布兰妮·斯诺

因此，奶昔实际上是我与母亲关系的象征，代表着我渴望得到她的认可。

And so, the milkshake was really sort of this symbol of my relationship with my mom and wanting that validation.

同时也反映了我现在对奶昔的上瘾。

And also my addiction to milkshakes now.

我超爱这个。

I love it.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

这里面有太多内容了，布兰妮。

There's so much there, Britney.

我觉得我不知道该从哪个方向深入。

I feel like, I don't know which direction to go.

但既然你刚刚分享了在片场第一次体验到那种高感的记忆，你还记得小时候在片场经历的第一次低谷吗？

But since you just shared your memory of kind of a first high on set, do you remember your first low on set as a kid?

我记得有一次在片场，我无法进入状态，感到极度恐慌，我曾问过舞台经理，我不知道该不该说，因为这真的很难过。

I remember when I was unable to get there on set in terms of getting myself into a state of panic, I remember asking the stage manager, I don't know if I should share this because this is really sad.

但我记得我曾让舞台经理告诉我，我做得不对。

But I remember asking the stage manager to tell me that I was doing it wrong.

哇哦。

Woah.

哇哦。

Woah.

所以我会感到难过，然后我就能

And so I would get sad and then I would be able

所以，你会，哇。

to So, you would, wow.

去使用它。

To use that.

嗯。

Yeah.

所以，我不知道。

So, I don't know.

我想我可能也把那些小小的片段带到了现在。

I think I've maybe I've also taken little bits of that into even now.

我不再请别人告诉我我做错了什么，但我仍然保留着对如何运用它的意识。

I don't ask people to tell me I'm doing things wrong, but I think the awareness is still there of what to use.

你知道吗，我忍不住想，我记得在《约翰·塔克必死》这部电影的某个场景里，我们之前提到过，我作为角色，总是扮演那个沙发上的角色。

You know, I can't help, but I do remember in this scene in we were gonna mention at some point John Tucker Must Die where I, as a character, am it's always the Couchsnay.

天哪。

Oh god.

当我的角色在说话时，我不记得自己说了什么，而且我也不太记得发生了什么，老实说。

When my character I don't remember what I'm saying, but and I don't really remember I don't remember what's happening, frankly.

我不记得那里有什么了。

I don't remember what there's

你注意到了一个趋势。

a trend you're picking up on.

但我知道，我的角色是在对你的角色说，他基本上是在责备你。

But I know that I know that my character is saying to yours, he's basically like he's kind of shaming you.

是的。

Yeah.

他像是在说，我以为你不一样，类似这样的话。

He's like saying I thought you were different, something along those lines.

哦，对。

Oh, yeah.

因为你的角色整个弧线就是试图，你知道的，她到底在做什么？

Because the whole arc of your character is that you're trying to you know, she's what is she doing?

她试图揭穿这个家伙，但后来她却渐渐爱上了他，然后意识到也许自己并不比别人高尚，这就像一种让人谦卑的经历。

She's she's trying to, like, out this guy, but then she sort of falls for him, then she realizes maybe she's not better than you know, it's like this humbling thing.

然后我就记得，在那场戏里，当你达到一种极度脆弱的状态时，因为我也需要知道，为了什么？

And then I just remember in that scene, you you got to a place of such vulnerability when I because I also in order to you know what?

我记得，为了让你有感觉，我们当时一定有某种默契。

I'm remembering in order to make you feel we must have had some kind of understanding here.

但我当时是想帮你，你知道的，让你达到那个状态，所以我即兴发挥了一些，说了比剧本里更过分的话。

But I was trying to help you, you know, get there, and so I ad libbed a little bit and said worse things than are in the script.

天哪。

Oh my god.

我完全不记得这件事了。

I don't I don't remember this at all.

不。

No.

总之，也许

Anyway Maybe

我把它屏蔽了。

I blocked it out.

嗯。

Yeah.

而且，只是稍微一点。

And I mean, just a little.

我的意思是，我不是那种会做出真正过分举动的人，但是

I mean, I'm not like, you know, I wouldn't have done anything like really out of pocket, but

对。

Right.

我只是觉得，那里有一种有趣的、我不知道该怎么说的镜像关系。

I'm just kind of, you know, there's an interesting, I don't know, degrees mirror there.

我不知道。

I don't know.

我对于拍那部电影有很多特别的记忆，因为我总觉得自己和角色非常相似。

I have really interesting memories of doing that that movie because I always kind of felt like we were very similar to our characters.

我们所有人都很像。

All of us were.

每个人都是。

Everybody.

确实如此。

It's sort of true.

嗯。

Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

所以我确实觉得我们就是那群人里独立、敏感又怪异的那类人。

And so I did sort of feel like we were sort of the indie sensitive weirdos of that.

那群人里的？

Of that bunch?

那群人里的。

Of that bunch.

嗯。

Yeah.

还有Do

And Do

你还记得当时《男女生排》也在那里拍摄吗？

you remember that She's the Man was shooting there at the same time?

哦，哇。

Oh, wow.

我记得。

I do.

是的。

Yeah.

所以我们都在同一家酒店。

So we were all in the same hotel.

哇。

Wow.

那是一部有趣的电影。

That's a fun movie.

是的。

Yeah.

我记得当时觉得那部电影肯定会大受欢迎，而我们的电影则会很糟糕。

And I I remember thinking that that movie was gonna be just so big and ours was gonna be terrible.

然后，你知道的，我懂什么？

And then, you know, what do I know?

嗯。

Yeah.

嗯，那个片子当时挺火的。

Well, that one that one was big at the time.

哦，是啊。

Oh, yeah.

