瞬间提升幸福感的有效方法 & 你所不知道的圣诞节趣事

今天在《你应当知道的事》节目中，你可能觉得自己是个好司机，但别人是怎么想的呢？

Today on Something You Should Know, you might think you're a good driver, but what do other people think?

我们会弄清楚的。

We'll find out.

接着，我们将了解幸福的科学，以及真正让人长期幸福所需的东西。

Then understanding the science of happiness and what it really takes to make people happy for the long term.

相对而言，谁倒了垃圾并不那么重要，但你知道，谁让别人感到被爱，或者谁让别人感到不受欢迎，这才是关键。

Relatively speaking, who took the garbage out is is not that important, but, you know, who made someone feel loved or who made somebody feel unwelcome is is everything.

此外，还有在第一次约会时最该问的四个问题，以判断是否该有第二次约会，以及圣诞节的奇妙演变。

Also, the best four questions to ask on a first date to see if there should ever be a second date, and the fascinating evolution of Christmas.

我想对大家说，我认为存在一种基督教的圣诞节，还有一种文化意义上的圣诞节。

I'd like to say to people, I think there's a Christian Christmas and a cultural Christmas.

而文化意义上的圣诞节这些年来不断膨胀。

And the cultural Christmas just has grown and grown over the years.

你知道，我认为最能说明这一点的例子之一就是日本。

And, you know, one of the most striking examples I think of this is in Japan.

大约有一半的家庭会摆放圣诞树。

About half of the homes have Christmas trees.

但在日本，只有大约2%的人是基督徒。

But in Japan, about 2% of the people are Christian.

所有这些内容，今天都在《你应当知道的事》节目中。

All this today on something you should know.

《你应当知道的事》——带来精彩资讯、世界顶尖专家的见解，以及你今天就能用上的实用建议，主持人迈克·卡鲁瑟斯。

Something you should know, fascinating intel, the world's top experts, and practical advice you can use in your life today, something you should know with Mike Carruthers.

你知道，我总觉得自己是个不错的司机。

You know, I I like to think of myself as a a pretty good driver.

我这一辈子只开过一张罚单，那还是我19岁的时候。

I've only had one ticket in my entire life, and that was when I was 19.

而且我只出过一次车祸，我想是这样。

And I've only been in, I think, in one car.

真的只有一起吗？

Was it just one?

是的

Yeah.

我想是一次车祸。

I think one car crash.

那时我也才19岁。

I also was 19 at the time.

所以那一年，我并不是一个特别好的司机。

So that year that year, I was not a particularly good driver.

但从那以后，我明显提高了驾驶水平，因为此后我再也没有收到罚单或发生过事故。

But since then, I've clearly stepped up my game because I haven't had a ticket or an accident since.

事实上，我们大多数人认为自己是好司机，但真相是，你和我可能在不知不觉中做一些让其他司机觉得我们不是好司机的事情。

And the truth is most of us think we're good drivers, but the fact is that you and I may be doing things without even knowing it that make other drivers think we're not such good drivers.

例如，在上坡的停车标志或红绿灯前紧贴前车。

For example, crowding the car in front of you on an uphill stop sign or stoplight.

这很烦人，因为当前车司机从刹车踏板移开脚、踩上油门之间，他的车可能会稍微向后滑动。

This is annoying because between the time the driver in front of you takes his foot off the brake and moves it to the gas pedal, his car may start rolling backwards a little bit.

如果他开的是手动挡，车子几乎肯定会向后滑。

And if he has a manual transmission, it almost surely will start to roll back.

如果你停得太靠前，看起来就像个讨厌鬼。

And you look like a jerk if you stop too close behind him.

如果你在灯变绿后，因为对方后退得太靠近你的车而按喇叭，你的讨厌指数还会翻倍——但其实这本来就是你的错。

And your jerkiness rating doubles even more if you then honk at the guy for rolling back when the light changes because he's getting too close to your car, which was your fault in the first place.

再举一个例子。

Here's another one.

真正让我抓狂的是，当轮到自己通行时，有人却让出路权。

And this one really drives me crazy is when people yield the right of way when it's their turn to go.

当然，你让别人先走是好心，但这打乱了节奏，制造了混乱和愤怒。

Sure, you're being nice to let people go in front of you, but it throws off the rhythm, it creates confusion and anger.

所以轮到你走的时候，就直接走。

So when it's your time to go, go.

还有在红绿灯前轰油门。

Also revving your engine at a traffic light.

不是我，你知道的，这大概是男人的事吧，但其实没人会因此佩服你。

Not I you know, this is a guy thing, I guess, but really no one's impressed.

这又不是戴通纳。

It's not Daytona.

这只不过是一条普通街道。

It's just a neighborhood street.

当你在红灯处轰油门时，所有听到的人都觉得你是个傻瓜。

And everyone who hears you revving your engine at the stoplight really just thinks you're a moron.

不打转向灯。

Not using your turn signal.

告诉别人你的意图有那么难吗？

What is so hard about letting people know what you intend to do?

变道或转弯时请使用转向灯。

So use your turn signal when you're changing lanes or turning.

这真的很容易。

It's really easy.

但别太早或太晚打转向灯，因为当你在还差四个街区才转弯的时候就打灯，没人知道你到底想干嘛。

Just don't do it too late or too early because, you know, when you signal four blocks before you really intend to turn, nobody really knows what you're doing.

最后一点，红灯时慢慢往前挪。

Here's the last one, creeping forward at a red light.

我们都做过这种事，但为什么呢？

And we've all done this, but why?

我们真的以为，多往前挪几英寸，等绿灯亮起时就能得到什么好处吗？

Do we really think that those extra inches will somehow pay off later when the light turns green?

其实别人都在笑话你。

And really people are just laughing at you.

这一点你该知道。

And that is something you should know.

谁不想快乐呢？

So who doesn't want to be happy?

我们都想快乐。

We all want to be happy.

但幸福是偶然发生的，还是有意为之的呢？

But does happiness come by chance, or is it deliberate?

快乐的人会刻意努力去保持快乐吗？

Do happy people make a conscious effort to be happy?

