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水非常充足。
Water is abundant.
我们用它来洗澡、倒水喝、冲马桶。
We take showers, fill our glasses, and flush our toilets with it.
但假如某天早上你打开水龙头，却什么水都流不出来呢？
But what if one morning you try to turn on the tap and nothing comes out?
这已经是许多人正在面对的现实。
That is a reality that many people already face.
对世界上许多地方的人来说，正常生活已经不复存在。
For much of the world, normal is gone.
当我们的最重要资源枯竭时，会发生什么？
What happens when our most vital resource runs out?
请收听短波广播了解详情。
Find out on shortwave.
请在NPR应用或您收听播客的任何平台收听。
Listen in the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.
这是TED电台节目。
This is the TED Radio Hour.
每周带来突破性的TED演讲。
Each week, groundbreaking TED Talks.
我们现在的工作是大胆畅想。
Our job now is to dream big.
在TED大会上发表。
Delivered at TED conferences.
以实现我们想要的未来。
To bring about the future we want to see.
遍及全球。
Around the world.
以理解我们是谁。
To understand who we are.
从这些演讲中，我们为您带来令人惊喜的演讲者和思想。
From those talks, we bring you speakers and ideas that will surprise you.
你根本不知道会发现什么。
You just don't know what you're gonna find.
挑战你。
Challenge you.
我们真的必须问自己，为什么这值得注意？
We truly have to ask ourselves, like, why is it noteworthy?
甚至改变你。
And even change you.
我真的感觉自己变成了另一个人。
I literally feel like I'm a different person.
是的。
Yes.
你有吗
Do you
这种感觉吗？
feel that way?
值得传播的想法。
Ideas worth spreading.
来自TED和NPR。
From TED and NPR.
我是马努什·扎莫罗迪。
I'm Manoush Zamorodi.
今天在节目中，我们要学会管理情绪，不让情绪控制我们。
Today on the show, managing our emotions so they don't manage us.
但我们会先讲一个关于小提琴的故事。
But we start with a story about a violin.
各位女士们、先生们，早上好。
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
欢迎
And welcome
苏富比在纽约举办了一场斯特拉迪瓦里小提琴的拍卖会。
Sotheby's to in New York held an auction for a Stradivarius.
乔阿金·马·斯特拉迪瓦里小提琴，一件声音的杰作，我们从800万美元起拍，价格迅速上涨。
The Joaquin Ma Stradivarius, a masterpiece of sound, and we can start the bidding here at $8,000,000 at $8,000,000 at $8,000,000 rose quickly.
850万美元。
At 8,500,000
一些来自匿名客户的电话竞标。
Some from anonymous clients phoning in.
900万美元。
9,000,000.
我有埃拉出价900万美元。
I have Ella at $9,000,000.
已经到900万美元了。
At $9,000,000 already.
数字。
Numbers.
现在是950万美元。
At 9,500,000 now.
继续加价。
And up.
九百万美元。
At 9,000,000.
成交。
Sold.
一千万美元。
$10,000,000.
那么，是什么让斯特拉迪瓦里小提琴如此珍贵？
So what makes a Stradivarius so valuable?
首先，它们非常稀有。
Well, for one thing, they're very rare.
如今据信仅存约600把斯特拉迪瓦里小提琴。
Only about 600 Stradivarius violins are believed to exist today.
但或许更重要的是它们所发出的声音。
But perhaps more important are the sounds that they produce.
音乐家们推崇其精湛的工艺，认为没有任何其他小提琴能媲美其丰富的音色。
Musicians swear by their exquisite craftsmanship and say no other violin can match their rich tones.
斯特拉迪瓦里小提琴是一种能够创造魔幻音乐的乐器，它能将我们带入一种境界，为聆听者和演奏者本身带来美。
A Stradivarius is this instrument that is capable of of creating this magical music that transports us and creates beauty in the world for those who who listen to it and for for the person playing it as well.
但关键是。
But here's the thing.
即使是一把斯特拉迪瓦里小提琴，如果演奏得不好，听起来也会很糟糕。
Even a Stradivarius can sound terrible if it's played poorly.
你有没有听过有人把小提琴拉错方式？
Have you ever heard someone play a violin the wrong way?
哦，有啊。
Oh, yeah.
那简直是一种折磨。
It's painful.
求你了，别再拉了。
Please stop.
痛苦这个词再贴切不过了。
Painful is the is the perfect word.
对吧？
Right?
因为如果你不会演奏这种乐器，它确实会带来痛苦。
Because if you don't know how to play that instrument, it can cause pain.
我们的情绪也是如此。
And that's true of our emotions as well.
这是伊森·克罗斯。
This is Ethan Kross.
他是密歇根大学的心理学家和神经科学家，专攻情绪调节。
He is a psychologist and neuroscientist at the University of Michigan who specializes in emotional regulation.
他最新的著作名为《转变》：掌控你的情绪，别让情绪掌控你。
His latest book is called shift, managing your emotions so they don't manage you.
他将调节情绪比作演奏乐器。
And he compares regulating our emotions to playing an instrument.
我们的大脑就像我们自己的斯特拉迪瓦里小提琴。
Our brain is like our very own Stradivarius.
当我们的情绪被过度触发时，这就像是我试图演奏一把斯特拉迪瓦里小提琴。
When our emotions are triggered out of proportions, that's akin to me trying to play a Stradivarius violin.
这不仅会让演奏者感到极大的痛苦，也会给周围的人带来痛苦。
It can cause enormous pain for both the player as well as those around us.
我们所有人都可以学会有效地演奏这种乐器。
Now we can all learn to play that instrument effectively.
这需要练习。
It takes practice.
我真心相信，情绪管理也是如此。
I genuinely believe that the same is true when it comes to our emotions.
我们所有人都可以学会更有效地管理自己的情绪。
We can all learn to manage our emotions more effectively.
但要做到这一点，我们需要了解有哪些工具可以帮助我们实现这一目标。
To do that though, we need to know what tools are out there to help us achieve that goal.
我认为我们许多人面临的大问题是，从来没有人给我们一份基于科学的蓝图，来指导我们如何管理情绪生活。
And the big problem I think that so many of us face is that we're never given that blueprint, that science based blueprint for steering our emotional lives.
情绪可能会让人感到不堪重负。
Emotions can feel overwhelming.
对我们中的一些人来说，情绪会压倒我们的常识和决策能力，让我们陷入绝望和沮丧的情绪中。
For some of us, they overpower our common sense and ability to make decisions, sending us spiraling into feelings of doom and despair.
那么，我们该如何调节情绪，以便在压力情境下做出更好的决定，更敏锐地察觉自己的需求呢？
So how can we modulate our emotions to help us make better decisions in stressful situations, become more in tune with what we need?
今天在节目中，伊桑·克罗斯将分享他在密歇根大学情绪与自我控制实验室的最新工具和研究成果。
Today on the show, Ethan Kross shares the latest tools and research from his Emotion and Self Control Laboratory at the University of Michigan.
因此，我们在实验室中试图理解人类思维的基本原理。
So what we do in the lab is we try to understand the nuts and bolts of the human mind.
换句话说，你如何才能做到按自己希望的方式去思考、感受和行动？
So in other words, how can you think, feel, or behave the way you want to think, feel, and behave?
而有时候，要做到这一点其实挺困难的。
And sometimes that can be kind of tricky to do.
所以我们深入其中，只是试图弄清楚事情的真相。
And so we really get in there and just try to figure things out.
你的大脑里正在发生什么？那些不断涌现在你脑海中的思维模式，还有你的身体反应？
What's happening in your brain and your the patterns of thoughts that are streaming through your head and your bodies?
我们能否设计出一些干预方法，帮助孩子和成年人更有效地管理自己？
Can we create interventions to help kids and adults manage themselves more effectively?
我想在这里加个星号，或者说是对话中的注释，因为社交媒体上现在有很多自我诊断的现象。
I'd love to put sort of a an asterisk here or conversational footnote, if you will, because there's a lot of self diagnosing going on on social media.
帮我们理清一下，有没有一条界限？
Help us understand, is there a line?
什么是人类正常的部分，什么又是疾病？
What is a normal part of being human, and what is an illness?
因为我们生活在一个经常把他人行为病理化的时代。
Because we live in an era where we pathologize each other's behaviors a lot.
我想让听众知道的一件事是，如果你有时经历负面情绪，那很正常，这就是人类的处境。
Well, one thing I would love listeners to know is that if they experience negative emotions at times, welcome to the human condition.