这两部片子都表现得不错。

Of both did really well.

嗯。

Yeah.

我们可能会再多聊聊《约翰·塔克必死》。

We'll talk more about John Tucker Must Die probably.

但先稍微回到中学时代，问问你最初对暗恋的经历是什么。

But just bring it back a little bit to middle school and ask you what your first experiences were around crushes.

因为这是一种独特的情况。

Because that's a unique situation.

你每周去学校几天，去上班几天。

You were going to school a couple days a week, going to work a couple days a week.

那时候你对恋爱有什么感受？

What were you what were your your feelings around like romance at that age?

我在中学时对自己并不自信，当然，谁不是呢？但我在中学经历了一段非常艰难的时光，因为我被欺负了，对此我非常坦诚，我还为此创办了一个慈善机构。

I I was not very comfortable in myself when I was in in middle school, obviously, who is But but I I went through a pretty hard time during middle school because I was being bullied and I'm very open about this, about a charity that I started a long time ago.

我当时在《指引之光》里演戏，同时也在经历某种困惑，因为我还不懂什么是漂亮，因为我在肥皂剧中看到的那些女性都美得惊人。

I was on Guiding Light and I was also going through some sort of, I didn't know what being pretty was because there was sort of this juxtaposition of what I saw on the soap opera of these women who were so beautiful.

但当我回到中学时，那里有一种不同的美。

And then I would go back to middle school and that was a different type of beauty.

所以我完全混乱了。

And so, I was all mixed up.

我记得我第一个男朋友是个叫克里斯的棒球运动员。

And I remember that my first boyfriend ever was this baseball guy named Chris.

对不起，克里斯，我不是有意提起你的，但我真的对这段关系没兴趣。

And sorry, Chris, I not wasn't to out him, but it was I wasn't into it.

所以我只是勉强应付着中学生和高中第一年该做的事。

So I just kind of I kinda did the going through the motions of what you're supposed to do in middle school and my first year of high school.

我只上了一年高中，就是新生那一年。

I only went to one year of high school, my freshman year.

然后我搬到了洛杉矶，遇到了宾和一群人，我们当时——

And then I moved out to LA and met Penn and a whole group of people that we sort of-

比如，我们这儿不上学。

Like, we don't go to school here.

欢迎。

Welcome.

是的。

Yeah.

我们就住在一些奇怪的公寓里。

We just sort of like live at these weird apartments.

我们自己定规则。

We write our own rules.

是的。

Yeah.

然后去

And go

继续

on

去试镜，然后在星巴克闲逛。

audition And hang out at Starbucks.

我们当时在做什么？

Like, what were we doing?

是的。

Yeah.

但不。

But no.

嗯。

Yeah.

我上中学的时候根本没有那种氛围，我也没时间管那些。

My my middle school was not really filled with any I I didn't have time for that.

我当时忙着打工。

I was busy working.

所以，直到我16岁，才有了我的第一段真正的恋爱，对象是彭的朋友。

So, it wasn't until I was 16 that I had my first real love or relationship with a friend of Penn's.

哦。

Oh.

凯尔。

Kyle.

嗯。

Yeah.

你知道吗？

You know what?

我只是在回忆这一切。

I'm just remembering all this.

我觉得我们就是那样。

Think we're that.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

你当时在场。

You were there.

你就在人群里。

You were like in the crowd.

我记得，是的。

I remember Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

我对看到你、凯尔、丹还有这些家伙的记忆非常非常清晰，你们为什么会在播客里提到我？

I have very, very clear memories of seeing like you and Kyle and Dan and, you know, all these guys are like, why are you bringing me up in this podcast?

但那是我的小圈子。

But but it was my little community.

我真的很喜欢你们。

I I loved you guys.

我当时16岁。

I was 16.

是的。

Yeah.

你觉得你的记忆力普遍很好吗？

Do you feel like you generally have a really good memory?

你觉得你和彭纳现在处于两个极端。

Feel like you and Penner are on different ends of the spectrum right now.

我觉得当事情和情感相关时，我就记得住。

I think when it's tied to emotion, I can remember it.

嗯。

Yeah.

我认为，当我研究过这个问题后，发现很多人都是这样：如果某件事与让你产生情感体验的事情相关，它显然会被以不同的方式存储。

Which I think when I've researched this is I think a lot of people have this where if it's tied to something that made you feel something, obviously it's gonna be stored differently.

但当我没有情感关联时，我什么都记不住。

But when I don't have an emotion tied to it, I can't remember shit.

所以我的记忆力差到极点。

So I have the worst memory.

我记得在我二十出头经历一段糟糕的分手时，我以为自己患有HSAM，这是一种高度某种我現在都记不清名字的能力。

I remember when I was going through a bad breakup in my early twenties, I thought that I had this thing called HSAM, which is a highly some I don't even remember what it's called now.

高度敏感。

Highly sensitive

高度敏感。

Highly sensitive

某种记忆。

Something memory.

模拟记忆。

Analog memory.

哦，对。

Oh, yeah.

是这个吗？

Is that what it is?

你在说没有。

Are you making No.

我不知道。

I don't know.

好吧。

Okay.

差不多就是这样。

Well, something like that.

我当时觉得，我记住了每一个细节。

And I was like, I remember every single detail.

必须把一切都记录下来。

Had to log it all.

然后我从那段分手中走出来，却再也想不起生命中的任何事了。

And then I moved on from that breakup and I cannot remember anything ever in my life.

我心想：天哪。

I'm like, oh, no.

那是因为我当时真的很难受。

It was just because I was I was really struggling.

你就像

You're like

高度敏感。

heightened.

是的。

Yeah.

这让我很有共鸣。

That resonates.

