小心婚礼电子请柬！

讨论让世界持续运转。

Discussion keeps the world turning.

这里是圆桌论坛。

This is Roundtable.

您正在收听圆桌论坛。

You're tuned in to Roundtable.

今天我是史蒂夫，和Fei Fei以及Yushan一起。

I'm Steve today with Fei Fei and Yushan.

接下来是。

Coming up.

所以你觉得你有个人风格吗？

So you think you've got personal style?

试试冬天搬到北京吧。

Try moving to Beijing in winter.

无论你的衣橱多么大胆，命运都有一种你无法逃避的风格。

No matter how bold your wardrobe, there's only one style fate you can't escape.

那件宏大、普遍穿着的黑色羽绒服。

The great all consuming universally worn black down jacket.

你可以把它称为那面黑色的羽绒墙。

The great black down wall, if you will.

它更像是一种文化现象，而不仅仅是一件衣物。

It's less a garment and more a cultural phenomenon.

如果你愿意的话，这是这座城市最公平的时尚平衡器。

The city's great style equalizer if you want.

但这究竟是时尚失败，还是首都最聪明的穿搭秘诀？

But is this really a fashion fail or is it the capital's smartest style secret?

我们会聊聊这个话题。

We'll chat about it.

之后，你会收到一份婚礼请柬。

After that, you get a wedding e vite.

你点一下。

You click.

他们都知道。

They know.

在中国，电子请柬正在将好奇心转化为礼貌，但更多时候是转化为压力。

In China, e invitations are turning curiosity into politeness, not so much, but more into pressure.

这正在创造一种全新的社交怪象。

It's creating a whole new type of social weirdness.

这是非正式回复的终结吗？

Is this the end of the casual RSVP?

我们的播客听众可以在Apple播客上搜索《Roundtable China》找到我们。

Our podcast listeners can find us at Roundtable China on Apple Podcasts.

别忘了，我们非常期待听到你的声音。

And don't forget, we love to hear your voice.

请通过语音留言向我们分享你的想法。

So send your thoughts our way through a voice note.

Roundtablepodcast@qq.com。

Roundtablepodcast@qq.com.

再次提醒，圆桌播客邮箱是 qq.com。

Once again, roundtable podcast at qq.com.

注意听。

Hear ye.

注意听。

Hear ye.

请大家围过来。

Please gather round.

该上讲台了。

It's time for the soapbox.

该上讲台了，最近我们从新闻中找了一个让我们特别有感触的故事。

It is time for the soapbox where we find a story from the news as of late that makes us feel a special kind of way.

我们会告诉你这个故事的内容，然后分享一下我们内心真实的想法。

We tell you what that story's about and then deliver a little mini rant on what's really going on in our heads.

这一周，菲菲，轮到你了。

And Fei Fei, you have the floor this week.

是的。

Yes.

这周轮到我了。

It's my turn this week.

过去一周，我实际上在网上看到了许多文章，尤其是在微信上。

And over the past week, I actually come across a number of articles actually online, especially on for example, on WeChat.

我看到一篇文章收集了社交媒体上人们关于为什么黑色羽绒服是北京人冬季最爱的帖子和评论，大家开玩笑说黑色羽绒服已经成了这座城市的‘城市制服’。

I saw this article accumulating people's posts and comments on social media about why black down jackets are basically the favorite of people in Beijing in wintertime, and they joke about how black down jackets have effectively become the city's city uniform.

北京当地的广播电台上个月也做了一项调查，使用了话题标签‘为什么北京人喜欢黑色羽绒服？’

And the the the local radio here in Beijing also did a survey last month with the hashtag, why do people in Beijing love black down jackets?

他们采访了街头路人，大多数人提到的原因包括：实用、维护成本低、百搭、无论社会地位或体型如何，都能让人看起来一模一样。

And with they interviewed people on the streets and most people citing reasons like being practical, less spending in maintenance, matching everything, making everybody look the same regardless of social status and and your body weight.

