电量耗尽：我们是否做得太多了？

他就说，那你可以自己选。

And he's like, well, then you could pick.

你是想去坐船，还是不想去？我觉得这些小小的筛选机制，还有把内心优先级设定好来过滤各种决定，自然而然就能帮上忙。

Do you wanna go on the cruise, do wanna so I think that those little filters and just having kind of those, yeah, those inner priorities set to filter those decisions through, I think, naturally help.

不过对我来说，我觉得人一旦动起来，就会一直动下去。

But then I think as far as like, for me, like, an object in motion stays in motion.

所以我做得越多，我就越想继续做。

So the more I'm doing, the more I wanna do.

然后我的身体会出现一些反应，比如头痛、特别累，或者出现这些信号。

And then my body will I'll get a headache or I'll be really tired or I have these signs.

我的身体在告诉我，你需要慢下来。

My body is telling me you need to slow down.

所以我也试着去倾听这些身体的反馈。

And so I try to listen to those as well.

对。

Yeah.

我觉得你刚才说的过程中最重要的一点是，你在没有压力的时候去思考那些需要处理的事情。

I think the most important thing you just said that in in your process was that you think about things through that are gonna be need to be managed while you're not in stress.

因为我觉得很多时候，Ashley，如果我说的不对你纠正我，你作为有小孩的妈妈可能更有发言权，我们往往在压力大的时候做决定，然后做的决定不一定是最好的。

Because I think what happens a lot, Ashley, correct me if I'm wrong, and you can speak to this more as a mom with younger children, is we make those decisions while we're stressed, and then the decisions that we make aren't necessarily the best ones.

那些决定只是当时拼凑出来的，但你知道，长期来看对我们并不好。

They're what we put together in that moment, but they're not you know, the the long term outcome is not gonna be beneficial to us.

完全同意。

Absolutely.

而且当你压力很大的时候，你很难分辨，这个重要还是不重要？

And when you're in high stress, it's hard to know, is this important or is this not?

所以我觉得，是的，就像你刚才说的，这确实有助于建立某种控制感，或者说某种公平的环境，来理清这些事情。

So I think, yeah, exactly what you were just saying that, yeah, it helps just create some sort of control or some sort of, I guess, level playing field to to figure those things out.

Keira，你随着年龄增长，在跑步方面取得了非凡的成就，这真的很酷。

Keira, you have like, you've done exceptional things with running as you have gotten older, like, which is so cool.

而且我知道，正因为如此，你是很多女性的榜样。

And I know you're a role model for so many women because of that.

我挺好奇的，你觉得这种状态是从哪儿来的呢？

And I'm just curious if like, do you think kind of like where that came from?

我在想是不是有两方面的原因。

And I'm wondering if it's two things.

第一点，你本身精力特别旺盛，所以你的训练能力一直都很强，而且以后也会保持在这个高水平。

If it's one, like, you are someone with an enormous amount of energy and so your capacity to train is still really high, like, is high and will continue to be high because of that.

第二点，你好像掌握了调节自己状态的窍门，做决定时很有分寸，这应该是你随着年龄增长慢慢学会的。

And then two, you kind of learned how to hack your system, have really good decision making filters, and that's something that you learned as you got older.

也许你早点开始，比如年轻的时候就练过。

Whereas maybe if you would have those when you were earlier, like when you were younger.

你明白我的意思吧？

Do you know what I'm saying?

说不定这还让你年纪越大跑得越快呢。

Like, if that somehow has contributed to you being faster as you're getting older.

绝对是。

100%.

我觉得对我来说，十几岁和二十几岁的时候跑步，和现在跑步的原因完全不一样。

And I think for me, like, running in my teens and my twenties, I was running for a different set of why reasons than I am now.

所以在我十几岁和二十几岁的时候，我很喜欢比赛。

And so in my teens and twenties, like, love competing.

我想跑得快。

I wanted to be fast.

我想要奖杯。

I wanted trophies.

我想要六块腹肌，我跑步就是为了这些结果，或者说为了结果而跑。

I wanted six like, I was competing for all the outcomes of running or running for the outcomes.

然后到了三十多岁，重新把跑步带回生活里，是为了其他所有的原因。

And then putting running back into my life in my mid thirties, it was for all the other reasons.

那是为了我自己。

It was for me.

就像，我当时正经历一段非常艰难的时期，跟家庭有关。

It was like, I was going through a really hard time just with my family.

比如，我的前夫经常被派驻外地，我当时真的很孤独。

Like, my now ex husband, he was deployed a lot, and I was really lonely.

我真的很挣扎。

I was really struggling.

我需要跑步，以一种完全不同的方式，和我以前需要的完全不一样。

I I needed running for in a different totally different way than I've ever needed it.

我需要它来让自己感觉好一些。

I needed it for me to feel good about myself.

我需要出去独自做点什么，而不是作为一个带着一个零岁和一个一岁孩子的妈妈。

I needed to get out there and do something alone, just not as a mom with a zero and a one year old.

然后我需要找到社群。

And then I needed to find community.

所以我觉得，现在带着一个零岁和一个一岁孩子，我的跑步理由和以前不一样了。

And so I feel like I have different whys now with a zero and a one year old than I had before.

而且我觉得这些理由更深刻、更重要，感觉更像是一份礼物，而不是一件必须去做的家务，不是那种今天必须出去跑个步的感觉。

And I think they're so much deeper and so much more important, and it feels more like a gift than it does feel like a chore, something I have to go out for a run today.

能出去跑步，我真的觉得很感恩。

I feel very grateful to go out.

然后我觉得就是找到社群。

And then I think finding community.

我当时在一个新城市，很孤独。

I was in a new town, and I was lonely.

所以我觉得找到一群能一起跑步、聊天、聊聊孩子故事的女性朋友，真的让我把跑步刻进了灵魂里。

And so I think finding a group of females that I could run with and chat with and, like, you know, tell stories about my kids, it like, that really cemented, like, running onto my soul, I guess.

所以我需要跑步的方式完全不一样了。

So I I needed it in a much different way.

我觉得我这段旅程最特别的地方在于，我从来没想过要回来看看自己跑得多快。

And I think the really special thing about my journey is then like, it was never my intention to come back and find out how fast.

我是在寻找自己是谁。

I was trying to find out who I was.

比如，我能坚持下来吗？

Like, could I grind?

我能从中获得自信吗？

Could I gain confidence from this?

我能找到归属感吗？

Could I gain community?

我跑步是为了其他所有原因。

I was running for all the other reasons.

然后当我跑得快了，我的故事开始传开，我开始和女性，尤其是妈妈们，建立更深层次的联系，这比我在本地比赛中的经历要深刻得多。

And then when I got fast and my story started circling around, I started connecting, especially with women and especially with mothers on this level so much deeper than, like, my time was in the local race.

然后我开始不只是为自己跑，而是为了一个目标跑，这对我来说更有力量。

And then I started instead of running just for me, I was running for a wee, and that was so much more powerful for me.

我觉得在比赛中，很容易放弃自己。

And I think, like, in a race, it's easy to give up on yourself.

