r/Bestof I Flirt with Fat Girls for Fun, then Ghost Them

欢迎来到 r/bestof 的红迪用户更新，这次的主角是男方岳父把男方当工具人使唤。

Welcome to r slash best of Redditor updates where OP's father-in-law uses OP in an awful way.

我们接下来要看的帖子来自 r/relationshipadvice。

Our next Reddit post is from r slash relationship advice.

这个事儿挺怪的，至少对我来说是这样。

So this is a weird one, at least for me.

我和我女朋友安妮，她24岁，已经交往一年多了一点。

Me and my girlfriend, Anne, who's 24, have been dating for a little over a year now.

我们在一起大概两个月的时候，我就见了她父母。

I met her parents when we were two months together or so.

她一直夸他们特别好，从来没提过任何可能引发现在问题的矛盾。

She always spoke very highly of them and never mentioned any conflict that could have been the cause of the current issue.

我以前的感情里遇到过几个糟糕的岳父，但安妮的父亲真是个意外的惊喜。

I've had some bad experiences with fathers in my past relationship, but Anne's father was a nice surprise.

他特别随和，能看得出来他真心在乎家人，也关心每个家庭成员的幸福。

He's a very cool dude, and you can see that he truly cares about his family and the happiness of every member.

认识她父母之后，我们每个月至少会去拜访他们两次。

After I met her parents and got along with them, we would visit them at least twice a month.

有时候是Anne提议的，有时候是她父母邀请我们和她兄弟姐妹一起吃晚饭。

Sometimes it was Anne's idea, and sometimes her parents would invite us to dinner with Anne's siblings.

这些经历都挺愉快的，我和Anne都很享受这些时光。

Once again, those were always positive experiences and both me and Anne enjoyed it.

有一天，她爸爸约我出去喝点啤酒。

Then one day, her father invited me to meet him so that we could get some beer.

我叫了Anne一起，但她不想去，我就一个人去了。

I invited Anne but she didn't want to so I went by myself.

他聊了聊自己的生活、工作，还有一些琐事，我也说了说我的事。

He talked about his life, his job, random topics and I did the same.

那晚挺开心的，所以下个月他再约我，我又去了。

I had a pretty good time, so when he invited me the next month, I went again.

后来这就成了惯例。

So this became a thing.

每个月我们都约在一起喝啤酒、聊天。

Each month, we meet up to drink beer and talk.

安妮从来没对这件事说过任何负面的话。

Anne never said anything negative about this.

事实上，我每次回来，她都会问我玩得开不开心，然后我们还会聊聊细节。

In fact, when I would come back, she would ask if I had fun and we would talk a little about it.

三天前，我没想到她会突然来让我别再和她爸爸见面了。

I was surprised three days ago to have her come and ask me to stop hanging out with her father.

我问是不是出了什么事，她说没有。

I asked if something had happened and she said that it didn't.

她就是单纯想让我别去了。

She just wanted me to stop.

这事儿挺突然的，因为我们平时有什么都尽量开诚布公地聊。

This was something new because we usually talk about everything as openly as we can manage.

这可是我们一开始就有意建立起来的，毕竟以前吃过亏。

It was something that we made sure to establish at the beginning due to our past experiences.

她突然这样，真的挺让人摸不着头脑的。

So this is very strange behavior coming from her.

我试着问她是不是吵架了，或者她爸说了什么、做了什么惹她不高兴，可她要么岔开话题，要么直接让我别再跟他来往，别再纠结这事。

I tried asking her if they had argued or if he had said or done something to upset her, but she changed the subject or flat out told me to just stop hanging out with him and move on.

我不确定该不该去问她爸，说实话，我也不想这么做。

I don't know if I should ask her father about this, and to be honest, it's not something that I wanna do.

只要我不提这事儿，一切都跟往常一样。

Everything's normal unless I bring up this subject.

就在今天，她还在聊她家准备下周给妹妹过生日的事，完全就像什么都没发生过一样。

Just today, she was talking about her family planning the birthday of her sister next week and it was like nothing was happening.

