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欢迎收听She Rises播客。
Welcome to the She Rises podcast.
我是Ashy。
I'm Ashy.
我是Tiana。
And I'm Tiana.
这个播客聚焦女性赋权，鼓励你成为最强大、最勇敢、最真实的自己。
This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself.
我们帮助你摆脱羞耻，成长到
We help you shed the shame, grow to
一个新的层次。
a new level.
我们会笑、会哭，
We're gonna laugh, cry,
并讨论那些别人都不敢谈的话题。
and talk about the topics everyone else is too afraid to talk about.
准备好迎接你的更高层次的自我。
Get ready for your next level self.
大家好。
Hello, everybody.
欢迎回到《She Rises》艾希和蒂安娜的周三节目。
Welcome back to She Rises' Ashy and Tiana Wednesday episode.
今天，我们要全面聊聊爱的语言。
Today, we're gonna be talking all about love languages.
我们之前在播客里简单提过这个话题。
This is something we have spoken about briefly on the podcast before.
你们可能听过一些零散的部分，但我们还是经常收到私信，希望我们做一期完整的节目。
You might have heard little bits and pieces, but we still get quite a few DMs asking us to do a full episode.
它们是什么？
What are they?
我们该如何运用它们？
How do we incorporate them?
为什么它们会存在？
Why do we have them there?
它们如何体现在我们的关系中？
How they show up in our relationship?
那么，今天我们来聊聊这个话题。
So, well, let's talk about it today.
我们来谈谈吧。
Let's talk
关于这个话题。
about it.
首先，五个爱的语言是什么？
So first of all, what are the five love languages?
爱的语言是你表达和接受爱的方式。
So love languages are a way that you give and receive love.
通常会有一两个最让你在意的，但实际上，我们都喜欢所有的表达方式。
And there's normally, like, one or two driving ones that you like the most, but in reality, we like all of them.
但你会发现，有一两个特别的方式会让你觉得，当那个人做X、Y、Z的时候，我真被深深爱着。
But you'll find there's one or two particular ones that let you, oh, makes me feel so loved when that person does x y z.
是的。
Yeah.
所以有一种是身体接触。
So there's physical touch.
这很明显。
It's an obvious one.
很多拥抱和亲吻，亲密感，甚至像开车时手放在腿上这样的小动作。
Lots of cuddles and kisses, intimacy, even if it's like driving, hand on the lap
对。
Yeah.
牵手、轻轻触碰脖子、在额头上亲吻，就是那种被触碰的感觉。
Holding hands, little brush of the neck, kisses on the forehead, just like being touched.
是的。
Yeah.
还有送礼物。
There's gifts.
嗯。
Mhmm.
很明显就是买礼物。
Obvious buying gifts.
嗯。
Mhmm.
这就像惊喜或者只是小物件。
That's like surprises or just like figures.
是的。
Yeah.
食物。
Food.
这很有趣。
That's fun.
鲜花。
Flowers.
还有肯定的语言。
There is words of affirmation.
那就是彼此之间的交流。
So that's like talking to each other.
我为你感到骄傲。
I'm so proud of you.
天啊。
Oh my gosh.
你看起来真美。
You look so beautiful.
天啊。
Oh my gosh.
我爱你。
I love you.
我相信
I believe
你。
in you.
哇。
Wow.
你和这个真的很配。
You just go well with that.
你是我这辈子见过最聪明的人。
You're just the smartest person I've ever met in my life.
一条小短信。
Little text message.
消息。
Message.
感谢你。
Appreciate you.
是的。
Yep.
你今天简直太棒了。
Like, you killed it today.
就像一些话语一样。
Just like words.
我爱这些词。
I love words.
我感谢你。
I appreciate you.
还有服务行动，就是别人为你做些事情。
There's acts of service, so people doing something for you.
所以它
So it
比如帮你洗碗，是的。
could be Doing the dishes for you Yep.
或者在你不在家的时候整理房间。
Or tidying the house while you're away or while you're out.
给脚按摩。
Massaging the feet.
去购物，买杂货。
Going to the shops, getting the groceries.
回家路上顺便给你带点东西。
Picking something up on the way home for you.
管家去给你车加满油。
Houseman goes and fills your car up.
是的。
Yes.
就像做些让你生活更轻松的服务行为。
Just like the act of going to do a service that makes your life easier.
是的。
Yes.
然后还有高质量的陪伴时间
And then there is quality time
嗯。
Mhmm.
这同样也是一个显而易见的方面。
Which is an obvious one as well.
就像花时间专注地、有意识地在一起。
So just like spending quality, intentional present time.
手机都放一边。
Phones are away.
对。
Yeah.
眼神交流。
Eye contact.
是的。
Yeah.
做一些只属于你们两个人、能让你们在更深层次上建立连接的事情。
Doing something that's just you two together that you can really connect on that deeper level.
是的。
Yeah.
不是在家或工作中像擦肩而过的船只那样。
Not just passing ships at home or at work.
而是真正投入其中的高质量相处。
It's like actual quality plugged into it.
这不仅仅是并排坐着却各自做不同的事情。
This is not just, like, spending time side by side while doing separate things.
对。
Yes.
这是有意识的。
This is intentional.
没有任何阻碍。
Nothing is in the way.
没有干扰或别的东西。
No distractions or nothing.
你们正在享受真正投入的时光。
You're having actual plugged in time.
是的。
Yep.
我不知道这是否正确，但我听说过，童年时缺乏的东西，往往会成为成年后主要的爱的语言。
I don't know if this is true, but I have heard that whatever you were starved of as a kid will be your prominent love language as an adult.
很有趣。
Interesting.
我个人认为这是对的。
I personally do think it's true.
它可能不是这样，但我确实认为这是对的，因为你们的爱的语言也会随时间改变。
It might not be, but I do think it's true because your love languages can change over time too.
我见过并亲身感受到，随着我们人生不同阶段的变化，以及是否在某一方面取得成功，我和史蒂夫的内心状态也会随之改变。
And I've seen and witnessed and felt mind change and Steve's change depending on what season in life we're at and whether we're nailing one.
比如，我的主要爱的语言一直是实际行动。
Like, for example, mine was always acts of service Yeah.
因为我的父母很少为我做事情。
Because my parents didn't really do much for me.
我总是得自己走路去任何地方。
I always had to walk everywhere.
他们从不帮我做作业，因为他们俩都在工作。
They didn't really help with homework because they were both working.
我总是得靠朋友搭我一程。
I I always had to, like, get lifts off my friends.
我觉得他们根本就没在身边为我做这些事。
I felt like they just weren't there to do things for me.
是的。
Yeah.
他们提供了家，而且你知道，已经尽力了。
They provided a home and, you know, did the best they could.
所以当任何人为我做点什么时，我都会想，天哪。
So when anyone does anything for me, I just I'm like, oh my gosh.
我感到被深深爱着。
I feel so loved.
他们本可以有时间做这些，或者甚至根本不在乎就做了。
Like, they had times to do that or, like, they did that without even caring.
是的。
Yeah.
