Dipsea作品《人物》- 第一章：聆听与学习

我当初是心血来潮才申请了这个项目。

I'd applied to the program on a whim.

说真的，任何一个雕塑家都梦寐以求能进杜勒姆马丁学院，那是全球最古老、最顶尖的美术项目之一。

Short, any sculptor would have killed for a spot at the Durham Martin Institute, one of the oldest, best fine arts programs in the world.

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

但我从来不在乎什么名声地位。

But I'd never really given a shit about prestige.

不知怎么的，名声倒偏偏盯上了我。

For some reason though, prestige seemed to give a shit about me.

我一拿到密歇根艺术奖，立刻就被人推到了聚光灯下。

Once I won the Michigan Art Prize, suddenly there was a spotlight on me.

这位才华横溢的年轻女艺术家，接下来会做什么呢？

What's this talented young woman going to do next?

我当时就愣住了。

Well, I froze.

过去这一年，我待在缅因州的家里，浑浑噩噩，没个方向。

For the past year, I'd been living at home in Maine, floating, directionless.

我什么都不想做，但我知道我必须做点什么。

I didn't want to do anything, but I knew I had to do something.

所以当我拿到全额奖学金时，我想，去法国海岸外的一个岛上过个夏天，至少不至于太糟，至少能想想接下来该干嘛。

So when I got accepted on full scholarship, I figured spending the summer on an island off the coast of France wasn't the worst place to figure out what the hell I was going to do next.

学校本身有两百多年历史，规模庞大。

The school itself was over two centuries old and massive.

入学材料上说所有工作室都是最新的，可当我拖着行李走过挂满挂毯的走廊时，总觉得像是穿越回了过去。

The welcome packet had promised that all the studios were up to date, but as I hauled my luggage through the tapestried halls, I couldn't help but feel like I'd slipped into the past.

东翼，二楼，右边那扇门。

East Wing, 2nd Floor, door on the right.

哦。

Oh.

不好意思。

I Excuse me.

我

I

我本该把门关上，可门卡住了。

should have shut the door, but it froze.

她年纪不小，气质出众，却只穿了一半衣服。

She was older, striking, and half naked.

哦。

Oh.

我认识你吗？

Do do I do I know you?

不好意思。

Excuse me.

抱歉。

Sorry.

对不起。

I'm sorry.

该死。

Shit.

该死。

Shit.

喂？

Hello?

哦，谢天谢地。

Oh, thank God.

我努力喘口气的时候，她的身影却深深印在了我脑子里。

As I tried to catch my breath, her body etched itself in my mind.

她一手拨开银金色的头发，露出脖子，内衣的薄丝料被胸部撑得紧绷，那一瞬间，欲望猛地袭来。

Her hands holding her silvery blonde hair away from her neck, her breasts stretching the sheer silk of her bra, desire flashed through me.

到了当天第一节课，我找了个远离别人的角落坐下。

When I got to my first class of the day, I found a space away from everyone else.

我其实不想见人，可一个戴角质框眼镜的高个子男人却离开人群，径直朝我走来。

I wasn't really feeling like company, but a tall man in horn rimmed glasses broke off from the rest of the group and waltzed right over to me.

著名的伊莎贝拉·勒维克。

The famous Isabella Levesque.

嘿，我是不是在哪儿见过你？

Hey, do I know you?

我们见过面的，伊莱亚斯·奈特。

We've met Elias Knight.

恭喜啊。

Congratulations, by the way.

就是那个艺术奖。

The art prize.

美国人搞这个奖，还挺赶时髦的。

Very trendy for an American award.

奖。

Award.

你怎么会知道这件事？

How do you know about that?

在圈子里，消息总归是会传开的。

You know, word gets around in the right circles.

嗯，大概是吧。

I guess so.

现在这儿都让什么人进来了，真是可惜。

It's a shame who they let in here these days.

这儿一半的人我连听都没听过。

Half the people here I haven't even heard of.

我真差点就不来了。

I swear I was this close to not showing up.

我申请只是因为知道塞西莉亚·阿库特会来授课。

I only applied because I knew Cecelia Arquette was gonna be teaching.

