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本周《Shagmarried Annoyed》的节目内容。
On this week's episode of Shagmarried Annoyed.
罗斯莉对杰克和土豆做了一次完整的单人表演。
Rosie does a full one eatery on Jack and Potatoes.
我想你会发现你确实会
I think you'll find you do the
单人表演。
one eatery.
那就走着瞧吧。
Well, time will tell.
伪君子。
Hypocrite.
我试着教罗斯莉一些科学类的东西。
I've tried to teach Rosie some science y stuff.
老实说，如果你那时走神了，我就会
It's just honestly, if you zone out at that point, I will
说实话，这确实引发了纯粹的愤怒。
And it was genuinely met with pure fucking anger to be fair.
太无聊了。
So boring.
罗斯妮给两个女人打电话，问她们有多重。
Rosie phones not one, but two women to ask them how much they weigh.
哦。
Oh.
大忌。
Cardinal sin.
我们有矛盾吗？
We got beefs?
我们确实有矛盾。
We have got beefs.
而且我们还有个大嘴巴的比尔·巴斯。
And we got some big mouth Billy Bass.
哦，带我去河边。
Oh, take me to the river.
来自过去的回响。
Blast from the past.
给我洗个澡。
Wash me down.
好好享受。
Enjoy.
再见。
Bye.
你好。
Hello.
你正在收听沙格·马丁诺伊德，和我、罗斯·拉姆齐，还有克里斯托弗·福勒。
You're listening to Shag Martinoid with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my as well well as as Christopher Christopher Fowler.
霜冻。
Frost.
你在地狱里。
You in hell.
你知道吗？
Know what?
我真的很懊恼，居然对那个笑了。
I'm really upset that I laughed at that.
谢谢。
Thank you.
我非常
I'm very
我们在互相讲对方的笑话。
We're having each other's jokes.
我紧张极了。
I'm very wound up.
那也叫笑话？
Calling that a joke?
那不是个笑话吗？
Was it not a joke?
那是
Was it
一点点吗？
a bit?
我现在能直接告诉你吗？
Literally can I tell you right now?
是的？
Yeah?
我做这件事时才想到的。
Only thought of it when I did it.
真的吗？
Really?
这有点胡闹。
It's bit of tomfoolery.
只是给播客来个轻松的开场。
Just a little light start on the podcast.
是的。
Yes.
大家好，谢谢收听，谢谢观看，嗨。
Hello, hello, thank you for listening, thank you for watching, hi.
大家坏消息。
Bad news everyone.
我把暖气打开了。
Got the heating on.
哦，别让这变成争执。
Oh, don't let this be beef.
别闹了。
Stop it.
我们待会儿再谈这个。
We'll talk about it later.
是的
Yeah.
我能听到我们身后暖气片里水流的声音。
I can hear the water rushing through the radiator behind us.
听起来像有人拉肚子。
Sounds like somebody with diarrhea.
对。
Yeah.
太糟糕了。
It's bad.
就像那种滴滴答答慢慢漏出来的声音。
It's like the trickling sort of dropping out.
这个房间里暖气从来不开。
The heat is never on in this room.
我非常，非常，这是第一次我得为这个打开暖气。
I'm very, very It's the first time I've had to put the heating on for this.
我是。
I am.
我应付得不好。
I'm not coping well.
欢迎来到秋天，我最喜欢的季节。
Welcome to Autumn, my favorite.
不过你穿着毛衣，我却冷得发抖。
You got a jumper on though, I'm freezing.
是的，你确实穿了毛衣，但那样看起来我比实际体型大得多。
Yeah, you've Well, did have a jumper on, but then I look like, just look bigger than I am.
那不是毛衣。
It wasn't a jumper.
那是一件宽松外套。
It was a baggy.
那是一件宽松的针织开衫。
It's a baggy cardigan.
所以现在我双臂张开，但非常在意这一点。
So now I've got my arms out, but I'm very aware of this.
明白了。
Right.
太好了。
Great.
如果你一直这样保持，那就太棒了。
Well, if you just keep doing that, that's brilliant.
对于那些没在YouTube上观看视频的人，她当时手臂贴着身体，其实她并没有所谓的‘ bingo wings ’。
She's for for everyone not watching it on the on the video on YouTube, she was flat with her bingo wings, which she doesn't really have.
现在我觉得每个人都拥有 bingo wings。
And now she I think everyone's got bingo wings.
就连那些特别瘦的人也有 bingo wings。
Even the really thin people got bingo wings.
我们只是像只该死的鹦鹉一样盯着镜子里的自己。
They're just looking at ourselves in the mirror like a fucking budgie.
对。
Right.
停下。
Stop.
停下。
Stop.
太糟糕了。
Awful.
想象一下我能听到这个。
Imagine I could listen to this.
我的脖子有点不舒服。
Me neck a little bit.
你是因为紧身裤弄伤了脖子。
You've hurt your neck by by tights
还有紧身衣。
and Tens
还有肌肉。
and muscles.
拉伤。
Straining.
太棒了。
Fantastic.
我永远当不了健美运动员。
Could never be a bodybuilder.
你不会。
You no.
不会。
No.
我没有那种
I haven't got the
直到这一刻之前，你还以为这是你可能的职业选择，直到现在。
Up until this moment, you thought that was still a possible career choice for you until right now.
我认识一个做这个的人。
I know someone who does it.
你认识吗？
Do you know?
她几年前给我做过头发。
She used to do me hair years ago.
哇。
Wow.
她
She
是健美运动员。
was bodybuilder.
表亲。
Cousin.
公平。
Fair.
我们的理发师，布罗根。
Our hairdresser, Brogan.
是她的表妹。
It's her cousin.
她练健美。
She does bodybuilding.
看起来太棒了。
Looks amazing.
她看起来很有气质。
She looks classy.
一般来说。
Generally.
但就是那种情况，当你看照片的时候，你会想：我做不到那样。
But it's that thing, you when you look at the pictures and you go, I can't that.
比如，我连10英石都减不下去。
Like, I can't even get under 10 stone.
那是什么？
What's that?
一种有毒的特质？
A toxic trait?
就把它当作一种特质吧。
Just think it as trait.
我曾经看过那些照片，心想，老实说，如果我真下功夫，我也能做到。
I looked at that pictures once and I thought, honestly, if I really tried, I could do that.
