The Daily Habits Behind Endless Income - Garrett Gunderson

但对于那些手头没钱的人来说，我们现在所处的世界，获取优质信息的成本其实很低。

But for someone that doesn't even have money, we're in a world where we have access to pretty amazing information really inexpensively.

再加上AI工具，我们能很快地筛选出有用的内容。

And with AI tools, we can sort through it pretty quickly.

所以我建议，每天早上至少从三个方面投资自己。

So my suggestion is people start their day with investing in themselves in at least three ways.

锻炼、学习，还有提升认知。

Exercise, education, and enlightenment.

比如，早上起床准备时、锻炼时，都可以听些内容，然后花点时间想想：这些信息里，有没有哪一点能让我生活变得更好？

Like, the things that you could listen to while you're getting ready in the morning, while you're working out, and then just take time to see how it applies to you by asking yourself questions of what's one thing I could do from this to improve my life.

只要早上开头开得好，一整天都会跟着变顺。

If you start your day right, the rest of the day gets better.

今天早上我花了好几个小时，就专心写东西。

So I spent several hours this morning just writing, just taking time to write.

然后准备出门的时候，我在听一段特别棒的音频，因为我一直在想：怎么才能在媒体领域做得更好？

And then when I was getting ready, I was listening to an amazing audio because I'm focused on what can I do to improve in media?

所以我一直在深入研究这个，不断学习相关的内容。

So I'm obsessing about that and learning about that.

过去，这类信息可能很难获取，或者根本找不到。

In the past, that might have been something that was so hard to access or so hard to get information with.

我把家里每个洗手间都放满了书，堆得满满的。

But I just I set my house up that every bathroom has books, you know, piled up in it.

不管我去哪儿，包里都带着书，到处都是。

You know, I've got every every place I go, they're like in my backpack, I've got books.

比如坐飞机的时候，我总能找到轻松接触阅读内容的方式。我们现在都随身带着手机，里面能装下海量信息，所以我总会提前下载好东西——不管是书、有声书，还是播客或者我参与的节目。

So if I'm on a flight, I just I'm constantly finding easy ways to access what I'm reading, and we're carrying around phones that have so much information on them that I just make sure I always have something downloaded, whether it's a book, an audiobook, or even a podcast or a program I'm part of.

如果你每天早上都这样开始一天的话。

And so if you just start your day that way.

但我建议你让它更具体一点：想想看，哪方面的知识一旦掌握，能对你生活产生最大的改变？

But what I recommend to make it really real is say, alright, what is it that if you learned would make the biggest difference to apply?

所以你不是在泛泛地积累知识，而是在追求有针对性的专精内容。

So you're not just going for generalized knowledge, you're going for specialized knowledge.

这个季度，我听的所有内容都是关于怎么在YouTube和Instagram上提升媒体表现，好让更多人看到我、认识我，因为光有本事不够，还得让人知道你。

So this quarter, everything I'm listening to is how do I improve with media when it comes to YouTube, when it comes to Instagram, so I can get more reach and reputation to serve more people, to be able to be known because it's not just what you know, it's who knows you.

所以我已经把生活这么安排了。

So I've just set my life up like that.

我通常会特别关注那些我花钱买的东西。

I I tend to pay attention to that which I pay for.

所以我请了这方面的教练。

So I've hired coaches in that.

这次通话结束后，我就要去见我的教练，一起过一遍我写的东西，看看怎么改进表达和呈现方式。

I'll be with my coach right after this call, and we're gonna be doing walkthroughs of what I'm writing and and how I can improve my performance and delivery of it.

你花的钱，就值得你认真对待，然后就这么去行动。

So you pay attention to what you pay for, and then just create like this.

我是这么看的。

I I look at it this way.

导师特别重要，因为他们会问你根本想不到的问题。

Like, mentors are so essential to this because they ask them questions you don't ask yourself.

所以，找一个会问你问题的导师。

So have a mentor that asks you the questions.

当你知道自己想要什么时，找个教练明确告诉你该怎么做才能达成目标。

Have a coach when you know what you want that tells you precisely what to do to get that.

然后建立系统和工具来巩固它，比如每天早晨的习惯和仪式，这些都能帮上忙。

Then create the systems and tools to reinforce it, which is all the morning habits and rituals that kinda help you out.

第四，建立问责机制。

And then fourth, create accountability.

这就是为什么花钱买服务能让你更重视它。

That's why paying for it will help you pay attention to it.

因为世界上太多人为了省钱而浪费时间。

Because too many people in the world, what they do is they spend time to save money.

我知道你这种人，是愿意花钱来节省时间的。

I know you're the kind of guy that spends money to save time.

如果你发现自己难以坚持学习，那就得确保你学的东西能实际应用、能看到成效，这样才会更有针对性。

And so if you find yourself not sticking to your education, not sticking to learning, you've gotta make sure it's something that can apply and that you can see results with because that'll make it more specialized.

接下来，你可以用实际行动来证明你的决心，这才是更高阶的问责方式。

And then maybe put your money where your mouth is will be the next level of accountability.

或者找个人一起学习、一起实践，加入一个有监督机制的小组，不管付费还是免费都行——关键是对方也有同样的目标和愿景，这样你就不会孤军奋战，不会在累的时候、遇到挫折时轻易放弃。

Or find someone that you can study with and work with this on in some type of accountability group, whether that's paid for or not paid for because it's someone with a shared vision or a shared goal that they're working on too so that you're not left to your own devices that when you're tired or when somebody doesn't go your way, don't just abandon it.

没错。

Right.

我觉得这里面确实有几条经过验证的有效方法。

Well, I think there's some proven steps in there.

对吧？

Right?

所以我每次跟我的人聊的时候，第一件事就是，迈克，听好了。

So the first thing I always do when I talk to my people is, Mike, listen.

如果你手机里有游戏，直接删掉。

If there's a game on your phone, delete it.

如果YouTube应用还在你手机里，也把它卸了。

If YouTube, the app is on your phone, get rid of it.

坐下。

Sit down.

这是第一步。

So that's step one.

把所有干扰都清掉，别让它们分散你的注意力。

Clear out all the distractions because don't let the distractions distract you.

第二步，别以为时间是最宝贵的资源。

Number two, understanding time is not your most valuable resource.

其实不是。

It is not.

