口袋/邪恶日历

你可以乘电梯到顶层。

You can take the elevator up to the Top Floor.

终于到了。

Finally.

到顶层。

To the Top Floor.

哇。

Wow.

这个办公室真大。

This office is huge.

到了。

There.

那个背对着我的、坐在一张滑稽巨大的办公椅上的人，一定就是老板。

That must be the boss sitting in that comically large desk chair facing away from me.

打扰一下。

Excuse me.

你负责吗？

Are you in charge?

是的。

Yep.

那现在走开吧。

So go away now.

我不会走的。

I will not.

他们派了两个随机的人来代替我的贴身助手。

I was sent two random guys instead of my pocket.

现在我要我的钱。

And now I want my money.

那些人是你贴身助手的制造者。

Those guys were your pocket makers.

什么？

What?

嗯，没人告诉过他们。

Well, no one told them that.

他们看起来对任何事情都一无所知。

They didn't seem to know anything about anything.

一个不知道自己是怎么到我家的，另一个是个播客。

One didn't know how he got to my house, and the other was a podcaster.

你是在逗我吗？

Are you kidding me?

是的。

Yep.

现在走吧。

So go away now.

你以为你是谁？

Who do you think you are?

那些人是你口袋的制造者。

Those guys were your pocket makers.

等等。

Wait.

你为什么一遍又一遍地说同样的事情？

Why are you saying the same things over and over again?

我觉得是时候让你把椅子转过来了。

I think it's time for you to turn that chair around.

转过椅子，天哪。

Turning your chair and Oh, my goodness.

你不是人。

You aren't a person.

你是个拿着录音机的刺猬？

You're a porcupine holding a voice recorder?

全是老鼠。

All rats.

那个录音机一直给我添麻烦。

That tape recorder has been giving me trouble.

这到底是什么意思？

What's the meaning of this?

你不明白。

You don't understand.

我一直以来都梦想着不仅仅是一只被人带着、摸摸、说好可爱的小刺猬。

I've always dreamed of being more than just a porcupine that people carry and pet and say how cute I am.

我也有希望和梦想。

I have hopes and dreams.

我曾想成为一名著名的踢踏舞者，但没人愿意免费教我。

I wanted to be a famous tap dancer, but no one will teach me for free.

于是我想到一个聪明的点子来赚钱。

So I came up with a clever plan to make money.

制造一个虚假的产品让人们购买，然后我派几个困惑的人代替产品寄出，并且不让他们退款。

Create a fake product that people buy, then I send a couple of confused guys instead of the product, and I don't allow them to get a refund.

这就是你的计划？

That's your plan?

我确信有更容易赚钱的方法。

I'm sure there are easier ways to make money.

而现在你来了，你是第一个真正来面对我的人。

And now you're here, the first person to actually come and confront me.

我想我的把戏被识破了。

I guess the jig is up.

我得想个别的快速致富的点子来实现我的梦想。

I'll have to figure out some other get rich quick scheme to fulfill my dreams.

我可能有个主意。

I might have an idea.

我其实是个踢踏舞老师。

I'm actually a tap dance teacher.

我可以教你跳踢踏舞，作为回报，你能当我宠物刺猬吗？

I could teach you how to tap dance, and maybe in return, you could be my pet porcupine.

拥有一只刺猬是我最大的梦想。

Having a porcupine is my biggest dream.

什么？

What?

你会这么做？

You'd do that

为了我？

for me?

当然。

Sure.

我觉得你为了实现梦想经历了这么多，我感到很抱歉，现在我们可以互相帮助。

I feel bad you had to go through all of this for your dream, and I say now we can help each other.

你觉得怎么样？

What do you say?

我同意。

I'll do it.

我不再卖口袋了。

No more selling pockets for me.

哦，太好了。

Oh, yay.

我简直不敢相信。

I can't believe it.

哇。

Wow.

多么精彩的结局啊。

What an incredible ending.

