冒充者综合征并没有阻碍你：它证明你在升级

嗨，大家好。

Hi, guys.

欢迎回到《与Roxie一起成长》，每周我们都会回答一个有力的问题。

Welcome back to Rise with Roxie, where each week we answer one powerful question.

今天我们要聊的是冒名顶替综合症。

And today, we are talking about imposter syndrome.

我会深入剖析它背后的心理机制，为什么它这么普遍，以及你实际上能做些什么，而不是假装自己很自信。

And I'm going to really unpack what's happening psychologically, why it's so common, and what you can actually do about it without pretending you're confident when you're not.

我觉得冒名顶替综合症是很多人都经历过的事情。

I feel like imposter syndrome is something that so many people experience.

我经常被问到这个问题。

I get asked about it a lot.

所以我很期待和大家一起深入探讨这一集。

So I'm really excited to dive into this episode with you.

但在开始之前，我想简单说一句：如果你现在正在经历冒名顶替综合症，那很可能是因为你即将迎来人生中更重要的篇章，一个比以往更好、更广阔的篇章。

But before we do, I just quickly want to say if imposter syndrome is something that you're navigating right now, then it's probably because you are about to navigate a bigger chapter of your life, something better and more expansive than ever.

我想帮你解决这个问题。

And I want to help you with that.

这正是我在现场演出中要做的事情。

And this is exactly what we are going to do at my live shows.

《Manifest Live》和《Confidence Live》不只是演讲。

Manifest Live and Confidence Live aren't just talks.

它们是沉浸式的体验，你将在现场实时练习迈入下一个阶段。

They are immersive experiences where you are going to practice stepping into that next level in real time.

所以，如果这期节目让你有共鸣，欢迎亲自来体验。

So if this episode resonates with you, come and experience it in person.

和一群与你一起成长的人共处一室，那种感觉真的无可替代。

There is truly nothing like being in a room full of people who are expanding alongside you.

演出将于5月9日和10日在标志性的亚历山德拉宫举行，你可以参加其中任意一场，无论是Manifest还是Confidence，也可以两场都参加，使用代码Roxie WKN 20可享受20%的折扣。

The shows are at the iconic Alexandra Palace on May ninth and tenth, and you can attend either one of the shows, either Manifest or Confidence, or you can attend both shows and get 20% off using code Roxie WKN 20.

我真的很兴奋。

I'm so excited.

这是我一年中最喜欢的活动。

It's my favorite event of the entire year.

已经有成千上万的人参加过，现在轮到你了。

Thousands of people have done them before, and now it's your turn.

所以现在就预订你的位置吧。

So book your spot now.

好的。

Okay.

让我们进入今天的节目。

Let's get into today's episode.

其实，冒充者综合征比大多数人想象的要普遍得多。

So imposter syndrome is a lot more widespread than most people actually realize.

研究表明，大约百分之七十到八十的人会在人生的某个阶段经历冒充者的感觉。

And studies suggest that around seventy to eighty percent of people will experience imposter feelings at some point in their lives.

这包括高成就者、创意工作者、企业家、领导者，所有专业人士在某个阶段都曾想过：我不属于这里，或者他们会发现我的真面目。

And that includes high achievers, creatives, entrepreneurs, leaders, all professionals at some stage have thought to themselves, don't belong here or they're going to find me out.

我深入研究了一下，也看了看那些可能激励过我的人，他们也有过这种经历。

And I was really looking into this and looking at kind of like different people that maybe I've been inspired by who've experienced this.

玛雅·安杰卢就承认过，尽管写了好几本书，她还是担心有人会发现她其实是在跟大家开玩笑。

And Maya Angelou, she admitted that despite writing multiple books, she still feared someone would discover she had run a game with everyone.

汤姆·汉克斯也说过，他有时候觉得自己是误闯了片场，不太配待在那里，考虑到他是我们这个时代的大人物之一，这真的挺疯狂的。

And Tom Hanks said that he, Suntyce, feels he's wandered onto a film set and doesn't quite deserve to be there, which is mad given he is like one of the greats of our time.

就连米歇尔·奥巴马也公开谈过，她曾怀疑自己是否配得上她担任的职位。

And even Michelle Obama has openly spoken about questioning whether she was good enough at the positions she stepped into.