即使我让父母帮我做点什么，那也像是巨大的负担。
Even if I asked my parents to do something, it was just, like, the biggest burden.
所以这一直是我自己的事。
So that was always mine.
当我怀上塔拉时，史蒂夫主动承担了一切，因为我当时更不舒服、更疲惫。
And then when I got pregnant with Tala, Steve just stepped up and did everything because I was a bit more sick, a bit more tired.
我晚上睡不了多少觉，而他什么都做了。
I wasn't getting much sleep at night, and he just did everything.
所以那种感觉就消失了。
So that kind of went away.
感觉现在得到了满足。
Was like, that's getting fulfilled now.
是的。
Yeah.
现在是身体接触了。
Now it's physical touch.
是的。
Yeah.
我想要更多的接触。
I wanted more touch.
嗯。
Mhmm.
而他的情况正好相反。
And his was the opposite.
他一直需要身体接触，然后他有了孩子。
It was always physical touch, and then he had kids.
你该看看他晚上是什么样子。
You should see him at nighttime.
他实际上躺在沙发上。
He's actually on the couch.
两个孩子都想要靠在他身上。
Both kids are wanting to be on him.
Taco、Frizzy，大家都想靠着他。
Taco, Frizzy, everyone's wanting him.
是的。
Yeah.
来自他的拥抱。
Cuddles from him.
所以他的主要爱的语言已经不再是身体接触了，因为他有时会感到被拥抱得太多，因为每个人都想和他亲昵。
So it's not his main love language anymore because he always gets a bit touched out sometimes because everyone wants his cuddles.
是的。
Yeah.
他就像一种安全、平静的能量，我觉得每个人，甚至动物都特别被他吸引。
He's just like a safe, calm energy that I think everyone, even animals are very drawn to.
到。
To.
聚集到聚集到。
Gravitate Gravitate to.
所以看到这种变化很有趣，但直到最近，我才意识到爱的语言并不仅仅只有两种。
So it's interesting to see how it changes, but only recently, I've acknowledged that there isn't just two.
比如，我其实真的很享受所有的表达方式。
Like, I actually really enjoy all of them.
我喜欢你夸我。
I love when you praise me.
我喜欢你在随便哪一天给我带回家花。
I love when you bring me home flowers just on a random day.
是的。
Yeah.
我喜欢共度时光。
I love the quality time.
我喜欢礼物。
I love A gift.
是的。
Yeah.
全部都喜欢。
All of it.
想要并享受这一切并没有错。
And it's not bad to want and enjoy all of it.
但你会发现，你会以自己希望被对待的方式去付出爱。
But what you'll notice is you will give love in the way that you wanna receive it.
当然。
Absolutely.
所以我记得托尼·罗宾斯在一个活动中说过，你经常会听到丈夫或妻子说：我为他们做了所有事。
So I remember Tony Robbins saying one of his events that you'll hear, like, say, a husband or a wife just be like, I do everything for them.
就是，所有事。
Like, everything.
你觉得自己已经做了他们想要的一切，但其实并不是他们真正想要的。
It's like you've done everything you think they want, but not what they actually want.
是的。
Yeah.
所以如果一个男人说：我倒垃圾、洗碗、做所有这些事，那好吧。
So if a man says, I take out the garbage and I do the dishes and I do all these things, it's like, okay.
你确实做到了服务行动。
You're nailing acts of service.
但你有没有真正满足她对高质量陪伴的需求，如果那是她的爱的语言呢？
But have you actually plugged in her quality time, if that's her love language?
她不会感到被爱。
She's not gonna feel loved.
或者你有没有以她需要和渴望的方式给予她身体接触？但你做了这么多事，她却并没有感受到你付出的爱，因为你表达爱的方式并不是她所接收的爱。
Or have you given her any physical touch in the way that she needs it and craves it, but then you've done all these things and she's not receiving the love in the way that you're giving it and the effort that you're actually pouring in simply because she's not receiving it as love.
她只是觉得你在为她做些事情。
She's receiving it as you just doing something for her.
确实如此。
Literally.
因为这并没有以身体接触的方式触动她的爱的语言。
Because it doesn't hit the love language in the way that physical touch would.
对。
Yeah.
所以，你可能花了十个月的时间为她做各种事情，但只要一个月里偶尔轻轻拍拍她的屁股、摸摸她的脖子、亲亲她的脸这样的身体接触，就能比那些事情更充分地填满她的内心。
So, like, you could do ten months worth of doing things for her, but, like, one month worth of physical touch little grabs on the bum, like brushes, you know, on the neck or kisses on the face and things like that would fill her cup up so much more than the other stuff.
是的。
Yes.
因此，检查清楚对方的需求非常重要，否则你只会做自己习惯的事。
And so it's really important to check-in what it is because otherwise, you'll just do what's natural for you.
是的。
Yeah.
如果情侣双方的爱的语言相同，关系会容易很多，因为你不需要刻意去思考。
And it is a lot easier for couples if you both have the same love language because you don't have to think about it.
这是无意识的。
It's unconscious.
如果你们俩都偏好身体接触，那就很简单了。
If you've both got physical touch, boom.
你们都会自然而然地这么做。
You're both gonna naturally do that.
但如果一方是语言肯定，另一方是身体接触，你就必须有意识地投入时间和精力去满足对方的爱的语言。
But if one's words and one's physical touch, you actually have to be very conscious to put active time and effort into fulfilling that love language.
这可能会非常具有挑战性。
That can be really challenging.
是的。
Yeah.
我之前的恋情就是这样，我的爱的语言是身体接触和肯定的言辞，是的。
I have my previous relationship was like that where my love language was physical touch and words of affirmation Yeah.
而他的爱的语言是服务行为，哦，没错。
And his was acts of service Oh, and yes.
质量时间。
Quality time.
没错。
Yep.
对他来说，他会提供服务行为和质量时间，但不太注重身体接触，而身体接触对我来说才是最重要的。
So for him, he would give acts of service and quality time, but then wouldn't be so big on the physical touch, whereas the physical touch was, like, my number one.
然后我感到自己完全被剥夺了这些，但他却说：‘但我做了这么多啊，我在这里，我做了所有这些事，我陪着你，我们共度了质量时间。’
And then I felt, like, so deprived of all of those, but he was like, but I do all the and I'm here and I'm I'm doing all these things and, like, I'm present and I'm we spend quality time together.
我说：‘是的，但你没有，你没有碰我，没有拥抱我，没有在睡前给我五分钟的依偎时间，这真的非常缺失，我的付出感觉没有得到回应。’
I'm like, yeah, but you're not, you know, you're not touching me, cuddling me, you're not like giving me that five minutes of cuddle time before bed and it just like it was really missed, effort didn't feel matched.
是的。
Yeah.
你知道吗？
You know?
因此，很容易误解伴侣为你所做的一切，因为这些行为并没有以你视为爱的方式被接收。
So it's really easy to like misconstrue the way that your partner is doing things for you because it's just not received in a way that you see as love.