那全是灯光效果而已。
It's all bloody light and that.
全是光线，她根本就没有腹肌。
That's all light and she's not she's not got abs.
只是站在聚光灯下而已。
Just bloody standing under a spotlight.
她有的。
She has.
是的。
Yeah.
无论怎样我都无法减到十英石以下。
I cannot get under 10 stone for love no money.
真的吗？
Really?
我真的很吃力。
I'm really struggling with it.
你不需要那样。
You don't need to.
那只是一个数字而已。
And it's just a number.
只要
As long as
你开心、看起来好，那就无所谓了。
you're happy and how you look, it doesn't matter.
不。
No.
知道。
Know.
但你知道，我时不时会称一下体重。
But, you know, every now and then I go on the scales.
就是忍不住啊。
Just can't god.
是看围度，不是吧？
It's inches not was it?
是看围度，不是不是不是，我肯定有人编过关于这个的押韵句子。
It's about inches not not not I'm sure that someone's got a clever rhyme about that.
总之，听我说。
Anyway, listen.
健美。
Bodybuilding.
我以前看过一个视频，不知道是在哪栋别墅里，反正就是这么个地方。
I saw a thing once, just a video of I don't know where the word must have been in a villa or something.
那应该是个健美训练营之类的地方。
And it was a like, it must have been like a bodybuilding camp or whatever.
好吧。
Okay.
那里有个家伙，是个健美运动员。
And there was a guy, and he was a bodybuilder.
他就在泳池的浅水区，有个教练在旁边训练他，大声喊着不同的动作节奏。
And he was in just he was just in, like, a shallow shallow end of the pool, and some bloke was, like who was training him, he was shouting out the different pauses.
明白了。
Alright.
天哪。
Fucking hell.
那场面太激烈了。
It was intense.
你什么意思？
What do you mean?
那简直太可怕了。
It was, like, horrible.
他就在烈日下。
He's, like, in the blistering sun.
他站在这个该死的泳池里，水只到脚踝，然后他真的就这样站着。
He's in this fucking pool up to his feet, and he's literally like, right.
我不认识那些动作的名字。
Any I don't know the names
任何
of any
动作。
of them.
我不
I don't
知道。
know.
但可能是像天鹅这样的东西。
But probably things like Swan.
垂死的天鹅，雾气。
Dying swan, fog.
它们大概都是鸟。
They're probably all birds.
是的，喊是的。
He yeah, shout yeah.
而且他在结尾给了他一个胸脯，那家伙看起来快要晕过去了，他大概
And he gives him a breast at the end and the guy looks like he's gonna pass out and It's he's probably
就是这样。
like that.
天啊，他们这么做真是够意思。
And oh God, fair play at them like that.
我小时候才知道，原来是篮球，哦不，是棒球。
That's like I found out when I was a kid about the basketball, oh no, baseball.
棒球那边，他们戴帽子、摸脸那些动作。
The baseball stuff, when they do the cap and that and they touch their faces.
哦，对。
Oh, right.
是那些小暗号，他们
For the little signals that they
做的。
do.
自成一体的联赛。
League of their own.
是的。
Yeah.
这是一部很棒的电影。
It's a great film.
汤姆·汉克斯。
Tom Hanks.
所以我就是在那儿发现的。
So that's where I found it out.
《她们自己》？
League of their own?
嗯哼。
Mhmm.
那不是天空电视台的那个问答节目吗？
Is that not the is that not the panel show on Sky?
有一部电影叫《她们自己》。
There is a film called A League of their own.
你知道你为什么想看它吗？
Do know why you wanna watch it?
因为你是个大男子主义者，而这部电影讲的是女子棒球队。
Because you're a sexist pig and it's about a female baseball team.
斯科特，有趣吗？
Scott, funny?
真的吗？
Is it?
因为发生的事情是，在第二次世界大战期间——是第一次还是第二次世界大战？
Because what happened was during the second world war was it first world or the second world?
在战争期间？
During the war?
在其中一场战争期间。
During one of the wars.
我想不起来是哪一场了。
I can't remember which one.
我觉得是世界大战。
Think it's world war.
我我
I'm I
看。
look.
所有的男人。
All the men.
我已经，我已经。
I'm already I'm already
别一直插话。
Keep talking over it.
连接上了。
Hooked in.
我只是连接上了。
Just I'm hooked in.
我连接上了。
I'm hooked in.
在其中一场战争期间，继续你那历史准确的叙述吧。
During one of the wars, carry on with your historically accurate.
在其中一场战争期间
During one of the wars
就在那儿。
There it is.
我认为是第二次世界大战。
I think it was the second world war.
是的。
Yeah.
因为从
Because from the
这是发生在远古之前还是之后？
Was this before or after olden days?
是在远古时期还是在远古之后？
Was it during olden days or was it after olden days?
这要看情况。
It depends.
于是男人们去参战了。
So the men went off to fight.
谢谢。
Thank you.
然后女性们组建了自己的棒球联盟。
And then the women started their own baseball league.
真棒。
Nice.
起初人们并没有认真对待她们。
And at first they didn't get taken seriously.
但后来显然出现了热潮，这项运动变得非常流行。
But then obviously there were mint and it became a huge thing.
但后来男人们回来了，这项联盟就渐渐消失了，这真的很令人难过。
But then the men came back and it just sort of died off, which is really sad.
但麦当娜出演了这部电影，这是一部超级精彩的影片。
But Madonna's in it, it's a fucking amazing film.
汤姆·汉克斯出演了这部电影，太经典了。
Tom Hanks is in it, it's class.
你想看吗？
Would you like to watch it?
不想，但拍得真不错。
No, but well done.
我们以前聊过，这是我小时候最喜欢的电影之一。
We've talked about it before, it's one of my favorite films as a kid.
看过，我打算
Have, I'm gonna
为什么男孩们要看？我怎么觉得这还是我第一次听说这部电影？
get Why the boys to watch do I feel like this is the first time, oh good luck with that.
我怎么觉得这还是我第一次听说这部电影？
Why do I feel like this is the first time I'm hearing about this film?
你不会看的，因为你是个男孩。
You wouldn't have watched it because you're a boy.
你根本不会去看。
You wouldn't have watched it.
在当今社会，女性会看男性喜剧演员和女性喜剧演员。
In this modern day, women will watch male comedians and female comedians.