在抖音和小红书上，也有无数视频展现了同样的模式：无论你多么时尚，一旦搬到北京，尤其是城市西部，你总会不知不觉买一件黑色羽绒服，融入那片黑色的通勤人潮。

And also on Douyin and Rednote, Xiaohongshu, there are also countless videos basically showing the same pattern, like, no matter how fashion forward you are, once you move to Beijing, especially in the western part of the city, you somehow ending up buying that black down jacket and blending into that black colored current of commuters.

我最近去了王府井，就知道你今天要聊这个黑色羽绒服的事。

I was in Wangfujing recently, and I knew you were gonna be talking about this black down thing today.

所以我稍微留意了一下。

So I kind of paid attention.

我当时在室内，位于四楼靠近窗户的地方，而王府井是这座城市的一个热门旅游区，我正好在观察这一点。

I was indoors, and I was about four stories up near a window, and I was just Wengfejing has a lot of it's a popular tourist area here in the city, and I was paying attention to exactly that.

菲菲说得对吗？

Is Fei Fei right?

周围真的有很多黑色羽绒服，还是这只是大家的错觉？

Are there a lot of black down jackets around, or is this just, you know, in everyone's mind?

我注意到那是一面黑色的墙。

And I and I noticed it's a black wall.

我特别好奇你在王府井看到了什么，但能看到黑色羽绒服海洋的最佳地点，其实是在地铁站里。

I'm so curious to to know what you saw in Wangfujing, but the best place or spot that you can see the sea of black the the black sea of black down jackets is actually underground in the subway stations.

是的。

Yeah.

在那儿，黑色最密集，人们挤在车厢里，密密麻麻。

Where the blackness is most dense, altogether squeezed up in the carts.

在地铁车厢里。

In the in the subway cars.

是的。

Yeah.

而且，如果我们讨论其他颜色选择的话，基本上不是黑色就是深蓝色，都是非常深的颜色。

And and also, when it comes to if we are talking about other color choices, it's either black or navy blue, but basically very dark colored.

哦，我有一件黑色的。

Oh, I have a black one.

而且以前，我现在的这件也是黑色的。

And before, my current one is also a black one.

我记得史蒂夫有一件深蓝色的。

And Steve has a navy blue one, as I remember.

不过我的这件不是全长的。

Well, mine's not full length though.

这有关系吗？

Does that does it matter?

长度无所谓。

It doesn't matter about the length.

好的。

Okay.

根据北京本地电台在街头做的那个视频，有些人说他们有四到五件？

According to that video that the Beijing local radio did on the street, some people said said that they have like four to five Really?

都是黑色的不同长度的夹克。

Different length of jackets all in the color of black.

嗯。

Mhmm.

因为这样既方便又容易打理。

Because it's just so convenient and easy to maintain.

而且，北京被人嘲笑缺乏时尚感，这也不是第一次了。

And also but it's not the first time actually for Beijing to be joked about not having a sense of fashion.

比如，有个笑话说北京的‘城市制服’就是防风衣。

For example, versions of the joke, Beijing City uniform was the windbreakers.

实际上，还有报道称风衣的销量

And actually, there are reports about how windbreak the sale of windbreakers

你是指更薄的夹克吗？

The thinner jackets, you mean?

那种带有防水功能的薄款外套。

The thinner with the waterproof features on the coat.

而且它们通常有两层。

And like, they have like two layers.

一层可能是羽绒服。

One is probably a puffer jacket.

另一层则更防风防水。

The other is more wind and waterproof.

是的。

Yeah.

这种风衣品牌的销量在线上一直飙升。

And the the sales of this windbreaker brands have been soaring in online.

例如，仅在北京，就有超过300人在一个星期内购买了某一品牌的这种防风衣。

For example, in Beijing alone for one brand, more than 300 people bought that particular wind windbreaker within a single week.

而且如果你去北京的商场，会发现一楼大部分品牌都在销售某种防风衣。

And they are also if you go to a mall in Beijing, you will see on the Ground Floor most of the brands opening is basically has selling some sort of windbreakers.