但当我想到我是为了所有有小孩的妈妈们而跑，那真的是一个强大的动力，让我们看到自己能做到什么。

But when I thought I was doing it for all women with young kids, then that was a really powerful motivator to show us all what we're capable of.

我觉得这真的帮了我很多，让我能回来，有这种，怎么说呢，有点疯狂的冲动，想要回来，回来。

And I think that has really, really helped me just, I don't know, come back and have this, I don't know, really little crazy don't call to come back, come back.

而且我跑得越多，我在生活中总体上就越开心。

And the more that I was running, the happier I was just in life in general.

我觉得我对孩子们更有耐心了，因为我出去为自己做了点事。

I felt like I had more patience with my kids because I had gone out and done something for myself.

而且我觉得有了那些内啡肽，还有那种释放的感觉，我就觉得自己真的能彻底放松，并且非常专注地陪伴他们。

And I think just having those endorphins and, like, having that release, then I felt like I could really truly relax and be super present.

那也是一件很美好的事情。

And then and that was a beautiful thing too.

所以，我跑得越多，我就越开心。

But so the more I was running, the happier I was getting.

然后，我跑步越开心，我就越想跑。

And then the happier I was with running, the more I wanted to do it.

然后我跑得越多，速度就越快，这也特别有意思。

And then the more I was doing it, the, like, the faster I got, which was also really fun.

这就像是我生活中一个美好的循环，你知道吗。

It was this beautiful, cyclic, I don't know, thing to have in my life.

你提到你和很多女性建立了联系，我很喜欢这种为了健康而跑步的理念。

You said you connected with lots of women, and I love this idea of running for a wee.

你在向其他女性展示，你们也能做到这一点，我们可以一起努力。

Like, you're showing other women that you can do this, like, we can do this together.

我也有过类似的时刻，看到像你以及其他女性在带着小孩的同时依然坚持高强度跑步，我觉得很棒。

I've I've had similar moments where I have seen, you know, like other women, yourself included, who are running hard with little kids and feeling like, okay.

真的，她们能走出家门去运动。

Like, I can get out the door.

我也能做到。

I can do this too.

所以我真的很感激这一点。

So I very much, like, appreciate that.

我挺好奇的，你从其他女性那里听到过她们在努力平衡各种事情时的感受吗？你有没有注意到很多女性总是过度付出、承担太多压力的这种普遍现象？你自己有过类似的经历吗？

And I'm curious if like, you've heard from other women how they feel just like, trying to balance all of these things and, like, if you're noticing this pattern of women just chronically overdoing it and holding on to too much, like, is that something you've experienced?

作为这项运动的榜样，针对这种情况，你有什么建议可以给到大家呢？

And as a role model in this sport, like, of, like, what advice have you kind of had for people related to that?

对。

Yeah.

我们经常看到这种情况。

We see this all the time.

我觉得我们女性给自己施加了额外的压力，但社会也给我们施加了额外的压力。

And I think we, as women, put extra sets of pressure on us, but I think also society has put it extra has put extra pressure on us.

这就是我写这本书的原因。

And I think that is why I wrote my book.

虽然这本书是关于跑步的，但我觉得它更像是一个母亲寻找自己方式的旅程，一种对我来说真正重要、真实和真诚的方式，同时也给其他女性许可，让她们按照自己的方式去做。

Like, as much as the book is about running, I think the book is even more so a journey of a mother trying to figure out how to do it my way in a way that feels really important and genuine and authentic to me and and give other women permission to do it their way.

实际上，我觉得这本书的核心不是如何跑马拉松。

Like, I think, actually, if there's one thing that my book was about, it's not how to run marathon.

而是如何过一种真实的生活，以及运动如何成为其中的一部分，真正帮助你提升和进步，无论你处于什么阶段。

It's how to live an authentic life and and how to how movement can be part of that and really help, like, elevate and level up just like where you are.

所以我觉得这可能是这本书更深层的主题。

So I think that that is probably the deeper theme of my book.

我遇到过很多读过这本书的女性，其中有些人见到我时都感动得哭了。

And I've met a lot of women that have read the book, and they've some have come up to me in tears.

我非常清楚她们为什么哭，因为正如你刚才所说的那样。

And I know exactly why they're crying because that's Ashley, it's just what you just said.

那就是在平衡母亲的重担、寻找自我身份认同、渴望拥有属于自己的东西，同时又要兼顾家庭，还要面对内疚感，把这一切都协调好。

It's trying to balance the load of motherhood and figuring out self identity and wanting something for yourself and, like, being part of family and feeling guilt and balancing everything.

这其中的压力真的很大，我是说，所有的父母都要承担这些，但尤其是女性。

It's like, there's a lot that I mean, parents in general, but especially women carry.

所以每当有人哭着跟我聊的时候，我心里大概就猜到，他们共鸣最深的部分，应该就是那个‘母亲的重担’吧。

So when people come up in tears, like, I just assume in my head that is the part of the book that they've connected with is just the low the motherhood motherhood load, I guess.

母职重担。

The motherload.

这说法挺妙的，之前有人用过吗？

That's a great is that a thing already?

要是没人用过的话，这个概念真该火起来，就是‘母职重担’。

If not, that should be a thing, the mother lode.

我的意思是，这完全说到点子上了。

I mean, that that is the that is the exact you've hitting the nail on the head.

就像，我们都在努力做到这一点。

Like, we're all trying to do it.

我不应该说所有人，但很多女性都在努力做到，而且想做好。

I shouldn't say all, but many women are trying to do it, trying to do it well.

然后，你知道，无论她们热爱什么，比如你热爱跑步，我和Ashley也热爱跑步。

And then there's you know, in whatever passion they have, in in your case, running, in my case, in Ashley's case, running.

但不管人们热爱的是什么，总会有一种‘我也能做到吗？’的感觉。

But whatever it is people love, there's almost this, like, can I do this too?

我怎么能做到这些，同时又不牺牲其他方面，确保所有细节都处理得妥妥当当呢？

And how do I do this without sacrificing being good at all the other stuff and making sure I cross those t's and dot those i's?

我觉得，我和Ashley刚才也聊到过这一点。

And I think and Ashley and I were just talking about this a little bit.

这里面会有一点点内疚感，就像‘好吧’那样。

There's a little element of guilt of, like, okay.

嗯，我得确保孩子们都安排好了，工作也安排好了，然后希望我的训练也能安排妥当。

Well, I need to make sure my kids are dialed in and my job's dialed in, and then hopefully my training gets dialed in.

但如果没做到，那是我自己的问题，因为你知道，我没办法把所有事情都做完。

But if it doesn't, that's on me because, you know, I can't can't get it all done.

我觉得我会说不。

And I think I would say no to that.

我会说，你也许能做到，但可能需要换一种方式。

I would say you probably can, but you maybe have to do it differently.

对。

Yeah.

