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柠檬水。
Lemonada.
嘿，各位《故事海盗》播客的听众朋友们。
Hey, Story Pirates podcast listeners.
我是李。
Lee here.
如你们所知，今天可是重头戏。
As you know, today is the big day.
这是我们整个季度大结局的第二部分，不过我还有个很棒的消息要告诉你们——今年夏天我们会做点什么。
It's part two of our big season finale, but I have some amazing news for you about what we are up to this summer.
或者该说，今年夏天你们会做什么？因为我们为孩子们准备了两个特别棒的无屏幕创意活动。
Or maybe I should say what you are up to this summer because we have two really exciting ways for kids to stay creative this summer without screens.
首先是《故事海盗》夏日生存大礼包，里面包含好几周的趣味活动和故事灵感，帮你把无聊的暑假变成创意爆发的时光。
First, we have the Story Pirates Summer Survival Kit, which has weeks worth of activities and story sparks to help turn summer boredom into creativity.
最重要的是，这份大礼包完全免费，人人都能拿。
And best of all, it's free for everyone and anyone.
家长们，现在就去 storypirates.com/podcast 领取你们的夏日生存包吧。
Grown ups, just head to storypirates.com/podcast to get your summer survival kit today.
等等，Lee，你不是说今年夏天有两个让孩子们保持创意的方式吗？
But wait, Lee, didn't you say there were two exciting ways for kids to stay creative this summer?
是的。
Yes.
当然说了。
You bet I did.
准备好参加夏日故事挑战吧。
Get ready for the summer story Challenge.
我经常听到孩子们说，他们正在写故事寄给我们，或者至少在琢磨着要给我们写个故事。
So I hear from kids all the time that they're working on a story to send us, or even that they're just thinking about writing us a story.
如果你就是这样，那今年夏天就是你突破瓶颈的好机会——夏日故事挑战就是要看你能写出多少故事寄给我们。
Well, if that sounds like you, then this summer is your chance to get over the hump because the Summer Story Challenge is about sending us as many stories as you can write.
猜猜怎么着？
And guess what?
不用非得完美。
They don't have to be perfect.
事实上，别追求完美才好。
In fact, they shouldn't be perfect.
你知道的，有时候故事就一两句话就够了。
As you know, stories can be one or two sentences long even.
我们最受欢迎的一些故事，就是这样的。
Some of our best stories are like that.
不好意思，有谁家的猫正趴在你身上吗？
Excuse me, cats sit on you, anyone?
当一个讲故事的人，关键就在于哪怕不确定自己在写什么，也要坐下来动笔，尤其是这时候。
So much of being a storyteller is about sitting down and writing even when, maybe even, especially when, you're not sure what you're doing.
所以这个夏天，我们鼓励你们尽可能多地写故事。
So this summer, we're challenging you to write as many stories as you can.
最棒的部分来了。
And this is the really cool part.
我们第一次推出了排行榜。
For the first time ever, we are going to have a leaderboard.
整个夏天，向我们提交故事最多的前十名孩子，名字会出现在我们网站的排行榜上。
All summer long, the top 10 kids who send us the most stories will show up on the leaderboard on our website.
夏天结束时，前十名孩子将受邀参加一场特别的披萨派对Zoom会议，和我一起聊聊你们写过的精彩故事。
And at the end of the summer, the top 10 kids will be invited to a special pizza party Zoom with me, where we'll talk about all of the amazing things that you wrote.
此外，整个夏天我都会在播客里点名表扬孩子们，所有参与挑战并提交故事的孩子，最后都会收到一份证书。
Plus, I'll be shouting out kids all summer long on the podcast, and all kids who send us stories as part of the challenge will get a certificate at the end of the summer.
当然，我们还会送上专属的‘故事之爱’，告诉你们我们有多喜欢你们的故事。
And of course, Story Love from us telling you how much we loved your stories.
不过这里有个小条件。
But here's the little catch.
为了更好地管理这些故事，夏季故事挑战仅限创作者俱乐部会员参加。
To help us manage all these stories, the Summer Story Challenge is for Creator Club members only.
但别担心，成为创作者俱乐部会员，每月只需五美元。
But don't worry, being in the Creator Club grown ups is only $5 a month.
如果您的家庭正面临经济困难，请告诉我们，我们一定会确保您的孩子也能参与进来。
And if your family's experiencing financial hardship, you can let us know, and we will definitely work it out that your kids can join anyway.
也许您忘了，Creator Club 的会员这个夏天还能享受双倍的新节目，而且全部没有广告。
And maybe you forgot, but Creator Club members also get double the amount of new episodes this summer, and they're all ad free.
最重要的是，您这样支持我们，能帮助 Story Pirates 继续走下去。
Best of all, supporting us in this way is gonna help Story Pirates keep on keeping on.
现在儿童播客的环境不容易，我们真的需要每一份支持。
It's tough out there for kids podcasts right now, so we need all the help we can get.
但我知道一件事。
But here's what I do know.
加入 Creator Club 绝对值这个价，这个夏天更是物超所值。
Joining Creator Club is totally worth it, and this summer, it's even more worth it.
了解更多并以每月 5 美元加入 Creator Club，请访问 storypirates.com/podcast。
Learn more and join Creator Club for just $5 a month on storypirates.com/podcast.
别忘了，您也可以在那里免费领取我们的夏季生存指南。
And remember, that's also where you can get your free summer survival guide.
好的。
Okay.
接下来进入第八季大结局的第二部分。
Now on to part two of our big season eight finale.
在那之前，先跟大人们说几句话。
After a few more words for the grown ups.
上回在《故事海盗》播客中。
Previously on the Story Pirates podcast.
那么，故事大会，你现在对想象力怎么看？
Well, Storyteller Con, what do you think about imagination now?
想象力是坏的。
That imagination is bad.
哦，天哪。
Oh, no.
他们都被人洗脑了。
They're all brainwashed.
李，我们该怎么办？
Lee, what are we gonna do?
我们得出去
We're gonna go out
为年轻人的文字和想法庆祝一番。
there and celebrate the words and ideas of young people.
谁跟我一起？
Who's with me?
我参加。
I'm in.
米茨。
Mitsu.
我们都参加。
We're all in.
你是说我们陷入大麻烦了吧？
In deep trouble, you mean?
nugget，你在这儿干什么？
Nugget, what are you doing here?
我在这儿等着，就怕你们这么快就放弃，要是真那样，我就拉下这个杠杆，让你们脚下这块地板突然打开，把你们直接送进陷阱里，好让邪恶机器人故事海盗团冒充你们，替你们做那场重要演讲，认输投降，从此彻底终结《故事海盗》播客。
I'm here in case you didn't immediately give up, at which point I was going to pull this lever that will send you down that giant trapdoor you're standing on so that the Evil Robot Story Pirates can then pretend to be you for your big presentation to concede defeat thus ending the Story Pirates podcast forever.
什么？
What?
nugget？
Nugget?
我叫邪恶机器人彼得·杠杆·波。
My name is Evil Robot Peter Lever Poe.
lee，自从我们被困在这个笼子里，你就一直坐在那儿叹气，装得特别戏剧化。
Lee, you've been sitting there sighing dramatically since we got trapped in this cage.
我知道，rachel，但除了叹气装戏剧化，我们还能做什么呢？
I know, Rachel, but what else is there to do but sigh dramatically?
对不起。
I'm sorry.
我知道这不算比赛，但你这叫有戏剧感的叹气？
I know it isn't a competition, but you call that a dramatic sigh.