甚至连那些传统上不生产户外服装的品牌，也推出了自己的防风衣版本。

And even for those not traditionally producing outdoor apparels brands, they're also launching their own version of windbreakers.

因此，有人开玩笑说，北京的城市统一着装就是这样的。

So there are also people joking about Beijing City uniform form is that.

所以网上有人拿这个开玩笑，有点讽刺的意思。

So joking about it online, kind of insulting.

如果你愿意这么理解的话，对吧？

If you wanna take it that way, right?

取决于你怎么看待这个玩笑，你可能会说，是的，我想是这样。

Depending on how you receive that joke, you could say, yeah, I suppose.

但你也可以反驳说，等等，你这只是在说北京人不时尚，这座城市不够潮流。

But you could also say, wait a minute, you're just saying Beijingers aren't fashionable and this is not a fashionable city.

作为

As

作为一个北京人，我一点都不会觉得被冒犯。

a Beijinger, I actually don't feel offended at all.

我只是觉得，哦，你们发现了我们的秘密。

I just feels like a oops, you discovered our secret.

因为不仅仅是冬天的夹克，风衣也是这样。

Because it's not only just the winter jackets were windbreakers.

即使在夏天，我记得我爷爷告诉我，他一生大部分时间都生活在西部中国的新疆维吾尔自治区，那里有众多民族，街上的人们穿着各种鲜艳的服装。

Even in summertime, I remember my grandpa telling me because he spent the majority of his life in Western China's Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region where there's a there there are so many ethnic groups and people wearing all kinds of colorful dresses on the out on the street.

但当他搬来北京，和我和我爸爸的家人一起生活后，他唯一经常在街上感叹的就是：为什么大家都穿相似的颜色？

And once he moved to Beijing so that he can stay with me and my dad's family, His one and only biggest always here kind of comment out on the street is, why is everybody wearing similar colors?

嗯。

Mhmm.

通常都是一些低调的颜色，不会让你特别显眼。

And it's usually just a modest kind of color that kind of doesn't make you stand out

嗯嗯。

Uh-huh.

对。

Yeah.

没错。

Exactly.

无论什么季节。

For whatever season.

没错。

Exactly.

尤其是当你把中国的大城市比如上海拿来比较的时候。

And not on especially when you're comparing big cities here in China like Shanghai.

嗯嗯。

Mhmm.

北京绝对不是时尚之都。

Beijing is definitely not the fashion capital.

北京基本上，很多人都开玩笑说北京能容忍一切，就是不能容忍时尚。

And Beijing, basically, a lot of people joke about Beijing basically can tolerate everything except fashion.

是的。

And Yeah.

这正是人们试图给北京贴上的标签。

And that's that's exactly what people are trying to label Beijing is.

这让你感到不快。

And this has got you upset.

这今天就是你的核心话题。

That's what your soapbox is about today.

我的观点就从这里开始。

And here is where my soapbox begins.

首先，我喜欢我的黑色蓬松羽绒服。

First of all, I like my black puffy down jacket.

它很实用。

It is practical.

它非常轻松自在。

It's effortless.

它很舒适。

It's comfortable.

这种脚踏实地的态度本身并没有什么不对。

And there's nothing wrong with this really being down to earth attitude.

事实上，在许多情况下，这是最理性、最诚实且最有自知之明的选择。

And in fact, in many cases, it's the most rational, honest and self aware position to take.

人们喜欢拿这种黑色羽绒服或其他实用的选择开玩笑，也喜欢调侃大家穿得都一样。

People like to joke about it, about these black down jackets or other practical choices and also everyone looking the same.

但这些玩笑忽略了一个关键点。

But those jokes miss one point.

脚踏实地并不意味着缺乏品味或想象力。

Being down to earth is not about lacking taste or imagination.

而是意味着理解你的环境，并聪明地做出回应。

It's about understanding your environment, responding to it intelligently.

