Listening With Your Eyes - Sales Influence Podcast - SIP 611

欢迎收听销售影响力播客，我们将探讨人们购买行为背后的原因。

Welcome to the Sales Influence Podcast where we talk about finding the why in how people buy.

我是您的主持人安东尼奥。

I'm your host, Antonio.

感谢您再次加入我们。

Thank you for joining me again.

今天，我们要讨论的是用眼睛倾听。

Today, we're gonna talk about listening with your eyes.

用眼睛倾听。

Listening with your eyes.

当我们与客户交谈时，有时——这不一定是客户，也可能是你与朋友、家人、同事、配偶或伴侣等任何人的社交互动——用眼睛倾听，其实是指观察那些并非通过言语传达的信息，而是通过他们的肢体语言传递出的信号。

Now, sometimes when we're talking to a client, and it doesn't have to be a client, it could be any individual social interaction you may have with a friend, family member, colleague, spouse, partner, whatever it may be, listening with your eyes is really about observing what is being transmitted, not through the mouth, what they're saying, but more by what their body is telling you.

而我们常常忽略了用眼睛倾听。

And too often we don't listen with our eyes.

我们总是只用耳朵倾听。

We're always listening with our ears.

但有时候，只要我们多加留意，就能捕捉到更多的视觉线索。

But sometimes we can pick up more visual cues if we simply pay attention.

例如，当你问某人一个问题时，尤其是问客户一个棘手的问题，可能是关于预算的问题。

For example, when you ask somebody a question, especially when you ask a customer a question and you're asking a tough question, it could be one on budget.

也可能是关于时间的问题。

It could be one on timing.

也可能是关于需求，或者说是权威的问题。

It could be one on need or, you know, authority.

他们能做出购买决策吗？

Do can they make a buying decision?

比如，客户先生，除了您之外，还有谁会参与购买决策？

Like, mister customer, besides you, who else will be involved in making a buying decision?

这是个棘手的问题。

Tough question.

对吧？

Right?

先生，这个项目的预算已经分配好了吗？

Mister customer, has the budget been allocated for this project already?

通过提出这些问题，您只需要观察对方的肢体语言即可。

And by asking these questions, all you need to do is observe body language.

您需要留意或观察的是他们身体姿态的变化，比如是否向前倾。

And what you're listening for or watching for is shifts in their body, how they lean forward.

可能会向前倾，也可能向后靠，双臂交叉，或者稍微摆弄一下笔或铅笔，等等。

May lean forward, may lean back, cross their arms, maybe fidget a little bit with a pen or a pencil, whatever it may be.

我希望您真正开始关注肢体语言。

What I want you to do is really start paying attention to body language.

仔细地看，非常仔细地看。

Really, really look.

用眼睛去听。

Listen with your eyes.

我见过一些客户，当他们回答问题时，如果感到非常自在并准备做出决定，就会稍微向后靠。

Now, I've seen customers, when they answer a question, when they're real comfortable and ready to make a decision, they kind of just lean back.

他们往后一靠，就说：‘维克托，实话跟你说吧。’

They lean back and just say, You know, Victor, here's the deal.

对吧？

Right?

或者如果他们非常专注且有紧迫感，我会看到他们直接向前倾身。

Or if they're real intense and there's some urgency, I've seen people just lean into me, just lean forward.

我特别喜欢这种肢体语言。

And I love that type of body language.

所以，你必须学会解读这些信号。

So again, you have to learn how to read these.

身体前倾或后仰是好是坏，取决于说话的内容，但你要留意肢体语言，当然也要听语气，更要用心去看，观察他们的肢体动作。

Leaning in or leaning back can be good or bad depending on what's being said, but watch that body language, listen for tone obviously, but also listen with your eyes and watch their body language.

我经常看到，当你问他们棘手的问题时，他们会低下头，不敢与你对视，那种低头的样子，从他们的脸上就能看出某种表情。

What I've seen a lot of people do when you ask them tough questions, the question is that they look down, they don't look you in the eyes, so that whole looking down, you can just see on their face there's a certain expression that they have.

你现在可能在想，你能察觉到这些吗？

Now, you're wondering, can you pick up on that?