我们还有一个每个嘉宾都会被问到的问题，就是分享一段青春期前的尴尬回忆。

We have another question that we ask every guest, which is to share an embarrassing memory from sort of tween.

任何让你回想起来就感到尴尬、觉得那时太别扭的事情。

Anything that you think back at it and it makes you just like cringe or you're like, that was so awkward.

所以有一次八年级的舞会，那时候我一点都不酷。

So there was an eighth grade dance and at this point, I am not cool.

我经常被欺负。

I am getting picked on a lot.

我真的没有朋友，这听起来像是个悲惨故事，但很多人都经历过。

Don't really have, and this sounds like such a sob story and so many people have gone through this.

所以我拿出我的小提琴，我一个朋友都没有。

So, you know, I'm pulling out my tiny violin, I didn't have any friends.

所以那次中学舞会，我不知道你们有没有印象，或者你们和我年纪相仿，佩恩，你和我同龄，你们还记得那时候荧光棒特别火吗？

And so there was this middle school dance, I don't know if you guys remember this or if you're in my, well, Penn, you're in my same age bracket, but do you remember when glow sticking was really cool?

就像你会

Like you would You

玩荧光棒。

take use sticking.

我记得荧光棒，但什么是荧光棒玩法？

Like I remember glow sticks, but what glow sticking?

在派对上。

At parties.

你就像挥舞着它们。

You like move them around.

对。

Right.

但在八年级的时候。

But like in eighth grade.

不，因为我觉得这最初发生在真正的狂欢派对上，但后来更小的孩子们也开始模仿了。

No, because I think it was happening at real raves, but then like younger kids were like, yeah, we're kind of doing the same thing.

对。

Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

你知道的。

You know?

嗯。

Yeah.

所以很多人都在这么做，我记得当时心想，哦，这就是我要变得酷的方式。

So a lot of people were doing that, and I remember having the thought, oh, that's how I'm gonna be cool.

所以我去买了一些荧光棒，回家后就开始学习怎么玩。

So I went and I got glow sticks and I went home and I I started learning how to do it.

然后我就在派对上靠近别人挥舞荧光棒。

And so then I would I went too close stinging at parties.

对。

Yeah.

这仍然是我掌握的一项技能。

It's still a skill that I have.

我现在已经上过脱口秀并表演过这个了。

And I've gone now I've gone on talk shows and done it.

哇哦。

Like Wow.

我不知道为什么我还要一直把自己困在羞愧的深渊里。

I don't know I don't know why I continued to make sure that I was in this hole of shame.

嗯。

Yeah.

就是为了让别人知道我是个十足的书呆子。

Like, just making sure that people knew that I was a bringing dork.

把它举起来。

It up.

不是吗？

No?

是啊。

I yeah.

所以，我认为这可能是我最尴尬的事情，因为当我回到坦帕时，人们仍然记得它。

So so I think that is probably my most embarrassing thing because because people still remember it when I go back home to Tampa.

他们说：‘你那时候特别迷恋发光贴纸。’

They're like, you were, you got really into like glow sticky.

酷。

Cool.

这让你更受欢迎了吗？

Did it make you cooler?

比如，派对上有人想靠近你吗？

Like, did people at the party wanna like be near you?

没有。

No.

绝对没有。

Absolutely

没有。

not.

不。

No.

不。

No.

一项对任何人都无用的技能。

A skill that is useful to no one.

太棒了。

That's amazing.

是的。

Yeah.

我真的不记得其他什么了。

I don't really I don't really remember much else.

我的意思是，我上学的次数并不多，这很奇怪。

I mean, I wasn't really in school very often, which was which was strange.

当我上学时，我拼命努力跟上那些女孩的步伐，试图重新融入她们。

And when I was there, I was trying so hard desperately to to keep up with the the girls and and make myself fit in again.

然后我会离开，但有一个女孩，每次我一走，就会挑拨其他女孩针对我。

And then I would leave and there was this one girl who every time I leave, would would turn all the other girls on me.

所以当我回到镇上时，我发现了很多不实的谣言，我不得不一一澄清。

So then I had to when I got back in town, I found out all these secrets that weren't true that I had to undo.

天哪。

Oh, man.

这非常戏剧化。

It was very dramatic.

我们马上回来。

And we'll be right back.

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无论你只有五分钟还是一小时，都可以通过桌面或移动应用访问课程。

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对我来说，我那个16岁、快17岁的儿子，现在上的是西班牙语三级课程。

For me, my 16, nearly 17 year old, he is now in, I think, Spanish three.

如果家里有人和他讲西班牙语，他可能已经能说得几乎流利了。

He could speak probably nearly fluent Spanish if he had someone in the house to speak Spanish with.

我真的希望能实现这一点。

I really wanna be able to deliver on this.

我希望能和他进行深入的英语对话，也许我们还能用西班牙语点餐。

I would love to have, well, you know, deep conversations in English and maybe we can order food in Spanish.

这正是我们需要自然开始的地方。

That's where we'll have to start naturally.

Rosetta Stone 在实现这一点上非常有帮助。

Rosetta Stone has been really helpful for doing just that.

我非常喜欢他们的真人口音功能，它能实时反馈我的发音。

I I love how their true accent feature gives real time feedback on my pronunciation.

这让我对自己的西班牙语口语能力更有信心，有时甚至非常自信。

It's helping me feel a little bit more confident, sometimes a lot more confident in my Spanish speaking abilities.

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Don't wait.

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说到节日送礼，我想送一些人们真正喜欢的东西。

When it comes to holiday gifting, I wanna give things people really love.

我的意思是，这有什么意义呢？

I mean, what's the point?

