188. 模仿型朋友的困境：为何交友如此之难？

接近生产。

Approach production.

我需要你的建议。

I need your advice.

你还好吗？

Are you okay?

发生什么事了？

What happened?

保证不会太多好吗？

Promise it won't be too much?

把它拿进来。

Bring it in.

欢迎来到我们的最佳朋友环节。

Welcome to our bestie segment.

这里是属于你的地方。

This is the place for you.

欢迎回到我们的Bestie建议环节。

Welcome back to our Bestie advice segment.

这是2026年的第一期。

This is the first episode for 2026.

我简直不敢相信我们已经到这里了。

I cannot believe we're here already.

我知道。

I know.

所以现在我们每周只做一期Bestie建议，

So we're only doing one Bestie advice every single week now,

那我们开始吧，

so let's get

直接进入正题吧。

straight into it.

我们开始吧，好吗

Let's do it, shall

我们？

we?

好的。

Okay.

我需要闺蜜的建议。

I need Bestie advice.

我是一个九岁男孩和三岁女孩的妈妈。

I'm a mom to a nine year old boy and three year old girl.

我从小学到现在，34岁了，结识了来自各行各业的朋友。

I have friends from all walks of life from primary school right up until now, which I'm 34 years old.

我遇到了一些了不起的人，但我发现很难与朋友建立更深层的关系。

I've met some incredible people, though I find it hard to go deeper in my friendships.

我有一个闺蜜，什么事我都告诉她。

I have one bestie who I tell everything to.

我也是，姐妹。

Me too, sis.

不过，当我试着和其他朋友分享时，感觉就是不一样。

Though fine, when I try and tell it with other friends, it just feels different.

我觉得他们在背后总是比较和竞争，这让我变得更为低调，不太活跃在社交媒体上，只想独处。

I feel there's a lot of comparison and competition on their end, which gives me the and forces me to be more private, not highly active on social media and just find myself sticking to myself.

这听起来可能很傻。

This may sound stupid, though.

比如我在健康方面做的事情，我两年前开始跑步。

Things like what I've done health wise, for example, I started running over two years ago.

没人知道，因为我只是在家里的跑步机上跑。

No one really knew as I just ran a home on the treadmill.

突然间，一个原本对跑步毫无兴趣的朋友知道了，也买了同样的跑步机，现在也开始跑了。

All of a sudden, this one friend who didn't have any interest found out and bought the same treadmill and now runs.

天啊，关于这个我有太多话要说。

Oh, I've got so much to say on this.

我买的一些东西，甚至有个朋友也买了同样的车，还染了同样的头发。

Certain things that I bought, even a friend bought the same car and dyed their hair the same.

我经常和丈夫聊天，他一直给予我巨大的支持，建议我可以通过自己的生活方式去感染他们，而这不是我故意为之的。

I've lots of conversations with my husband, and he has been amazing support and suggested maybe I inspire them with the way I live and that it's not intentional.

我只是希望拥有更深层次的联系和友谊，让我们都能坦诚、真实地相处，而不是只停留在表面。

I just wanna have deeper connections and friendships where both of us can just be so raw, open, and honest, not just the surface level stuff.

或者只是希望我的朋友们能直接告诉我，他们被我激励了。

Or for my friends to just say that I inspire them.

我甚至不知道该怎么形容，但也许我感觉现在的友谊有些停滞，我在寻找更多、更多的连接、更多的乐趣、更多的成长、更多的疗愈、更多的笑声，以及更好的健康。

I don't even know how to describe it, though maybe I feel stagnant in my current friendships and I'm searching for more, more connection, more fun, more growth, more healing, more laughter, and better health.

我感觉自己就像一位终于找回自我的母亲，准备迈向新阶段，我希望围绕在身边的是志同道合的人，大家只想互相激励，成为最好的自己。

I feel like a mom who's finally feeling herself and is ready to level up, and I wanna surround myself with like minded people who just want to push each other to be the best version of themselves.

