别喜欢现场音乐，你可以坐着，可以跳舞，也能跟其他喜欢小酌、享受节奏的人聊聊天。

I love live music and you can sit and you can dance and even chat with other people who like a drink and a groove.

就这样聊着聊着，你就交到了朋友。

And you have these conversations and you make friends.

记住，即使不喝酒，你照样能玩得特别开心。

And remember, you can be sober and still have the time of your life.

关键就在于好好挑选。

Just curate it.

我不喝酒，所以我最清楚。

I'm sober so I would know.

跳舞是一种灵性的体验。

Dancing is spiritual.

在我的文化里，跳舞就是有灵性的。

In my culture, it's spiritual.

在很多文化中，跳舞都带有灵性。

In many cultures, it's spiritual.

多晃晃屁股，能释放压力。

Shake your bum often, it releases tension.

那种让你待在屋里出不来的压力，我跟你说，多去跳舞，很多都会慢慢消散。

That stress that is keeping you in your room, I'm telling you go and dance often and a lot of it will be going away.

它能改变你的能量状态。

It changes your energy.

这是最原始、最让人快乐的肢体表达之一。

It's one of the most primal, joyful embodied things you can do.

多到外面去跳舞吧。

Go outside and dance more.

如果没人陪你一起去，那正好，一个人去就行。

And if you don't have people to go with, great, go alone.

第五点，了解你的肤质。

Number five, study your skin type.

我真希望早点明白这一点。

This is something I wish I'd figured out sooner.

听我说，我十几岁到二十岁出头的时候，什么新产品都试，什么火就用什么精华，别人说什么就跟着买。

Listen, in my teens and real early twenties, I was trying everything, every new product, every trending serum, whatever was getting talked about.

结果把皮肤屏障都搞坏了。

And I was breaking my skin barrier in the process.

说实话，我那时候居然把柠檬直接抹在脸上，生柠檬，就涂在脸上。

Listen, at some point I was putting lemon on my face, lemon, raw lemon on my precious face.

求求你们，要是能回到那时候，一定拦住我，那真的太疯狂了。

Please, somebody go back to that time and stop me because it was crazy.

我真把生柠檬涂在脸上了。

I was putting raw lemon on my face.

一旦你真正了解了自己的皮肤、肤质，以及皮肤真正需要什么，一切都会变得简单起来。

Once you actually understand your skin, your skin type, what your skin actually needs, everything gets simpler.

我现在用的一些产品，已经用了快八年了。

Some of the products I use right now, I've been using them for nearly eight years.

所以我不太愿意随便分享什么‘我的护肤流程’。

That's why I'm quite reluctant to do like, Oh, here's my skincare routine.

别人问我时，因为这是我的皮肤，我最了解它。

When people ask me because it's my skin, I understand my skin.

我一直用着同样的东西、同样的步骤，因为一旦找到适合我皮肤的方法，我就不再追着潮流跑了。

So I've been using the same things, the same routine, because once I found out what works for my skin, I stopped chasing trends.

别因为网上有人说某产品能改变人生，就什么都买，先弄清楚你的皮肤现在真正需要什么。

So instead of buying everything because someone on the internet called it life changing, figure out what your skin actually needs right now.

好吧，是需要补水吗？

Okay, is it hydration?

还是需要护理毛孔？

Is it pore care?

是修复屏障吗？

Is it barrier repair?

针对这个具体需求去买产品，坚持这个护肤流程，只有当皮肤真正有变化时再做调整。

Buy for that specific need and stick to that routine and adjust only when your skin's needs genuinely change.

我的皮肤在夏天和冬天的表现不太一样。

My skin tends to act a bit different in summer than in winter.

所以我只会换一两样东西，但整体还是不变。

So I switch up one or two things, but it's the same thing.

每年稍微调整一下就行了。

Just, you know, switch them every year.

这样能省下不少钱。

It saves you money.

还能节省时间，皮肤也会感谢你。

It saves you time and your skin will thank you.

第六点，多去旅行，不管你怎么定义旅行。

Number six, travel more, whatever that looks like for you.

在谈这一点之前，我必须明确说明并承认护照带来的特权。

Before I say anything on this point, I want to be very clear and acknowledge passport privilege.

我出生在尼日利亚。

I was born in Nigeria.

我知道没有护照特权是什么感觉。

I know what it's like to have no passport privilege.