我们都会这样，这并不代表你有什么问题。
We all do, and there's nothing wrong with you.
事实上，这恰恰说明你很正常。
In fact, there's everything right with you.
我相信，我们所经历的所有情绪，只要在适当的程度下体验，都是有其作用的。
I am of the belief that all of the emotions we experience are useful when they're experienced in the right proportions.
我发现，当人们听到这一点，意识到自己经历焦虑、愤怒、悲伤、嫉妒、后悔或内疚时，并不意味着他们有错。
I have found that when people hear that, when they realize that if they're experiencing anxiety or anger or sadness or envy or regret or guilt, that there's nothing wrong with them.
事实上，这在很大程度上正是他们应有的状态。
In fact, that this is how they should be operating to a large degree.
这一点让很多人感到无比释然。
This is something that people really find liberating.
我认为这很有道理，因为我们常常被告诉应该不断追求一种没有负面情绪的生活。
And I think for really good reason because we're often told we should constantly strive to lead a life free of all negative emotions.
我们只应渴望完全快乐。
We should just yearn to be totally happy.
听着，我喜欢快乐，但我也认识到所谓的负面情绪其实是我的朋友。
Look, I love being happy, but I also recognize that the quote unquote bad emotions are my friends.
它们本身并不是有毒的。
They are not de facto toxic.
只要它们不是被触发得太强烈、太弱、持续太久或太短，它们就是有用的。
They can be useful as long as they're not triggered too intensely or not intense enough, too long, or too short.
你在书中举过一个例子，谈到情绪控制了我们时，我们通常就是这样理解的。
So there's an example you've given the book when you're talking about emotions getting the best of you is a lot of times how we think of it.
你在书中还举了一个名叫露易莎的女性的例子。
There's an example you give in the book about a woman named Louisa.
你能分享一下她在情绪方面经历了什么吗？
Can you share what happens to her in terms of her emotions?
是的。
Yeah.
她是一位母亲。
She's this mom.
她正带着年幼的孩子乘飞机回家。
She's taking a flight home with her young child.
飞机在三万五千英尺的高空飞行。
There were 35,000 feet.
这是一次愉快的飞行。
It's a pleasant flight.
突然，她注意到孩子开始有些动静。
And all of a sudden, she sees her kid begin to stir a little bit.
她低头一看，发现孩子咬了一口能量棒，而在配料表上，她看到了花生。
And then she looks down and sees that her kid took a bite of this granola bar, and in the ingredient list, she sees peanuts.
她的孩子对花生严重过敏，立刻出现了过敏性休克反应。
And so her child had a pretty severe peanut allergy and immediately begins to go into this allergic shock reaction.
她第一反应是伸手去拿她的包。
First thing she does is reach for her bag.
她做了自己在脑海中反复演练过无数次的动作。
She does what she had practiced in her mind countless times before.
她伸手去拿随身携带的肾上腺素自动注射笔，将它扎进女儿的大腿。
She reaches for the EpiPen that she carried with her and jams the EpiPen into her daughter's thigh.
几分钟后，她的女儿开始恢复过来。
And after a a few minutes pass, her daughter begins to recover.
那次事件之后，一切都没事了。
Everything was fine after that scenario.
她的女儿走下了飞机。
Her daughter walked off the plane.
她感觉完全没事。
She felt totally fine.
但露易莎感觉并不好，因为这件事之后，她一直想着我们所说的反事实情境。
But Louisa did not feel fine because she kept on thinking after this incident about what we call counterfactuals.
可能会发生什么？
What might have happened?
如果她没有带肾上腺素自动注射笔呢？
What if she didn't have the EpiPen?
然后她还开始设想未来，不断寻找更多让她担忧的可能情况。
And then she also started projecting herself into the future and finding additional ways to worry about her experience.
如果她女儿去参加生日派对，而其他家长提供的蛋糕是在含有花生的工厂制作的怎么办？
What if her daughter goes to a birthday party and the parent serves cake that was prepared in a facility that had peanuts?
如果她女儿在学校，另一个孩子给她尝了一点含有花生的零食怎么办？
What if her daughter's at school and another kid gives her a taste of a snack that has peanuts in it?
这些想法开始真正占据她的思绪。
And these thoughts begin to to really consume her.
确实如此。
All true.
对吧？
Right?
我的意思是，这些事情确实可能发生。
I mean, those things could happen.
曼努什，我们的大脑是难以置信的假设生成机器。
Manush, our minds are unbelievable hypothesis generating machines.
我们可以生成各种各样的假设。
We can generate all sorts of hypothesis.
其中许多实际上是很可行的，并不离谱。
Many of them are actually quite feasible and not outlandish.
我们也很擅长构想那些可能发生但极其离奇的可能性。
We are also sophisticated at generating the outlandish variety of possibilities for things that might occur too.
但没错，这些想法开始占据她的内心，结果她过上了并非自己想要的生活，因为她不断被焦虑淹没，甚至开始怀疑自己是否真的能控制情绪。
But yes, these are all possibilities that begin to consume her and as a result, she begins to lead a life that is not the kind of life that she wants to lead because she finds herself continually overcome with anxiety to the point where she begins to question whether she can actually control her emotions at all.
对。
Right.
这是个关键问题。
That is the big question.
而且我认为，我们通常认为有些人更容易陷入消极情绪。
And I think, you know, we assume that some people are more prone to negativity.
如果你一直为此困扰，就会觉得，这大概就是命运吧。
And if you are a person who's always struggled with that, you think, well, that's just the way it is.
这就是我。
This is who I am.
但有没有研究探讨我们能做些什么，或者这种情况能否改变？
But is there research into what we can do or if if that can change?
在上世纪七十年代初，新西兰达尼丁进行了一项非凡的研究。
So there was this remarkable study that was performed in Dunedin, New Zealand back in the early nineteen seventies.
这项研究从那时开始，至今仍在继续。
It began, and it's actually still going to this day.
这项研究中，研究人员从大约一千名婴儿刚出生时就开始追踪他们，并在他们一生中定期进行测量。
What happened in this study is the researchers started tracking about a thousand kids right around the time that they were born, And they measured these kids periodically over the course of their lives.
每隔几年，研究人员就会评估这些孩子自我控制的能力，这也包括我们如何管理情绪。
And every few years, they assessed the kids' ability to control themselves, which also includes how we control our emotions.
他们研究了孩子年幼时的自控能力如何预测其成年后的生活结果。
And they looked at how does a kid's ability to exert control when they're young predict different outcomes later on in life.
他们发现，自控能力很强的孩子在职业生涯中取得了更大进展，存了更多钱，更认真地规划退休生活，并且身体更健康。
And what they found is that kids who are really good at self control, they progressed further in their careers, they saved more money, they planned more conscientiously for retirement, and they were physically healthier.
因此，一个人管理自己的能力对生活中许多重要的事情都有影响。
So one's ability to manage themselves has implications for lots of really important things in our lives.
我们从这项研究中了解到的另一件非常有趣的事情是，随着时间推移，有些孩子的自我控制能力变好了，而有些孩子则自然地变差了。
The other thing that we learned from this study that was so interesting was as time progressed, some kids got better at self control and some kids got worse just quite naturally.
那些自我控制能力提升的孩子，他们在所有这些方面的表现也相应改善了。
And the kids who improved in self control, their progress on all these different outcomes also improved.
那些自我控制能力随时间下降的孩子，他们的状况开始变得更糟。
The kids whose whose self control success went down over time, they started faring more poorly.
所以我喜欢提到最后这个发现，因为它真正表明了我们管理情绪的能力是可塑的。
And so the reason I like to mention that last finding is because what it really demonstrates is that how we manage our emotions is malleable.
它是可以改变的。
It can change.
如果你在人生某个阶段不擅长此道，无论你是孩子还是成年人，这并不意味着你注定永远都做不好。
If you're not good at it at one point in in life, whether you're a child or an adult, that doesn't mean you're destined to always be bad at it.
我们有能力变得更好，也可能变得更差。
We have the capacity to get better or worse.
而这就是我认为理解自我控制如何运作、熟悉现有工具的地方。
And that's where I think understanding how self control works, familiarizing ourselves with the tools that are out there.
因此，这对我们所有人来说都是一件极其重要的事情。
That's why that's such an incredibly important thing for all of us to do.
回到露易莎，直到她与女儿的一次经历，才真正帮助她走出了低谷。
And so back to Louisa, it wasn't until an experience she had with her daughter that really helped break her out of her funk.