其实呢，我刚才还在和项目负责人聊天。

Well, actually I was chatting with the head of the program.

这是我以前的导师。

This is an old mentor of mine.

他再三恳求我来参加。

And he begged me to attend.

看来咱们这是在帮他的忙，你和我。

So looks like we're doing him a favor, you and I.

当然。

Sure.

我在布鲁克林有自己的工作室，可这儿却是大家一起用的。

I mean in Brooklyn, have my own studio and here we have this whole shared

我一看到走进来的人，差点转过身去躲脸。

When I saw who walked in the room, I almost swiveled in my seat to hide my face.

就是我之前撞见的那位女士。

It was the woman I'd walked in on earlier.

我希望她别坐我旁边。

I hoped she wouldn't sit next to me.

她朝教室前面走去，把包放在了讲台上。

She started making her way to the front of the classroom and set her purse on the teacher's desk.

天哪。

Oh, fuck.

大家好，同学们。

Bonjour, class.

你们一定为自己感到骄傲吧。

You all must be very proud of yourselves.

能被这个项目录取，可不是件小事。

This is no small honor receiving acceptance into this program.

但真正的挑战，这才刚刚开始。

However, this is where the real work begins.

她一头银白色的头发挽成了发髻。

Her silver blonde hair was up in a bun.

有几缕头发垂了下来，衬得她的眼睛格外分明。

A few wisps had fallen down framing her eyes.

她穿得一丝不苟，从挂钩上取下一件满是泥巴的旧围裙，系在了脖子上。

Her outfit was immaculate and she grabbed a worn apron covered in clay from a hook and hung it around her neck.

这些动作对她来说就像本能一样自然。

It seems like second nature to her.

我知道在座的人不多，但我来自法国，我们讲究传统。

I know there aren't that many of you, but I'm French and we are traditional.

所以我要点个名。

So I'm going to take role.

库马拉·班纳吉。

Kumarah Banerjee.

在。

Yes.

我在这儿。

I'm here.

嗯。

Mhmm.

米迦·伯顿。

Micah Burton.

你好。

Hello.

我不由得被她的语调吸引住了，她即使靠在凳子上，依然有种让人无法忽视的气场。

I found myself struck by the cadence of her voice, the way she still commanded attention leaning back on her stool.

她实在太吸引人了，我都忘了之前看到她穿内衣时有多尴尬。

She intrigued me so much, I forgot to be mortified about seeing her in her underwear earlier.

伊莱亚斯·奈特？

Elias Knight?

在。

Present.

阿拉贝拉·吕维斯克？

Arabella Luvesque?

在这儿。

Here.

就叫列夫。

It's just Lev.

对。

Mhmm.

列夫。

Lev.

她那样盯着我，像只猫似的，害得我手心直冒汗。

Something in the cat like way she held my gaze made my palms start sweat.

她点点头，在夹板上记了下来，手指有力，每个字母都写得一丝不苟，好像生怕记漏了。

She nodded and made a note on her clipboard, her strong fingers printing each letter carefully as if she didn't wanna forget.

不行。

No.

不是。

Not

真的不是。

really.

好的。

Okay.

非常。

Very

不错。

good.

你们每个人都是有成就的艺术家，但总还有东西可以学。

You're all accomplished artists in your own right, but there's always something to learn.

她拿起一块黏土，心不在焉地揉捏着，一边说话一边在两手之间传来传去。

She'd picked up a piece of clay and was molding it absent mindedly, passing it from hand to hand as she spoke.

我希望你能这样看待这块黏土。

I want you to think about the clay this way.

明白吗？

Okay?

把它当成一个你和它之间有关系的东西。

As something you have a relationship with.

你得真正了解它。

You have to know it.

你的双手就是你的乐器，是你真正认识它的途径。

Your hands are your instrument, your true way of knowing.

明白吗？

Okay?

重要的不是你看到了什么，而是你感受到了什么。

It's what you feel, not just what you see that matters.

我能感觉到，所有人都朝她靠拢，专心听着她说话，就连她停顿沉默的时候也是如此。

I could feel everyone leaning towards her, waiting on her words, even in the easy silences she created.

