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好吧。
Alright.
咱们先来做一件现在网上根本没人干的事，但在我刚入行那会儿，这可是风靡一时的。
Let's first do the thing that, man, we just don't do on the Internet anymore, but I feel like was all the rage when I started in this in this business.
在这个行业里。
In this industry.
天哪。
Oh, god.
你这是被八卦毒害了。
You've got gossip poisoning.
快点。
Quick.
你来引导一下。
Lead him.
致敬那位勇敢的记者马特·布朗，就是那个《Extra》的马特·布朗，不是搞体育的马特·布朗——两位都是优秀的马特·布朗，但咱们得说清楚，这里指的是哪一个。
Credit to intrepid reporter Matt Brown of the extra Matt Brown the extra points Matt Brown, not Brown the athletic Matt Brown, both excellent Matts Brown, but to be clear which Matt Brown we're talking about.
而且两人都很擅长运动，但级别较低
And they are both athletic, but lower
没错。
Yes.
对。
Right.
不是那位综合格斗选手马特·布朗。
Not Matt Brown, the MMA fighter.
不是综合格斗选手马特·布朗。
Not Matt Brown, the MMA Yeah.
选手
Fighter
那是真的。
That's real.
听好了。
Listen.
Extra Points 里的马特·布朗。
Matt Matt Brown of Extra Points.
马特·布朗有两个女儿。
Matt Brown has two daughters.
要是真在十月的八角笼里打一场，我可不押他输。
I would not bet against him in an October octagon situation.
咱们看看。
Let's see.
马特·布朗的消歧义页面。
Matt Brown disambiguation page.
而且他是巴西人。
And he is Brazilian.
尤其是要是真打起来的话。
Especially if it was was gonna yeah.
他身上有那种柔术的底子，你知道的。
He's got he's got, like, you know, there's there's the jujitsu element there.
是的。
Yeah.
但如果是在情感上的擂台，尤其是考虑到他有两个青春期的女儿。
But if it were an emotional octagon, especially, like, the man has tween daughters.
维基百科上还有17个叫马特·布朗的人，另外还有两个姓马特·布朗但名字拼写带e的。
There are 17 Matt Browns on Wikipedia as well as additionally two Matt Browns with an e at the
结尾。
end.
而我们最熟悉的就是其中两个。
And we know the two best ones.
对。
Yeah.
这概率有多大？
What are the odds?
你看
Look at
就是这个。
that.
天哪。
Dang.
说到红椒了。
So speaking of pimentos.
好吧。
Okay.
所以这件事是这么来的，因为你。
So so this came about because You.
嗯，没错。
Well, yeah.
我确实猜到了，得克萨斯A&M大学的警察账号发了这条，我觉得那是在佛罗里达A&M比赛开始前后，大概是比赛初期，那个比赛叫station。
I did guess The I get Texas A and M police account posted I think this was during or maybe just before the start of the I think this is early, at least, in the Florida A and M game, which is playing called station.
接下来。
The following.
公共场合醉酒，阿吉公园。
Public intoxication, Aggie Park.
发现当事人一边吃三明治，一边喝着一瓶威士忌。
Contacted subject eating a sandwich with a water jug of whiskey.
我得说，那时候那瓶子早就不是水壶了。
I'll point out, it's not a water jug anymore at that point.
对。
No.
那是威士忌瓶。
That's a whiskey jug.
是的。
Yeah.
这倒是个哲学问题。
That's a philosophical debate.
对。
Yeah.
这些年下来，情况有点像一艘漂泊的船吧。
It's a little bit of a ship of these years, I suppose.
血液酒精浓度是0.337，我记得等等。
BAC was point three three seven, which I believe hold on.
我先快速查个东西。
I'm gonna check something real quick here.
到那时候，人就跟尸体没两样了。
A corpse at that point.
你的状态简直就是
Like, you're
还没死，但已经可以准备防腐了。
not dead, but you could be embalmed.
要是这算打击率，那绝对是大联盟历史第一。
This would lead all bat If this were a batting average, it would be the number one in Major League Baseball.
这个血液酒精浓度高得离谱，简直
That BAC is so high it appears
然后他们狠狠地赢了佛罗里达，确实赢了。
and then hashtag beat the hell out of Florida, which they did win.
那谁能说得准呢？
So who's to say?
不过我当时只关心三明治的细节。
I was focused, though, on the sandwich details.
我的意思是，既然我们都聊到威士忌水壶的量、这个人血液里的酒精浓度了，结果就只提了一句‘是个三明治’？这太敷衍了。
Like, I found it unsatisfying that that if if we're we're gonna gonna get the details of a water jug of whiskey and we know what this person's BAC was, that it was just a sandwich.
所以我直接说了，没做任何调查，我就想了解三明治的具体情况。
So I said, without doing any work, that I wanted sandwich details.
我们一直在说的马特·布朗随后补充了以下信息。
The Matt Brown we've been talking about followed up and gave the following information.
突发新闻。
Breaking news.
这事发生在10月13日，星期一下午。
This is this was on October 13 on Monday afternoon.
德克萨斯A&M大学警察局确认，这三明治正是所谓的红辣椒奶酪三明治。
The Texas A and M Police Department confirms the extra point that the sandwich in question was, quote, a pimento cheese sandwich.
首先，感谢德克萨斯A&M的描述团队和他们的执法社交媒体小组，你们还记得吧，就是他们之前给我们带来了第三百三十六条的欢乐。
First of all, thank you to the Texas A and M descriptor force in your law enforcement social media team because this is, if you recall, the team that brought us the joy of section three three six.
对的。
Mhmm.
去年的事。
Last year.
对的。
Mhmm.
我们在这档播客里，对德克萨斯执法部门并不陌生。
We are we are not ourselves unfamiliar with Texas law enforcement on this podcast.
你可能还记得那个‘杆子猴子’。
You may recall the pole monkey.
杆子杀手。
Pole assassin.
谢谢。
Thank you.
谢谢。
Thank you.
那件警察和猴子的事件，应该是前一年发生的。
The the polis assassin v pet monkey incident of, I think, the year before that.
我一开始的感觉是松了一口气，瑞安。
The emotion that I felt initially was relief, Ryan.
永远都是红辣椒奶酪三明治。
Always pimento cheese.
是的。
Yeah.
要说三明治，我觉得这个跟奶油花生酱一样，都是最不容易噎着的。
Because as as sandwiches go, I I think this is up there with, like, you know, creamy peanut butter as the least choking hazard.
当然。
Sure.
说到三明治的话。
As sandwiches go.
而且万一需要吐出来，也最容易吐出来。
And the easiest to eject, if necessary.
我确实想过这一点。
Thought about that.
怎么说呢，根据面包的不同，它几乎瞬间就能被嚼成一种营养糊状物。
Like, it is it is almost instantly I guess, depending on the bread, it's it's almost instantly milled down into a nutritious paste.
所以啊，来得容易，去得也快。
So, like, easy come, easy go.
你 basically 就能像用彩泥挤压机那样，把它重新挤出来。
You're basically you can extrude it back up like a Play Doh spaghetti maker.
但我想象的是，喝得那么醉，还想去吃一个肉丸三明治会是什么情景。
But, like, I was I guess what I was imagining is imagine being that drunk and trying to take down, like, a meatball sub.
这让我意识到，一开始我还以为，希望这是一半的烤鸡，骨头还带着，夹在蒜香面包里，那种最像三明治的三明治。
Well, what it made me realize because initially, I was like, I hope this was half a rotisserie chicken, bones still in it, on a piece of on a loaf of garlic bread, like the most sandwichiest sandwich you've ever seen.
