南瓜土豆 🍂🥔

你好。

Hello.

我叫朱尼珀。

My name is Juniper.

欢迎收听《睡个好觉的故事》。

Welcome to Sleep Tight Stories.

西奥是个男孩，他有一只狗叫杰克。

Theo is a boy who has a dog named Jack.

西奥和杰克非常相爱。

Theo and Jack love each other very much.

西奥的奶奶也很喜欢杰克，所以随着天气变冷，她给杰克织了一件毛衣。

Theo's grandmother also loves Jack, and so she made him a sweater to wear now that the weather is getting cooler.

西奥尽力想让杰克穿上毛衣，但杰克就是不愿意。

Theo tries his best to get Jack to wear the sweater, but he just doesn't want to.

南瓜土豆。

The pumpkin potato.

西奥非常喜欢杰克。

Theo loved Jack.

他甚至给杰克起了这个名字，当时觉得特别有创意。

He'd even picked his name, thinking it was pretty original.

不过现在他长大了，想法就不一样了。

Though now that he was a lot more grown up, he thought otherwise.

但这也没关系，因为他知道杰克很喜欢自己的名字。

But that was okay because he just knew Jack loved his name.

每次西奥叫他的名字，杰克的屁股就会摇一摇。

Whenever Theo said it, Jack's butt wiggled.

如果这都不算喜欢名字的表现，那什么才算呢？

And if wasn't a sign of loving a name, then what was?

杰克的特点就是体型小，特别可爱，有点像西奥，不过西奥可不觉得自己可爱。

The thing about Jack was that he was small and very cute, a bit like Theo, except Theo didn't think he was cute.

他觉得自己很帅。

He was handsome.

至少他奶奶是这么说的。

At least that's what his grandma always said.

她总是说他很帅，西奥也信了。

She'd said he was very handsome, and Theo believed her.

而且不只是因为她说这话的时候总是会烤好吃的饼干，还配上牛奶。

And not just because she said it whenever she baked delicious cookies and served them with milk.

那确实好吃，但这不是原因。

That was yummy, but it wasn't the reason.

杰克可爱是因为他是只柯基，柯基总是很可爱，也很有趣。

Jack was cute because he was a corgi, and corgis are always cute and very fun.

杰克是西奥在这个世界上最好的朋友，甚至比隔壁的托马斯还要好，虽然他们从小就认识。

And Jack was Theo's best friend in the whole wide world, even more than Thomas, who lived next door and who he'd known since he was a baby.

他妈妈告诉他，他们小时候是同一个保姆带的，这可能是真的。

His mom told him they'd had the same babysitter when they were babies, which could be true.

不然托马斯和西奥怎么会知道呢？

How would Thomas and Theo know otherwise?

他们当时还是小宝宝。

They were babies.

西奥的奶奶也很喜欢杰克，而这就是现在的问题所在。

Theo's grandma loved Jack too, and that was the problem right now.

她太喜欢杰克了，以至于给他织了一件特别的毛衣，让他在秋天甚至冬天都能保暖。

She loved him so much that she knit him a special sweater to keep him warm in the fall and maybe the winter.

但那件毛衣是橙色的，让杰克看起来既像土豆又像南瓜。

Except the sweater was orange, and it made Jack look like a cross between a potato and a pumpkin.

而杰克就是不肯穿。

And Jack just wouldn't wear it.

事实上，他刚刚又把它脱掉了。

In fact, he'd just crawled out of it again.

每次西奥试着给他穿，他几乎都是用同样的方式脱掉。

He did it just about the same way every time Theo tried.

先是头缩回去，然后前腿缩回去，接着他后退几步，像对待玩具一样使劲抖了抖，直到毛衣掉在地上，而杰克站在旁边，一副得意洋洋的样子。

First, his head disappeared, then his front legs, and then he backed up and gave it a big shake like one of his toys until the sweater was lying there on the floor, and Jack was standing next to it looking very pleased with himself.

西奥说，他不喜欢橙色。

He doesn't like orange, Theo said.

妈妈说，他是只狗。

He's a dog, said mom.

他看不见橙色。

He can't see orange.

嗯，他能看出它很丑。

Well, he can see it's ugly.