你说得对，梅根。
You're right, Megan.
这真不是比赛。
It's not a competition.
好吧。
Okay.
行吧。
Fine.
我让你看看什么叫真正的叹气。
I will show you how it's done.
埃里克，说点让人听了想叹气的话。
Eric, say something that would elicit a woeful response.
什么？
A what?
说点让我觉得特别沮丧的事。
Something that will make me feel woeful.
‘沮丧’到底是什么意思？
What does woeful mean exactly?
我来回答你这个问题，埃里克。
I can answer that question, Eric.
如果你觉得沮丧，那大概是因为你被锁在冷库里面，把整家披萨店的备用马苏里拉奶酪都吃光了。
If you're feeling woeful, you probably just ate an entire pizzeria's supply of reserve mozzarella after getting locked in their walk in freezer.
彼得，你说什么？
Peter, what?
你真遇到过这种事？
Did that happen to you?
确实遇到过，尼米尼。
It did, Niminy.
吃完之后，我就觉得：天啊，撑死了。
And when I was done, I was like, woah, full.
不是，彼得。
No, Peter.
是的，梅根。
Yes, Megan.
我确实那样了。
I was.
不是。
No.
woeful 是指不开心、痛苦、一脸愁容。
Woeful as in unhappy, miserable, woebegone.
woebegone 是什么意思？
What does woebegone mean?
我来回答你，蕾切尔。
I can answer that, Rachel.
你有没有过这种经历：正想把一只蜜蜂赶出房间，突然发现它已经飞走了，然后你愣了一下，心想：‘哎呀，蜜蜂呢？’
Have you ever been trying to get a bee out of your room when suddenly you realize it's already gone and you're like, woah, bee?
不，彼得。
No, Peter.
woebegone 就是难过的意思。
Woebegone just means sad.
有人说点让我难过的事吧，我想给李看看什么叫真正的叹气。
Somebody say something that will make me sad so I can show Lee what a dramatic sigh is supposed to sound like.
好吧。
Okay.
那个邪恶的机器人故事海盗团马上要登台了，他们要假装成我们，永远解散故事海盗团，现在一切都完了？
The Evil Robot Story Pirates are about to go on stage and pretend to be us to disband the Story Pirates forever and all hope is lost?
这还挺棒的。
That was pretty good.
真希望她已经把那件事办完了。
Wish she's done the gal.
哇。
Wow.
她会这么做吗？
Does she do it?
谢谢。
Thank you.
谢谢。
Thank you.
这才叫真正的忧郁表达。
Now that's how you express melancholy.
我曾经试着吃掉一份忧郁。
I tried to eat a melancholy once.
结果发现它根本不是用西瓜做的。
Turns out it wasn't actually made of melon.
哦，彼得。
Oh, Peter.
哦，李。
Oh, Lee.
这个真不错。
That was a good one.
谢谢。
Thanks.
它让我满心欢喜。
It just filled me up with joy.
我妈妈特别喜欢这些笑话。
My mom loves the jokes.
嘿。
Yo.
嘿。
Yo.
对上号。
Match it.
我为自己写的这些感到特别自豪。
It made me very proud about my writing.
所以我突然想到厕所，还有什么比厕所更搞笑的呢？
So I just thought of toilets because what's more funny than toilet?
我现在觉得自己的创意确实更丰富了。
I definitely think I can be more creative now.
我才是冠军。
I'm the champion.
故事海盗团。
The Story Pirates.
欢迎回到《故事海盗》播客，各位。
Welcome back to the Story Pirates podcast, everyone.
我们把孩子们写的故事改编成表演。
Where we take stories written by kids.
再配上小品喜剧。
And turn them into sketch comedy.
还有歌曲。
And songs.
至少还能再撑一会儿。
At least for a little while longer.
直到那些邪恶的机器人故事海盗毁掉我们的名声，让全世界都跟我们作对。
Until those evil robot story pirates destroy our reputation and turn the world against us.
如果我们能逃出这个笼子就好了。
If we could only get out of this cage.
不可能。
Not possible.
小 nugget。
Nugget.
我已经跟你说过很多次了，我的名字不叫小 nugget。
I have told you, my name is not Nugget.
我叫邪恶机器人彼得。
I am Evil Robot Peter.
我知道你已经不记得我们在水上乐园一起玩的那些快乐时光了，小 nugget，但我还记得。
I know you don't remember the fun time we had together at that water park, Nugget, but I do.
所以我才确定你的真名就是Nugget。
That's how I know that your real name is Nugget.
而且你还特别爱吃零食，喜欢胡闹，还爱看小孩子写的故事。
And then you love snacks and silliness and stories written by kids.
真恶心。
Gross.
好难吃。
Yuck.
呕。
Barf.
更准确地说，我讨厌这些东西。
More like, I hate all those things.
你到底在这儿干什么？
What are you even doing here?
你不是该和其他邪恶机器人故事海盗一起，准备上台冒充我们吗？
Shouldn't you be with the rest of the Evil Robot Story Pirates getting ready to go on stage and pretend to be us?
我本来在的，但邪恶机器人李让我下来盯着你们这些囚犯。
I was, but Evil Robot Lee told me to come down here to keep watch over you prisoners.
为什么是你？
Why you?
邪恶机器人李说，自从水上乐园那件事之后，我就没处于最佳状态了。
Well, Evil Robot Lee says that ever since the water park incident, I haven't been operating at my optimal capacity.
那是什么意思？
What does that mean?
没什么。
Nothing.
就是我最近有点卡顿，卡顿，卡顿，卡顿，卡顿，卡顿的。
It just means that I've been slightly glitch glitch glitch glitch glitch glitchy.
不好意思。
Excuse me.
嘿，小 nugget。
Hey, Nugget.
既然故事海盗团马上就要永远解散了，你觉得还有什么好事值得做吗？
Since the Story Pirates are about to be disbanded forever, you know what might be nice?
别提零食了。
Do not say snacks.
我本来就没打算说这个，咱们先放一放。
I wasn't going actually, let's put a pin in that idea.
不过，我本来是想说
But no, I was gonna say
再讲一个故事。
one more story.
这是一个孩子写的故事，但不让孩子写的故事上台，本来就是咱们的核心宗旨。
A story from a kid, but stopping you from performing stories written by kids is kind of the whole point.
再讲一个故事能有什么坏处呢？
What's the harm in just one more story?
嗯，不错，太好了。
Well, well, well, well, well, good.
好吧。
Alright.
就这一个啊。
But just one.
太好了。
Great.
这是最后一个故事。
Here's one last story.
各位听众，这首歌是一位非常出色的作者写的，他的学校参与了我们的‘故事探索’项目。
Listeners, this song was written by another amazing author whose school took part in our Story Quest program.
‘故事探索’是一个数字叙事课程，你们可以收听定制的播客节目，学习如何构建一个完整的故事。
Story Quest is a digital storytelling curriculum where you get to listen to custom podcast episodes and learn the building blocks of writing a story.
好了，接下来请作者自己来介绍一下这个故事。
Anyway, here's the author to introduce their story.
大家好，我叫伊森。
Hi, my name is Ethan.
我十岁了，住在印第安纳州。
I'm 10 years old, and I live in Indiana.
这是我的故事，叫《可可的疯狂日程》。
This is my story, Coco's Crazy Schedule.
可可。
Coco.
可可。
Coco.
可可。
Coco.
可可。
Coco.
可可。
Coco.
好了。
Alright.