她意识到，当自己陷入这些负面循环时，女儿会冲进房间，急着想和她谈谈自己的问题，然后她们会一起做某项行为或活动。
She realized that when she was stuck in one of these doom loops, her daughter came in just rushing into the room, you know, had a problem she wanted to talk to her about, and then they did a behavior together, an activity.
活动结束后，露易莎发现自己的压力已经消失了。
And after the activity was over, Louisa realized that she wasn't stressed anymore.
于是她顿悟到，如果她通过投入一项沉浸式且积极的活动来转移注意力，就能降低焦虑的强度。
And so she had the epiphany there that if she distracts herself by engaging in something that is really immersive and a positive experience, that turned the volume down on the intensity of her anxiety.
这最终重新坚定了她一直以来的信念：她确实能够管理自己的情绪。
And that ended up really renewing this belief that she had that she actually could manage her emotions.
我欣赏她的故事，因为它展示了相信自己能够管理情绪，对于实现这一结果有多么重要。
What I love about her story is it demonstrates just how important believing that you can manage your emotions is for bringing that outcome to fruition.
广告回来后，我们将继续与伊桑·克罗斯探讨在焦虑或危机时刻帮助我们的工具，包括世界上最年轻的诺贝尔和平奖得主所使用的策略。
When we come back, more with Ethan Kross on the tools that can help us in moments of anxiety or crisis, including the strategies of the world's youngest Nobel Peace Prize laureate.
今天节目中，我们讨论如何管理情绪。
Today on the show, managing our emotions.
我是马诺伊·扎莫罗迪，您正在收听来自NPR的TED电台节目。
I'm Manoj Zamorodi, and you're listening to the TED Radio Hour from NPR.
我们马上回来。
We'll be right back.
这是来自NPR的TED电台节目。
It's the TED Radio Hour from NPR.
我是马诺伊·扎莫罗迪。
I'm Manoj Zamorodi.
今天节目中，我们全程与心理学家兼神经科学家伊桑·克罗斯对话，探讨如何转变我们对情绪的看法，以免被情绪淹没和支配生活。
On the show today, we are spending the hour with psychologist and neuroscientist Ethan Kross, talking about how we can shift our perspective on our emotions so that they don't overwhelm us and our lives.
伊桑表示，我们其实有很多工具可以使用，但很多人却不知道。
And Ethan says that there are many tools that we can use that a lot of people don't.
他说，其中一种工具就是语言。
One of those tools, he says, is language.
尤其是我们与自己对话的方式。
In particular, the way we speak to ourselves.
他说，非常擅长这一点的人是诺贝尔奖得主马拉拉·优素福扎伊。
One person who's very good at this, he says, is Nobel Prize winner Malala Yousafzai.
以下是伊桑·克罗斯在TED舞台上的发言。
Here's Ethan Kross on the TED stage.
就在马拉拉·优素福扎伊因倡导女童受教育权而成为史上最年轻的诺贝尔和平奖得主之前，她受邀参加了乔恩·斯图尔特的《每日秀》节目，谈论自己的经历。
Right before Malala Yousafzai became the youngest person to ever win the Nobel Peace Prize for advocating for the rights of young girls to receive an education, she was invited on to The Daily Show with Jon Stewart to talk about her experience.
在采访过程中，她开始解释自己最初得知塔利班计划杀害她时内心的想法。
At one point during the interview, she begins to explain what went through her head when she first discovered that the Taliban were plotting to kill her.
我以前总以为塔利班会来，然后直接杀了我。
And I used to think think that the Taliban would come and he would just kill me.
她用第一人称与自己对话，这正是我们通常思考生活的方式。
She's talking to herself in the first person the way we typically think about our lives.
但当她谈到这一部分时——塔利班已经到家门口了——她做了一件有点奇怪的事。
But the moment she gets to this part of the experience, right, the the Taliban, they're on my doorstep, once she gets to that part, she does something kind of strange.
但后来我对自己说：如果他来了，你会怎么做，马拉拉？
But then I said, if he comes, what would you do, Malala?
然后我会回答自己：马拉拉，拿一只鞋子打他。
Then I would reply myself that, Malala, just take a shoe and hit him.
但后来我又说，如果你用鞋子打塔利班，那你和那个塔利班就没有区别了。
But then I said but then I said, if you hit a Talib with your shoe, then there would be no difference between you and that Talib.
你不能如此残忍、如此苛刻地对待他人。
You must not treat others that much with cruelty and that much harshly.
你必须与他人抗争，但要用和平与对话的方式。
You must fight others but through peace and through dialogue.
所以她一开始用第一人称，但随后转变了方式。
So she starts off in the first person, but then she switches.
她是在自我开导。
She's she's coaching herself.
她像给他人提建议一样给自己建议，使用自己的名字和‘你’这个词。
She's giving herself advice like she would someone else, using her name and the word you.
在这种情况下，马拉拉所做的是运用了我们研究过的一种方法。
In this instance, what Malala is doing, she's using a tool that we have studied.
这种方法被称为抽离式自我对话。
It is called distanced self talk.
它之所以有用，是因为人类在给他人提建议时，远比接受自己的建议要擅长得多。
And it is useful because we human beings are much, much better at giving advice to other people than we are taking our own advice.
这种现象甚至有一个专门的名称。
There's even a name for this phenomenon.
它被称为所罗门悖论，以《圣经》中以善于提供建议而闻名的国王所罗门命名。
It's called Solomon's Paradox, named after the Bible's king Solomon, who was famous for being able to give great advice to other people.
但当他面对自己的事务时，却屡屡犯错。
But when it came to his own affairs, he stumbled mightily.
使用自己的名字和‘你’这个词，能够转变你的视角。
Using your own name and you shifts your perspective.
它让你以对待他人的方式对待自己，这让我们更容易明智地解决自己的问题。
It gets you to relate to yourself like you were giving advice to someone else, and that makes it much, much easier for us to wisely work through our problems.
不过这挺有趣的，因为我之前和我的制片人蕾切尔聊过这个，她说她真的需要被提醒时，常常在心里把自己称为‘小姑娘’。
It's funny, though, because, like, I was talking to my producer, Rachel, about this, and she said that she often refers to herself in her head as young lady when she really needs a talking to.
小姑娘，振作起来。
Young lady, get it together.
而且你们确实做过一项研究，显示那些使用这种距离化自我对话的人，会以这种方式称呼自己。
And and it you actually did a study that showed that people who did this referred to themselves with this distance self talk.
他们在这样做的几秒钟内，负面情绪就减少了。
They experienced less negative emotion within seconds of doing that.
她说，这说得通。
And and she said, that makes sense.
它真的对我很有效。
I it really works for me.
是的。
Yeah.
我之所以将这个工具列为首选，是因为它非常简单。
The reason this is one of the first tools that I use is it's a remarkably simple tool.
我们进行了一些神经影像研究，证明当在实验中要求人们使用这个工具时，他们的情绪反应幅度会在几秒钟内降低。
We've done some neuroimaging studies to demonstrate that when you tell people to use this tool in the context of an experiment, you see reductions in the amplitude of their emotional responses that occur within seconds.
而且你不会看到人们在抑制情绪时表现出明显增加的努力迹象。
And you don't see any concomitant increase in signs that people are really exerting a lot of effort to rein their emotions in.
这一点值得注意，因为我们常用的许多情绪管理工具往往让人感觉非常费力。
And that's noteworthy because oftentimes, the tools we use to manage our emotions do feel really effortful.
我应该说，这本身并没有什么问题。
And I should say there's nothing wrong with that.
费力的事情对我们来说可能非常好，任何去过健身房的人都知道这一点。
Effortful things can be really good for us as anyone who ever goes to the gym knows.
比如，有时候要想获得锻炼效果，身体活动确实需要付出很多努力。
Like, sometimes physical exercise takes a lot of effort to see gains.
目前市面上的一些工具比其他工具需要更多的努力。
Some of the tools that are out there require more effort than others.
我喜欢低努力工具的原因是，事情越容易做，人们就越有可能去做。
What I like about the low effort tools is the easier something is to do, the more likely one is to do it.
这是因为我们在某种程度上都比较懒。
And that's because we're all lazy to some degree.
是的，我们所有人都是这样。
And yeah, that's all of us.
这就是人类的本性。
That's human beings.
我们总是试图节约自己的资源。
We're always trying to conserve our resources.