否则，只是又多了一堆东西。

Otherwise, it's just more stuff.

但Quince拥有精美、永恒的单品，人们会穿很多年。

But Quince has beautiful, timeless pieces that people are gonna wear for years.

从蒙古羊绒毛衣到意大利羊毛大衣，每一件都是高品质，价格却非常合理。

From Mongolian cashmere sweaters to Italian wool coats, everything is premium quality at a price that actually makes sense.

Quince为每个人都有合适的选择。

Quint has something for everyone.

它有皮夹克、丝绸上衣和裙子，适合正式场合；剪裁完美的牛仔裤适合日常穿着；还有既保暖又时尚的外套。

It's got leather jackets, silk tops, and skirts for dressing up, perfectly cut denim for everyday wear, and outerwear that actually keeps you warm but still looks good.

他们的意大利羊毛大衣对我来说是最突出的。

Their Italian wool coats are a standout for me.

剪裁精美，触感柔软，经久耐穿。

Beautifully tailored, soft to the touch, and crafted to last for seasons.

我现在购物车里就有一件，因为我以前总是那种情况：当被邀请去吃饭或晚上外出，天气很冷时，我却无计可施。

I have one in my shopping cart right now because I have been the type of person who when I get invited to go to like a dinner or go out at night and it's cold, I'm stuck.

我没有什么像样的衣服可穿。

I have nothing nice to wear.

我身上穿着一套不错的衣服，却被一件丑陋的羽绒服毁了。

I've got like a nice outfit on and then it's ruined by an ugly puffer jacket.

是时候该改变了。

And so it's about time.

我31岁了。

I'm 31.

我需要在生活上更上一层楼了。

I need to step it up in life.

我需要一件漂亮的外套。

I need to have a beautiful coat.

所以我打算选一件Quince的意大利羊毛外套，经典又美观。

And so I'm going for one of these Quince Italian wool coats that are just classic but beautiful.

用Quince寻找好到你都想留着的礼物。

Find gifts so good, you'll want to keep them with Quince.

前往 quince.com/podcrushed，享受免费配送和365天退换服务。

Go to quince.com/podcrushed for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty five day returns.

现在在加拿大也已上市。

Now available in Canada too.

访问 quince.com/podcrushed，获取免费配送和365天退换服务。

That's quince.com/podcrushed to get free shipping and three hundred and sixty five day returns.

quince.com/podcrushed。

Quince.com/podcrushed.

现在有很多人正在专注于达成他们的蛋白质摄入目标。

There are lots of people right now focusing on hitting their protein goals.

也许他们想帮助构建和维持肌肉，或在锻炼后恢复。

Maybe they wanna help build and maintain muscle or recover after a workout.

同时，生活可能会变得非常忙碌。

At the same time, life can get pretty busy.

因此，许多人正在寻找简单且富含蛋白质的选择，而这款产品确实做到了。

That's why so many people are looking for easy, protein packed options, and this one actually delivers.

Ratio蛋白酸奶每杯含有25克蛋白质，使Ratio成为酸奶货架上每杯蛋白质含量最高的产品。

Ratio Protein Yogurt has 25 grams of protein per cup, making Ratio the most protein per cup in the yogurt aisle.

这比四个整鸡蛋的蛋白质含量还高，且不含添加糖。

That's more protein than four whole eggs plus zero added sugar.

你获得的是含有全部九种必需氨基酸的完整蛋白质，零添加糖，且持久饱腹。

You get a complete protein with all nine essential amino acids, zero grams of added sugar, and real staying power.

这种蛋白质有助于身体构建和修复组织，是理想的锻炼后零食，或午后提神的小食。

It's protein that can help your body build and repair tissues, making it an easy post workout snack or just a midday keep going moment.

它不仅富含蛋白质，Ratio蛋白酸奶还拥有顺滑绵密的口感，因此在达成蛋白质目标时无需妥协美味。

Not only is it packed with protein, but ratio protein has a smooth and creamy texture, so there's no need to compromise great taste when hitting protein goals.

这是一种能轻松融入混乱日常的东西。

It's a kind of thing that slips right into a chaotic day.

无需烹饪，无需清理。

No cooking, no cleanup.

只需打开、食用，你就能轻松达成蛋白质目标，而不用再操心烤另一块鸡胸肉。

Just open, eat, and you're on your way to hitting your protein goals without having to worry about baking yet another chicken breast.

Ratio 已经帮你算好了，你无需费心。

Ratio does the math, so you don't have to.

前往 ratiofood.com 查找附近的零售商。

Head to ratiofood.com to find a retailer near you.

当我们谈论这个的同时，我也在观看《Parachute》这部电影，它是一部由

As we were talking about this and and also as I was watching Parachute, which is a beautiful film, by

顺便说一下，

the way,

非常感人，我在想，我第一次意识到自己的身体是什么时候？

very moving, I am thinking like, when was the first moment I remember thinking about my body?

因为你并不是生来就会关注自己的身体。

Because you don't you're not born thinking about your body.

我认为你是被告诉了一些关于你身体的事情，然后你才开始意识到它，并开始思考它。

I think it you you are told things about your body and then you start to become aware of it and you start to think about it.

我在想，其中一个最早的记忆，可能不是第一个，但算是早期的记忆之一，是有人告诉我，当你笑的时候，那是你自然地收紧了腹部肌肉。

And I was thinking one of the this is maybe the first not the first memory, but one of the early memories is someone telling me when you laugh, that's like a you're naturally tensing your abs.

所以如果你想想，当你笑的时候，最终你就会拥有腹肌。

And so if you if you think about it as you laugh, eventually, you'll you'll get abs.