当室外温度低至零下十度，寒风刺骨，而你还要面对一整天的工作和一小时的通勤时，选择保暖而非美观并不是妥协。

When it is minus 10 degrees outside, the wind sharp enough to hurt your face, and you still have a full work day and a one hour commute ahead of you, choosing warmth over aesthetics is not giving up.

这是一种能力。

It's competence.

这是清楚自己的优先事项。

It's knowing your priorities.

在这种情况下，时尚是可选的，而保持实用却不可或缺。

In this case, fashion is optional and staying functional is not.

脚踏实地的态度也具有深刻的民主性。

The down to earth attitude is also deeply democratic.

这不仅仅关乎北京所谓的城市统一着装。

And this is not just about Beijing's so called city uniform.

它还体现在其他选择上，比如中国大多数公立学校的校服。

It also shows up in other choices too, like in most public schools here in China, the school uniforms.

这些校服通常是运动服款式，宽松肥大，人们常嘲笑它们不够美观，尤其是与其他地方看到的裙子、西装外套或私立学校校服相比时。

There are often sportswear, loose and baggy, and people joke about how unattractive they are they are especially when compared with skirts and blazers or private school uniforms seen elsewhere.

但这正是重点。

But that's the point.

这关乎包容性。

This is about inclusivity.

它不要求你表现，不要求你有可支配收入、持续消费，或耗费情感精力来维持外表。

It does not ask you to perform, does not demand disposable income, constant consumption, or emotional energy to maintain appearances.

这些衣服适合每个人、每个地方、每一天，它们能缓和鲜明的差异，减轻社会压力。

These clothes work for everyone, everywhere, every day, and they soften sharp differences and lower social pressure.

另外，我们来谈谈这个笑话本身。

And also, let's talk about the joke itself.

人们调侃接地气的选择，正是因为它们很普遍。

People joke about being down to earth choices because they are common.

它们之所以普遍，是因为它们实用。

They are common because they work.

当北京成百上千万人独立地得出相同的解决方案时，这并不是缺乏创造力。

When millions of people here in Beijing independently arrive at the same solution, that is not a lack of creativity.

这是集体的智慧。

It's collective wisdom.

实用性中也蕴含着一种安静的尊严。

There are also a quiet dignity in practicality.

脚踏实地的人并不想在街上给陌生人留下印象。

Down to earth people are not trying to impress strangers on the streets.

他们不是为了算法或认可而穿衣。

They're not dressing for algorithm or validation.

他们穿的是真实生活所需的衣服。

They're dressing for life as it actually is.

拥挤、寒冷、不可预测而又忙碌。

Crowded, cold, unpredictable, and busy.

嘲笑这种态度，往往源于一种距离感——远离日常通勤、预算安排和身体上的不适。

Mocking that attitude often comes from a place of distance, distance from daily commuting, from budgeting, from physical discomfort.

当你不必站在寒冷的站台上等待最后一班回家的列车时，很容易把风格浪漫化。

And it's easy to romanticize style when you are not the one standing on a freezing platform waiting for the last train home.

说得对。

Here, here.

所以，是的，人们可以开玩笑，在网上分享也很有趣，我们可以一起笑。

So, yes, people can joke, and it's fun to share online, and we can laugh along.

但让我们不要把实用性与认可混淆，也不要将简单等同于缺乏抱负。

But let's not confuse practicality with recognition or simplicity with a lack of ambition.

脚踏实地并不意味着没有抱负。

Being down to earth is not the absence of aspiration.

而是拒绝把精力浪费在无关紧要的事情上。

It is the refusal to waste energy on things that don't matter.

在一个不断要求人们表演的世界里，脚踏实地不是妥协。

And in a world that constantly asks people to perform, being down to earth is not a compromise.

而是一种选择。

It is a choice.

在那件羽绒黑外套之下，时尚依然可以存在。

And beneath that puffer black jacket, fashion can still live on.

听起来像是北京人组成的群体。

Sounds like it was a crowd of Beijingers.

是的。

Yeah.

为你加油

Cheering for

在那里。

you there.

我录下了那段。

I recorded that.

没有。

No.

没录。

Didn't.