我知道签证流程有多让人感到被剥夺尊严，真的太让人沮丧了。

I know how dehumanizing, God, how dehumanizing the visa processes are.

所以当我建议多旅行时，我不是说‘好姐妹，随便买张机票就走吧’，也不是让我带你一起去巴黎吃早餐、希腊吃午餐、瑞典吃晚餐。

So when I say travel more, I do not mean just hop on a plane bestie or come with me while I go eat breakfast in Paris, lunch in Greece and dinner in Sweden.

不，我不是这个意思。

No, that's not what I'm saying.

我的意思是，用你护照和预算允许的方式，去拓展你的世界。

What I'm saying is expand your world in whatever way your passport and your budget allows.

如果你在伦敦，不妨抽个周末去曼彻斯特走走。

If you're in London, take a weekend in Manchester.

如果你在一个城市，就去周边的城市逛逛，换个州住住，放慢脚步旅行，去参加一场新的活动，查查你的护照免签有哪些国家，就去那些地方。

If you're in a city, explore the cities nearby, move to a different state, do slow travel, go for an event somewhere new, look up which countries are visa free on your passport and go to those places.

找找和你本国关系良好的国家。

Find countries with good diplomatic relationships with yours.

看看有哪些边境可以坐巴士过去。

Find the border crossings you can do by bus.

旅行的意义不在于发一条Instagram动态，告诉别人你去过哪里。

The point of travel isn't an Instagram post and telling the world that you went.

真正的意义在于开阔眼界，认识不同的人，了解不同社区的生活方式。

The point is exposure, meeting different people, seeing how different communities live.

它会拓宽你的认知边界，改变你看待世界和看待自己的方式。

It expands your reference points and it changes how you see the world and how you see yourself.

所以，不管对你来说是什么形式，多出去走走吧。

So however that looks for you, travel more.

第七点，找一项运动来参与。

Number seven, take up a sport.

听我说，我有发育性协调障碍。

Listen, I'm dyspraxic.

所以我这么说，是完全明白对有些人来说，运动可能根本遥不可及。

So I say this with full awareness that sports can feel inaccessible for some of us.

我的运动协调能力一直不太好。

My motor coordination has always been a bit off.

我以前老是撞上电线杆。

I used to walk into poles.

走路的时候莫名其妙就绊倒，然后直接摔在地上。

I used to just trip on air and then I would just fall.

走着走着，人就突然不见了。

I'd be walking, walking and I've disappeared.

我人呢？

Where am I?

结果掉进路边的排水沟里，压根没看见它。

Inside the fucking gutter on the floor because I didn't see it.

好吧。

Okay.

我曾经摔过一次，严重到不得不去医院，做了核磁共振和X光，该做的检查全做了。

I have once had a fall that was bad enough that I ended up in the hospital, MRIs, x rays and the whole shebang.

所以我大部分时间都躲着集体体育活动，怕自己受伤。

So I spent a lot of my use just avoiding group physical activity because I was afraid of hurting myself.

说实话，我也很怕出丑，因为我知道自己肯定做不好。

Also, to be honest, I was quite afraid of looking stupid because I knew automatically that I would be bad.

我知道不可能有奇迹。

I knew there was no miracle.

我知道任何需要身体协调的运动，我都会比别人差很多。

I knew that any physical coordination thing, would suck more than everybody else.

我只是害怕显得笨拙又难看。

I was just afraid of looking bad and stupid.

但关于团队运动，有件事我想说。

But here's the thing about team sports.

团队运动教会你的东西，是很多其他活动给不了的。

They teach you something that many other activities don't teach like that.

它教你如何持续地、公开地在别人面前出错。

They teach you how to consistently and visibly show up and fail in front of other people.

在团队里，你当然会表现得不好，但和其他活动不同的是，你躲不掉，明白吗？

When you're in a team, you get to suck, but unlike many other activities, you can't hide, okay?

你表现得差，但还是继续做，就在这个过程中，你一点点变好。

You suck and you keep going and in that going, you get incrementally better.

这种能力，是人这一生中最宝贵的东西之一。

And that skill is one of the most valuable things you can have as a human being.

它会提升你的艺术表现。

It will help your art.

它会增强你的创造力和自信心。

It will help your creativity, your confidence.

别忘了，还有社交、健康和体能这些额外的好处。

And then let's not forget the added benefit of socialization and health and fitness.

也不一定非得是那种高风险的运动。

And it doesn't have to be like a high stakes sports.