妈妈说不丑。

It isn't ugly, mom said.

嗯，其实也不算太丑。

Well, not really ugly.

她脸上带着一种半开玩笑的表情，可能她并不完全认真。

She had a kind of smirk on her face, which might mean she wasn't entirely serious.

你奶奶要来吃晚饭，她会想看到杰克穿着这件毛衣。

Your grandma is coming for dinner, and she'll want to see Jack wearing it.

她在这件毛衣上花了很多心思。

She worked very hard on it.

西奥知道这是真的。

Theo knew that was true.

奶奶上次来他家吃饼干的时候就开始织这件毛衣了，感觉像是很久以前的事，其实可能才过了一个星期。

Grandma had started knitting it the last time he went over for cookies, and that felt like years ago, though it might have been a week.

她甚至特意用他妈妈的手机给西奥打了电话。

She'd even phoned Theo specifically on his mom's phone.

虽然宇宙里其他所有人都有手机，但西奥还没有，所以奶奶打电话来问杰克腰围有多大，西奥得用杂物抽屉里的绳子量，杰克还一直想咬那根绳子。

He wasn't allowed to have a phone yet, even though everyone else in the universe did, to ask how big around Jack's middle was, and Theo had to measure him with the string from the junk drawer while Jack tried to eat the string.

西奥又趴到地上，杰克摇摇晃晃地走过来，他每次都这样，因为他觉得趴在地上就意味着要揉肚子、玩耍或者有什么好玩的事，而且他通常猜得没错。

Theo got down on the floor again and Jack waddled over, the way he always did because he figured the floor meant belly rubs or play or something fun, and he was usually right.

西奥把毛衣套过杰克的头，然后一条腿，再另一条腿。

Theo pulled the sweater over Jack's head, then one leg, and then the other.

杰克站着一动不动。

Jack stood very still.

他看着西奥，表情完全没变化。

He looked at Theo with, like, no expression.

你知道，柯基犬的表情是很丰富的。

Corgis are very expressive, you know.

它们至少有五种不同的笑容。

They have at least five different kinds of smiles.

但接着他的舌头伸了出来，然后他不停地抖啊抖，把毛衣抖掉了，掉在了地上。

But then his tongue popped out, and he shook and shook and shrugged off his coat, and it fell to the floor.

整个过程大概就像打个喷嚏那么快，不过鼻涕少一些。

The whole thing took about as long as a sneeze, but with less boogers.

看到了吧，妈妈？

See, mom?

他不喜欢这件毛衣。

He doesn't like it.

我不能强迫他喜欢。

I can't force him to like it.

我还没学会催眠什么的，而且杰克有自己的想法，你知道的。

I haven't learned hypnosis yet or anything, and Jack has a mind of his own, you know.

西奥挠了挠杰克耳后。

Theo scratched Jack behind the ears.

杰克一屁股坐在了毛衣上。

Jack sat down on the sweater.

我们能不能就给他穿上一分钟，拍张照，然后给奶奶看看？

Can we just put it on him for one minute, take a picture, and show grandma?

或者我们可以告诉她，他跑出去跟别的狗玩，然后那只狗把毛衣偷走了什么的。

Or we could tell her he ran off and played with another dog and that dog stole it or something.

另一只狗偷走了，妈妈说道。

Another dog stole it, mom said.

一只大狗。

A big one.

那大狗要一件橙色毛衣干什么？

And what would a big dog want with an orange sweater?

西奥想了想。

Theo thought about it.

也许那只大狗觉得冷，身上毛不多，不够暖和。

Maybe it was cold and didn't have lots of fur to keep it warm.

妈妈笑了，但只是微微一笑。

Mom laughed, but only a little.

她把毛衣从地上捡起来，叠成方块，放在厨房的桌子上。

She picked the sweater up off the floor, folded it into a square, and set it on the kitchen table.

或者她说，你可以跟奶奶说实话。

Or she said, you could tell grandma the truth.

西奥看着她，好像她让他把毛衣吃掉一样。

Theo looked at her like she told him to eat the sweater.

那绝对是最糟糕的主意。

That's the absolute worst plan.

那也算是个主意。

It's a plan.