所以你不只是想了解水壶的定义，还想深入探索三明治这个领域。
So you wanna explore not just the definitions of water jug, but also you want ex you wanna hold space for exploration of of the space of sandwich.
如果赛百味是三明治艺术家的舞台，那我希望这里能成为真正的毕加索。
Well, if Subway is a place for sandwich artists, I want this to be, like, the absolute Pablo Picasso.
我心目中的三明治《格尔尼卡》应该是这样的。
The Guernica of sandwiches was what I
这正是我期待的。
was hoping.
就像一个壮汉在对付一个三英尺高的达格伍德卡通三明治。
This a hammered Aggie taking down a three foot tall dagwood cartoon sandwich.
百分百没错。
A 100%.
百分百没错。
A 100%.
但一听到‘红椒’，我就意识到自己想岔了。
But I once it said pimento, I realized the error of my thought.
我觉得喝醉后的三明治应该是个正态分布。
I think drunken sandwich must be a bell curve.
在刚有点醉的时候，你反而有空间想：嘿，老兄。
And in the middle, when you're just pretty drunk, that's when you have the space to be like, hey, man.
什么东西都能当三明治。
Anything can be a sandwich.
哇哦。
Woah.
去拿一整盒冰淇淋来。
Go get go go get a a whole tub of ice cream.
咱们就把它放上去吧。
We're gonna put it on yeah.
随便吧。
Whatever.
一旦你超过那个底线，你的三明治标准就变成橙色的糊糊了。
So once once you pass the Mendoza line, your sandwich standard is like, orange goo.
是的。
Yes.
对。
Yes.
我觉得是因为附近有什么就拿什么。
I think it's what was close by.
因为还有另一件事让我挺困惑的。
Because this is the other thing that's troubling me.
我从来没把德克萨斯州，特别是大学城，跟皮门特奶酪联系在一起。
I don't think of Texas and specifically College Station as Pimento cheese territory.
我是佛罗里达人，可能对这事儿一窍不通。
Now I'm the Floridian here, so I might not know shit about it.
不过我也自己做过一点调查，马特·布朗。
But I also did a little I did a little journalism myself, Matt Brown.
我上谷歌搜了下，大学城最好的皮门特奶酪是哪家。
I I went to Google, and I said best pimento cheese in College Station.
我看到的Yelp评价，基本上就是：没错。
And the Yelp reviews I got, it's basically like, yeah.
有一道鸡肉沙拉。
There's a chicken salad.
你看看这儿。
Check here.
就这些了。
That's it.
在大学城这儿，我根本找不到哪家店会说：哦，对，就是这儿。
There's it's not like there's a place that I can find in college stations like, oh, yeah.
这才是买三明治的地方。
Here's where you get the sandwich.
好吧。
Alright.
霍莉正在搓着手。
Holly's rubbing her hands.
把我拉进去。
Tag me the fuck in.
好的。
Okay.
霍莉，你来说。
Holly, go.
好的。
Okay.
你可以把这三个最大的地方看作美国青年联盟里的三大主力，就像一张热力图一样。
So the three biggest you wanna you wanna think of them as the majors of junior leagues in America, which you can view as on a heat map.
这就好比是共和党全国大会上的核心热点，专门讲皮门特奶酪的制作和消费。
Like, this is the grinder at the Republican National Convention of heat maps as far as pimento cheese creation and consumption.
对。
Mhmm.
美国三大青年联盟之一，最初在纽约成立，后来我们在这儿把它做得更好了，亚特兰大就是其中之一。
The big three junior leagues of America, an organization that started in New York, which we just made better down here, are Atlanta is one of them, obviously.
给108区的姐妹们打个招呼。
Shout out to my ladies in 108.
休斯顿和达拉斯是另外两个。
Houston and Dallas are the other two.
瑞安，你想知道学院站具体在哪儿吗？
Ryan, would you like to know where College Station is geographically situated?
我知道。
I am.
太好了，你正好提到这个。
I am so glad you brought this up.
它不在沃斯堡和休斯顿的正中间，但离得挺近。
It is it is not the is not the midpoint between Fort Worth and Houston, but it's pretty close.
如果我们画个三角形，它的中心点会在哪儿？
As What would the center of that triangle be on a map if we were
哦，你也在孟菲斯做过这个？
actually Oh, you made that also in Memphis?
哦。
Oh.
那太棒了，他们在那里建了什么？
That's a great And what did they build there?
一座金字塔，用来汇聚能量。
A pyramid channeling the energies.
对。
Mhmm.
看到了吧？
See?
看到了吧？
See?
好的。
Okay.
我猜那一定
I bet it's
我知道一件事。
I'm You know what?
说来奇怪，我觉得我们可能会再往南一点。
Weirdly enough, I think we're gonna be a little bit
可能是密西西比州？
Mississippi, maybe?
对。
Yeah.
我们可能会再往南一点。
It's gonna be a We're bit we're gonna
再往南一些。
be a little bit farther further south.
我觉得你可以这么说，
You could make I would say
也许是新奥尔良。
Maybe it's New Orleans.
它在杰克逊以北一点。
It's a little north of Jackson.
明白了。
Okay.
老兄，皮恩布夫和牛津这两个地方都很有道理。
Dude, the closest Pine Bluff and Oxford both have strong cases here.
对吧？
Okay?
我就大概瞄了一眼。
Just just eyeballing this.
伯明翰呢，就像你重新建一座金字塔一样。
Birmingham is kind of like if you were building a pyramid again.
要是你打算搞个类似迷你版约柜那样的东西，你肯定想把拉神的权杖放在伯明翰附近。
You know, if you were building some sort of, like, junior league arc of the covenant situation, you would wanna place your staff of Ra somewhere around Birmingham.
说不定伏尔甘就是干这个的。
Maybe that's what Vulcan is for.
拿着宝石来聚焦能量。
Holding the jewel to focus it.
不过话说回来，从传统意义上讲，这里并不属于皮门托奶酪带，因为虽然德克萨斯地理位置上在南方，但大家一般不把它算作深南地区。
But anyway, in terms of like, it is not what you might typically consider as being in the Pimento Cheese Belt because we don't think of Texas as being in the Deep South despite its geography.
就像佛罗里达一样，它更像是一个独立的国家。
Like Florida, it is its own discrete nation state.
但要说哪里能吃到正宗的皮门托奶酪，你随便在那两个城市里随便问个人，都能碰到一个有独家秘方的厨师。
But in in terms of where you might find good pimento cheese, yeah, ask ask any swing a dead cat in either one of those cities, and you will hit a caterer with their own secret, very specific recipe.
所以我觉得这并不算
So I don't find this to be out
突兀。
of place.
把这放这儿，布莱恩。
So put this, Brian.
对。
Yeah.
要理解德克萨斯州在南方饮食中的位置，可以这么看：
A general way of understanding Texas vis a vis the South food wise is this.
只要是南方菜，德克萨斯都能接纳。
If it is a southern food, it is Texas compatible.
但如果是德克萨斯本地菜，就不一定算得上是南方菜了。
If it is a Texan food, it is not necessarily southern compatible.
所以，是这么个道理。
So Okay.
德克萨斯就像博格人，能把这些全吞下去。
Texas, like the Borg, can absorb any of those.
没错。
Right.