比如，就参加个本地的足球队就行。

Like, it can just be a local group football.

我不确定。

I don't know.

每周三抽空去参加个活动也好。

Once every Wednesday, just join something.

也可以是跳舞。

It can be a dance.

不一定要传统意义上的运动，但得是团队合作的事儿，大家一起干，每个人都要靠别人，事情才能成。

It doesn't have to be sports in the traditional sense of it, but like a group teamwork teamwork effort, something that you do as a group that everybody in the group relies on the other person for the thing to come to fruition.

第八点，往你的边界靠近。

Number eight, go toward your edge.

这一条对不同的人来说，方向也不一样。

This one goes in different directions depending on who you are.

我这个人天生就喜欢独来独往。

I'm someone who by nature does everything alone.

说实话，我根本不需要别人陪我做任何事。

Okay, I don't need people to do anything with me.

我一个人待着特别自在，这对我来说是常态。

I'm very comfortable with my own company is generally my default.

对我而言，真正的挑战就是主动去拉上别人一起参与。

So for me, that stretch, the thing that pushes me is including other people.

如果你跟我一样，那就多找点事儿跟别人一起做吧。

If you're like me, do more stuff with other people.

没错，肯定会不方便。

Yes, it will be inconvenient.

这还用说吗。

Duh.

是啊，别人确实会惹你烦。

Yes, people will get on your nerves.

这还用说。

Duh.

但还是得去做。

But do it anyway.

因为多和人相处，你能学会怎么处理人际关系。

Because by spending time with more people, you learn how to navigate relationships.

你会明白别人是怎么想的。

You learn how other people think.

你会看清自己在别人面前是怎么思考的。

You learn how you think in relation to other people.

有些关于自己的发现，只有在与人相处时才能得到。

You discover things about yourself that you can only discover in community.

如果你正好相反，凡事都离不开人，从来没好好独处过，那就反过来听：学会独处，一个人做事，自己出去走走，安静地陪陪自己。

If you're the opposite, if you're someone who needs people around for everything and you never really spent any time with yourself, flip this advice, learn to be alone, do things solo, take yourself out, sit with yourself by yourself.

关键是往你的边界走，往那些让你有点不舒服的情境里走。

The point is to go towards your edge, go towards the scene that is slightly uncomfortable.

成长就发生在这些地方。

That's where the growth is.

第九条，这条建议非常具体：要明白，大多数人说的并不是他们真正想表达的意思。

Number nine, nine, this is a very specific kind of advice, but realize that most people don't say what they mean.

我是个很直白的人。

I'm a very literal person.

我说什么就是什么意思。

I say what I mean.

我说的话就是我的本意，从不拐弯抹角。

I mean, what I say, I don't circle around things.

我直接把话说出来。

I just say the thing.

我花了好一段时间才真正明白，大多数人并不是这样的。

And it took me a while to fully internalize that most people are not like this.

所以我会告诉二十岁的自己：多留意人们的行动，而不仅仅是他们说了什么。

So what I would tell my 20 year old sweet girl, is pay attention to people's actions, not just their words.

留意人们的行为，看他们选择什么，观察其中的模式。

Watch what people do, watch what they choose, watch the patterns.

我在这方面挺幸运的，因为我的模式识别能力天生就特别强。

And I've been quite lucky with this because my pattern recognition is really, really strong naturally.

不过我也明白了，人们通过行为暴露自己，远比通过言语来得真实。

So, but I've learned that people reveal them themselves through behavior far more honestly than through speech.

言语可以被修饰。

Words can be polished.

行动几乎总是诚恳的。

Actions are almost always honest.

最后，最重要的一点：了解你的神经类型。

And finally, the big one, learn your neuro type.

天啊，真是的。

Oh my fucking God.

我本来想过把这个放在第一位，但还是留到最后，是想多陪陪你。

I did consider making this my number one, but I left it for last because I wanted to stay with you.

没有什么比了解自己的思维运作方式更重要了——你是怎么被构建的，怎么处理信息的，怎么感知世界的，你的大脑需要什么才能发挥最佳状态。

There is nothing and I mean nothing, nothing more important than knowing how your mind works, how you are wired, how you process information, how you experience the world, what your brain needs to function at its best.

市面上有太多关于如何生活、该做什么、该去哪儿的建议，但大部分都会把你拖垮。

There is so much advice out there about how to live, what to do, where to go, And most of it will cripple you.