是的，你可以。

Yes, you can.

我来证明给你看。

I'll prove it to you.

你有多少次第一次见到某人时，就立刻觉得：我不喜欢这个人？

How many times have you met somebody for the first time and you go, I don't like this person?

你立刻就下了判断。

Immediately, you draw judgment.

这种判断是从哪里来的？

And where'd that judgment come from?

这个判断来自于你从对方身上获得的视觉线索。

The judgment came from the visual cues you got from individual.

很多这些信号，这些视觉线索，都是在潜意识层面发生的，你能看到，但并不清楚自己在看什么。

And a lot of these signals, these visual cue signals, are at a subconscious level where you're seeing it but you're not conscious of what you're looking at.

你只是觉得这个人哪里不对劲。

You just know that something about this person is just not right.

我再给你举个例子。

I'll give you another example.

你有没有走进一个你很熟悉的地方，然后觉得有什么地方不一样了？

You ever walk into a room that you're familiar with and you go, something changed.

虽然你不知道具体是什么，但你的潜意识已经察觉到变化了。

Now, you don't know what, but at a subconscious level, your brain picked up something changed.

我们的大脑就是这样运作的。

That's how our brain works.

所以有时候，当我们遇见某人时，就会觉得哪里不对劲。

So sometimes we know when we meet somebody, something's not right.

因此，要保持警觉，留意当你遇见某人或听到某人说话时，那些细微的感觉，尤其是当对方说的话听起来不太对劲的时候。

And so be aware, be in tune with all these little feelings you get when you meet somebody or when somebody is saying something to you that maybe doesn't sound right.

他们说了什么是一回事，但他们的身体语言又是另一回事。

Now, what they say is one thing, but what their body does is another thing.

你有没有遇到过这种情况：对方说‘是的，我很感兴趣’，但语气听起来却不对劲？

You ever have that happen to you where the person says, Yes, I'm interested, but the tone doesn't sound right.

那些话正好说到了你想听的内容。

The words came out exactly what you wanted to hear.

是的，我们有兴趣，但语气不对。

Yes, we're interested, but the tone wasn't right.

而且他们的肢体语言也与说‘是的，我们有兴趣’时应有的状态不一致。

But also the body language wasn't in tune with somebody saying, Yes, we're interested.

突然间，你就觉得有什么地方不对劲。

And all of a sudden you say something's not right.

最好的销售人员知道不能用‘开心的耳朵’去听。

Now, the best salespeople know not to listen with happy ears.

我们说的‘开心的耳朵’是什么意思？

What do we call happy ears?

就是你只听你希望听到的部分，好让自己开心。

When you just listen to what you want so you can be happy.

换句话说，不管客户说什么，你只关注那些积极的信息。

In other words, no matter what the customer says, you're only listening to the positive stuff.

你没有注意到那些负面的信号或线索。

You're not picking up on the negative signals or cues.

而且，有时候身体是无法说谎的。

And again, sometimes the body can't lie.

这个人可以说他们想说的话，给出正确的答案，但真正传递一切的是他们的身体。

The person can say what they want to say, give you the right answer, but it's their body that transmits everything.

所以，我再次强调，你要仔细观察他们的坐姿、姿态，当你提出那些棘手的问题时——记住这一点，当你问那些促成交易的问题、封闭式问题、承诺类问题时，比如‘你什么时候做购买决定？’

So again, I want you to really look at how they're sitting, what their posture is, and when you ask them that tough question, and keep this in mind when you're asking those commitment questions, those close ended questions, those commitment questions, when you ask those tough questions, like when will you be making a buying decision?

我们有什么理由继续推进呢？

Is there any reason we should move forward?

周一或周二，对你来说哪天更方便见面？

Will Monday or Tuesday be better for you in terms of getting together?

注意那些肢体语言的线索，因为当你约对方见面时，如果他们突然说‘我觉得周二可以’，但你却看到他们坐立不安，那就说明有问题。

Look for those body language cues, because if you're asking somebody for a meeting and all of a sudden they say, Well, I think Tuesday will work, but yet you can see them squirming in their chair, then you know something's wrong.