比如你和我都知道，有次我们去盐湖城吃烧烤，人家桌上直接端出一堆香蕉布丁和炸鸡，完全不按套路来。
Like, if you and and I think this is true because, like, if we one time we went to Salt Lake barbecue, and they just threw out a bunch of banana pudding and fried chicken that they just had.
那根本不是传统做法。
It wasn't standard.
这是因为，在任何时候，德克萨斯的厨房都会说：不行。
And that's because at any given point, the Texan kitchen will be like, no.
好主意。
Great idea.
我们已经拿过来了。
We have taken it.
给。
Here.
这是炸鸡。
Here's some fried chicken.
这种事是会发生的。
It can happen.
这不算主流。
It's not mainstream.
对吧？
Right?
这不算正统的德克萨斯风格，但他们确实能做出来。
It's not mainline, main canon Texan, but they can do it.
所以还是能兼容的。
So it's compatible.
明白了。
Alright.
现在我脑子里浮现的画面是，有人边走边吃着皮门特奶酪三明治。
So now in my head, someone was walking around with their walking around pimento cheese sandwich.
对。
Mhmm.
看到拎着威士忌水壶的人，心里嘀咕：这可真够呛。
Saw water jug whiskey person and thought to themselves, yeesh.
得给这个人点东西吃，就像游戏里的NPC一样，直接塞给他，帮帮他。
We gotta get something in in this person and gave it to them like like they were a a an NPC in a game that was like, here, to help you.
一个人上路太危险了。
It's dangerous to go alone.
拿走那个甲基奶酪吧。
Take the meth cheese.
我想插一句，因为霍莉才是青少年联赛的专家。
I I I would like to as I'm gonna tap in here because Holly's the expert on junior league.
我才是喝酒和醉得离谱方面的专家。
I am the expert on booze and on being that far out of
瘫软状态。
the limp.
这可不是一回事。
Necessarily not the same thing.
这些观点仅代表我个人，不代表亚特兰大青少年联赛。
These views are my own and do not represent the junior league of Atlanta.
别把我踢出去啊。
Please don't kick me out.
这些观点是你在这档播客里听过的第一个免责声明。
These views are the first disclaimer you've ever read on this podcast.
瑞安，你
Ryan, you
你不了解这些女人。
don't know these women.
对。
No.
我明白。
I get it.
我懂了。
I get it.
这些观点是我的，不代表酒精，但不得不说，它们非常准确。
These views these views are my own and not those of alcohol, but I will say that they're very accurate.
好的。
Okay.
所以他现在是百分之三十三点七。
So he's at a point three three seven.
对。
Yeah.
我先给大家一点背景信息。
I'm just gonna give you a little bit of context.
在酒驾案件中，血液酒精浓度达到0.008就属于法定醉驾标准。
Point zero zero eight is the legal limit for being drunk in a DUI situation.
对吧？
Right?
他们可能会引用
They might cite
在某些州引用。
it in states.
是的。
Yes.
对。
Right.
如果相关的话，公共醉酒报告里也可能提到这个数值。
They might cite it in a public intox report too if that's relevant.
比如，0.08这个数值，正好就是帕丽斯·希尔顿酒驾被捕时的酒精浓度。
But, like, point zero eight, that that's what got, like like, a celebrity arrest that is right on the nose is Paris Hilton.
帕丽斯·希尔顿酒驾时的酒精含量就是0.08。
Paris Hilton had a point o eight when she got a DUI.
梅尔·吉布森那次醉得厉害，还录下了大量反犹太和种族歧视的言论。
When Mel Gibson was on the moon drunk, okay, and then recorded saying a bunch of extremely anti Semitic and racist shit.
明白吧？
Alright?
你可能会想，天啊。
You think like, oh, man.
那肯定远远超过0.08了。
That's gotta be way over a point o eight.
其实并没有。
Nope.
不是。
Nope.
就只是0.12。
Just point one two.
他当时是0.12。
He was just at a 0.12.
明白吗？
Okay?
当里普·顿在德克萨斯农工大学的时候，顺便说一下，那是德州农工。
When Rip Torn noted Texas Aggie, Texas A and M Aggie, by the way.
闯进银行了？
Broke into a bank?
当里普·顿闯进银行的时候。
When Rip Torn broke into a bank.
因为他以为那是自己的家。
Because he thought it was his house.
因为他
Because he
因为他觉得自己在自己家。
Because he thought he was there.
穿着浴袍，手里还拿着枪。
With a gun in a bathrobe.
明白吗？
Okay?
警察找到他的时候，居然没开枪。
And the cops found him and somehow did not shoot him.
对。
Mhmm.
而且他
And he
我敢打赌他们当时都惊呆了。
I'm sure they were like, holy shit.
那是里普·通。
That's Rip Torn.
那是里普·通。
That's Rip Torn.
对。
Yeah.
里普·通被发现待在一家银行里，他以为那是自己的家。
Rip Torn was found inside a bank he thought was his house.
那是一把.203口径的枪。
That was a point 203.
哇。
Wow.
那是一把.2口径的枪。
That was a point two.
我以前在坦帕的一家酒吧里见过，墙上装了个酒精测试仪，你知道，那种地方真不错，当
I have in a bar in Tampa once that had the breathalyzer on the wall, which, you know, it's a good bar when
他们墙上挂着
they have the
呼气酒精测试仪。
breathalyzer on the wall.
挑战最高分吧。
Challenge the high score.
我不能保证那台机器的准确性，也不确定它有没有校准过，但我曾经在那种机器上吹出了0.27的数值。
I can't vouch for the accuracy of the machine or whether it was calibrated, but I blew a point two seven in one of those once.
我当时的状态，简直像件家具。
I would describe my state as furniture.
我连宇航员的水平都算不上，毕竟宇航员还能做决定。
I was not I was not even astronaut grade because an astronaut can make decisions.
我就是一块会动的肉块。
I was just a brick of flesh.
是的。
Yeah.
你当时就是你
You were you
在飞船外当宇航员。
were astronaut outside of ship.
是的。
Yeah.
是过。
Was.
我就像是《神奇校车》里阿诺德摘掉头盔后冻住的那段场景，那就是我。
I was that that episode of the magic school bus where where Arnold takes his helmet off, right, and he freezes, that was me.
明白吗？
Okay?
对不起，戴夫。
Sorry, Dave.
我做不到。
I can't do that.
是的。
Yeah.
你那时候就在《2001太空漫游》里，你就是那个婴儿。
You were you were you were in in 2001, you were you were the baby.
是的。
Yeah.
我当时饿得不行。
I was at full
他当时。
He was
饿得要命。
starving.
我是个饿得皮包骨的孩子。
I was full scar child.
原始人看到黑石碑。
Caveman seeing obelisk.
哦，天哪。
Oh, no.
那个原始人就是这么解决问题的。
The caveman solved problems in that way.
对吧？
Right?
他
He
弄明白了怎么用
figured out how use
在0.27的时候完全什么都做不了。
was entirely unable to do anything at point two seven.
明白吗？
Okay?
0.337呢？
Point three three seven?
先生，我们正在航行途中。
Sir, we are on a voyage.
或者女士，也可能是女士。
Or ma'am or ma'am.
我们也不确定。
We don't know.
说实话，这让我突然明白了过来。
Actually and now I this did make me go, okay.
我知道他们不记录这些数据，但你还是能查到。
I know that they don't keep records on this, but you can get this.
比如，《吉尼斯世界纪录》就不鼓励人们去追求过高的血液酒精浓度。
For instance, the Guinness Book of World Records does not want you to laud a high BAC.