所以我的问题是：是该留在现有关系中，采纳你的建议去深化友谊，还是该拓展圈子，寻找新的连接？

So my question would be, hang around and take on your suggestions on how to go deeper within a friendship or to branch out and find new connections.

请帮帮我。

Please help.

我只是想要一段非凡的姐妹情谊。

I just want an incredible sisterhood.

哦。

Oh.

首先，当你说到你感到有很多比较和竞争，这让你感到痛苦并迫使你更加低调，但没有人强迫你做任何事。

First of all, when you say you feel like there's a lot of comparison and competition, which gives me the ache and forces me to be more private, No one forces you to do anything.

那是你的选择。

That is your choice.

即使你这么说，也会让你在社交媒体上不那么活跃，而更倾向于独处。

Even saying it, then it makes you not be highly active on social media and you find yourself sticking to yourself.

这全都是你的选择。

That is all a choice.

我认为这取决于你如何看待他们所做的事情。

And I think it's how you're taking on what they're doing.

当他们买了同样的跑步机、穿了同样的衣服，或者开始跑步时，我认为这没什么不好。

And then when they buy the same treadmill or buy the same outfit or start running, I don't think that's a bad thing.

如果你开始跑步，然后看起来很棒、感觉很棒、能量也变了，而他们因此受到启发，我觉得这很美好。

I think it's beautiful if you started running and then maybe you're looking great, you're feeling great, and your energy's changed, and they're inspired by that.

我有一些健康方面的做法，蒂安娜也跟着做了，是的。

There's certain health things that I do that Tiana's been taken on Yeah.

反过来也一样。

And vice versa.

天哪。

It's like, oh my gosh.

我吃这个补充剂。

I take this supplement.

我也是。

Me too.

我要去买它。

I'm gonna go buy it.

是的。

Yeah.

我不觉得这是件坏事。

I don't see that as a bad thing.

我认为这是你对他们行为的解读。

I think that's how you're interpreting what they're doing.

是的。

Yeah.

但我觉得你丈夫说得对，你确实激励了他们，这真的很美好。

But I think your husband's right, and I think you've inspired them, which is really, really beautiful.

他们还买了同样的车。

Same with the bought the same car.

我不知道。

I don't know.

对我来说，根本不会觉得‘天哪’。

For me, just wouldn't be like, oh my god.

他们抄袭了我。

They've copied me.

我会觉得这是在模仿。

I'd be like matching.

双胞胎。

Twins.

是的。

Yes.

我不认为这是件坏事。

I wouldn't take that as a bad thing.

所以我很好奇，你对这件事构建了怎样的故事。

So I'm just really curious what story you're creating around that.

我认为，如果你渴望更深层的联系、更多的乐趣和深度，但如果你感受到这一切，他们也能察觉到你对他们有这样的期待。

And I think if you're wanting deeper connections and more fun and more depth, but if you're feeling all of this, they can feel that you're assuming that of them.

他们能感受到你的能量，这可能正在拉远你们之间的距离。

They can feel your energy, which is probably putting distance between you.

是的。

Yeah.

但如果你想要更多的乐趣、联系和成长，我认为你需要率先展现出这些。

But if you want more fun and more connection and more growth, like, I think you need to lead with that.

但如果你一开始就认为他们在模仿你，做这做那，没错。

But if you're leading with, like, oh, they're copying me, and they're doing this and that Yeah.

他们会感受到的。

They're gonna feel that.

没错。

Yeah.

这已经在你们的友谊中造成了巨大的裂痕。

And that's gonna have a massive crack in your friendship already.

百分之百。

Percent.

即使你说你不想搞圈子那种互动，我也很好奇你平时是怎么带动话题的。

Even you saying that you don't want circle level stuff, I'm curious on what you bring, how you bring the conversations in.

你有带来深度吗？

Are you bringing depth?

因为我知道，在我的友谊中，如果我想有深度，我就会主动带出深度。

Because I know in my friendships, if I want depth, I'm gonna bring the depth.

嗯。

Yeah.