他们刚才说的话里有些不对劲。

Something's not right in what they just said.

然后你就可以这样说。

And then you can just say something like this.

你似乎对周二见面有点犹豫。

You seem to be a little hesitant for meeting you on Tuesday.

我可以问一下为什么吗？

Can I ask why?

现在你正在做一点读心术，这正是有趣的地方。

Now, what you're doing is a little bit of mind reading right now, and this is the interesting part.

最优秀的销售人员几乎就像读心者。

The best salespeople are almost like mind readers.

他们能进入客户的内心。

They're inside the customer's head.

他们捕捉到这些信号，并能根据客户所说或说话的方式，更重要的是根据他们的肢体语言，拼凑出客户的想法。

They're picking up these signals, and they're able to piece together what this customer is thinking just based on what they're saying or how they're saying it, but more importantly, on their body language.

再次强调，我们实际上有两条渠道，甚至是三条渠道。

Again, we've two channels, really three channels.

我们在倾听，我们在观察，同时也在留意。

We're listening, we're seeing, but also we're watching.

如果你能将这三个渠道的信息整合起来，加以处理，这就是最优秀的销售人员所做的，而这需要时间，完全依赖经验。

And if you can bring all these three channels together, process that information, that's what the best salespeople do, and this takes time and is all about experience.

当你观察肢体语言时，比如，当一个人双臂交叉时，你就能明显感觉到他们可能不想和你交谈。

When you look at body language, example, you can just tell when somebody closes their arms, they cross their arms, that basically means maybe they don't want to talk to you.

他们已经不想继续了。

They're done.

那这个呢？

Or how about this?

你正和某人面对面、肩并肩地交谈，你们是正对着的，但对方却开始慢慢侧身，以侧对着你的姿势和你说话。

You're talking to somebody face to face, shoulder to shoulder, you're squared off shoulder to shoulder, but then the person begins to turn sideways and talk to you like sideways.

这表明他们其实并不感兴趣。

And that's an indication that they're really not interested.

当然，还有很多不同的肢体语言信号你可以捕捉，但我也一直提醒自己，要努力读懂肢体语言。

Again, there's different body language cues you can pick up on, but also, you know, I always challenge myself to try to read body language.

我最喜欢练习解读肢体语言的地方之一就是电梯里。

One of my favorite places to practice interpreting body language is in an elevator.

是的，你没听错。

Yes, you just heard that correctly.

我特别喜欢在电梯里练习。

I love practicing in an elevator.

我经常这么做。

I do this all the time.

这让我妻子很烦。

It irritates my wife.

但我总是试图弄清楚，怎样才能让电梯里的那个人主动和我聊天，或者怎样才能和他们展开对话？

But I always try to figure out, how can I make the person in the elevator either talk to me or how can I engage them in a conversation?

我总是留意所有细节。

And I'm always looking at everything.

比如，我走进电梯时，会看到某个人。

For example, I can walk into an elevator and I'll see somebody.

如果他们双臂交叉、低着头，那就说明他们不想说话。

If they're kind of like, you know, get arms crossed and got their head down, they don't want to talk.

这是他们在表达：我不想说话，我正在想别的事情，对吧？

That's their I don't want to talk, I'm thinking about something, right?

所以这是我能捕捉到的一个信号。

So that's one signal that I can pick up on.

我还能通过他们的穿着来判断。

I can also pick up on how they're dressed.

如果穿着西装，那这个人是来谈正事的，对吧？

If it's a business suit, this person's here for business, right?

如果穿着人字拖，那这个人是在度假，对吧？

If they're wearing flip flops, this person's on vacation, right?

所以这是另一个视觉线索。

So that's another visual cue.

到目前为止，我已经结合了两个因素：身体姿态和穿着打扮。

So, so far I've put two things together: body posture, how they're standing, and then how they're dressed.

两个明显的信号，对吧？

Two big signals, right?

我可以观察他们的面部表情。

I can look at their face and see their expression.

即使表情很轻微，我也能大致判断出他们的情绪。

Even if it's done, I can kind of get an idea of their expression.

如果我看到他们的表情，就能大致推测他们在想什么。

And if I see their expression, I can kind of get an idea of what they're thinking.