你的肚子会减掉腹部脂肪。

Your stomach will you'll lose stomach fat.

而且这就像

And it's like such

一个如此奇怪的，我不

a such a bizarre I don't

觉得这无论如何都不对。

think that's true at anyway.

但我记得，从那时起，原本应该是无拘无束、开怀大笑、最放松的时刻，现在却成了我思考身体、改变身体的机会。

But I remember then, now all of a sudden, this thing that is that should be like carefree, laughing, the most like at ease you can be is now an opportunity for me to think about my body and changing my body.

那不是你姐姐吗？

Wasn't that your sister?

我正试图

Was trying

不要问。

not to ask.

但我当时想，你已经

But I was like, you've

在播客里讲过这个故事了，关于叙利亚。

already told the story at the podcast when it's Syria.

哦，天哪。

Oh, wow.

抱歉，叙利亚。

Sorry, Syria.

对不起，我妹妹。

Sorry to my sister.

嗯，我记得很多早期的记忆，关于逐渐意识到自己的身体。

Well, I I I remember a lot of early memories about just like becoming aware of my body.

我在想，你是否愿意分享一下，你最早意识到这一点时的回忆是什么？

And I'm wondering if you feel comfortable sharing what were some of your early what was maybe one of the earliest memories where you became aware?

这 definitely 是在《指南之光》上发生的。

It was definitely on Guiding Light.

我记得那个区别，因为我记得12岁时我根本不在乎那一年。

It was I remember the distinction because I remember the the year that I didn't care when I was 12.

然后我进入青春期，我觉得自己像一般人一样长胖了。

And then I hitting puberty and I think that I gained weight as you do.

我只是记得，当时对发生在自己身上的事情失去了控制。

And I just remembered not feeling in control of what was happening to me.

那是我第一次意识到，为什么我觉得自己需要控制这一切，让它……我想这可能也和我当时的处境有关，如果你要从心理学角度分析的话，我确实明白，作为一个有天赋的可爱小演员对我有利，而我希望自己一直保持小巧可爱的女孩形象。

And that was the first marking of why do I feel like I need to contain this and make it, you know, and I think it's also tied to being, I mean, if you want to get psychological, I guess, I definitely had an understanding that being a talented little cute actress was working for me, and I wanted to stay very small in terms of being like a cute little girl.

这也是我在治疗中必须真正扭转的一个观念：你已经长大了。

And that's something that I've had to really undo in therapy too, that you're older.

我38岁了。

I'm 38 years old.

这种认为小巧、像个小女孩的状态必须改变的想法。

Like this sort of idea that being small and being a little girl has to change.

你不能再用这种方式了。

You can't use that anymore.

但我认为，我那时获得的回报系统是：‘她真可爱’。

But I think I was getting such a reward system of being like, oh, she's so cute.

所以，当我13岁时，我记得我甚至不是想要变瘦。

And so, think that when I hit 13, I remember it wasn't even that I wanted to be skinny.

我只是想要变小。

I just wanted to be small.

于是我开始意识到，我可以对身体做一些事情来维持这种状态。

And so, I started to realize that I could do things to my body to keep it that way.

是的。

Yeah.

我认为那就是开始试图控制很多事情的开端。

And I think that that was the beginning of trying to control a lot of things.

我的生活完全失去了控制。

I was completely out of control in terms of my life.

我在拍肥皂剧片场时自学数学和科学。

And I was teaching myself math and science when I was on a soap opera set.

这让我觉得有了一个最好的朋友，可以一起计算所有卡路里，去健身房锻炼两小时，我觉得这就是我的新好友。

And it made me feel like I had a best friend to also count all of my calories and go to the gym for two And I felt like this is my new best friend.

当我这样做时，我感觉没那么孤单了。

And I felt not as alone when I was doing that.

哇。

Wow.

当你说到这有点像一个治疗式的问题时，请原谅我。

When you say this is a little bit of a therapy style question, so forgive me.

我知道你不在乎，就是那样吧。

I know you don't you know, it's like whatever.

当你说到‘这是我新的最好的朋友’，这个人是谁？

When you say this is my new best friend, who is that?

那是一种感觉，无论我做什么，都能占据我内心那份孤独的部分。

It was this sort of feeling that whatever I was doing, it could occupy that part of my mind that felt alone.

所以，当我独自坐在纽约，即将上片场，自学数学时，我就想：我的朋友是谁？

So, when I felt alone sitting there in New York about to go on set, teaching myself math, and I just felt like, who are my friends?

我到底在做什么？

What am I doing?

我才十二三岁。

I'm 12, 13 years old.

这种让我脱离身体、脱离当前环境的执念，让我感到安慰。

This obsession that I can do to make myself leave my body and leave the space I'm in is comforting.

这对我来说真的上瘾了。

And that was was really addictive to me.

布列塔尼，你有朋友吗？

Brittany, did you have friends?

我有一点朋友。

I did a little bit.

我有一个最好的朋友，后来搬走了。

I had one best friend who moved away.

她至今仍然是我最好的朋友。

She's still my best friend to this day.

她是我婚礼上的伴娘。

She was my maid of honor at my wedding.

我们一辈子都是朋友。

And we were friends our whole lives.

但她搬走了，我来自坦帕。

But she moved away to I was from Tampa.

她搬去了奥兰多，我再也见不到她了。

She moved away to Orlando, and I couldn't see her.

而且，你知道，那时候还没有手机，太古老了。

And, you know, there's no cell phones at this So, so old.

但我只记得上学时得重新交朋友，然后去看《指南之光》又失去了他们。

But I just remember having to go to school and trying to make friends again, and then going to Guiding Light and losing them.