玉山，你怎么看这个？

What do you think about this, Yushan?

我的意思是，你知道的。

I mean, you know.

所以让我问这个问题。

So so let me ask this question.

在中国其他地方，大家普遍知道北京并不以时尚达人著称。

So in other parts of China, it's kind of commonly known that this city Beijing is not known for its fashionistas.

这么说公平吗？

Is that fair to say?

网上确实经常看到这种说法。

It's commonly seen online, yes.

好的。

Okay.

北京人也知道，中国其他地方的人认为北京不是国家的时尚之都吗？

And Beijingers kind of know that other parts of China look at Beijing as not the fashion capital of the country?

我不能代表所有北京人，但就我个人而言，是的。

I wouldn't vouch for ever Beijinger, but personally, yes.

好的。

Okay.

我知道。

I am aware.

好的。

Okay.

你对此完全没有任何意见吗？

And this does not you have no issue with this whatsoever?

你对此有点意见吗？

You have kind of an issue with this?

你并不觉得被冒犯吧？我之前好像听你说过？

You're not insulted, I think you said before?

是的。

Yeah.

我觉得这很有意思，谢谢Fei Fei，你提到了我们如何在冬衣之下体现时尚理念。

I feel it's a very and thank you, Fei Fei, for the the announcement of how we have an idea of fashion beneath the winter jacket.

我之前也说过，我们穿的颜色比较素雅，但这并不意味着我们不注重自己的穿着搭配。

And I kind of said earlier that we we wear modest colors, but that doesn't mean that we don't design how we look.

有时候，在考虑一天的穿搭时，我们会更注重实用性，而不是身上颜色的多样性。

It's just sometimes when thinking about our coordination for a day, we prioritize practicality over the variety of color that we're putting on ourselves.

就连羽绒服，我刚刚想到，几乎每款羽绒服的设计都采用黑色，就是因为它的实用性。

And even for a a down jacket, I this just came to my mind that for down jackets, every you almost every model type has a design for the color black because of its practicality.

因为其他颜色的衣服，袖口和领口很容易显脏。

Because, you know, for other colors, it's very visibly seen dirty around your sleeves and around your collar.

但黑色看起来更适合长时间不频繁清洗。

But for black color, it seems like it's a better choice for a longer period without washing it constantly.

这就是北京人的智慧，尤其是在风大、空气干燥的天气里。

So that's the wisdom of Beijing people, especially in in weathers where there's a lot of wind and dryness in the air.

我觉得这是一种健康且有益的习惯，而不是我们应该感到被冒犯的事情。

So I would see that as a healthy and helpful helpful habit instead of something that we should feel offended with.

正如你之前提到的，史蒂夫，每个地方都有自己独特的穿衣风格。

And each place, as you mentioned earlier, Steve, have their own style for dressing themselves up.

所以，如果我们是那种更低调、更包容色彩的风格，我觉得这完全不是问题。

So like if we are the more modest and and tolerant, color tolerating style, then I don't see that as a problem at all.

我只是想说一点。

Well, I'll just say this.

这个房间里有四个人。

There are four people in this room.

嗯。

Mhmm.

其中有两个人穿着蓬松的黑色背心。

Two are wearing a puffy black vest.

你正在收听圆桌讨论。

You're listening to round table.

我是史蒂夫，和你一起主持。

I'm Steve with you shot.

你刚刚注意到了，对吧？

You just noticed, didn't you?

和你一起shot。

With you shot.

我现在就脱掉我的。

I'm taking mine off right now.

我是fefe。

I'm fefe.

接下来，你的朋友刚发给你一份婚礼电子请柬。

Coming up, your friend just sent you a wedding e invitation.

别点那个。

Don't click that.

我稍后告诉你为什么。

I'll tell you why in just a sec.

在寻找激情吗？

Looking for passion?

激烈的辩论怎么样？

How about fiery debate?

想听听关于中国时事的不同观点吗？

Wanna hear about current events in China from different perspectives?