今天，我，可可，终于要变成我一直想成为的蝾螈了。
Today's the day I, Coco, finally become the axolotl I've always wanted to be.
再也不用拖着那双半透明的小脚走路了。
No more dragging my little translucent feet.
别人说蝾螈永远不会完全长大，但他们没见过可可。
They say axolotls never fully mature, but they've never met Coco.
热可可，我最爱的饮品，也是我名字的由来。
Oh, hot cocoa, my favorite drink and my namesake.
总之，我给自己定了一份严格的疯狂日程，只要不走神，我就能坚持下去——而我肯定不会走神。
Anyway, I put together a strict crazy schedule to keep me on track as long as I don't get distracted, which I won't.
事实上，让我
In fact, let
再把我的日程过一遍。
me go through my schedule one more time.
第一步。
Step one.
十一点起床。
Get up at 11AM.
第二步。
Step two.
喝我的早餐可可。
Drink my breakfast cocoa.
第三步。
Step three.
然后跑八千英里。
Then run 8,000 miles.
第四步。
Step four.
喝我的午餐可可。
Drink my lunch cocoa.
现在只剩一件事了，照我的计划来。
Now there's only one thing to do, my schedule.
第一步。
Step one.
十一点起床。
Get up at 11AM.
第二步。
Step two.
喝我的早餐可可。
Drink my breakfast Coco.
第三步。
Step three.
有一辆卡车上面写着‘含糖冰淇淋’。
There's a truck that says sugary ice cream.
等等。
Oh, wait.
含糖冰淇淋？
Sugary ice cream?
啊。
Ah.
终于，我吃到冰淇淋了。
At last, I finally got my ice cream.
好吃好吃好吃好吃好吃好吃好吃好吃好吃。
Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom.
听起来挺有意思的。
You know it sounds like fun.
糖怎么就那么招人喜欢呢？
What's going for sugar to love?
很有趣吗？
It fun?
然后可可跑了上千万英里。
Then Coco ran tens of million miles.
我知道那是10的31次方。
I know that's 10 to the thirty first power.
他那个世界绕上一千圈都不止。
There's more than 1,000 laps around his world.
没错。
That's right.
我们不在地球上。
We're not on Earth.
既然这样，我就先喝掉我的午餐，然后睡个午觉，Coco。
Now that that's alright, I'm gonna drink my lunch, Coco, then take a nap.
那边绝对不行。
No way over there.
那是什么？
What is that?
可能是
It's probably
八分钟之后。
Eight minutes later.
至少我现在不会再因为糖分过高而亢奋了。
Well, at least I don't have a sugar rush anymore.
看来只剩下一件事可做了——把整个宇宙炸了。
I guess there's only one thing left to do, Blow up the universe.
那是可可的疯狂举动。
That was Coco's crazy.
那是可可的疯狂举动。
That was Coco's crazy.
日程安排。
Schedule.
别担心。
Don't worry.
我明天就能重新创造一个宇宙。
I can recreate the universe tomorrow.
我就把它排进日程里。
I'll just put it on the schedule.
现在由李采访这位作者。
And now Lee speaks with the author.
嗨，伊森。
Hi, Ethan.
你写了《可可的疯狂日程》这个故事。
You wrote the story Coco's Crazy Schedule.
是的，是我写的。
Yes, I did.
你能说说这个故事的灵感是从哪儿来的吗？
Can you tell me how you got the idea for that story?
其实我想，既然我自己就挺疯的，不如把这种特质放进一个角色里。
Well, I was thinking that since I'm very crazy, I could put that into a character.
然后我就干脆把他设计成一只特别疯狂又酷炫的蝾螈。
And then I basically just made it that he was like a very crazy awesome axolotl.
所以你是想说，你的日程安排也跟可可一样疯狂？
So you try to tell me that your schedule is just as crazy as Coco's?
有时候确实是。
Sometimes it is.
你也会十一二点才起床，然后直接喝早餐吗？
Do you also get out of bed at eleven and then drink breakfast Coco?
周末的时候我会。
In the weekends, I do.
你每天都有固定的作息安排吗？
Do you have a routine that you follow every day?
我尽量保证放学后能留出时间打篮球，或者做些别的喜欢的事，比如涂色之类的。
I try to make sure that, like, after school, I have time that I can play basketball or do some other fun hobbies that I have, like coloring and stuff.
太棒了。
That's amazing.
你为什么选蝾螈当故事的主角？
Why did you choose an axolotl as the main character in your story?
那你是怎么给这只蝾螈取名叫Coco的？
And how did you choose the name Coco for the axolotl?
那是我最喜欢的动物。
That is like my favorite animal.
我创作它的时候正好是冬天，而我特别喜欢冬天喝热可可。
When I was making it, it was kind of in the wintertime, and I love hot cocoa during the wintertime.
所以我就想到了这一点。
So that's what I was thinking of.
对于不了解的听众，你能说说蝾螈的一些特点吗？
For anyone listening who doesn't know, can you tell me some facts about axolotls?
它们只生活在墨西哥的一个特定湖泊里。
They only live in one specific place, and that's in a certain lake in Mexico.
它们的身体部分是透明的。
They're partially transparent.
蝾螈能再生身体部位，甚至能再生一部分大脑。
Axolotls can regrow their body parts and even some parts of their brain.
天哪。
Woah.
太神奇了。
That's amazing.
在你故事的结尾，有一个特别有趣的细节，说可可把整个宇宙炸了。
So at the end of your story, there is a very, very interesting detail where it says that Coco blew up the universe.
你能说说这个部分吗？
Can you tell me about that?
我的意思是，你想想，如果他绕着地球跑了那么多次，估计真会炸掉。
Well, I mean, if you think about it, if he runs that many times around the whole planet, it would probably explode.
那爆炸会波及整个宇宙吗？
Does that expand to the entire universe then?
差不多吧。
Kinda.
因为所有能量都集中在行星爆炸的冲击里，基本上把一切都毁了。
Because, like, all the energy goes into the blast of the planet, and it basically explodes everything.
可可能活下来吗？
Does Coco survive that?
我觉得他身边有个糖做的魔法护盾，保护了他。
I think he has, like, a magical force field of sugar that protected him.
你写故事的时候，感觉怎么样？
How does it feel to you when you write a story?
特别棒，因为你能完全创造一个全新的世界，然后身临其境地去体验它。
It feels really cool because, like, you get to basically experience a whole another world that you can completely make up.
真厉害。
Wow.
你这么说，真是再贴切不过了。
That is such a cool way of putting it.
伊森，非常感谢你让我们演绎你的故事。
Ethan, thank you so much for letting us perform your story.
不客气。
You are welcome.
谢谢你们把这故事放进播客里。
Thank you for putting it on your podcast.
别客气，朋友。
You are so welcome, my friend.
再见，伊森。
Bye, Ethan.
再见。
Bye.
是的。
Yeah.
太精彩了。
That was amazing.
我都感觉不到自己
I didn't even feel like
被关在
I was trapped in
一个笼子里。
a cage.
这故事真棒。
It was such a great story.
你觉得呢，Nugget？
Don't you agree, Nugget?
对。
Yes.
我特别喜欢Coco的日程排得满满的。
I particularly liked how full Coco's schedule was.
太满了。
Too full.
这地方真不错。
That was very good.
等等。
Wait.
你真的做了？
You did?
是的。
Yes.
我的意思是，不是。
I mean, no.
真恶心。
Yuck.
那个故事又糟糕又傻气。
That story was horrible and silly.
孩子应该静悄悄的，别多嘴。
Children should be seen, but not heard.