就连埃利斯也难以吸引大家的注意力。

Even Elias couldn't manage to pull focus.

从外面看，有些东西可能显得不对劲。

From the outside, something may look like it's not right.

它就是行不通。

It doesn't work.

这根本行不通。

It'll never work.

这时候你就得相信自己的感觉。

That's when you have to trust what you feel.

相信这个过程。

Trust the process.

稀有、卓越、真正完美的滋味，这些都是可能实现的。

Rarity, brilliance, a taste of true perfection, all of that is possible.

她说这话的时候，直直地看着我。

She looked directly at me as she said this.

好的。

Okay.

那一瞬间，我感觉她只在对我一个人说话。

And for a moment it felt like she was only talking to me.

好。

K.

你有什么感觉

What do you feel

说的不只是艺术。

Talking about more than art.

相信你感受到的。

Trust what you're sensing.

明白吗？

Okay?

相信你脚尖上那种感觉。

Trust what you feel at the tip of your feet.

那天剩下的时间，我们都在陶土中聊个不停。

The rest of the day passed in a whirl of conversation in clay.

我沉浸得太深了，以至于最后爬上楼梯回到房间时，根本没注意到塞西莉亚正从对面的楼梯走上来。

I was so deep in my head that when I finally made it up the last staircase to my room, I didn't even notice Cecelia coming from the opposite stairwell.

走廊里只有我们两个人，相隔不过几米。

We were the only two in the hallway, only a few yards apart.

又见面了。

Hello again.

看来你找到房间了。

Seems like you found your room.

是的。

Yeah.

真的很抱歉，刚才那场意外。

I'm so sorry about that total accident.

这所学校的所有门都没任何标识。

None of the doors in this school have any looks.

我跟其他老师抱怨这个已经八年了。

I've been complaining about it to the other faculty for eight years.

这真不是你的错。

It's it's not your fault.

不过，教授，这种事不会再发生了。

Still, it won't happen again, professor.

你可以叫我塞西莉亚，利夫。

You can call me Cecelia, Lev.

我所有的学生都这么叫。

All of my students do.

我躺在床上，闭上眼睛，想让自己放松一下。

I laid in my bed and closed my eyes trying to relax.

海风吹进房间，伴随着稳定的星光。

The sea air washed through the room along with a steadiness of starlight.

我的身体从未这么累过，但脑子里却不断回放着塞西莉亚半裸的样子——她弯腰整理衣柜时背部的弧线，还有她那深邃的目光，仿佛把空气都从我肺里挤了出去。

My body had never been so tired, but my mind kept replaying Cecelia half dressed, the arc of her back as she bent over the dresser, her dark stare that pressed the air out of my lungs.

光是想着这些，我就感觉身体开始发热。

I could feel myself getting wet just thinking about it.

突然，我听见墙那边传来一阵模糊的声音，她的声音离我这么近，就像一根点燃的火柴碰到了我的神经。

Suddenly, I heard a muffled voice through the wall, Hearing her voice so close to me was like a lit match against my nerves.

我一下子变得无比清醒，双腿之间那种隐隐的酸胀感也变得格外清晰。

I was suddenly very, very awake and aware of the ache between my legs.

我脱下裤子，在凉爽的床单上轻轻挪动，手伸进内裤，开始缓缓地画着圈。

I slid my pants off, shifting in the cool sheets, slipped my hand into my underwear and started making slow circles on my clit.

我知道得保持安静。

I knew I had to stay quiet.

如果我能听见她，她也能听见我，可这反而让每一种感觉更加强烈。

If I could hear her, she could hear me, but that only made each sensation more intense.

我想象着她仰起脸时那副沉醉的样子，笑起来眼角微微弯起的模样。

I imagined her face tipped back in pleasure, The way her eyes crinkled when she smiled.

她饱满的双唇。

Her full lips.

她的双手。

Her hands.

我几乎能听见她的声音。

I could almost hear her voice.

你喜欢我的手吗？

You like my hands?

是的。

Yes.