所以在我书里，有一整章是关于无愧疚感的，你刚才说的正是我讲的内容，就是当我们的日程排满时，很容易把属于自己的事情挤掉，这让我们感觉更愧疚。

So there's in my book, there's a full chapter on non guilt and Trax, you just exactly, it's what I talk about too, that how it's so easy to, when our day gets full, kick out the stuff for ourselves, and that makes us feel the less guilty.

但我真的鼓励大家，当我把事情安排进一天时，我会按重要性排序，尽量让一天充满对我来说也很重要的事情。

But I really encourage like, when I'm putting things into my day, I put it in order of importance, and I try to fill my day hopefully with, you know, I don't know, something that feels also important to me.

但我也意识到，我必须对重要的事情非常坚定和固执，并且承认这一点。

But I've realized too that, like, I had to be really rigid and stubborn with the things that were important to me and acknowledge that.

但我也得在时间安排上保持灵活。

But I also had to be really flexible with when that would happen.

所以当我开始想明天要做些什么的时候，我会先想想，好吧。

So when I started thinking about what am I gonna do tomorrow, I think, okay.

我打算试着跑个三十分钟到一小时。

I'm gonna try to run for thirty minutes to an hour.

这已经不是‘能不能做到’的问题了。

And it wasn't a if that would happen.

那是在某个时刻。

It was a when.

我能不能把这件事搞定？

Am I gonna get that done?

所以如果我看明天的日程，从孩子起床到把他们哄睡，这段时间我都排满了，我就会想，那我得在他们醒之前就起来。

So if I'm looking at my day tomorrow and my day is full from when the moment when the kids get up till when I put them to bed, I'm thinking, well, I'm gonna get up before they get up.

所以我学会了既非常固执，又保持足够的灵活。

So I learned to be super stubborn, but also really flexible.

所以，这些就变成了我明天必须跑，但具体什么时候跑，我可以很灵活。

So, like, those it became like a nonnegotiable if I was gonna run tomorrow, but I was really flexible on when.

我觉得正是这种灵活性让我能坚持下去，不会崩溃。

And I think that that allowed me that bend allowed me to not break.

有意思的是，我觉得你听到固执和灵活，会觉得它们是矛盾的。

It's funny because it I I feel like you hear stubborn and flexible, and you're you think they go against each other.

我不知道，你可能会想，我很固执，我要按自己的方式来。

I I don't know when you like, I think you're like, well, I'm very stubborn, and I'm gonna do it my way.

所以我就不能灵活了。

So then I can't be flexible.

但有趣的是，它们其实可以共存，而且共存很重要，这就是它的运作方式。

And I think what it's interesting is they they can go together, and it's important that they go together, but that's how it works.

你可以固执地完成事情，但必须用适合自己的方式，这个观点很棒。

You can be stubborn and get things done, but you have to do it in the way that works for you, which is a great perspective.

嗯，我觉得这几乎就像——我不想说超级英雄的能力——但我真的很擅长同时接受两个相反的东西。

Well and I think that's almost like I don't wanna say superhero power, but that's something that I've become really good at is being comfortable holding on to two opposite things at the same time.

我想问你一个完全出乎意料的问题。

I wanna ask you a complete curveball question.

就是你之前提到的，跑得越多，感觉越好，跑得越多，速度越快，就像是一个快乐的循环。

And that is something you mentioned earlier about, like, the more you ran, the better you felt, the more you ran, like, the faster you got, and it was sort of this joy loop.

你非常喜欢跑步。

Like, you love it so much.

我想这确实帮助你集中了注意力。

And that really helped to narrow your focus, I imagine.

比如，好的。

Like, okay.

我看到进步了。

I'm seeing improvements here.

我在变得更好。

I'm getting better.

好的。

Okay.

我能不能把那些事情稍微放一放，因为我可以更专注于这个领域？

I can I can sort of shave away these things because I can focus more on this area?

所以自然而然地，可以说你在跑步上变得更专业，有了成绩，这帮助你或者让你能够摆脱生活中的其他一些事情。

And so by nature, becoming more of an expert, we could say, in running, having success that that helped you or led you to be able to get rid of some other things in your life.

如果你仍然觉得跑步很有趣，你享受其中，但你没有取得这些成绩，没有成为现在这样的跑者，也没有达到现在的位置，那会怎么样？

What if you still had fun running, you were enjoying it, but you weren't having these results where you were becoming the runner that you've become and you weren't like getting to that place where you are.

这完全是假设性的。

Like, this is so hypothetical.

你觉得如果真是那样的话，跑步现在在你心里会占什么位置？

What do you think what place do you think running would hold for you now if that had been the case?

或者你觉得你的结果或者看法会有什么不同？

Or how do you think this outcome or perspective you had could have been different?

我觉得我对跑步的感觉还是一样的。

I think I think I would feel the same way about running.

只是我觉得我可能没有现在这样的平台来谈论跑步。

I just think I wouldn't have the platform to, like, talk about it in the way that I do now.

但今年早些时候，我做了髋关节手术。

But earlier this year, I had hip surgery.

这也是我这样回答的原因。

And this is why I'm answering this way.

所以我做了髋关节手术，还看了好几位不同的外科医生。

So I had hip surgery, and I saw a different a number of different surgeons.

有些医生甚至说，你以后再也别想跑步了。

And some of the surgeons were like, you're never gonna run again.

有些医生就说，也许你还能用这条腿跑步，但可能达不到以前的水平了。

And some of the surgeons were like, well, you'll maybe able to run on this hip, but maybe not at the level.

真正让我崩溃的是第一个跟我谈的医生，他说他不确定你是否还能恢复到那个跑步水平。

And what broke me like, the first surgeon that I talked to, and he was like, I'm not sure if you'll ever be able to run at this level.

我当时倒是挺平静的。

And I was okay.

我是说，虽然听着让人心碎，但我心里想，好吧，就这样吧。

Like, I I mean, that's heartbreaking, but I'm like, okay.

但他跟我说，我不确定你以后还能不能跑步，这句话真的把我击垮了。

But he's like, and I you know, I'm not sure if you'll ever run again, and that is what broke me.

我是真的很喜欢能参加比赛的感觉，也喜欢感受自己跑得多快，但对我来说，跑步这件事本身比速度重要得多。

So the like, I love being able to compete, and I love being able to see how fast I go, but running to me is so much more important than how fast.

所以就算我不再参加这些比赛、不再跑出那些成绩、不再站上领奖台或者拿奖牌、创纪录，我依然需要在生活中保持跑步，就像我需要它一样不可或缺。

And so even if I wasn't doing these races and running these times and being on a podium or, like, winning these medals, like, setting records, like, I would still need running in my life the way that I need it.

不过也很棒的是，那些领奖台和纪录让我结识了更多的人，这对我而言意义非凡。

But it has been cool because the podiums and the records have allowed me to connect with a lot more people, and that has been so, so special to me.

不过，是的，我依然觉得跑步在我生活中占据着同样的分量，哪怕我不再全职从事这项运动。

But, yeah, I would still like, the there's no doubt that running would hold the same weight in my life even if I wasn't doing it full time.

听起来这确实是你生活平衡中不可或缺的一部分，你必须把它保留下来。

Well, it sounds like it's part of what you're balancing, but it's an you have to have it in there.