如果你不了解这些，可能会感到非常沮丧，这正是我想讨论它的原因——如果你不理解，你会觉得像在撞墙，因为你觉得自己已经付出了很多。
And it can be frustrating if that's why I wanted to talk about it because if you don't understand these, you'll feel like you're banging your head against a wall because you're like, I'm trying so hard.
无论怎么做都不够好。
It's never gonna be good enough.
是的。
Yeah.
但如果你能去了解他们真正需要和想要的是什么，我就在之前的节目中提到过，因为我和史蒂夫一直在讨论这五种方式，他说他想努力提升所有五种，而不仅仅是你最喜欢的那一种。
But, actually, if you just check-in what they actually need and want and I said this on a previous episode because Steve and I've been talking about all five of them, and he's said, I really wanna improve on doing all five of them, not just the one that you say is your favorite.
是的。
Yeah.
为什么我不能全部做到呢？
Why can't I do all of them?
是的。
Yes.
太棒了。
Love that.
我也反思过了。
I reflected too.
我在想，我该怎么为他做到这五种呢？
I'm like, well, how can I do all of five for him?
不一定要每周每天都做，但尽量经常做，是的。
It doesn't have to be every day of every week, but, like, often as you can Yeah.
想想那些你可以做的小事。
Think about those little things that you can do.
就像前几天你看到的，史蒂夫在我书桌上留了一张小纸条，写着‘我爱你’。
Just like even you saw the other day, Steve wrote, I love you on a little note down on my desk.
我知道。
I know.
太可爱了。
Was so cute.
花两秒钟就能做到，是的。
Would've taken two seconds Yeah.
但真的让我的一整天都变好了。
But, like, made my whole day.
是的。
Yeah.
太可爱了。
So cute.
微小的事情，持续不断的微小瞬间，会让你们的关系始终更紧密，让对方感受到你的爱。
Little things, little little micro moments consistently will keep your relationship consistently more connected, and they'll feel love from you.
是的。
Yeah.
你为什么谈恋爱？
Why are you in a relationship?
为了被爱、被支持、被拥抱，是的。
To feel loved, to feel supported, to feel held Yeah.
为了获得惊喜，一起体验生活，创造美好。
To get surprised, to, like, experience life and make that beautiful together.
但这不仅仅适用于亲密关系。
But it's not just your intimate relationships.
朋友也是如此。
It's your friends too.
是的。
Yeah.
还有你的同事。
And your coworkers.
确实如此。
It is.
这是你的孩子所做的事。
It's what your kids do.
确实是。
It is.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
它体现在各个不同的领域，这也是因为人类本就如此。
It shows up in all different areas, and it's also it's because it's humans.
你面对的是人。
You're dealing with humans.
你面对的是一种关系。
You're dealing with a relationship.
说得好。
Good point.
你明白我的意思吗？
Do you know what I mean?
就像，我们通常只在亲密关系中关注爱的语言，但在其他所有领域却不会，你知道的？
Like, it's like we only really look at love languages in our intimate relationships, but not in every other area, you know?
所以我觉得，当你建立起真正安全、深厚的朋友关系，并且把它们当作你的亲密关系来对待时，是的。
And so I feel like when you get to create friendships that are really safe and deep and, you know, you treat them as your intimate relationships Yeah.
和那些关系一样重要。
As important as those.
然后你开始明白，好吧。
And then you start to learn, okay.
不错。
Cool.
我该如何以对方能接收到的方式向这个人表达爱意呢？
Like, how can I show this person love in a way that they're gonna receive it?
是的。
Yeah.
你知道，你会开始更多地去询问。
You know, you start to inquire a little bit more.
就是这样，是的。
And it's just Yeah.
真美。
Beautiful.
太美了。
It's so beautiful.
是的。
Yeah.
你可以问你的朋友，也可以留意他们是如何表达爱的。
And you can ask your friends, but also just take note in how they give love.
你啊，挺简单的。
Like, you're an easy one.
你总是给每个人买花。
You buy everyone flowers.
她超爱花。
She fucking loves flowers.
太简单了。
So easy.
我知道你爱这样，因为你总是这么做。
I know that you love that because you always do it.
Jess也是，我们的朋友Jess。
Same with Jess, our friend Jess.
是的。
Yeah.
有意思。
Interesting.
她喜欢收到花。
Loves receiving flowers.
她总是给每个人送花。
She always gives everyone flowers.
这很明显。
It's like an obvious.
有意思。
Interesting.
你给予爱的方式，就是你希望被对待的方式。
You give love how you wanna receive it.
是的。
Yes.
完全正确。
Totally.
总是为每个人做一切。
Always do everything for everyone.
是的。
Yeah.
每一个服务的行为。
Every act of service.
是的。
Yeah.
我会尽一切办法去修复、帮助、提供解决方案，让每个人的生活都轻松一点。
Every way I can fix, help, solutions of, like, I will make everyone's life easy.
因为那就是我想要的。
Because that's what I wanted.
我希望别人也能这样对我。
I wanted people to do that for me.
你确实就是这样。
You do do that.
但当你意识到这一点时，你会想：哦。
But when once you're aware of it, you're like, oh.
如果你不确定朋友的爱的表达方式，就观察他们是如何付出爱的，这会给你一个很好的线索。
So if you're not sure on your friends, just observe how they give love, and it'll give you a pretty good idea.
你也是个重视礼物的人。
You're also a gifts person.
我吗？
Am I?
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
我们走吧。
We go.
我不是每次都说，但确实有很多次，我一上车，你就说，嘿，宝贝。
Like, I swear not not not every time, but, like, there are a lot of times when I come in the car and you'd like, oh, hey, babe.
我刚给你买了这个。
I just bought you this.
我刚给你弄了这个。
I just got you this.
就像，你会给自己买一些东西，但也会给我买一份。
Like like, it's something that you'll buy for yourself, but then you'll also buy me one too.
是的。
Yeah.
你在这方面真的非常体贴又慷慨。
You're just, like, really thoughtful and generous in that sense.
你会买一些小东西，比如我给你买了查基玩偶，或者我给你买了这个，或者我给你买了肌酸软糖，你知道的，你总是这样。
Like, you'll buy, like, little it's gonna be like, I bought your Chucky or, I bought you this or I bought you creatine gummies or, you know, you just you do.
你也是一个特别喜欢送礼物的人。
You're very much a gift person too.
是的。
Yeah.
尤其是你单身的时候，照顾好自己。
And especially while you're single, taking care of you.
哎呀。
Aw.
谢谢你
Thanks for
我就是喜欢宠着你。
being I like spoiling you.
但没错，你说得对。
But, yeah, you're right.
我的女孩。
My girl.
我现在确实喜欢收到礼物。
And I do like gifts now.
有一段时间，我不太看重礼物，因为那是我人生第一次有钱给自己买东西。
I think for a while there, I I didn't value gifts as much because of the first time in my life, actually had money to buy myself stuff.
但重要的不只是礼物本身。
But it's not just the gift.
关键是
It's the
重要的是心意。
thought It's the thought.