那就收听《圆桌论坛》，在这里东西方交汇，目标是增进理解。

Then tune in to Roundtable, where East meets West and understanding is the goal.

这里是《圆桌论坛》，今天邀请到的是Fei Fei和Yisha。

This is Roundtable, today with, Fei Fei and Yisha.

我叫Steve，不知道你们有没有收到过，但中国的电子婚礼请柬本意是有趣又方便，但其访客追踪功能却让随意点击变成了社交压力。

My name is Steve, and I don't know if you've received one before or not, but e wedding invitations in China are meant to be fun and convenient, but its visitor tracking feature has turned casual clicks into social pressure.

平台可以记录谁查看了请柬，甚至将这些信息作为付费服务出售。

Platforms can log who viewed an invite and even sell that information as a paid service.

这使得宾客感到尴尬，而新人则感到好奇。

This is leaving guests feeling awkward and couples feeling curious.

在这一功能开始破坏人际关系之前，我们是不是该重新考虑一下它呢？

Is it time to rethink this feature before it starts ruining relationships, I wonder?

那么，这到底是怎么回事？

So what is this all about?

首先，对于许多不在中国的听众来说，如今婚礼请柬通常都是在线发送的。

So first of all, for a lot of our listeners not in China, these days that wedding invitations often happen online.

大多数情况下，它们是通过微信应用中的链接发送的，你可以点击进入，查看新人的照片和视频，还有背景音乐以及婚礼举办地点的精确地图。

Most of the case, they are through a link on the platform on the app of WeChat where you can click in, and they can show that photos and web videos of the the newlyweds, and they also have background music and maps of exactly where this wedding is taking place.

它们还包含一个按钮，如果你决定参加婚礼，可以点击它。

And they also have a button that you can press on if you decide to go with the wedding.

这个请柬是直接发给我的，还是像微信朋友圈那样的内容？

Is this is this a message sent directly to me or this is in WeChat moments, for example?

它可以是这两种方式中的任何一种。

It it can be both.

是的。

Yes.

没错。

Exactly.

最酷的部分是，如果我想把这份请柬发给某人，我就可以做到。

It's the the coolest part is if I want to send this invitation to someone, I can.

但如果我不清楚还有谁感兴趣，我也可以把它发到朋友圈。

But if I don't know who else is interested, I can also just post it on the moment.

哦，而且是以帖子的形式。

Oh, and and As a post.

你好友列表里的任何人都可以随意点击。

And anyone in your friends list can feel free to click on that.

是的。

Yeah.

并且如果他们想参加，就可以注册。

And register if if they want

而且，这也是一种公告，告诉你的朋友，不管你来不来，我都要结婚了。

And also, it's sort of as an an announcement, telling your friends, no matter you come or not, I'm getting married.

这

This

正在发生。

is happening.

是的。

Yes.

这可以说是一种公告。

And it's sort of an announcement.

这就是为什么许多人的电子请柬感觉非常随意。

It's so that's why this e invitation feels very casual for many

人们。

people.

到目前为止，听起来还不错。

And so far, it sounds okay.

那问题出在哪里？

So what's the problem?

问题是，最近一些电子请柬平台允许邀请创建者查看详细的访客记录，包括谁查看了这份请柬、查看了多少次、何时查看，甚至是谁将请柬转发给了第三方。

And the problem is that recently, some of these e invitation platforms allow invitation creators to see detailed visitor records, including who viewed this invitation and how many times they viewed it, and when and even who forward this invitation to an out to a third party.

嗯。

Mhmm.

例如，如果我在朋友圈看到一张电子请柬，决定转发给我们的共同朋友，顺便八卦一下，‘哦，她或他要结婚了。’

For example, if I saw an e invitation on my moments and I decide to send to our mutual friend, basically, a little gossiping about, oh, she or he is getting married.

我可能不会去，也不会回复是否出席，但这本身是个不错的谈资。

I may not go to I may not RSVP to that party, but it's just a nice conversation to

好的。

Okay.

但问题就在这里。

But here's the problem.

对吧？

Right?