这种失去又获得、获得又失去的感觉，也和节食紧密相关。

And sort of that sort of like losing and getting and losing and getting was sort of tied to the dieting as well.

这种得失之间的二元性同时存在，真是挺有意思的。

It was all sort of interesting how that winning and losing was very much that duality was existing at the same time.

我觉得在《降落伞》的开头，你让主角——一个年轻女性——在刷Instagram。

I do think that you, you know, the first moments of Parachute, you have your protagonist, a young woman, scrolling on Instagram.

但据我回忆，第一个镜头是她的眼睛。

And but the but from what I recall, the first shot is, like, just her eyes.

嗯。

Mhmm.

那只是一个非常非常近的特写，拍她的双眼，表情精准地捕捉到了这种感觉。

It's just it's just like a very, very close shot of her eyes and with an expression that that really captures this.

我得说，我们生活在一个媒体饱和的时代，有很多故事都涉及这一维度，我认为，但我还没见过谁像你这样巧妙地捕捉到它。

And I have to say, you know, we live in a media saturated age where there are a lot of stories about that contain this dimension, I I think, but I've not seen anybody capture it, like this deftly, honestly.

那种焦虑，某种程度上是一种深刻的不公，仿佛所有的压力都压在这位女孩的头顶和肩上。

That anxiety, which is like a profound injustice in a way, you know, like all just bearing down this one girl's like head and shoulders.

所以我想称赞你，将这种意识转化为你所创作的内容。

So just wanna commend you for that, that taking all this awareness and channeling it into what you're making.

谢谢。

Thank you.

这真是太好了。

That's really nice.

我认为，我已经有十五年从这部电影所涉及的问题中康复了。

And I think that, you know, I have fifteen years of recovery from what the movie is about.

但如今我觉得更有趣的是，幸运的是，我不必面对Instagram上那种比较成瘾的世界。

But what I think is even more interesting now is that thankfully, I didn't have to deal with the Instagram comparison obsession world.

但我真的想把这一点融入这部电影，因为我认为这充分表明了具有成瘾性格或患有此类疾病的人是如何与执念紧密相连的。

But I really wanted to build that into this movie because I think it's all such a indication of how people with addictive personalities or people who have a disease in this way are so tied to the obsession.

有时候，正是这一点让你感觉没那么孤单。

And sometimes that is the thing that's making you feel less alone.

所以，她眼睛的特写镜头，以及她凝视这个世界的模样，表面上看可能是关于她与女性的比较，但归根结底，她感到孤独。

And so, the close-up shot of her eye and like looking into this world is, I think topically maybe about comparing herself to women, but really underneath it all, it's She feels alone.

这是她第一次离开康复中心，独自一人。

She's outside of this rehab center for the first time where she's alone.

这是她第一次没有和一群人在一起，没有和妈妈在一起，也没有和任何人在一起。

And the first time that she's not with a crowd of people and she's not with her mom, she's not with anybody.

而感到不那么孤单的唯一方式，就是沉迷、观察、比较，确保自己不被落下。我认为，现在很多人，尤其是在社交媒体上，都在这么做，对吧？

And the only way to feel less alone is to obsess and to look and to compare and to make sure that that's And I think that so many people are doing that even now, right, in terms of social media.

就像你感到孤单、不安时，就去Instagram，去TikTok，沉迷其中。我试图主动与这种行为保持距离，但同时也以一种展现其人性与正常性的方式呈现它。

It's like, you feel alone, you feel uneasy, go on Instagram, go on TikTok, obsess about And I think I've tried to actively separate myself from that yet also show it in a way of how it's very human and normal.

既然我们谈到了《降落伞》，也许你可以为那些还没看过的人简单解释一下主题是什么，是什么启发你制作它，以及简要概括一下内容，让不熟悉的人也能了解。

Since we're on the topic of Parachute, maybe you can explain a little bit for listeners who haven't seen it, sort of what the theme is, what inspired you to make it, and just maybe summarize it a little bit for people who aren't familiar with it.

好的。

Yeah.

对。

Right.

《降落伞》讲述了一个女孩从戒瘾中心康复后出院的故事，她曾患有依赖症、饮食失调、抑郁和爱情成瘾。

So, Parachute is about a girl who gets released from rehab for codependency, eating disorder, and depression and love addiction.

她在外出的第一个晚上遇到了一个名叫伊森的男子，而他刚刚从监狱释放。

And she meets a guy named Ethan on her first night out, and he has just been released from jail.

他们本不该在一起，因为在康复的第一年，你不应该进入一段关系，但他们却形成了这种依赖关系，彼此理解、相爱并互相帮助。

And they are not allowed to be together because the first year of recovery, you're not supposed to be in a relationship, yet they form this codependent relationship where they really see each other and love each other and help each other.

但这种关系逐渐变得有毒，他们也意识到了这一点。

But it becomes sort of codependent in this way that they realize is toxic.

这是一部以独特方式讲述的爱情故事，我想通过它探讨一种利他式的爱，以及你为那个无法爱自己的人所做的一切。

And it's sort of a love story told in a way where I wanted to tell a story about altruistic type of love and and what you do for someone who can't love themselves.

这太美了，布列塔尼。

It's beautiful, Brittany.

而且总结得非常好。

It's also really well summarized.

我其实想倒回去听听，是什么吸引你走上导演这条路的？

I'm interested in hearing actually backing up a bit, like what drew you towards directing?

你知道吗？

You know?

因为你一直都有这种感觉吗？

Because did you always feel it?

你知道吗？

You know?

就像在青少年时期？

Like, when it were teens?

那时候它对你来说就是明确的未来方向吗？还是什么时候才出现的？

Like, was it something that was on the horizon for you clearly, or when did it emerge?