他们根本不希望有人去尝试。
Certain They do not want you to attempt it.
这类内容在《吉尼斯世界纪录》里被归为观察案例，而不是正式纪录。
It's filed under the things in the Guinness Book of World Records that are deemed as observations, not records.
对吧？
Right?
喝醉了。
Drunk.
所以是说酒量最大的人？
So it says drunkest person?
这里描述的是
This is described
像喝下最多啤酒这类记录，但不一定是体内酒精含量最高的情况。
as I'm sure it has things like most beers drunk in x, but not necessarily most poisoned body.
最高的血液酒精浓度。
Highest blood alcohol level.
没错。
Right.
对吧？
Right?
没死掉，对吧。
Without dying Right.
括号里的内容，他们没写出来。
Is is the parenthetical they don't write.
对吧。
Right?
我只是觉得这对科学来说是个损失，你难道不想追踪这种现象随时间的变化吗？要知道，那时候每个人喝的几乎全是啤酒，连其他饮料都不碰，不只是我们这个播客里聊到的那些大学生。
It's a loss for science is all I was thinking about because you wanna don't you wanna track this through time as you know, I how does how does the era in which beer was drunk quite literally to the exclusion of all other liquids by everyone and not just, you know, people we on this podcast went to college with.
对。
Mhmm.
那个时代和南卡罗来纳州整个州推出‘萤火虫甜茶伏特加’那一年相比，又有什么不同呢？
How does that era compare to, say, the entire state of South Carolina, the year firefly sweet tea vodka came out?
没错。
Sure.
水手们在这中间算什么角色？
How what where do sailors fit into this?
对。
Mhmm.
是的。
The yeah.
1832年的英国海军。
The British Navy in 1832.
南卡罗来纳州那年火萤甜茶伏特加上市的时候，肯定比他们强多了。
Oh, South Carolina, the year firefly sweet tea vodka came out definitely has them beat.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
没错。
Yeah.
他们血液很稀薄。
They had thin blood.
威斯康星，1930年。
Wisconsin 1930.
这才是我想看的。
That's what I wanna see.
哦，白兰地洞穴。
Oh, the Brandy Caves.
白兰地洞穴。
The Brandy Caves.
用正常音量说一遍。
Say that in a normal voice.
我根本没法用正常音量说出这句话。
I'm incapable of saying that in a normal voice.
所以我去查了一下，现在念给你听答案。
So I went and looked this up, and I'm going to read you the answer.
有记录以来，人类血液中酒精浓度最高却活下来的纪录是1.374%，相当于每升血液中含有13.74克纯酒精。
The highest blood alcohol content ever recorded in a human being who lived to tell the tale, in other words, who did not fucking die, was 1.374, equivalent to 13.74 grams of pure alcohol per liter of blood.
展开剩余字幕（还有 480 条）
那时候你都能把自己装罐保存了，放货架上都不坏。
I bet you could can yourself at that point and be shelf stable.
你的酒精度那时候到底有多高？
Like, do you do you have an ABV at that point?
你身边总得有个人吧？
Do you always have a person?
对，得有个人。
Person Right.
是不是就像吸血鬼咬你一口，就能喝醉？
Is it like like like a vampire takes a bite of you and gets a buzz?
你那时候简直就是老派犹他州的啤酒了。
You're you're you're basically Utah you're old school Utah beer at that
点。
point.
你有没有遇到过那种人，吃大蒜后，味道会从毛孔里冒出来？
Have you ever been around one of those people who when they eat garlic, it comes out through their pores?
当然。
Sure.
你能闻到他们皮肤上散发的味道。
Like, and you can smell it in their skin.
瑞安，这个问题可能最适合问你，毕竟你是咱们这儿的意大利通。
Like, Ryan, this is probably best directed at you as our resident Italian.
没关系。
It's okay.
这不算种族歧视。
It's not racist.
但有没有可能喝到一种地步，光是靠近一个人，就能被他们的酒气熏得醉了？
But could you get is is it possible to get so drunk that you can get a contact drunk from being around a person's atmosphere?
对。
Yeah.
等他们一醉，整个人就变成米歇尔啤酒了。
Once they are like, I am become Michelob Ultra.
是的。
Yeah.
我猜是这样。
I suspect so.
要么就是，如果他们碰了什么表面，那地方有没有消毒过？
Either that or if they, like, brush against a surface, have they sterilized it?
天啊。
Like, oh, no.
我手上有个伤口。
I have a cut.
我本来想要一个《木偶圣诞》那样的，结果你现在变成治愈者了。
I want Like a Muppet Christmas one and now, you have you have become the healer.
你什么伤口都能处理。
You can you can clean all wounds.
对。
Yeah.
比如在《圣诞颂歌》里，冈佐用里佐那只老鼠的时候
Like, when Gonzo uses Rizzo the rat in Muppet Christmas Carol
就当个刮水器用。
as, like, squeegee.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
没错。
Right.
到这会儿，你都该能当证人了。
I mean, you would be to proof at this point.
当然。
Sure.
好的。
Okay.
是的
Yeah.
对
Yeah.
你可能会
You would be to you might
是康普茶。
be kombucha.
这外号真棒。
Great nickname.
是的
Yeah.
你基本上就是到处走动的康普茶。
You're basically walking around as kombucha.
你可以拿块手帕，擦擦额头，然后说：谁需要消毒湿巾？
You could let you could walk around with a handkerchief and, like, drag it across your forehead and be like, anybody need a sterilizing wipe.
当然。
Sure.
我不
I don't
我不知道我干嘛弄出这么个撩人的语气。
know why I made that sultry.
接下来我直接读下一部分，不加评论。
Going to read the next part without comment.
那位四十岁的波兰男子
The 40 year old Polish man
挺像一档播客的。
much of a podcast.
哦，是啊。
Oh, yeah.
得了吧。
Come on.
他的名字没有公开，2013年7月，人们在波兰东南部塔尔诺夫斯基沃利村路边发现他昏迷不醒。
Name was not disclosed, was found unconscious by the side of the road in the village of Tarnovsky Woli in Southeast Poland in July 2013.
七月？
July?
警方说
Police police said
还有什么时候比在外面睡着更合适呢？
What better time to fall asleep outside?
我确实
I sure
这肯定是在冬天发生的。
this is gonna be in the winter.
是的。
Yeah.
得说一句，挺公道的。
Gotta say, fair.
七月这个时间点反而提高了他活下来的几率。
That increases the likelihood of survival, the July part.
想象一下他浑身出汗的样子。
Imagine when he sweat it out.
还是说这反而让情况变得更复杂了？
Or does that make it does that make it a higher degree of difficulty?
防冻液？
Antifreeze?
就是说，什么
Like, what
你得喝多少才能让体液蒸发后，血液里的浓度降到那个水平？
did you have to what volume did you have drink for after evaporation for your blood to settle to that level?
如果真的蒸发了，反而可能有帮助，因为你把体内不是酒精的液体都排出去了。
If you have act Evaporation might help because you're you're extruding all liquid that isn't
那些不是酒精的液体。
that isn't alcohol.
好吧。
Alright.
说白了，那时候你的身体就像个蒸馏厂。
Basically You're your body's a distillery at that point.
对吧？
Right?
还不只是这样。
Not only not only that.
如果你遇到明火，酒精蒸发的时候，会不会让你周围笼罩着一层淡淡的火苗？
If you encounter open flame, does a gentle aura of flame surround you as the alcohol evaporates from you?