它是你身份的一部分，如果没有这一环，你就不会成为现在的你。

It's part of it's it would be you wouldn't be the person who you are without that piece

缺了它就不行。

in it.

后来我找到了一位愿意做手术的医生，他的看法和其他人不太一样，他说可以只修复关节盂唇，而不是整个髋关节，这样就能固定住，我还能在这个水平上再比赛五年甚至十年以上。

And I found, like so when I I found a surgeon that was gonna do the surgery, and he had a different opinion than some of the others that we could fix the labrum rather than fixing the whole hip, and that that would hold it in place, and I'd be able to compete at this level for five, ten plus more years.

这对我来说简直是天籁之音。

So that was music to my ears.

但当我刚做完手术，大概两周后，我还没跑过步，我就意识到，我需要出去跑一跑来保持头脑清醒。

But when I first got the surgery and I took, like you know, maybe it was two weeks after, I haven't run for two weeks, I realized too, like, I needed to go out for a run for mental clarity.

我想见朋友，就是为了那种社区感。

Like, I wanted to meet my friends just for the community.

我最想念跑步的地方，就是它每天带来的减压效果。

Like, the things that I was missing the most about running was just the day to day benefits of running for stress relief.

跑步的时候，你会觉得很难受，但跑完之后你会感觉特别好，特别为自己骄傲，因为你坚持完成了一件很难的事情。

Running, like and you, like, feel terrible during it, and you feel so great and so proud of yourself that you pushed through something that was really hard.

所以一开始我最想念的，其实是那些除了比赛之外的所有东西。

So it was everything that wasn't racing too that I was missing the most at first.

我也很想念比赛，但我和跑步之间的连接，绝对比任何成绩都要深。

And I miss, I mean, I miss racing so much too, but I definitely I have a deeper connection with running than, yeah, just any result could ever hold.

这场对话真的很棒，Keira。

This has been a great conversation, Keira.

我觉得你给了我很多启发，尤其是关于如何做决定、什么时候做决定，以及我们该如何看待跑步这件事。我们要保持一种轻松的心态去对待它，别让它变成一种负担，而是把它当作快乐的源泉。因为我知道，对咱们所有人来说，跑步确实就是快乐的来源。

I feel like you've given I think you've given me a lot to think about, particularly as it relates to how we make decisions and when are the timing for making decisions and then how it's kind of like the weight that we give running and the attitude towards which we approach it so it doesn't become something that can be overwhelming, but it is this thing of joy because I know for all of us, it is that.

在我心里，跑步就像是一种粘合剂，把生活的方方面面串联起来，帮助我们找到自我。它对我们日常生活的重要性，以及它在训练目标之外所建立的彼此连接，都非常关键。

It's I'm sort of in my mind, I'm like, oh, it's like this glue that holds things together that helps us feel who we are, and it's so important to our everyday and our connections with each other outside of what we're training for.

而且，训练这个过程本身，真的非常重要，也特别有益处。

But, like, the act of training itself, like, is so important and beneficial.

在结束之前，我还想问你最后一个问题。

I wanna ask you one more thing just before we end.

如果听众只能带走一条建议，你最希望他们记住的是什么？

Like, if someone listening only takes away one nugget of wisdom from you, what would you want them to take away?

我觉得运动对幸福的生活有多重要这一点很关键。

I think just how important movement is in general in a happy life.

哪怕只是出去散个步、慢跑一下，或者随便做点喜欢的活动，只要坚持下来，都能帮你建立自信。

Like and I think just getting out even for a walk or a jog or a run walk or any movement of choice, I think, leads to like, in just holding yourself accountable for that builds confidence.

它能让你更快乐。

It makes you happier.

它还能帮助建立社群关系。

It can lead to building community.

运动带来的好处真的太多了。

There's so many good things rooted in movement.

不过，Trax，接着你刚才说的，我还会问家人：你们觉得我什么时候去跑步最合适？这样把主动权交给他们，感觉也挺好。

But, Trax, to add on what you were just saying too, I also would I would ask my family, like, when is it best for you all for me to run and have that so it's like I'm giving them control, which also helps.

所以，你日程里什么时候方便，我出去跑一个小时比较合适？

So, like, when would be best in your schedule for me to go out for an hour?

或者这个周末，我要进行一次两小时的长距离跑步。

Or this this weekend, I have a two hour long run.

你觉得哪一天对你来说最合适？

What day is best for you?

我觉得应该让他们参与到这个决策和规划过程中。我在这方面可能不太擅长，大概还是因为那股倔劲儿，让我总是直接冲出去就跑。但我认为，这也是让他们参与进来的一种方式——讨论的是‘什么时候’去跑，而不是‘要不要’去跑。

So I think involving them in that decision and the planning, which I'm not the best at probably because, again, that stubborn part, like, I just go out and do But I think that's another way too to have them part of that decision process for when, but not if.

然后把该做的事都做了。

And do all the things.

把该做的事都做了。

Do all the things.

不过要做那些你真正想做的事。

But do the things that you wanna do.

没错。

Right.

Stillrunning的赛季启动也得到了Altra的支持。

The launch season of stillrunning is also supported by Altra.

这次合作感觉特别自然，因为我平时经常穿Altra的鞋。

And this partnership feels really natural because I wear Altras a lot.

我喜欢它宽敞的鞋头设计，还有Altra标志性的那种贴合脚型的穿着感。

I love the roomy toe box and that natural foot shape fit that Altra is known for.

最近我特别喜欢Altra的体验系列，它保留了Altra特有的脚感，同时采用了非常低的四毫米前后落差。

Lately, I've been really into Altra's Experience line, which gives you that signature Altra feel with a really low four millimeter heel to toe drop.

所以你仍然感觉离地面很近。

So you still feel like you're really low to the ground.

感觉步态很自然，但有一点落差，这我真的很喜欢，尤其是产后恢复的时候。

It feels like you have a natural stride, but with a bit of an offset, which I've really really appreciated, especially coming back postpartum.

我丈夫最近也买了一双，他基本上所有跑步和徒步都在穿，非常喜欢。

My husband recently got a pair too, and he's been wearing them for basically all of his runs and hikes, and loves them.

所以无论你在哪里跑步，Altra 的鞋都是为了让你自然移动而设计的。

So wherever you're running, Altra make shoes built to move naturally with you.

访问 stillrunningpod 网站，点击 shop ultra，今天就找到你的下一双鞋。

Visit the stillrunningpod website and click on shop ultra to find your next pair today.

好的。

Alright.

我们刚刚听到凯拉·达马托的分享，她谈到要兼顾生活中的各种事情，但也要建立自己需要的支持系统来实现这一点。

So we just heard from Keira D'Amato who talks about juggling all the things in life but getting the support system she needs in place to make that happen.

她说自己会固执地完成任务，但同时也会保持灵活。

She talks about being stubborn about getting it done, but also being flexible at the same time.