所以，低努力的方法通常是我第一道防线，如果我发现需要的话，我会再升级，使用一些更有效的工具。
So, you know, the low effort stuff is often my first line of defense and then I'll ratchet it up and bring in some more heavy hitting tools if I find that I I need to do so.
但通常情况下，并不需要那样做。
But that often isn't the case.
我的意思是，其中一件容易做的事就是，放一首好歌，比如一首能让你振奋起来的歌，让自己感觉准备好去应对困难的事情。
I mean, one of those easy things to do is, you know, put on a good song, a, like, hype up song to make yourself feel like you're ready to go do something hard.
或者，你知道，我女儿现在晚上特别喜欢点香薰蜡烛，用来放松心情。
Or, you know, my daughter's very much in a stinky candle phase right now in the evenings to when she wants to chill out.
而且你说过，你对竟然没有研究利用感官来调节情绪感到惊讶。
And and you you say, like, that you were surprised there was no research into this using the senses to control our emotions.
所以你已经在这方面做了一些尝试。
So you've been doing some of that.
是的。
Yeah.
我发现，感官作为调节情绪的工具，既非常有效，又特别有趣。
So I I I I find the senses as a tool for shifting our emotions both really powerful and just super interesting.
对吧？
Right?
比如视觉、听觉、触觉、嗅觉。
Like sight, sound, touch, smell.
我们从出生前就一直有这些体验。
We've had those experiences since before we were born.
对吧？
Right?
触觉在子宫里就开始发展了。
Touch develops in the womb.
想想看，当婴儿出生时哭喊不止，我们最先做什么？
Think about what is the first thing we do with babies that are born into this world screaming their head off.
我们通过皮肤接触来安抚他们。
We engage in skin to skin contact to soothe them.
然而，我认为我们常常忽视了感官在我们情绪低落时帮助管理情绪的潜力。
And yet, I think we often overlook the potential of the senses to help us manage our emotions when we're struggling.
也许我该从个人经历开始说起。
And I may maybe I'll start with the personal experience actually.
我一生都在听音乐，它一直是一种根本性的情感体验。
I've been listening to music my entire life, and it's has always been a fundamentally emotional experience.
但如果你问我，当我遇到问题、焦虑、生气、悲伤，或者需要振作时，我有没有有意识地播放音乐来调节情绪？
And yet if you ever ask me, like, when I was struggling with a problem, anxious or angry or sad or needed to be lifted up, did I strategically put on music to shift my emotions?
没有。
No.
对这个问题的答案是否定的。
The answer would be to that question.
这在大多数人身上也是如此。
This is true of people more generally.
所以，如果你在研究中问人们，你们为什么听音乐？
So if you ask people in the context of studies, why do you listen to music?
接近100%的人会说，他们喜欢音乐带给他们的感觉。
Close to a 100% will report they like the way it makes them feel.
如果你进一步做研究，问人们：上次你感到焦虑、生气或悲伤时，你做了什么？
If you then do studies where you ask people, hey, the last time you were anxious or angry or sad, what did you do?
只有10%到30%的人表示会用音乐来调节自己的情绪。
Between only ten and thirty percent report using music to shift their emotions.
这只是一个例子，说明我们在调节情绪时，其实有很多简单易行的方法。
And so that's just an example of low low hanging fruit for pushing our emotions around.
既然我明白了这背后的原理，我的手机里就创建了一个播放列表。
And now that I know how this works, on my phone, I have a playlist.
这个播放列表里的歌曲能稳定地提升或降低我的情绪，无论是正面还是负面情绪。
It has songs in that playlist that consistently shift my emotions, my positive or negative emotions up or down.
当我需要的时候，我就会使用它。
And I I use it when I need to.
音乐和声音只是其中一个例子。
And music and and sound is just one example.
气味是另一个例子。
Scent is another.
想想香水和古龙水吧。
You know, think about perfumes and cologne.
想想酒店如何通过通风系统释放特定气味，来让你产生某种特定的感受。
Think about the scents that hotels pipe through their ventilation system to make you feel a particular way.
视觉。
Vision.
想想艺术。
Think about art.
想想美。
Think about beauty.
这些都是情绪调节器。
These are all shifters.
如果你用这种视角去思考它们，就能更有策略地将它们融入你的生活。
And if you think about them with that lens on, it gives you the possibility to start incorporating them into your lives more strategically.
这让我想到我最钟爱的。
That brings me to my favorite.
那就是体验敬畏。
It's experiencing awe.
大约十年前，加州大学伯克利分校的科学家们追踪了一群退伍军人和一线救援人员，观察他们划船穿越犹他州壮丽的格林河。
About ten years ago, scientists at Berkeley tracked a group of military veterans and first responders as they paddled down Utah's majestic Green River.
他们在漂流旅行前后测量了参与者的创伤后应激障碍和压力水平。
They measured participants' levels of PTSD and stress both before and after the rafting trip.
不出所料，他们发现大多数参与者的压力和创伤后应激障碍水平在实验开始到结束期间有所下降。
Not surprisingly, they found that most of the participants, their stress and PTSD levels declined from the beginning to the end of the experiment.
但令人惊讶的是，预测这些压力和创伤后应激障碍水平下降的因素。
But what was surprising was the factor that predicted those declines in in PTSD and stress.
那就是参与者所体验到的敬畏感。
It was participants' experience of awe.
敬畏是一种当我们面对某种宏大且难以言喻的事物时所产生的情绪。
Awe is an emotion we experience when we are in the presence of something vast and indescribable.
许多人从壮丽的日落中感受到这种情绪。
Lots of people get it from an amazing sunset.
我是个科学迷，所以当我思考外太空和星际旅行时，就会产生这种感觉。
I'm a science geek, so I get it when I contemplate outer space and interplanetary travel.
目前有一辆SUV正在火星上，向我们传送那片地形的影像。
We have an SUV on Mars right now sending us footage back of that terrain.
这让我感到无比震撼。
That is awe inspiring to me.
当我们体验到敬畏这种情绪时，它会引发我们所说的‘自我缩小’。
When we experience this emotion of awe, it leads to what we call a shrinking of the self.
当我们思考那些宏大而难以言喻的事物时，会感觉自己变得渺小。
We feel smaller when we're contemplating something vast and indescribable.
你最近刚刚发表了一项研究。
You had a study come out just very recently.
这项研究名为《日常生活中管理情绪：为什么策略工具箱很重要》。
It was called managing emotions in everyday life, why a toolbox of strategies matters.
这简直太引人入胜了。
This was absolutely fascinating.
你让成千上万的人记录他们使用了哪些方法，无论他们是否知道如何称呼这些方法。
Thousands of people who you had keep track of what tools they were using, whether they knew to call them that or not.
我很好奇。
I'm curious.
跟我们讲讲你刚刚发布的这项研究吧。
Tell tell us about that, the research that you just put out.
简而言之，我们在新冠疫情期间开展了这些研究，我们感兴趣的问题非常简单。
So in short, what we did is we ran these studies during the COVID pandemic, and and the question we were interested in was really simple.
直到现在或最近之前，大量研究都关注单个应对策略的效果。
Lots of research up until this point or up until relatively recently has looked at how individual tools work.
近年来，这个领域开始更多地关注不同策略是如何协同作用的。
What we've begun to do as a field more recently is begun to look at how different kinds of tools work together.
因此，我们在这项研究中想了解的是，人们每天都在做些什么来应对新冠焦虑。
And so what we wanted to do in this study is we wanted to see what if anything were people doing each day to manage their COVID anxiety.
更重要的是，他们使用的这些策略是否真的对第二天的焦虑水平产生了影响？
And importantly, did any of the tools that they used actually move the needle on their anxiety from one day to the next?
也就是说，这些策略是否真的有效？
So did it make a difference?
因此，我们追踪了人们数天乃至几周的时间，每天结束时都会让他们填写一份清单。
And so we track people for several days, couple of weeks, and each day we gave them a checklist at the end of the day.
以下这些策略——我认为共有18种——你今天用了哪些来应对新冠焦虑？
Which of the following, I believe it was 18 tools did you use to manage your COVID anxiety?
我们让他们每天评估自己的焦虑程度。
And we had them rate how anxious they felt each day.
那我们来聊聊，所谓的瑞士军刀到底是什么。
So so let's let's go through, like, what we are Swiss Army Knives.
这些工具是什么？
What are these tools?
这是一整套工具箱。
It's a big toolbox.
是的。
Yeah.