我不会和蒂安娜聊天气。

I'm not gonna talk about the weather with Tiana.

我会和她聊我们的创伤。

I'm gonna talk about our trauma.

所以如果你关心的是我们的大目标，以及过去一周我们经历了什么，那就凌晨五点去聊吧。

So if you're in, like, what our big goals are and what's come up for us in the last week, like, go there at 5AM in the morning.

我们确实会。

We do.

嗯。

Yeah.

我们会深入交流，因为这就是我们想要的。

You know, we bring that level of depth because that's what we want.

如果别人不愿意和我们达到这种深度，那百分百你可以拓展圈子，寻找新的友谊。

And if people aren't willing to meet us there, then a 100% you can branch out and look for new friendships.

有时候你会与某些人渐行渐远。

And sometimes you do outgrow people.

我们在这里只有这么多背景信息，但我认为你需要向内探索，问问自己你以怎样的方式出现，以及你为这段关系带来了什么。

And we've only got so much context here, but I do think you need to go within and ask your questions how you're showing up and what you're bringing to the table.

很多时候，当我们渴望更多某样东西时，我们必须率先以身作则。

And a lot of the times when we want more of something, we have to lead with that.

是的。

Yeah.

所以我认为，你要高举火炬，带头前行。

So I think hold the torch and lead.

我非常喜欢这些话。

I love all of that.

我觉得这太棒了。

I think it's great.

我同意。

I agree.

你就说：没错。

You're like, yep.

节目结束了。

Episode done.

不。

No.

你拥有

You've got

更多相关内容。

more on this.

话筒放下。

Mic drop.

话筒放下。

Mic drop.

作为一个曾经觉得属于自己的东西不够的人，我理解这种心态。

As someone who used to feel like there wasn't enough for me, I understand the headspace.

嗯。

Mhmm.

别人在做、渴望、受到你所做事情的启发，并不意味着就没有你的空间。

People doing, wanting, being inspired by what it is that you're doing doesn't mean that there's no room for you.

是的。

Yeah.

我觉得这一点值得记住：别人做同样的事，并不会剥夺你正在做的事情，实际上并不意味着任何负面的东西。

And I think that's something to just, like, remember that it's like this person doing that doesn't take away from you what you're doing, it doesn't actually mean anything bad.

也许就像阿什莉说的，那是你脑海中编造的一个故事，认为他们抄袭你，或者他们所谓的‘抄袭’是在夺走你的东西。

And maybe like what Ashley said, like, that's a story that you're creating in your head that it's bad that they're copying you or that maybe that they're quote, unquote copying you is taking away from you.

你知道我的意思吗？

Know You what I mean?

但谁说他们在抄袭了？

But it's like, who said that they're copying?

你明白我的意思吗？

Do know what mean?

嗯。

Yeah.

我想说的是，跑步是一种普遍的活动。

The think what I wanted to say in this is, like, running is a universal thing.

我正想说，你在哪里看到跑步的？

I was gonna say, where did you see running?

我打赌你看到的是

Bet you saw

一些Instagram上的跑步内容。

some Instagram running.

我们爱你，但跑步是一种普遍的活动。

Like, we love you, but running is a universal thing.

就像我坐在这里说：阿什，你抄袭了我，因为你把头发染成了棕色。

It's like me sitting here and going, Ash, you copied me because you dyed your hair brown.

但事实上，你能染的头发颜色只有三四种而已。

But, like, there's only three, four colors that you can dye your hair.

你知道吗

Do know what

我的意思是？

I mean?

比如，真的。

Like True.

丽莎，我真的不介意。

Lisa, like, I'm not offended.

我不觉得她在模仿我。

I don't think she's copying me.

我觉得她只是喜欢棕色头发，

I think she likes brown hair,

然后她说，这很有感觉。

and she was like, that's a vibe.

蒂安娜可没有独占棕色。

Tiana doesn't own the color brown.

没错。

That's right.

我不会在这里大惊小怪。

I'm not gonna be here like, oh my god.