还是他们天生就是这样？

Or are they just that way?

那科学怎么说呢？

And what about the science?

幸福已经被研究得很多了。

Happiness has been studied a lot.

也许我们可以从这些科学研究中汲取一些经验，应用到自己的生活中，让自己更快乐。

And perhaps there are some things we can take from that science and apply to our own lives to be happier.

多年来，戴维·尼文一直研究相关成果，并出版了多本相关书籍，包括《快乐人士的100个简单秘密》《快乐家庭的100个简单秘密》以及其他几本书。

For years, David Niven has studied the research and published several books about this, including 100 simple secrets of happy people, 100 simple secrets of happy families, and several other books as well.

他所做的，就是将科学研究成果转化为我们可以付诸实践的具体行动，帮助我们变得更快乐。

And what he does is he translates the the scientific findings into practical actions that we can all take to be happier.

欢迎，大卫。

Welcome, David.

非常感谢，迈克。

Thanks very much, Mike.

很高兴能来到这里。

It's a pleasure to be here.

我想每个人都听说过，快乐的人往往比较乐观，拥有牢固的人际关系。

So I think everyone has heard that happy people, you know, tend to be optimistic that they that they have strong relationships.

但除此之外，还有哪些其他方面呢？

But beyond that, what are the other things?

有哪些可能是我们忽略掉的、快乐的人会做的事情？

What are the things that maybe we've missed that happy people do?

我们通常倾向于夸大眼前发生的事情的重要性。

We have a general, you know, tendency to exaggerate the importance of what's happening immediately around us.

所以，每个人都会陷入这样的想法：天啊，我堵在路上了。

And so, you know, everybody falls victim to, oh, man, I'm stuck in traffic.

这种想法认为，这是发生过的最糟糕的事情。

This is the worst thing that's ever happened kind of thinking.

而那些处于更健康、更快乐状态的人，能够稍微退后一步，从更宏观的角度看待这些问题，不让每个人都会遇到的那些小挫折主导一整天的情绪，不让它们占据思维的中心。

And the folks who are on a kind of a healthier, happier plane are able to sort of step back from that a little bit and put that into perspective and not let those little frustrations that absolutely everybody encounters, not let them stand for the day, not let them dominate their thinking.

当我谈到幸福研究时，人们感到震惊的一点是，普遍认为幸福的人拥有某种神奇的生活，整天沉浸在巧克力圣代和其他愉悦之中。

That's one of the things that I think shocks people when I talk about happiness research is the general notion that happy people have some kind of magical existence where they float between chocolate sundaes and other delights.

但实际上，幸福的人也会堵车，也会有令人不快的同事，也会经历所有同样的挫折，只是他们更擅长不让这些挫折掩盖其他一切。

And in reality, happy people get stuck in traffic and happy people have some unpleasant coworkers and happy people have all the same kinds of frustrations, but they're better at not letting those frustrations block out everything else.

他们更擅长为事情赋予一点点的视角，即使交通真的很令人沮丧，它也不比你一天中剩下的23个半小时更重要。

They're better at being able to put things in just the tiniest bit of perspective to say that even if traffic is really frustrating, it's not more important than the other twenty three and a half hours of your day.

我们都知道这样的人，但你认为，或者科学表明，这些人是天生如此，还是他们有意识地在这样做？

And we all know people like that, but do you think, or does the science say, that those people are wired that way, or that's a deliberate thing that they try to do?

我认为这里存在一种结合。

Well, I think there's kind of a combination here.

随着我们对美好生活的基础要素越来越了解，人们能够看清通往幸福的道路。

I think that as we get smarter about the building blocks of a good life, that people can see the path to that.

我认为有些人天生就具有这种特质，能够轻松地摆脱烦恼。

I think some people are blessed to be wired that way and they can happily go about sort of shaking off the frustrations.

而我们大多数人也可以学会以这种方式看待事物。

And then a lot of us can learn to approach things that way.

我来给你一个完美的例子。

And I'll give you a perfect example of this.

打破常规，无论多么微不足道、多么小，都能促进积极的心态，并让你对所做之事采取更具创造力的方式。

Breaking a routine, no matter how trivial, no matter how small, breaking a routine contributes to a positive outlook and a more creative approach to what you're doing.

那这意味着什么？

So what does that mean?

如果你连续五天午餐都吃同样的三明治，那就打破这个惯例。

Well, if you eat the same sandwich at lunch five days in a row, break the routine.

如果你每天上班都走完全相同的路线，那就打破常规，换一条稍微不同的路。

If you go to work the exact same way every day, break the routine, go a slightly different way.

如果你每天周一穿的都是这些衣服，那就打破惯例，换一件不同的衬衫，像这样的小事，任何人都可以学会并付诸实践，从而突然间对自己的工作产生更积极的态度。

If these are your this is the stuff that you wear to work every Monday, break the routine and wear a different shirt, little things like that that anybody could learn and put into practice and all of a sudden contribute to a slightly more positive approach to what they are doing.

所以我认为关键答案是两者兼有。

And so I think the bottom line answer is it's both.

有些人天生就自然而然地找到了这种方法，而有些人则通过读书、听你的节目、思考自己可以轻松做到哪些小事来让生活变得更好，从而找到了更积极的生活方式。

There are some people who happened upon this you know, by, you know, by nature, and there's some people who happen upon a better approach to life by, you know, by reading books, by by listening to your show, by, you know, thinking through what, you know, what they could do very easily that would make them their lives just a little better.

关于人际关系、人际接触的必要性，人们谈论得太多了。

There's so much talk about the need for relationships, human contact, all of that.

但为什么呢？

But why is that?

人们从这些关系中得到了什么，使他们感到快乐？

What is it that people get from that that makes them happy?

每个人都需要，包括内向的人。

What people everybody needs, including the introverts.

每个人都需要的是人际肯定。

What everybody needs is the human reinforcement.

他们需要一种相对于其他人的自我认知，这种认知能让他们觉得自己处于一种积极的状态。

They need a sense of themselves relative to other humans that, you know, that puts them in something of a positive light.

那这意味着什么？

So what does that mean?