你最该珍惜的是健康，你看那些得了小儿麻痹症的人，被困在铁肺里，时间多得是。

Your health is because there's a bunch of people who had polio who were stuck in those Coke cans who had tons of time.

他们活了八十岁，可连动都动不了。

They lived eighty years, but they couldn't move.

所以，健康才是最重要的。

So health above all else.

所以你要从健康开始。

So you start with health.

没错。

Yep.

你得这么做。

You wanna do that.

太好了。

Love

就是这个。

that.

我很喜欢你把事情分成四个阶段的做法，对吧？

I love how you broke things up into quarters, right?

比如说，这个季度我该专注什么？

Say, okay, this what am I focusing on this quarter?

还有，你提到的‘吃掉那只青蛙’，那本书真不错。

And then also, you know, the conversation of eating the frog, which is a great book.

你最该专注的一两件事是什么？这些事能比其他任何事都更彻底地改变你的生活。

What is the one or two things that you're gonna focus on that will radically change your life more than anything else?

其他所有事都可以放一放。

Everything else can wait.

那这两件事到底是什么？

What are those two things?

就你的情况来说，是社交媒体，因为你的社交圈就是你的资产。

So if your case, it's social media because again, your network is your net worth.

这种说法我们早就听过了。

We've all heard of that.

重要的不是你知道什么，而是你认识谁，更重要的是，你能帮这些人消除什么痛苦。

It's not what you know, it's who you know, and more importantly, it's the pain you can eliminate in those people's lives.

你能消除的痛苦越多，我就跟人说，每次去参加社交活动，我其实特别讨厌这种场合。

The more pain you can eliminate, and I tell people when I go to networking events, I hate networking events.

如果你看到我在某个社交活动上，一定要明白，我根本不是在享受。

If you ever see me at a networking event, please understand I'm not having fun.

所以我通常的做法是当红娘。

So what I normally do is I'm playing matchmaker.

我走过去对你说，加勒特，你眼下需要什么？

I walk up to you and I say, Garrett, what is it that you have?

你得找一个水管工。

You need a plumber.

我会四处转悠，找到一个水管工，然后把他带过来给你。

I'm gonna walk around until I find a plumber and I'm gonna grab some plumber and bring them to you.

这样一来，我就帮人解决了麻烦。

Now I've eliminated a pain.

我也就提供了价值。

Now I've given value.

只要提供了价值，自然会得到回报。

I will be rewarded for value.

所以当你回顾那些你听过的资源和导师时——我完全同意你的看法——过去有哪些内容是你觉得特别值得推荐的？

So when you go through the things that you're listening to and the mentors, which I agree with you wholeheartedly, what are some of the things that you've listened to in the past that you're like, hey, you gotta listen to this?

或者，有位导师特别值得一提。

Or, hey, this is this one mentor.

这是下一步该做的。

This is the next step.

你过去都从哪些经验中学到了东西？

What are some of the lessons that you've done?

是的。

Yeah.

比如，每年我都会重读几本书，像史蒂文·普雷斯菲尔德的《艺术之战》，因为它讲的是当人遇到阻力时，该怎么突破。

Like, there's some some books I revisit every year, like The War of Art by Steven Pressfield because it just talks about, like, when people face resistance, how you get through that resistance.

只要你够机灵、够坚韧，几乎不管从哪儿起步，都能做成几乎任何事，毕竟很多人连基本资源都没有。

Because if you're resourceful and resilient, you can accomplish almost anything almost no matter where you start because a lot of people don't have the every resource.

但你知道，接触过亿万富翁的人都知道，他们总是想着怎么利用别人的时间、能力和资金，从而找到通往目标的路。

But as you know, like spending time around billionaires, they always think in other people's time, other people's ability, and other people's money, so they find a way to get there.

可有些人就说：我没时间。

Or other people go, well, I just I don't have the time.

如果你说没时间，那大概是你没管好时间。

Well, if you don't have the time, you probably aren't managing it properly.

第一，我没钱。

Number one, I don't have the money.

你其实有，只是拿这话当借口，好让自己心安。

You might, but you just say that as a good excuse that lets you off the hook.

或者我没这个能力。

Or I don't have the ability.

那就慢慢培养。

Well, grow into it.

把能力练出来。

Grow into the ability.

我刚开始演讲的时候并不出色。

I wasn't a great speaker when I started.

写作我也不是一开始就会，但我因为重视这件事，投入了时间去练，慢慢就上手了。

I wasn't a great writer when I started, but I grew into it by investing in that because it was something that mattered, and it was something significant to me.

所以我不断练习，身边也有支持我的人。

So I put in the reps, and I had the people that supported me.

所以说，很多时候，我们获取信息不能只是为了获取信息本身。

So that's, you know, that a lot of it is we have to not just get information for information's sake.

有时候，我们以为自己在高效做事，其实只是在逃避真正的任务。

It's not just about like, you know, because sometimes, what we think is productive is just a distraction.

对。

Yes.

我们做这些事，当时确实挺舒服的，但它们真能带我们走向理想的生活吗？

Like we do it, it feels good in the moment, but is it really leading to the life that we love?

还是说，那只是最省事的选择？

Or was it just the easiest thing?

就像你提到的‘先吃掉那只青蛙’，那真的是因为简单才让我们感觉良好吗？

Like you mentioned, eat the frog, was it the easiest thing that made us still feel good?

而当我们学习一项全新的、自己还不具备的技能时，那种感觉是不舒服的。

Versus like when we're creating a new skill that we don't have, that's uncomfortable.

我做这些的时候，有时候真挺烦的。

When I'm doing that, it's like, I'm frustrated sometimes.

我觉得这太糟了。

I'm like, this sucks.

这真让人气愤。

This pisses me off.

我想把这件事做得更好。

I wanna get better at it.

这种情绪其实也是一种动力。

And it's part of the motivation.

搞明白这些过程有时还挺有意思的，因为我会想，哦，这次不是事事都如我所愿了。

And figuring it out is also kind of fun sometimes because I'm like, oh, this I'm not used to not just getting my way.

这么一来，事情就开始慢慢变得清晰了。

What it and it starts to refine that.

这种能力是练出来的。

You build that muscle.

太多人担心自己看起来会怎样、听起来会怎样，万一搞砸了怎么办？

And so too many people are afraid of what will I look like, sound like, what if it doesn't work?

他们整天被各种恐惧和怀疑困扰，最后却找借口，不肯采取行动。

Well, they go through all of these kind of like fears and doubts, and then they make excuses instead of taking action.