这就让你变成了某种……
Thus turning you into this kind
活火源？
pilot light?
你本身就是一个活火源？
Are you a pilot light?
一个灯塔？
A beacon?
这确实是个有趣的问题。
It is an interesting question.
你知道吗，我们根据你杀菌的特性把你归为治疗者，但你其实也有强大的力量
You know, we have assigned your class as healer based on your sterilizing properties, but you also have power
火之泰坦。
Fire titan.
你就是个火之泰坦。
You're a you're a fire titan.
等等，有点晕。
Wait a blur.
你完全配得上被称为火系法师。
You could possibly respect as a fire sorcerer.
以你这种醉酒程度，能搭配出很多种不同的玩法。
The the the there are many builds you could do with this level of of drunkenness.
你甚至可以继续走治疗师的路线，毕竟你用什么来烧灼伤口？
You could even continue on the healer path because what do you use to cauterize wounds?
是的。
Yeah.
你可以用这股火焰之力来治愈，也可以用来伤害。
You could use that fire creative to either heal or hurt.
你确实很全面，技能组合非常灵活。
You really are a versatile you have a versatile kit.
对。
Yeah.
好多了。
Much better.
我从这里得到的主要启发就是，这个想法真的很棒。
This like great a great idea is the is the general Plus Takeaway I'm getting here.
我们知道你血量多得用不完。
We know you got hit points for days.
我的天啊。
I mean, my god.
你简直能硬扛一拳。
You could take a fucking punch.
比如你身在波兰东南部，没错，老兄。
Like, when you're out there in Southeastern Poland, which yeah, man.
就是那儿发生的。
That's where this happened.
我相信你。
I believe you.
我甚至都不清楚波兰有哪些地方。
I don't even know, like, which parts of Poland there are.
你刚跟我说了波兰的ACC。
Going you just told me the ACC of Poland.
对他们来个四重阿吉。
Going quadruple Aggie on them.
你就像在波兰的路易斯安那一样。
When you're in the Louisiana of Poland.
关于这次逮捕，还有一个细节：现场警察据说根本不敢相信血液检测的结果，但他在被送往医院后得到了确认。
One other detail from this arrest, which is police at the scene reportedly could not believe the blood test readings, but they were confirmed on his arrival at hospital.
你信谁呢？
Who are you gonna believe?
虽然这个人命保住了，但医生说，他体内的剂量大得惊人
Although the man escaped with his life, doctors say this huge dose
你说他逃过一劫？
of mean escaped?
我就说他逃过一劫吧。
I I'm gonna give him escape here.
是的。
Yeah.
有一段时间。
At one point.
我的意思是，他根本就没从医院逃走。
Well, I mean, like, he he didn't, like, flee the hospital.
医院。
Hospital.
他是因为醉酒才跑的。
He fleed for drunkenness.
明白了。
Okay.
他当时是想逃跑。
He was trying to flee.
他是想躲开死神，结果却跟酒鬼恶魔玩起了小提琴对决。
I fled death's He got he got into a fiddling contest with whiskey devils.
确实如此。
So he did.
而且还把他打得够呛。
And beat his ass, no less.
那个男人跟酒精化身的浩克打了一架，还赢了。
That that man got into a fistfight with alcohol Hulk and won.
酒精。
Alcohol.
酒精。
Alcohol.
就在那儿。
There it is.
是的。
Yeah.
酒精。
Alcohol.
不过据说，虽然他活了下来，但大量饮酒已对他的消化系统、神经系统和心血管系统造成了严重且永久性的损伤。
And but they say that, though he did survive, the huge dose of alcohol has caused serious and permanent damage to his digestive, nervous, and cardiovascular systems.
是的。
Yeah.
我猜真是够呛。
I bet Damn.
我猜你听进去了。
I bet your listen.
我猜你要是真揍了那家伙，五分钟之后他就会说：哎哟。
I bet your nerves you could punch that man, and five minutes later, he'd be like, oh.
哎哟。
Oh.
你想想看。
Like, think
听好了。
Listen.
我不想轻视别人的健康问题，但我觉得，这是他的身体在说：我们永远不会让你忘记这件事。
I I don't wanna make light of another person's person's health concerns, but I feel like that's his body saying, we will never let you forget this.
我们永远不会让你忘记你对我们做了什么。
We will never let you forget what you did to us.
各位，你们觉得，喝七千瓶啤酒，哪有喝一两瓶啤酒来得舒服？
Folks, you know what's a lot more pleasant than drinking 7,000 beer?
杰森门廊上的鸟儿。
The birds on Jason's porch.
就是喝个一两瓶啤酒嘛。
That would be drinking, like, one or two beers.
没错。
Sure.
这主意怎么样？
How's that sound?
我上哪儿干这种事去？
Where could I do such a thing?
现在有谁不想喝一两瓶啤酒的？
Who couldn't go for one or two beers right now?
对啊。
Yeah.
尤其是在外面。
Well Especially outside.
我来跟你聊聊一个能喝一两瓶啤酒的活动。
Me tell you about an upcoming event at which you can drink one or two beers.
地点是默特尔比奇，10月29日星期三。
That would be Myrtle Beach, Wednesday, October 29.
这是由Modelo赞助的Homefield不可错过启动巡演。
The Homefield Can't Miss kickoff tour brought to you by Modelo.
Shutdown全阵容将现场亮相默特尔比奇，现场Pop-up商店享25%折扣。
Shutdown full cast live in Myrtle Beach on Myrtle Beach with, 25% off at the Homefield pop up shop.
另外还会免费送你一瓶Modelo，毕竟这是Modelo赞助的，让你喝上一瓶。
Additionally, a free Modelo because it's brought to you by Modelo so you can drink one beer.
喝一瓶就挺好。
One beer is great.
喝一瓶对身体有好处。
One beer is good for you.
喝一杯啤酒简直太棒了。
One beer is awesome.
你可能会想喝两到三杯。
You might want to have two or three.
而且那几杯应该也没问题。
Additionally, those are probably fine.
对吧？
Right?
那一定会很棒。
They will be wonderful.
到时候不会有
There will
威士忌水壶。
be no water jugs
威士忌。
of whiskey.
我们
We are
没必要带那么多，因为那不是我们自己的。
not need to bring that much because we not our own.
我们不会给你那么多威士忌。
We will not give you that much whiskey.
不会。
No.
我们会给你一瓶莫德洛啤酒。
We will give you one Modelo.
如果你来参加在默特尔比奇举办的 Homefield Presents 线下活动，10月29日的 kickoff 巡演千万别错过，由莫德洛冠名赞助。
If you come to the Homefield Presents shutdown forecast live in Myrtle Beach, can't miss kickoff tour brought to you by Modelo on October 29.
你只需要喝一瓶啤酒，就能赢下佛罗里达。
You don't you only need one beer to beat Florida.
你不需要什么装钱的水壶。
You don't need water jug of money.
能
Can
全部都行。
all that.
得了吧。
Come on.
别激动。
Calm
冷静点。
down.
如果你来了，就听好了。
If you show up listen.
如果你们有人打扮成贝尼西奥·德尔·托罗在《决战时刻》里的样子出现，我就把我的第二杯Modelo兑换券送给你。
If if any of you show up dressed as Benicio Del Toro in one battle after another, I will give you my drink ticket for a second Modelo.
这个优惠仅限一人。
This offer is limited to one person.