妈妈回到台子前，开始削土豆皮。

Mom went back to the counter and started peeling potatoes.

六点吃晚饭，奶奶会提前很久来串门，所以你有时间想个更好的主意。

Dinner's at six, and grandma will be here long before that for a visit, So you've got till then to think up a better one.

西奥看了看炉子上的钟。

Theo checked the clock on the stove.

显示的是1点47分。

It said 01:47.

时间还很充裕。

That was plenty of time.

简直就像永远那么久。

That was practically forever.

所以，他先试了试催眠。

So first, he tried hypnosis.

他曾在动画片里看过，还从图书馆借过一本关于催眠的书，就在魔术书那一区。

He'd seen it on a cartoon once, and he'd even read a book about it from the library, in the section with the magic trick books.

西奥本来想学几招纸牌魔术，但每次他试的时候，大家都看穿了他的把戏。

Theo had wanted to learn some card tricks, but when he tried them out, everyone knew what he'd done.

催眠看起来比纸牌魔术容易多了。

Hypnosis looked a lot easier than card tricks.

你只需要一个能晃来晃去的东西。

You just needed something swingy.

西奥脱下一只袜子，在杰克鼻子前慢慢来回晃动。

Theo pulled off one of his socks and dangled it in front of Jack's nose, slowly back and forth.

“你开始困了，”他用最低沉的声音说。

You are getting sleepy, he said in his deepest voice.

“你喜欢橘子。”

You love orange.

“你喜欢毛衣。”

You love sweaters.

杰克看着袜子来回摆动，看起来好像真的有效，真的有效，直到突然，杰克一把抓住袜子，甩了几下，然后叼着它跑到沙发后面去了。

Jack watched the sock go back and forth, and it looked like it was working, really working, until all of a sudden, Jack grabbed the sock, gave it a few shakes, and ran behind the couch with it.

西奥只好趴在地上爬着追他，等他拿回来的时候，袜子已经湿透了，脚趾那里还破了个洞。

Theo had to crawl after him on his belly, and by the time he got it back, it was soggy and had a hole in the toe.

里面怎么样了？

How's it going in there?

妈妈打电话来了。

Mom called.

西奥说，挺好的。

Good, said Theo.

他得试试别的办法。

He had to try something else.

奶酪。

Cheese.

杰克对奶酪的喜爱甚至超过了西奥，而西奥已经非常喜欢奶酪了。

Jack loved cheese even more than Theo did, which was a lot.

西奥几乎什么都喜欢加点奶酪，除了早餐麦片，那玩意儿加了奶酪味道可不怎么样。

Theo liked cheese on just about everything except his breakfast cereal, which didn't taste so great.

西奥甚至用奶酪教过杰克一些把戏。

Theo had even used cheese to teach Jack some tricks.

杰克从来做得不太好，但他确实很热情。

Jack never did them super well, but he was certainly enthusiastic.

西奥走到冰箱前，拿出奶酪片，就是那种上面有牛奶罐图案的好吃的。

Theo went to the fridge and got out the cheese slices, the good kind with the pitcher of milk on them.

他把一片奶酪撕成小块，一块放在毛衣领口里，一块放在每个袖子里，像一条小路。

He tore a slice into little pieces and put one inside the neck of the sweater and one in each sleeve, like a trail.

这应该能行吧？

This would work, right?

杰克过来，使劲地嗅了嗅毛衣。

Jack came and sniffed the sweater with big sniffy sniffs.

然后他把整个头都伸了进去，看起来真的快要成功了。

Then he stuck his whole head in, and it absolutely looked like it was going to work.

里面传来一阵大嚼的声音。

There was a lot of munching.

杰克吃东西的时候动静很大，妈妈不太喜欢，但你能怎么办呢？

Jack made a lot of noise when he ate, which mom didn't like, but what can you do?

毛衣在地板上扑腾来扑腾去，就像活了一样。

And the sweater flopped around on the floor like it was alive.

但接着杰克退了出来，舔了几下嘴唇，然后抬头看着西奥，还想要更多。

But then Jack backed out, licked his lips a few times, and looked up at Theo for more.