其实也没那么重要。

Well, it's not that important.

我不想去干那事儿。

I don't wanna do that.

这事儿对他们来说根本不重要，所以他们总是找理由推脱，而不是真正投入。

This doesn't matter to They they they excuse it away versus commit to it.

兴趣和投入是两回事。

So there's a difference between interest and commitment.

投入就是百分百，要么全心全意，要么干脆不做。

Commitment's a 100% or nothing.

要是我说：兄弟，我今天对这个采访只投入了50%，你肯定觉得我压根儿就不会来吧？

You know, when someone if if I said, dude, I'm 50% committed to this interview today, you'd be like, so you're probably not gonna show up or what?

你要么全力以赴，要么干脆不做。

You You're either a 100% or zero.

我觉得很多人不敢全身心投入，就是怕失败。

I think that a lot of people don't go all in because they're afraid.

万一我拼尽全力，最后还是没成功怎么办？

What if I go all in and it doesn't work?

那是不是说明我这个人不行？

What does that say about me?

但其实，有时候我们只需要调整一下时间线就行了。

But it's like, all we have to do is change the timeline sometimes.

对。

Mhmm.

有时候我们需要对自己宽容一点，告诉自己：再多练几遍吧。

Sometimes we have to give ourselves a little bit of grace and say, I'm gonna put in the extra reps.

昨天我处理一件和媒体有关的事，特别烦心。

And when it doesn't work out, like, I was dealing with something with media yesterday, super frustrated about it.

所以我给萨姆·戈德特打了电话，他是丹·马特尔的创意总监，跟他说：嘿，老兄。

So I just called Sam Gaudette, who's Dan Martell's creative director, and said, hey, dude.

我最近在这事儿上卡住了。

I'm struggling with this.

我们聊了二十分钟，然后他突然说：嘿。

We spent twenty minutes, and then he goes, hey.

你能帮我看看一些财务方面的问题吗？

Can you help me on some financial things?

我说：当然可以。

I said, sure.

我们那次交流特别棒，巧的是，我们都要去圣地亚哥。

So we had this amazing exchange, and it just so happens we're gonna be in San Diego.

所以周日打算一起吃个饭，好好聊聊，互相帮个忙。

So we're gonna have dinner on Sunday and talk to each other and help each other out.

这才叫会利用资源。

That's being resourceful.

这样直接找源头，总比在一堆信息里兜圈子，最后干脆放弃强多了。

That's straight to the source instead of trying to like, you know, filter through a 100 things till you finally give up.

而且我觉得你做得非常好。

Well, also, I think you did really well.

你是知道的。

You know?

我就直说吧，我完成了一本书。

I'm gonna simply say, I completed a book.

我每天都读一本书。

I read a book every single day.

别这么做。

Don't do that.

挑一页内容，把它实践出来。

Take one page and implement it.

别把整本书都读完。

Don't read the whole damn book.

就一页，照着这么做，我就是这么干的。

One page, implement it like this is what I did.

我宁可你一年只读四页，但把这四页吃透，也不愿你每天读一本书。

I'd rather have you just read four pages all year and master those four pages than read a book a day.

我就想问，你到底在做什么？

I'm like, what do you do?

你让那些干扰牵着你的鼻子走。

You're letting the distraction distract you.

还有一点，因为你跟我圈子里的人其实是一样的。

The other thing because you're the other same people that I do in my world.

就是那批人，完全一样。

It's very much the same people.

你说的那些容忍度，你说的那些重点，都很关键。

What you said is your tolerance, what you said is important.

比如有个客户，要是每周赚不到一百万，他就彻底崩溃。

For example, have a client that if he doesn't do a million dollars a week, he freaks out.

他简直要崩溃了。

He just absolutely freaks out.

我坐下来对他说：你给我详细说说怎么回事。

I sat down with him and I was like, walk me through this.

他说：你是不是把手指头砍了？

He's like, you cut your hand off?

我说：怎么可能。

I'm like, absolutely not.

你有没有可能做点什么把自己手砍了？

Is there anything that you could do to cut your hand off?

我说：不可能。

I was like, no.

根本就不存在这种可能。

There's not a single thing.

一点都没有。

No.

没错。

Absolutely.

我当时特别后悔。

And I just had this regret.

他一直凑到我面前，一遍又一遍地逼问我。

And he kept getting in my face and getting in my face.

他说，我对于每周赚不到一百万美元就是这种感觉。

Goes, that's how I feel about not making a million dollars a week.

我必须这样训练自己的大脑：这件事绝对不可能不发生。

That's how I had to train my mind with this as intensity of there's no way in hell that this isn't going to happen.

所以但凡有任何机会找上门来，只要他们说，‘我知道你不想砍掉手。’

So any opportunity that remotely came in to me, if they're like, oh, well, I know you don't want to cut your hand off.

比如说，那至少砍掉小指尖吧。

Like, maybe just the tip of your pinky.

我直接回他，你是不是疯了？

I'm like, what are you out of your mind?

我不会砍掉我的小指。

I'm not cutting off my pinky.

他对赚一百万美元也是这种心态，就是一定要做到，因为他有目标。

It's the same mindset he has towards, I'm going to create a million dollars, period, because he has a goal.

他知道，只要达到某个数字，就能带来相应的现金流，然后就能多陪陪女儿们——这正是他最想要的。

He knows that when he hits a certain amount of numbers, it'll kick out a certain amount of cash flow, and then he gets to spend a bunch of time with his little girls, which is all he wants.

他只想多陪陪女儿们。

He just wants to spend time with his daughters.

所以他觉得，这件事我必须做。

So he's like, I have to do this.

我要么放弃女儿们，要么就达成这个目标。

And either I'm going to abandon my daughters, or I'm gonna hit this goal.

这已经是我唯一的选择。

That's my only choice.

所以他做的每一件事，都会以她们为标准来衡量。

So he he everything he does filters through that filter of them.

其实特别简单。

It just it's really simple.

是的。

Yeah.

我记得2008年的时候，房地产过度杠杆化。

I remember in 2008, you know, over leverage with real estate.

那是十年来生意第一次下滑。

Business went down for the first time in ten years.

之前每年都一直在涨。

It had just been going up every single year.

我认识了约翰尼和米西·巴彻，他们有个叫《人生规划》的项目。

And I met Johnny and Missy Butcher, when I They had a program called LifeBook.