因为这是万圣节周，我们几周前就说过，想在10月29日的默特尔比奇演出上办个万圣节装扮比赛。
Because this is Halloween week, and we had said a couple weeks ago that we would like to do some sort of a Halloween costume contest at our Myrtle Beach show on October 29.
票务链接在简介和社交媒体上都有。
Ticket link enclosed in the notes within and on social
媒体上也发布了。
medias.
Priodairboats.com已经上线了。
Priodairboats.com has listed.
Priodairboatscom。
Priodairboatscom.
Priodairboats.com。
Priodairboats.com.
说说吧。
Talk.
这事就这么定了。
It's all over.
我们已经和Homefield谈过了，获胜者将获得一张500美元的礼品卡。
We have talked to Homefield, and there will be a $500 costume contest gift card for the winner.
谁穿得最出彩？
Who wears the best costume?
咱们在这事儿上可以发挥点创意。
Are we and, like, be be creative with this.
明白吗？
Alright?
我就扮成达博·斯威尼。
Like like, I'm I'm Dabo Sweeney.
对，就这么搞。
Like, that that it's oh, go.
你穿件橙色运动衫就行。
You're wearing an orange sweatshirt.
不一定非得是橄榄球主题。
It doesn't have to be football.
不一定非得穿足球主题的服装。
It does not have to be a football costume.
最棒的那套服装很可能就是……
There's a really good chance the best one will
话说回来，如果你真想扮达博的话……
Now that said, if you have a really dabo.
如果你……
If you
要是你想扮成丧尸版达博，那也行。
have a treat if you wanna be zombie dabo, okay.
我们可能会……如果你……
We might we might If you
如果你……
if you
把头发全部梳到前面，戴上清洁装备，但不穿裤子，只套个橡胶小黄鸭浮圈，再配上你的达博泳装，那绝对能惊艳全场。
comb all your hair forward and put on a cleansing gear but show up pants less wearing a little rubber ducky float and your dabo swimmy, that's gonna go a long way.
如果你扮成一匹马版的Dabbo，还发出Dabbo的嘶鸣声，那也挺好的。
If you come up if you come up as a horse version of dabbo and you're dabbo whinny, that's fine too.
我说清楚点。
I'll be clear.
我大概不会给任何Dabbo的装扮投票。
I'm probably not voting for any dabbo costumes.
哦，明白了。
Oh, know.
毕竟我们给你出了这么个难题。
Because we've given you a mess like this.
不过话说回来。
Anyway.
这种装扮简直让人难以置信。
That would be completely unbelievable as a costume.
霍莉，我们管这叫‘车 trunk 送糖’。
Holly, we call it trunk or treat.
我们管这叫‘不好意思’。
We call it Oh, excuse me.
我们管这叫‘圣灵节’。
Holy we call it holy ween.
我们管这叫‘圣收成周’。
We call it holy harvest week.
你知道的，这些活动之间有很多交叉的地方。
We you know, there there are many crossovers.
所以，各位，如果你也属于这种情况，欢迎来我们的默特尔比奇‘车 trunk 或者 咬’活动。
So, folks, if you're in that sort of boat, you can come on down to our Myrtle Beach trunk or treat show.
另外，如果你是我们的 Patreon 支持者，我们确实有 Patreon。
Additionally, if you're on our Patreon, we have a Patreon.
如果你参与活动，请私信我们完整的演员团队 Patreon，你会收到一个 Homefield 杯套和一张额外的饮品券。
DM the full cast Patreon if you're participating, and you will get a Homefield koozie and an extra drink ticket.
两杯啤酒。
Two beers.
咱们得注意安全。
Let's be safe.
嘿。
Hey.
太好了。
Perfect.
城里。
Town.
正好合适。
Perfect number.
去Eventbrite链接报名吧。
So go to the Eventbrite link.
明白了吗？
Alright?
这信息在我们的备注里。
That is in our notes.
如前所述，这个信息在所有网站上都能找到。
As noted, it is on every website all over the Internet.
买好票后，给我们的完整演员团队Patreon账号发私信，告诉我们你会来，我们会确保你拿到杯套和额外的饮品券。
Get your ticket and DM the full cast Patreon account to let us know you're coming, and we will make sure you get your koozie and additional bonus drink ticket.
我可没说让你去别的网站给别的账号发私信。
I did not say DM some other account on some other website.
杰森，我们是给Patreon账号发私信吗？
Jason, do we DM the Patreon account?
你直接去Patreon账号页面，然后点私信就行了。
You go to the Patreon account and you click DM.
好的。
Okay.
我不确定。
I don't know.
我也不太清楚，你去那个网站一看就明白了。
It's it I'll go to that website and you'll see it.
绝对一眼就能看到。
Can't miss it.
就去这个网站。
That is the website to go to.
太让人期待了。
Excitement.
我们一定会去的。
We're gonna be there.
正如
As
如前所述，这次是万圣节灾难主题。
noted, we're doing Halloween disasters.
我们也会把那个链接加上。
We'll include that link as well.
那边现在大概有五十个候选名单，但大家继续推荐啊。
We have about 50 candidates there to be read, but keep them coming, folks.
我们要讲一些关于诡异庆典的故事
We're gonna do stories of spooky celebrations
有趣吗？
on funny?
里面确实有几个挺搞笑的
There are some funny ones in there.
是的
Yeah.
比如说，有那个，或者说是
They're, like, there's Or at
至少听起来能觉得好笑
are at least capable of being read as funny.
对
Mhmm.
是的
Yeah.
是的
Yeah.
对
Yeah.
和往常一样，关键是讲个好故事，
As always, focus on, you know, tell a good story and,
确保
like, make sure
为你的悲伤留出空间。
rest the world for your sadness.
确保它听起来像是我们会读的那种内容。
Make sure it's something that sounds like we would read.
这么说吧。
Let's put it that way.
我们开始吧。
We go.
是的。
Yeah.
你了解我们的。
You know us.
你也了解我们。
You know us too.
太了解了。
Too well.
那两个链接会在笔记里。
Those two links will be in the notes.
你看，我们悄悄把播客的事儿给安排上了。
See, we snuck podcast business up on you.
我们这招怎么样？
See how we did that?
你看我们这
See how we
我们是怎么做到的？
did that?
咱们该开始节目了吧，各位笨蛋。
Will we start the show, idiots.
来吧。
Come.
他走了。
He gone.
他走了。
He gone.
真糟。
Damn.
你的麦克风爆音了。
You blew out your mic.
没错。
Right.
那可是你见过最糟的之一了。
That's one of the You worst saw that.
你当时简直吓坏了。
You were like, boy.
我怪这麦克风。
I I blame the mic.
我怪它。
I blame
这麦克风。
the mic.
一开球就直接打进了树林，球飞到了路上，观众都赶紧躲开，还好没出大事。
Straight off the tee, into the woods, sent that shit into the road, spectators ducking Not in terrible.
连补打一次的机会都得要，宝贝。
Even gonna take a mulligan, baby.
天哪，别这样。
Oh, no.
我就怪现代科技。
Just I blame I blame Modern Tech.
是狗。
The dog.
是司机。
Driver.
你瞧她多义愤填膺。
Look how indignant she is.
菲尔又要来一次了。
Phil's gonna do it again.
坐下吧，宝贝。
Sit down, baby.
胆小的钱赚不了钱。
Scared money don't make
钱。
money.
她气坏了。
She's so mad.
斯宾塞，你刚才那声音又响又有力。
Spencer, that seemed good and loud.