所以这些人，他们不是那种你会觉得会突然自我怀疑或缺乏安全感的新手。

And so these people, they're not sort of these beginners where you would expect them to experience this sudden kind of level of self doubt or insecurity.

他们是全球尊敬的人物。

These are globally respected people.

所以，那种觉得自己不够好的感觉，并不能证明你真的不够格。

And so the feeling itself of being, like, not enough is not proof of inadequacy.

这是每个人都会经历的，无论他们处于什么水平。

It's something that everybody experiences no matter the level they are at.

所以这就是首先要记住的一点。

And so that's kind of like the first thing to just remember.

那种觉得自己是冒牌货的感觉，那种觉得自己不属于这里或者觉得自己会被揭穿的感觉，并不是能力不足的证据。

The feeling of being an imposter, the feeling of not belonging or thinking you're gonna get found out is not proof of inadequacy.

冒充者综合征真正背后的原因，心理学家可能会称之为“身份滞后”。

What's really happening with imposter syndrome is something that psychologists might call an identity lag.

身份滞后就是你的外部环境已经扩展了，但你的内在身份还没有完全跟上。

So an identity lag is when your external environment has expanded, but your internal identity hasn't fully caught up.

好的。

Okay.

让我再说一遍。

Let me just say that again.

如果你的外部环境已经扩展了，比如你的生活因为搬家、换了新工作、收入水平提升、曝光度增加、或者关系动态变化而发生了改变。

So if your external environment has expanded, so maybe your life has changed because you've moved house, you've got a new job role, you have a new income bracket, you have a new level of visibility, you have a new relationship dynamic.

所以你的外部生活已经改变了，在某种程度上提升了，但你对自己的看法其实还停留在过去的那个你，那个之前的你。

So your life externally has changed, has leveled up in some way, but the way that you see yourself is actually still anchored to an older version of you, a version of you from before.

说到这个，我想到自己生活中很多次经历过这种情况，就是虽然外面的事情看起来真的很不一样，但我自己还没跟上。

Now, as I'm saying that, I can think of so many times where I've experienced that in my own life where actually, even though things on the outside felt really different, I just hadn't caught up as person.

我相信很多听众听到这里也会觉得，对，我完全能感同身受。

And I'm sure lots of you listening are like, yeah, I can absolutely relate to that as well.

当这两者不一致的时候，你的大脑基本上就会产生认知失调。

And when those two don't align, your brain basically experiences cognitive dissonance.

我们在之前的单口节目里也聊过，认知失调就是当你的信念和现实不匹配时产生的那种不适感。

And we've spoken about this before in these solo episodes that cognitive dissonance is the discomfort that arises when your beliefs and your reality don't match.

所以，如果你内心觉得自己还不够格，或者还在摸索阶段，或者还在路上，但外界却把你当成完全准备好了、非常能干的人，甚至觉得你是……

And so if internally, you sort of just think or believe about yourself that you're not qualified enough or that you're still figuring it out or you're very much still on the journey, but externally, you're being treated as though you are, like, fully the the ready package that you are completely competent, that you're...

你知道，就是那种顶尖高手，那么你的大脑就会想要解决这个不匹配的问题。

You know, you're the kind of, like, top of your game, then basically, your mind wants to resolve the mismatch.

所以你需要提升自己的自我形象。

And so you need to upgrade your self image.

这需要真正的坦诚面对自己。

It requires a real vulnerability.

现在，比较安全的做法，或者说我们……

Now, the kind of safer way to do this or what we...

我们的大脑认为比较安全的做法，基本上就是降低自己的成就。

Our brain assumes is the safer way to do this is to basically just downgrade our success.

所以你就告诉自己，哦，我们只是运气好。

So you just tell yourself, oh, we just got lucky.

这里面也有生物学上的原因，基本上我们的大脑天生就有负面偏见，也就是说，我们在进化上就被设定为更容易注意到威胁和错误，而不是成功。

There's also a biological component to this, which is that basically our brains are wired with negativity bias, meaning that we were evolutionarily programmed to notice threat and error more quickly than success.

几千年前，这帮助我们生存下来。

And thousands of years ago, this helped us survive.