这招没奏效，现在毛衣闻起来有奶酪味，可能还有点狗狗的口水味。

It didn't work, and now the sweater smelled like cheese and maybe a little like doggy breath.

西奥站在那里，摸着下巴，过了一会儿。

Theo stood there for a moment rubbing his chin.

他曾在电影里看到科学家思考时会摸下巴，所以他觉得这样做也许有帮助。

He'd seen a scientist in a movie rub his chin when he was thinking, so he figured it might help.

确实有帮助，他还在脑子里记了一笔，下次数学考试时要用这个技巧。

It did, and he set a reminder in his brain to use this technique the next time he had a math test.

他的新计划是去找托马斯问问。

His new plan was to go ask Thomas.

也许他能有答案。

Maybe he would have an answer.

托马斯在外面，正把篮球弹到车库的墙上。

Thomas was outside bouncing a basketball off the side of his garage.

如果不是因为这件橙色毛衣的问题，西奥可能也会在外面和他一起。

Theo might have been out there with him if it weren't for the orange sweater problem.

他站上一个木箱，那是他专门为这种情况准备的，这样他就能越过篱笆看到外面。

He stood up on a wooden box he'd put there for just this kind of occasion so he could see over the fence.

嘿，托马斯。

Hey, Thomas.

西奥说：“我需要帮助。”

I need help, Theo said.

怎么了？

What's up?

别问我数学的事。

Don't ask me about math.

那是你的专长。

That's your department.

不是。

No.

不是。

No.

比那严重多了。

It's way more serious than that.

我奶奶给杰克织了件毛衣，他就是不穿。

My grandma knit Jack a sweater, and he won't wear it.

他就是拒绝穿，而他很少拒绝什么。

He just refuses, and he doesn't refuse much.

连奶酪都不管用。

Cheese didn't even work.

托马斯停止了弹球。

Thomas stopped bouncing.

什么颜色？

What color?

是橙色的。

It's orange.

托马斯做了个鬼脸。

Thomas made a face.

咦。

Ew.

换我我也不穿。

I wouldn't wear it either.

那没什么帮助。

That's not helping.

托马斯一边想，一边又弹了两次球。

Thomas bounced the ball two more times while he thought.

西奥不确定这样是否像摸下巴一样有效。

Theo wasn't sure this was as effective as rubbing your chin.

我奶奶以前给我织过一顶帽子。

My grandma knit me a hat once.

帽子上有耳朵，像大兔子耳朵一样。

It had ears on it like big bunny ears.

你戴过吗？

Did you wear it?

有一次去她家的时候戴了，托马斯耸耸肩说。

One time to her house, Thomas shrugged.

她哭了。

She cried.

西奥的眼睛睁得大大的。

Theo's eyes got big.

是高兴的哭，还是难过的哭？

Happy crying or, like, sad crying.

我不知道，托马斯说。

I don't know, said Thomas.

奶奶的眼泪真不好分辨。

It's hard to tell with grandma's.

这信息可没什么用。

That was not particularly useful information.

谢了，伙计。

Thanks, bud.

回头聊。

Talk soon.

托马斯回去继续把篮球往车库上弹，西奥则从箱子上跳了下来。

Thomas went back to bouncing the basketball off the garage as Theo hopped down off the box.

他回到屋里，杰克在门口迎接他，屁股摇来摇去的，好像西奥离开了整整一百年，而不是仅仅五分钟。

He went back inside, and Jack met him at the door with his butt doing its wiggling thing like Theo had been gone for, a hundred years instead of just five minutes.

凌晨两点五十八分，一辆车的车门在车道砰的一声关上。

At 02:58, a car door slammed in the driveway.

奶奶比他预期的还要早到，他还没来得及想出更多主意。

Grandma had arrived even sooner than he expected before he could think of any more ideas.

西奥跑到厨房，从桌上抓起毛衣，藏到背后。

Theo ran to the kitchen, grabbed the sweater off the table, and stuck it behind his back.

如果真是大狗偷走了，那它不可能还好好放在厨房桌上，对吧？

If a big dog had stolen it, it couldn't very well be sitting on the kitchen table, could it?

门铃响了三次，这是奶奶的暗号，意思是：喂，我来了。

The doorbell rang three times, which was grandma code for, hello, I'm here.