那时候我正忙着第一次巡回签售，他们就说，于是我去了芝加哥，参加了一个四天的活动，做了个测评，一共十二个维度。

And so I'm in the middle of like my first book tour, and you know, and they're like, so I I go to Chicago, go to this four day event, and I take this assessment, and it's in 12 categories.

对吧？

Right?

所以它涵盖了从事业、健康到婚姻等各个方面，一共分成了12个类别。

So everything from like business and health and marriage and all so it goes through these 12 categories.

结果我发现，在这12项里，我的健康和婚姻得分最低。

And my fitness and my marriage were the two lowest scores of the 12.

我当时就想，好吧。

And I was like, alright.

那我再看看其他方面的情况。

Well, let me look at the other areas.

我哪些方面的得分比较高？

Where do I have a high score?

我看了看其他领域，发现我得分最高的那些方面，正好是我平时爱看书的地方。

And I looked at these other areas, I'm like, well and the areas I had the highest score, I was reading books.

我也经常参加一些群体活动，还有导师帮我理清思路。

I was in groups of people, and even had mentors that like helped me focus.

你知道的，为了这些方面，我还专门花了不少钱。

You know, I was paying money towards those things.

我就决定，我要在婚姻里也这么做。

I said, I'm gonna start doing this in my marriage.

所以我总结出一个方法：只要你想要达成目标，就一定有办法加速实现。

So I I basically had this formula that if anything that you want to achieve, there's a way to accelerate your way there.

对吧？

Right?

第一步，是找出你的成功模式。

And so the first part is you figure out your success formula.

看看你生活中哪些方面做得好，然后想想：那些成功的做法，是不是在表现不佳的领域里被忽略了？

You look at any area of your life that's working and say, what am I doing there that is missing in an area that's not working as well?

于是，在婚姻方面，我联系了三对夫妻，跟他们说：你们的婚姻太棒了。

So in my marriage, I went and I called three of three couples that I was like, you guys have amazing marriages.

我们能不能约个时间，让我和我妻子来采访你们？因为我们想把婚姻经营得更好。

Why don't we get together where my wife and I can interview you because we wanna, you know, we wanna do better.

后来我了解到他们每周都有约会之夜，我就觉得：这主意不错。

And then I and when I found out they were doing date nights, I'm like, cool.

我打算每周都安排约会之夜。

I'm gonna start planning date nights every single week.

他们定期开会，聊聊各自的愿景、近况，还有孩子的细节和生活进展。

They did regular meetings where they talked about their vision and what they're up to and also the details and what's happening with the kids.

所以我们安排了，他们说要把彼此放在孩子前面。

So we scheduled they said put each other first over the kids.

是的。

Yeah.

要把对方放在第一位，我妻子听了他们这么说才真正听进去。

You put each other and my wife's like, needed to hear it from them.

请人帮忙。

Hire support.

别什么事都自己扛。

Don't do everything yourself.

于是我请了一位兼职保姆。

So I got us a part time nanny.

而且说实话，我们不仅得把这些都看在眼里，还得真正去落实。因为我们亲眼看到了那些人的状态。顺便提一下，如果谁正处在婚姻特别糟糕的阶段，我会选择暂时离开，给自己放个假。

And man, just like we got to see all of that, and then we got to implement it because we saw people and and by the way, anyone that was going through really bad parts of their marriage, for six months, I decided I'd take a break.

我会刻意避开他们，因为我只想和那些拥有卓越关系的人在一起。我当时正努力把自己的关系从平庸提升到卓越。

I wouldn't be around them because I only wanna be people in extraordinary relationships as I was trying to take my relationship from mediocre to extraordinary.

接着，我把目光转向了自己的事业。

So I then looked at my business.

我心想，得给事业定个清晰的愿景。

I said, look, have a vision in my business.

为什么我在婚姻里没有明确的目标呢？

Why don't I have a vision in my marriage?

所以我给自己定下了一个目标，就是要做一个浪漫又出色的好丈夫。

So I created a vision for my marriage to be a premier romantic, extraordinary husband.

我就在想，既然事业上有价值观，婚姻里为什么不能也有呢？

I had values in my I'm like, why not have values in my marriage?

所以我就照着这个思路去做了。

So I just did that.

健身方面我也照着这么做了。

And then the same thing with my fitness.

我想好了，既然要变得更健康，那就请人每天上门陪我锻炼。

I said, alright, if I'm gonna be more fit, I'm gonna pay someone to show up to my house every day, and we're gonna work out.

我每个月还会约上我认识的最健康的人聚一次。

I'm gonna get together with the fit fittest people I know once a month.

他们平时都怎么做的？有什么好方法？

What are the best practices they're doing?

于是我总结出了这套成功的方法。

So I had that success formula.

现在我把这套方法用在了所有事情上。

Now I use it in everything.

每当我想要达成什么目标，我就会问自己：谁是我的搭档？

I go, anytime I want something, I'm like, who's my co creator?

谁会支持我、激励我，给我责任，帮我保持积极，持续前进？

Who will support and inspire me, bring me accountability, and make sure that I stay in abundance and move forward?

第二，我得放弃哪些逃避方式？

Number two, what escapism would I have to eliminate?

有什么借口或理由，让我没法专心做该做的事？

What thing is an excuse or reason that would prevent me from doing what I do?

因为你说得对，我得提高标准，别再退回那些舒服但其实没必要的事情，哪怕我还能给自己找理由，说这挺有道理，或者挺有效率。

Because that's what you're saying, I gotta raise my standards so that I don't go back to something that's comfortable, even like that I might justify as well, I needed to do it or it was productive.

很多人根本不是在做有用的事。

Or a lot of people, it's not even productive.

就是刷剧啊，或者第八次打扫根本不需要打扫的车库，诸如此类的事。

It's just, you know, binging TV or it's cleaning the garage for the eighth time that didn't need to be cleaned or whatever it is.

这纯粹就是个借口。

It's like this excuse.

第三，我学会了分配角色，而不是具体任务。

Then the third thing is I learned to delegate roles, not tasks.

角色能减少微观管理，有人全权负责这个角色，我就能腾出时间和精力。

Roles remove the micromanagement and someone owns that role so I can free up my time and my mind.

最后，我进入了协作的阶段。

And then finally, I get into a place of collaboration.