我们询问了与他人交谈、接触大自然、写日记、积极重新解读事物，以及思考这一切不会永远持续下去等方法。
So we asked about talking to other people and going out in nature, journaling, positively reinterpreting things, thinking about that this won't last forever.
我们也研究了一些有害的方法，比如物质滥用。
We looked at some harmful tools too, like substance abuse.
我们还询问了人们是否在压抑自己的情绪。
We asked people whether they were suppressing their emotions.
我们研究了人们是否锻炼、是否花时间在户外、是否与他人互动，以及是否主动寻求他人的身体接触和安慰。
We looked at whether people exercise, spend time outside, whether they interacted with someone, sought out physical touch and comfort from another another person.
因此，我们考察了一整套广泛的心理调节策略，这些策略在专家群体看来，其‘健康’或‘不健康’程度也各不相同。
So we looked at a a very broad collection of strategies, and the strategies also varied in terms of how quote unquote healthy or unhealthy they were according to a group of of experts in this area.
现在，我们发现了一个非常有趣的现象：第一，大多数人每天都会使用多种方法来管理情绪，通常是三到四种。
Now, what we found that was really interesting was number one, most people used multiple tools each day to manage their emotions between three and four.
第二，这也是最让我有共鸣的发现。
Number two, and this is really the finding that hits home for me.
有许多不同方法的组合，都能显著影响人们的焦虑程度。
There were many combinations of tools that made a real difference in terms of how anxious people felt.
当人们使用这三到四种方法时，他们的焦虑感会从一个时刻到下一个时刻明显降低。
When people used these three or four tools, they ended up experiencing a decline in their anxiety from one moment to the next.
但不同人有效的策略组合存在巨大差异。
But there was tremendous variability in terms of a combinations of tools that worked for different people.
我常把这比作去健身房锻炼。
The way I like to think about this is that it's not unlike going to the gym and exercising.
我们每个人都有自己独特的锻炼方式来实现健康目标。
We all have our unique ways of physically exercising to meet our health goals.
我从这项研究中得出的结论是，参与我们研究的人也是如此。
And what I take away from this study is that the same is true for people who participate in our studies.
每个人都有自己独特的方式来应对新冠焦虑。
Each person had their own unique way of managing their COVID anxiety.
在管理我们的情绪生活时，没有一种放之四海而皆准的解决方案。
There are no one size fits all solutions when it comes to managing our emotional lives.
我多希望能告诉一个带着特定问题来找我的人，他们应该具体使用哪三到五个或七个方法来应对这个问题。
I wish I could tell a person who comes to me with a particular problem what three or five or seven tools they should specifically use to manage that problem.
我无法做出这样的处方。
I cannot make that type of prescription.
在缺乏这些数据的情况下，我们可以向人们提供各种方法，邀请他们了解这些方法的具体内容，并鼓励他们开始自行试验这些方法。
What we can do in the absence of that data is give people individual tools, invite them to learn about what these tools are, and then encourage them to start self experimenting with those tools.
试一试某种方法。
Try a tool out.
如果对你有用，那就很好。
If it works for you, great.
继续使用它。
Keep using it.
再叠加另一种方法。
Layer on another one.
看看组合使用是否更有效。
See if a combination helps.
如果对你没用，就换别的方法。
If it doesn't work for you, move on to something else.
我可以问你一个问题吗？
Can I ask you a question?
你提到的其中一种方法，这可能会让人惊讶，但你发现实际上我们认为它可能有用，但并不是情绪宣泄。
One of the tools that you mentioned, this might surprise people, but you you have found actually we think it might be useful, but it's not venting.
是的。
Yes.
宣泄是一种非常有趣的现象。
So venting's a really interesting phenomenon.
有一种非常强烈的文化信念认为，当你承受强烈情绪时，应该直接宣泄出来，把它表达给他人。
There's a very strong cultural belief that when you are struggling with a big emotion, you should just vent it, get it out, express it to someone else.
关于这一点已经有很多研究，我们发现，向他人宣泄情绪确实有助于加强人与人之间的友谊和关系纽带。
And there's been a lot of research on this, and what we've learned is that venting your emotions to someone else can be very helpful for strengthening the friendship and relational bonds between people.
知道有人关心你，这感觉很好。
It's good to know that there are other people who care about you.
问题是，如果你只做这一件事，你往往会在对话后对刚交流的那个人感觉很好，但所有的负面情绪依然存在。
The problem is if that is the only thing you do, you often leave that conversation feeling really good about the person you just communicated with, but all the negative feelings are still there.
有时这些情绪甚至更加强烈，因为你刚刚花了很长时间和对方谈论这段经历，反复回顾所有激发你情绪反应的事情。
Sometimes they're even more activated because you've just spent, you know, however long you're with that other person talking about this experience, going over all of the things that are stoking your emotional response.
我们发现，关于情绪管理的最佳对话实际上能实现两个目标。
What we've learned is the best kinds of conversations when it comes to managing our emotions actually do two things.
首先，适度地表达你的情绪很重要。
First, it is important to express your emotions to some degree.
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我们确实有与他人建立联系、获得认可和共情的需求。
We do have these needs to connect with other people and feel validated and empathized with.
但这些需求得到满足后，理想情况下，你应该找一个能帮助你拓宽视野的人。
But after that those needs are met, ideally you speak to someone who helps you broaden your perspective.
这个人擅长引导你从更宏观的角度看待问题，帮助你找到应对当前困境的解决方案，并获得一种了结感。
It's a person who is adept at allowing you to to look at that bigger picture in ways that helps you generate a solution to what you're going through, helps you reach a sense of closure.
你在书中也描述了这一点。
You describe this in the book as well.
你说有一个练习，可以帮助人们在面对负面情绪时，找出合适的人倾诉。
You say that there's an exercise you can that people can do to help them pinpoint the right people to talk to when you're dealing with negative emotions.
你能给我们详细讲讲这个练习吗？
Can you walk us through that exercise?
是的。
Yeah.
我们来一起做吧。
Let's let's do it.
我们要做一个情感顾问审计，通过这个练习帮助你建立你的情感顾问团队，我认为这在我们每个人的生活中都至关重要。
Let's we're gonna do an emotional adviser audit, and we're gonna do this exercise to help you build your your emotional advisory board, which I think is a critically important asset in all of our lives.
下面是具体做法。
So here's how it goes.
我希望你们每一位听众都拿出一张纸，画一个两列的表格。
I'd love for you and everyone who's listening to take out a piece of paper and draw a table with two columns.
好的。
Alright.
我现在就做。
I'm doing it now.
我希望你把第一列标为‘个人事务’，用一个专业术语，另一列标为‘工作或学业问题’。
I want you to label the first column personal stuff, use a technical term, and the other column work or school stuff problems.
然后，我希望你花一分钟时间，列出你在生活中这两个重要领域遇到问题时会去倾诉的所有人的名字。
Then what I want you to do is I want you to take a minute to list all the names of people that you go to to talk about the problems you experience in those two important domains of your life.
有些人可能会在两列中写下相同的名字。
Now some of you may have the same names in both columns.
所以无论问题来自哪里，你都会找同一批人倾诉。
So you talk to the same people about about problems regardless of where they come from.
其他人则在两个栏目中列出完全不同的名字。
Others may have totally different names in each column.
还有一些人可能一个名字都写不出来。
Still others may have no names.
完成这个练习没有对错之分。
There is no right or wrong way to complete this exercise.
好的。
Okay.
现在，我希望你圈出那些当你遇到问题时能为你做两件事的人的名字。
So now what I want you to do is I want you to circle the names of the people who do two things for you when you come to them with a problem.
首先，他们让你表达自己的情绪。
First, they let you express your emotions.
他们会倾听。
They listen.
他们能与你共情。
They empathize with you.
他们认可你正在经历的一切。
They validate what you're going through.
他们让你觉得这是正常的。
They normalize it.
但在那之后，他们会与你一起拓宽你的视角。
But then after they do that, they start working with you to broaden your perspective.
他们帮助你梳理问题。
They help you work it through.
他们帮助你解决问题。
They help you problem solve.
他们帮助你获得释然。
They help you reach closure.
圈出那些按照这个顺序为你做这两件事的人的名字。
Circle the names of the people who do both of those things in that order.
对。
Mhmm.
好的。
Okay.
那你的名单上有没有你没圈出来的名字？
So do you have any names on your list that you did not circle?
有的。
Yes.
好的。
Okay.