但现在，即使事情进展得很顺利，我们的大脑也可能专注于我们犯的小错误，而不是我们做得非常好的那20件事。

But now, even when things are going really well, our brain might focus on the small mistake we made rather than like the 20 things that we did brilliantly.

所以，在一屋子有能力的人中间，你的大脑会聚焦于你不知道的东西，而不是你知道的。

And so, in a room full of competent people, your mind will zoom in on what you don't know rather than what you do know.

而这种选择性注意基本上强化了你不够好的想法，即使证据表明并非如此。

And that selective attention basically reinforces the story that you're not enough even if evidence says otherwise.

我觉得这真的很重要，因为我们了解自己的知识。

And I think that this is really important because we know our own knowledge.

我们知道自己的知识边界在哪里。

We know the kind of, like, limits of what we know.

我们知道自己的缺点。

We know our flaws.

我们知道自己的过去。

We know our past.

我们知道自己的经历。

We know our history.

我们知道自己在哪些方面可能有所欠缺。

We know our kind of where we maybe think that we fall short.

但我们不了解别人的。

But we don't know other people's.

所以这其实从来都不公平，因为我们总是会觉得自己不如别人懂得多。

And so it's actually never very fair because we are always going to assume that we are less knowledgeable than other people.

但这只是因为我们看不到他们的过去、他们的经历，以及他们不知道什么。

But that's only because we don't have visibility on their history, their experiences, what they don't know.

所以，我们因此产生了一种不太有帮助的偏见。

And so we are really biased in a kind of unhelpful way because of this.

其实，还有另一个科学概念，我在我的自信书里提到过，叫做“聚光灯效应”。

Now, there's another piece of science here that I actually speak about in my confidence book, which is called the spotlight effect.

研究表明，我们往往会高估别人对我们缺点或错误的关注程度。

And research shows that basically, we tend to overestimate how much other people notice our flaws or mistakes.

比如，我在书里举的例子是，如果我们脸上有个斑点，我们会因为这种聚光灯效应，以为所有人都在注意它，但实际上他们并没有。

And so the example I actually give in the book is that, you know, if we have a spot on our face, for example, we will assume because of this thing called the spotlight effect, we assume that everybody is paying attention to it even though they're not.

或者，假设我们在健身房……

Or let's say we do...

我们在健身房做错了动作，或者别的什么，我们可能会想，天哪，所有人都看到了，太尴尬了。

We're in the gym and we do our move wrong or whatever, we might think, oh god, everyone saw that, it's so embarrassing.

但实际上，他们并没有看到。

But actually, they didn't.

但我们心里就是会有这种想法，觉得别人注意到我们的缺点比实际情况要多得多。

But we just have this kind of idea in our mind that people are noticing and perceiving our flaws more than they actually are.

所以我们可能会以为每个人都能看到我们的不确定，对吧，或者看到我们紧张，或者看到我们不懂什么。

And so we might assume that everyone else can see our uncertainty, right, or see that we're nervous or see that we don't know something.

但实际上，大多数人只是忙于自己的内心对话。

But in reality, most people are just too preoccupied with their own internal dialogue.

他们在想自己表现如何，而不是在分析你。

They're thinking about how they're coming across, not analyzing you.

我觉得当你明白你那种被暴露的感觉往往被自己的感知放大了，你就能开始缓解那种恐惧。

And I think when you can understand that your sense of exposure is often exaggerated by your own perception, you actually can start to soften that fear.

这真的很有趣，因为我经常注意到这一点。

And it's really funny because I noticed this all the time.

比如说我接受了一个采访或者在台上做了什么事，可能我下来后会说什么，比如‘天哪，我刚才真的很紧张’。

Let's say I've given an interview or I've done something on stage and maybe I come off and I'll say something like, oh god, I was really nervous for that.

你们能看出来吗？

Could you tell?

而且一百次里有九十九次，对方都会说，天哪。

And a 100 times out of a 100, people will be like, oh, my god.

不会吧。

No way.

我完全看不出来。

I would never have been able to tell.

所以我是真的见过这种情况。

And so I really see this in action.