是有人特意为你花心思去买礼物，想着甚至注意到某样东西，心想：天啊。
Of someone else going to the effort to buying you the gift to thinking or even seeing something like, oh, god.
我觉得你会喜欢这个。
I thought you'd like this.
是的。
Yes.
我不喜欢花，但你给我买了那么多花。
I didn't like flowers, but then, like, you bought me so many flowers.
比如，我前几天回家的时候。
Like, I came home the other day.
我只是，我觉得那天过得挺糟的。
I was just I didn't I think I was having a shitty day.
对。
Yeah.
这些花是我最喜欢的FUNDAY糖果，我简直不敢相信。
And these flowers are my favorite FUNDAY lollies, and I'm like, oh my god.
我感觉被深深爱着。
I feel so loved.
真是太好了。
It's so nice.
你知道吗？
You know?
简短。
Short.
重要的是心意。
It's the thought.
当我想到你给我买东西，或者像这样的一些小细节时，这体现的是你的慷慨和体贴。
When I think of you getting me stuff or, like, little things like that, it's the generosity and it's the consideration.
你知道吗？
You know?
因为我感觉你在爱中很慷慨，而且在考虑如何让我感觉更好这方面也很周到，是的。
Because I feel like you're generous in your love and then your consideration in terms of how you want me to feel Yeah.
当我收到你送的礼物，或者你为我做这些小事时，我就是这么想的。
When I receive gifts from you or anything like that, when you've done little things like that for me, that's what I think.
是的。
Yeah.
你只是想让这一天稍微明亮一点，尤其是当它比较阴暗的时候。
You just wanna, like, make the day a little bit brighter, especially if it's a darker day.
当我经历那些事的时候，你确实也为我做过这些。
Literally, you've done that for me too when I was going through it.
我记得你曾在我门口放了小花和一个小查基，然后我……
I remember you put little flowers and a little Chuckie on my doorstep, and I
我是菠萝。
was pineapple.
还有那个菠萝。
And the pineapple.
没错。
That's right.
完全拿走了那个菠萝。
Totally took the pineapple.
那真是太棒了。
That was the best.
实际上那让我笑了好久。
It was actually made me laugh so much.
我只是，
I just,
比如，和这个菠萝拍了个该死的照片。
like, fucking taking photo with this pineapple.
第二天，她说，那个菠萝多汁得很。
The next day, she's like, that was a juicy pineapple.
那真是太棒了。
That was the best.
那真的是一个非常好的。
It was actually a really good one.
太好笑了。
So funny.
这是个不错的。
That's a good one.
还有孩子们，比如，我了解到在七岁之前，孩子需要全部五种。
And then kids as well, like, I'm learning kids need all five up until they're seven.
你不应该忽视其中任何一种。
You shouldn't neglect any of them.
但显然，七岁之后，你就会开始注意到他们的主要需求是什么。
But apparently, after seven, you'll start to notice what their main one is.
是的。
Right.
这说得通。
That makes sense.
展开剩余字幕（还有 480 条）
所以Taji确实需要全部五种，但现在他不再需要身体接触了。
So Taji definitely needed all of them, but now he's not his physical touch.
但他的小男孩以前更喜欢肢体接触，现在却不再需要言语了。
But his little boy, he was more touchy, and now he's not his words.
完全是通过言语和优质陪伴。
Like, through and through words and quality time.
是的。
Yeah.
好的。
Okay.
不错。
Cool.
他喜欢被赞美。
He loves praise.
而且，这也是另一件事。
And, also, that's another thing too.
所以，如果你是一个重视肯定语言的人，当别人给你积极的言语时，你会充满活力，但如果他们批评你，就会彻底摧毁你的灵魂。
So say if you're a words of affirmation person, you thrive when someone gives you positive words, but if they criticize you, it kills their fucking soul.
所以，如果你曾经批评过塔吉或给他反馈，是的。
So if ever criticize Taj or give him feedback Yeah.
我看到他一下子就垮了。
I just see him crush.
我明白那个时刻，比如。
I get the moment, for example.
这是个很好的例子。
It's a good example.
他想帮我剪辑YouTube视频。
He wants to edit my YouTube videos.
他鼓励我重新回到YouTube。
He's encouraged me to get back on YouTube.
他说：‘妈妈，我想帮你剪辑视频。’
He's like, I wanna edit them for you, mom.
这对我来说真的非常令人兴奋。
It's really exciting for me.
我想学习，他们可以一起做，这太有趣了。
I wanna learn, and they can do it together, and it's so fun.
他在这方面做得很好，但制作缩略图一直非常非常具有挑战性，因为他总是无法正确设置缩略图的尺寸。
He's And done a great job at it, but doing a thumbnail has been really, really challenging because he can't seem to get the thumbnail right and the sizing of it.
然后他尝试使用AI，结果把我们的脸弄得乱七八糟。
And then he tried to use AI, and it was making our faces look all disordered.
我给了他一些反馈。
And I gave him feedback.
他说，这可能得外包给平面设计师了，或者他做了一个，但我并不喜欢。
He's like, you know, this might be something I have to outsource to a graphic designer, or he made one and I just didn't love it.
我说，你看。
I said, look.
我很喜欢你做的这个。
I love how you've done this.
我用三明治式的方法来处理。
I sandwich approach it.
是的。
Mhmm.
但我不喜欢这个边框的处理方式。
But I just don't like how this border's on here.
你觉得我们能改一下吗？
Like, do you think we could change that?
他变得非常沮丧。
And he got really frustrated.
我已经尽力了。
I'm doing my best.
我是那个不好的儿子。
I'm the bad son.
哦，天哪。
Oh, no.
婴儿剪辑不适合我。
Baby editing's not cut out for me.
哦，塔吉。
Oh, Taji.
他也有自己的时刻。
And he had his moment.
我只是让他释放情绪，并且蹲到他身边，因为他坐在地上。
I just let him have his emotions, and I went down to his level because he's on the ground.
我说，这跟你的视频剪辑一点关系都没有。
I said, this has nothing to do with your video editing.
你把YouTube视频做得完美极了。
You've absolutely nailed the YouTube video.
那里我根本不用插手。
I haven't had to do a single thing there.
嗯。
Mhmm.
这是一个AI没有响应你提示的缩略图。
This is a thumbnail that AI is not responding to your prompts.
是的。
Yes.
而且有时它会扭曲人脸。
And sometimes it disorts the faces.
对。
Yeah.
这是你第一次制作缩略图。
And this is your first time ever doing a thumbnail.
我根本不知道怎么做缩略图。
I don't even know how to do a thumbnail.
对。
Yeah.
我们可以一起学习。
We can either learn together.
或者如果这个过程真的非常有压力，而你并不享受它，因为你更喜欢视频剪辑，我们可以找别人来做。
Or if it's really, really stressful and you're not enjoying this process because you enjoy the video editing, we can get someone else to do that.
是的。
Yeah.
但我当时只是看到，史蒂夫不得不拉住我，说，哦，又一个例子。
But I could just see and Steve had to pull me, oh, another example.
他现在正在帮我们洗车赚钱。
He's cleaning our cars for money at the moment.