她最大的收获是，她之前是为了训练而训练，但当她回来再次投入时，她是为了热爱这项运动而训练。

Her biggest takeaway is she was training to train and then when she came back to do it again, she was training for the love of the sport.

正因为如此，这件事在她日程中的位置和以前不一样了，因为它不再是一项任务。

And because of that, it fit into her agenda in a way that it hadn't before because it wasn't a task.

而是她所谓的“有机会去做”的事情。

It was something that she quote unquote got to do.

这是一种荣幸。

It was a privilege.

她愿意努力去实现它，因为她做这件事很开心。

And she wanted to make it work because she was happy to be doing it.

对吧？

Okay?

所以这些真的很重要。

So those those are really important.

我也这么觉得。

I think it is too.

在继续之前，我还想提另外两点。

And there's two other things I wanna bring up before we move on.

第一点就是，不管做什么，先动起来。

And one, the first one is this idea of like, whatever you do, just move.

这是她最后的感悟，我觉得特别重要，因为这又回到了那种坚持到底的劲头上。

Like, that was her final takeaway, which I think is is super important because that also goes back to the stubbornness.

要懂得变通，但要把自己放在第一位。

Like, be flexible, but prioritize yourself.

大家都知道运动有多重要。

And we all know movement is so important.

所有爱跑步、爱动起来的听众，都请尽量把运动安排进日程里。

And for everyone listening who loves to run and move, like prioritize movement in some way.

她提到的第二点，是跑步对她来说意味着融入社群，尤其是和其他女性一起。

And then the second piece she talked about was just how running is so much for her about being in community and community with other women.

我觉得有一个特别支持女性的环境，真的非常关键。

And I think having a really supportive space with women is huge.

就是女性之间互相支持。

Like women supporting women.

我最近跟一位朋友兼训练搭档聊过，今年冬天她在备战波士顿马拉松的时候，感觉压力特别大，有点手忙脚乱，觉得很难把各方面都兼顾好，既让自己满意又能取得好成绩。

I actually was talking recently to a friend and training partner who this winter during marathon training for Boston, she was feeling extremely overwhelmed and a little bit like she couldn't manage all the pieces in a way that was fulfilling to her and also successful.

所以我们俩一起琢磨，怎么在保持对自己有意义的前提下继续训练，同时又要讲究效率，毕竟不可能所有事情都做到完美。

And so the two of us picked apart how to keep doing what we're doing in a way that's meaningful to us, but in a way that is effective and knowing that all can't be perfect at the same time.

我现在特别好奇萨曼莎会怎么说。

I'm very curious now what Samantha has to say.

Samantha，你是一名室内设计师。

Samantha, you're an interior designer.

你是两个孩子的妈妈。

You're a mom of two.

你还是一名瑜伽老师。

You're a yoga teacher.

你也是一名马拉松跑者。

You're a marathon runner.

你什么都做，身兼数职，而且你一直是个非常忙碌、充满干劲的女性。

You're doing all the things, wearing all the hats, and you always were very busy athlete driven woman.

对吧？

Okay?

但你在39岁时有点觉醒了。

But you had a little bit of a, awakening at 39.

那跟我说说那个故事吧，当时你觉得一切都乱成一团，很难在混乱中找到自己。

So take me back to that story where you felt like everything was being thrown in the air and it was becoming very difficult to find yourself in all of that chaos.

是的。

Yeah.

我的意思是，我当时喜欢开玩笑说，我盘子里装的每件事都是我非常喜欢的。

I mean, everything I liked to joke at the time that everything on my plate was stuff that I absolutely loved.

我早上醒来去跑步，然后教瑜伽，接着直接去客户家，在车里吃午饭，然后准时去接孩子。

I would wake up in the morning and run and then teach yoga and go straight to a client's house and have lunch in the car and then be there on time to pick up my kids.

然后晚上还有孩子的活动，每一天都排得满满的，就像一场疯狂的俄罗斯方块游戏，每个单独的组件都很棒，但加起来就是每天直接对着消防水管喝水。

And, like, then there'd be an evening kid activity and every day was so full that it was this wild game of Tetris where each individual component was awesome, but it added up to me straight up drinking out of a fire hose every single day.

我挺难过的。

I feel sorry.

我得插一句，Trax，因为你刚才简直是在给我做干预。

I had to interject, Trax, because I feel like you've just set up an intervention for me.

我知道。

I know.

我是说，我觉得这次采访就是……

I mean, I think this interview is.

你确实承认每天都在拼命应付。

I mean, you are admittedly drinking out of a fire hose daily.

我就像，我39岁了。

I'm like, I'm 39.

对。

Yep.

萨曼莎，你描述的一切，我感觉我都有。

Everything you're describing, Samantha, is what I feel like I have.

我有两个小男孩。

I have two little boys.

所以，是的。

So Yes.

请继续说。

Please go on.

好的。

Yes.

那

What do

我今天需要向你学习什么？

I need to learn from you today?

对。

Yeah.

就接受吧。

Just take it.

请开始吧。

Take the floor.

确实。

Truly.

我的意思是，我的两个儿子现在一个七岁，一个八岁。

I mean, my boys are now seven and eight.

他们相差十九个月。

They're nineteen months apart.

所以那段时间我们就像在跑马拉松一样，持续了很长时间。

So it was we were in marathon season for a long time.

我觉得，任何有这种能力的运动员，说实话，甚至不只是运动员。

And I think as any athlete who has this capability and frankly, not even athletes.

这其实是所有女性的共性。

This is just women in general.

我们拥有惊人的耐力，而且有能力继续坚持下去。

Like, we have an absurd amount of endurance, and we have the capacity to keep going.

我觉得这需要停下来喘口气。

I think it requires taking a pause.

对我来说，反正我四十岁那年就意识到，天哪，我想让自己有些改变。

And for me, anyways, I knew when I turned 40, like, damn, I I wanted some things to change for myself.

我希望每天能有更多的空间，更多的快乐，更多的停顿，更多的连接。

I wanted there to be more spaciousness in my day, more joy, more pause, more connection.

在很多方面，这就像是我内心深处所坚信的一切，以及我和我的学生、我的瑜伽社群分享的一切，还有我在跑步时经常思考的一切，都变得一致了。

In many ways, it was like a coming into integrity of everything that I deeply believe in and share with my students and my yoga community and, certainly think about a lot when I'm running.

这确实需要，你知道，稍微踩踩刹车，把它当作一个项目来做。

And it took, you know, kind of pumping the brakes a bit and making like, taking it on as a project.

你最初是怎么编辑的，然后你决定保留什么，不保留什么？

How how did you first edit, and then what did you make the decision to keep or not to keep?

而且我敢肯定跑步在其中起了很大作用，所以快说说吧。

And I'm sure running played a big role in this, so do tell.

什么……

What the

我一直想把它提炼得简单易懂，方便分享和消化。

I've been trying to distill this in such a way where it's easy to share and digest.

但对我来说，这感觉还像个草稿。

But to me, oh, this is this feels like the rough draft.

所以我就随便说说，让它有点乱，这也是练习的一部分。

So I'll just kind of stumble my way through it and let it feel a little messy, which is which is part of the practice.