只有我才能拥有棕色头发。

I'm the only person who can have brown hair.

而且，我们也在为这件事带来一些轻松和趣味。

Like, and also we're bringing some light and playfulness to this.

希望你知道这一点。

Like, hope you know that.

但这种事情就是这样，你可以把它看作是积极的灵感，也可以选择把它看作是消极的事情。

But it's just one of those things where it's like, yes, it can be inspiration that you can see it as a positive thing or you can choose to see it as a negative thing.

而且，也许这根本不是来自你。

And also, maybe it didn't come from you.

没错。

True.

也许她看到另一个跑步的人，那个人正在TikTok上记录自己的旅程。

Maybe there was another person that she saw that was a runner, and they were documenting their journey on TikTok.

然后她心想，你知道吗？

And then they will she was like, you know what?

我现在的脑子有点乱。

My head's a little bit messy at the moment.

也许我需要为自己做点什么。

Maybe I need something for myself.

嗯。

Yeah.

也许我需要一点心态上的鼓舞。

Maybe I need a little bit of a mindset pick me up.

于是她决定去跑步，因为我觉得需要释放体内的能量。

And then she decided I'm gonna go for a run because I need to exert the energy in my body.

对吧？

Right?

当我们陷入一种心态，觉得一切事情都与自己有关，别人做的每一件事都是针对我们时，我们就会经常被轻易激怒，因为一切都感觉像是个人攻击。

When we're in this mindset of, like, making everything about us, like, everything about what everybody else does about us, we can end up being really triggered all the time because everything feels like personal attack.

对。

Yeah.

但很多时候，别人都只在想着他们自己。

But oftentimes, everyone else is just thinking about themselves.

对吧？

Right?

你是你世界的中心。

You are the center of your world.

对吧？

Right?

你的世界真的围绕着你运转。

Your world literally revolves around you.

我的世界也围绕着我运转。

My world revolves around me.

阿什利的世界以她为中心，反之亦然。

Ashley's world revolves around her and vice versa.

你

Do you

明白我的意思吗？

know I mean?

各人有各人的活法。

Everyone to their own.

所以我认为这也值得注意：人们只是在做对自己有利的事。

So I think this is also something to take note of as well is that people are just doing what is good for them.

是的。

Yeah.

除非你们之间有什么糟糕的、奇怪的能量，我觉得应该没问题。

Unless you have some, like, bad weird energy between you two, I think it's gonna be okay.

而且如果真有那种糟糕的、奇怪的能量，那就谈一谈。

And there's also if there is that bad weird energy, like, a conversation.

是的。

Yeah.

尤其是你把它带进来了。

Especially you bring it in.

但即使如此，抱歉。

But even though sorry.

回到跑步的话题。

Back to the running.

你知道，目前最大的趋势之一就是跑步俱乐部。

You know, one of the biggest trends at the moment is fucking run clubs.

确实如此。

That's so true.

人人都在跑步。

Everyone's running.

每个人，汤姆、迪克、哈里，还有他们的该死的狗和隔壁邻居。

Every man, Tom, Dick, and Harry, and their fucking dogs and next door neighbors.

我们散步的时候，有五十个人。

When we walk, there's 50 of them.

天哪。

My god.

前几天我们去散步了。

We we went for a walk the other day.

我们不得不走路。

Had to walk.

整段路我们都得排成单列，因为不断有人经过跑步。

We had to single file it the whole walk because people were coming through and running.

我们心想，你们自便吧。

We're like, do your thing.

但这太棒了，我们甚至没法聊天，因为得一直排成单列。

But it's great, but we couldn't even be in a conversation because we had to keep going single file.

跑步真是个潮流。

Like, running is a trend.

确实是。

It is.

人人都在参与，我简直太喜欢了。

Everyone's jumping on board, and I fucking love it.

而且现在大家都说，去跑步俱乐部吧，就当是找个新单身朋友的约会方式。

And also, everyone is like, let's go to Run Club for, like, a new singles dating thing.