我觉得你声音确实有点大。
I think you probably got loud.
太好了。
Oh, good.
这下我们算是被接纳了。
Well, we're we're welcomed now.
没错，我们被接纳了。
We are welcomed.
那咱们说的‘我们’指的是谁？
And who who's we?
没错。
That's right.
我是斯宾塞·霍尔，节目常驻嘉宾有瑞安、丹尼、杰森·柯克、霍莉·安德森和迈克尔·塞伯，每周一和周二准时更新。
I am Spencer Hall joined us always by Ryan, Danny, Jason Kirk, Holly Anderson, and Michael Serber on the ones and twos.
这是互联网上唯一一档大学橄榄球播客，今天我们聊的是‘胆小的钱赚不到钱’这个话题。
This is the Internet's only college football podcast, and we have we're talking about scared money don't make money.
你知道这周谁在赚钱吗？
You know who's making money this week?
没错。
That's right.
没错。
That's right.
是那些被解雇的教练。
The coaches getting fired.
那些铁定要被炒鱿鱼的教练。
Coaches who are totally getting fired.
还有我们，因为我们搞了个小小的教练下课赌局。
And us because we have a little coach firing pool going on.
我这边押了
And I got
这么说起来，我们好像在赌博啊。
That makes it sound like we're gambling.
我们就是在赌博。
We are.
我们确实在赌博。
We are gambling.
我们一分钱都没投进去。
We have not invested any money in this.
不过如果你想知道几周前那场教练下课预测的最新进展，塞尔伯选的第一顺位——加州大学洛杉矶分校的德肖恩·福斯特，他的赔率还在涨。
But if you would like an update on the coaches hot seat draft from a few weeks ago, Serber's number one pick of UCLA's Deshaun Foster continues to accrue value.
到目前为止，他作为头号顺位已经拿了七分。
He has seven points total at this point for having the first overall pick.
记得咱们的计分规则吧，选得越早，分数越高。
Remember the scoring system, the older the pick, the more points they're worth.
但瑞安排第一，因为他选了第二顺位的布伦特·普莱和第四顺位的萨姆·皮特曼，总共10分。
But Ryan is in number one because he had number two, Brent Pry, and number four, Sam Pittman, for a total of, 10 points.
接下来是斯宾塞和霍莉·泰德。
Followed by Spencer and Holly Tide.
斯宾塞选了迈克·冈迪，他是第三个被选走的教练。
Spencer had Mike Gundy, the third coast off coach off the board.
霍莉拿的是所有没被选中的教练大杂烩，所以她算上了詹姆斯·弗兰克林和特伦特·布雷的分数，然后我才上场选了特伦特·迪尔弗里。
Holly had the grab bag of every nondrafted coach, which means she gets credit for both James Franklin and Trent Bray, and then I finally arrived on the board with Trent Dilfrey.
这就是目前的排名。
So that those are the standings.
还有不少分数等着被拿走。
There are plenty of points still on the board.
现在这教练圈可真是热得发烫。
This is a piping hot coaching carousel.
我能问个有趣的问题吗？
Can I ask a funny question?
马上就有动作了。
Action on the way.
对。
Yes.
Holly真的算上了所有其他教练的分，还是只算那些没被选上的？
I I does Holly get credit for literally every other coach, or is it just the first rules that aren't on the That we
是自己定的规则。
made up.
选吧。
Pick.
如果Holly因为有十个教练都没人选而赢了，这事儿可太有意思了。
I think it's very funny if Holly wins by virtue of there are 10 coaches that weren't on the board.
我觉得她能
I think she gets to
我完全认这个规则。
I definitely buy it.
计划一下错过这一集的情况。
Plan when missing the episode.
就像另一款著名游戏一样，唯一的胜招就是不玩，所以霍利因为没参加全体录制而赢了。
Much like the other famous game called the game, the only winning move is not to play, of course, so Hollywood win by having not attended the full cast.
是的。
Yeah.
当然。
Sure.
待在这儿可不明智。
It is not wise to be here.
对吧？
Right?
没错。
So like Yeah.
说得对。
That's fair.
霍莉做了明智的选择，根本没来。
Holly did the wise thing and was not here.
所以她应该得到奖励，比如
Therefore, she should be rewarded for getting, like
我同意。
I agree.
那十个随机选出的提名
The 10 rando picks
我同意。
I agree.
最后。
At the end.
我同意。
I agree.
我的意思是，霍莉，你这招真高明，把詹姆斯·富兰克林给搞定了。
I mean, Holly, way to way to get James Franklin.
没人有这本事。
Nobody's nobody's What pull.
来了。
Coming.
但你，作为场地的主人，确实有这能耐。
But you, owner of the field, sure as shit did.
Holly这操作真厉害。
What a pull by Holly.
我想多聊聊詹姆斯·富兰克林，但这是付费内容。
I would talk more about James Franklin, but premium content.
聊詹姆斯·富兰克林？只有铁粉才配听。
James Franklin talk is for big ballers only.
我们是在他被解雇后十分钟内，紧急上线了一期付费节目。
That's for, we put a Patreon, emergency episode up, like, ten minutes after the firing.
对。
Mhmm.
已经四十分钟了。
It's forty minutes.
挺不错的，这些内容。
Good It's stuff.
富兰克林的内容嘛，你们这些观众只能看到一些基本事实。
Franklin content is you you you folks, you get just Dilfacts.
你们得到的就是这些。
That's what you get.
没错。
That's right.
顺便说一句，每月四美元就能支持整个团队的工作，如果你喜欢的话。
And by the way, that's that that is $4 $4 a month to support the work of the full cast and that kind of stuff if you like.
除非我真的想这么做。
Now if unless unless I wanted to do this.
各位，咱们别开这种业务会议了。
Guys, we're not gonna have a business meeting about this.
我只是想说，其他人都
I'm just gonna state everyone else is
四美元。
of $4.
在打电话。
Making a call.
但我才是那个打电话的人。
But I'm making a call.
如果你是詹姆斯·富兰克林，那就要花四百万美元。
It's $4,000,000 if you're James Franklin.
如果詹姆斯·富兰克林真去听这个，就得花四百万美元。
If James Franklin tries to listen to that, that will cost him $4,000,000.
我们这是迈克尔·布隆伯格的那一期？
We're the Michael Bloomberg episode?
对。
Yes.
他将是唯一一位加入詹姆斯·富兰克林会员层级的人。
He will be the only member of the James Franklin membership tier.
每月四百万，你就可以听这个。
4,000,000 a month, you may listen to this.
那
What's
是吗？
mhmm?
特伦特·迪尔弗里得付多少钱？
What's Trent Dilfrey have to pay?
你知道的。
You know?
如果你们当中有人给特伦特付钱，只要付十万，就可以来参加节目。
If I think if either of you pays Trent, if you pay a $100,000, you can come on the show.
好的。
Okay.
好的。
Okay.
我们来搞个对特伦特·迪尔弗里的吐槽环节。
We will do the roast of Trent Dilfrey.
对。
Mhmm.
詹姆斯，说白了，你那钱就是不小心从屁股里掉出来的。
James, that is, like that's that money is falling out your ass on accident.
你既然赚得多，那就得多掏点。
You're gonna need to pay up more just because you have more.
我得去了解一大堆特伦特·迪尔弗里的事。
I'm gonna have to learn so many Trent Dilfur things.
如果他真这么干，我得记下一大堆关于他的细节。
I'm gonna have to learn so many Trent Dilfur facts if he does that.