我说得太多了。
I've said too much.
算了。
Never mind.
你知道吗，邪恶机器人彼得，你大概说得对。
You know, Evil Robot Peter, you're probably right.
我？
I am?
问号？
Question mark?
是？
Is?
是的。
Yes.
这些年我们讲过太多荒唐的故事了。
We've done so many silly stories over the years.
要是跟你们说了，你们肯定受不了。
You'd probably hate them if we told you about them.
有些真的特别特别荒唐。
Some of them are very, very silly.
对吧，各位？
Right, guys?
哦，对啊。
Oh, right.
猫趴在你身上怎么办？
How about cats sit on you?
猫趴在你身上？
Cats sit on you?
是的。
Yeah.
猫就会趴在你身上。
Cats sit on you.
有时候它们干脆霸占整个教室。
And sometimes they take over the school.
这也太荒唐了。
That's so silly.
我的意思是，完全没道理。
I mean, illogical.
你还记得那个故事吗？
Remember that story?
就是那个校长当着全校的面吃虫子的故事，《校长吃虫子》？
Principal Ate A Worm, about a principal that has to eat a worm in front of the entire school?
记得。
Yes.
那是我们第一次和DJ Squirm有那么多合作。
That was the first time we ever worked with DJ Squirm a lot.
我特别喜欢DJ Squirm。
I love DJ Squirm a lot.
我的意思是，其实我不喜欢。
I mean, no, I don't.
还有那个叫《空中的猪》的故事，讲的是把气球绑在宠物土拨鼠身上，防止它弄脏身子。
Or the story Air Hog, about a product that's just a balloon that you tie around your pet groundhog to keep it from getting dirty on the ground.
哦，我超爱这个故事。
Oh, I love that story.
是的
Yeah.
就是那个我们一直大喊'Airhog'的场景。
That's the one where we just keep screaming Airhog.
Airhog。
Airhog.
Airhog。
Airhog.
Airhog。
Airhog.
对。
Yes.
Airhog。
Airhog.
Airhog。
Airhog.
不是。
No.
我的意思是，没有猪。
I mean, no hog.
没有猪。
No hog.
或者我的嘴自己跑掉了？
Or how about my mouth ran away?
有一次，我的嘴自己跑掉了。
Once, my mouth ran away.
是啊。
Yep.
真的跑了。
It did.
我的嘴自己跑掉了。
My my mouth ran away.
展开剩余字幕（还有 480 条）
砰。
Boom.
啪。
Clap.
是的。
Yes.
对。
Yes.
我喜欢这个故事。
I love that story.
不行。
No.
不行。
No.
注意。
Warning.
警告。
Warning.
或者那个特别傻的故事，叫机器人工程娃娃，你觉得怎么样？
Or how about that very silly story called the robotics engineering doll?
就是那个机器人其实有生命的那个故事？
The story about the robot that was actually living?
不行。
No.
不行。
No.
我没有感觉。
I do not feel.
我是个邪恶的机器人。
I am an evil robot.
一个能感受、能爱，而且知道不该背叛朋友的机器人。
A robot who could feel and love and know better than to turn on their friends.
不行。
No.
不行。
No.
这不可能。
That's impossible.
可那首第一季的歌《没有什么是不可能的》可不是这么说的。
Not according to that song from season one called Nothing is Impossible.
哦，那真是一首了不起的歌。
Oh, that is an incredible song.
哦，天哪。
Oh, no.
出错了。
Error.
出错了。
Error.
太荒唐了。
Too silly.
太荒唐了。
Too silly.
三秒后重置。
Resetting in three.
不行。
No.
两秒。
Two.
别重置，小 nugget。
Don't reset, Nugget.
再来一次。
And again.
Nugget。
Nugget.
哦，不妙。
Oh, no.
我还以为这招会管用呢。
I thought that would work.
我以为只要让他想起《孩子们的故事》有多好玩，我朋友就会回来。
I thought if we got him to remember how much fun Stories by Kids are, my friend would come back.
彼得，我真的非常抱歉。
I'm so sorry, Peter.
试一试也无妨，但我认为我们得接受了。
It was worth a try, but I I think we have to accept that
我叫纽盖特。
My name is Nugget.
倒吸一口冷气。
Gasp.
纽盖特，
Nugget,
回来。
get back.
而且比以前更好了，咱们把你从笼子里放出来吧，酷哥。
And better than ever, let's get you out of that cage, cool guy.
哇哦。
Woah.
你直接把金属笼子的门从框架上给掰下来了。
You just ripped the metal cage door off the frame.
是的。
Yeah.
你不是有钥匙吗？
Don't you have the key?
哎呀。
Oopsie.
我真粗心。
How silly of me.
我需要一个
I need a
新的？这不错。
new That's good.
这不错。
That's good.
我们自由了。
We're free.
各位女士和绅士们，请到主厅集合。
Ladies and gentle storytellers, please gather in the main hall.
故事海盗们的最终演出即将开始。
Our final presentation from the Story Pirates will begin momentarily.
来吧，大家。
Come on, everyone.
我们该去表演了。
We have a presentation to give.
走吧。
Let's go.
广告结束后，我们马上回来。
We'll be right back after a few words for the grown ups.
各位大人，听好了。
Hey, grown ups.
今天这一期由Quince赞助。
Today's episode is sponsored by Quince.
如果你了解我，就知道我总想找一些穿起来自然、舒服，又很有型的衣服。
If you know me, you know I'm always looking for clothes that feel effortless, comfortable, and really put together.
这样穿衣服就简单多了。
It just makes getting dressed simpler.
所以我特别喜欢Quince的东西。
That's why I love the things I have from Quince.
面料特别好，剪裁显身材，根本不用费劲搭配。
The fabrics are super nice, the fits are flattering, and I don't have to overthink anything.
我最讨厌想太多事了。
And I hate overthinking things.
我只喜欢恰到好处地想想。
I only like thinking about things just the right amount.
这个春天，Quince 让你轻松焕新日常穿搭，衣服看着好看，穿起来更舒服。
Quince makes it easy to refresh your everyday this spring with pieces that feel as good as they look.
他们用的都是高品质面料，比如100%欧洲亚麻、有机棉，还有超柔软的牛仔布。
They use premium materials like 100% European linen, organic cotton, and ultra soft denim.
他们的亚麻长裤、连衣裙和上衣，价格从30美元起，轻盈透气，穿起来毫不费力，怎么穿都不腻。
Their lightweight linen pants, dresses, and tops start at $30 and are effortless, breathable, and easy to wear on repeat.
Quince 的所有商品，价格都比其他同类品牌低50%到80%。
Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than other similar brands.
他们直接和有道德的工厂合作，去掉中间商，你付的钱全是为品质和工艺买单，不是为品牌溢价。
They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman, so you're paying for quality and craftsmanship, not brand markup.
前几天我在线上逛Quince，想买点衣服，结果看到那件欧洲亚麻宽松短袖衬衫的价格，差点没从椅子上跳起来。
I was shopping the other day for some clothes online from Quince, and holy moly, I did a cartoon double take when I saw the price on European linen relaxed short sleeve shirts.
我真幸运，那时候嘴里没喝任何东西，不然肯定一口喷到电脑上。
I'm actually lucky that I wasn't drinking any liquid at the time because I would have done a spit take all over my computer.
价格低得离谱，不是那种普通的便宜，而是八十年代那种酷到飞起的极限滑板动作级别的便宜。
The prices are radically low, and I mean that in a they are not expensive kind of way and a nineteen eighties radical that was an awesome kickflip you just did kind of way.