就像现在跑步成了一种约会方式。

Like, it's like a dating thing now.

再说回跑步，如果你买了和我一样的跑步机，我们难道不会听身边人的建议吗？无论是朋友、家人、社交媒体还是网红？

And also on the back to the running again, if you bought the same treadmill as you, do we not take recommendations from the people around us, whether that's your friends, your family, social media, influencers?

那我为什么要去做这些呢？

Like, why would I go and do all that?

我的意思是，你可以。

I mean, you can.

但就我个人而言，比如说吧。

But personally, like, say for example okay.

桑拿房。

The sauna.

我有一个Nook桑拿房。

I've got a Nook sauna.

当我做研究时，我有点不知所措。

When I was researching, I got a bit overwhelmed.

我当时想：我根本不知道什么灯光好或坏，木材来自哪里。

I'm like, I don't fucking know what lighting's good or bad, where the timber comes from.

Levi做了大量研究。

Levi did extensive research.

我们太喜欢了。

Oh, we love that.

他彻头彻尾是个研究者，专门研究最好的木材、最佳的灯光、最合理的价格，同时支持本地公司。

He is a researcher through and through on the best timber, the best lighting for the best pricing to support a local company.

他买了一个Nook。

He bought a nook.

我做了什么？

What did I do?

我买了一个Nook。

I got a nook.

他为我开始了研究。

He started the research for me.

我会听取一个我尊重和爱戴的人的建议

I'm gonna take a recommendation of someone that I respect and love

当然。

For sure.

而且她对健康非常热衷。

And that is super passionate about health.

如果她看到你买了一台很棒的跑步机，而且享受跑步，没错。

If she saw you got a great treadmill and you're enjoying your running Yeah.

她跟你用同样的跑步机又有什么关系？

What does it matter if she got same treadmill as you?

是的。

Yeah.

我和你一样。

I'm the same with you.

比如，有一种很棒的膳食纤维补充剂，阿什利在吃，她一直跟我说：亲爱的，你得试试这个。

Like, there's this great fiber supplement that Ashley takes, and she's been like, babe, you need to try this.

是的。

Yeah.

你得试试这个。

You need to try this.

我说：好吧。

I'm like, okay.

不错。

Cool.

我知道阿什利会做足功课的。是的。

I know Ashley's gonna do her due diligence Yes.

她服用的补充剂，因为她不会随便往身体里放任何东西。

In the supplements she takes because she doesn't just put just anything into her body.

没错。

No.

我知道这一点。

I'm aware of that.

所以我了解并信任她。

So I know I love and trust her.

是的。

Yeah.

我完全相信她只会选择最顶尖、最好的东西进入身体。

I totally trust that she's gonna put anything into her body that is only gonna be the best of the best.

没错。

Yep.

我知道我会采纳这个建议，因为她已经做了所有的研究。

I know I'm gonna use that recommendation because she's already done the work.

你知道，她已经做过研究了。

You know, she's already done the research.

她已经深入了解过了。

She's already looked into it.

她知道这个比她试过的另外三个效果更好。

She knows that this one works better than the three other ones that she's tried.

我会采纳

I'm gonna take

这个建议。

that recommendation.

情况类似，我目前已经和我的自然疗法医生合作了六个月以上，如果你现在也有同样的自然疗法医生，让我这么说吧，如果我真是天哪。

It'd be similar, like, I've worked with my naturopath now for over six months, and then if you've got the same naturopath now, like, just to put this in perspective, if I was oh my gosh.

蒂安娜复制了我。

Tiana's copied me.

她用的是我的自然疗法医生。

She's using my naturopath.

好像我拥有这位自然疗法医生一样。

As if I own the naturopath.

是的。

Yeah.

你知道的。

You know?

这出自爱意。

And this is coming from love.

我只是想提供一个不同的观点和视角。

I'm just trying to give it a different view and perspective perspective.

我能听出来，这里有很多关于你朋友行为的触发点，但我想我们最近也一直在谈论一件事：永远不要对别人抱最坏的假设。

I can hear there's lots of triggers in here around what your friends are doing, but I think something we've always also been talking about lately too is never assuming the worst of someone.