这从来都不是我的计划。

It wasn't a part of plan, no.

但我认为，在二十岁出头的时候，我开始意识到，我更多是从合作、构建模块和拼图碎片的角度来看待这一切的。

But I think that I started to realize in my early twenties that I was seeing things a lot more from the collaboration and the building blocks and the puzzle pieces of it all.

我真的很喜欢这一点。

And I really liked that.

我真的很喜欢那种感觉，也许这是我的控制欲吧，但我特别喜欢看到当一群各自领域非常出色的人聚在一起时，每一件小事都能完美融合，这种合作让我感到非常兴奋。

I really liked feeling, and maybe this is my control thing, but I really liked getting that sort of sense of every little thing comes together in a really beautiful way when you put together people who are very talented at what they do and sort of that collaboration was really exciting to me.

但我从未想过自己能做这件事，也从未觉得自己会擅长它。

But I never thought I could do it, and I never thought I would be good at it.

所以，当我写下这个故事时，我原本是打算让别人来执导的。

So, when I wrote this, I kind of set out for someone else to direct it.

然后新冠疫情发生了，我对自己说：‘姑娘，你太控制欲了，根本不可能让别人来讲述你的故事。’

And then COVID happened, and I thought to myself, girl, you're too much of a control freak to let anyone else tell your story.

你疯了吗？

What you nuts?

于是，我相当于给自己上了一门微型电影学校。

So, I put myself through like a mini film school in a way.

在疫情期间，我读了很多书，看了费里尼的电影，还有那些我本该在年轻时就看过的所有影片，而且

And during COVID, read a bunch of books and watched Fellini and, you know, all the movies that I probably should have watched when I was younger and

我从来没看过费里尼。

Still never seen Fellini.

闭嘴。

Shut up.

不，你真的没看过。

No, you haven't.

没看过。

No, haven't.

我真的没看过。

No, I definitely haven't.

那我给你列个单子。

Well, I'll give you a list.

你应该看的

You should have

单子。

a list.

我做了所有那些无聊的、你知道的、正经的事，还参加了各种大师课，不算是无聊，但确实都做了。

Did all of the I did all the boring, you know, good stuff and and also did lame not lame, but I did even like master classes.

你知道，我只是想尽量做到，如果我到片场时有人问我问题，我至少能对所有那些烦人的事有点应对之策。

You know, I just tried to do it all to the to the point where I felt like if I got there on set and someone asked me a question, I would have some sort of where for all of annoying.

当我开始做这些之后，我才意识到，哦，也许你本来就应该这么做。

And then once I started doing it, I just realized, oh, maybe you were supposed to do this.

也许你本来就应该这么做，因为我觉得自己参与其中，而且以一种方式了解自己在做什么。

Maybe you're supposed to do this because I felt like I I had a hand in and and I knew what I was doing in a way.

我们回到《约翰·塔克必死》这部电影吧。

Let's go back to John Tucker Must Die.

我有个很热的问题要问你们两位。

I have a hot a hot question for both

你们。

of you.

杰西·梅特卡尔夫最近——就在昨天——提到了一部正在开发中的剧本。

Jesse Metcalf has very recently, as of like yesterday, talked about a script that's in development.

他读过了。

He's read it.

他很喜欢这个续集的剧本。

He loves it for a sequel.

然后我读到一篇网上文章，说所有原班人马都将参与其中。

And then I read an article on e online that said that all of the original cast members are meant to be involved.

所以我想问你们，你们会参与这部续集吗？

So I wanted to ask you guys, will you be part of a job?

这包括我们吗？

Does that include us?

文章说所有原版演员都会参与。

Said all the OG cast.

文中提到了佩恩·巴吉利、布里特妮·斯诺、索菲亚·布什和杰西·梅特卡尔夫。

And it says, Penn Badgley, Britney Snow, Sofia Bush, Jesse Metcalf.

这则消息来自E娱乐新闻。

It's on e Entertainment News.

对还是错？

True or false?

如果《约翰·塔克必死》拍续集，你们有可能参与吗？

Are you guys potentially part of a sequel for John Tucker Must Die if it gets greenlit?

你们被允许

Are you allowed

来

to

我

I

我不知道你们有没有接到电话，但我没接到任何电话。

don't know if you've had I I don't know if you've had a call, but I've gotten no call.

知道。

Know.

我也没接到电话。

I've had no call.

不。

No.

我的意思是，也许在量子物理的叠加态中，一切都有可能，比如这个苹果可能会往上掉。

I mean, it's maybe possible in like the superposition quantum physics, like everything is potentially within the realm of like, maybe this apple will fall up.

我确实无法确定。

I actually can't say with certainty.

有趣。

Interesting.

是的。

Yeah.

我不知道我有没有，我的意思是，看，我在电影里扮演的角色最小。

I don't know that I've I mean, look, I've got the smallest role in the movie.

我知道我无论如何都会属于这部电影。

I know that I would belong in it anyway.

但我的意思是，布兰妮

But I mean, Britney

如果你不做，我也不做。

I'm not doing it if you're not doing it.

嗯。

Yeah.

你

You

你们是第一个听到的。

guys heard it first.

你们是第一个听到的。

You heard it first.

不。

No.

我的意思是，

I mean,

我从来没想过这会是一个可能的事情。

I'd I never have I even thought of that as a as a potential thing.

但我猜如果有个剧本，我会读。

But I guess if there was a script, I would read.

确实有个剧本。

There is a script.

而且据杰西·麦卡斯说，这个剧本很有趣。

And apparently it's funny, according to Jesse MacKath.

真的吗？

Really?

是的。

Yeah.