此外，我总是留意他们手里拿着什么。

Now also, I always look at what are they holding.

比如，如果有人走进来，手里提着行李箱把手，那就意味着他们要么是刚到，要么是要离开。

Now for example, if somebody's walking in and they're holding their luggage, right, the handle, that means they're either arriving or they're leaving.

对吧？

Right?

如果是穿西装，同样的问题。

If it's a business suit, same question.

你是来抵达的吗？

Are you arriving?

你是要离开吗？

Are you leaving?

你是来参加商务会议的吗？

Are you here for a business meeting?

你的生意做完了？

Are you done doing business?

还有个有趣的现象是，如果他们带着行李进来，而你正往上走，这说明了什么？

What's also fascinating is that if they're entering with luggage and you're going up, what does that tell you?

他们刚到，才刚刚抵达。

They're here, they're just getting here.

如果他们提着行李，穿着商务西装往下走，那就是要离开某个地方，对吧？

Now, if they got their luggage and they're going down with their business suit, they're leaving somewhere, right?

所以，这些都是一些你可以快速整合的信息，用来作为与人交谈的切入点。

So again, these are pieces of information that you can can just put together real quickly to use as ways to actually have a conversation with people.

另外，我总是再观察一下，当他们拿着东西时，是不是拿着两杯咖啡？

Also, I always look at it again, when they're holding something, are they holding two cups of coffee?

如果有人拿着两杯咖啡，这说明了什么？

If somebody's holding two cups of coffee, what does that tell you?

很明显，他们是想把其中一杯带给别人。

Obviously they're taking some of the cup to somebody else.

要么就是他们特别喜欢喝咖啡，但如果他们手里提着包、抱着婴儿，这种情况通常意味着别的东西。

Either that or they just like a lot of coffee, but that typically means something if they're holding bags, if they're holding a baby.

这些都是你需要留意的视觉线索。

These are all visual cues that you need to pick up on.

我只是用电梯作为例子，因为在电梯里，你能看出的信息多得惊人。

I'm just using the elevator as an example, because in an elevator it's amazing how much you can tell.

如果你只是观察、用眼睛去聆听，看他们穿什么、拿什么、站姿如何、表情怎样，电梯里其实正在上演一个故事，你马上就能了解这个人很多信息。

There's a story being told here in the elevator if you just look, if you just listen with your eyes, if you look at what they're wearing, if you look at what they're holding, if you look at how they're standing, if you look at their expressions, you can tell a lot about that person right away.

你甚至可以通过他们衣服的品质，为这些判断增添更多层次。

You can even judge the quality of the clothes that they're wearing to really add some layers to this.

那么，为什么这一切又很重要呢？这和商业有什么关系？

Now, why is this all important again, and what does it have to do with business?

当我们去见客户时，无论是一对一、一对多，还是在咖啡馆见面，都没关系，你的任务是观察、用眼睛倾听，注意他们是如何走进来的，手里拿着什么，有哪些物品，是否准备好了做笔记，是用电脑吗，他们带了什么，是穿着休闲，还是更正式？

When we go in to see a customer, whether it's one on one, one to a group, or meeting at a coffee shop, doesn't matter, your job is to read, to listen with your eyes, look for how did they walk in the door, what are they holding, what do they have in their hands, are they ready to take notes, is it the computer, what do they have, are they coming in casual, are they coming in more businesslike?

所有这些细节。

Again, all these things.

观察他们的走路方式。

Look at how they're walking.

观察他们的面部表情。

Look at their facial expressions.

所有这些都能告诉你这个人的心态如何，而这正是我们所需要的。

All this tells you where this person's state of mind might be, and that's all we need.

我们需要一个合理的推测。

We need a good guess.

这个人的心理状态如何？

Where is this person mentally at?

只要理解他们所处的状态，你就能真正与他们建立联系。

And simply understanding where they're at, you can actually engage them.

有一句俗语说，通过改变你对别人的态度，就有可能改变他们的行为。

There's a saying that said it's possible to change other people's behavior by changing one's attitude towards them.