辣椒播客 guy。

Chili podcast guy.

嘿。

Hey.

谢谢大家收听《Chili Time》。

Thanks for listening to Chili Time, everyone.

我是你们的主持人，盒子里的男人。

I've been your host, Guy in a Box.

滚出我的办公室。

Get out of my office.

点赞并订阅。

Like and subscribe.

结束。

The end.

现在，李将与作者对话。

And now, Lee speaks with the author.

Scarlet，我非常兴奋能和你聊聊你的故事。

Scarlet, I'm so excited to talk to you about your story.

我也很期待聊聊这个。

I'm excited to talk about it too.

所以你写了《口袋》。

So you wrote pockets.

是的。

Yeah.

你能告诉我你是怎么想到这个点子的吗？

Can you tell me how you got the idea for it?

我父母总是说，他们不喜欢我们把自己堆满东西，还常说一句可笑的话，嘿。

My parents always say they don't like it when we pile stuff on us, and they say this silly thing that, hey.

我们又不是桌子。

We're not a table.

我不知道。

I don't know.

我只是觉得这很有趣。

I just thought it was funny.

他们说我们不是桌子？

They say we're not a table?

是的。

Yeah.

他们不喜欢我们把东西堆在他们身上，宁愿我们把东西放在台面上，而不是直接说：嘿，帮我拿一下。

They don't like us piling stuff on them, and they'd rather us put it on counters instead of just saying, here, hold this.

太棒了。

That's amazing.

所以，口袋可以作为台面、桌子或父母的替代品。

So and an alternative to a countertop or a table or a parent is a pocket.

这太具有前瞻性了。

It's so future forward.

你能解释一下刺猬吗？

Can you shed some light on the porcupine?

你知道，我们稍微窥见了它们的希望和梦想。

You know, we get a little bit of a glimpse into their hopes and dreams.

但为什么你觉得在故事结尾加入这一点很重要？

But why did you feel like that was important to include at the end of the story?

我觉得他发明并售卖口袋一定有原因。

Well, I felt that there must be a reason why he invented and just selling pockets.

原因是因为现在没人再免费给刺猬钱了，他气坏了。

And the reason is because no one is giving money away for free to porcupines anymore, and he's so mad.

他那可怜又渺小的刺猬人生中，唯一想要的就是上一些猫舞课，好去好莱坞或百老汇跳猫舞。

All he wants in his poor tiny porcupine life is some cat dance lessons so he can go to Hollywood or Broadway and cat dance.

他只是在欺骗每一个他遇到的人。

He's just scamming everyone he sees.

他总是说：来下单吧。

He's like, come order this.

然后几周后，我收到的不是口袋，而是一个人。

And then a few weeks later, I got a person instead of a pocket.

真糟糕。

Boo.

我也很喜欢那个送口袋的快递员，他其实是个辣椒播客。

I also love the pocket delivery guy who's actually a chili podcaster.

如果真有一个辣椒播客节目，你会听吗？

Would you listen to a chili podcast if there really was one?

我想我会听那个辣椒播客节目。

I think I would listen to the chili podcast.

我和我妹妹阿黛尔，她提交了一个叫《海鲜》的故事。

Me and my sister Adele who sent in a story called Seafood.

我们为小妹妹黑泽尔制作了一个假播客，因为她特别喜欢在她的yodo上听东西。

We have been making kind of a fake podcast for our little sister Hazel because she just like listening to things on her yodo a lot.

天哪。

Oh my gosh.

这个播客讲的是什么？

What is the podcast about?

我和阿黛尔给它取名叫OMG，内容是关于动物的一些有趣小知识。

Me and Adele named it OMG, and it's about little fun facts about animals.

这既甜蜜又特别搞笑。

That is so sweet and so funny at the same time.

在我们的播客里，我们采访了一只狗，其实就是我们家的狗对着电话沉重地喘气。

In our podcast, we included a interview with a dog, and it's just our dogs at our house breathing heavily into the phone.