如果你不清楚自己是怎么运作的，那些 Advice 反而会把你压得粉碎，因为那些建议是别人为他们自己的大脑写的，不是为你量身定做的。

In fact, it will crush you to find dust if you don't know how you operate because that advice was written or conjured by somebody else for their brain, for the way their brain works, not yours.

好吧。

Okay.

一旦我明白了自己神经系统的运作方式，生活中很多以前想不通的事突然就清楚了。

So once I understood how I neurologically function, so much of my life made sense.

我终于明白，为什么直到14岁我还认不清时间，哪怕我门门功课都是A，拿过一堆奖，把钟表放我面前，我也分不清左边右边。

I finally understood why I couldn't tell time until I was 14, even with all my A's and awards, put a clock in front of me and I didn't know left from right.

直到今天，我还是要抬一下右手才能确认这是我的右手，抬一下左手才能确认那是我的左手。

I understood why till today I still have to raise up my right hand to know that it's my right hand and raise up my left hand to know that it's my left hand.

我明白了为什么老是撞到东西，为什么有些环境让我觉得发疯，为什么某些学习方式或工作对我而言几乎不可能，为什么我的世界是这样的，为什么别人觉得难的事，我却觉得轻而易举。

I understood why I kept walking into things, certain environments make me feel insane, why certain types of learning or work are nearly impossible for me, why my world is the way it is, why certain things that many people struggle with come naturally to me.

如果我没最终弄清楚并确认我的大脑是如何运作的，我可能会一辈子觉得自己有问题、太敏感、甚至笨拙或粗心。

If I hadn't eventually figured out and sought confirmation for how my brain works, I would have spent my whole life thinking I was broken, too much, mean, or even stupid or careless.

但我其实根本不是那样的人。

And I'm not any of those things.

明白了。

Okay.

我只是大脑的运作方式不一样而已。

I just have a different neurology.

了解自己，就能筛选建议。

Knowing who you are means you can sift advice.

听到别人说什么的时候，你就能问：这真的适合我吗？

You can hear something and ask, does this actually work for me?

明白了。

Okay.

或者，我该怎么调整一下，让它适合我？

Or how can I make this work for me?

这并不意味着这些建议不好。

Doesn't mean that the advice is bad.

只是适合别人而已。

It's just okay.

对这个人来说，就是这样运作的。

That's how it works for this person.

但像我这样感知世界的人，该怎么调整这些建议，让它适合像我这样思考和感受的人呢？

But for somebody like me, someone who experiences the world this way, how can I tweak this advice so that it works for somebody whose mind and body operates like mine?

你可以根据自己的真实体验来安排生活，而不是别人认为你应该有的体验。

You can curate your life around your actual experiences, not the experience someone else thinks you should be having.

这就是我选择俱乐部体验、做出职业决定的原因。

This is why I curate my club experiences is why I make the career choices I make.

这就是我不当执业律师、也不当执业医生的原因。

This is why I'm not a practicing lawyer or a practicing doctor.

我明白了。

I Okay.

我本可以当医生的。

Could have been Doctor.

但我不当。

Pearl, but I'm not.

我本可以当律师的。

I could have been Barrister Pearl.

但我没当。

I am not.

所以我懂得该听什么建议，该放下什么建议——了解自己，了解你的思维方式。

It's why I know which advice to take and which to set aside, know yourself, know how you are wired.

其他的一切都会随之而来。

Everything else follows from there.

哎呀，我嘴疼。

So, oh, my mouth hurts.

好了，这些就是我会告诉20岁自己的话。

Okay, so those are the things I would tell my 20 year old self.

你还有很多时间去慢慢弄明白。

You have so much room to figure it out.

所以深呼吸一下。

So take a breath.

这可不是简单的呼吸那么简单。

That is more than a breath.

去犯错吧，了解自己，活在当下，相信你一定会好起来的。

Make the mistakes, know yourself, stay present and trust that you are going to be okay.

今天我就说这些了，咱们下一期再见。

That's been me for today and I will see you in the next one.

不同的色彩填满我的脑海，我在编织着梦境，灵魂正承载着无数的梦想。

A different color fills my head I'm being dreams The soul is gonna take million dreams for we're make.

哦，我是在为我们将要创造的世界编织梦想。

Oh, I'm making dreams for the world we're gonna make.

百万个梦想，百万个梦想，为了我们即将创造的世界。

A million dreams, a million dreams for the world we're gonna make.

是的。

Yes.