我不想在不了解背后原因的情况下做决定，可我又不知道该怎么弄清楚，又不把更多人牵扯进来。

I don't want to make decisions without knowing what's going on behind them, but I don't know how to get the answers without having to bring in more people into this.

有没有人能给我点建议？

Can anyone give me some insights?

五天后，发帖人更新了情况。

Then five days later, OP posted an update.

我发完帖后，决定先跟安妮谈谈我们的关系，父亲那边的事以后再慢慢问。

After I made the post, I decided the best route was to speak to Anne about our relationship and dig more into the father issue later.

这次让我没想到的是，她没多久就突然哭了。

To my surprise this time, it didn't take long because she just burst into tears.

她跟我保证我们之间没问题，但家里确实有事，而她本来不该告诉我这些。

She reassured me that everything was fine between us, but there was an issue with her parents and I wasn't supposed to know from her.

她现在特别生她爸爸的气，这也就是我们之间出问题的原因。

But she's very angry at her father and this was how the issue between us came to be.

她爸爸在外面有外遇，已经和那个女人来往十个月了。

Her father is having an affair and has been seeing this woman for ten months.

安妮妈妈一直被蒙在鼓里，直到他谎称要出去和我喝啤酒，后来安妮又发了张我们当晚在派对上的照片。

Anne's mother had no idea something was up until he said that he was going out with me for a beer, and then later, Anne sent a picture of me and her at a party that same night.

原来他约啤酒是故意找借口。

Oh, he set up the beer meetings to prepare an excuse.

这人也太卑鄙了。

Oh, that's so scummy.

后来他又找了我两次一起喝啤酒，这事儿挺怪的。

Then he went out twice to meet up with me for a beer, which was weird.

我们平时一个月才见一次面。

We only went out once a month.

但他跟老婆说，我是帮他出主意，帮他们家搞装修的。

But he told his wife that I was helping out with an idea for a project that he had for their house.

既然她那时候已经开始怀疑了，只要他说要出来找我，她就会去问安妮。

Since at this point she was suspicious, she started to check with Anne whenever he said that he was going out with me.

事情越来越明显，几周前，安妮的父亲终于坦白了。

Things started to get more obvious, and Anne's father ended up coming clean a few weeks ago.

他们把这事告诉了所有的孩子，但特别跟安妮谈了一次，因为父亲一直拿我的名字当借口，她妈妈觉得，他至少该亲自跟我道个歉。

They broke the news to their sons and daughters, but they had a special talk with Anne since her father had been using my name in this mess, and her mother thought that it was only right for him to talk to me and apologize.

安妮本来想忍着不说，结果还是爆发了，这才闹出了我们之间的矛盾。

Anne tried to keep quiet, but ended up lashing out, which caused the issue between us.

我和安妮的父亲确实谈过一次，那场面简直尴尬到极点。

I did have a talk with her father, and it was extremely awkward.

他向我道歉，说希望等一切都过去后，我们还能继续做朋友。

He apologized and said that he hoped that we could keep being friends once everything was settled.

不过我不确定能不能做到。

Don't know about that though.

Anne 也道了歉，但她真的被这件事打击得很厉害，所以我不会怪她。

Anne has also apologized, but this has really taken a toll on her, so I'm not holding it against her.

天啊，这事儿也太卑劣了吧。

Yo, that's such a scummy thing to do.

首先，被人这样当工具用，真的让人特别难受。

First, to be used in that way, that just really sucks.

但这自然而然地让 OP 和他女友之间的关系蒙上了阴影，因为女友第一反应肯定是：天哪。

But it kinda automatically creates distrust in OP's relationship with her girlfriend because the first thing the girlfriend is going to assume or worry about anyone would in that situation is, oh my god.

我男朋友是不是早就知道我爸在外面有外遇，还帮着隐瞒？

Is my boyfriend knowingly covering up my dad's affair?

说真的，这事儿太让人糟心了。

Which, man, this just sucks.

这人真够差劲的。

This guy sucks.

我们下一个帖子来自 r/relationship_advice。

Our next Reddit post is from r slash relationship advice.

我和我的未婚夫已经在一起四年了。

I've been with my fiance for four years.

我爱他，以前也尊重他，但他最近对这个无聊话题的执着，严重伤害了我对他的尊重。

I love him and I used to respect him, but his recent fixation on this dumb subject has really hurt my respect.