我想让它们触遍你全身。

I want them all over you.

我想象着她托住我的腰窝，指尖轻轻拨开我的头发，温柔而坚定地捧住我的耳朵。

I imagined her holding the small of my back, those fingertips brushing back my hair, cupping my ear strong but gentle.

我让双腿自然分开，感受着大腿内侧的拉伸。

I let my knees fall open, feeling the stretch in my inner thighs.

当我的阴蒂在手中变得敏感坚硬时，一股股电光从脊椎底部窜起。

The sparks shooting up the base of my spine as my clit hardened under my hand.

你喜欢看我这样吗？

You like seeing me like that?

你喜欢看我的身体吗？

You like watching my body?

是的。

Yes.

你真是个调皮的小丫头，偷偷盯着我，这么想看我全部的样子。

You're such a naughty girl, spying on me like that, so desperate to see all of me.

塞莉娅俯身靠在我身上，就像之前她靠在梳妆台上那样，用乳房轻轻摩擦着我的胸脯。

Cecelia leaned over me the way she was leaning over the dresser earlier, brushing her breasts over mine back and forth.

我抬起手，捏住自己早已挺立的乳头。

I reached my own hand up to pinch one of my nipples already hard.

我能感觉到她的手抓着我，就像她抓着陶土那样有力。

I could feel her hand gripping me the way she gripped her clay.

我不得不咬住嘴唇，才没让自己呻吟出来。

I had to bite down on my lip to keep from moaning.

你想跟我做爱，对吧，宝贝？

You want to fuck me, don't you, baby?

我更用力地揉捏着双乳，用手指来回搓弄。

I squeezed my tits harder, kneading them between my fingers.

我能感觉到塞莉娅从背后紧紧抱住我。

I could feel Cecelia grabbing me from behind.

她的胸部紧贴着我的后背，有意识地扭动着臀部蹭着我。

Her tits pressed into my back as she rolled her hips against me purposefully.

她胸罩的蕾丝摩擦着我的皮肤。

The lace of her bra scraped my skin.

我想让你像我刚才发现你那样，趴在梳妆台上。

I want you to bend over this dresser just the way you found me.

把我压在木头上。

Press me into the wood.

从后面狠狠地要我。

Fuck me from behind with your apes.

我跪在床上，双腿大大地分开。

I got on my knees and spreading them wide on the mattress.

床架开始吱呀作响，但我根本不在乎。

The bed springs started creaking, but I didn't care.

我需要这个角度。

I needed the angle.

我好久没这么兴奋过了。

I had been this turned on in ages.

我的手指老是从阴蒂上滑开。

My fingers kept slipping off my clit.

我用手撑住墙，把背弓起来。

I pressed my hands against the wall and arched my back.

让我看看你有多厉害。

Show me how good you are.

对，就是这样。

That's it.

对，就是这样。

That's it.

就这么干我。

Fuck me like that.

哦，我想要你。

Oh, I want you.

我需要你。

I need you.

只有你。

Only you.

天啊，真的受不了了。

Sincerely, oh fuck.

高潮一波接一波，我的大腿开始发抖。

My thighs started to shake as the wave of pleasure kept building and building.

我都想不起来上一次有这种感觉是什么时候了。

I couldn't remember the last time it felt this good.

哦，糟了。

Oh, shit.

要来了。

Coming.

我想象着塞西莉亚就站在那儿，什么都看得见，什么都听得见。

I imagined Cecelia standing there knowing everything, hearing everything.

但我打开门的时候，‘喂？’

But when I opened the door Hello?

外面一个人也没有。

No one was there.

喂？

Hello?

我正要转身，脚下一滑，踩到了什么东西。

I started to turn back when my foot slipped on something.

低头一看，地上有张纸，折成一半，像是有人想从门底下塞进来。

I looked down to see a piece of paper folded in half as if someone had tried to slip it under my door.

信上写着我的名字——阿拉贝拉。

It was addressed to me, Arabella.

我展开纸条，上面有字迹，写得乱七八糟，几乎认不出来写的是什么。

When I unfolded it, there was a message and handwriting so scrawled I could barely make out the words.