你们会假装听懂它们在说什么吗？还是采访者根本不懂狗语？

And do you pretend like you can tell what they're saying, or do the interviewers not speak dog?

在我们做完那个轻松的环节后，我们会稍微把它翻译一下。

After we do the breezy having thing, we, like, kinda translate it.

你听起来好像充满了各种创意项目。

You sound like you're, like, full of creative projects.

我的意思是，我同时在做很多事。

I mean, I have a bunch of things going at once.

是的。

So yeah.

对。

Yeah.

你是那种总是寻找新的有趣创意事情来做的人，还是只是有些想法让你无法抗拒？

Are you like the sort of person that's always looking for new fun creative things to do, or do you just have ideas that you can't resist?

是那些我无法抗拒的想法。

Ideas that I can't resist.

我总是会开始画一幅画、做刺绣，或者写个小故事。

I'm always like starting a drawing or starting an embroidery or like a little story.

听起来你的家人也很有趣。

It sounds like your family's really funny too.

你们平时经常一起笑、开玩笑吗？

Like, do you guys laugh a lot and make jokes together?

是的。

Yes.

我们总是喜欢互相逗趣。

We always like to be silly with each other.

你们家人之间最搞笑、最奇怪的内部笑话是什么？

What's like the funniest, weirdest inside joke that you have with your family?

我和我姐妹小时候编了一种假语言，只用‘Morocco’这个词，就像一种乐器一样，我们时不时就会突然喊‘Morocco，Morocco，Morocco’。

Me and my sisters made up this fake language where we only use the word Morocco, like the musical instrument when we were younger, and we just, like, for random times, just say Morocco, Morocco, Morocco.

到现在还是这样吗？

To this day?

是的。

Yes.

我们到现在还在这么做。

We still do it.

非常感谢你，斯嘉丽。

Thank you so much, Scarlett.

和你聊天真好，谢谢你们让我们讲述你的故事。

It's great to talk to you, and thanks for letting us perform your story.

谢谢。

Thank you.

和你聊天真的非常有趣。

It was really fun to talk to you too.

再见。

Bye.

再见。

Bye.

好的。

Okay.

我只是觉得太棒了

I just What a great

故事。

story.

哦，那真是太精彩了。

Oh, that was fantastic.

所以，彼得，你有没有想过邀请谁来看电影首映？

So, Peter, have you given any thought to whom you might want to invite to the movie premiere?

是的，彼得。

Yes, Peter.

我也有同样的问题。

I have the same question.

嗯，我真的很想和你一起去，梅根。

Well, I would love to go with you, Megan.

很高兴。

Happy to.

作为一名演员，把握这些社交机会很重要。

As an actor, it's important to take these networking opportunities.

这都是工作的一部分。

All part of the job.

当然，我也很想带蕾切尔一起去。

Of course, I'd also love to bring Rachel.

我同意。

I accept.

我显然是格特鲁德的头号粉丝。

I am clearly Gertrude's biggest fan.

但另一方面，我不忍心把梅根落下。

But then again, I'd hate to leave Meghan behind.

那就别落下她。

Then don't.

但我也不忍心把蕾切尔落下。

But I'd also hate to leave Rachel behind.

那就这么定了。

Then it's settled.

对不起，梅根。

Sorry, Megan.

我因为

I because

西格弗里德也喜欢独立电影。

Siegfried also loves independent films.

西格弗里德？

Siegfried?

天哪。

Oh, gosh.

这有点棘手。

This is tricky.

我不想伤害任何人的感情。

I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings.

哦，我知道。

Oh, I know.

我要不去吃个午饭，别想这事了？

Why don't I go have lunch and not think about it?

但是

But

午餐吃图米尔克煎饼？

Turmilk pancakes for lunch?

好主意。

Great idea.

我回飞船那儿给自己做点。

I'll run back to the ship and make myself some.

好的。

Okay.

再见。

Bye.