用真正会穿的奢侈品，焕新你的日常穿搭。
Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use.
前往 quince.com/storypirates，下单即享免运费，且支持365天无理由退换。
Head to quince.com/storypirates for free shipping on your order and three sixty five day returns.
现在加拿大也能购买了。
Now available in Canada too.
记得去 quince.com/storypirates，免运费加365天无理由退换。
That's quince.com/storypirates for free shipping and three sixty five day returns.
quince.com/storypirates。
Quince.com/storypirates.
各位女士、先生，感谢大家光临StoryTellerCon。
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you all for coming to StoryTellerCon.
最近有些传言说，我们都被邪恶机器人故事海盗洗脑了，所以才突然讨厌想象力，尤其是孩子们写的那些搞笑故事。
Now there have been some rumors going around that all of us were brainwashed by the Evil Robot Story Pirates, which is why we all suddenly hate imagination, especially in the form of silly stories written by kids.
但我觉得这根本不是真的，你觉得呢？
But I don't think that's true, do you?
没有，我们根本没有被洗脑。
No, we have not been brainwashed.
我们每个人都有自己的想法。
We are individuals with our own opinions.
你看吧？
See?
接下来是今年故事海盗大会的压轴表演，有请普通的 Story Pirates 上台！
Now for the final presentation of this year's StoryTellerCon, please welcome to the stage the normal Story Pirates.
大家好，故事海盗大会。
Hello, Storyteller Con.
我们是普通的真人故事海盗。
We are the regular human Story Pirates.
我叫李。
I'm Lee.
天哪。
Gasp.
我说得对吧？
Am I right?
咱们来跟其他成员打个招呼吧。
Let's say hello to the rest of the crew.
我是尼米尼。
I'm Nimini.
科学、冒险，或者随便什么。
Science, adventure, or whatever.
我是蕾切尔。
I'm Rachel.
提个冷门的以前职业梗。
Obscure previous profession reference.
我超爱椅子。
I love chairs.
我是梅根。
I'm Megan.
一个人撑起全场的表演者，不过我不是机器，是真人。
The one woman one woman show machine, but not a machine, a human.
我是埃里克。
And I'm Eric.
这些是真发辫，不是我在绿房间用窗帘自己编出来的假发辫。
These are real dreadlocks and not fake ones that I fashioned from the curtains in the green room.
我们相信你。
We believe you.
那太好了，因为我们有个重要消息要宣布。
Good because we have something important to announce.
在长期把孩子们写的故事改编成小品和歌曲之后，我们意识到，我们做的事其实挺糟糕的。
After a long career of adapting stories written by kids and turning them into sketch comedy and songs, we have realized that what we do is bad.
因此，在整个故事讲述界面前，我们正式宣布：故事海盗团
Therefore, in front of the entire storytelling world, we are here to officially announce that the Story Pirates are
并不会消失。
Not going anywhere.
天哪。
Gasp.
真正的、活生生的故事海盗团。
The real human Story Pirates.
我的天，快抓住他们。
I mean, quick, seize them.
纽吉特，拉下杠杆。
Nugget, pull the lever.
但通往那个牢笼的暗门根本不在舞台上。
But the trap door down to that cage isn't on the stage.
不是的。
No.
因为我把笼子吊在了天花板上。
Because I hung the cage up here in the rafters.
邪恶机器人彼得？
Evil Robot Peter?
拉杠杆。
Lever pull.
我们被困住了。
We are trapped.
不对。
No.
现在，各位朋友和故事讲述者，轮到我们来做重磅展示了。
And now, friends and storytellers, it's our turn to give our big presentation.
你来晚了，利奥·伯特里。
You are too late, Leo Birtree.
全世界的故事讲述者都已经背离了创意、想象力和幽默感，你再说什么也改变不了他们的心意。
All the world storytellers have turned against creativity, imagination, and silliness, and there's nothing you can say to change their minds.
你说得对，邪恶机器人李。
You're right, Evil Robot Lee.
没错。
Yes.
我没错。
I am right.
天哪。
Woah.
等等。
Wait.
你刚说我对了？
Did you say I'm right?
我不太明白。
I don't understand.
李·奥弗里根本说不出话来让你明白创造力、想象力和荒诞的威力，但我手里有成千上万年轻人多年来从世界各地寄给我们的精彩、搞笑又聪明的故事。
Lee Overtree doesn't have the words to convince you of the power of creativity, imagination, and silliness, but I do have the words and ideas of tens of thousands of young people who have, for years, sent us their incredible, hilarious, and brilliant stories from all across the world.
没错。
That's right.
比如这个来自肯塔基州八岁男孩罗南的真实故事，他写了一个叫‘嘎嘎’的鸭子，名字叫‘老鼠屎’。
Like this very real story from an eight year old from Kentucky named Ronan called Quack Quack about a duck whose name is rat poop.
她刚才是说‘老鼠屎’吗？
Did she say rat poop?
还有这个来自密歇根州八岁女孩萨迪的故事，叫《烤牛肉》，讲的是一个眼睛和她一样蓝的友善龙，名字就叫烤牛肉。
Or this one from an eight year old from Michigan named Sadie called Roast Beef, the friendly dragon with eyes like mine, about a girl who meets a dragon named Roast Beef that has blue eyes like her.
一条叫烤牛肉的龙？真不寻常。
A dragon named roast beef, most unusual.
这太好笑了。
That is funny.
邪恶机器人彼得，我命令你立刻停止。
Evil Robot Peter, I order you to stop this at once.
还有这个来自德克萨斯州两个十岁孩子伦和瓦伦蒂娜的故事，叫《果冻麦古姆巴尔脸的复仇》。
Or this story from two 10 year olds from Texas named Ren and Valentina called The Revenge of Gummy McGumballface.
这听起来也太荒唐了吧。
That sounds really silly.
别说了，停下。
No, stop.
这些也太荒唐了。
These are too silly.
真的太荒唐了。
Too silly.
哪有什么太荒唐这一说。
There's no such thing as too silly.
吃太多辣火锅是有可能的，
It's easy to eat too much chili,
走太陡的山路也是会累的，
or hike a trail that's too hilly,
穿太花哨的衬衫去上班也行，但是
or wear a shirt to work that's too frilly, but
根本不存在
there's no
太傻这回事。
such thing as too silly.
听听我们不断增长的故事库里的这些标题吧。
Just listen to the titles of these stories from our ever growing story inventory.
这些故事都来自世界各地的孩子，你的笑声会告诉你它们有多值钱。
These are from real kids around the earth Your laughs will prove exactly what they're worth
没错，我们有数以万计来自各地孩子的精彩故事。
That's right, we have tens of thousands of incredible stories from kids everywhere.
听听这些精彩的名字。
Listen to these amazing titles.
霹雳舞的夜晚。
The Breakdancing Night.
传送马桶。
Teleporter Potty.
K-pop暴风雪。
The K Pop Blizzard.
那可不是疯癫杰基。
That's not Wacky Jacky.
安妮括号，不是那部电影。
Annie Parentheses, not the movie.
乔伊的漫长人生。
Joey's Big Long Life.
屁股变出蜘蛛屁股。
Butt makes spider butt.
哦，面包按钮。
Oh, bread button.
不对。
No.
是牙医。
It's the dentist.
买点便宜的
Buy a poor
摇滚abilly听多了确实会腻，但再傻也不算多。
You can listen to too much rockabilly, but there's no such thing as too silly.
喂。
Hey.