我来给你举一个我最喜欢的例子，说明一件微不足道的小事如何能带来积极的心态，而且这本质上是人性的体现。

Well, I give you my favorite example of something tiny that will contribute to a positive outlook, and is inherently human.

做点什么。

Do something.

它可能只是下次你走进便利店时，帮别人扶一下门。

It could be as minor as holding the door open the next time you you're walking into a a convenience store.

为别人做一件善意的事。

Do something kind for someone.

每个人，不管你多么内向，都会因为这种想法而获得一点点愉悦：即使在这么微小的行为中，我也在确认自己是个好人。

And everyone, I don't care how introverted you are, everyone gets this this this little little ping of pleasure from this notion that even in that tiny little act, it's a reinforcing notion that I'm a good person.

看看这个。

Look at that.

看看我刚刚为别人做了什么。

Look what I've just done for somebody.

你知道，这种事说明了关系有各种各样的形式，家庭如此，个人生活也是如此，但每个人都需要这种小小的、能带来肯定的人际互动。

And, you know, that's the kind of thing where you say, relationships come in all different shapes and sizes, families do, personal lives do, but everybody has that need for that little bit of reinforcing human contact.

这就是为什么研究在这一点上并不一致——除了这个，没有哪一件事是每个人都需要的。

And that's why research is really not uniform on there's one thing that everybody needs except this.

他们需要这种人际肯定，无论你通过哪种方式获得它。

They need that human reinforcement, no matter which way you access it.

而帮人扶门只是众多小事中的一件，却恰好适用于每一个人。

And the holding the door open is just one little thing that happens to apply and work for absolutely everybody.

谈谈家庭吧，家庭成员之间和睦相处、获得幸福的秘诀是什么，这和个体的情况有所不同。

Talk a bit about families and what the secrets are for families to get along with each other and be happy as opposed to individuals.

嗯，同样地，在家庭关系中，研究非常明确地指出，看到比自己更大的事物，并且不陷入非赢即输、你我对立的心态，具有不可思议的价值。

Well, know, again, in the family dynamic, what, you know, the research is, you know, is very clear on the incredible value of seeing something that's larger than yourself and, you know, not being stymied by a winner take all, me versus them mentality.

幸福家庭生活的关键，在于能够将自己融入这种更大的背景之中。

The key to a fulfilling family life is that capacity to put yourself into that context.

因此，当人们发生争执时，研究发现的一个现象是：暂时离开争执几周或几个月，很多人会忘记当初争执的真正原因是什么。

And so when you think about people who are arguing with each other, one of the things that research finds is step away from that argument for a few weeks or months, and a lot of people will forget what the actual subject was, what got us started on that argument.

但每个人都会记得争论中出现的情绪，比如当对方告诉你你错了，或者你告诉对方他们错了时的感受。

But everybody will remember the feelings that came up during the argument, the feelings that experienced as somebody was telling you how wrong you were or you were saying how wrong they were.

所以重点在于能够退一步思考，赢得争论实际上并没有那么有效，而思考你所做事情的更大目标则非常有帮助。

So the point of that is to be able to step back and see winning the argument is actually not all that productive and thinking about the larger purpose of what you're doing is quite productive.

你知道，无论这是爱情关系、亲子关系还是其他任何关系，第一步都是最关键的一步。

And you know, that that very first step, you know, regardless of whether it's it's a love relationship or a parenting relationship or or what, you know, that very first step is the biggest one.

这不是很有趣吗？

Isn't that interesting?

每个人都经历过这种情况：当你回想与家人的一次争吵时，通常记不清争吵的具体内容。

And everyone has experienced that, that when you recall that you had an argument with someone in your family, you often don't remember what it was about.

你只记得自己有多生气，或者

You just remember how mad you were or

沮丧，或者你知道，你感觉有多糟糕，或者你让对方感觉有多糟糕。

upset Or you this, you know, how terrible you felt or how terrible you made them feel.

而这种情绪可能会持续一辈子。

And And that kind of feeling can last forever.

从这个角度来看，倒垃圾的人是谁其实没那么重要，重要的是谁让别人感受到了爱，谁又让别人感到不被欢迎。

And it really does put into perspective relatively speaking who took the garbage out is not that important, but who made someone feel loved or who made somebody feel unwelcome is everything.

因此，这种理解力至关重要——即使在你感到沮丧时，也能退后一步，看到比当下更重要的东西。

And so that kind of understanding to be able to step back and even as you're frustrated to be able to see something bigger and something more important than the moment.

再次强调，这归结为一种能力：能够看到比当下更宏大的事物，无论你是被困在交通堵塞中，还是在争论该谁倒垃圾。

And again, it comes back to that capacity to see something bigger than the moment, whether you're stuck in traffic or whether you're having an argument about whose turn it is to take out the trash.

能够看到更宏大的事物，才是真正的力量和稳定的源泉。

It is, a true source of of of power and stability to be able to see something bigger.

我的嘉宾是大卫·尼文。

My guest is David Niven.

他是《快乐人生的100个简单秘诀》《美好关系的100个简单秘诀》以及其他关于幸福的书籍的作者。

He is the author of 100 simple secrets of happy people, 100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationships, and other books about happiness.

你知道，每个自由职业者都明白，最重要也最耗时的任务之一就是财务管理。

You know, every freelance business person knows that one of the most important and time consuming tasks is finances.

FreshBooks 为那些深知把握每一刻至关重要的自由职业者，提供了极其简便的云端会计软件。

And FreshBooks makes ridiculously easy cloud accounting software for freelancers who know that making every moment count is crucial.

通过极大简化发票、费用跟踪和在线收款等流程，FreshBooks 已经彻底改变了超过一千万人处理文书工作的方式。

By drastically simplifying things like invoicing, tracking expenses, getting paid online, FreshBooks has fundamentally changed how more than 10,000,000 people deal with their paperwork.

比如费用管理。

For example, expenses.

你可以将 FreshBooks 账户与你的信用卡和借记卡绑定，这样下次你报销商务午餐或加油时，费用会自动出现在你的 FreshBooks 账户中。

You can link your FreshBooks account to your credit and debit card so the next time you expense a business lunch or tank of gas, it'll show up automatically in your FreshBooks account.