我打算发给你这篇文章。

I'm gonna send you this article.

我多年来一直和阿里尔讨论这件事，因为她一直在努力推动这个项目。

I have been talking to Ariel about this for for years because she was trying to get it off the ground.

但我不知道后来发生了什么，我只是觉得，随它去吧。

But I didn't know what happened and it kind of just I was like, go forth.

你知道的，就照这个去做吧。

You know, go forth with that.

但据我所知，我最后一次听说的是她正努力促成这件事。

But so that was the last I had heard of it was that she was trying to make it happen.

所以我想她确实做到了。

And so I guess she did.

问号？

Question mark?

所以我会的

So, I will

没错。

True.

我们能相信吗

Do we trust

是的。

Yeah.

我会阅读任何人们为之付出巨大努力的作品。

Any I will read whatever people they've worked really hard.

那么，你们在片场彼此的第一印象是什么？

So What are you guys what are your first memories of each other on set?

在片场？

On set?

嗯，是的，我们本来就认识。

Well, yeah, we did know each other.

等等。

Wait.

因为你当时在和他最好的朋友约会，还是你在和……

Because you were dating his best friend or you were dating

他的朋友。

his friend.

你们是通过这个认识的吗？

Is that how you knew each other?

或者不。

Or No.

我的意思是

I mean

不是最好的朋友。

Not a best friend.

是的。

Yeah.

就像我们当时在

Was like we were in the

同一个圈子里，像是同心圆。

same There was like concentric circles.

我们并不完全属于同一个群体，但我们有很多共同的圈子。

We were we were not squarely in the same group, but we were we belonged to a lot of the same groups.

你懂我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

所以我们非常了解对方。

So we were very much aware of each other.

然后多年后，你知道，我们的妈妈们曾经短暂地联合在一起。

And then years later, you know, our our mothers would band together for a little bit.

哦，是的。

Oh, yeah.

告诉我们吧，他们创办了一家公司，像是为孩子管理的经纪公司，管理公司，针对

Tell us about They started they started a company like a manager company, a manage management company for kids, for

不管什么。

whatever.

哦，不管什么。

Oh, whatever.

哦，上帝保佑。

Oh, God bless.

是的。

Yeah.

我觉得他们俩都很有眼光，能发现演员，尤其是年轻演员的潜力。

I think both of them had a good eye for talent and for the actor, the young actors.

我真的不知道那里发生了什么。

And I don't really know what happened there.

我记得曾给你发过短信，说：‘我们的妈妈居然一起做生意了？’

I do remember texting you and being like, our moms are in business together?

是的。

Yeah.

我当时就想，我确实尽力去支持，但从不鼓励，因为在我看来，管理孩子——这么说吧，我得为我妈妈说句公道话，我不知道你妈妈是怎么说的，但我知道我妈妈有时会劝孩子们和他们的家人放弃，回家去。

And I was like, And I certainly tried to be supportive while never encouraging because managing children to me is, you know, like you know, to my mom's credit, and I don't know what what your mom ever said about it, but I know that my mom actually sometimes encouraged children and their families to stop doing it and go home.

就是如此。

There it is.

因为你看，数字根本不站在任何人这边。

Because it's like, look, you know, the numbers are not on in anyone's favor.

这并不是说你不够格，而是我觉得，你大概十二三岁、十四岁的时候，就不该把整个人生都押在这件事上。

And there's like it's it's not so much like, oh, you're not cut out for this, but I think there's a certain thing like, neither you you you chances are you shouldn't be devoting your life at 12, 13, 14 years old to this.

你不应该让父母和其他兄弟姐妹可能分开。

You shouldn't be potentially separating parents and other siblings.

你知道吗？

You know?

你应该尽量保持家庭完整，不要只是去好莱坞追逐那个极有可能失败的梦想。

You you you should try to stay intact and, like, not just go live this dream in in Hollywood that is that is more than likely far more than likely going to fail.

但与此同时，你也不希望打击任何人追求这种信念或对真正艺术形式的热情。

You know, at the same time, you don't wanna dissuade anybody from pursuing this, like, I don't know, this conviction, the passion they might have for a genuine art form.

但我觉得，我妈妈所做的，就是尽可能务实，这就是我的感受。

But I think, you know, I think I think my mom did what she could to to be pragmatic is what I hear.

我

I

说实话，我认为这是更好的做法。

think that's that's very that's probably the better way of going about it, to be honest.

因为我也觉得，对孩子来说，这很容易让人困惑：他们这么做是为了自己吗？

Because also I think that it gets really confusing for for the kid of are they doing it for them?

他们是为孩子做的吗？

Are they doing it for the kid?

当然。

Of course.

是啊。

Yeah.

知道。

Know.

这真的是，我们还是回到《约翰·塔克必死》吧。

It's it's it's really Let's get back to John Tucker Must Die.

是啊。

Yeah.

是啊。

Yeah.

那么，你在片场一起工作时，有什么难忘的回忆吗？

Well, do you have any sort of memorable sort of memories on set working together?

你说过，布兰妮，你觉得你和潘就像是那种独立又古怪的孩子。

You said, Britney, that you felt like you and Pen were kind of like the indie weird kids.

很想听听更多关于这方面的内容。

Would love to hear more about that.

嗯。

Yeah.

嗯，布兰妮当时一直在工作，而我就像待在酒店房间里，和《她是我的男人》的剧组成员一起闲逛。

Well, Britney was working all the time, and I was like just in a hotel room, like hanging out with She's The Man cast.

真的吗？

Really?

嗯。

Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

然后和杰西出去玩了几个晚上，感觉天啊。

And then like going out a few nights with Jesse and just feeling like, oh my god.