这真有意思。
That's really funny.
对。
Yes.
我的意思是，这些故事听起来特别有创意，充满想象力。
I mean, these stories will sound so creative, so imaginative.
但我不是说我们不喜欢这些东西吗？
But I thought we didn't like those things.
是啊，可为什么呢？
Yeah, but why?
我想不起来了。
I can't remember.
哦，谁在乎啊？
Oh, who cares?
在乎？
Cares?
嘿，我可喜欢荒唐事了。
Hey, I love silliness.
太棒了。
Yay.
《毛毛虫游戏秀屋》《普林斯代尔的PSG》《谨慎的男孩和鲜艳的青蛙》。
The Caterpillar Game Show House, PSG's of Prinsdale, the cautious boy and the vivid frog.
蛋黄酱海啸。
Mayonnaise tsunami.
小号出问题了。
Trumpet trouble.
不行。
No.
不行。
No.
我们的计划全被打乱了。
Our plans are being ruined.
鞋子上发出咕咕声。
Coo on the shoe.
实在太好玩了。
It's too much fun.
我根本停不下来。
I cannot help myself.
我吃太多了。
I am overeating.
鱼可不会去唱卡拉OK。
Fish don't do karaoke.
我也是。
Me too.
我在笑。
I am laughing.
我在笑。
I am laughing.
激光恐龙迪斯科对决。
Laser dino disco dance off.
孩子们的创造力太惊人了。
The power of kids' creativity is too much.
我喜欢这些故事。
I love these stories.
这个愚蠢又超逼真的花菜科学家。
The This stupid duper realistic cauliflower scientist.
这一切都太有启发性了。
This is all so inspiring.
这让我想去看一场只有一个人的机器人秀。
It makes me want to ride a one robot woman show.
你可以用一个老漏水的碗，或者吃一根特别咸的泡菜。
You can use a bowl that's too spilly or eat a pickle that's just way too dilly
紧急重启，三、二、一。
Emergency reboot in three, two, one.
哇哦。
Woah.
发生什么事了？
What happened?
这就是孩子们故事的力量。
It is the power of kids' stories.
他们太有创意、太有趣了，连邪恶的机器人都不是他们的对手。
They are so creative and so funny that evil robots were no match for them.
故事海盗？
Story Pirates?
故事先生，我有话要对您，还有整个会场的人说。
Mister Story, I have something to say to you and to this entire convention hall.
天哪。
Oh no.
你怎么听起来这么生气？
Why do you sound angry?
因为这样说话前制造紧张感，效果特别好。
Because it's a really effective dramatic device to build tension right before I say that.
你救了故事电视台。
You saved Story Telecast.
什么？
What?
各位，让我们为这些故事讲述者鼓掌，是他们让我们免于失去乐趣、创意和幽默的生活。
Everyone, let's hear it for the storytellers that saved us from a life without fun, without creativity, without silliness.
让我们为故事海盗们鼓掌。
Let's hear it for The Story Pirates.
天哪。
Wow.
我们做到了。
We did it.
我们
We
真的做到了。
really did it.
不对，埃里克。
No, Eric.
不是我们做到的。
We didn't do it.
是孩子们做到的。
The kids did.
让我们为我们的小作者们鼓掌。
Let's hear it for our authors.
献给每一个给我们写故事的孩子。
For every kid that's ever written us a story.
献给每一个写过故事的孩子。
For every kid that's ever written any story.
献给每一个讲过笑话、玩过过家家、敢
For every kid who's told a joke or played make believe or dared
大胆想象的孩子。
to think outside the box.
致全世界所有孩子，是你们救了故事海盗团。
To all the kids around the world, you saved Story Pirates.
嘿，故事海盗团。
Hey, Story Pirates.
你们知道我觉得用什么方式为这一季画上句号最合适吗？
You know what I think would be the perfect way to end this season?
什么方式啊，小不点？
What's that, Nugget?
再来一个孩子的故事。
With another story from a kid.
当然好啊，快讲吧。
Oh, yes, please.
这真是我听过的最好的主意。
That's the best idea I've ever heard.
接下来，请欢迎另一位了不起的小作者来分享。
And here's another incredible author to introduce it.
大家好，我叫艾莉，今年十岁，住在伊利诺伊州。
Hi, my name's Ellie and I'm 10 years old and I live in Illinois.
这是我的故事，叫《建议马桶》。
This is my story, The Advice Toilet.
欢迎来到‘加油必停’，新泽西收费公路上第四十八受欢迎的加油站。
Welcome to Fuel and Gotta Go, the New Jersey Turnpike's forty eighth best reviewed gas station.
小朋友，需要什么帮助吗？
How can I help you, kid?
您好，加油站的工作人员。
Hi, mister gas station employee.
我是个叫Dude的小孩，需要上厕所。
I'm a kid named dude, and I need to go to the bathroom.
能把厕所的钥匙给我一下吗？
Can I get the bathroom key, please?
当然可以，而且你运气不错，Dude小朋友。
You can, and you're in luck, kid named Dude.
我们刚装了一套全新的马桶。
We just installed a brand new toilet.
希望你能用得舒服。
I hope you find what you need in there.
好的。
Okay.
行。
Sure.
随便吧，先生。
Whatever, mister.
我真的急着上厕所。
I really gotta go.
好的好的。
Okey dokey.
钥匙给你。
Here's the key.
好好享受吧，叫Dude的小朋友。
Enjoy, kid named dude.
谢谢。
Thanks.
现在得赶紧跑去厕所了。
Now to run to the bathroom.
呼呼。
Hoo hoo.
好的。
Okay.
我到洗手间门口了。
I'm at the bathroom door.
现在把钥匙插进锁里，转一下，然后开门。
Time to put the key in the lock, then turn the key and open the door.
你好啊，马桶。
Hello, Toilet.
你好啊，孩子。
Hello, kid.
哦，你……你是个会说话的马桶？
Oh, a, a, a talking toilet?
是的。
Yes.
我建议你多吃点纤维。
My advice, you need more fibers in your diet.
真恶心。
Ew.
天哪，我可没问这个。
Man, I did not ask for any kind
我不是有意冒犯。
No offense of meant.
我只是给你一点建议而已。
I was only giving a little bit of advice.
比如追逐你的梦想，凯文。
Advice such as follow your dreams, Kevin.
别让它们白白浪费了。
Don't let them go down the drain.
我不叫凯文。
My name isn't Kevin.
我叫Dude。
It's Dude.
我不确定能不能改名字。
I don't know if I can change my name.
只要你下定决心，什么事都能做到。
You can do anything you set your mind to.
我的建议是？
My advice?
勇敢去闯吧。
Take the plunge.
说真的，你这一生打算怎么过，兄弟？
Tell me, what are you going to do for your life, dude?
我不知道，马桶。
I don't know, Toilet.
我就是个孩子。
I'm just a kid.
我爸希望我去读医学院。
My dad wants me to go to medical school.
我妈妈希望我去读法学院，所以我大概会选其中一个吧？
My mom wants me to go to lawyer college, so I'll probably do one of those?
我的建议？
My advice?
走自己的路吧，兄弟。
Choose your own path, dude.
选自己的路。
Choose
自己的路？
my own path?
嘿，小子，你快完事了吗？
Hey kid, are you almost done in there?
这是公共卫生间，你都待了三个小时了。
This is a public bathroom and you've been in there for three hours.
三个小时？
Three hours?
当你在探索自己能成为什么样的人时，时间的感觉就不一样了。
Time flows differently when you're discovering who you can become.