男性几乎从不看女性喜剧演员。
Men will very rarely watch a female comedian.
你只会看男性喜剧演员。
You'll only watch men, male comedians.
顺便说一句，很多女性也不会看女性喜剧演员。
A lot of women won't watch female comedians as well, by the way.
只是为了让
Just so
你明白。
you know.
我觉得你谈论的是少数群体。
I think you're I think you're talking about a minority.
我们一定会看女性喜剧演员的表演。
We will absolutely watch female comedians.
是的。
Yeah.
我会看的。
I'll watch it.
我会看的。
I'll watch it.
不会。
No.
我知道你会看的。
I know you will.
我不舒服。
I'm not okay.
好吧。
Alright.
好的。
Okay.
你的意思是整体上吗？
You mean as a whole?
是的。
Yes.
听好了，如果不是因为这是部关于女子棒球的电影，我本来是不会看《红粉联盟》的。
And listen, I would not have watched I would not have not watched League of Their Own because it's a female baseball.
如果不是因为这是棒球，而且是我认为最无聊的运动之一，我本来是不会看《红粉联盟》的。
I will have not watched League of Own because it's baseball and it's one of the most boring games
好的。
Okay.
但说实话，我并不是在指责你，因为你说得对。
But not I'm not having a go to be honest with you because right.
我收回刚才的话。
I take I take it back.
小时候我没看很多东西，因为那都是男孩才看的。
There's loads of stuff that I didn't watch as a kid because I because it was just boy stuff.
对。
Right.
你明白我的意思吗？
Do you know what I mean?
你看过《冰球小英雄》吗？
Did you watch Mighty Ducks?
我确实看过。
I did actually.
我超爱这部电影。
I loved it.
我知道，我看过《冰球小英雄》。
I know I saw Mighty Ducks.
跟你说实话吧。
I'll be honest with you.
是的
Yeah.
我知道。
I know.
我以前经常在街上玩这个，什么都玩。
I used to play it out in the street and everything.
只属于你
Just You
没见过
never seen
Mighty Ducks。
Mighty Ducks.
我见过吗？
Did I?
我想还是对你坦白吧。
I think I'll be honest with you.
我觉得是
Think it was
天空。
Sky.
我觉得我看过很多次了。
Think it was on I've seen it loads of times.
真的吗？
Really?
不过我觉得我们可能有录下来。
I think we might had it on video though.
天啊。
Oh, goodness.
我的天。
Oh my god.
太棒了。
It was so good.
模仿皮格犬的时间之类的。
Knock of pug time and all that.
只是从别人说的话里学来的。
Just learned it off just learned it off things people said.
我做过很多这样的事。
I did a lot of that.
我小时候做过很多这样的事。
I did a lot of that as a kid.
就像变色龙一样，只是说：哦，是的。
Just like chameleon just going, oh, yeah.
那部电影叫什么来着？
What what what what's that film?
那句经典台词是什么来着？
What was the catchphrase again?
哦，是的。
Oh, yeah.
我记得那个。
I remember that.
我整天都念那句台词。
I'd say the catchphrase all day.
他没看过那个。
He didn't watch that.
骗子。
A liar.
这太悲剧了。
It's tragic.
真可怜，不是吗？
Sad, ain't it?
可怜。
Sad.
几年前我们试着让罗宾看《冰上奇迹》，但他完全不感兴趣。
And we tried to get Robin to watch Mighty Ducks a couple of year ago and he was having none of it.
你呢？
You?
我看了。
I did.
我可能看了。
I I might did.
跟你一起试试。
Try them with you.
在聊天和看《无尽的传说》之前。
Before chatting and watching Never Ending Story.
那就是那个坑。
That was the pit.
哦，我的意思是，我……
Oh, I mean I'm
从坑里来的。
from the pit.
回过头来看，没有。
Looking back, no.
这真的非常阴暗，而且非常缓慢。
It's it's really grim and it's really slow.
简直难以置信地阴暗。
Unbelievably grim.
是的。
Yeah.
我们有很多。
We had a lot.
我的意思是，这是《无尽的故事》。
I mean, it is the Never Ending Story.
各位，哦，找到了。
Guys so Oh, there it is.
各位，非常感谢你们收听。
Guys, thank you so much for listening.
非常感谢你们的到来。
Thank you so much for being here.
请继续点赞、评分并订阅。
Please continue to like and rate and subscribe.
如果你在YouTube上观看，那就狠狠地点击订阅按钮吧，老兄。
And if you're watching on YouTube, smash that subscribe button, man.
或者轻轻点一下也行。
Or just delicately click it.
这完全由你决定，而且你知道的，别砸东西，好好对待你使用的任何科技产品。
It's totally up to you and, you know, look after whatever technology you are using by not smashing things.
那么，不废话了，到了本周的丰厚赞助商时间。
So without further ado, it's time for this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor.
现在，罗斯莉不会喜欢本周的赞助商，因为她不喜欢。
Now Rosie's not gonna like this week's sponsor because she's not a fan.
但正如我们所知，我从第一天起就是粉丝了。
But as we know, I've always been a fan from day one.
我们已经多次提到过。
We've talked about many times.
罗西根本没经历过这些，但我从一开始就一直支持这种做法，为什么呢？
Rosie's happened absolutely none of but I've always been on board with this how?
当你说到‘猛戳订阅按钮’的时候，我立刻猛地一戳，动作特别快。
When you said smash that subscriber, went smash it, and I've jerked really quickly.
我真的觉得我把自己给弄伤了。
And I've genuinely think I've put me back out.
这已经是第二次你伤到自己了。
So twice now you've injured yourself.
自从你‘猛戳订阅按钮’之后，你不仅伤到了背，还因为拉伸伤到了肩膀。
So you've hurt your back since smash that subscribe button, And you've also hurt yourself, your shoulder by Tenson.
我们现在是在特瓦特吗？
Are we in Tewart?
这是个真诚的问题。
Genuine question.
我以前在乐队时通过银行在特瓦特。
I used to be in Tewart when I was in the band through the bank.
对。
Right.
我喜欢断腿之类的事。
I like broken legs and that.
Anyway，继续吧。
Anyway, crack on.
当你
When your
腿值五便士一条。
legs were worth about 50p each.
我
I
我当时就想，你至少先付我两周的工资吧？
was like, can you just pay me wages for at least a fortnight?