如果我要做一件世界级的事，该找哪些人合作？他们具备我所缺乏的技能。

Who are the people that if I'm gonna do something world class, I could bring in that bring skill sets that I don't have?

所以，这就是共同创造、剔除、委派和协作。

And so it's co create, eliminate, delegate, and collaborate.

这就是加速的路径。

That's the acceleration path.

这不仅仅是读书的问题。

And so it's not just about reading.

而是你让谁走进你的生活。

It's about who you bring into your life.

关键在于你落实了什么，以及怎么落实的。

It's about what you're implementing and how you implement it.

还要让别人认同你的愿景，让他们也充满热情。

It's about enrolling other people in the vision so they're excited about it too.

对我来说，单纯为了学技能而学技能，远不如拥有一个让人想投身其中的愿景来得有力。

And to me, just getting a skill for the sake of getting a skill is not as powerful as having a vision that's so compelling that other people wanna work in it.

是的。

Yeah.

你说得太好了。

I love what you said.

你知道，有这么一个人，这一点很重要。

You know, someone, and that's important.

我把这两者分开了：有人负责一个角色。

I'm separating those two Someone owns a role.

一个具体的人负责这个角色，对结果负全责。

One individual person owns the role, owns the outcome.

必须是唯一一个人，不然事情准会推来推去。

It's got to be one person because if not, they're always going to flack off.

我有一条原则，但很多人很难理解，那就是怎么接触到这些关键人物。

So one of the things that I have that that's really hard for people to understand is getting access to these individuals.

如果你处在一种情况里，觉得‘嗯，这对你们俩来说真不错’。

If you're a situation where you're like, okay, that's great for the two of you.

你们俩认识这些人。

You guys know these people.

这真的挺让人羡慕的。

That's that's just really adorable.

你们俩这俩家伙，就是啊。

You two a holes are just yeah.

你们经常一起玩。

You hang out.

那对于那些没有这种关系的人，你又算什么呢？

What are you if that individual who doesn't have that?

你该怎么让自己进入这个圈子呢？

How do you start putting yourself into that circle?

你对那些人有什么建议？

What would you recommend to those guys?

当我还没有这样的圈子时，我会主动去找那些我想认识的人。

So when I didn't have that circle, what I would do is I would always look for people that I wanted to know.

如果我认识的人认识他们，我总会通过熟人引荐，而不是直接去搭讪。

And if I knew someone that knew them, I always got introduced to them versus just approach them.

所以这是一种方法。

So if that's one strategy.

第二种方法是，我会尽量为他们提供价值，借此建立联系。

The second is I would just look to add as much value as possible to them to get to know them.

我二十出头的时候当过战略教练。

So I I was in strategic coach in my early twenties.

我一直在听丹·苏利文的音频，直到当教练几年后，才第一次见到他。

I've been listening to these audios with Dan Sullivan, and I finally meet him the first day that like, I've been in coach for a couple years.

那天我在洗手间，他就站在我旁边的尿池边。

I'm in the bathroom, and he's in the urinal next to me.

我就想，好吧，等我们一起洗手的时候再说话。

So I'm like, okay, I'll wait till we wash our hands.

我们就过去，跟他说：嘿，我想找个机会跟你一起吃个午饭，认识一下。

We go there and I go, hey, I'd like to get a chance to have lunch or meet you.

他答应说：好啊，来我家吃午饭吧。

He was like, yeah, come over and have lunch.

结果我去吃午饭的时候，他身边围着好多人，根本没机会聊上。

So I go to have lunch, and he's surrounded by people, so it doesn't happen.

但我一向很有办法。

But again, I'm resourceful.

于是我直接打了总部的电话。

So I call the home office.

我说：嘿，我本来约了和丹一起吃午饭，结果没成。

I say, hey, was supposed to have lunch with Dan.

事情没办成。

It didn't work out.

下次我再去芝加哥的时候，他还在那儿讲课吗？那时候能约个午饭吗？

Next time I'm in Chicago, is he gonna be teaching and could I maybe have lunch then?

他们说，如果你能提前一天来。

They said, if you can come in a day early.

我说，没问题。

I said, you bet.

于是我提前一天到了，和他还有他妻子聊天的时候，我就在想，得弄清楚他们真正看重什么，是什么驱动着他们。

So I come in a day early, and the whole conversation with him and his wife, I was going, I wanna find out what makes them tick, what's important to them.

我想能真正帮上他们，让这次见面让人印象深刻。

I wanna be able to add value to them and make this memorable.

所以一开始谈话我就明白了，他们特别看重转介绍。

So I got really clear early in that meeting, they want they love referrals.

他们会追踪每一个转介绍。

They track referrals.

清楚知道是谁带来的介绍，以及这些介绍带来了什么影响。

They see who's made the referrals and what impact that is.

于是我直接跟他们说，不如每六周办一次活动。

And so I just told them, I said, hey, host an event like every six weeks.

我特别希望你们的一位教练能来活动现场做个分享，我们可以顺便向大家介绍一下战略教练这个项目。

I'd love to just have one of your coaches come and speak at it, we'll tell them about strategic coach.

现场来了170个人，很多人当场就报名了。

170 people are at the event, tons of people sign up.

就这么一下子，我和他们建立了联系。

All of a sudden, I've got that relationship.

那时候我才二十出头。

I was in my early twenties.

那时候我一年还没赚到一百万美元，但我一直在找能为他们带来价值的方式。

I hadn't even made a million dollars in a year yet, but I looked for ways to add value.

我总在琢磨怎么搭起这座桥，怎么建立真正的关系，所以我一直都在想：我能为他们做点什么？

I looked for ways to build that bridge and that relationship, and so that's what I do at all times is I look at how can I deliver for them?

有时候人家请我去演讲，等我上台的时候，我已经跟主办方聊过，帮他省了不少税。

I mean, sometimes I'm asked to speak at an event, and by the time I go on stage, I've hopefully talked to the person hosting the event and saved him so much tax.

他们简直不敢相信。

They're like, oh my god.

我刚和加勒特聊了一趟。

Like, I just had a conversation with Garrett.

他告诉我三件事，我完全没听说过。

He just told me three things I had no clue about.

这能帮我省下一百来块。

It's gonna save me like a $100.

我不能等他亲自跟你们说吗？

Can't I wait for him to speak to you guys.

我还有好多问题想问他呢。

I even have more questions for him.