第一条规则，就是允许自己乱一点。

For rule number one, it's okay to get messy.

我觉得我们很多人，可能有点追求过度成就或者完美主义倾向，你得允许过程一开始有点乱。

And I think a lot of us, who, I don't know, have a tendency to overachieve or have some perfectionistic tendencies, like, you have to allow for the process to feel a little messy in the beginning.

你不可能每次都一击即中。

You're not gonna hit a home run everything.

如果你开始从日程里删掉一些事，开始委派别人，一开始肯定会磕磕绊绊的。

If you start taking stuff off your plate and start delegating, It's it's clunky in the beginning.

但每次我遇到那些消耗我精力、让我疲惫的事情时，我都会感到摩擦。我给你举个特别傻的例子。

But every time that I experienced friction around stuff that was depleting or draining my battery I'll give you a really silly example.

两个小男孩，我们尽量不在车里吃东西，因为他们会把车里弄得一团糟。

So two young boys, we try not to eat in the car because they just make a mess in the car.

对吧？

Right?

每次有东西洒出来或者什么的，就会说，纸巾在哪儿？

Every time there was, a spill or something, it's like, where are the napkins?

纸巾在哪儿？

Where are the napkins?

对。

Right.

每个妈妈都知道我在说什么。

Every mom knows what I'm talking about.

就像五级火警一样紧急。

Five alarm fire.

完全同意。

Totally.

我就是觉得，你之后还得收拾。

I just like You gotta clean it up later.

对吧？

Right?

但这样一来，你就是在给未来的自己制造麻烦。

But then you're creating this mess for, like, future you.

确实。

It's true.

让未来的你去收拾。

Future you to clean up.

所以我就想，未来的萨曼莎会怎么处理这个呢？

And so I'm like, oh, what would future Samantha like, how would she handle this?

她大概不会抓狂。

She'd probably she wouldn't freak out.

她不会对孩子大喊大叫。

She wouldn't yell at her kids.

她会非常淡定地拿出一个收纳袋，就是那种带拉链的袋子，大概八乘十一英寸的那种，然后直接从手套箱递到后座。

She would very, like, calmly grab a pouch, you know, those zippered pouches, like the eight by elevens, and just pass that from the glove compartment to the back seat.

给你。

Here you go.

现在你可以自己收拾烂摊子了。

You can clean up your own mess now.

作为妈妈，我的职责就是教你学会自己收拾烂摊子。

It's my job to teach you as a mom to clean up your own mess.

我可不想每次看到东西洒了，血压就跟着飙升，毕竟这种事迟早会发生。

I don't wanna, like, have a raise in blood pressure every time, you know, something spills, which it will.

这就像是为未来做准备，而且这种准备能反复让你受益。

It's it's like being prepared down the road in a way that serves you over and over and over again.

所以我亲切地把它叫做“主力精简法”，也就是理顺你日常生活中那些摩擦点，好让你的每一天都能留出空间，去体验你想要的氛围和感觉。

And so I lovingly call it the varsity edit, which is ironing out these points of friction in your current day to day life so that there is space for the activities and the the vibe and the feeling that you want your day to day to to feel like.

我可不想因为孩子打翻了什么东西就冲他们吼叫。

I don't wanna yell at my kids when they spill something.

天哪。

Damn.

那可不是我想当妈妈留下的印象。

That's not the legacy I want as a mom.

我觉得一天当中会有无数这样的例子，比如，哦，我得去店里买牛奶。

And I think there's thousands of examples like that over the course of one's day of, oh, I need to pick up milk at the store.

哦，我得做这个。

Oh, I need to do this.

哦，我得跑六英里。

Oh, I need to run six miles.

别忘了做冲刺，等等等等，然后为每件事都建立一些宽松的、宽松的体系。

Don't forget to do strides, blah blah blah, and creating systems for each thing loosely, loosely.

听起来我像个控制狂。

I sound like a control freak.

但嘿，如果我想确保有时间跟朋友跑步或者举铁，那好，你一周哪几天举铁？

But hey, if I wanna make sure that I have time to run with my friend or time to lift with my friend, okay, what days of the week are you lifting?

对。

Yeah.

你周四早上做这个。

You do it Thursday mornings.

太好了。

Awesome.

这在我的日程里安排得开。

That works in my schedule.

我会把它记进去。

I'm gonna plot that in there.

所以，是把那些让我充电的事情排进日程，而不是只让我耗电的事情。

And so it's putting the stuff on my schedule that fills my cup versus just drains my cup.

这就对了。

There you go.

正是这样。

That's exactly it.

而且这是倒推着来的。

And it's working back working backwards.

你喜欢什么，真的，你可以规划一下你希望一周是什么样的。

What do you like, literally, you could map out what do you want your week to look like.

对。

Yeah.

我想做一次长跑，还想搞个创意项目，实际上，可能就选一个吧。

I wanna do a long run and, like, a creative project on actually, probably just pick one.

我想周六早上长跑，周日下午留点时间搞创意。

I wanna do a long run on Saturday morning, and I want some time for creativity on Sunday afternoon.

搞定。

Boom.

完事。

Done.

把时间块留出来。

Block the time.

所以这一切都是为了让自己更有条理。

So you're this is all about getting organized.

就像是你那种结构化的方式。

Like, way that you're structured.

比如，这是我的目标，然后我会通过整理规划来实现它。

Like, here's my goal, and I'm gonna get organized.

这就是你让一切顺利推进的方式。因为你做事非常有条理且目的明确，所以你能够把自己安排得更紧凑，也许比平时能排更多的事情。

And that is the way that you're making it all happen and you're you're able to schedule yourself like, schedule more perhaps than you would otherwise because you're so organized and intentional about the way that you're doing it.

我觉得用‘刻意’这个词比较合适。确实需要一些规划，但 realistically（现实一点说），我们得留出灵活的空间，毕竟生活总会出其不意地给我们出难题。

I think I think the word intentional is what I would use here as and that, yes, there's some organization, but I think realistically, we have to allow for flexibility and, you know, just life is gonna throw curveballs at us.

不过你知道吗，很多处于中年阶段的女性都想多花点时间和朋友相处，但大家排期协调起来挺费劲的。

But, you know, my I think there's a lot of women who are midlife and they wanna spend more time with their friends and people are having a hard time scheduling with one another.

我在波士顿那群核心好友里，我就直接说了：你们知道吗？

My group of, like, core friends in Boston, I just said, you know what?

每个月七号，只要谁有空，咱们就聚一聚。

The seventh of every month, whoever's around, we're getting together.

就这样。

Period.

我们已经成功坚持了一年多，这让我们的友谊和关系更加深厚了。

And we have successfully done that now for over a year, and it has deepened our friendship, our relationships.

是的。

There's yeah.

说到这个我都起鸡皮疙瘩了，因为我觉得这真的很有意义。

It's giving me goosebumps talking about it because I think that there's really something to be said for yeah.