如果你有任何疑问，FreshBooks 获奖的客户服务非常友好。

And if you have any questions whatsoever, FreshBooks' award winning customer service is super friendly.

而且，通常在三声之内就会有真人接听电话。

Plus, a real live person usually answers the phone in three rings or less.

要领取为期一个月的无限制免费试用（无需信用卡），请访问 freshbooks.com/something，并在“您是如何了解到我们的？”栏目中输入 something you should know。

To claim your month long, unrestricted free trial, no credit card required, go to freshbooks.com/something and enter something you should know in the How did you hear about us?

栏目。

Section.

网址是 freshbooks.com/something。

That's freshbooks.com/something.

所以，大卫，在你通过这些书籍研究这一切的过程中，科学告诉你最让你惊讶的几点是什么？

So, David, in all the research you've done on all of this through all of these books, what are the few things that you found most surprising that the science says?

我举个例子，来自一本叫《这不是关于鲨鱼》的书，这本书讲的是如何解决问题。

Well, I'll give you an example from a more recent book called It's Not About the Shark, which is about solving problems.

关于这方面的研究核心非常有趣。

The gist of the research on this is kind of fascinating.

如果你一开始就专注于你想要解决的问题，带着对问题本身的极致关注，你反而更难找到解决方案；但如果你先思考‘我能为这种情况做点什么？’，情况就会不同。

If you start out focused on a problem that you're trying to solve, if you start out with laser focus on the problem itself, you're less likely to be able to come up with a solution than if you start out thinking about what could I do about this situation?

我能做些什么？我能做些什么来让情况变得更好？

What could I do what could I do to make this better?

所以，如果你一开始就紧盯问题出在哪里，你就永远无法超越它。

So if you start off unfocused on what's wrong, you're never gonna get past it.

这最初是一个研究项目。

And this started as a as a research project.

他们给工程师们展示了一个挑战，这些工程师正准备步入社会，设计各种各样的产品。

They showed engineers a showed challenge, and these were folks who were getting ready to go out into the world and design all kinds of products.

他们说：‘我们希望你们为汽车设计一个终极自行车架。’

And they said, We want you to make the ultimate bike rack for a car.

第一组工程师接到这个任务后，他们还告诉这些工程师：‘看看其他工程师在这件事上是如何失败的。’

And the first group of engineers, they they they gave them this task and they said, here's how other engineers have failed at this.

这是他们出错的地方，也是他们无法解决这个问题的原因。

Here's where they've here's where they've gone wrong and haven't been able to solve this.

而第二组工程师则被告知：‘为汽车设计一个自行车架。’

And the second group, they said, build a bike rack for the car.

我们希望你们尽最大努力把它做到最好。

We want you to make it as best as you possibly can.

他们没有告诉第二组任何人之前是如何挣扎的。

And they didn't tell them anything about how other people had struggled.

他们也没有说这件事有多难。

They didn't say how this was hard.

结果发现，第二组提出了远多于第一组且更优秀的自行车架创意。

And it turns out the second group came up with vastly more ideas and better ideas for the bike rack.

区别在于，第二组人致力于提出尽可能好的想法，而第一组人则只是试图解决问题。

And the difference was the second group was trying to come up with the best idea possible, and the first group was trying to solve the problem.

因此，无论我们谈论的是个人生活还是职业生活，这一点都适用。

And so that applies regardless of whether we're talking about personal lives or professional lives.

你应该从追求你想要的东西开始，而不是对抗你不想要的东西。

You start by working toward what you want, not working against what you don't want.

如果你能思考清楚你真正想要到达的地方，而不是纠结于如何解决你不想要的问题，你会更有创造力，也更有热情。

You know, if you can if you can think through where where do you actually want to be rather than how do I solve this thing I don't want, you're going to be more creative and more passionate.

你会提出更好的想法，并且能把事情做得更远。

You're gonna come up with better ideas, and you're gonna take this farther.

所以，对于生活中遇到的任何事情，这都可以作为一个起点，这会让很多人感到惊讶，因为我觉得我们的倾向是，一旦出现问题，就会把所有精力都投入到这个问题上。

So, I mean, that as a as a kind of a starting block for whatever it is you're encountering in life, think, is is surprising to a lot of people because I think our our tendency is, you know, if there's a problem, then I'm gonna put all my effort into that problem.

你会专注于这个问题，而忽略世界上其他一切。

I'm gonna focus on that and nothing else in the world.

但这实际上是解决任何问题的最差方式。

And that's actually the worst way to solve anything.

但这就是解决问题的方式来纠正错误。

And yet that is the problem solving way to fix what's wrong.

而且

And

但没错。

yet Right.

问题越大，你就越努力去解决它。

And the bigger the problem, the harder you work at it.

所以，你知道，这件事越重要，情况就越糟，这可能是工作中的问题，也可能是家庭中的问题。

And and so, you know, the more important this thing is, the the worse it is, and this could be a problem at work, this could be a problem at home.

问题越糟，你就越拼命努力，结果不知不觉间，就把其他所有事情都挡在了外面。

You know, the worse it is, the more you just, you know, you redouble your efforts and the next thing you know, block out the sun with regard to what you would do.

这跟鲨鱼无关。

And it's not about the sharks.

故事从史蒂文·斯皮尔伯格拍摄电影《大白鲨》开始，那是他的第一部重要电影，对他的职业未来至关重要。

It starts with an anecdote about Steven Spielberg making the film Jaws, and it was his first major movie, and it was incredibly critical to his professional future.

如果这部电影失败了，他就彻底完了。

If this failed, he was going to be a failure.

他把电影的大部分预算都花在了机械鲨鱼上。

And he had spent most of the film's budget on a mechanical shark.

《大白鲨》的机械鲨鱼根本没法用。

And the mechanical shark for Jaws didn't work.

它一充气就变得像一个巨大的海棉花糖。

It, you know, it it puffed up so that it looked like a a giant sea marshmallow.