西奥有一次试过按六下，结果挨了批评，这真让人摸不着头脑。

Theo tried that once with six rings and got in trouble, which didn't make much sense.

奶奶进来了，一只胳膊下夹着她的饼干罐，那个以前装巧克力的罐子，巧克力也挺好吃的，还有她每次来都带着的温暖笑容。

Grandma came in with her cookie tin under one arm, the one that used to hold chocolates, which are also good, and the warm smile she always had when she came to visit.

杰克当然兴奋得不行。

Jack, of course, went crazy.

它绕着圈跑。

He ran in circles.

它上蹿下跳，这可是它专门留给奶奶的待遇。

He jumped up and down, which was something he saved just for grandma.

他打了个喷嚏，扭得太厉害，整个后半身都歪到一边去了。

He sneezed a bit, and he wiggled so hard his whole back end went sideways.

看看我的帅小伙。

Look at my handsome boy.

奶奶说：“让我好好抱抱你。”然后抱住了西奥。

Let me give you a great big hug, grandma said, and hugged Theo.

她身上闻起来有巧克力曲奇、香草和红糖的味道。

She smelled like chocolate chip cookies and vanilla and brown sugar.

然后她弯下腰对杰克说：“还有我的另一个帅小伙。”

Then she bent down to Jack, and there's my other handsome boy.

她揉了揉他的头，揉了揉他的肚子，还拍了拍他的屁股。

She rubbed his head, rubbed his belly, and patted his butt.

杰克高兴得不得了。

Jack was deliriously happy.

然后她问：“他的毛衣呢？”

Then she asked, where's his sweater?

西奥张开嘴正要回答。

Theo opened his mouth to answer.

那只大狗就在那儿，随时准备出发。

The big dog was right there ready to go.

一只又大又冷的狗不知从哪儿冒出来，叼着它跑了。

A big cold dog who came out of nowhere and ran off with it.

那只狗看起来很难过，也许真的很需要它，或者它生气了，而西奥很难过。

The dog looked sad and maybe really needed it, or maybe it was angry and Theo was sad.

整个故事差不多都准备好了，就等着说出来。

The whole story was sort of ready, just waiting to spill out.

他看向妈妈。

He looked over at Mom.

妈妈一句话也没说。

Mom didn't say a word.

她只是继续搅拌着锅里香喷喷的东西，微微挑了挑眉毛。

She just kept stirring something sweet smelling in a pot and raised her eyebrows a tiny bit.

西奥说。

Said Theo.

他把毛衣从背后拿出来。

He brought the sweater out from behind his back.

它在这儿。

It's here.

他其实不太喜欢穿它。

He, doesn't really like wearing it.

我真的尽力了。

I really tried.

我甚至拿奶酪诱惑他，你知道他有多喜欢奶酪。

I even offered him cheese, and you know how he loves cheese.

奶奶什么也没说。

Grandma didn't say anything.

不是因为毛衣难看，西奥赶紧说。

It's not because it's ugly, Theo said fast.

这件毛衣不难看。

It isn't ugly.

嗯，其实也不算太难看。

Well, not really ugly.

它是橙色的，这倒没什么问题，因为现在是秋天，秋天和橙色很配，但他每次都能从里面钻出来。

It's orange, which isn't a problem because it's fall and, you know, fall and orange and stuff, but he just gets out of it every time.

你看。

Watch.

我演示给你看。

I'll show you.

他趴到地上，杰克摇摇晃晃地走过来，因为地板意味着所有好玩的事情。

He got down on the floor, and Jack waddled over because the floor meant all the good fun things.

西奥做了他之前试过的动作，但这次没有用奶酪。

Theo did the same thing he'd tried before but without the cheese.

他把毛衣套过杰克的脑袋，先穿进一条腿，再穿进另一条腿。

He pulled the sweater over Jack's head, put in one leg, and then the other leg.

杰克站在那里，抬头看了看奶奶和西奥。

Jack stood for a moment and looked up at grandma and Theo.

然后舌头伸了出来，杰克抖了抖身子，把外套甩掉，外套掉在了地上。

Then out came the tongue, and Jack shook and shrugged off his coat, and it fell to the floor.