现在虽然很忙，但我不想说，等我五十岁再联系你吧。

It's a busy season, but I was unwilling to say, well, I'll I'll check-in with you when I'm 50.

希望那时候我们还是朋友。

I hope we're still friends then.

对。

Yeah.

我的天哪。

I mean, oh my gosh.

所以同样地，我有一群朋友，我们刚一起过了一个晚上，就像妈妈们的夜晚。

So similarly, a group of of my friends, like, we just did a night together, like a mom's night.

我们谁都没出去过好久了。

None of us have been out in forever.

你现在提醒了我，这次对话之后，我要发个后续消息，这样我们就能每个月都安排一次，因为一旦你出去做了，你就会发现，哦，其实真的有空间和时间来做这件事。

And you're reminding me right now, after this conversation, I'm gonna send a follow-up message so that we can schedule that for every single month because, like, once you get out and do it, you realize, oh, there actually is the space and time to do this thing.

但你之前觉得没有。

But you think that there is not.

你提醒了我，其实有很多自我关爱的空间，我们以为没有，因为很容易被日程的忙碌细节所淹没。

And you're reminding me, like, there is so much room for self care that we think isn't there because it's easy to get bogged down in the details of, like, all of the busyness of a schedule.

如果你有一个要点，或者一个东西，或者一句话，你觉得真的很有帮助，可以用来

If you had one takeaway or one thing or one phrase that you have found is really helpful to kind

重复，

of

来不断调整方法，比如按照你想要的方式生活，而不让它变得那么庞大或压倒性，或者你会用来帮助其他女性的话，那会是什么？

repeat, to continue to refine an approach, like leading life the way that you want to without it being so big and overwhelming or that you would use to help other women?

比如，会是什么呢？

Like, what would it be?

我觉得，我所真正钦佩的女性，是那些能够持续以强大而优雅的姿态出现，并为更广泛的社区做出贡献的人。

I mean, I think that the women I really admire are those that they continue to show up powerfully and gracefully and have something to contribute to their broader community.

我想到了约翰·贝努瓦·萨姆森。

I think of John Benoit Samuelson.

她们适应了变化，不断成长，并且始终与自己热爱的事物保持联系。

I they've adapted and evolved and stayed in relationship with what they love.

对我来说，这就是打持久战。

And to me that's the long game.

坚持下去。

Stay in it.

坚持下去。

Stay in it.

对。

Yeah.

谢谢你过来，Samantha。

Thanks for being here Samantha.

好的，Trax，我觉得我们从Keira D'Amato那里得到了很多有价值的见解。她作为一名职业跑者，谈到了固执、灵活，以及如何找到快乐和归属感。

Okay Trax, I feel like we have some really good nuggets of information both from Keira D'Amato as a professional runner talking about stubbornness and talking about flexibility and finding joy and community.

我很喜欢这一点。

I love that.

然后我们有Samantha，虽然她可能不是最突出的那个，但我一直回到这个关于有条理和编辑整理的思考上。

And then we have Samantha who isn't the best, the right takeaway, but I keep coming back to this place of like being organized and editing.

这些都挺好的。

And all of that is great.

但我总觉得，我就想要个专家。

But I can't help but feel like I just want an expert.

比如，我希望有个心理学家过来，直接告诉我该怎么做。

Like, I want a psychologist to come in and like tell me what to do.

对。

Yeah.

我同意你的看法。

I'm gonna agree with you.

我想问你一个诚实的问题。

I'm gonna ask you an honest question.

准备好了吗？

Ready?

当然。

Of course.

这是我们第二次录这段节目内容吗？

Is this the second time we've recorded this piece of our episode?

我不知道你在说什么。

I don't know what you're talking about.

这是我们第二次尝试录这段节目内容吗？

Is this our second attempt at this piece of this inner of this episode?

是的。

It is.

是的。

It is.

现在别说了。

Now stop.

好吧。

Okay.

你是不是不小心把第一次的删了？

Did you accidentally delete the first one?

可能吧。

I may have.

那你为什么要删？

And why did you do that?

说实话。

Be honest.

Trax，因为我动作太快了。

Trax, because I was moving too fast.

你确实太快了。

You were moving too fast.

好吧。

Okay.

咱们就把它公开吧。

Let's just have it out there.

已经公开了。

It's out there.

好的。

Okay.

已经公开了。

It's out there.

你看。

Look.

凯拉给我们分享了一些很好的建议，关于她是怎么做到这一切的。

Keira gave us some great tips on how she does it all.

她忙得团团转。

She juggles.

萨曼莎也分享了一些很好的建议，教我们怎么退一步重新整理。

Samantha great some great tips on how to pull back and reorganize.

但根据这几天的经验，我们的问题可能还需要解答。

But based on the last few days, our questions might still need to be answered.

我觉得请一个能给我们提供工具、帮我们真正落实这些流程的人，是个好主意。

And I feel like calling in someone who can provide tools for us to actually put these processes in place is a good idea.

好的。

Okay.

你说的每一点都完全正确。

Everything that you're saying is totally right.

我同意你，而且正因为这个原因，我找到了一个我们应该聊聊的人。

I am with you and I found someone that we should talk to for that very reason.

好的。

Okay.

她叫博士。

Her name is Doctor.

瑞秋，她的专长是专门针对高绩效女性的压力管理。

Rachel and her expertise is specifically stress management for high performing women.

她处理倦怠预防，并且做认知行为疗法，这是少数能真正带来持久行为改变的方法之一。

She deals with burnout prevention, and she does cognitive behavioral therapy, which is one of the only things that really create sustainable behavior change.

她还写了一本书叫《当生活发生》，我们会在节目笔记里附上链接。

She also wrote a book called When Life Happens, and we'll link to that in the show notes.

但她谈到的是那种忙碌文化，以及这种文化教我们放慢脚步是不好的。

But she talks about like hustle culture and this idea that it teaches us that slowing down is bad.

或者不好、或者软弱，或者诸如此类的。

So or bad or weak or all those types of things.

所以我觉得她是我们该找的人。

So I kinda think she's the person to talk to.

另外，深入了解后，我们发现她还是个跑步爱好者，这特别加分。

Also, deep dive, we found out she's a runner, which is extra special.

太好了。

Cool.

我们再多了解一些信息吧。

Let's get some more info.

好的。

Okay.

那我就直说了。

So I'm just gonna lay this out here.

这对我来说就像一次心理治疗，不管她知不知道。

Like, this is this is a therapy session for me whether she knows it or not.

这整期节目就是一次干预，是我替你决定的。

This whole episode's an intervention I've decided by you.

你

You

这可是你说的，亲爱的。

said it, honey.

我没说。

I did not.

好吧。

Okay.

而且你也确实从楼梯上摔下来了。

Well, you also did fall down the stairs.

所以，就像我……行吧。

So, like I okay.

当你做得太多的时候。

When you were doing too much.

好的。

Okay.

好的。

Okay.

我们来跟她谈谈吧。

Let's talk to her.

好的。

Okay.

好的。

Okay.

医生。

Doctor.

瑞秋，欢迎你。

Rachel, welcome.