选自己的路吧，兄弟。
Choose your own path, dude.
天哪。
Yeesh.
我会自己选条路走出这个洗手间。
I will choose my own path out of this bathroom.
你可算出来了。
About time, kid.
我得走了。
I gotta go.
等等。
Wait.
你刚才在里面跟谁说话呢？
Who were you talking to in there?
哎呀。
Ugh.
这马桶老爱给人提建议。
This advice giving toilet.
它一直在给我提建议。
It was giving me advice.
真烦人，对吧？
So annoying, right?
会提建议的马桶？
An advice giving toilet?
这下可有意思了。
This is great.
我正需要一些建议呢。
I need advice.
哦，那你自便吧，这位穿着高档西装的朋友。
Oh, well, help yourself, person wearing a big fancy suit.
你好啊，马桶。
Hello, toilet.
最近我老是拿不定主意。
I'm having trouble making decisions lately.
我该怎么办？
What should I do?
我的建议？
My advice?
别总担心自己会做错决定。
Stop worrying about making the wrong decision.
听从你的直觉。
Follow your instincts.
真的吗？
Wow.
我得把这会提建议的马桶告诉所有人。
I gotta tell everyone about this advice giving toilet.
我正在给所有认识的人发消息。
I'm texting everyone I know.
会提建议的马桶。
Advice giving toilet.
就在马桶里。
In the toilet.
快过来吧。
Come now.
大家很快就要到加油站了。
Everyone should be arriving at the gas station soon.
我需要一些建议。
I need advice.
我真的需要帮忙。
I could really use some help.
我有很多麻烦事。
I have many problems.
厕所，厕所。
Toilet toilet.
我们需要一个厕所。
We need a toilet.
得找个厕所。
Need a toilet.
哇哦。
Wow.
短短三秒钟，就有一千人跑来排队上厕所。
In only three seconds, a thousand people showed up and got in line for the toilet.
看来这个厕所现在出名了？
I guess the toilet is famous now?
那我现在是不是也出名了？
I'm famous now?
但我真的想出名吗？
But do I really want to be famous?
我本该兴奋得不得了才对。
I ought to be overflowing with excitement.
但我的梦想呢？
But what about my own dreams?
你刚才说的那句是……
What was that you just
你是不是悄悄地、戏剧性地对自己说了句‘厕所’？
said to yourself quietly and dramatically, Toilet?
哦，没什么。
Oh, it was nothing.
还有谁需要建议？
Who else needs advice?
就像这卷厕纸一样，
Like this toilet tissue,
我正处在状态中。
I'm on a roll.
马桶，是我，那个穿着华丽西装的人。
Toilet, it's me, the person in the big fancy suit.
我听从了你的建议，去追随自己的直觉。
I'm taking your advice to, quote, follow my instincts.
你看，我是个大制作人，我想让你成为一颗闪亮的瓷制明星。
See, I'm a big fancy producer and I wanna make you a shiny porcelain star.
你和你的建议，都要跟我一起去百老汇。
You and your advice are coming with me to Broadway.
去百老汇？
To Broadway?
可我喜欢待在这间浴室里。
But I like it here in this bathroom.
来吧，马桶。
Come on, Toilet.
宝贝，甜心，你会变得富有又出名，人人都会喜欢你。
Baby, sweetie, you'll be rich and famous and everyone will love you.
你在百老汇一定会一鸣惊人。
You'll make a huge splash on Broadway.
马桶，这真是你想要的吗？
Toilet, is this what you want?
我，嗯，其实我不确定。
I well, I don't
我不需要你的回答。
I won't take note for an answer.
我带你去百老汇。
I'm taking you to Broadway.
五年后。
Five years later.
欢迎各位观众，来到百老汇。
Welcome, audience, to Broadway.
现在正在詹姆斯·厄尔·琼斯剧院上演，已是第五个年头。
Now performing in its exciting fifth year at the James Earl Jones Theatre.
请欣赏今晚的演出，主角是享誉全球的Advice Toilet。
Please enjoy tonight's performance featuring the world famous Advice Toilet.
谢谢各位，全场座无虚席。
Thank you, sold out audience.
是我，Advice Toilet。
It's me, The Advice Toilet.
现在，该轮到我继续给大家提建议了——这已经是我在百老汇第五个年头了。
It's time to start giving advice just like I have been doing now for five long, long years on Broadway.
嗨，Toilet，我是你的铁粉。
Hi, Toilet, big fan.
我总觉得总是为别人操心。
I feel like I'm always focusing on others.
我的建议是：多关注自己。
My advice, focus on yourself.
Toilet，有时候我就是特别生气。
Toilet, sometimes I just feel so angry.
我的建议是，保持冷静。
My advice, Stay calm.
我有点厌倦一直给人建议了。
I'm kinda getting bored of giving advice all the time.
厕所，我假装没听见你刚才自言自语的话。
Toilet, I'm going to ignore whatever you said quietly to yourself.
跟我说说吧。
Tell me.
你得……我也不知道该怎么说了。
You are You need to I I don't know.
做你自己。
Be yourself.
这就是我的建议。
That's my advice.
厕所宝贝，是我，那个大牌百老汇制作人。
Toilet baby, it's me, the big fancy Broadway producer.
我就在舞台边上站着。
I'm standing just off stage.
你还好吗？
Are you okay?
说实话，不太好。
To be honest, no.
哦。
Oh.
那没关系。
Well that doesn't matter.
继续往前走就是了。
Just keep going.
大家都喜欢你。
People love you.
你可是名人啊。
You're famous.
而我，作为一个大牌制作人，总有一天也会出名的。
And I, as a big fancy producer, will one day be famous too.
好了，接着说吧，给点建议。
Now go on, give some advice.
回到浴室后，我满脑子都是对人生方向的幻想，但那都是很久以前的事了。
Once back in my bathroom, I was overflowing with dreams of the direction my life might take, but that was a long time ago.
我想，作为一座马桶，我本想把希望冲走，学会在低谷中生活。
I guess as a toilet, I meant to flush my hopes away and learn to live down in the dumps.
别只盯着第一个梦想，选第二个吧。
Settle not for dream number one, but number two.
不好意思，马桶。
Excuse me, Toilet.
抱歉打断你的沉思，不过我觉得该轮到我了。
Sorry to interrupt your moment of introspection, but I think I'm next.
是啊，大概吧。
Yeah, I guess.
我的建议？
My advice?
追随你的梦想吧，凯文？
Follow your dreams, Kevin?
当然，没问题。
Sure, yeah.
等等，我之前是不是已经给过这个建议了？
Wait, that was the first advice I gave to?
我啊，那个小时候叫Dude、现在长成青年叫Kevin的人？
Me, a kid named Dude, now a young adult named Kevin?
不，我还是叫Dude。
No, it's still Dude.
哎呀，Dude，我可想你了，老兄。
Well, well, Dude, I missed you, buddy.
五年过去了，你最近怎么样？
How are you five years later?
你去上医学院了，还是法学院？
Did you go to medical school or lawyer college?
没有，因为我听了你的建议，走了自己的路。
No, because I took your advice and chose my own path.
现在我 owns 一家《财富》500强公司，专门生产环保卫生纸。
Now I own a Fortune 500 company that makes eco friendly toilet paper.
对管道友好。
Easy on the pipes.
祝你健康。
Bless you.
我追随了自己的梦想。
I followed my dreams.
厕所啊，你给那么多人提过建议，可从来没停下来给自己一些建议。
Toilet, you've given so much advice to others, but you've never stopped and given advice to yourself.