而是要假设他们最好的一面。

Actually, assuming the best of them.

我认为这是一种美好的方式，能促进更多连接，避免疏离。

And I think it's a beautiful way to bring more connection in and to prevent disconnect.

因为如果你总是假设朋友有最坏的意图，他们会感受到的。

Because if you just are constantly assuming the worst of your friends, they feel it.

你甚至不需要说任何话，他们就能感受到。

You don't even have to say anything, they feel it.

所以如果你感觉到和朋友之间有了距离，我认为这正是你承担责任的绝佳机会，是的。

So if you're feeling that distance between your friends, I think this is a beautiful opportunity for you to take responsibility for the Yeah.

你在这段可能逐渐疏远的友谊中所扮演的角色。

Part that you are playing in this maybe friendship drifting apart.

我真的很喜欢这一点。

I do love that.

在任何时候，你都可以转变心态。

And at any point in time, you can switch gears.

嗯。

Mhmm.

你可以主动介入，说：天哪。

And you can bring in and be like, oh my gosh.

我注意到你买了和我一样的跑步机。

I noticed you got the same treadmill as me.

想不想来场跑步比赛？

Do wanna have a running competition?

你知道的。

You know?

咱们互相监督步数吧，比如你跑五公里有多快？

Let's keep each other accountable with our steps and, like, how fast are you running for the five kilometers?

天哪。

Oh my gosh.

你有没有兴趣一起跑个马拉松？

Like, do you wanna do a fucking marathon together?

我也不知道。

I'm like, I don't know.

来点有趣的东西吧，能增进联系、互相监督，也带来更多乐趣。

Like, bring something in that's playful and actually brings connection in, brings accountability, and brings more fun in.

是的。

Yeah.

你可以用很多不同的方式来看待你所提到的一切。

There's so many different ways you can view everything that

你所说的。

you've said.

确实如此。

It's so true.

说实话，人生中你可以选择如何看待事物，是消极还是积极。

Honestly, you get to choose in life how you view things and whether it's gonna be negative or positive.

是的。

Yeah.

我并不想忽视或削弱你的经历，但像这样看似微不足道的事情。

I don't wanna, like, not dismiss or, like, take away from your experience whatsoever, but it's something as, like, trivial as something like this.

你可以想象一下，如果你把这份精力和时间投入到你的爱好中，投入到那些让你充满热情的事情上，或者投入到这些友谊中。

It's like, imagine if you poured that energy and time into, like, pouring into your, you know, your hobbies, all the things that light you up or investing into those friendships.

这需要耗费大量的精力才能保持这种心态。

It's like, it takes a lot of energy to be in this headspace.

我之所以这么说，是因为我亲身经历过。

And I can only say because I've done it.

是的。

Yes.

太让人疲惫了。

It's exhausting.

对吧？

Right?

因为你一直

Because you're

嗯。

Yeah.

你总是活在自己的思绪里，不断反复琢磨：这个人喜不喜欢我，是不是在模仿我，他们的意图是什么，是不是嫉妒我。

You're constantly living in your head and, like, going back and forth of, if this person likes me or if they're copying me or what their intentions are or if they're jealous of are.

是的。

Yeah.

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Honestly, like, shameless plug, join Rise Inside and go month one and do the nervous system I've got a game changer.

他们会极大地帮助你应对这些触发点。

They will help you with these triggers so so much.

是的。

Yeah.

但我认为这一切最重要的事是，你真的要检视自己：你赋予这个故事什么意义？是的。

But I think the biggest thing of all of this is, like, I really want you to check-in with yourself of, like, what you're making this story mean Yeah.

关于你，关于她，关于她的意图。

About you, about her, about her intentions.

你是否假设她模仿你，是在剥夺你的什么？

Are you assuming that her copying you takes away from what?

你构建的叙事是什么？是的。

What's the narrative you're making Yeah.

嗯。

Yeah.