拿出你最粗的红色记号笔，尽情地在这些人的名字上打个叉。
Get out your thickest red Sharpie and make a you know, cathartically put an x through their their names.
我这么说的意思是，你不能再把这些人纳入你的“参谋团”了。
And and what I mean by that is they're not on your advisory board.
这并不是说你要和这些人彻底断绝来往。
This doesn't mean you need to sever your connections with these people.
我生活中有很多和我关系非常亲密的人。
There are many people in my life who I'm exceptionally close to.
但我不会跟他们谈论我在那些领域遇到的问题。
I don't talk to them about the problems I experienced in those domains.
我会跟他们聊很多其他事情，但他们并不能帮助我解决我的问题。
I talk to them about lots of other things, but they don't help me work through my problems.
他们不会遵循那两个步骤，而这完全没问题。
They don't follow those two steps, and and that's totally fine.
改善是完全可能的。
And improvement is absolutely possible.
我就是这样一个例子。
I am an example of that.
在我了解这一切的运作方式之前，在我了解相关科学知识之前，我清楚地记得，当人们带着重大问题来找我时，比如失去亲人，或者工作中发生了非常糟糕的事情，他们会打电话给我或登门拜访，而我却完全不知道该说什么。
Prior to me knowing about how this all worked, prior to me knowing about the science, I remember distinctly when people would come to me with really big problems, like they'd they'd lose a loved one or something really bad would happen at work and and they'd call to talk to me or they'd come over and I just wouldn't know what to say.
比如，你会本能地试图表示共情。
Like, you know, intuitively, would try to empathize.
我很抱歉。
I'm so sorry.
唉。
Ugh.
听起来真糟。
Sounds terrible.
我能理解。
I can understand.
但除此之外，我不知道该如何引导对话。
But beyond that, I had no compass to steer the conversation.
科学在这里给了我一个指南针，帮助我引导那些向我寻求支持的人的对话，同时也帮助我识别该和谁倾诉。
What the science does here is it gives me a compass to steer those conversations that I have with people who come to me for support, and it also helps me identify who I should talk to.
而这就是我所拥有的无价之宝——这个基于科学的指南针。
And that is an invaluable tool that I possess, that that science based compass.
所以，这些是你生活中有建设性的人吗？
So these are people who are constructive in your life?
确实如此，他们会引导你走向正确的方向。
Constructive absolutely in steering you the right way.
在管理我们的情绪时，他人是宝贵的资源。
Other people are a remarkable asset when it comes to manage our emotions.
因为在那些时刻，他们能帮助我们发现自身已有的工具，并激活它们以带来益处。
Because in those moments, they can help us find those tools that we already possess and activate them to our benefit.
稍后，更多来自伊桑·克罗斯的分享，关于你内心那常常因喋喋不休而妨碍你的声音。
In a moment, more from Ethan Kross on that little voice inside your head that can often get in your way with all its chatter.
今天节目中，我们探讨如何管理情绪。
On the show today, managing our emotions.
我是马努什·萨马拉蒂，欢迎收听来自NPR的TED播客。
I'm Manoush Samarotti, and you're listening to the TED Radio Hour from NPR.
请继续关注。
Stay with us.
这是来自NPR的TED播客。
It's the TED Radio Hour from NPR.
我是马诺吉·佐莫罗迪。
I'm Manoj Zomorodi.
今天节目中，我们将与心理学家兼神经科学家伊桑·克罗斯对话，探讨如何更好地管理我们的情绪。
On the show today, a conversation with psychologist and neuroscientist Ethan Kross on managing our emotions better.
如今，许多人会寻求专家的帮助。
These days, many people are bringing in an expert.
他们去看治疗师，以解决自身问题，并学会在困境中自我疏导。
They're seeing a therapist to work through their problems and learn to coach themselves in tough situations.
有多种不同的治疗方法，我们知道不同类型的疗法对不同的人有效。
There are lots of different therapeutic approaches, and we know that different kinds of therapy work for different people.
话虽如此，我认为这里的科学结论相当明确：即治疗中的情感联结、默契，有时被称为治疗联盟，也就是治疗师与客户之间的关系。
Having said that, I do think the science here is pretty clear in the sense that the emotional connection, the rapport in therapy talk that's sometimes referred to as therapeutic alliance, the alliance between the therapist and the client.
你需要建立这种联结，但同时也要帮助人们最终重新诠释经历，使其不再成为持续的痛苦来源。
You wanna have that, but you also wanna help people ultimately reframe an experience so it ceases to be an active source of distress.
改变你对某件事的看法，有多种方式。
And there are lots of ways you can change the way you're thinking about something.
有时候你可以直接这么做，比如当朋友鼓励你回想过去处理类似情况的经历，或者你会问我如果我遇到这种情况会怎么说？
Sometimes you could do it directly, like when a friend encourages you to think about times when you've dealt with similar things in the past, or what have you what'd you tell me if I was dealing with this experience?
这些都是改变视角的方式。
Those are ways of shifting perspective.
有时候，我们的视角会随着时间自然改变。
Sometimes our perspectives naturally shift with time.
随着时间推移，当我们与问题拉开一定的距离——也就是我们所说的‘时间距离’——我们会意识到，事情并没有看起来那么严重。
We realize as time goes on and we get some actual, what we call temporal distance, some some time away from the problem that it's not as big as it seems.
因此，有很多方法可以帮助人们以不同的方式看待那些困扰他们的经历。
So there are lots of ways that you can get people to think differently about experiences that are are bugging them.
但帮助他们达到这个状态非常重要。
But getting them to that point is pretty important.
因为如果你做不到，你就会把这件事当作一段经历的记忆。
Because if you don't, you have this think about it as like a memory of an experience.
每当这段记忆被激活，每当它被提醒，所有的情绪就会再次涌回你的意识中。
And every time the memory is activated, every time you're reminded of it, all the emotions come flooding back into your awareness.
有效管理情绪的关键在于理解如何利用一种被称为内心声音的神秘力量。
A key to managing one's emotions effectively involves understanding how to harness this mysterious force called the voices inside our head.
这里有一个我非常喜欢的科学事实。
Here's a scientific fact that I absolutely love.
我们醒着的时候，有一半到三分之一的时间并不专注于当下。
We spend between one half and one third of our waking hours not focused on the present.
有一半到三分之一的时间，我们的思绪会飘走。
Between one half and one third of the time, our minds, they are drifting away.
我们在想其他事情。
We are thinking about other things.
你们中的一些人现在就在这么做。
Some of you are doing that right now.
请停下来。
Please stop.
一旦我们发现自己走神了，其中一件事就是和自己对话，并倾听自己说的话。
Once we find ourselves drifting away, one of the things that we're doing is is talking to ourselves and listening to what we say.
当像我这样的科学家使用‘内心声音’这个术语时，我们指的是我们默默运用语言来反思生活的能⼒。
Now when scientists like myself use the term inner voice, what we're talking about is our ability to silently use language to reflect on our lives.
事实证明，这是你的超能力之一。
And it turns out this is one of your superpowers.
因为你的内心声音能让你在短时间内保持信息活跃，比如当你去杂货店的时候。
Because your inner voice lets you keep information active in your head for short periods of time, like when you go to the grocery store.
如果你和我一样，进入超市十五秒后，就会忘记自己本来要买什么。
And if you're like me, fifteen seconds into the expedition, you forget what you're supposed to buy.
你会在心里重复那张清单。
You repeat that list in your head.
苹果、奶酪、思密达，信息过多了。
Apples, cheese, Pepto Bismol, TMI.
我们还用内心声音来进行模拟和规划，比如在重要演讲或面试前默默练习要说的话。
We also use our inner voice to simulate and plan, like when we silently rehearse what we're going to say before an important presentation or an interview.
或许最神奇的是，我们用内心声音来理解这个常常混乱的世界。
Perhaps most magically, we use our inner voice to make sense of this messy world that we often live in.
当我们面临挑战时，我们会将注意力转向内心，试图去应对这些问题。
When we experience challenges, we turn our attention inward, we try to work through them.
我们的内心独白帮助我们构建那些塑造自我认知的故事，真正塑造我们的身份。
And our inner voice helps us create those stories that that shape our sense of self, stories that really craft our identity.
所以，你的内心独白，这是一种非凡的工具。
So so your inner voice, this is a remarkable tool.
问题是，当我们最需要它的时候，它却常常卡壳。
The problem is it is a tool that often jams up on us when we need it most.