你把这段引子给破坏了。
You've ruined the lead into this.
对不起，对不起。
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
顺便说一下，你知道吗，我真的很开心，我是说，我有注意力缺陷多动障碍，但没被正式诊断过。
By the way, do know what I'm just really happy, ADHD, I mean, I'm not diagnosed.
自我诊断。
Self diagnosed.
自我诊断。
Self diagnosed.
我停不下来。
I can't stop the date.
好吧，今天不适合录播客，因为我完全心不在焉。
Right, okay, not this a good day to do the podcast because I'm all over the place.
这是我们唯一有空的日子。
It's only day we've got.
展开剩余字幕（还有 480 条）
对。
Right.
好的。
Okay.
我操。
I'll Shit.
我只说声抱歉。
All I'm saying is sorry.
我要说的是，任何认为这些是真实赞助商的人，顺便说一句，其实是心照不宣的。
Anyone who thinks that these are real sponsors, by the way, I mean, are real wink wink.
但别跳过它们，因为赞助商不只是针对新听众，那些可能还不了解赞助商的人。
But don't be skipping them because the sponsor isn't just if there's new listeners who don't really know what the sponsor is.
正如我所说，我猜这可能会让你不高兴，因为我知道你还没认同，但我从第一天起就支持了。
As I say, probably gonna upset you because I know you're not on board, but I've been on board since day one.
这周卢克的回复是，卢克，卢克，卢克
This week's Luke Luke Luke response there
是口交。
is Blowjobs.
土豆侠。
Jack of potatoes.
天哪。
Oh my god.
土豆侠。
Jack of potatoes.
听好了，众所周知，罗斯从未喜欢过。
Listen, as we all know, Rosie has never been a fan.
对。
Right.
我们结婚的时候，我说了，你看，我就是个土豆侠。
When we got married when we got married, I said, look, I am a Jack and potato guy.
爱要不要。
Take it or leave it, love.
听着，你要么现在下车，要么就一路坐到马铃薯镇。
Listen, you either get off this ride or ride this train all the way to Jack and potato town.
你要是伤了我，我流出来的都是马铃薯汁。
You cut me, I bleed Jack potatoes.
从一开始，从第一天起，我就一直这么说。
I've always said this from day one, from day dot.
别说了，他在说反话。
Stop it because he's being sarcastic.
你一直讨厌马铃薯。
You've hated Jack potatoes.
我现在对他们全都厌倦了。
I'm all bored with them now.
我知道。
I know.
我的意思是，我稍微有点认同了。
I mean, I'm slightly on board.
我的意思是，我有一半同意。
I mean, I am I'm half on board.
我有一半同意。
I'm half on board.
因为那些唯一需要放进烤箱几天的才算是。
Because the only ones are like all the ones that you have to put in the oven for a couple of days.
我至少喜欢烤一个小时。
I like an hour at least.
我的意思是
It's I mean
那没问题。
That's fine.
它们是最好的。
They were the best ones.
是的。
Yeah.
但后来你昨天又说，你当时觉得，哦，我看过一个方法，是把它们拿出来，用锡纸包好，放进冰箱冷冻，这样会更好吃。
But then you went then you said yesterday, you were like, oh, then what happens is I've read a thing, watched a thing, where you take them out, you wrap them in foil and you put them in the freezer and then they're even nicer.
我明白了。
I went, right.
我说，得了吧，现在。
I went, well, come on now.
不，它们更好吃。
No, they're nicer.
它们对你更有益。
They're better for you.
淀粉会发生某种变化之类的。
There's something that happens with the starches or something.
越少，越少像脂肪，让我查一下。
The less, the less like the less fat, let me find out.
这个
The
脂肪更少。
less fat.
不。
No.
但昨天我说过，是
But then I said yesterday, was
比如，我们回来的时候再吃吧。
like, well, let's have them when we come back.
我想让我们吃切好的土豆。
I want let's have them chopped potatoes.
你当时说，好。
And you were like, yeah.
我用微波炉做。
I'll do them microwave.
我说，哦，微波炉啊，是的，它们没那么好吃。
I went, oh, microwave went, yeah, they're not as nice.
哦，太好了。
Oh, great.
所以我们花了几个星期，它们必须一直放在烤箱里，完全烤透，然后现在被放进冷冻室了。
So we spent it was a couple of weeks they had to stay in that oven for easily, full whack, and then they've gone in the freezer now.
现在它们唯一的作用可能就是拿去砸我们不喜欢的人家的窗户，或者直接扔进垃圾桶。
And then all they're good for is maybe brick in the windows of someone we don't like or thrown in the bin.
所以不行。
So No.
那我来吃吧。
I'll eat then.
那挺有意思的。
That was fun.
很好。
Good.
我现在没事了。
I'm fine now.
我可以随时吃一个烤土豆。
I can have a jacket potato on the fly.
再说一遍，我喜欢它们，但制作它们需要很多步骤。
Like Again, I am a fan of them, but there's a lot there's a lot that goes into them.
我会说，每个人都会同意，我认为任何听过我们节目超过一集、并且了解我的人，都明白我这辈子都不会自己做烤土豆。
I am I I everyone will agree, and I think anyone who's listened to more than one episode of this and who knows anything about me, I will never make my own jackpotato till the day
我死那天。
I die.
好的。
Okay.
但如果你提供给我，我绝对接受。
But if you're offering them up, I'm all over it.
但你得经历的那一套繁琐流程。
But I would the rigmarole you have to go through.
我每次看视频时都试图跟上披萨的潮流。
I try I try to get on board with me on pizzas every video.
我们能进入播客的主体内容，然后再回头讨论这个吗？
Can we get into the main body of the podcast and we'll bring this back up?
你来开场吗？
You're kick off?
听好了。
Listen.
我不会完全开场，因为我现在心情很好，而你什么都做不了。
I'm not gonna fully kick off because I'm in a really good mood and there's nothing that you do.
已经过去了。
It's gone now.
只是一声轻响。
It's just a twang.
太好了。
Great.
我心情非常好，你不会破坏它，但确实有些事情。
I'm in a really nice mood and you're not gonna ruin it but there is some things.
我有些事需要
There is some shit I need to
搅一搅。
stir up.
挑战。
Challenge.
好吧。
Alright.
我们来敲个钟吧。
Let's jingle.