他们让它动的时候，它却纹丝不动。

It didn't move when they told it to move.

它根本无法吓唬游泳的人，因为它完全是个废品。

It couldn't it couldn't menace swimmers because it was it was just a dud.

于是他面临着一系列糟糕的选择。

And so he was looking at a whole host of unattractive options.

他可以试着再造一条鲨鱼，但已经没钱了。

He could try and build another shark, but there was no money for it.

他可以尝试修理鲨鱼，但他没时间，因为电影的拍摄已经全面开始了。

He could try and fix the shark, but he didn't have time to because the movie had all production had already begun.

如果他只想着：我有个坏掉的鲨鱼，我该怎么修好它？

He had if he had focused on, I have a broken shark, how am I going to fix it?

《大白鲨》就永远不可能拍出来了。

Jaws would never have been made.

相反，他转而思考：我怎样才能把这部电影做到最好？

And instead, focused on, how could I make this movie as good as possible?

于是他想到了一个主意：大部分时间都不要展示鲨鱼。

And he hit upon the idea of, for the most part, don't show the shark.

给观众留下想象的空间，让他们觉得鲨鱼正在向他们逼近。

Give people the chance to imagine the shark is coming for them.

让他们自己去填补空白。

Let them fill it in.

因此，他想到了让镜头一半在水面上、一半在水面下的构图，并用音乐来暗示鲨鱼正在靠近。

And so that's where he came up with that idea of the camera being half above and half below the water and using that music to suggest the shark is coming.

这个想法正是这部电影的全部魔力所在。

And that idea is the whole magic of the movie.

人们记住它正是因为它，也正因如此，它才成为了一部经典。

That's what it's remembered for, and that's why it became a classic.

而这一切之所以可能，是因为他没有纠结于‘我该怎么修好这条坏掉的鲨鱼’。

And it was only possible because he didn't focus in on what am I gonna do with a broken shark.

相反，他专注于‘我怎样才能拍出最好的电影’。

Instead, he focused in on how do I make the best movie possible.

这其实是一种真正能产生伟大创意的方法，无论你面对的是什么挑战。

And and that's really the approach, whatever it is you're up against, that actually produces great ideas.

还有别的吗？

What else?

为什么？因为这简直就是一记本垒打。

What what because that's a home run right there.

我的意思是，这完全可能改变游戏规则。

I mean, that that could that's a game changer.

但再多来几个这样的小洞见，真的会很棒。

But but a couple more of those kind of little, insights would really be cool.

当然。

Sure.

当然。

Sure.

当然。

Sure.

你知道吗，这里有一个不错的例子。

You know, here's a here's a good one.

乐观者走在街上时，低头看的时间更少，而悲观者则更常低头。

Optimists literally walking down the street spend less time looking down and pessimists spend more time looking down.

所以这是一个小细节，但它影响着你所看到的一切和你所感受到的一切。

And so here's a little thing, but it affects everything that you see and everything that you feel.

如果你总是低头，看到的可能是人行道上的口香糖，而看不到任何希望与奇迹。

If you're looking down, you're seeing, I don't know, gum on the sidewalk and nothing of any great hope and wonder.

如果你抬头看，世界正在欢迎你。

If you're looking up, the is welcoming you, the world is welcoming you.

你每天、一整天都在做的这些小事，正在强化你的积极或消极情绪。

Little things like this that you do every day, that you do all day long are reinforcing positive or negative feelings.

无论其他一切如何发生，无论那些你无法控制的事情如何，我认为我们有时低估了那些完全在我们掌控之中的事情的价值。

And regardless of everything else that's going on, all the things that are outside of your control, I think we underestimate sometimes the value of the things that are perfectly in our control.

因此，我非常鼓励大家理解这一点：是的，挫折难免存在，但每天你都可以做一些小事。

And so I would very much encourage folks to understand that, that yes, there's going to be frustrations, but there are little things each day that you can do.

你为别人扶住门，抬头看看天空，而不是只盯着自己的鞋尖，这些行为会强化你对生活的积极感受，让你更开放地接纳积极的体验，而不是把自己封闭起来。

You hold open that door, take a look up at the sky and not just down at your shoes that are gonna reinforce, you know, positive feelings that you have about everything and open yourself up to positive experiences and not leave you, you know, kind of closed off from things.

这听起来不错，但背后有真实的科学依据吗？

And that sounds good, but is there real science behind that?

有的。

There is.

这背后有真实的科学依据。

There's real science behind it.

这就是为什么我说，你知道，这些事情中的一些，我之前提到过，不要每周一都穿同样的衣服去上班。

And that's why I say, you know, some of these things, and you know, I mentioned earlier that the don't wear the same clothes to work every Monday.

这背后有真实的科学依据。

There's real science behind this.

我们已经做了大量相关研究，让一组人尝试做其中一件事，改变他们的日常习惯。

We've, you know, a host of studies that have been done in this area where a group will be encouraged to do one of these things, change their routine.

然后科学家们把他们叫来，给他们做一些小测试，比如文字谜题或创造力测试，结果那些改变了日常习惯的人在这些测试中表现更好。

And then the scientists bring them in and give them a little test, give them a little like one of those word puzzle tests or creativity tests and the folks whose routine has been changed do better on these tests.

这背后有真实的科学依据。

There's real science behind it.

我来给你举一个我最喜欢的例子，说明做一点更愉快的事情有多么惊人的力量。

I'll give you one of my favorite examples of the shocking power of doing something a little bit more pleasant.

一组研究人员为一位病人创建了一份医疗档案，其中描述了一系列症状和病情。

A group of researchers created a medical file for a patient, and it described an array of symptoms and conditions.

他们把这份档案交给执业医生，并说：好吧，诊断一下这个人。

They gave the file to practicing physicians and they said, okay, diagnose this person.

一半的医生在收到文件和指示的同时，还收到了一块巧克力。

And half the physicians that gave them the file and those instructions, half the physicians, they gave them the file and a chocolate bar.

也就是说，他们描述的是同一个病人、同样的病情，但拿到巧克力的医生在任务中表现得更好。

And so literally, it was describing the same patient with the same conditions and the chocolate bar doctors did better on the task.