这真是个棘手的局面，不是吗？

This is quite the situation, isn't it?

确实如此。

Quite.

我知道彼得是好意，但你看他无意中让两位亲密的朋友对立了。

I know that Peter means well, but look what he's done, unwittingly pitted two dear friends against each other.

是的。

Yeah.

如果他直接做个决定，情况会好得多。

It would be much better if he just made a choice.

我最不希望的就是这么一件小事让我们之间产生隔阂。

The last thing I want is for such a trivial matter to come between us.

我完全同意。

I couldn't agree more.

那这意味着你会给我一个额外的名额吗？

So does that mean you'll give me the plus one?

绝对不行。

Absolutely not.

我猜你也不会就这么把它给我。

And I don't suppose that you would just give it to me.

我不会的。

That I would not.

我们似乎陷入了僵局。

We seem to be at an impasse.

看来我们无能为力了。

I guess there's nothing to be done.

除非——听我说，我们可以效仿格特鲁德在她第四部电影《女士们，这是一场战争》中的做法。

Unless, and hear me out, we could do what Gertrude did in her fourth film, Ladies, This Means War.

就是那个主角没有暗中争夺公司最高职位，而是公开宣战，最终彼此建立了持久尊重的那部吗？

Is that the one where the main protagonist, instead of covertly vying for the top position at their company, confidently declare open war and in the process found a lasting respect for each other?

就是那部。

That's the one.

蕾切尔，这真是个绝妙的主意。

Rachel, that is a ridiculously great idea.

好吧，朋友。

Alright, friend.

谁先说服彼得给个额外名额谁就赢？

First one to convince Peter to give them the plus one wins?

一言为定。

You're on.

但首先，那边那是什么？

But first, what's that over there?

哪儿？

Where?

明白了。

Gotcha.

小把戏，但我佩服。

Cheap trick, but I respect it.

奶油煎饼。

Buttermilk pancakes.

你是个值得尊敬的对手，但你不是我的对手

You were a worthy adversary, but you were no match

的嘴。

for my mouth.

现在，

Now,

我刚才在做什么？

what was I doing?

灯灭了。

The lights went out.

发生什么事了？

What's happening?

请打聚光灯。

Spotlight, please.

哇，梅根。

Woah, Megan.

船上餐厅里一直有个小舞台吗？

Has there always been a small stage in the ship to dining room?

那是在二十世纪中后期，我还是个小女孩。

The year was the late early middle, early late twentieth century, and I was but a girl.

爸爸，你还记得我小时候你问我长大后想做什么时，我是怎么说的吗？

Papa, do you remember what I said when you asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up?

记得，孩子。

Yes, child.

我怎么可能忘记？

How could I forget?

你告诉我，你需要时间来思考这样一个重要的问题。

You told me that you would need time to ponder such an important question.

是的。

Yes.

然而我不再犹豫了，因为我清楚自己想成为什么样的人。

Yet I ponder no more, for I know what it is I wish to be.

说吧，孩子。

Speak, child.

是什么？

What is it?

一位多重身份的表演者、作家、导演和社交媒体影响者。

A multi hyphenate performer, writer, director, and social media influencer.

但是，孩子，这样的多面工作在哪里能实现呢？

But, child, where could such multifaceted work be done?

当然，没有哪个地方能让你

Surely, there is no place where you

同时成为所有这些身份。

could be all those things at once.

哦，但确实有啊，爸爸。

Oh, but there is papa.

我能做真实自己的唯一地方，就是电影首映式的红毯。

The only place I can be my true self is the red carpet at a movie premiere.

众神得赞颂与见证。

Gods be praised and seen.

哇。

Wow.

梅根，戏剧的力量

Megan, the power of

让我深受感动。

theater has moved me.

我根本没想到，参加电影首映竟是你毕生的梦想。

I had no idea that going to a movie premiere is one of your lifelong dreams.

是的。

Yes.