我们非常高兴你能来。

We are so excited to have you on here.

非常感谢。

Thank you so much.

今天能和你在一起，我真的很激动。

I'm so thrilled to be here with you today.

好的。

Okay.

所以我想用你书里的一句话来开始今天的对话。

So I wanna start this conversation with a quote from your book.

你的书叫《当生活发生》，听众朋友们，我们会在节目笔记里放上链接。

So your book called When Life Happens, which for those listening, we're gonna link to in the show notes.

你写道，尽管我们这种拼命的文化告诉我们，慢下来是软弱或者不好的，但科学告诉我们不是这样。

You said even though our pervasive hustle culture has taught us that slowing down is weak or bad, science tells us otherwise.

慢下来通常能让我们更专注，还能防止过度疲劳。

Slowing down usually allows us better focus and prevents burnout.

我们可以把觉察当作一种工具。

We can reframe awareness as a tool.

好的。

Okay.

所以我想简单提一下这个，因为这正是我和Trax今天节目后面要聊的核心，就是很多女性，很多女性都跑得太快了。

So I wanted to share that briefly because this gets to the heart of what Trax and I have been talking about for the rest of today's show, which is like women are going a lot of women are going so fast.

我想代表所有那些女性说，为什么我觉得我必须做所有事，而且都要做得完美，然后进入一种从醒来到入睡都超负荷运转的状态，尽管我内心深处有个小小的声音在说，慢下来。

And I just wanna speak on behalf of all of those women and say, why do I feel like I have to do everything and do it all, perfectly and get into a place where I'm just in overdrive from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, even though I have this little tiny voice in the back that's like, Slow down.

就好像，我根本听不见那个声音。

It's like, I can't hear it.

为什么？

Why?

医生。

Doctor.

瑞秋，为什么？

Rachel, why?

这真的很可惜。

It's so unfortunate.

对吧？

Right?

听你这么说，我就在想，所有正在听这个播客的女性，可能都会说，对，那就是我。

And as you're saying that, I'm just like, I'm I'm thinking about all of the women that are listening to this podcast and probably saying, yeah, that's me.

对吧？

Right?

对，我听到了。

Like, yeah, I hear that.

我经常从朋友、家人、客户那里听到这样的话。

And I hear that all the time from friends, family, my clients.

我最喜欢的解释方式是，多年来我们一直被灌输这样的信息，尤其是作为女性，尤其是作为母亲，但特别是作为女性，我们被说应该能搞定一切。

And the best way that I like to explain it is that for years, we've been told these messages that especially as women, especially as moms also, but especially as women, that we quote should be able to do it all.

如果我们做不到，那就是我们有问题。

And if we can't do it all, then there's something wrong with us.

对吧？

Right?

对。

Right.

没错。

Exactly.

所以发生的情况是，我喜欢的解释方式是，我们每天每时每刻都被来自媒体、家人、朋友，还有以前的媒体、杂志等等这些信息轰炸。

And so what happens is, again, the way I like to explain it is we are be we are, like, thrown messages all day every day from media, from family, from friends, from, you know, media from years ago, magazines, all those things.

我们的大脑真的无法消化这么多信息。

And our brain really can't take it all in.

所以它只能尽力去理解这些内容。

So it's trying its best to interpret it.

各种信息不断向我们涌来，而大脑最终反馈给我们的最典型的信息就是：是的，你必须样样精通，因为别人都在这么做。

And all these messages are being thrown and the best kind of message that kinda gets spits out at us in a way is, yeah, you have to do it all because that's what everybody else is doing.

如果你做不到，那就有问题了。

And if you don't, something's wrong with you.

你是个失败者。

You're a failure.

所以这些消息都被我们内化了。

So that those messages we have internalized.

现在我们开始相信它们，因为我们一遍又一遍地听到这些话。

And now we start to believe them because we hear them over and over and over again.

虽然我很喜欢社交媒体，但它其实没什么太大帮助，因为我们现在能看到每个人在做的一切，尽管那些都是精心挑选的高光时刻。

As much as I love social media, it is not super helpful because we're now seeing everything that everybody's doing even though they're highlight reels.

而且，我们的大脑根本没法把它当成只是别人的高光时刻来看待。

And then again, our brain can't interpret that as that's just a highlight reel.

如果大脑一直接收到同样的信息，它现在就会给我们反馈一个循环：好吧，他们能做到。

If our brain keeps seeing the same message, it's now giving us that feedback loop of like, okay, they can do it.

那你为什么做不到呢？

Why can't you do it?

所以归根结底，我们都得背这个锅。

So it's it's really we're we're all to blame.

对吧？

Right?

我觉得最好的办法就是我们要站出来，承认自己真的做不到面面俱到。

Like, I think the best thing would be us to show up and be like, I can't do it all.

对吧？

Right?

就像我一开始跟你们说的，做到‘足够好’就行了。

Almost like I said to you guys at the very beginning, like, is my good enough.

说实话吧。

Like, let's be honest.

咱们坦诚点。

Let's be real.

敞开心扉，因为根本没人能真正搞定所有事。

Let's be transparent because nobody is actually doing it all.

就算有人做到了，要么是在求助，要么就像我常说的，他们并不是在同一时间把所有事情都做完的。

And if they are, they're either asking for help or I like to say they're they're not doing it all at the same time.

好的。

Okay.

不用一次性全做完。

Not all at the same time.

那我们来稍微深入聊聊这个话题，因为我也打算拿自己当例子，毕竟我觉得大家都有好多想做的事。

So let's, like, dig into that a little bit because I also, like and I'm gonna use myself as an example here again because I feel like I have all of these things I want to do as well.

所以很难搞清楚怎么把这些事都搞定。

And so it's, like, hard to figure out how to get all of them done.

比如我和Trax，你知道，我们在为比赛训练。

Like and Trax and I, you know, training for races.

我们希望能以高水平去跑步。

Like, we want to be able to run at this high level.

我们想成为优秀的父母。

We wanna be able to be excellent parents.

我们想在事业上做出出色的成绩。

We wanna be able to do excellent things in our work.

而且，我们非常有动力，脑子里有很多想法和想去的地方，但你必须学会取舍。

And, like, we're to be really driven, you have all of these ideas and places that you wanna go, but you have to be able to pick and choose.

对吧？

Right?

那你是怎么做到的？

Like, how how do you do that?

所以

So

你刚才描述的时候，我其实想到了书里的一张图，看起来像个圆圈。

as you were describing that, I was actually thinking about a diagram that I have in the book, which is it looks like a circle.

我把它叫做，就像个馅饼。

And I call it the it's like a pie.

如果生活是个馅饼，在我们人生的不同阶段，它看起来会不一样。

Like, if if life was a pie at different times in our life, it's going to look different.

对吧？

Right?

我觉得这对很多人来说是个重要的时刻，因为我们总是被灌输工作与生活要平衡。

And I think that's a big moment for people because I think we're, again, always told work life balance.

对吧？

Right?

五五开。

Fifty fifty.

实际上现实中根本没有这回事。

There's no such thing as that actually in reality.