所以现在，我的建议是：
So here's my advice.
选你自己的路吧， Advice Toilet。
Choose your own path, Advice Toilet.
听从你的直觉吧，Toilet。
Follow your instincts, Toilet.
多关注自己吧，Toilet。
Focus on yourself, Toilet.
多吃点纤维，Toilet。
Add more fiber to your diet, Toilet.
你没问题的。
You're all right.
别再随波逐流了。
No more going with the flow.
该是我为自己的人生做主的时候了。
It's time I do what I want with my toilet life.
是时候去追我的梦了。
Time to follow my dreams.
马桶，请告诉我们在百老汇剧院的各位，你打算为自己的生活做点什么？
Toilet, tell all of us here in this Broadway Theater, what are you gonna do for your life?
我要去竞选市长。
I'm going to run for mayor.
哇哦。
Wow.
你猜怎么着？
And guess what?
投票结果出来了，你被
The votes are in and you were
选上了。
elected.
这么快？
Already?
百老汇的时间流速可不一样。
Time flows differently on Broadway.
不过在庆祝之前，我真得先做一件事。
Now, before we can celebrate, I do really need to do one thing.
什么事？
What's that?
去趟洗手间。
Go to the bathroom.
我已经憋了五年了。
I've been holding it in for five years.
我也是。
So have I.
我们也是。
So have we.
不过，反正迟早得去，趁还没结束赶紧吧。
Well, I guess we had to get to it at some point before the end.
接下来，李和作者聊聊。
And now, Lee speaks with the author.
嘿，艾莉。
Hey, Ellie.
你最近怎么样？
How are you?
我挺好的。
I'm good.
你写了《建议马桶》这本书？
So you wrote The Advice Toilet.
是的。
Yeah.
你能跟我讲讲，这个故事的灵感是怎么来的吗？
Can you tell me how you got the idea for that story?
我想写点东西给你们，就琢磨着得想个特别搞笑的点子。
I wanted to write to you guys, so I just wanted to come up with a really funny idea.
于是我想到马桶，还有什么比马桶更搞笑的呢？
So I just thought of toilets, because what's more funny than toilets?
然后我就想，马桶能干点啥特别荒唐的事呢？
And then I thought, like, what would be something super nonsense that a toilet could do?
我就想到：说话。
And I thought, talk.
于是我就决定让马桶开口，给人提建议。
So I decided to make the toilet talk and give advice.
马桶给出的第一条建议就是，追随你的梦想，走自己的路。
The very first advice that the toilet gives dude is to follow his dreams and to choose his own path.
是的。
Yeah.
你觉得这建议靠谱吗？
Do you feel like that's good advice?
对。
Yeah.
我的意思是，对任何人来说，最重要的是自己做主，走自己的路。
I mean, like, for anybody, it's really important to just, like, choose your own words and, like, do your own thing.
别跟别人一模一样。
Don't be the same as anyone else.
做你自己就好。
Just be yourself.
我很喜欢这句话。
I love that.
你人生中有没有哪一次，特意选择了自己的路？
Has there ever been a time in your life where you specifically chose your own path?
我之前参加过一个诗歌比赛。
I was just in like a poetry contest.
很多人都在写搞笑又荒唐的诗。
A lot of people were just like writing funny and silly poems.
我想写一首真正对我有意义的诗。
I wanted to do a poem that actually mattered to me.
太棒了。
Amazing.
你的诗写的是什么？
What was your poem about?
写的是海浪，因为海浪真的让我特别平静。
Waves because waves really calm me down.
我喜欢去海边，因为能亲耳听到海浪的声音。
I love going to the beach because, like, I can actually hear them in person.
是的。
Yeah.
我能听见风声和海浪，还能感觉到浪花拍在脚趾上。
And I can just, like, hear the wind and waves and then feel the waves at my toes.
那关于追随梦想呢？
And what about follow your dreams?
如果按照你自己的建议——厕所，来追随梦想，这对你来说意味着什么？
If you were going to follow that advice from your personal advice, Toilet, what would that mean for you?
我特别喜欢写作。
I love writing.
我的一个梦想是当个作家，我正努力在12岁之前成为一名真正的作家。
So one of my dreams is to be, like, an author, and I'm trying to be like a real author before I turn 12.
你为了实现这个目标都在做些什么？
What are you doing to try to accomplish that?
我每天都会写一个新的故事。
I write like a new story every day.
所以我手上堆满了写好的故事。
So I just have like piles of stories that I just have on hand.
我大部分时间写小说，但有时候情绪特别多，想把它们释放出来，就会写首诗，把内心的感受全写在纸上。
Most of the time I do fiction, but sometimes if I have like a lot of emotions and I need to get them out, I just write a poem that really like explains my feelings and I can just get it out on a piece of paper.
听你这么说，我敢肯定，你每天坚持写作，有这么深的动机，还投入了这么多努力，你早就已经是作家了。
Well, I can tell you right now, based on everything that you're saying to me about how you write every day and the reasons you write and how much effort you're putting into it, you are already an author.
不需要等哪篇作品正式出版，你才配称作家。
You don't need a professional story published to be one.
你现在已经就是了。
You already are one.
谢谢。
Thanks.
你是不是那种别人总会来找你讨建议的人？或者你自己很擅长给别人建议？
Are you the kind of person that people come to for advice, or are you good at giving advice yourself?
算是吧。
I mean, yeah.
我觉得是的，因为我还在学校的校报上负责一个专栏，大家都叫我‘知心姐姐’。
I would say I am because I'm also in my school newspaper, and I'm kind of the advice girl.
这其实也是我想到要提供建议的一个来源。
So that's another, like, way I got the idea for advice.
你的专栏有名字吗？
Does your column have a name?
我给它取名叫‘万事通小姐’，因为我什么都知道。
I named it miss know it all, because, like, I know everything.
这名字太棒了。
That is so good.
哇。
Wow.
作为一位高产的作家和建议女王，你有什么建议给那些想为《Story Pirates》播客写故事、却不知从何下手的孩子吗？
As a prolific writer and the queen of advice, what kind of advice can you give to a kid who wants to write their own story for the Story Pirates podcast but doesn't know where to start?
就像我一样。
Like I do.
你可以随便看看周围的事物，从中冒出一个点子，或者去问问别人有什么想法，再以此为基础发展出自己的创意。
You could just, like, look at something and come up with an idea, or you can, like, ask other people for, like, ideas and then make your own ideas off of it.
我有时候就这么做。
That's what I do sometimes.
我会问朋友要一些疯狂的点子，挑几个用上，然后把这些拼成一个属于自己的故事。
I ask my friends, like, for some crazy ideas, and then I use some of the ideas, and then I make my own story out of it.
太棒了。
Amazing.
艾莉，你真的非常有智慧。
Ellie, you are extremely wise.
谢谢你和我们分享‘建议厕所’，也谢谢你和我们分享你的建议。
Thank you for sharing the Advice Toilet with us, and thank you for sharing your advice with us.
不客气。
Of course.
再见。
Bye.
再见。
Bye.
广告后马上回来，接着是给大人的新词环节。
We'll be right back after New Words for the Grown Ups.
欢迎回到《故事之爱》，我们在这里分享孩子们写的故事，并一起讨论。
Welcome back to Story Love, where we take stories written by kids, and we talk about them.
在故事海盗团，彼得，
Now here at Story Pirates, Peter Mhmm.
我们每年会收到成千上万篇故事。
We get tens of thousands of stories a year.
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