我们无法为自己的问题找到清晰的解决方案。
We don't we don't come up with clear solutions to our problems.
相反，我们陷入了消极的思维循环中。
We get stuck in negative thought loops instead.
我们担忧、反复思虑，经历我所说的内心独白的阴暗面——内心纷扰。
We worry, we ruminate, we experience what I call the dark side of our inner voice, chatter.
你怎么知道自己正在经历内心纷扰呢？
How do you know if you're experiencing chatter?
如果你发现自己在试图解决一个问题却毫无进展，或者不断责备自己，‘我真是个傻瓜，真是个傻瓜’，这些都是明显的迹象。
If you ever find yourself trying to work through a problem but not making any progress, or if you find yourself berating yourself incessantly, I'm an idiot, such an idiot, Those are two telltale signs.
内心喋喋不休的一个影响是，它让我们很难思考和表现。
One thing that chatter does, it makes it really hard for us to think and perform.
它消耗了我们的注意力，导致我们几乎没有余力去做那些我们通常想要或需要做的事情。
It consumes our attention, leaving very little left over to do the things that we often want and need to do.
治疗师在与人工作时经常做的一件事，就是教他们重新解读自己的情绪，以更积极的方式看待它们。
One of the things, therapists often do when they work with people is teach them to reframe their emotions, to to put them in a more constructive light.
这正是你研究过的内容。
That is something that you have studied.
对吧？
Right?
当我们这样做的时候，我们的大脑会是什么样子？
What our brains look like when we do that?
是的。
Yes.
我们确实做过这项研究，我们的目标是了解那些在重新评估事物方面特别困难的人，我。
We did do a study on this, and what we wanted to do was we wanted to understand, do people who tend to really struggle with reframing things, I.
E。
E.
那些总是担忧的人，在试图重新评估时，究竟发生了什么？
People who are worrying, What's really going on when they're trying to reframe things?
我们招募了一组女性，并根据她们倾向于担忧的程度进行了分类。
And what we did is we brought in a group of women and we profiled them on the degree to which they tended to dispositionally worry about things.
在实际实验过程中，我们给她们戴上了一种带有电极的头帽。
And during the actual procedure, we put on essentially this skull cap that was had electrodes hooked up to it.
这是脑电图（EEG）头帽，如果你真想和我深入探讨技术细节的话。
It's an EEG cap, electroencephalogram, and it's a a technique that we used if you really wanna geek out with me here.
我们使用了一种叫做事件相关电位的技术。
We use this technique called event related potentials.
这项技术让我们能够观察到不同心理过程或体验——比如情绪波动或付出努力——在大脑中激活的速度有多快。
And what it allows us to do is see just how quickly different types of psychological processes or experiences, like becoming emotional or exerting effort, this technique allows us to see how quickly those different processes activate in your brain.
因此，在这项研究中，我们向参与者展示了被选中以引发负面情绪反应的图片，并要求他们尝试积极地重新解读这些经历，换句话说，寻找其中的积极面。
And so in the study, we presented these participants with images that were selected to arouse a negative emotional response, and we gave the participants the instruction to try to positively reframe these experiences, find the silver lining, if you will.
我们在这项研究中发现了一个非常有趣的现象：越是容易担忧的参与者，试图积极重新解读他们所看到的内容就越费力。
And so what we found in the study, which was really, really interesting, was that the more prone participants were to worrying, number one, the more effortful it was to try to positively reframe what they were seeing.
但其次，在许多情况下，这种尝试往往适得其反。
But then number two, in many cases, it often backfired.
他们试图重新解读的努力实际上并没有成功。
The attempts to reframe actually weren't successful.
因此，当他们试图这样做时，反而感觉更糟了。
So they they actually start feeling worse when they're trying to do this.
这让我想起了一个类似的经历。
And, you know, it reminds me of this experience.
我在我的书里简短地讲过这个故事。
I tell this story very briefly in my book.
几年前，我和妻子与另一对夫妇共进晚餐，我们从底特律开车回来时，像夫妻外出时常做的那样，聊起了生活。
My wife and I were out to dinner with another couple several years ago, and we were driving back from Detroit and, you know, we're talking about life as couples are apt to do when they go out.
有一刻，我坐在后座的朋友开始谈论他工作中一个非常困难的处境，这让他深受影响。
And at one point, my friend in the backseat starts talking about this difficult, difficult situation at work that's really affecting him.
这让他情绪很低落。
It's really bringing him down.
他的妻子对他说：你为什么不换个角度想想呢？
And his wife says to him, why don't you just think differently about it?
只管关注积极的一面。
Just just focus on the bright side.
于是我的朋友转过头，停顿了一下，说：是的。
And and my friend then looks looks over, pauses and goes, yeah.
说起来容易，做起来难。
Easier bleeping said than done.
我差点因为笑得太厉害而撞车。
And I like almost crashed the car from from laughter.
但我觉得这个回应恰恰说明，我们很多人都直觉地知道，如果我们能重新调整对事情的看法，心情就会好起来。
But what I think that response really captures is that many of us know intuitively that if if we could reframe how we're thinking about something, we would feel better.
但当我们焦虑、悲伤时，却很难做到这一点。
But we struggle to do it when we're anxious, when we're sad,
当我们
when we're
愤怒、充满悔恨时，更是如此。
angry, when we're filled with regret.
这时，了解这些不同的方法就显得尤为有用，因为它们能在我们最需要的时候帮助我们调整心态。
That's where knowing about these different tools that are out there can be so useful because they can help us shift precisely when we need it most in those circumstances.
这太有趣了。
That's so interesting.
我在想我生活中有个人，我总觉得：你只要……我就是这个情境中的妻子。
I'm thinking about someone in my life who who I'm like, well, you just I'm the I'm the wife in this scenario.
我只是觉得：你只要换个角度想就行了。
I'm like, you just change the way you think about it.
就这么做吧。
Just do it.
对他来说，他觉得天哪。
And and for him, he's like, oh my god.
有太多理由让我做不到这件事。
There are so many reasons why I can't do that.
我想你意思是说，是的，你可能容易陷入反复思考。
And I I guess what you're saying is, yes, maybe you are prone to rumination.
也许你小时候没有培养出这种能力，所以现在做起来很难。
Maybe you didn't develop that tool as a young person, so it's hard for you to do it now.
也许你的大脑就是不这样运作。
Maybe your brain just doesn't work like that.
你知道吗，这种想法有点宿命论了。
Well, you know, that's somewhat fatalistic.
所以我想分享另一个信息，希望听众能感到释然。
So here's another message that I hope listeners find liberating.
这又回到了‘没有一种方法适合所有人’这个观点。
It goes back to this no one size fits all solution idea.
A，这是真的。
A, it's true.
比如，我们看到不同的工具在不同的人和不同的情境下效果不同。
Like, we see that different tools work for different people in different situations.
但B，我认为这向人们传达了一个信息：如果你尝试了所有人都说的万能解法，但结果发现——
But b, I think what that does is it conveys to people that if you try something that everyone is telling you is this panacea, but guess what?
它对你并没有产生那样的效果。
It's not having that effect for you.
没关系。
No big deal.
在某种程度上，这对我们所有人都是如此。
That's true of all of us to some extent.
对吧？
Right?
不同的人在不同的情境下需要不同的工具。
Different tools for different people in different situations.
我无法告诉你，在我的职业生涯中，有多少人曾向我提起，说每个人都告诉他们正念或在绿色空间散步对他们帮助巨大。
I can't tell you how many people have come up to me over the course of my career and said something to the effect of everyone tells me how much they're benefiting from from mindfulness or going for a walk in a green space.
但这对我根本没用。
It just doesn't doesn't do it for me.
我认为这是一种很常见的反应。
And I think that's a common response.
对吧？
Right?
如果别人都从这种其他工具中受益，或者我们认为每个人都从中受益了——因为我向你保证，并不是每个人都能受益——我们就会开始为自己感到难过。
If everyone else is benefiting from this from this other tool or if we think everyone is benefiting from it, because I assure you it is not everyone, we start to feel bad for ourselves.
认识到每个人适合不同的方法，这能减轻我们常常强加给自己的额外压力和评判，促使我们去寻找真正适合自己的其他方法。
Recognizing that different strokes for different folks, right, it just it alleviates that additional source of pressure and judgment we often put on ourselves, inviting us to seek out additional tools that do work for us.