嗯，还有在奥斯卡颁奖礼上无视季后赛音乐。

Well, that and ignoring the playoff music at the Oscars.

真巧，因为我今晚有一张额外的票去那场电影首映。

And what a coincidence because I have a plus one for that movie premiere tonight.

哦，对了。

Oh, that's right.

梅根，我有个问题想问你。

Megan, I have a question for you.

我在听。

I'm listening.

你想要

Would you like to

嘿。

hey.

等一下。

Wait a minute.

你听到什么声音了吗？

Do you hear something?

我没有听到。

I do not.

你刚才想说什么？

What were you about to say?

听起来像是巨大的锯子在

It sorta sounds like a giant saw cutting

从地板下绕着我锯一个大圈。

a big circle around me through the floor.

我确定没什么事。

I'm sure it is nothing.

快点。

Quickly now.

你刚才想问我什么问题？

What was the question you're about to ask me?

哦，对了。

Oh, right.

你想和我一起去Oh，

Do you wanna go with me to Oh,

你好，彼得。

hello, Peter.

拉切尔，刚才发生了什么？

Rachel, what just happened?

没人知道。

Nobody knows.

为什么不看看这个呢？

Why not look at this instead?

哇哦。

Woah.

这看起来有点像旧的轮值表，但上面有个大漩涡。

That sort of looks like the old chore wheel, but with a big swirl on it.

是的。

Yes.

这是我以前当催眠师助手时的东西。

This is from my old days as a hypnotist's roadie.

现在看它转得更厉害了。

Now look as it gets swirlier.

哇哦。

Woah.

彼得，听我的声音。

Peter, listen to my voice.

是的，蕾切尔。

Yes, Rachel.

当我打个响指，你会产生一种无法抗拒的冲动，想要邀请我，蕾切尔，

When I snap my fingers, you'll be filled with the insatiable urge to invite me, Rachel,

到我们的

to our

特别递送。

Special delivery.

我有一个给Rachel的特快专递？

I have a special delivery for Rachel?

是的。

Yes.

我就是Rachel。

I'm Rachel.

外面有个大箱子。

It's a big old box right outside.

快点。

Hurry up.

里面好像有什么东西烧着了。

Smells like there's something burning in there.

哦，不。

Oh, no.

我最好戴上我的大帽子，跑出去看看。

I'd better put on my giant hat and run and see.

我来了。

Here I go.

我跑步时就这样呼吸。

I breathe like this when I run.

是的。

Yeah.

你先走吧。

You go ahead.

我就待在这儿。

I'll just stay here

摘掉这个假胡子。

and remove this fake beard.

梅根的揭晓。

Meghan reveal.

现在，彼得，在我们被如此无礼地打断之前，你本来要问我些什么。

Now, Peter, before we were so rudely interrupted, you were going to ask me something.

彼得？

Peter?

彼得，你睡着了吗？

Peter, are you asleep?

你不是彼得。

You're not Peter.

你是一捆稻草，穿着彼得的衣服。

You're a bale of hay dressed in Peter's clothes.

干得漂亮，瑞秋。

Well played, Rachel.

但游戏还没结束。

But the game is not over yet.

我来了。

Here I come.

广告后，我们继续为成年人播放的内容。

We will be back after a few words for the grown ups.

嘿，大人们。

Hey, grown ups.

我是李。

Lee here.

来看《故事海盗》的现场演出吧。

See Story Pirates live.

我们精彩的巡演团队，包括埃里克，今年春天将访问一些东海岸城市，表演你们在播客中最爱的歌曲。

Our amazing touring cast, including Eric, will be visiting some East Coast cities this spring to perform some of your favorite songs from the podcast.

他们还会接受现场孩子们的建议，即兴创作一个只演出一次的全新故事。

And they'll take suggestions from kids in the audience to create a brand new story that will only be seen once.

最棒的是，我们所有即将上演的演出都在周末，不用担心影响上学或睡前作息。

Best of all, all of our upcoming shows are on weekends, so no need to worry about school nights or bedtime routines.