是的。
Yeah.
我们第一次做得非常糟糕。
The first time we did a terrible job.
简直糟糕透顶。
Absolutely terrible.
马克把车留在这儿了。
Mark's left over the car.
我吸尘没吸干净。
I didn't vacuum properly.
史蒂夫说，这是第一次。
And Steve's like, this is the first time.
他每次都要进步。
He needs to get better each time.
所以第二次，做得好多了，但我只是说，哎，你能看到车座角落里的沙子吗？
So the second time, did a much better job, but I just said, like, oh, can you see just the sand in the corner of the car seats here?
你觉得你能再做一次吗？
Like, do you reckon you could do this again?
他开始哭了。
And he started to cry.
不行。
No.
事后我们聊了聊，史蒂夫，我觉得我们得特别注意他是怎么说的，一定要好好包装一下。
We spoke about it afterwards, Steve, I think we just need to be really mindful of how he word it and really sandwich it.
而且你会发现，你仍然可以给出反馈，但有些话真的会彻底击垮他。
And it's like you can still give feedback, but you can just tell words absolutely crush him.
是的。
Yeah.
但当你表扬他时，他整个人都会亮起来。
But then when you praise him, he's so lit up.
对。
Yeah.
罗萨塔拉，她什么都喜欢。
Rosatala, she just loves it all.
我一时想不出她更需要哪一种。
I couldn't pick one at the moment that she needs more of.
是的。
Yeah.
这太有趣了。
It's so interesting.
我真的很喜欢这个话题。
I really love this topic.
能够了解每个人喜欢什么、需要你如何表达爱意，真是太棒了。
It's just so cool to get to know what everyone likes and needs to feel loved by you.
是的。
Yeah.
哇。
Wow.
这太有趣了。
It's so interesting.
当我思考我的爱的语言时，感觉有点奇怪，因为我觉得在爱的语言方面，言语这一项我和塔吉有共鸣。
When I'm thinking of my love languages, it's it's kind of weird because I feel like when it comes to my love languages, words is I can relate to Taj on that one.
言语是
Words is
对我来说很重要的一点。
a big one for me.
是的。
Yes.
比如，我非常享受并热爱被赞美，你知道的，
Like, I thrive and, like, love the praise and, you know,
就像对。
like Yeah.
美好的话语。
Just beautiful words.
我爱这个。
I love that.
但当我想到我的父母以及这种倾向的来源时，我觉得我从未真正从我妈妈那里得到过这些。
But when I think about my parents and where that came from, it's like, think I'd never really got that from my mom.
所以这可能就是我有这种倾向的原因。
So it's probably why I have that.
但这很有趣，因为我从我爸爸那里得到了这些。
But it's interesting because I got that from my dad.
是的。
Yeah.
所以我特别渴望得到它。
So I'm like crave it off
你没从父母那里得到的那份。
the parent that you didn't get.
是的。
Yeah.
虽然我从我爸那里得到了，我也很珍惜他给我的，我很享受，但我确实没从我妈那里得到过。
Like, even though I got it from my dad and I I love that I receive it from him, I enjoy it, but then I also didn't have it from here.
她是个更注重实际行动的女人，是的。
She's more of a acts of service kind of woman Yes.
因为她希望别人能让她的生活更轻松。
Because she wants people to make her life easier.
她希望有人能为她这么做。
She wished somebody did that for her.
她是个五个孩子的妈妈。
She's a mom of She's a mom of five.
她是
She's a
她会全力以赴，甚至愿意把身上的衬衫脱下来给你。
will go above and she'll give you the shirt off her damn back.
她非常慷慨，愿意为你付出时间和精力，做很多事情。
Like, she is a very generous woman in terms of her time and how much she will do for you and all of the things.
但就言语而言，她表达爱的方式并不是这样的。
But in terms of her words, it's just like not it's not how she gives love.
是的。
Yep.
对。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
你有没有从她那里获得更多这样的沟通呢？
Have communicated you like more from her from that?
我不知道。
I don't know.
这是个好问题。
That's a good question.
我不这么认为。
I don't think so.
我觉得，多年来，和我妈妈之间一直很难真正得到我所需要的东西。
I think with my mom, there's been it's been it's been challenging over the years to kind of, like, get what I need from her.
是的。
Yeah.
所以我觉得，虽然她是最棒的妈妈，我爱她，她是个了不起的人，我们爱沙扎。
So I think, like, you know, while she's been the best mom, and I love her, and she's an incredible human being Love We love Shaza.
沙扎。
Shaza.
这些年来，我有些需求一直希望她能给予，但我感觉她可能没有那样的能力。
There's certain things that I've wanted from her over the years that I felt like she maybe didn't have the capacity to give me.
是的。
Yeah.
我儿子们也能感同身受。
Which my sons can relate to.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
超。
Chao.
是的。
Yeah.
因此，我觉得那正是我当初没有向她提出来的事情。
So with that, I think it was one of those things where I didn't bring to her.
我只是自己处理，然后告诉自己，好吧。
I just kind of dealt with on my own and just was like, okay.
这是我可以独自哀悼、给予自己，然后以她的方式接受她爱的事情。
This is something I can grieve on my own, give to myself, and then receive love from her in the way that she gives it.
是的。
Yes.
我只是在她能接纳我的地方与她相遇，是的。
Like, I just met her where she could meet me Yep.
而不是要求她来满足我，是的。
Instead of requiring her to meet me Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
那是她有能力做到的，如果这样说能理解的话。
That she had the capacity to, if that makes sense.
我认为在你的关系中，明确这一点真的很重要，我知道我在另一集中提到过，但如果你错过了，我再讲一遍。
I think it's really important in your relationships too to be super clear on exactly how that looks, which I know I mentioned this on another episode, but if you missed it, I'll just go over it again.
当我问史蒂夫，他目前的爱的语言是什么时，我想要一些具体的例子，看看哪些方式让他感到被爱。
When I asked Steve, which is his love language at the moment, or I want actual examples of what feels good for him.
所以，如果他的爱的语言是言语，那是不是意味着我给他留的小纸条？
So say if it is words I said to him, is that leaving little love notes?
是不是通过短信？
Is that through text messages?
是不是当面表达？
Is that face to face?
是不是通过爱的便条？
Is it through love notes?
是不是通过卡片？
Is it through cards?
到底具体是哪种方式呢？
Like, what exactly is it?
还是说以上所有方式都是？
Or is it all of them?
你都喜欢。
You love all of it.
他却说，我其实需要时间和空间。
And he's like, oh, I actually need time and space.
好好想想，这样我才能清楚地知道什么对我有帮助。
Like, think about this so I can get really clear on what would feel good for me.
你得再深入一点挖掘一下。
So you've gotta you've gotta really dig a bit deeper.
是的。
Yeah.
你知道吗，你这么一说，我突然开始思考了。
You know, it's funny you say that because now I'm thinking about it.
我觉得，这简直是我现在可以和我妈妈聊的话题。
I'm like, oh, this is so a conversation I reckon I could have with my mom now.