所以我一直想着，要想让人记住你，就得多付出价值，多想想能为对方做点什么，而不是总想着从对方那儿得到什么。

So I'm always looking like, you wanna build a relationship, to be memorable is to add a ton of value, to really figure out how I could do something for them instead of look to get something from them.

我总是先做这些投入。

I make those deposits first.

我同意。

I agree.

而且我觉得，人们也得明白，你可能接触不到托尼·罗宾斯，但你身边一定有像蒂米·罗宾斯这样的人，或者你生态圈里其他级别没那么高的人。

And I think it's also important for people to understand, like, you might not have access to Tony Robbins, but you could have access to Timmy Robbins or someone else that's lower down in your ecosystem.

那时候练习就在那儿。

Practice was then there.

就在那儿多练练。

Do your reps there.

继续往前走。

Keep going.

你身边总有人，哪怕只是街角那个小生意人，他们的经验或智慧也比你多。

There's always someone in your world, even if it's just the local small business owner down the street who's got more experience or has wisdom that you don't have.

别因为他们不是网红就轻视他们。

Don't dismiss them because they're not an influencer.

关键是帮他们解决痛点。

Make sure you're eliminating their pain.

我很快学到的一点就是，百万富翁和亿万富翁之间的区别。

It's one of things I learned really quickly is the difference between millionaires and billionaires.

你知道吗，百万富翁问的是‘你做什么？’

You know, millionaires ask what do you do?

亿万富翁问的是‘我能为你做点什么？’

Billionaires ask what can I do for you?

关键就在于服务他人，始终提供价值。

And it's always this of being in service, always providing value.

我该怎么在最高层次上做到这一点？

How do I do that on on the highest level?

再说一遍，其实特别简单。

Just make if you again, it's real simple.

只要你能帮别人解决痛苦，就一定会得到回报。

If you can eliminate someone else's pain, that you will get rewarded.

这就是你一生的使命。

That's your job in life.

消除别人的痛苦。

Eliminate people's pain.

所以啊。

So Yeah.

你遇到过哪些最大的挑战？后来是怎么走出来的？

What are some of the biggest challenges you've run into, and how did you get yourself out of it?

你提到过约会之夜，我这二十年来一直辅导夫妻关系，你们当中不少人应该都懂。

You know, you talked about, you know, date night, which anybody of you guys who because I've had to coach couples for twenty years.

不管多累，哪怕新生儿快把你逼疯了，也得每天安排约会时间——哪怕只是开车兜个风，停在路边，挨着睡上一小时也行。

Guys, just date night every single night, even if that means I'm exhausted and my newborn's driving me out of my mind, just drive down the street, sit in the car, take a nap in the car next to each other for an hour.

不管怎么做，一定要把它当成铁律，不能妥协。

Whatever it is, just make it a non negotiable.

你遇到过哪些问题？

What are some of problems that you've run into?

对。

Yeah.

我们刚有小孩的时候，每周三或者周一晚上，会请个人来帮忙照看，时间就这么固定下来了。

When we have young kids and you know, we ended up having just someone that would come every Wednesday night or Monday night, depending on the week, and now we had that carved out.

对吧？

Right?

没错。

And then Mhmm.

那时候孩子还小，我租了个公寓，专门当我们的约会小天地，去那儿的时候我们就自己做饭。

I I got an apartment that was just our date night pad that we would have for a while, because when the kids were young, and we would go there, we would cook.

有一次我们干脆就去那儿睡了个觉。

One time we just went and literally took a nap.

我们实在太累了。

We were like so tired.

我们就说，算了，直接睡一觉吧。

We're like, hey, we're just gonna go take a nap.

你不一定非得有钱才能做这种事，但我现在用AI来描述我妻子的很多细节。

You don't have to have the money to maybe do that kind of stuff, but what you could do, like I've used AI now to describe so much about my wife.

我会花二十分钟写一个提示词，它给我推荐的母亲节或约会活动简直太棒了，因为它会搜遍我周围一定范围内的所有选项，告诉我有哪些选择。

I'll spend twenty minutes on a prompt, and what it tells me to do for like mother's day or date night is amazing because it's crawling everything in my area within a certain radius and saying, here's all the different things you can do.

根本没什么可借口的。

There's just no excuses.

我总是问朋友，你们平时都怎么做的？

I always ask my friends, what are your best practices?

你们都做过些什么？

What's the what are the things you've done?

最棒的约会是什么样的？

What's the coolest date night?

最浪漫的事是什么？

What's the most romantic thing?

就是这种级别的用心。

So that's, you know, that's that level.

我觉得很多创业者都会对配偶说，我这么拼是为了你。

And I and I think that a lot of entrepreneurs lie to their spouse and say, I'm doing this for you.

我们总这么说。

We say that.

你不是。

You're not.

但我们这么做是为了自己。

But we're doing it for us.

创业就像一种创伤反应，我们总在试图填补内心的那个疑问：我够好吗？

Entrepreneurship's kinda like a trauma response, and we're trying to fill this void of like, are we good enough yet?

我值得被爱吗？

Are we lovable enough?

你为我们感到骄傲吗？

Are we proud are you proud of us enough?

你足够尊重我们吗？

Do you respect us enough?

我记得我妻子给我打电话说，我真的没指望过这样。

And and so I remember my wife called me up and saying, I just, like, I didn't ask for this.

我想要的只是你。

I asked for you.

我的意思是，非得我卖点东西，才能多陪陪你吗？

Like, do we have to sell some stuff for me to get more time with you?

我当时就觉得，我得少点什么才行，根本没想过自己能拥有一切。

And I was like, I just need to like be less I just didn't have the mindset at the time to think I could have it all.

我总觉得，想要得到一样东西，就得放弃另一样，但其实并不是这样。

I kinda thought, well, you have to give up one thing to get another, and that's not necessarily true.

真正的问题在于，你不会放手，或者你心里认定就只有这一种活法，又或者你根本离不开这种没有界限的状态。

It's just when you're bad at delegating, or when you have a belief system that doesn't believe there's another way to do it, or you're maybe addicted to, you know, there's no boundaries.

是啊。

So yeah.

我觉得创业中最难的，其实是合伙人之间的关系。

I mean, I think the biggest problem is partnerships is where the the biggest struggle is in business.

对。

Right.

我觉得这其实是个等式问题。

I I think what is an equation.

对吧？

Right?