我相信你们在生活中也遇到过类似的情况，比如你心想，天哪，你注意到了吗？

I'm sure you all have examples of this in your own life where you've thought, oh god, did you notice that?

然后对方说，没有，我真没注意到。

And someone's gone, no, I really didn't.

所以回到冒充者综合征这个话题。

So going back to imposter syndrome.

冒充者综合征往往在我们人生的转折点出现。

So imposter syndrome also tends to show up during quite transitional points in our life.

所以当你从某个房间里最有经验的人，变成周围都是水平更高的人时，基本上你的比较基准就变了。

And so when you move from being in the most experienced person in one room to be surrounded by people at a higher level, basically, your comparative references shift.

我觉得这完全说得通，对吧？

And I think this makes complete sense, right?

我们在某个领域达到了顶峰，然后就得进入下一个层次。

We kind of reach the top of our game in one area, and then we have to go to the next level.

当我们进入下一个层次时，可能会觉得自己又成了新手。

And when we reach the next level, we feel maybe like we're beginners again.

但这其实非常重要。

But this is actually really important.

我想花点时间说一句，这种重新当新手的感觉其实很棒。

And I and I just wanna kind of take a moment to say that this feeling of feeling like a beginner again is really great.

我觉得我们应该拥抱它。

Like, I think we should embrace it.

我们应该拥抱这些成长和学习的机会，因为这就是生活的意义。

I think we should embrace the opportunities we have to grow and to learn because that is what life is about.

这是关于不断进化，成为我们能做到的最好的自己。

It's about evolving into the best version of ourselves that we can be.

如果我们一直停留在原来的水平，怎么可能体验到更好的东西呢？

And if we just stayed put in the same level that we were always out, how could we ever experience things that were better?

比如，我们怎么能体验到新鲜事物，或者，你知道，就像我说的，成长为我们应该成为的人。

Like, how could we ever experience novelty or you really, you know, like I say, grow into the people we're meant to be.

所以，如果你感到冒名顶替综合症，我觉得你应该把它当作你升级了的信号。

And so if you are feeling imposter syndrome, I think you should take it as a sign that you've leveled up.

这太棒了。

Like, that is so great.

把它当作一个信号，告诉自己：是的，我已经扩展了我的现实，现在只需要让我的思维跟上。

Like, use that as a signal that, yes, I have expanded my reality, and now I just need to make sure that my mind catches up.

在这些转折点出现这种情况的原因之一是，社会比较理论告诉我们，我们会根据周围的人来评价自己。

One of the reasons that it does come up in these transition points is because social comparison theory basically tells us that we evaluate ourselves based on the people around us.

所以，基本上，当你进入一个更大的圈子，比如你升职了或者开始了一份新工作，突然和一群领导、CEO或者任何比你高一级的人开会，你可能会突然觉得自己很渺小。

And so, basically, when you step into a bigger room, so let's say that you've got promoted or you've started a new job and you suddenly are in a meeting with all these kind of, like, leaders or CEOs or whatever it is, whatever level it is for you, you may suddenly then just feel smaller.

但这并不意味着你真的退步了。

Now, that doesn't mean that you have actually regressed.

只是你的环境变了。

It just means that your context has changed.

所以你才会有那种‘天哪’的感觉。

And so you're just feeling like, oh my gosh.

但实际上，就像我说的，这恰恰说明你成长了。

But actually, like I said, it's a signal that you've just grown.

那我们现在就来聊聊，什么方法能真正缓解这种感觉。

So let's talk now about what can actually help with this feeling.

第一步，就是把感受和事实分开。

The first step is separating feelings from facts.

说实话，我觉得我们所有人都应该时刻做到这一点。

And I think we could all be doing this all the time, to be honest.

对吧？

Okay?

所以，觉得自己像个骗子，并不代表你就是骗子。

So feeling like a fraud does not make you one.

当你怀疑自己的时候，我希望你写下客观的证据。

And when your doubt spikes, I want you to just write down objective evidence.

你取得了什么成就？

What have you achieved?

你交付了哪些具体成果？

What concrete results have you delivered?

你培养了哪些技能？

What skills have you built?

你收到了哪些反馈？

What feedback have you received?