我也这么觉得。
Think so too.
是的。
Yeah.
我在想，也许我会把这一点带给她。
I'm like, maybe I'll bring that into her.
最近我和史蒂夫也一样，因为对我来说，言语很重要。
And I've had it with Steve lately too because words is up there for me.
嗯。
Mhmm.
我知道史蒂夫为我感到骄傲。
And I know Steve's so proud of me.
我知道。
I know it.
但他不是一个爱说很多话的人。
But he's not a wordy person.
是的。
Yeah.
他就是那种不会发一大段文字来表达他有多骄傲的人。
He's just, like, not the man that sends a novel long text of how proud he is.
他只会说，‘宝贝，我为你感到骄傲’，然后加几个亲亲。
He'll say, like, I'm so proud, babe, put a couple of kisses.
但最近我一直跟他说，我想要更多。
But I've been saying to him lately, like, I would like more.
是的。
Yeah.
我在做《老友记》里瑞秋的手势。
I'm doing the Rachel signal sign language.
请再多一点。
More please.
再多一点。
More.
再多一点。
More.
我们想要更多。
We want more.
我和蒂安娜总是开玩笑说，我们想要更多的爱。
Me and Tiana always joke around, like, we want more love.
更多的关注。
More attention.
更多的关注。
More attention.
更多的认可。
More validation.
更多的肯定话语。
More words of affirmation.
更多的甜食。
More sweets.
更多的棍子。
More stick.
更多大的。
More huge.
更多牛排。
More steak.
开玩笑的。
Just kidding.
更多假期。
More holidays.
我们实际上已经有不少了
We actually have a good amount
即将到来。
of those coming up.
但是啊。
But yeah.
所以我一直给他举例子，比如好的。
So I've been giving him examples of, like okay.
这变得太坦诚了，但我最近开始上舞蹈课了。
This is getting super vulnerable, but I've started these dance classes.
是的。
Yeah.
对我来说，去报名单独的舞蹈课，花了我好几年才鼓起勇气。
And for me to go and book a solo dance class, it has taken me years to get the courage to do this.
我小时候跳舞是我的救赎。
Dancing for me growing up was my savior.
它真的救了我的命。
It honestly saved my life.
那是我每天最期待的事情。
It was just what I looked forward to every day.
那是我擅长的事情，我因此得到了很多赞扬，我也很喜欢。
It was something I was really good at, something I got a lot of praise in, something I enjoyed.
我与自己的身体建立了联系。
I was connected to my body.
我只是太爱它了。
I just I loved it so much.
我靠它活着。
I lived for it.
如果没有舞蹈，我真的不知道自己是怎么度过童年和青春期的。
And without dance, like, I just don't know how I have got through my childhood or my teenage years.
而现在，已经二十年了，我整整二十年没跳过舞了。
And now it's been twenty years, and I haven't danced for twenty years.
所以过去几年，我一直想回去上一堂课。
So the last couple of years, I've been wanting to go back to a class.
但以前在青春期上课时，我讨厌那些在后面拖慢我的妈妈们。
But I used to think when I was in a class, as I was in my teenage years, the old moms at the back slowing me down, I used to hate it.
我会想，唉，为什么这些妈妈们会在课堂上？
I'd be like, oh, why are these moms in the class?
快回去陪你们的孩子吧。
Like, go back to your kids.
我其实这么想？
I actually think that?
是的。
Yeah.
所以这让我没能去上课。
So it stopped me going to a class.
我想，我不愿意成为那个在后面跟不上节奏的老妈妈，而年轻女孩们还想继续跳下去。
I'm like, I don't wanna be that old mom in the back that can't get the routine, and I the young girls are wanting to keep going.
是的。
Yeah.
这很合理。
And it's valid.
是的。
Yeah.
拖慢了整个课堂的进度。
Be slowing the class down.
所以我终于预约了一节舞蹈课，而且我非常喜欢。
So I finally booked a dance class, and I'm absolutely loving it.
我记得有一天他刷到了我的视频，说：‘哦，我的舞蹈视频被置顶了。’
And I remember he swiped up one day, and he was like, oh, my dance are put up.
他还说：‘太棒了，宝贝。’
And he was like, so good, babe.
我当时就想：就这？
I was like, that's it.
我记得一周后，我问他：‘你为我感到骄傲吗？’
And I remember, like, a week later, I was like, are you proud of me?
你难道不为我感到骄傲吗？
Like, are you not are you not proud of me?
这需要很大的勇气。
That took a lot of courage.
他却说：‘哦，你不是一直去跳高跟舞课吗？’
He's like, oh, but you go to heels dance class all the time.
这不就是一样的事吗？
Like, is it not the same thing?
我当时就想，完全不是一回事。
I was like, absolutely not.
差别太大了。
It's so different.
我做这件事并不是为了得到他的认可，但能听到亲近的人用言语表达他们为我骄傲，真的非常美好。
And I'm not doing it to get his validation, but it also is really, really nice to have, like, your close ones express through words of affirmations that they're proud
你。
of you.
是的。
Yeah.
这只是一个例子，说明我希望他能更多地这样对我。
And that was just an example of, like, how I would like more of him.
这对他来说是一种需要培养的本事，因为他平时并不习惯这样表达。
That's a muscle that he's, like, learning to flex because it's not very natural for him to talk like that.
是的。
Yeah.
他成长在一个没有爱、没有肯定性语言的家庭。
He grew up in a house where there was no love, no words of affirmations.
比如，他会谈论情绪吗？
Like, did he talk about emotions?
不会。
No.
那里根本没有。
It wasn't there.
所以并不是他不擅长，而是我现在的人生阶段，我渴望拥有更多这样的东西。
So it's not that he's bad at it, but now where I'm at in my life right now, I'm like, this is what I desire to have more of.
你能跟我在这方面同步吗？
Like, can can you meet me there?
他则说，当然可以。
And he's like, absolutely.
我本来打算练习的。
I was gonna practice.
不。
No.
所以最近几次跳舞时，他都说：‘操。’
So the last couple of dances, he's like, fuck.
你太棒了。
You're so good.
你这么肆意舞动身体，我根本做不到。
The way you're throwing your body around, I could never do that.
太棒了。
Like So good.
你能看到它在扩展。
You can see it's expanding.
你知道的？
You know?
祝福。
Bless.
懂吗？
Know?
是的。
Yeah.
哦，对。
Oh, yeah.
真的很棒。
It was really nice.
那份努力，还有他听出了其中的意味。
The effort and, like, that he heard you in that.
他听到了我。
He heard me.
他正在做那件事。
He's doing that.
这真的很美。
That's really beautiful.
听到你如今如此重视言语，对我来说甚至也很酷。
It's even cool for me to hear, like, how much words mean to you now.
我觉得我们彼此之间都挺能说的，但这让我想：啊，我要点那个。
I feel like we are pretty wordy with each other, but that makes me go, ah, I'm gonna click that.
就像是，是的。
And it's like Yeah.
不是数据，而是整整一百份爱。
Not data, but, like 100 loves that.
酷。
Cool.