你好，欢迎回到《Jackpotato》，已婚且烦躁。
Hello, welcome back to Jackpotato, married and annoyed.
没错，根据这里所说，将马铃薯煮熟后再冷冻，可以增加抗性淀粉的含量，这种淀粉像膳食纤维一样，可能有助于控制血糖。
Right, so Jackpotatoes, It says here, cooking and then freezing Jack potatoes can increase the amount of resistant starch, which acts like fiber and may help with blood sugar control.
所以，就是这样。
So there you go.
抱歉。
Sorry.
你能解释一下吗？说明你真的理解了？
Explain that like you understand it?
这其实有很多好处。
There's just benefits of it.
因为据我之前读过，真的读过，那是很久以前的事了。
Because apparently I read once, read it actually, this was before ages ago.
因为我以前每天都吃干土豆，我妈妈说，一个杰克土豆里糖分可多了。
Because I used to eat dry potato every day and my mom was like, there's loads of sugar in a jackpotato.
然后你就想，我为啥就不能好好活着？
And you're like, why the fuck can I not just live?
是的，那些你根本想不到的糖分和其他东西。
Yeah, the sugar and shit that you wouldn't imagine that
会。Anyway，我们来展示一下
would Anyway, this is We show
吃东西时摄入的糖分。
the sugar in going for a shite.
这是桑德拉，她体重超过八英石，只想死去。
This is Sandra who goes above eight stone and wants to die.
我只是非常清楚，我之前说过我无法减到十英石以下。
I'm So just very aware that I said I can't get under ten stone earlier.
我从未告诉过妈妈，我等了这么多年。
I've never told my mom would I wait for years.
因为说实话，我只是不想看到我们的脸凹陷下去。
Because honestly, just didn't wanna see our face cave in on itself.
所以。
So
现在她知道了。
now she knows.
我擅长让你知道。
I'm good at you knows.
她听这个播客的时候，我可不想在场。
Do not wanna be there when she listens to this podcast.
十。
10.
这完全是种再好不过的状态。
An Which absolutely fine way to be.
当然了，太棒了。
Of course it is, buzzing.
天啊。
Jesus.
是的，但她是个杏仁妈妈。
Yeah, but no, she's an almond mom.
我们都有这样的妈妈。
We've all got them.
我们都是在九十年代长大的。
We all grew up in the nineties.
你要么有个像我这样的杏仁妈妈，要么有个整天备满薯片的妈妈。
You either had an almond mom like mine, or you had the mom who had all of the crisps.
就是这样。
That was it.
我妈妈只是个普通的妈妈，这样挺好。
And my mom, she's just Norman mom, it's fine.
但她今天特别开心，因为我吃了个鸡蛋三明治，用的是那个Jason's或者Jackson's的面包，特别好，她还说：‘哦，这闻起来真香。’
But she was really happy with us today because I had an egg sandwich and I had it in that Jason's or Jackson's bread, the really And good she was like, Oh, that smells delicious.
而且看起来也很漂亮。
And it looks lovely.
你知道当你……
And you know when you're like.
我听到你很自豪地说，我看到了，里面没有任何添加剂。
I heard you very proudly say that, I've seen it, there's no additives.
里面没有任何添加剂。
There's no additives in it.
但是
But
她会和我们一起吃中餐。
she will smash her Chinese with us.
你就得生活在她的世界里，我们都活在桑德拉的世界中。
It's it's living on the, you've just gotta live inside it's Sandra's world and we all live in it.
这没什么，因为我非常爱她。
And that's fine because I adore her.
我无法想象没有她的生活。
Couldn't live without her.
我以前说过。
I've said it before.
你知道她的全部。
You know all of her.
我以前说过，她不喜欢披萨。
I've said it before, the pay is don't like pizza.
我可不会因为披萨而感谢你。
I wouldn't thank you for pizza.
我会把披萨拿出来。
I'll whip the pizza out.
Pay是没了。
Pay is It's gone.
这就是
This is what
我他妈的秃鹫。
I fucking vultures.
不过她比我还坚持得多。
She sticks to it a lot more than me though.
多得多。
A lot more.
我震惊了。
I'm shocked.
她肯定提到了那次她偶然抓到我们在吃白面包，我想我当时在家，她撞见我们在吃白面包。
Must have talked about the time which she randomly caught us having, think I was home over, she caught us having White bread.
四片白面包吐司，还有一整罐加了奶酪的香肠焗豆。
Four four slices of white bread toast and a full tin of sausage and beans with cheese on top.
她路过时，只是非常轻声地说，哦，看看那个。
And she walked past and she just really quietly went, oh, look at that.
全毁了。
Ruined it.
知道但她
Know but she's
毁了我，看看那个。
Ruined me, look at that.
总之，一些可悲的小评论。
Anyway, sad little comments.
非常可悲。
Very sad.
太难过了。
Very sad.
太难过了。
Very sad.
但是桑德拉，我们非常爱你。
But Sandra, we love you so much.
是的。
Yes.
谢谢你一直以来在我们年幼时保持克制。
And thank you for she she kept going under control when we younger.
那时候根本没有放纵过。
There was no pop in that.
我尊重这一点，因为我确实觉得我的糖瘾可能源于她。
I respect that because I do think my sugar addiction might be from her
但你却一直被禁止享受。
though and the lack You've of not been allowed it.
是的，是的，现在你就像说，听好了，我们都还活着，一切都好。
Yeah, yeah, now you're like, Listen, that's we're all alive, it's all good.
我本来想说的是，我看过一个视频，你在里面说你不会做一罐土豆，而且你讨厌做饭。
What I was gonna say is, I did watch a video with you saying you won't make a jar of potato and you hate making meals.
我觉得是一位爱尔兰女喜剧演员，真的很抱歉，我记不起她的名字了。
I think it was an Irish female comedian and I'm so sorry because I can't remember what her name was.
如果我说出她的名字，你很可能认识她。
You would probably know her if I said the name.
总之，我想不起来了，真的很抱歉。
Anyway, I can't remember and I'm so sorry.
但她在Instagram上的这个视频里 basically 说，她丈夫不在家，她根本没做饭。
But she basically said in this video on Instagram, she was like, her husband was away and she just didn't cook a meal.
她一整天就只是吃些零食。
And she just sort of ate snacks all day.