每个人都被灌输过这么一个想法：只要我做到这一点，我就够好了。

There's everyone has been taught this equation that if I do this, I'll be enough.

只要我够好了，我就配得上被爱。

And if I'm enough, I'll be worthy of love.

但这个等式本身根本就是错的。

And that equation in itself is broken.

想想你在这个世界上最爱的那个人，你问问自己：他得做什么才配得上你的爱？

If you think about the person you love the most in this world and you say, what does that person have to do to be worthy of my love?

答案是什么都不用做。

The answer is nothing.

那如果你把这个等式用在自己身上——我要怎样才配得上被爱？

So then if you finish the equation, which is what do I have to be worthy of love?

答案也是一样：什么也不用做。

The answer is also nothing.

当你明白这一点，就会找到内心的平静。

When you realize that, you will find peace.

但我们一直陷在这样一个循环里：只要我赚得够多、长得够好看、开的车够快，诸如此类，我就能够好了，然后才配得上被爱。

But we're trapped in this loop of if I make enough and pretty enough and drive a fast enough car, blah blah blah blah, then I'll be enough, and then I'll be maybe worthy of love.

这个等式本身根本就是错的，要让人摆脱它，实在太难了。

That equation by itself is just broken, and getting people out of that is so hard.

是啊。

Right?

说来好笑，我去年2024年练得特别瘦，你猜谁最佩服我？

It's like it's it's so it's so funny because I got just so shredded in 2024, and you know who it really impressed?

男人。

Dudes.

男人们最爱看男的了。

Dudes love the dudes.

我老婆说，你这身材也太硬了。

My wife was like, I think you're too rock hard.

你太瘦了。

It's like, you're too skinny.

说实话，抱起来没那么舒服了。

Like, I like what like, you're not as fun to cuddle with.

你懂的。

You know?

我们很多时候做的事，其实根本不是为了自己，而是为了给别人留下印象。

So it's like, here we are a lot of times doing stuff to impress other people, not even what we say we're doing.

所以问题来了，我们什么时候才算足够好？

So it's just kinda this when are we enough?

这真是个问题。

That's a question.

我们什么时候才能真正爱自己？

When can we love ourselves?

我出生的时候，没人给我一张清晰的路线图，告诉我该怎么爱自己。

I didn't really get a good roadmap when I was born of like, here's how you love yourself.

没错。

Right.

我一直对自己特别苛刻。

I've been Well, think I've super judgmental of myself.

我对自己太严厉了。

I've been like super harsh.

我常常先原谅所有人，却迟迟不原谅自己。

I've forgiven everyone before I forgive myself quite often.

完全同意。

A thousand percent.

完全同意。

A thousand percent.

我们总想用各种方式去填补这种空缺，但人们并不理解，作为创业者，我总是跟别人说，我不喝酒。

And we try and fill it up with different forms because people don't understand that being an entrepreneur, I always tell people, I don't drink.

我从来就不喝。

I never have.

我最多只能喝三口，再多就不行了。

It's just I can't have more than three sips.

一喝下去马上就吐出来。

It comes right back out.

但我跟别人说，这就像戒酒互助会一样。

But I tell people it's kind of like AA.

你站起来说：嗨，我是个创业者。

You stand up like, hi, I'm an entrepreneur.

我分不清个人生活和事业生活有什么区别。

I don't know the difference from my personal life and my business life.

他们就说：哦，对对对。

They're like, oh, yes.

你好。

Hello.

你好。

Hello.

你好。

Hello.

欢迎。

Welcome.

因为我们就是做不到。

Because we just don't.

我们就是埋头苦干，然后突然反应过来，哎等等。

We're just we grind and we're just like, oh, wait.

我可以告诉你，我出去约会的时候，坐在那里过二人世界，

And I can tell you, I've been on dates and I've been sitting on a date night.

脑子里却突然冒出个点子，想着我的漏斗、我的用户，结果对面的人看着我问：你这是在干嘛？

I'm, oh, I just had this idea until my funnel and people and I've watched the person I'm dating be like, what are you doing?

我说，我停不下来。

I'm like, I can't turn it off.

我这人就是这么想问题的。

It's just how my brain works.

事情就是这样，没办法。

It's just it is what it is.

所以当你在经历这些的时候，回头想想，咱们平时随身带着的那些东西，到底有哪些呢？

So as you're going through this, you know, going back to, you know, what are some of the you know, we have everyday carries.

我们一直在聊这个话题。

We're talking about this all the time.

比如在军队里，每个人都有自己的日常装备。

Like, hey, this is in the military, you have your everyday carry.

你带着枪。

You've got the guns.

你带着这些东西。

You got this.

你生活在这样的环境里，日复一日，哪些东西对你来说才是真正最有用的？

What are the everyday things you do in your life because you've been around this environment of things that are like, you know what?

这些经历给了我人生中最大的价值。

This has given me the most value in my life.

你之前提到过写日记。

You talked about journaling earlier.

有哪些事情彻底改变了你做事的方式？

What are some of the things that has radically changed your life on how you do things?

是的。

Yeah.

我用的一个日记方法，是我一位教练教我的，叫LAF，也就是‘爱、接纳、原谅’。

There's a journaling process I use that was taught to me by one of my coaches called the LAF, love except forgive.

我昨天刚用过。

So I did this yesterday.

因为早上醒来，我心情特别烦躁，觉得有点不对劲。

Because I just woke up, and I was I was in some angst, I was like, man, this is weird.

平时我一睁眼就想写日记、去锻炼。

You know, I just I normally get up, I wanna write, I wanna work out.

但那天我哪一样都不想做。

I didn't wanna do any of those things.

所以我把它拿出来了。

So I just pulled it out.

就在这儿。

It's just right here.

我又把它拿了出来。

I just I just pulled it out.

心想，行吧。

Was like, alright.

咱们来做个练习。

We're gonna do this exercise.

我问自己，我到底在保护什么、防御什么，又想控制什么？

And I was like, what am I protecting, defending, and trying to control?

这是我写下的第一件事。

That's the first thing I write down.

对吧？

Right?

所以我就会仔细想想，自己当时到底在做什么。

So I go through that, just kinda brainstorm what I'm doing there.

然后我会问自己：我能接受并承认，自己在保护、防御或试图控制哪些部分呢？

Then it's like, alright, what can I accept and acknowledge that I'm protecting and defending or trying to control in myself?