而且一定要写下来，因为写这个动作能调动你大脑的理性部分，减少情绪上的扭曲。

And actually write it down because the act of writing basically engages the rational part of your brain and it reduces emotional distortion.

这多聪明啊？

How clever is that?

所以这其实是一种认知行为疗法，也就是CBT。

And so this is actually a CBT technique, which is cognitive behavioral therapy.

基本上，你是在用证据来反驳那些自动产生的负面想法。

And basically, you're countering the automatic negative thoughts with evidence.

我觉得这太棒了。

I just think that is amazing.

这就是为什么写日记这么有用，它真的是一种治愈的练习，因为它能调动你大脑的理性部分，让你思考得更清晰。

That that is why journaling is so brilliant, like, it's such a healing practice and that is why because it engages the rational part of your brain so that you can think literally more clearly.

第二，我建议你不要再不断改变目标了。

Secondly, I recommend that you stop shifting the goalposts.

很多高成就者基本上都会经历心理学家所说的“成就失忆症”。

Many high achievers basically experience what psychologists call achievement amnesia.

是不是很有趣？

How funny is that?

成就失忆症。

Achievement amnesia.

所以基本上，你完成了一件重要的事情，然后立刻把它正常化、最小化，或者干脆继续往前走。

So basically, you accomplish something significant and then immediately you normalize it or minimize it or just move on.

这样一来，你的神经系统根本没有机会真正去记录这个成功。

And so basically, your nervous system never has the opportunity to actually register the success.

如果你经常这样做，你的大脑就永远不会更新它对你自己的内在认知。

And what happens is that when you do that a lot, your brain basically never updates its internal model of who you are.

这就像……

It's...

想象一下，每次电脑提示你更新系统，你都点“稍后再说”，然后……

So imagine that, like, basically, every time your computer asks for an update, you click maybe later and...

因为你总是觉得，我太忙了。

Because you're just like, I'm too busy.

我得赶紧去做下一件事。

I've just gotta move on to the next thing.

然后系统就变得越来越过时了。

And then it just becomes really outdated.

就是这样。

It's like that.

所以，想象一下，当你达到里程碑、实现目标的时候，能有意识地停下来，好好庆祝一下，接受这份成就，真正去感受它，为自己感到骄傲——这就像是在更新你的自我认知。

So think of, like, being able to, like, consciously, like, when you hit milestones, when you reach a goal, being conscious and, like, sitting in that self celebration and accepting it and really taking it in and being proud of yourself, that is like hitting an update on your self perception.

我真的很喜欢这个比喻。

I actually love that analogy.

我得说，我为这个比喻感到骄傲。

I'm gonna say I'm proud of that one.

我要为这一刻好好庆祝一下。

I'm gonna self celebrate for that second.

所以，通过自我庆祝来更新你的自我认同。

So update your self identity by self celebration.

第三，我希望你提醒自己，你现在的位置是你应得的。

Third, I want you to remind yourself that you earned the position that you're in.

无论你现在处于人生的哪个阶段，无论你在哪里感到冒名顶替综合征，都是你自己走到这一步的。

Wherever you are in your life right now, wherever you are feeling imposter syndrome, you are the one that got yourself there.

所以你应该为此感到非常自豪。

So you should feel really proud of that.

这很重要，因为我觉得冒名顶替综合征会做的，就是改写历史。

And it's important because I think imposter syndrome, what it can do is it can rewrite history.

它会告诉你，你只是碰巧混进来的。

So it can basically tell you that you just like slipped through by accident.

但你不是凭空出现在这里的。

But you didn't randomly appear where you are.

对吧？

Okay?

是你自己努力申请、准备、付出行动、培养技能、坚持出现的。

You are the one that applied yourself, that prepared yourself, that did the work, built the skills, showed up.

是的，即使有好时机或好机会，你仍然是靠自己走到这一步的。

And yes, even if there was great timing or great opportunities involved, you are still the one that got yourself there.

所以当怀疑出现时，我希望你清晰而平静地对自己说：这是我应得的。

And so when doubt arises, I just want you to say clearly and calmly to yourself, I earned this.

明白吗？

Okay?

然后对自己说，是的，我配得上这一切。

And just be like, yes, I deserve this.

这是我应得的。

I earned it.