我听泰莎说过，她就吃了一片火腿和一把坚果。
And I've heard Tayshil's like I've just had a slice of ham and a handful of nuts.
我当时想：天哪。
And I was like Fucking hell.
但那才是梦想，那就是我想过的生活。
No but that's the dream, that's how I would live.
抱歉，不是这样的。
Sorry, no.
你确实会这么做，我见过很多人这样。
You do it, I've seen loads of people do it.
直接从包装里拿火腿吃。
Eating just ham out of the packet.
哦。
Oh.
真是太惨了。
So fucking tragic.
这简直太棒了。
It's just the best.
这太惨了。
It's so tragic.
我会听起来像个特别矫情的人。
I'm gonna sound like such a snobbier.
除非是那种帕尔马火腿或者意大利生火腿。
Unless it's like some Parma ham or some prosciutto.
如果只是普通的三明治火腿的话
If it's just fucking sandwich ham
那就是普通火腿。
That's bit ham.
Billy Bear及以上级别的。
Billy Bear and upwards.
你真的，拿片面包抹点黄油，花两秒钟就够了。
You honestly, it takes two seconds to get a bit of bread and hoiber butter on a high in the brow.
随便放点什么都可以。
Even bit of me in anything.
不。
No.
别吃它。
Don't eat it.
我们都清楚，当你打开一包火腿时，闻起来像放了个冷屁。
We all know when you orbit a pack of ham, smells like a cold fart.
对吧？
Right?
我不同意。
I I disagree.
我不觉得有这味道。
I don't think it does.
闻起来像
Smells like
屁味。
a fart.
至于我的茶点，我的意思是，这可不是我会一整天都吃的东西。
At my tea, as long I mean, this is not what I would eat all day.
会有四盘这种火腿，配上一块红椒，还有一些带壳的开心果，因为这样吃起来更持久。
There'd have been four plates of this Ham, throughout the a cut of red pepper, some pistachio nuts in the shell because it tastes longer.
因为如果你直接吃带壳的，我能吃下一整袋。
Because if you just eat them unshelled, I could eat a full bag.
再来一些配着腌菜的饼干。
Then like some crackers with some pickle on.
如果我喜欢奶酪，我就会在上面放点奶酪。
If I like cheese, I would have cheese on there.
这听起来像是你为了不收到礼物而特意留给圣诞老人的东西。
This sounds like what you would leave out for Santa if you didn't want to get any presents.
圣诞老人可能会超爱这种东西。
Santa might be Santa might love this shit.
一些冷的
Some cold
对不起啊，
fucking Sorry,
不是冷的。
not cold.
一些室温的火腿。
Some room temperature ham.
室温更好。
Room temperature is better.
室温更好。
Room temperature is better.
讨厌冷的。
Hate cold
食物。
food.
火腿裹上沙拉酱，像小香烟一样。
Salad cream in the ham wrapped up like a little cigarette.
像一个小
Like a little
青蛙一样的小香烟。
Froggy little cigarette.
不。
No.
我是说，那叫什么来着？
Like, what do call it?
像
Like
我在装沉默。
I'm clamming.
意大利咖啡馆里那种东西叫什么？
What are them things you can get in the Italian cafes?
加尔佐内。
Calzone.
一个火腿馅的卡尔佐内。
A ham calzone.
不。
No.
不。
No.
不。
No.
它们看起来像小东西，看起来像，看起来像一条小鱼。
They look like a little they look like they look like a little tiddler.
它们叫什么，
What they're called,
老兄？
man?
里面是奶油？
Cream inside?
天啊。
Fuck me.
它们叫什么？
What they're called?
对。
Right.
死得快。
Dead quick.
这要让我疯了。
This is gonna do me head in.
卡诺利。
Cannoli.
是的。
Yeah.
我本来打算给我妈妈打电话。
I was gonna ring my mom.
是的。
Yeah.
像一小块火腿。
Like a little ham.
是的。
Yeah.
你眼前就有谷歌，居然还要给妈妈打电话？
Fucking got Google in front you and you're gonna ring mom.
哦，我要写进去吗？
Oh, am gonna write in?
一种带奶油的意大利甜点。
Italian dessert with cream.
是的。
Yeah.
欢迎来到由克里斯和罗斯·拉姆齐教你如何使用谷歌。
Welcome to how to use Google with Chris and Rosie Ramsey.
去他的，艾尔。
Fuck it, Al.
总之，
Anyway,
我认为这个故事的寓意是，如果我不必为你和孩子们做饭，我想我不会。
I think that the moral of the story is if I didn't have to cook meals for you and the kids, I don't think I would
为了我。
for me.
你不必这样。
You don't have to.
你愿意做真的很棒，我每次都很感激，而且我非常高兴你愿意做。你吃啥？
It's lovely that you do and I thank you every single time and I'm over the moon that you do What you eat?
披萨。
Pizza.
不。
No.
披萨。
Pizza.
你轮流做披萨、炒蛋配奶酪，或者金枪鱼奶酪意大利面。
You rotate pizza, scrambled egg with cheese, or tuna cheese pasta.
就这样？
That's it?
你就只会做这些？
That's all you can make?
是的。
Yeah.
我会做牛排。
I can do steaks.
哦。
Oh.
我也会做意大利肉酱面。
I can do spaghetti bolognese as well.
我不会费那个劲
I wouldn't bother I
不会费那个劲做那个。
wouldn't bother doing that.
嘿。
Hey.
听好了。
Listen.
我不会费那个劲做那个。
I wouldn't bother doing that.
对。
Right.
那会是披萨。
It'll be pizza.
大多数其他晚上都是披萨，中间的晚上会是炒鸡蛋
Most every other night would be pizza and then the nights in between one night would be scrambled eggs
嗯。
Mhmm.
然后下一天就是金枪鱼奶酪意面。
And then the next night would be tuna cheese pasta.
不过你早餐吃的是什么？
You're eat for your breakfast though?
炒鸡蛋。
Scrambled eggs.
很好。
Great.
好的。
Okay.
问问我午餐吃什么？
Ask us what we're having with your lunch?
你和你的抓我的腿。
What you're with your Grab my legs.
好的。
Okay.
好吧，说得通。
Alright then, fair enough.
问我们什么，妈妈，和我一起吃晚饭？
Ask us what, mom, with me supper?
什么？你给我吃晚饭？
What, you have me supper?
酸奶。
Yogurt.