他是一年半前向我求婚的。

So he proposed one and a half years ago.

我答应了。

I said yes.

大约一年前，他得知自己的朋友在订婚前有过一百个伴侣，不知怎么的，这件事严重影响了他的心理，于是他提出了开放式关系。

About a year ago, he found out that his friend had slept with 100 women prior to getting engaged, and somehow this affected his psyche and he proposed an open relationship.

一开始我对此感到恶心，但他大闹一场后，我只好同意了。

At first I was disgusted by the thought, but I agreed after he threw a major meltdown.

所以我开始和朋友出去约会。

So I started going out with friends.

刚开始见的那几个男生，我特别紧张，毕竟之前我只和两个人谈过恋爱，包括我未婚夫。

The first few guys I was so nervous because I'd been with two guys, including my fiance prior.

但等我放松下来后，我发现只要没有要谈婚论嫁的压力，我特别擅长撩人，而且能明显放出‘来吧’的信号。

But after I got over the nerves, I realized that when there's no pressure to start a relationship, I'm really good at picking up dudes and sending vibes that I'm DTF.

过去一年里，我已经和42个男人有过关系。

I've been with 42 guys in the past year.

我从来没想过会这样，但说实话，我玩得特别开心。

I never thought it would happen, but I've enjoyed myself immensely.

但老实说，我现在已经想停了。

But honestly, I'd be ready to stop.

结果我发现我未婚夫根本搞不定这个，他在约会软件上约了两次，都搞得很糟。

But it turns out my fiance is not good at it, and he's had two really bad hookups from dating apps.

当我们讨论未来去向的时候，他一听说我跟这么多人有过关系，又崩溃了。

When we were having a where are we discussion, he had another meltdown when he found out how many guys I've been with.

他一直重复说：你睡过的数量是我二十倍？

He kept repeating, you've slept with 20 times the number I have?

二十倍？

20 times?

我说，要不咱们干脆别继续了。

I said maybe we should just stop.

他说不，他还没准备好，但现在他要定个规矩：我得先停一阵子，等他凑够十个为止。

He said no, that he wasn't ready, but now he wants to impose a rule that I have to take a break until he gets to ten.

等他每睡五个女生，我才能再去认识新的人。

Then I can go out and meet someone new every five girls that he sleeps with.

在我看来，这简直荒唐透顶。

To me, this is ridiculous.

这段经历最吸引我的，就是自由自在，不用事事报备。

Part of the fun of this was the independence and not checking in.

现在他居然真要我记日记，等他达成某个‘成就’，我才被允许做自己的事。

Now he literally wants me to keep a log, and then when he hits, like, an achievement, I can do my own thing.

这有多不靠谱啊？

How shifty is that?

说实话，我根本不想要那种得比谁睡得多、还得跟别人上床的关系。

And in all honesty, I don't want a relationship where we have to compare numbers, let alone screw other people.

我想要的是普通的生活，有孩子、有房子、还有一条狗。

I want a normal life with kids and a house and dog.

我们该说什么呢？

What are we supposed to say?

你跟五个女人睡完，我才能有自己的晚上？

I watch the kids until you screw five women, then it's my night.

是不是该直接说够了，然后分开算了？

Is it time to just say enough is enough and move on?

还有希望吗？

Is there any hope?

第二天，发帖人更新了动态。

Then the next day, OP posted an update.

所以，嗯，我猜我昨天上了 Reddit 的首页。

So, yeah, I guess I made it to the front page of Reddit yesterday.

我现在的前未婚夫彻底爆发了，一会儿骂我是荡妇，一会儿叫我兵痞，问我为什么要这么丢人，连带他也一起丢脸。

My now ex fiance absolutely blew up on me, alternating between calling me a whore and a grunt, asking me why I disgraced myself and him like that.

他还不断追问，像这种事以后我们该怎么办？

He also peppered the barrage with things like, what's gonna happen to us after this?

我直到凌晨三点才睡着，本来该去上班的。

I finally fell asleep at like 3AM, and I should have gone to work.