你内心真正浮现的是什么？

What's actually coming up for you?

当你能明确出你觉得被夺走的是什么时，我想你就会明白自己为什么会这样行为。

And then when you can pinpoint what you think is being taken away, then I think you'll understand why you're behaving that way.

而且，我们也只获得了有限的背景信息。

And, also, we're only getting a certain amount of context.

但如果你觉得这段友谊已经完成了它的使命，那也没关系。

But, also, if you are feeling like this friendship has done its time, that's also okay as well.

改变主意是可以的。

It's okay to change your mind.

超越某些人是可以的。

It's okay to outgrow people.

敞开心扉去建立新的友谊吧。

Be open to making new friendships.

我知道当我和蒂安娜相遇时，确实凸显出我们生活中一些友谊并不那么契合，没错。

I know when Tiana and I met, it did really highlight that some friendships in our lives weren't as aligned Yeah.

或者没有那么紧密、安全、有趣，或者我们没有相同的价值观。

Or as connected or as safe or as fun or we didn't have the same values.

这让我们清楚地看到了这一切，但这并不意味着我们没有其他朋友，或者不那么爱他们。

Like, it did highlight all of that for us, and it's not that we don't have other friends or don't love them equally as much.

人们都说，哇。

People were like, wow.

这段友谊真的如此契合。

This friendship was so aligned.

没错。

Yeah.

这就是我们为什么一起打造一些东西，而且花很多时间在一起，因为感觉太好了。

That this is why we're building something together, and we spend a lot of time together because it feels so good.

所以，永远对新的友谊保持开放的心态，看看会走向何方。

So always keep your heart open to new friendships and see where that goes.

但我确实认为，你需要深入剖析自己为何会有这样的感受，同时也要尽量往好的方面想。

But I definitely think there's a lot of unpacking as to why you're feeling the way you are and to just assume the best Yeah.

也许你可以更坦诚地与自己、与她进行一些交流。

And maybe have some more open conversations with yourself and with her.

听好了。

Look.

如果她真的偷走你的男朋友之类的事，那就是另一回事了。

Different story if she's, like, stealing your boyfriends and stuff.

哦。

Oh.

那种情况确实不一样。

Like, that's a different Yes.

那是完全不同的问题。

That's a different conversation.

天哪。

Oh my goodness.

你知道吗？

You know?

但我的意思是，你明白吗？

But it's do you what I mean?

当我们从这个角度去看的时候，确实是这样。

Like, when we put it into perspective, it's like Yes.

也许她喜欢健康。

Maybe she likes health.

也许她喜欢你做事的方式。

Maybe she likes the way that you do things.

也许她受到你的启发。

Maybe she's inspired by you.

我觉得她欣赏你。

I think admires you.

你知道吗？

And you know what as well?

还有一点要注意的是，潜意识里，当我们和某人相处很多时间时，会不自觉地模仿他们的举止，学习他们做事的方式，并无意识地吸收这些信息。

Something to note as well, like, unconsciously, like, when we spend a lot of time with people, we kinda do pick up their mannerisms and, like, we get to learn the way that they do things, and we unconsciously take that information in.

是的。

Yes.

你明白我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

被他们影响。

Influenced by them.

受到影响。

Influenced.

对。

Yeah.

我们会被最常相处的那五个人所影响。

We're influenced by, like, the five people that we spend the most time with.

所以这不一定是什么坏事，但是，

So it's not necessarily a bad thing, but,

是啊，你就说，如果你皮肤发光，我会想：你到底用的什么保湿霜？

yeah, you can just It's like if you have glowing skin, I'm like, what the fuck moisturizer you're using?

是的。

Yes.

我昨天买了那款保湿霜。

I bought that moisturizer yesterday.

你就会说，但我就是不能

You're like, but I can't I

你衬衫下面根本看不到乳头。

can't see your nipples through your shirt.

你戴的是哪种胸贴？

What stickies are you wearing?

实际上，100%。

Actually, a 100%.

我确实用了。

And I did.