比如，Fei Fei 要结婚了。

So for example, Fei Fei is getting married.

她把婚礼请柬发在了微信朋友圈，比如说。

She puts out the thing, the wedding invitation on WeChat Moments, for example.

我认为微信朋友圈并不是人们唯一可以这样做地方。

I don't think WeChat Moments is the only place people can do this.

不。

No.

但这是最原始的吗？

But it's the the the primal?

是的。

Yeah.

主要的。

The primary.

主要的。

Primary.

好的。

Okay.

所以Fei Fei在微信朋友圈发布了。

So Fei Fei puts it out on WeChat moments.

玉山和我看到了。

Yushan and I, we see it.

玉山和我，我们点了赞。

Yushan and I, we click.

点赞。

Click.

哦，看啊。

Oh, look.

Fei Fei要结婚了。

Fei Fei's getting married.

看看这张漂亮的婚礼照片。

Look at that beautiful wedding picture.

是的。

Yeah.

现在快进一下，玉山和我没有去参加婚礼。

Now fast forward, fast forward, Yushan and I don't go to the wedding.

Fei Fei可以通过一项付费服务看到，玉山和我都查看了邀请函，但没有出席婚礼。

Fei Fei can, and here's the problem, Fei Fei can see through a paid service that Yushan and I have both viewed the invitation but didn't show up to the wedding.

是的。

Yes.

而且根据一些网上分享的案例，某些邀请平台的仪表板和后台显示共有129位访客，其中一人单独打开了该邀请28次。

And also according to some cases shared online, some of the dashboards and background of the invitation platform showing 129 total visitors with one single person opening that invitation 28 times.

哦。

Oh.

这简直是在加剧我们的社交焦虑问题，我觉得。

That is killing the social anxiety problem that we have, I think.

哦，天哪。

Oh, no.

这已经不只是社交焦虑了。

That's more than social anxiety.

如果你被发现没去参加婚礼，那简直是社会性死亡。

That's social death if you're a spot of doing And

所以这就是为什么很多观众，尤其是那些没决定不去参加婚礼的人，会觉得这是侵犯隐私，而且特别尴尬。

so that's why a lot of especially for viewers, they're feeling that this is privacy and feeling awkward, especially when when especially when you're not deciding not to go to that wedding.

我很好奇，有多少新婚或即将结婚的夫妇真的会关注这些细节，因为你之前提到这是一种付费服务。

I'm curious just how many new newly wed couples or to be wed couples really focus on those details because you you mentioned earlier that it's a paid service.

你支付的会员等级越高，就能解锁平台上越多的详细信息。

The and the more the higher membership you pay for, the more details you kind of can unlock from that platform.

但从许多夫妇的角度来看，这并不一定显得那么恶意。

So but from many couples perspective, it doesn't necessarily feel that kind of malicious.

很多夫妇把访客记录视为减少不确定性的方法。

So many couples, they see visitor records as a way to reduce uncertainty.

我们已经提到，这方便人们跟踪谁已经注册了，谁还没有。

And we mentioned already that it's just convenient for people to keep a track of registering who is coming and who is not.

是的。

Yeah.

我的意思是，过去现在，这就像一个数字登记系统。

I mean I mean, in in the past, now, it's just like a digital registry Yeah.

有点像吧。

Kind of Kind of.

我不确定这是否完全一样。

I don't know if it's exactly the same.

以前是什么样子的？

What's what it used to be like?

好吧，你到达婚礼现场时。

Well, you show up to the wedding Oh.

然后你签到，签下宾客登记簿。

And then you sign you sign the guest the guest book.

也许这些婚礼的一个问题就是，你无法清楚地知道有多少人会来。

Maybe that's the one of the problems these weddings have is that you don't have a clear picture of how many people are coming.

是的，对总人数的估算

Yeah, the estimation of overall

你需要准备的食物

food you need to prepare

或者没错，所以在规划时，清楚地知道确切有多少人会来非常重要。

or Yes, so when it comes to planning, it matters a lot to have a clear picture of how many people exactly are coming.