好吧。
Alright.
你也会停下来吗？
Will you stop as well?
这个播客是什么？
What is this podcast?
我们以前在宿舍里经常聊这个。
We used to talk about in residence.
所以现在我们只谈这个，简直没完没了。
So now we just talk about it's just one long beef.
但我本来想说的是，你能不能别再买那种该死的、愚蠢的酸奶了？
But what I was gonna do is would you stop that fucking stupid yogurt you started buying?
那叫什么名字？
What's it called?
哦，叫Quogs。
Oh, Quogs.
别说了。
Stop.
哦，该死。
Oh, shit.
全家人都这样。
Everybody in the family.
就像
It's like
我喜欢
I love
它。
it.
对我来说，罗宾和拉夫，他们都没有反应。
To me, Robin and Rave, none of them react.
没人说什么。
No one said anything.
继续。
Keep going.
因为这些事都是从男生那里听说的，我觉得我是从西奇那里听来的。
Just so it's guys I get it from well I think I get it from Sage.
你到处都能听到，但它是啊，拼写是crevarg，像是一种特殊的奶酪。
You get it all over but it's yeah it's like it's spelled crevarg and it's like a special it's like a cheese.
它像是一种软奶酪，但我买的是那种像酸奶的东西。
It's like a soft cheese thing but I get like a but it's like a yogurt.
酸奶和奶酪非常相似。
Well yogurt and cheese is very similar.
是的。
Yeah.
我买过白巧克力味的，也买过香草味的，它们都含有大量的蛋白质。
And it's like I get a white chocolate flavor one or I get a vanilla flavor one and they got all it's got loads of protein in.
然后，嗯，我偶尔会坐下来吃薄荷味的，然后说：嘿，大家要不要来一盒美味的奶酪？
And then, yeah, I just sit and eat the mint every now and then I just say, look, does everyone want a nice pot of crud?
没人有反应。
One one reacts.
我家人全都没反应。
None of my family reacts.
这真让人烦。
It's so irritating.
这太烦人了。
It's so annoying.
前几天，罗宾一直在抱怨不想做作业。
Well, Robin was kicking off about not wanting to do his homework the other day.
我当时就说：听着，把作业做完。
I was like, listen, get your homework done.
好的。
Okay.
一大碗奶酪。
Nice big pot of cravag.
他只是看着我们。
He just looked at us.
他连‘什么？’都没说。
He didn't even go what?
他就直接说：闭嘴。
He just was like, shut up.
我们迟早都会一起离开你。
We are all one day gonna collectively leave you.
希望你知道这一点。
Hope you know that.
离开你的不会是妈妈。
It'll not be mommy's leaving you.
而是妈妈、罗宾和里夫共同决定，你该自己去跟那些该死的笑话打交道了，你真该停止这些无聊的玩笑。
It'll be mom, Robin and Riff have made the collective decision that you get on with herbs with your stupid jokes that you need to just stop.
我刚才在厨房假装用订单打你，伙计。
I followed you on the kitchen pretending to hit you with an order, dude.
这正是我想说的。
This is what I'm saying.
其实还挺搞笑的。
That was quite funny, actually.
但那个夸克的事情真的让我烦透了。
But the the quark thing's really getting on me tits.
罗西。
Rosie.
是的。
Yes.
你感觉怎么样？
How are you feeling?
今天？
Today?
今天，我们来更新一下情况。
Today, let's have an update.
你不是在经期。
You're not on period.
你没有任何心理波动。
You're not in any kind of mental cycle.
你一切都好。
You're all good.
我感觉很好。
I feel good.
克里斯，克里斯。
Chris, Chris.
是的？
Yeah?
我感觉很棒。
I feel great.
你希望每个月的每一天都感觉很棒吗？
How would you like to feel great every single day of the month?
如果是这样，我愿意付费订阅。
That I would I would pay a subscription.
我发现你不需要付费。
I found that you don't need to pay.
我找到了解决方案。
I found the solution.
我在网上找到了。
I found it online.
我发给你了，但你还没回复。
I sent you it, but you haven't replied to it.
男性腋下的汗液实际上可以调节女性的荷尔蒙和月经周期，甚至改善她的情绪。
Male underarm sweat can literally regulate a woman's hormones and menstrual cycle and even improve her mood.
什么？
A what?
抱歉？
Sorry?
所以你的腋下汗液，我们说的是
So your underarm sweat, what are we
不只是我的。
Not just mine.
所有的
All the
但如果你愿意，你可以用我的。
But you can you can use mine if you want.
那我能做什么？我要吞下它吗？
Can I so what what do I do I ingest this?
我要闻它吗？
Do I smell it?
闻它、喝它、涂在身上，或者泡在里头。
Smell it, drink it, rub it on yourself, have a bath in it.
这项研究是哪里来的？
Who where's this study from?
就这个博客。
Just this this blog.
网上。
Online.
我在网上看到的。
I saw it online.
读一读。
Read it.
我读过了。
I read
它。
it.
这太恶心了。
That's gross.
所以你想解决这个问题吗？
So you wanna fix the problem?
那又怎样？
So what?
不。
No.
什么？
What?
我需要检测睾酮。
I need test testosterone.
这就是我需要的。
That's what I need.
是的。
Yeah.
事情就是这样。
That's what it is.
事情就是这样。
That's what it is.
不。
No.
我可能不是那个人。
I might not be the guy.
这跟出汗一点关系都没有。
It's got nothing to do with sweat.
这跟那个男人没关系。
It's got nothing to do with that man.
我只需要睾酮。
I just need testosterone.
一些《真实主妇》正在接受睾酮注射。
Some of the Real Housewives are getting testosterone injections.
真的吗？
Really?
是的。
Yeah.
哇。
Wow.
而且显然有帮助。
And it helps apparently.
我知道我们今天早上本来在进行一场非常严肃的讨论，结果你却拿着装饰用的船桨在厨房里跟着我们转。
I know we were having a very serious discussion this morning before you started following us around the kitchen with the decorative oar.
抱歉，
Sorry,
让我解释一下关于船桨的事。
just to explain the oar thing.
每次她一转身，我就拿着船桨从她身后走过去，假装要打她。
Whenever she turned her back, I walked behind her with the orb as if I was gonna get her with it.