奶奶发出了一声像茶壶一样的声音。

Grandma made a noise like a tea kettle.

然后她笑得厉害，不得不坐在最下面的台阶上，西奥还得赶紧抓住饼干罐，免得她掉下来，那对饼干和西奥来说都会是一场灾难。

Then she laughed so hard she had to sit down on the bottom stair, and Theo had to grab the cookie tin before she dropped it, which would have been a disaster for the cookies and for Theo.

她笑得眼泪都出来了。

She laughed until her eyes were wet.

那是开心的眼泪，西奥看得出来，所以也许分辨奶奶的眼泪并不那么难。

It was happy crying, that much Theo could tell, so maybe it wasn't so hard to tell with grandmas after all.

哦，他简直就像你爷爷，她说，用袖子擦着眼睛。

Oh, he's just like your grandpa, she said, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

我给那个男人织了11件毛衣。

I knit that man 11 sweaters.

11件。

11.

他只穿了两件。

And he wore two.

其他的不是太扎就是太紧，要么就是——她挥着手说——太花哨了。

The rest were too itchy or too tight or too, she waved her hand around, too festive.

所以你不怎么生气？

So you're not super mad?

亲爱的，如果每次有人不穿我织的东西我都生气，那我就没时间织了。

Sweetheart, if I got mad every time somebody didn't wear my knitting, I'd never have time to knit.

他们说话的时候，杰克用牙齿叼起毛衣。

While they were talking, Jack grabbed the sweater in his teeth.

他拖着毛衣穿过厨房地板，一路拖到暖气边他的窝里，然后拽了进去。

He dragged it across the kitchen floor all the way to his bed by the heater and pulled it in after him.

他转了三圈，然后砰的一声趴在上面，还打了个大呼噜。

He turned around three times and flopped down right on top of it with a big grunt.

哎呀，你看看这个。

Well, would you look at that?

奶奶说。

Said grandma.

他喜欢这件毛衣，西奥说。

He likes it, Theo said.

他只是不想穿而已。

He just doesn't want to wear it.

它让他暖和着呢，不是吗？

It's keeping him warm, isn't it?

奶奶说。

Grandma said.

这就是我希望它做到的。

That's all I wanted it to do.

西奥决定不提奶酪的事。

Theo decided not to mention the cheese.

晚餐他们吃了烤鸡和土豆泥，甜点是奶奶的饼干配牛奶。

They had roast chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner and grandma's cookies with milk for dessert.

每次西奥看过去，杰克都蜷在那件橙色毛衣上，打着呼噜。

And every time Theo looked over, Jack was still curled up on the orange sweater, snoring.

那天晚上，杰克也把毛衣拖上了楼。

That night, Jack dragged it up the stairs too.

他花了好长时间，一步一步地拖，还不让任何人帮忙。

It took him a long time, one step at a time, and he wouldn't let anybody help.

他把毛衣拖到自己床脚，转了三圈，然后扑通一声趴下。

He pulled it into his bed at the foot of Theo's, turned his three circles, and plopped down.

只开着走廊的灯，那件毛衣看起来一点也不丑。

With just the hall light on, the sweater didn't look ugly at all.

它还是像个南瓜，但南瓜看起来也挺好的。

It still looked like a pumpkin, but pumpkins look okay.

妈妈站在门口。

Mom stopped in the doorway.

一只大狗，西奥把毯子拉到了下巴。

A big dog, Theo pulled his blanket up to his chin.

我其实没打算那么说。

I wasn't really gonna say that.

嗯，妈妈说着关掉了走廊的灯。

Mhmm, said mom as she turned off the hall light.

西奥躺在黑暗中，听着杰克打呼噜。

Theo lay there in the dark listening to Jack snore.

然后他探出床边。

Then he leaned over the edge of the bed.

杰克，他轻声说。

Jack, he whispered.

而在他的橙色毛衣上，杰克睡得正香，屁股轻轻扭了一下。

And down on his orange sweater, fast asleep, Jack's butt gave a little wiggle.

这就是我们故事的结尾。

And that is the end of our story.

晚安。

Good night.

睡个好觉。

Sleep Tight.