我们很快将在宾夕法尼亚州芒豪（匹兹堡外）、俄亥俄州辛辛那提、新罕布什尔州朴茨茅斯、马萨诸塞州梅德福德（波士顿外）和康涅狄格州里奇菲尔德与你们见面。

We'll see you soon in Munhall, Pennsylvania, just outside of Pittsburgh Cincinnati, Ohio, Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Medford, Massachusetts, just outside of Boston, and Richfield, Connecticut.

所有演出的门票现已在 storypirates.com/live 开售。

Tickets to all the shows are on sale now at storypirates.com/live.

好的。

Okay.

我做到了。

I did it.

现在要把彼得从我的大帽子里面弄出来。

Now to get Peter out of my giant hat.

拉切尔，真旋转。

Rachel, so swirly.

哦，他还在催眠状态。

Oh, he's still hypnotized.

彼得，醒醒。

Peter, snap out of it.

发生什么事了？

What happened?

彼得，你有什么话要对我说吗？

Peter, do you have anything to say to me?

我有。

I do.

我突然强烈地想邀请你，Rachel。

I suddenly have an insatiable urge to invite you, Rachel.

是吗？

Yes?

去参加一个

To a

特别投递？

Special delivery?

是的。

Yes.

我在等。

I wait.

抱歉。

Sorry.

什么？

What?

特别投递？

A special delivery?

抱歉。

Sorry.

我不知道我为什么这么说。

I don't know why I said that.

哦，糟了。

Oh, shoot.

梅根打断了催眠。

Megan interrupted the hypnotism.

你催眠我了？

You hypnotized me?

是的。

Yes.

我会再做一次。

And I'm going to do it again.

听我的声音。

Listen to my voice.

啰啰嗦嗦啰啰嗦嗦啰啰嗦嗦。

Blah blah blah blah blah.

睡吧。

Sleep.

彼得？

Peter?

彼得？

Peter?

哦，不。

Oh, no.

他被双重催眠了。

He's double hypnotized.

太好了。

Great.

而我唯一的选择就是对他进行潜入。

And my only choice is to do an inception on him.

现在我必须进入彼得的梦境。

Now I must go into Peter's dreams.

哦，

Oh,

我刚刚做了一个奇怪的梦。

what a strange dream I was just having.

我本来打算

I was going to

去看电影首映，却不知道该带谁一起去。

a movie premiere, I couldn't figure out whom to take with me.

这听起来真让人压力大。

That sounds stressful.

那个华夫饼长得像蕾切尔。

It was Giant Waffle that looks like Rachel.

既然她这么喜欢格特鲁德·格什温，也许你应该邀请蕾切尔。

Maybe you should invite Rachel since she's such a big fan of Gertrude Gershwin.

是的。

Yeah.

这是个好主意。

That is a good idea.

我觉得我

I think I

或者你可以邀请梅根。

Or you could invite Megan.

她把一生都奉献给了表演行业。

She's given her whole life to the acting industry.

说真的，这也是个好主意，那个看起来像梅根的烤火鸡腿。

Say, that's a good point too, roasted turkey leg that looks like Megan.

梅根，你怎么进入彼得的梦里的？

Megan, how did you get into Peter's dreams?

哦，你以为你是这艘船上唯一能做潜入的人吗？

Oh, you think you're the only one on this ship that can do an inception.

嘿，大家。

Hey, guys.

我为什么会在梦里看到火鸡腿和华夫饼？

Why am I dreaming about turkey legs and waffles?

糟了。

Uh-oh.

我忘了婴儿也该睡午觉了

I forgot it was baby with

还有长胡子的那家伙的午睡时间。

a mustache's nap time too.

我们一定是不小心让他们的梦境纠缠在一起了。

We must have accidentally entangled their dreams.

这就是我为什么在这里的原因。

That's why I'm here.