但在我终于承认必须和他分手后，我就请了病假。

But after finally admitting that I needed to break things off with him, I called in sick to work.

我去他家，请求进去，告诉他我们得好好谈一谈。

I went to my fiance's house, asked to come in, and told him we had to talk.

他说没错，是该谈谈。

He said we did.

但为了证明他那失控的自尊心有多强，他一开口就说：我得提前告诉你，我可能还没准备好接受你的道歉。

But as a testament to his effing out of control ego, he prefaced his part of the conversation with, I want you to know in advance I may not be ready to accept your apology.

去他的。

F him.

我本来想好好说的，但这也太过分了。

I planned on being nice, but that was too much.

我就直接告诉他，我们结束了。

I just told him it's over between us.

他那副惊讶的表情又可悲又可笑——明明刚才几个小时里骂了我一堆性别侮辱的词，却还是没想到我会提分手。

His look of surprise was a combination of pathetic and amusing because even after calling me all sorts of gendered slurs for the better part of a few hours, he still wasn't expecting me to break up with him.

他求我告诉他为什么。

He begged me to know why.

我觉得我对他说，他必须明白为什么，然后我就想走。

I think I told him that he had to know why and I tried to leave.

我不想跟他多说，转身想走，他却一直拦着我，还抓我的胳膊。

I had no desire to talk to him, so I tried to leave and he kept trying to block me and grab my arm.

最后我告诉他，要是他再不放我走，我就报警了。

I finally told him that if he didn't effing let me go, I was gonna call the cops.

他终于让开了，可我刚要开车走，他就冲出来砸我的驾驶座车窗。

He finally relented, but as I was trying to drive away, he came out and started punching my driver's side window.

吓死我了，但窗户没碎。

It was terrifying, but it didn't break.

从他家离开到我到家之间，他给我发了几十条消息，打了几十个电话。

Between leaving his place and getting to mine, he texted and called dozens of times.

我直接拉黑了他，连看都没看就把整个聊天记录删了。

I just blocked him and deleted the whole conversation without reading it.

他也一样，我兜里还揣着戒指，本来打算还给他。

F him too, because I had the ring in my pocket and I planned on giving it back.

但现在我太怕见他了，不敢去还，打算把戒指卖了，或者拿去熔掉。

But now I'm too scared to go see him to give it back, so I'm selling the thing or getting it melted down.

事情就这样了。

So that's that.

我也不清楚。

I don't know.

这帖估计会被删，不过没关系。

This will probably get removed, but it's all good.

我现在都乱套了，完全不知道该怎么办。

I don't know whether I'm coming or going at this point.

这几天真是够折腾的。

It's been a crazy couple of days.

三天后，楼主又发了一条更新，说她把戒指寄回去了，开始接受心理咨询，现在单身了。

Then three days later, OP posted another update just to say that she mailed the ring back, started therapy, and is now single.

每次看到这种故事，我都挺意外的——明明是双方同意开放式关系，男方却惊讶女方追男人比自己追女人容易多了。

It always surprises me in these stories when a couple gets into an open relationship and the dude is shocked that the girl has an easier time picking up guys than the guy has picking up girls.

女生真的可以直接走过去，跟男生说：嗨。

Girls can literally come up to a guy and be like, hey.

要不要睡一觉？

You wanna bang?

有时候，就这么简单。

Sometimes that's all it takes.

男生得真下功夫才行。

Guys have to really put in the work.

所以啊，你到底指望啥呢？

So, like, dude, what were you expecting?

我们下一个帖子来自 r/relationship_advice。

Our next Reddit post is from r slash relationship advice.

我和男朋友已经交往一年了。

My boyfriend and I have been dating for one year.

他个子很高，长得也很帅。

He's a very tall, attractive guy.

他在大学时打冰球，那支队伍简直就像一群兄弟会男生。

He was on the hockey team in university, and his team was kinda like a bunch of frat dudes.

但他从来不像那种人。

But he never seemed like that kinda guy.

他对我一直特别温柔、体贴。

He was always very kind and sensitive with me.

他看起来也是一个非常有礼貌、体贴的人。

He also seems to be a very respectful and caring person.

他现在正在读医学院。

He's in medical school right now.