我一直以来都很喜欢这句话：通过改变你对别人的态度，就有可能改变他们的行为。

And I've always loved that statement, it's possible to change other people's behavior by changing your attitude towards them.

我的意思是，当你遇到一个可能不愿参与对话的人时，首先，我们要尊重这一点，但也许可以试着理解他们的处境。

And by that I mean is when you see somebody who maybe doesn't want to engage in a conversation, well, maybe, one, let's be respectful of that, but maybe try to understand where they're coming from.

他们心理上在想什么？他们在关注什么？

Where are they mentally at, what are they thinking about.

同样，很多信息可以通过视觉上的观察来获取。

And again, a lot of this can come from visually listening to what's going on.

他们的肢体语言在向你传递什么信息？

What is their body telling you?

他们的穿着透露了他们当前的状态吗？

What is their clothes telling you about where they're at?

面部表情，他们表现出什么情绪？

Facial expressions, what are they holding?

从肢体动作来看，他们在做什么？

Kinesthetically, what are they doing?

所有这些都能告诉你这个人所处的状态，他们的心理状态如何。

All this tells you where this person is, where their state of mind is.

我再回到销售这个话题上。

And again, I bring it back to sales.

每次我们走进一个房间、走进电梯、走进会议时，我们的任务都是快速评估对方的心理状态，以便通过理解他们的心理状态更有效地进行销售。

Every time we walk into a room, every time we walk into an elevator, every time we walk into a meeting, our job is to quickly assess where the mental state of the individual we're talking to is so we can sell to them more effectively by understanding their mental state.

希望这能帮助你更快地建立联系，迅速建立默契。

And hopefully that'll help you connect faster and build rapport quickly.

本期《销售影响力》播客就到这里。

That is it for this Sales Influence Podcast.

如果你喜欢这个关于肢体语言的话题，请告诉我。

Me know if you like this topic on body language.

我有一整套丰富的素材，可以融入到销售影响力播客中。

I got a whole library of stuff that I can kinda bring into the sales influence podcast.

如果你喜欢这个话题，请给我反馈。

If you love this topic, give me your feedback.

同时，别忘了在 iTunes、Stitcher 或 YouTube 上给我留下反馈。

In the meantime, don't forget to leave me some feedback on iTunes, Stitcher, or YouTube.

告诉我你的想法。

Let me know what you think.

和往常一样，我非常感激。

As always, I greatly appreciate it.

另外，了解一下我的在线销售培训平台。

Also, check out my online sales training platform.

你知道的，就是销售速度学院。

You know the deal, the Sales Velocity Academy.

现在有超过25门课程，近400个视频，还有我的13本书籍，我们每个月都在新增课程。

Over 25 courses, almost 400 videos now, my 13 books, and we're adding new courses every month.

如果你想提升销售速度，请访问 salesvelocityacademy.com。

If you wanna increase your sales velocity, go to salesvelocityacademy.com.

最后，感谢您的收听。

Lastly, I wanna thank you for listening.

我是维克托·安东尼奥，始终提醒您：只要懂得方法，销售并不难。

This is Victor Antonio always reminding you, selling ain't hard when you know how.

保重。

Take care.

你好。

Hi.

我是维克托·安东尼奥。

I'm Victor Antonio.

我是一名作家、销售培训师和主题演讲者。

I'm an author, sales trainer, and keynote speaker.

我经常被人问到，什么才是一位优秀的演讲者？

I'm often asked what makes a great speaker?

是那种能提供观众真正能用上的真实内容的人吗？

Is it someone who delivers real content that the audience can use?

是那种能让观众参与其中，成为学习体验一部分的人吗？

Is it someone who engages the audience so they're part of the learning experience?

还是那种能激励观众突破舒适区、发现新能力的人？

Or is it someone who can motivate an audience to push them beyond their comfort zone and discover new abilities?

答案是：是的。

The answer is yes.

但最重要的是要记住，我并不是为了让自己看起来很棒。

But the most important thing to remember is that I'm not there to look good.

我是为了让我客户看起来很棒。

I'm there to make my client look good.

简单来说，这从来不是关于我，而是始终关于他们。

Simply put, it's never about me and it's always about them.