是那个巨大的邪恶湿尿布。

It's the giant evil wet diaper.

发生什么事了？

What is happening?

跑！

Run.

彼得，快点。

Peter, come on.

哇哦。

Woah.

会跑的华夫饼？

A running waffle?

太疯狂了。

That's wild.

这边走。

This way.

通过这个旋转门。

Through this revolving door.

一只火鸡腿在跑？

A turkey leg running?

什么？

What?

这倒说得通一点了。

That actually makes a little more sense.

看啊，

Look,

我们走在红地毯上。

we're on a red carpet.

彼得，要去

Peter, going to

电影首映是你的梦想吗？

a movie premiere is your dream?

不是。

No.

这是我的噩梦。

It's my nightmare.

彼得。

Peter.

盖尔温小姐。

Miss Gershwin.

我告诉过你可以带一位嘉宾，但你这里带了三位。

I told you you could bring a plus one, but here you are, plus three.

一个华夫饼，一根火鸡腿，还有一个长着胡子在打盹的婴儿。

A waffle, a turkey leg, and a napping baby with a mustache.

我不知道发生了什么。

I don't know what's going on.

我真的很抱歉。

I'm so sorry.

我不知道该怎么办。

I didn't know what to do.

红毯，把他们带过来。

Red carpet, get them.

红毯像一条巨蛇一样竖了起来。

The red carpet gets reared up like a giant snake.

现在它要吃掉你们了。

And now it's going to eat you.

梅根，这变得

Megan, this is getting

失控了。

out of hand.

你可能是对的。

You might be right.

尿布又回来了。

The diaper is back.

这简直是一场噩梦。

This is a nightmare.

好吧。

Okay.

我们显然让彼得压力很大。

We're clearly stressing Peter out.

是的。

Yes.

这事有点过头了。

This has gone a little too far.

我们来做我们来这儿要做的事，结束这一切。

Let's do what we came here to do and end this.

同意。

Agreed.

嘿，彼得？

Hey, Peter?

嗯？

Yes?

你应该邀请梅根。

You should invite Megan.

蕾切尔。

Rachel.

现在醒醒。

Now wake up.

等等。

Wait.

你刚才说蕾切尔？

Did you say Rachel?

你刚才说梅根？

Did you say Megan?

我醒来了。

I'm waking up.

真是个奇怪的梦。

What a strange dream.

我怎么回

How'd I get back

我的赛车床上了？

in my race car bed?

进来吧。

Come in.

咚咚，彼得。

Knock knock, Peter.

该起床了。

Rise and shine.

有人在说梦话。

Someone was talking in their sleep.

梅根，蕾切尔，你们怎么在这里？

Megan, Rachel, what are you doing here?

彼得，我们只是想说，如果我们在这个额外嘉宾的事情上让你感到压力，我们很抱歉。

Peter, we just wanted to say that we're sorry if we stressed you out about this whole plus one thing.

我不需要去。

I don't need to go.

今天和蕾切尔较量真是太有趣了。

Battling Rachel today was so fun.

我有点累了。

I'm sort of spent.

我也是。

Me too.

我不需要去见我的偶像，因为我的所有偶像都在这艘船上。

I don't need to meet my hero because all my heroes live right here on the ship.

哦

Oh,

嗯，我本来想说，你们两个去比我去更好。

well, I was gonna say that I think you two should go instead of me.

其实我对她的电影不太感兴趣。

I'm actually not really into her movies.

但如果你不想去的话，我觉得西格弗里德会。

But if you don't want to, I think Siegfried would

你会喜欢的。

You'll love take it.

哦，好吧。

Oh, okay.

很好。

Good.

但首先，我们来讲另一个故事吧？

But first, how about we do another story?

好的。

Yeah.

接下来，请作者来为大家介绍这个故事。

And here to introduce it is the author.

你好。

Hello.

我叫艾登。

I'm Aidan.

我六岁，住在伦敦。

I'm six, and I live in London.