哦，那你得确保我
Oh, well, make sure I'm
给我五个特伦特·迪尔弗的事实。
Give give me five Trent Dilfur facts.
说吧。
Go.
他小费给得特别少，我记得跟他住一块儿的时候。
He's a shitty tipper because I remember that living with him,
我想是这样。
I think.
你看看这个。
Look at this.
再看看这个。
At this.
你得去查查资料才行。
Talk about you gotta go do research.
真是够了。
What a Yeah.
有一个。
There's one.
他高尔夫俱乐部的所有球童一提到他都直摇头，天哪。
All of the caddy all of the caddies at his golf club are like, oh god.
他简直是最低的小费给法。
He's, like, the worst tipper.
他真的完全
He's absolutely
不给小费。
terrible.
一个。
One.
行。
K.
这已经花了半小时了。
That's half an hour right there.
我知道他特别热衷于精英八强赛。
I know that he was big into the elite eight.
他在那儿可是出了名的四分卫专家，还帮忙组织活动，甚至带徒弟。
He was a big, quarterback, like, guru there and helped organize that, including mentoring.
我觉得他跟年轻的杰米斯·温斯顿关系挺近的。
I think he was close with a young Jameis Winston.
那儿没什么可挖的料。
There's not there's not much material there.
他上的是弗雷斯诺州立大学。
He went to Fresno State.
对。
Yep.
没错。
Yes.
尽管他当过特伦特·迪尔弗，居然还拿过超级碗戒指。
He does have a Super Bowl ring in spite of being Trent Dilfur.
谢谢贾马尔·刘易斯和
Thank you, Jamal Lewis and the
巴尔的摩队的防守。
Ravens defense.
我觉得我们现在有两个了。
I'd say we're up to two.
是的。
Yeah.
我们现在已经到
We're up to
两个光头吗？
two Bald?
两个可以拿来调侃的对象。
Two Two roastable things.
亮闪闪的光头。
Shiny head.
秃顶。
Bald.
特别秃。
Extremely bald.
而且你看，我得说，这真是
And here, I'll give you It's a
挺好的，比如说，
good, Like,
他的整个UAB执教生涯加起来也就那么几件事。
it's I mean, his entire UAB tenure is, like, eight things.
比如，一边在播客里和UAB的体育总监聊天，一边公开为路易斯维尔招募球员——那可是你的上司啊。
Like, you know, openly recruiting for Louisville while on a podcast with UAB's AD, your boss at UAB.
还大谈他们排球队有多差。
Talking about how shit their volleyball team was.
对。
Mhmm.
是的。
Yeah.
连续好几场发布会都这么说，咱们可不像阿拉巴马那样。
Talking about, like, in multiple pressers in a row saying, like, it's not like we're Alabama.
就是那个你绝对不能提的学校？
The, like, the one school that you cannot ever Mention?
UAB在精神和道德上都比不上它。
UA UAB is, like, spiritually morally inferior to.
没错。
Yep.
没错。
Yep.
当时就是
It was
换作别人，我可能会觉得他是在搞砸了什么工作上的事，但这次不是。
almost anybody else I would think that that was him trying to do some kind of botched work situation, but no.
他蠢得可以。
He's that dumb.
嘴上说一大堆，结果才赢了九场，输了二十场。
Like, talking all that shit, you know, and and then going nine and twenty.
就连这成绩，他们也早该在整整一个赛季前就把他炒了。
And, like, even that is, like, they should've fired you this whole sea a whole season before they did.
这可能是所有人当初都看准了的错误决定，直到比尔契克出现为止。
And, like, the like, this was this might have been the hire that everyone was most right about until Belichick came along.
对吧？
Right?
根本没人觉得这是个明智的任命。
Like because I didn't see a single person who's like, oh, great hire.
你知道的。
You know?
大家争论的点是，迪翁请了个有名气的人。
Like, the argument was, oh, Dion hired a famous guy.
咱们雇个有名气的教练吧。
Let's hire a famous guy.
他认识所有这些
He knows all these
顶级的名人教练。
high famous guy.
他懂这些，但我们还得适应UAB这种级别的水平啊。
He knows all these high well, we're, like, adjusting to the UAB level a
嗯，有点道理。
little Yeah.
不对。
No.
这话说得在理。
That's fair.
他认识所有那些当年的高中新星，现在都在NFL打球呢。
He he knows all these all these high school recruits who are now in the NFL.
你懂的吧。
You know?
不可能有个孩子当年在迪尔弗里执教时参加过精英八强或精英十一训练营，现在大学毕业了，又重新跑回去被招募一遍。
Like, it's it's not like it's not like some kid who went to an elite eight camp elite eleven camp when Dilfrey was there is gonna, like, leave college and go back to be recruited all over again.
我再给你讲一个特伦特·迪尔弗里在NFL打球时的趣事好吗？
Can I give you one more good Trent Dilfact from his playing days in the NFL?
迪尔弗里？
A Dilfact?
对。
Yes.
有一回他在雄鹿队效力时，因为出手打人被赶出了比赛。
At one point, when he played for the Bucks, Trent Dilfrey got thrown out of a game for throwing a punch.
你知道他想打的是谁吗？
Do you know who he tried to punch?
你当时想打谁？
Who did you try to punch?
他这辈子最棒的事儿就是
The best thing he ever
约翰·兰德尔。
John Randall.
史蒂夫打架的时候，还跟约翰·兰德尔较上劲了。
Fighting Steve gets in line with John Randall.
嘿。
Yo.
这人啊，
That's a
你为啥会让他来负责任何决策呢？
Why would you ever put this man in charge of any decision making of any You
你以后别再做任何决定了，兄弟。
can't make choices ever again, man.
我们真该送你去养老院了。
We gotta put you in a home.
我试着跟约翰·兰德尔打过一架。
I tried to fight John Randall.
雇我吧。
Hire me.
天哪。
Wow.
真够胆大的。
Fearless.
哦，这是因为约翰·兰德尔对迪尔弗做了调查。
Oh, this is because John Randall did his research on Dilfur.
所以我想让你知道，如果我们在这儿写迪尔弗的故事？
So I want you to know that if we wrote Dilfur story here?
而且他
And he
不行。
no.
你去搜一下就能找到。
You can go find this.
在TikTok上。
It's on TikTok.
是兰德尔在谈论那场比赛。
It's Randall talking about that play.
兰德尔就是那种人，回家后会把整个媒体指南从头到尾读一遍，就为了对付对手时能说上几句。
Randall was one of those guys who would go home and read the entire media guide just to go up against guys and be like
找点话题聊。
To find shit to talk about.
没错。
Yeah.
我猜你在密苏里州科林伍德的老家，肯定是个不好惹的角色。
I bet you're I bet you're a real bet you're a real bitch back there in your home town of Collingwood, Missouri.
对吧？
Right?
他就是那种人，一开口就说，哦，是啊。
Like, he was he was one of those guys who would be like, oh, yeah.
你有三个姐妹。
You got three sisters.
另一个家伙就会说，然后呢，你知道的。
The other guy would be like, and then would, you know
你永远不可能像你高中同学安德鲁·舒那样出名。
You'll never be as famous as your high school classmate, Andrew Shoe.
对。
Right.
兰德尔确实干过这种事，不过他跟迪尔弗雷之间的事似乎也没什么大不了的。
Like, Randall did that shit, and apparently, what he did with Dilfrey was pretty benign.
对吧？
Right?
他就说，是啊。
He was like Yeah.
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