你也很擅长用言语表达，比如生日贺卡之类的东西。
And you are really good with your words too with, like, birthday cards and stuff like that.
你投入了很多心思。
Like, you put a lot of effort in.
所以这种事情是个好迹象。
So it's a good sign of that stuff like that.
你很喜欢
You love
这种事情。
stuff like that.
对我而言也很有好处。
And it's been good for me too.
我刚才也在做同样的事情。
I was literally doing the same thing here.
我心想，嗯。
I'm like, mhmm.
把这个放进去。
Put that in there.
是的。
Yeah.
让她生活更轻松。
Make her life easier.
是的。
Yep.
太好了。
So good.
这真有趣，不是吗？
That's so funny, isn't it?
这是一种非常棒的方式，可以学习如何深化你的人际关系。
It's such a cool way to learn how to deepen your connections.
归根结底，我总是希望身边的人知道他们有多被爱、有多特别。
And at the end of the day, I always want the people around me to know how loved and special they are.
所以如果我能找出一些具体的方法来做到这一点，那就干吧。
So if I can, like, pinpoint specific ways to do that, fuck it.
我赢下了这一生。
I'm winning a life.
是的。
Yeah.
让身边的人感觉良好。
Make the people around me feel good.
这其实是一场非常棒的对话。
This is such a cool conversation, actually.
因为当你能认真倾听时，就能发现很多东西。
It is because when you can listen, like, can discover so much.
即使你和女朋友、朋友或家人进行这样的对话，只是坐下来听他们说什么，嗯。
Even if you have this conversation with your girlfriends or friends or family members and, like, just sit and listen to what they're saying Mhmm.
并问他们是如何表达爱的，或者
And ask them the way that they give love or
是的。
Yeah.
类似这样的事情。
Things like that.
你会找到一些你可以做的小事情。
You're gonna find little pockets of things that you can do too.
比如，我妹妹香奈尔，我和她住在一起。
Like, my sister, Chantelle, I live with her.
她总是说，我不确定是送礼物还是实际行动，但她特别注重实际行动，我觉得可能是后者。
And she's like, I don't know if it's, like, gifts or acts of service, but, like, she's very big on, like I think it's maybe acts of service.
我也这么觉得，因为她身边没多少人会为她做事。
I think so too because she doesn't have many people doing things for her.
没错。
No.
但表现形式是食物、零食之类的。
But it's in the form of, like, food and snacks and stuff.
比如，如果我早上给她带杯咖啡，她会开心得不得了，而她根本不会主动要求。
Like, she will be the happiest woman alive if I bring her a coffee in the morning, and I she doesn't have ask for
会发帖提到这件事吗。
does post about that.
她确实会。
She does.
她太温柔了。
She's so sweet.
她实际上下周要喝香奈儿咖啡。
She's actually like Chantella coffee next week.
是的。
Yeah.
真的，她会说，你想到我了？
Literally, it's like her she's like, you thought of me?
谢谢你。
Thank you.
你每次给她买咖啡，都要发帖纪念。
Post about that all the time when you buy her a coffee.
她超喜欢。
She loves it.
所以我才这么做，因为我知道她很喜欢。
That's why I do it because I know she loves it.
这是她早晨的专属时光，她总是说，哦，这完全是属于我的时间。
It's her thing in the morning where she's like, oh, this is just me time.
你知道的，她也有孩子，所以她会觉得，这是属于我的时间。
You know, obviously, she's got children as well, so she's like, this is my me time.
我的情绪很敏感。
Is my emotional.
她有
She has
我的生理期。
my period.
这太暖心了。
That's so sweet.
真可爱。
Cute.
但确实是这样。
But yeah.
你知道的。
You know?
或者如果她心情不好什么的，我会给她买她最爱的巧克力，然后
Or if she's, like, having a bad day or whatever, I'll buy her, like, a favorite chocolate and
是的。
Yeah.
你知道的，放下来，她就会说
You know, put it down, and she'd just be like
哦，她还开了自己的生意。
Oh, and she she she launched her business.
她给她买了花
She bought her flowers
让我感动得不行。
and Make me emotional back.
我想哭就哭，管他呢。
And I want my crying with the fuck.
你来月经了啊。
Well, you've got your period.
我是果汁。
I'm Juice.
别闹了。
Stop it.
天哪。
Gotta god.
但这也太奇怪了。
But that's too weird.
我知道。
I know.
对吧？
Right?
我真的很爱她。
I do love her so much.
但没错，我记得她推出运动服饰品牌时，你给她送了花，我就记得她发的那张自拍。
But, yeah, I remember when she launched her activewear business and you bought her flowers, and, like, I just remember the selfie that she posted with it.
她看起来光彩照人。
She just looked so lit up.
我能感觉到她感到被深爱着。
I could tell she felt so loved.
是的。
Yeah.
这真是太美好了。
And it's so nice.
你知道吗？
You know?
她真的很美。
She's so beautiful.
她简直是三个年幼孩子的单亲妈妈，忙得不可开交。
She's literally a single mom to three young children, and it's working her butt off.
而知道她被看见了，这对她来说意义重大。
And to know that she's, like, seen, you know, it it just would mean the world to her.
是的。
Yeah.
天啊。
So Oh my god.
我都快哭了。
I'm, like, crying.
我知道。
I know.
不。
No.
确实如此。
It is.
这太美了。
It's so beautiful.
我为她感到无比自豪。
I'm so proud of her.
她是一个了不起的人。
She's such an incredible human.
她经历了太多，不得不独自抚养三个年龄都在六岁以下的孩子。
She's been through a lot, like, having to navigate single parent single being a single parent of three children all under the age of six.
这非常辛苦，但她是一位超级妈妈，在所做的一切中都展现了超人的力量。
It's very full on, but she's a super mama and super human in what she does.
向单亲妈妈们致敬。
Hats off to single moms.
我跟你说。
Tell you what.
是的。
Yeah.
向单亲妈妈们致敬。
Hats off to single mummies.
我们为你感到骄傲。
We're proud of you.
为你轻松的工作感到非常骄傲。
Very proud of easy job.
不。
No.
是的。
Yeah.
回到爱的语言。
Back to love languages.
回到爱的语言。
Back to love languages.
我的爱的语言这些年也发生了变化。
Love languages so my love languages have changed also over the years.
你这么说的时候，我简直惊呆了。
When you said that, was like, oh my gosh.
这太真实了，因为以前我记得肯定的话语在我的上一段关系中特别重要。
That's so true because previously, I remember words of affirmation being really strong in like my past past relationship.
那段关系结束后，我就想，你知道吗？
And then after that, was like, oh, you know what?
话语就没那么重要了。
Word's not so much.
我想要的是实际行动。
I want acts of service.
我想要的是那种不怎么说、但会默默行动的人，这挺有意思的，因为以前这对我来说一直是非常重要的。
I want like someone who's just gonna do and not actually say, which is interesting because it was always such a strong one for me.
即使现在，我也发现自己依然喜欢言语表达，但最近我发觉实际行动对我的触动似乎更大？
Even now, I'm noticing I love the words, but then I'm like, do acts of service hit a little bit more for me lately?