第四，别再以为别人都清楚自己在做什么，这其实我前面也提到过。

Fourth, stop assuming everyone else knows exactly what they're doing, which is kind of what I touched on earlier.

你是在拿自己的内心感受去跟别人的外在表现比。

You are comparing your internal experience to their external performance.

所以你看到的是他们光鲜亮丽的一面。

So you are seeing their polished presentation.

你看不到他们乱七八糟的草稿、他们的疑虑，或者那些东西。

You're not seeing their messy drafts, their doubts, or any of that.

而别人看起来那么笃定，这种错觉真的很有影响力。

And this illusion of certainty in other people is really powerful.

但大多数人都是在边做边学。

But most people are learning on the go.

只是有些人更愿意承认这一点。

It's just that some people are more comfortable admitting it.

而这其实直接引出了下一个实用工具，那就是提问。

And this actually leads directly into the next practical tool tool, which is to ask questions.

提问。

Questions.

所以我觉得，冒充者综合征会让你害怕暴露自己知识上的任何空白。

So So I I think think that imposter syndrome makes you afraid to expose any gaps in your knowledge.

但能力并不等于无所不知。

But competence is not about omniscience.

能力在于好奇心。

It's about curiosity.

而且对高效团队的研究实际上表明，心理上的……

And research on high performing teams actually shows that psychological say...

心理安全感，也就是能够坦然承认不确定而不感到害怕或丢脸，会带来更好的结果。

Safety, which is the ability to admit uncertainty without fear or humiliation, leads to better outcomes.

所以我希望你真正鼓励自己，比如，如果你不知道某件事，不要让它引发内心的冲突、怀疑和那种‘天哪，我怎么不知道这个’的感觉。

And so I want you to really encourage yourself, like, if you don't know something, rather than allowing that to kind of, like, create this internal conflict and doubt and feelings like, oh my god, why don't I know this?

相反，直接问就好了。

Instead, just ask.

我真的觉得……

Like, I really think...

我觉得能直接说‘嘿，我其实不知道，你能帮帮我吗’是一件很棒的事。

I think it's such an amazing thing to just be able to be like, hey, I actually don't know, could you help me?

而且这也很美好，我觉得人们通常都乐于助人。

It's also really lovely, like, people like to be helpful, I think.

而且我觉得，如果你知道某个人可能在某方面比你有更好的想法，那就去问他们，你知道吗。

And I think if you know that someone might have a better idea about something than you do, then go and ask them, you know.

他们也会觉得很高兴，觉得‘哦，是的，我能用我的知识帮到这个人’。”

It's nice for them to feel like, oh, yeah, could help this person with my knowledge.

或者问一下ChatGPT。

Or ask chat GBT.

你懂我的意思吗？

Do you know what I mean?

就是说，我们现在能获取到这么多信息。

Like, that we can find out so much information now.

所以如果你不知道，就去学，你知道吗，我其实经常这么做。

So if you don't know, learn, you know, and I definitely do this all the time.

比如如果我……

Like if I...

我……

I'm...

我刚开始做我的香水品牌Alia，一直在负责所有的运营、生产这些，说实话我完全不懂。

I just started my fragrance brand, Alia, and I've been running all the operations, production, things that I have no effing idea about, honestly.

而且我马上要跟一个大零售商合作，说实话，我收到的那些邮件里全是缩写。

And I am going into a big retailer and honestly, I've been getting these emails with so many abbreviations.

我……

I...

我这辈子没见过这么多缩写，感觉自己特别没准备，说实话，我觉得自己像个傻瓜。

I've never seen more abbreviations in my life and I felt so unequipped and I felt like, honestly, I felt like an idiot.

我当时就想，天哪，这都是什么啊？

I was like, oh my god, what is this?

然后我又想，等等，我怎么会知道这些呢？

And I was like, wait a second, why would I know this?

就是说，我凭什么会知道这些啊？

Like, why on earth would I know this?

我以前从来没做过这个。

I've never done this before.

所以我就直接说，不好意思，我是新手。

And so I would just say, look, I'm really sorry I'm new to this.

你能帮我解释一下这些吗？

Could you help me understand all these things?

而且没有人说，天哪，真是个废物。

And nobody was like, oh god, loser.