昨天他以前队里的几个朋友过来找他，就坐在一起聊天放松。

Some of his buddies from his former team came over yesterday and were just talking and hanging out.

他们开始聊起大学时那些胡闹的事。

They started talking about their old shenanigans in university.

我男朋友说，你还记得那次我打破了‘胖女孩挑战’的纪录吗？

My boyfriend said, remember that time I broke the record for our chunky chick challenge?

我问他什么是‘胖女孩挑战’，他说目标是一周内约尽可能多的胖女孩出来。

I asked what the chunky chick challenge was, and he said the goal was to ask out as many fat girls in a week.

大家都会往奖池里凑钱，到周末时，赢的人拿走全部奖金。

Everyone would put money in the prize pool, and the winner would get the entire prize at the end of the week.

他差不多通过短信和当面搭讪了五十个胖女孩，偷偷录下她们的回应，然后约好见面却直接消失。

Basically, he asked out, like, 50 fat girls over text and in person, secretly recording their conversation, and then he ghosted them on the date.

我特别震惊，说这太残忍了，太恶心了。

I was shocked and said that was so mean and gross.

我男朋友说，那只是个玩笑，图个乐子。

My boyfriend said the challenge was just a joke for fun.

他还说我反应过度了。

He accused me of overreacting.

四天后，发帖人更新了动态。

Then four days later, OP posted an update.

朋友走后，我直接质问他，说我真的很担心他对那些女孩的态度。

I confronted my boyfriend after his friends left and told him that I was genuinely concerned about his treatment of those girls.

我说他缺乏同理心，我简直不敢相信他看不出自己做的事有多错。

I said he lacked empathy, and I can't believe he doesn't see what was wrong with his actions.

他终于承认，没错，他确实做得过分了。

He finally acknowledged that, yes, what he did was mean.

他说他不想在朋友面前显得太无趣。

He says he didn't want to seem boring to his friends.

我说我觉得他不该是这样的人。

I said I thought that he was better than that.

我告诉他，我担心如果将来我胖了，他会怎么对我。

I told him I was worried about how he would treat me if I gained weight in the future.

他说我这种人从来都不会胖。

He said that I was the type of person to always stay skinny.

我说他不能这么肯定，尤其是万一我怀孕了。

I said he can't be so sure of that, especially if I get pregnant.

我说他这种肤浅让我感到害怕。

I said I was scared by his shallowness.

总之，我跟他分手了。

Long story short, I broke up with him.

他很难过，一直在发消息向我道歉。

He's super sad and has been apologizing nonstop via text.

不管他说什么，我都无法忘记他对别人的残忍。

No matter what he says, I just can't get his cruelty out of my head.

这让我对他完全没了感觉，我也不想跟这种人扯上关系。我刚当上护士，就在厌食症诊所工作，每天都能看到那些刻薄的言语和行为对年轻女孩造成的伤害。

It's made me much less attracted to him, and I don't want to be associated with that kind of person, as I'm a new grad nurse in an eating disorder clinic, and I see the kind of effect that rude comments and actions have on young women.

有个十几岁的女患者得了厌食症，就是因为以前胖，被同学欺负过。

One of the teenage girl patients is anorexic because she used to be fat and bullied in school.

一想到我前任竟然和那些欺负她的孩子一模一样，我就觉得恶心。

I'm disgusted to think that my boyfriend embodies the cruelty of her bullies.

是啊。

Yeah.

最让人受不了的是，这根本不是他过去干过的事，现在后悔了那种。

What makes this so bad is it's not like this is some old bullying that he did a long time ago and now he regrets it.

那种情况也够糟的了。

That still would have been bad.

但他现在、最近，还在拿这事开玩笑，轻描淡写，说明他根本一点悔意都没有。

But he, today, recently, was still making light about it and joking about it, which means the dude has no remorse.

他要是再有机会，肯定还会干同样的事，就为了在朋友面前装酷。

He would happily do it again just to impress his friends.

刚才那段是 r/bestof 的网友动态精选。

That was r slash best of Redditor updates.

如果你喜欢这类内容，记得关注我的播客，我每天都会更新新的 Reddit 主题内容。

And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.