拿到巧克力的医生更有可能成功诊断出病人。

The chocolate bar doctors were more likely to successfully diagnose the patient.

这意味着什么？

So what does that mean?

一点点快乐，这些受过高度训练的专业人士生活中短暂的快乐时刻。

A little bit of joy, a little momentary bit of joy in these highly trained professionals' lives.

突然间，他们在自己的工作上表现得更好了。

And all of a sudden, they were better at what they're doing.

这就是为什么我说，我们有充分的科学依据证明，这些微小的行为能让你更开放地接受积极的结果，让你更愿意努力尝试，让你更愿意享受你正在做的事情，而这些改变可以带来一切不同。

And that's why I say we have great, great science on the power of these little actions that make you a little bit more open to positive outcomes, that make you a little bit more open to trying harder, that make you just a little bit more open to enjoying what you're doing, and it can change everything.

有趣的是，我们往往在很多方面把生活中的快乐挤压掉了，但重新把快乐带回来，除了让人感觉良好之外，还有真正的益处。

Well, is interesting how we sort of squeeze the joy out of life in many ways, yet putting it back in has real benefits besides just, you know, feeling good.

你知道吗，这就是为什么我说，像打破常规、摆脱那些让你封闭起来的事情，这类想法蕴含着巨大的力量——要看到自己不仅仅是一个零件、某个庞大机器中的又一个齿轮，而是真正地在其中融入一些人性的时刻。

You know, that's why I say these ideas along the lines of breaking out of routines or breaking out of things that kind of close you off, you know, there is an enormous power in that, you know, in in seeing yourself not simply as a widget, as another cog in some larger machine, but really taking some human moments into this.

从一方面来说，这听起来有点令人不安：我的医生如果在见我之前吃了一块巧克力，就会更准确地诊断出我的问题。

And on one level, it sounds kind of frightening that, well, my doctor is going to do a better job figuring out what's wrong with me if he or she has a chocolate bar before they see me.

但另一方面，这恰恰证明了人类情感的力量，关心我们完整的自我，其重要性和紧迫性，丝毫不亚于我们通常认为的守护生命所必需的其他一切。

But on the other hand, that is really just testimony to the power of human feeling and that caring for the whole of ourselves is actually every bit as important, every bit as critical as all the other things that we think of as the essence of providing and protecting for lives.

提供和保护这种快乐与人际联结，其重要性丝毫不亚于食物和住所。

Providing and protecting for that joy and and that human connection is every bit as critical as as, you know, as food and shelter.

所以，这似乎意味着，是的，幸福需要一点努力，但只是很少的一点努力。

So it seems like the message is, yeah, happiness takes a little work, but it's just a little work.

只要付出一点努力，我们所有人都能变得更快乐。

And that with a little effort, we could all be a lot happier.

大卫·尼文是我的嘉宾。

David Niven has been my guest.

他是一位研究者，也是多本关于幸福的著作作者，包括《快乐人生的100个简单秘密》和《快乐家庭的100个简单秘密》。

He is a researcher and author of several books on happiness, including 100 simple secrets of happy people and a 100 simple secrets of happy families.

他在这次对话中提到的另一本书，不是关于鲨鱼的。

And the other book he mentioned in our discussion, it's not about the shark.

他的亚马逊主页上有他所有关于幸福和鲨鱼以及其他内容的书籍链接，这些链接都在本集的节目笔记中。

There's a link to his page on Amazon that has all of his books about happiness and the shark and everything else, and, that's in the show notes for this episode.

谢谢你来到这里，大卫。

Thanks for being here, David.

我的荣幸。

My pleasure.

圣诞节是我一年中最喜欢的时节之一，显然，对很多人来说也是如此，因为圣诞节在美国和其他国家都是大事，尽管我们庆祝的方式各不相同。

Christmas is one of my favorite times of year, and clearly, it is for a lot of people because Christmas is a big deal here in The US and in other countries as well, Although we all have different ways of celebrating it.

对于那些庆祝圣诞节的人来说，关于这个节日的由来以及我们为何以这种方式庆祝，可能会让你感到惊讶。

For those people who celebrate Christmas, there are some things about where this holiday comes from and why we celebrate it the way we do that may surprise you.

你即将听到的一些内容，我猜你以前从未听说过。

And some of what you're about to hear, I suspect you have never heard before.

布鲁斯·福布斯是爱荷华州苏城莫宁赛德学院的宗教研究教授，他写了一本引人入胜的书，名为《圣诞节：坦诚的历史》。

Bruce Forbes is a professor of religious studies at Morningside College in Sioux City, Iowa, and he's author of a fascinating book called Christmas, a candid history.

嗨，布鲁斯。

Hi, Bruce.

欢迎。

Welcome.

很高兴能和你们在一起。

It's a pleasure to be with you.

谢谢。

Thanks.

从这本书来看，我理解你对这个节日有着浓厚的兴趣，不仅限于宗教层面，还包括圣诞节的各个方面——我们如何庆祝它、为什么这样庆祝，以及它的起源。

So I take it from this book that you have a real interest in this holiday, not just the religious part of the holiday, but all aspects of Christmas and how we celebrate it and why we celebrate it and where it came from.

那么，当你进行这些研究时，最让你感到惊讶的是什么？

So when you did all this research, what was most surprising to you?

其中一个让我意识到，我们所认为的圣诞节中，有很大一部分实际上是冬季庆典的典型特征，并不特别与耶稣有关。

One is to realize that a huge amount of what we consider Christmas is really typical of winter celebrations and doesn't especially have to do with Jesus.

第二个让我感到惊讶的是，早期的基督徒并没有举行庆祝耶稣诞生的年度活动。

The second big surprise for me is that the earliest Christians did not have an annual celebration about the birth of Jesus.

他们花了两到三百年的时间专注于耶稣的受难与复活，直到宗教发展约三百年后，他们才最终决定举办一个年度庆典来纪念耶稣的诞生。

They focused for two to three hundred years on the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus, and it's only, yeah, three hundred years or so into the religion that they finally decide, let's have an annual celebration for the birth about the birth of Jesus.