那我能在哪儿承担起责任呢？

And so where can I take responsibility?

哪些事情我可以坦诚地承认，当作一种自我坦白？

And what can I confess essentially as a confession?

接着我会想：我为什么要保护、防御，或者试图控制自己或别人？

Then it's like, well, why am I protecting, defending, and trying to control myself or someone else?

我是害怕感到内疚、羞愧，还是恐惧？

Am I afraid of feeling guilt, shame, or fear?

所以我会一步步地梳理清楚。

Like, so I'll go through.

我害怕失去什么呢？

What am I afraid of losing?

我需要原谅的是什么？

What is it that I've gotta forgive?

然后，我能不能转向爱自己，接纳当下的一切？

And then can I move into loving myself and just loving what is?

接下来，我要看看自己在憎恨什么、回避什么、评判什么，或者觉得什么是错的。

And then from there, I just go through what am I hating, shun what do I hate, shun, judge, like, make, or or make wrong?

接着去接纳这些、原谅这些、爱这些，然后深入认识真实的自己。

And then go through this accepting that, forgiving that, loving that, and then going through the truth of who I am.

我知道，只有我自己能看到这些，但这么做能帮我理解这些情绪，让它们流动起来，而不是躲开、忽视、假装它们不存在，或者压抑它们。

So just, you know, I'm the only one that ever sees it, but it helps me understand those emotions and move them versus hide from them or ignore them or pretend they don't exist or bottle them up.

我就只是一个个去面对它们。

It's like, no, I'm just gonna go through them.

到了晚上，感觉这一天过得很充实。

And by the end of the day, had an amazing day.

它还让我更主动地去思考：我到底在烦什么，我能做点什么，而不是被它困住。

And it also got me to be more resourceful to figure out what I was frustrated with, just being like, oh, what can I do about it versus being like held captive to it?

所以我多年来一直在做这个练习，就是一步步走过来。

So that's an exercise I've been doing for years is going through that.

真的特别有帮助。

It's been super helpful.

我每天早上都会写五分钟日记，也用一个效率规划本。

I do a five minute journal every morning, and I use a productivity planner.

我不太确定。

I don't know.

你见过五分钟日记本吗？

Have you seen a five minute journal?

我一直在用这个。

I use those.

我就在这儿拿着呢。

It's just I I got it right here.

五分钟日记其实就是问几个问题，比如：你今天感恩的三件事是什么？

I mean, the five minute journal, I actually did it's it's just asks a couple questions like, what what are three things you're grateful for?

对。

Mhmm.

所以我每天早上第一件事就是问自己：我今天感恩的三件事是什么？

So I start the morning with what are three things I'm grateful for?

怎样才能让今天变得特别棒？

What would make today great?

再列出三件事。

Three more things.

然后是每日积极肯定。

And then daily affirmation.

把它们写下来就行。

Just write that down.

接着我早上还会回顾前一天的亮点。

And then I do the highlight of the previous day in the morning.

就是想想，前一天最重要的三个亮点是什么？我从那天学到了什么？

And so it's like, what are the three biggest highlights and what did I learn from that day?

然后我就把这些东西放在桑拿房里。

And then I've just, I've got these sitting in the sauna.

我也会把它们放在我的车里。

I've got them sitting in my truck.

我就放在这抽屉里。

I've got them right here in the drawer.

所以这事儿做起来特别方便。

So it's just something I can easily do.

我刚才跟朋友迈克尔一起锻炼，他看见了就问：‘你在这儿干嘛呢？’

And I was working out with my buddy Michael right before this and he was like, oh, what are you doing there?

因为我刚晒完太阳，就开始写东西。

Because I just got in the sun and started writing.

我就跟他说，这是我的五分钟日记，就是花点时间好好感受自己拥有的，也明确一下今天的目标。

I'm like, oh, this is just my my five minute journal to just take time to appreciate what I have, and have an intention about what I'm doing.

然后就是我的效率计划本，对。

And then the productivity planner is Mhmm.

我可以写下当天的优先事项，然后用番茄工作法。

Where I can just write down what my priorities are for the day, and then I use the Pomodoro method.

对吧？

Right?

就是设个25分钟的闹钟，专心做事，然后休息一下，再回来继续。

Where you just go, like, set an alarm for twenty five minutes, work on it, take a break, come back to it.

这样真的挺舒服的。

So it just is really nice.

每填满一个格子，就会有点小成就感，至少我是这样，这能帮我更好地准备接下来要做的事。

You get those little endorphins every time you fill out one of the circles, or I do, and it just kinda helps me, you know, prepare what I'm up to.

这些确实是我每天都会用到的一些方法或习惯。

So those are those are definitely some daily uses that I have or those things.

我每周也锻炼五到六天。

I I work out five, six days a week as well.

我总是挂在单杠上，然后把头浸到冰水里，再进桑拿房。

I always hang from a bar, dip my head in a cold plunge, hit the sauna.

其实我大部分时间也做这些常规的事。

You know, I do that kind of standard stuff for the most part as well.

有时候如果状态好，我也会冥想。

And if it's a good if like, some days I meditate.

不过我冥想得不太稳定。

I'm not as consistent with meditation.

你知道的。

You know?

有时候我做得挺好的。

Some days I'm good at it.

有时候我就想，算了。

Some days I just go, alright.

我干脆起来听点东西、动一动，因为一坐下来冥想，脑子里就乱糟糟的。

I'm gonna get up and listen to something and move because this meditation, I'm to in my head.

对。

Right.

我觉得，每个人做这件事的时间点，其实都是凭直觉决定的。

Well, I I think what, you know, when you do it matters instinctively for each individual.

比如我，每天晚上临睡前会做一种我叫感恩祷告的事，它能让我大脑放松下来，把一天的杂念都清掉。我就躺在那儿，慢慢想。

For example, I do what I call gratitude prayer at the end of the night because it allowed my brain to relax and to kinda spit the bit, which I'll sit there before I go to bed.

嗯，想想看。

I'm like, okay.

今天我真正该感谢的是什么？

What am I really grateful for today?

到底是什么呢？

What is it?

因为你一旦进入感恩的状态，就很难再焦虑、低落或者慌乱了。

Because it's hard to be anxious or down or freaking out when you're in a place of gratitude.

这根本没法回避。

There's just no way around it.

大脑没法同时处理这两种状态，效率上根本做不到。

Your brain can't do both at the same time, just not that efficient.