哦，真有意思。
Oh, interesting.
是的
Yeah.
不
No.
身体接触对我来说一直都很重要。
That physical touch is always a big one for me.
我是个典型的浪漫型女孩。
I'm such a, like, a lover girl.
对我来说，身体接触就是一种连接。
Like, physical touch for me is connection to me.
是的
Yeah.
所以当我感受到时，我会觉得，哦，我被爱着，或者
So when I get that, I'm like, oh, I feel loved or
是的
Yes.
你知道吗，我感觉很亲近，
You know, I feel close and
我喜欢这样。
I love that.
当你爸爸给你车加油的时候。
When your dad puts petrol in your car.
真贴心。
Oh, so sweet.
这是一种服务行为。
That's an act of service.
是的。
Yeah.
这很有趣，因为在我成长的过程中，我父母是非常注重服务行动的人。
Which is interesting though because when I grew up, like, my parents are very acts of service kind of people.
对。
Yes.
他们俩都是。
Both of they are.
都是，没错。
Both of Yeah.
确实如此。
Very true.
但当他们总是用行动表达爱时，我却只想要陪伴和言语
But then when they were acts of service people, I just wanted quality time and words
的肯定。
of affirmation.
先从其他的开始吧。
Just start with the other ones.
是的。
Yeah.
但现在我觉得我已经足够拥有这些了。
But now I feel like I've got a sufficient amount of that.
我有点在不断切换。
I kind of am like, I'm chopping and changing.
所以你现在觉得身体接触和言语是你的爱的语言吗？
So you'd say physical touch and words right now are your love languages?
高质量的陪伴。
Quality time.
我的意思是，你其实都喜欢。
I mean, you like all of them.
但所有的都喜欢。
But All of them.
你会选前两名吗？
Do you pick a top two?
或者你会
Or you'd
哦，这很难。
Oh, that's hard.
这确实挺棘手的，对吧？
It is it is tricky, isn't it?
那三个呢？
What about three?
说吧。
Go for it.
哦，对我而言，高质量的陪伴 definitely 是其中之一。
Oh, that quality time is definitely up there for me.
高质量的陪伴、肯定的语言，还有服务的行动。
Quality time, words of affirmation, and acts of service.
是的。
Yeah.
其他的还有哪些
What are the other
两个？
two?
身体接触？
Physical touch?
是的。
Yes.
全部都是。
All of them.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
很难选择，不是吗
It is hard to pick, isn't
？
it?
我认为在亲密关系中，身体接触对我来说最重要。
I think physical touch for me in intimate relationships.
是的。
Yes.
对不同的人，它们可能不同。
They can be different for different people.
是的。
Yes.
完全正确。
Totally.
而另外三个，是父亲的领域。
Whereas the other three, father areas.
是的。
Yeah.
你
You
知道吗？
know?
我和史蒂夫喜欢身体接触，但确实如此。
I like physical touch with Steve, but Yeah.
女朋友更看重高质量的陪伴。
Say girlfriends would be more quality time.
是的。
Yes.
百分之百。
100%.
没错。
Yep.
所以，这其实也因人而异。
So it, like, depends on the person too.
是的。
Yeah.
很有趣。
Interesting.
变化。
Changes.
所以有一本书你可以读，还有一项在线测试你可以做。
So there's a book that you can read, and there's also a test that you can do online.
嗯哼。
Mhmm.
但不管测试结果如何，希望听了这段对话后，你能很快明白。
But also regardless of the test, like, hopefully, just hearing this conversation, you'll know pretty quickly.
是的。
Yeah.
和你的伴侣进行一次对话。
And have the conversation with your partner.
即使他们说，哦，就像我和史蒂夫那样，言语的肯定，对你来说感觉如何？
And even if they say, oh, like like I did with Steve, like, words of affirmations, how does that feel for you?
是通过短信吗？
Is it through text?
是通过笔记吗？
Is it through notes?
比如，多要一些例子。
Like, ask for more examples.
要具体一点。
Get specific.
是的。
Yeah.
有点像捷径。
A bit of a cheat code.
因为一旦史蒂夫意识到他今天就在这么做。
Because once Steve get he's doing it today, actually.
我喜欢这一点。
I love that.
是的。
Yeah.
让他把所有内容都写给我。
Ask him to write it all out for me.
一旦你有了清晰的方向，就可以加入你自己的创意元素。
Once you've got clarity, then you get to put your own creative spin on it.
这对我来说很有趣。
And that's fun to me.
就像找到有创意的方式，让我的亲人感受到更多的爱。
It's like finding creative ways to make my loved ones feel more loved.
这难道不是很有趣吗？
Like, how fun is that?
是的。
Yeah.
很有趣。
Interesting.
太酷了。
So cool.
这很有趣。
That's good fun.
另一个例子，比如，为某人的生日大张旗鼓地庆祝一下。
Another example for me, like, make a big deal about someone's birthday.
是的。
Yeah.
猜猜我最喜欢什么？
Guess what I love?
我喜欢别人为我隆重地庆祝生日。
I love when someone makes a deal about my birthday.
哦，你喜欢惊喜。
Oh, you love surprises.
是的。
Yeah.
我只是觉得，有很多次生日，我都被人忘记了，或者没能办派对什么的。
And I just think there's been so many birthdays where I've been, like, forgotten or didn't get to have a party or whatever.
是的。
Yeah.
所以我只是不希望任何人有这种感觉，而且并不是每个人都喜欢这样。
So I just never wanted anyone feeling like and not everyone likes that.
所以我也得小心，因为并不是每个人都喜欢为生日搞盛大的派对。
So that's the I've gotta be careful of as well because not everyone loves big shing dig for their birthday.
他们不喜欢所有的关注。
They don't like all the attention.
因为更多的关注。
Do because more attention.
对。
Yes.
我喜欢这样。
I love it.
给我拍照。
Take my photo.
更好。
The better.
我去过巴厘岛。
I had like Bali.
我今年过了五次生日。
I had, like, five birthdays this year.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
真的。
Literally.
我们上幼儿园。
We Pre k.
说实话，我们紧紧抓住了这股潮流。
Really honestly, we rode that wave hard.
我们确实做到了，而且那是最棒的。
We did, and it was the best.
但是，是的，注意你朋友的做法，因为你会学到很多。
But, yeah, take note of what your friends do because you'll learn a lot.
是的，宝贝。
Yes, buddy.
我爱你。
I love you.
我 literally 在想，这件事跨越了两个月。
I'm literally thinking it crossed over two months.
真的有两个月吗？
It really was it two months?
是的。
Yeah.
我觉得至少持续了五周。
I think it was going on, like, five weeks at least.
是的。
Yeah.
那时候发生了不少事情。
It was quite a few things both then.
我们过得很愉快。
We had a great time.
我们过得很愉快。
We had a great time.
这就是你要做的。
That's how you do it.
对。
Yep.
为什么不呢？
Why not?
生活应该被庆祝。
Life should be celebrated.
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