然后当
Then when
她转身的时候，
she turned around on the
山体。
mountain body.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
然后她转过身时，我把东西放下，直接走开了。
And then when she turned around, I put it down and just started walking away.
我说了四五次，直到她让我们停下来，说实话，这比我预期的要多得多。
Talk about four or five times until she told us to stop, which is honestly more than I thought I would get.
就这样放弃了。
Just giving up.
我已经到了一个阶段，觉得不明白为什么花了这么长时间。
I've just got to a point where I think, I don't know why it took so long.
我当然一直都知道这件事，但真正让我们沮丧的是，它占用了我每个月大量时间，让我一直不太开心。
And obviously I've always been aware of it, but it's really getting us down the fact that it just takes up so much of me month of being a bit unhappy.
我两周状态很好，然后又突然情绪低落。
Two weeks I'm great and then I'm just down in the dumps again.
我觉得我应该戴个徽章。
I feel like I should wear a badge.
对。
Right.
让座给孕妇
Letting people like when a pregnant lady gets on
地铁上的孕妇。
the pregnant lady on the tube.
对。
Right.
好的。
Okay.
我明白你的意思。
I get you.
对。
Right.
嗯嗯。
Uh-huh.
是的。
Yeah.
就像说对不起一样。
Just like Sorry.
如果我这两周一直是个噩梦的话。
If it's if it's I'm on me two weeks of being a nightmare.
是的。
Yeah.
但我说的是，我也是受害者，不只是你，混蛋。
But I'm brackets, I'm also a victim here, not just you, dickhead.
闭合括号。
Close bracket.
大徽章。
Big badge.
给我留了个大徽章。
Left me a big badge.
也许是一件T恤。
Maybe a T shirt.
也许是一面旗帜。
Maybe a flag.
应该是什么颜色？
What color should it be?
红色。
Red.
鲜红色。
Bright red.
他妈的
Fucking
总之，我不想
Anyway, I don't wanna
深酒红色。
talk deep maroon.
我不想谈
I don't wanna talk
关于阴茎。
about penis.
很好。
Good.
不会。
Will not.
不会。
Will not.
我们继续吧。
We'll move on.
巴布多 巴布多 巴布多。
Babadoo babadoo babadoo.
现在，罗斯，是吗？
Now, Rosie Yes?
你知道吗，有时候我喜欢找一些小知识、小趣闻，来激活你的思维，看看你会有什么反应。
You know now and then I like to find little factoids, little things to get your brain working to see how you're gonna react.
你脸上的那种表情，我这是在给你学习的机会，但那表情一点都不好。
That look on your face there, I'm giving you opportunity to learn here and that look was not nice.
但我不想涉及任何地理内容，因为我对这个感到很尴尬
But I don't want any geography things because I'm mortified about
巴西的问题。
the Brazil problem.
不要地理。
No geography.
巴西是什么？
What's Brazil?
第一个是巴西，第二个是德国。
The first one was Brazil, the second one was Germany.
你两个都糟透了。
You are terrible at both of them.
对。
Right.
你知道一张纸最多能对折多少次吗？
Do you know how many times you could fold a piece of paper?
我不知道。
I don't.
一张纸物理上不可能被对折超过八次。
It's physically impossible to fold a piece of paper more than eight times.
用普通的纸，大概能折七次。
Seven is roughly what you can get with a normal piece of paper.
明白吗？
Okay?
是的。
Yep.
你知道吗，如果
Do you know that if
如果真的能对折42次，那我估计你已经听不懂了，对吧？
it was possible to fold a piece of paper 42 times I've already lost you, haven't I?
不。
No.
我在听。
I'm listening.
我只是觉得无聊。
I'm just bored.
如果
If
我他妈讨厌极了，谁在学校教你的。
and I fucking hate it who taught you at school.
所以，如果你能将一张纸折叠42次——虽然你做不到，但理论上，如果你能的话
So If you could fold a piece of paper 42 times, which you can't, but theoretically, if you could
但你不可能折超过七次。
But you can't fold it more than seven.
你做不到。
You can't.
但如果你能折42次，你知道那张纸的厚度会从地球延伸到月球吗？
But if you could fold it 42 times, do you know the thickness of that piece of paper would reach from the earth to the moon?
什么？
What?
不。
No.
在这儿。
Here it is.
不。
No.
它
It
是。
is.
不。
No.
100。
100.
100%。
100%.
不。
Nah.
100%。
100%.
不。
Nah.
你知道月亮有多远吗？
You know how far away the fucking moon is?
我知道月亮到底有多远。
I know exactly how far away the moon is.
它
It is
不。
No.
这到底是什么蠢东西？
This is the stupid what?
对不起。
I'm sorry.
什么？
What?
你从哪儿搞来这破玩意儿的？
Where'd you get this shit?
我跟你说的是真的。
I'm telling you it's true.
我以神的名义发誓。
I swear to God.
抱歉。
Sorry.
42比7多不了多少。
42 isn't that much more than seven.
这就是为什么这太荒谬了。
This is why this is ridiculous.
我不是那个意思。
I'm not no.
不，算了。
Nah.
我们继续吧。
Let's move on.
这太荒谬了。
This is ridiculous.
你错了。
You're wrong.
这简直是胡说八道。
This is bullshit.
我真的是，真的是
I literally, literally
四张纸对折42次。
Four bit of paper 42 times.
它会到达该死的月球。
It's gonna reach the fucking moon.
是的。
Yep.
这是一场恶毒的玩笑吗？
Is this some sort of sick joke?
是的。
Yep.
你准备好了吗？
You ready?
是的。
Yep.
你得别再看这种东西了。
You need to stop reading shit like this.
不对。
Nope.
不对。
Nope.
不对。
Nope.
不对。
Nope.
从物理上讲，不可能将一张标准纸折叠42次。
It is physically impossible to fold a standard piece of paper 42 times.
然而，如果假设这种情况可能发生，折叠后的厚度将超过384,400公里，大约相当于地球到月球的距离。
However, if it were hypothetically possible, the resulting thickness would be over 384,400 kilometers, which is approximately the distance from the Earth to the moon.
每次折叠都会使纸张厚度翻倍，导致指数级增长，由于纸张的刚性以及尺寸的迅速增加，这种增长很快变得无法实现。
Each fold doubles the paper's thickness, leading to exponential growth that quickly becomes insurmountable due to the paper's rigidity and the rapid increase in dimensions.
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