他们把圣诞节安排在了欧洲各地早已存在的冬至庆典中间。

And they put it right in the middle of preexisting midwinter parties that all kinds of cultures had in especially in Europe.

是的，圣诞节确实与耶稣有关，但基督徒花了相当长的时间才决定要庆祝它。

So, yes, it's about Jesus, but Christians took a while to decide to do it.

圣诞节是什么时候开始变成我们今天所认识的样子的？

When did Christmas start to look like what we consider Christmas now?

这个过程其实是一个缓慢的演变。

You know, there's kind of a slow evolution along the way.

我认为我们现在所理解的圣诞节——以家庭为中心、强调慷慨——主要是十九世纪及更近时期才形成的。

I would say the way we look at Christmas now, family centered, about generosity, a lot of the other things, it's really a product of the eighteen hundreds and more recent.

十九世纪是人们谈论维多利亚式圣诞节的时期，因为整个世纪里，维多利亚女王一直在位。

And the eighteen hundreds is the period you hear people talk about the Victorian Christmas because pretty much through that century, Queen Victoria was queen in England.

更早之前，清教徒曾试图废除圣诞节，理由是早期基督徒并不庆祝它。

There's a longer story about earlier Puritans tried to get rid of Christmas because they said early Christians didn't do it.

他们是对的。

They were right.

因此，清教徒曾一度在英格兰和美洲殖民地禁止庆祝圣诞节。

So Puritans discouraged Christmas in England and in the American colonies for a while.

而将圣诞节重新带回并赋予其与我们今天所知相似形式的人，是查尔斯·狄更斯和他的故事《圣诞颂歌》，还有维多利亚女王和阿尔伯特亲王，他们围坐在一棵圣诞树旁，全家团聚。

And then the people who brought it back and what they brought back is something very much like our Christmas today is Charles Dickens with his story Christmas Carol and Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, and they're having a Christmas tree and the family gathered around it.

我们现在所做的许多事情都源于十九世纪，并延续至今。

A lot of what we do now comes out of the eighteen hundreds and we continues today.

我们一路上不断增加的，是越来越多的礼物。

What we've added is more and more presents all along the way.

对。

Right.

在《圣诞颂歌》这个关于斯克鲁奇、雅各布·马利等人的故事中，他是创造了圣诞节，还是反映了当时真实发生的事情？

So in the in the story A Christmas Carol about Scrooge and Jacob Marley and all those people, was he creating a Christmas or was he reflecting what was really going on?

是的。

Yeah.

非常好的问题。

Excellent question.

因为当我看过或读过这个故事时，我以为狄更斯是在告诉我们那个时代圣诞节是什么样子，但事实并非如此。

Because when I, you know, when I've ever seen it or read it, I thought that Dickens was telling us kind of what Christmas was like at that time, and that's not the case.

圣诞节曾被禁止，而狄更斯希望复兴它。

Christmas had been discouraged and Dickens wanted to revive it.

所以你必须说，他复兴了圣诞节，或者帮助重新塑造了圣诞节。

So you would have to say he revives Christmas or helps reinvent Christmas.

例如，斯克鲁奇这个角色起初是个非常消极的人物，直到他的内心发生转变，他代表了当时许多人的态度——是的，每个人在圣诞节那天都要工作，你不该做这些其他事情。

For instance, Scrooge who is such a negative figure until his heart has changed, he represents a lot of the people of the time who yes everybody worked on Christmas Day and you weren't supposed to do these other things.

查尔斯·狄更斯希望复兴圣诞节，因此他通过这个故事成为了一位非常成功的倡导者。

Charles Dickens wanted to bring it back, and so he's an advocate with this story, very successful advocate.

这不是很有趣吗？

Isn't that interesting?

因为当我观看这部电影时——我非常喜欢那部由阿莱斯特·西姆饰演斯克鲁奇的电影。

Because when I watched the movie, and I love the movie, the one with Alastair Sim in it as Scrooge.

哦。

Oh.

当你看到他们装饰圣诞树、吃晚餐等等，我原本以为那就是当时人们的生活方式，而不是他试图创造和推广这种生活方式，以为他只是在反映它。

When you see them, you know, decorating the tree and you know, having their dinner and all that, I just assumed that that was what life was like then, not that he was trying to create and encourage that life, that he was reflecting it.

你是在说，情况未必如此。

And you're saying not not necessarily so.

未必如此。

Not necessarily.

学者们称之为一种传统，因为一旦它流行起来，我们就以为它一直就是这样。

And, scholars call this an an tradition because as soon as it takes off, we think it's always been that way.

对。

Right.

事实上，他帮助重新塑造了它。

And in fact, he helps reinvent it.

这里有一个有趣的细节是，由于清教徒的反对，当时的普遍做法是人们应该在圣诞节当天工作。

One interesting tidbit here is, I mean, because the norm was with the Puritan discouragement, people should be working on Christmas Day.

这不应该是假期。

This should not be a holiday.

你会注意到，在《圣诞颂歌》的故事中，当斯克鲁奇第二天早上醒来，内心已经改变，他兴奋地打开窗户，问街上那个男孩今天是几号？

You'll notice that even in the Christmas Carol story when Scrooge wakes up the next morning and his heart has changed and he float, you know, throws open the window and asks the boy in the street, what what day is it?

男孩回答说：圣诞节。

And he says Christmas.

太好了。

Oh, good.

我没忘记。

I haven't forgot.

我没错过它。

I haven't missed it.

然后他做了什么？

And then what does he do?

他让那个男孩去买一只鹅或火鸡，给小蒂姆的家人送一只鸟。

He sends the boy to get a goose or turkey to get a bird for Tiny Tim's family.

对吧？

Right?

这意味着商店是开着的，那里

Which means the store was open where

对。

Right.

对。

Right.

是的。

Yeah.

我从来没有想过这一点，但你说得对。

I have never thought about that, but you're right.

是的。

Yeah.

所以他正试图改变这种情况，这就是为什么他想让斯克鲁奇成为反派，并让他改变想法，因为他希望文化能以这种方式转变。

So he's he's trying to get that changed, and that's why he wants Scrooge to be a villain and to have his mind changed because he wants the culture to change in that way.