你知道吗，大家都说，对，当然。

You know, everyone was like, yeah, of course.

就是这样。

This is it.

然后我就知道了，下次我也知道了。

And then I knew, and then now I know for next time.

所以要多问问题。

So ask questions.

而且，这也提醒你的大脑，不完美是可以的，绝对可以。

And also, it reminds your brain, like, it's okay not to be perfect, which it absolutely is.

我还想说，在考虑冒名顶替综合症时，另一件非常重要的事情是要注意过度补偿。

I would also say that another thing that's really important when thinking about imposter syndrome is to watch out for overcompensation.

很多人对冒名顶替综合症的反应基本上就是过度工作。

So many people respond to imposter syndrome by basically, like, overworking.

所以他们可能会过度准备、过度交付、过度解释。

So they might over prepare, over deliver, over explain.

这可能会暂时减轻焦虑，但实际上会强化一种信念，那就是你必须把自己累垮才能配得上你的位置。

And this might temporarily reduce the anxiety, but it actually reinforces a belief that you've got to exhaust yourself to deserve your place.

相反，我希望你做的是，练习有分寸的努力。

And instead, what I want you to do is, like, practice calibrated effort.

就是只做需要做的事，并且做好，然后就停下来。

So just do what's required and do it well, but then stop.

你不需要过度表现来证明自己。

Like, you don't need to, like, be excessive to prove yourself.

冒充者综合征不仅仅是认知上的。

Imposter syndrome is not just cognitive.

它实际上是身体上的，也就是说你能在身体里感觉到它。

It's actually somatic, which means you can feel it in your body.

所以你可能会感到胸口发紧。

So you might feel like a tightness in your chest.

你可能会呼吸变浅，或者肾上腺素飙升。

You might get shallow breathing or a surge of adrenaline.

这些其实都是压力反应。

And these are just all stress responses.

所以在试图说服自己之前，我希望你先调节好身体状态。

And so before trying to reason with your thoughts, I want you to just regulate your body.

放慢呼吸，延长呼气，放松肩膀，当你的神经系统平静下来，你对情况的看法也会改变。

Slow your breathing, extend your exhale, drop your shoulders, and when your nervous system comes down, your interpretation of the situation will shift.

记住，冒充者综合征并不代表你不属于这里。

Remember that imposter syndrome really doesn't mean that you don't belong.

它只是意味着你正在成长为一个新的自己。

It just means that you're stretching into a new version of yourself.

成长在变得自然之前，总会让人感觉有点不稳定。

And growth always feels a bit destabilizing before it feels natural.

目标并不是要消除每一个怀疑的念头，你肯定会有怀疑，但关键是要找到一种方式带着它前进，克服它，不让它阻碍你。

And the goal really isn't to just eliminate every flicker of doubt, like you will have doubt, but it's about finding a way to move forward with it, you know, and to overcome it and not allow it to hold you back.

我真的希望这能帮到你，也希望你现在可能对进入这个新篇章感到兴奋，认识到你已经走了多远，为自己庆祝，并知道我们都在不断进步中。

I really hope this has helped and I hope that maybe you'll feel even excited now to step into this new chapter, to recognize how far you've come, to celebrate yourself, and to know that we are all a work in progress.

在我的书《自信》里有一句我很喜欢的名言：自信就是知道自己既是杰作，又是在不断打磨中的作品。

There's that great quote in my book that I love, the confidence book, which is confidence is knowing that we are a masterpiece and a work in process at the same time.

这就是我们所有人的状态。

And that is what we all are.

朋友们，非常感谢你们的收听。

Guys, thank you so much for listening.

如果你们喜欢并且觉得有帮助，请在你们收听的地方留下评论。

If you liked it and if it helped, please do leave a comment wherever you listen.

这真的能帮助我们了解你们感兴趣的内容，是否喜欢这些节目，以及我们应该做更多什么。

It really helps us just to know what you guys are interested in, if you're enjoying them, what we should do more of.

如果可以的话，请点击关注和订阅按钮。

And if you can, please hit the follow and subscribe button.

在那之前，祝你们一切顺利，继续向上。

Until then, sending you all the good vibes and keep rising.

再见。

Bye.