这是我的故事，《邪恶的日历》。

It is my story, the evil calendar.

天啊。

Heaven.

该去厨房开家庭会议了。

Time for a family meeting in the kitchen.

妈妈，爸爸，最后一次说，我不知道Steely Dan是谁，也不想听他的歌。

Mom, dad, for the last time, I don't know who Steely Dan is, and I don't wanna listen to him.

不，亲爱的。

No, sweetheart.

不是因为那个。

It's not about that.

哦，那是因为什么？

Oh, what is it?

你爸爸和我召开这次会议，是为了谈谈家庭日历。

Your father and I called this meeting to talk about the family calendar.

日历？

The calendar?

我们决定要减少屏幕时间。

We've decided that we need to cut down on screen time.

所以我们删掉了手机上的日历。

So we've deleted our phone calendars.

并用这个传统的墙式日历代替了它。

And replaced it with this good old fashioned wall calendar.

真有趣。

Fun.

对吧？

Right?

但我才上三年级。

But I'm only in third grade.

日历太让人困惑了。

Calendars are so confusing.

才不是呢。

Hardly.

看。

Look.

你只要拿支铅笔，把所有已经过去的日期划掉，第一个没被划掉的日期就是今天。

You just take a pencil and cross out all of the days that already happened, and the first day that's uncrossed out is today.

所以你看这里。

So look here.

这是第一个没有划掉的，所以说明今天是星期一。

This is the first one not crossed out, so that means it's Monday.

很简单。

Easy.

对吧？

Right?

我想是吧。

I guess.

好了，该准备去上学了。

Well, time to get ready for school.

那真奇怪。

That was weird.

妈妈，爸爸，你们刚才听到了吗？

Mom, dad, did you two hear that?

我只听到我们没听史蒂利·丹的声音。

The only thing I hear is the sound of us not listening to Steely Dan.

日历上的划掉标记移动了。

The crossings out on the calendar moved.

它们是从上到中再到下移动的。

They're going from top to middle to bottom.

这太让人困惑了。

This is so confusing.

现在日历上显示今天是星期六？

Now the calendar says it's Saturday?

你刚才是不是说今天是

Did you just say it's

星期六？

Saturday?

你的足球比赛今天举行。

Your soccer game is today.

大家都上车。

Everyone get in the car.

但我以为今天是星期一。

But I thought today was Monday.

亲爱的，你在开玩笑吗？

Darling, are you joking?

你错了，埃文。

You're wrong, Evan.

今天不是星期一。

It's not Monday today.

今天是星期六。

It's Saturday.

但日历上写着是星期六，并不意味着就真的是星期六。

But it can't be Saturday just because the calendar says it is.

埃文，日历本来就是用来查看日期的。

Evan, that's literally what a calendar is for.

你看看它，然后

You look at it, and

第一个没有被划掉的日期就是今天。

the first date that's not crossed off is today.

我们刚刚已经跟你解释过了。

We just explained it to you.

但今天

But today

哇哦。

Whoo.

那是我的

That's my

男孩。

boy.

我们到了

Here we are at the

重大比赛。

big game.

太激动了。

How exciting.

加油，埃文。

Go, Evan.

哇哦。

Whoo.

摩布，爸爸，这里没人。

Mob, dad, no one's here.

就我一个人站在足球场中央。

It's just me alone standing in the middle of a soccer field.

你知道吗？

You know what?

现在发生的事太清楚了。

It's so clear what's happening.

哦，谢天谢地。

Oh, thank goodness.

我们去上学吧。

Let's go to school.

另一支球队太害怕了，根本没来。

The other team was so scared, they didn't even show up.

踢球吧，孩子。

Kick the ball, son.

但是

But

让我们看点儿干劲儿。

Let's see some hustle.

好吧。

Fine.

我迫不及待想看接下来这五十分钟的比赛。

I can't wait to watch the next fifty minutes of this game.

五十分钟？

Fifty minutes?