你认为这是这里的主要问题吗？

Do you think that's the main issue here?

关于规划，我觉得，我的意思是也许你说得对，但我感觉这并不是问题所在。

About planning, I feel like, I mean maybe you're right, but I feel like that's not the problem.

意大利面。

Spaghetti.

我觉得问题在于那种特定关系中对友谊的定义。

I feel like the problem is the definition of friendship in that in that particular relationship.

嘿，兄弟。

Hey, bro.

我知道你看到了我的邀请。

I know you I know you saw my invitation.

我知道，因为我付了服务费，看到了你的名字。

I know because I paid a service and I saw your name.

你点了链接，但没来。

You clicked it, but you didn't come.

是的。

Yes.

而且，关于浏览次数，有个人打开了那个邀请链接28次，是的。

And also, when it comes to how many views, like that one person opened that invitation for 28 times Yeah.

你有点

You sort of It's bit

奇怪，不是吗？

weird, isn't it?

是的。

Yeah.

所以呢

So what

你在做什么？

are you doing?

盯紧那份名单。

Stay on top of that list.

很难不去注意到你已经打开了这个邀请函28次。

It's very hard to to not seeing that you've opened the invitation for 28 times.

你忘了27次吗？

Did you forget 27 times?

是的。

Yeah.

你只是想看看照片吗？

Did you just wanna see the pictures?

是的。

Yeah.

人们会知道你一直在八卦这对新人的婚礼情况。

People people will know you've been gossiping about what's happening with this wedding about the couple couple.

我认为另一个问题是，为什么平台要推出这样的服务？

And I think another issue is why do platforms decide to launch such services?

而且，这还是个付费服务。

And also, it's a paid service.

赚钱

Make money,

这会是一门好生意。

I It's would good business.

他们可以从这些新人身上赚到钱，这是一门好生意。

It's a good business that they can earn from those couples.

同时，以前这件事一直对公众隐藏着。

And in the meantime, previously, this has been hidden from the general public.

对吧？

Right?

所以人们不知道自己即使只是进来随便看看，也已经被记录了下来。

So people don't know that they've been recorded even though they just want to wander in and see what's going on.

你以为你的点击是安全的。

You think your clicking is safe.

嗯。

Mhmm.

对吧？

Right?

但你的点击行为已被记录，用以向那些想知道你是否在点击的人进行营销。

But your clicking has been recorded as a way to be marketized to people who wants to know if you're clicking or not.

是的。

Yeah.

我想这就是所谓的同意问题，

That's the consent thing, I guess,

这是其中的一部分

that It's part

这正是企业所利用的灰色地带。

of That is kind of the like the the gray area that the businesses are utilizing.

而且对于许多观众来说，我不确定他们向这些平台提供了多大程度的同意，因为我们都经历过这种情况。

And also for a lot of viewers out there, I'm not really sure the level of consent they are giving out to these platforms because, you know, we've all been there.

同意协议长达七、八甚至十页。

The consent form is, like, seven, eight, 10 pages long.

是的。

Yeah.

你不能因此责怪公司。

You can't blame you can't blame the company for that.

这也是你的责任，我的责任，你的责任，每个人的责任，去仔细阅读那些细节。

That's your responsibility too, and mine, and you and everyone's, right, to read those fine details.

但还有一个问题是，有些人认为你，比如你，会多次查看那个邀请。

But there is also another issue is that some people think that you you for example, you check that invitation more than once.

有时候他们只显示一次同意表单。

And sometimes they only show that consent form one time.

而通过点击“我同意”，你就相当于终身授权了。

And sort of by clicking I agree, you are sort of giving consent for life.

但一些律师表示，同意不应当像终身通行证那样生效，每次你打开该链接时都应收到通知。

But some lawyers are saying that the consent isn't supposed to work like a lifetime pass, but you should be given that sort of a notice every time you open that link.

下次朋友发给你婚礼电子邀请时，就别点了。

Next time your friend sends you an e invite to their wedding, just don't click it.