那么，是谁最先提出的想法，说咱们出去砍棵树带回家吧？

So when did we who whose idea was it to say, hey, let's go out and chop a tree down and bring it in the house?

我认为圣诞树的传统主要起源于德国，始于15世纪和16世纪。

Well, I think the Christmas tree tradition is probably mostly German, starts in the fifteen hundreds and sixteen hundreds.

但回到我之前提到的关于冬至节日中那些可预测元素的观点。

But back to my the point I made earlier about predictable things in midwinter festivals.

早在耶稣诞生之前，冬至节日通常都会使用蜡烛和燃烧的木柴来驱散冬日的黑暗，也通常会使用常青植物，因为常青植物看起来是在其他一切植物都枯萎时依然存活的生命象征。

Midwinter festivals long before Jesus walked the earth, they usually had candles and burning logs of light to push back the darkness of winter and they usually had evergreens because it looks like evergreens are something that stays alive when it looks like everything else has died.

因此，常青植物早已是这些冬至庆典的一部分，但将整棵树带入家中的习俗则源自德国传统，后来通过维多利亚女王在英国流行起来，并因这种流行而传入美国。

And so the evergreens had been part of these midwinter celebrations for a long time but the tree comes out of German tradition and it then through Queen Victoria gets very popular in England and through that popularity gets very popular in The United States.

它从德国传到英国的原因是，我对英国王室的全部谱系也不太清楚，但我知道这一点。

The reason it goes from Germany to England is that I don't know all the English royalty I get you know confused about this but I've learned this.

我的意思是，维多利亚女王属于汉诺威王朝，而汉诺威王朝具有德国背景。

I mean the Queen Victoria is part of the house of Hanover and the house of Hanover is of German background.

所以像维多利亚女王这样的人会嫁给来自德国的配偶，也就是阿尔伯特亲王，你猜怎么着？

So those people like Queen Victoria would marry a spouse from Germany who is prince Albert, and guess what?

他把圣诞树从自己的传统中带了出来，并且它成为了温莎城堡的一部分。

He brings a Christmas tree out of his tradition, and it's part of Windsor Castle.

人们喜爱维多利亚女王。

People love queen Victoria.

每个人都想效仿这个家族的做法，于是就这样开始了。

Everybody wants to do what that family does, and off we go.

美国人对圣诞节做出了哪些改变？

What mark did Americans make on Christmas?

我们是如何改变它的？

How have we changed it?

我认为其中一个重要的变化是圣诞老人的演变。

Well, I think one of the big ones is the evolution of Santa Claus.

因为这对我来说是一个非常有趣的故事。

Because if you and that's one of the fascinating stories for me.

如果你追溯圣诞老人的根源，它实际上源于圣尼古拉斯的传统，当然早期我们已经把这些形象混为一谈了，比如圣尼克等等。

If you talk about the roots of Santa Claus it's really rooted in traditions about Saint Nicholas and of course early on you know we've made these interchangeable now Saint Nick etcetera.

但早期教会和中世纪时期有许多关于圣尼古拉的传统，他是一位送礼者和保护者，但他是一位主教，他的生日——确切地说是他的忌日——人们庆祝圣尼古拉节的日子是12月6日，这并非圣诞节，但属于圣诞节前的时期。

But there are all these traditions from the early church and then through the Middle Ages about Saint Nicholas who's a gift giver and a protector, but he's a bishop and his birthday well, his death day, the day that they would celebrate St.

圣尼古拉节在12月6日，虽然不是圣诞节，但属于圣诞节前的时段。

Nicholas Day would be December 6 which is not exactly Christmas but it's in the period leading up to it.

当这些关于圣尼古拉的传统传到美国时，这并不是一个简单的转变，我在这一章中对此有详细说明。

When those traditions about St.

圣尼古拉传到美国后，并非一次简单的转变，我在这一章中对此有六个阶段的详细描述。

Nicholas come over to The United States it's not one simple shift in the chapter I have about this.

我列出了六个阶段，六个不同的人各自贡献了一些元素，逐渐将圣尼古拉塑造成了我们现在所熟知的圣诞老人形象。

I have six stages where six different people contribute things that slowly morph Saint Nicholas into what we now see as Santa Claus.

这其中包括华盛顿·欧文的创作，就是那位写过《瑞普·凡·温克尔》的同一作者。

And that includes some writing by Washington Irving, you know, the same guy who did Rip Van Winkle and so on.

他笔下的圣尼古拉骑着一辆由马牵引的雪橇飞越天空，穿着灯笼裤，这可不是主教的长袍。

He's got Saint Nicholas riding through the sky in a sleigh pulled by a horse wearing knickers, which is not a bishop's robe.

后来，那首我们熟知的《圣诞前夜》著名诗篇，其故事脉络和我们刚才谈到的狄更斯作品如出一辙。

And later, the famous poem that you and I know about the night before Christmas, that's the same kind of story as what we just said about Dickens.

这首诗并不反映当时人们对圣尼古拉的看法。

That poem is does not reflect what people thought about Saint Nick at the time.

他是在创造一种新的东西。

He's creating something.

首先，故事发生在圣诞前夜，而不是圣尼古拉日。

First of all, it happens on Christmas Eve, not Saint Nicholas Day.

其次，我们有了整整一群被命名的驯鹿。

Secondly, we've got a whole bunch of reindeer who get names.

这些正是我们现在所熟知的圣诞传统。

A whole bunch of what we think about, know, this is the Christmas tradition now.

事实上，这首诗的作者推动了这种转变。

In fact, the author of that poem helped shift things.

但这里有一个很大的惊喜：如果你现在买一本包含这首诗的儿童故事书，我们会知道书中的圣诞老人形象。

A big surprise here by the way is I know if you buy a children's storybook with that poem now, we know the image of Santa Claus who's in there.

但在这一阶段的演变过程中，如果你仔细阅读诗的原文，他还不是全尺寸的样子。

If you read the words of the poem at that point in the morphing, he's not full sized yet.