在接下来的几分钟里，我想谈谈一个可能完全违背了我们文化认为处理痛苦情绪的正确方式的人，那就是你的祖母。
In the last few minutes, I wanna talk about someone who maybe did the opposite of what our culture thinks is the right way to deal with a painful emotion, and that is your grandmother.
你在你的书中写到了她。
You wrote about her in your book.
她是一位大屠杀幸存者，你说她实际上一直避免谈论自己经历的创伤。
She was a holocaust survivor, and you say that she really avoided talking about the trauma that she experienced.
我认为，尤其是在美国，人们常常认为，你需要深入挖掘自己的悲伤。
And I think very often people think, at least in The United States, we think, you need to dig into your grief.
你需要探索它，才能从中走出来。
You need to explore it so you can get over it.
但经过思考你祖母的做法以及你在实验室所做的所有研究后，你得出了一个非常不同的结论。
But you actually come to a very different conclusion after thinking about your grandmother's approach and all the studies that you have done in the lab.
没错。
That's right.
我们通常把回避视为一种普遍的伤害。
We tend to talk about avoidance as a universal harm.
它是有毒的。
It's toxic.
确实，长期回避问题与各种负面结果相关。
It's true that chronically avoiding things is linked with negative outcomes across the board.
但当我们谈论回避是有害的、而面对是有用的——这里我说的面对是指直面我们的负面经历以从中走出时，往往被忽略的是，你其实不必在这两种状态之间做出非此即彼的选择。
But what's often lost when we talk about avoidance is toxic and approach is useful, and by approach, I mean confronting our negative experiences to work through them, is that you don't actually have to choose between those two states.
你可以灵活地在两者之间来回切换。
You can actually go back and forth flexibly between them.
你可以先面对一段时间，然后休息一下，回避一下，再重新回来。
You can approach things for a while, take some time off, avoid them and then come back.
大量研究表明，这种做法对很多人来说往往非常有效。
And lots of research demonstrate that that can often be really useful for people.
这一点在我祖母身上也得到了印证。
This was true of my grandmother.
我祖母经历了非常非凡的一系列境遇。
So my grandmother had this really extraordinary set of circumstances befall her.
她在二战期间的波兰、东欧地区长大。
She's growing up in Eastern Europe in Poland around the time of World War two.
在很多方面，她的童年是无忧无虑的。
She, in many ways, has an idyllic childhood.
然后纳粹来了。
Then the Nazis come in.
她目睹了家人大多被屠杀。
She witnesses her family be slaughtered for the most part.
她逃亡了，从一个隔都逃到另一个隔都，与游击队员一起生活在寒冷的森林里。
She she flees and goes from ghetto to ghetto, living in the woods with partisans, freezing woods.
她多次差点丧命。
She's almost killed several times over.
她最终逃了出来。
She ultimately makes it out.
当她身无分文地抵达美国时，她和我的祖父开始了新生活，最终取得了成功。
And when she gets to The States with nothing, she and my grandfather begin a new life, and they ultimately thrive.
他们有了孩子，孩子又有了孩子，而我就是其中之一。
And they have kids, and their kids have kids, and I was one of them.
我在小学的几乎每一天放学后都待在祖母家。
And I spent almost every day after school in elementary school at my grandmother's.
她在我父母工作的时候看着我。
She was watching me while my parents worked.
我总是记得不停地求她讲讲她的经历，但她从不讲。
And I remember constantly asking her to tell me about her experience, but she would never do it.
她会跟我聊很多其他事情，她是一位极其富有表现力且温暖的祖母，但出于 understandable 的原因，她不喜欢重温那些创伤的时光，只有一年中的一天例外——那天是她和一些幸存者同伴组织的纪念日，我会去犹太教堂，一整天都听着所有幸存者的故事，包括我祖母和祖父，他们都在流泪。
She would talk to me about lots of other things and she was an exceptionally expressive and warm grandmother, but she didn't like to revisit those traumatic times understandably, except for one day a year when there'd be this remembrance day that she and some of her fellow survivors organized where I'd go to this synagogue and for a full day I'd listen to all of the people who survived the war including my grandmother and grandfather in tears.
他们在讲述暴行时会尖叫、哭泣。
They would scream and cry as they recounted the atrocities.
而我当时没有意识到的是，她会刻意不去想自己在大屠杀期间的经历。
And what I didn't realize at the time was she would dose thinking about her experiences during the Holocaust.
这对她来说是一种非常有效的应对策略。
And that was a strategy that really worked well for her.
她并不是长期回避这些事。
It wasn't that she would chronically avoid it.
她会刻意在很长一段时间里不去想，但在纪念日那天，她会允许自己真正地面对那些回忆。
She would deliberately not think about it for long stretches of time, but then during the remembrance day event, she'd allow herself to really get in there.
如果她碰巧遇到另一位幸存者，他们就会谈论这些事。
If she happened to see another survivor, they would talk about it.
这种灵活性的能力对某些人来说是一种有效的技能。
And that ability to be flexible is a skill that works for some people.
再次强调，没有一种放之四海而皆准的解决方案。
There are no, again, one size fits all solutions.
在应对创伤和哀悼时也是如此。
And this is true for dealing with trauma and grieving as well.
人们有不同的应对路径，也能从各种不同的方法中受益。
There are different trajectories and different kinds of tools that people can benefit from.
我们从祖母身上学到的这堂课，不仅适用于我们人生中遭遇的极端令人不安的境遇。
This lesson that we learned from my grandmother is not just relevant to dealing with the extraordinarily disturbing circumstances that befall some of us during our lives.
它同样适用于我们有时遇到的那些较小的挫折。
It's also relevant to the more minor blips that we sometimes encounter.
我从小就被教导要正视自己的情绪。
I was raised to always approach my emotions.
一旦发生什么事，你就应该立刻处理。
The moment something happens, you should deal with it right then and there.
根据我所接触到的数据以及我自己的经历，我后来了解到，有时候强迫自己暂时远离问题——无论是几小时还是几天，然后再以某种心理上的距离重新面对它，往往会很有帮助。
What I've since learned based on the data, that I've encountered, but also just experiences I've had is that sometimes forcing myself to take some time away from a problem, whether it be a few hours or days, and then coming back to that problem with some some more psychological distance, if you will, can be quite useful.
因为当我稍后重新面对这个问题时，情绪的强度通常会减弱，我往往能以不同的视角来看待它。
Because when I come back to the problem later on, the intensity is often diminished, and I can often view it in a different light.
这是一种有策略地转移注意力的方式。
That is a case of being strategic with how I divert my attention.
这可以说是一种有策略的回避。
It's being strategic with avoidance, if you will.
所以对我来说，这里最重要的启示是：你不必在面对和回避之间二选一。
So the real take home lesson here for me is you don't have to choose between approaching and avoiding.
你可以在这两者之间来回切换。
You can go back and forth between them.
我想用一些关于我们有时混乱的情感生活的观察来总结，这些想法我经常在脑海中浮现。
I wanna wrap things up by sharing with you a set of observations about our, at times, messy emotional lives that that I find myself thinking about quite a bit.
每次这样做，我都既感到恐惧，又觉得深受启发。
And every time I do, it fills me with both dread, and I find it inspiring.
大约八到一万年前，我们的祖先发明了第一种外科手术技术。
Between eight and ten thousand years ago, our ancestors invented the first surgical technique.
这种技术名叫钻颅术，就是给人的头骨钻孔。
Its name was trepanation, and what it involved doing was drilling holes in people's skulls.
人们认为这种技术被使用的原因之一，是为了帮助人们管理情绪。
One of the reasons why this technique was believed to be used was to help people manage their emotions.
剧烈而失控的情绪反应。
Big, dysregulated emotional responses.
把邪灵放出来。
Let the evil spirits out.
快进到1949年。
Fast forward to 1949.
一位葡萄牙医生因另一种情绪调节干预方法获得了诺贝尔奖。
A Portuguese physician wins the Nobel Prize for another emotion regulation intervention.
这个叫做额叶切断术。
This one's name, the frontal lobotomy.
值得庆幸的是，我们已经远远摆脱了在人头上凿洞、把冰锥插入额叶皮层以缓解情绪的做法。
We have come a long way, thankfully, from carving holes in people's heads and sticking ice picks in our frontal cortices to provide people with emotional relief.
我们的基于科学的技能工具箱已经有了极大的改进。
Our our toolbox of science based skills is vastly improved.
我们需要更好地在日常生活中使用这些工具，并与他人分享它们。
What we need to do a better job doing is using these tools in our lives and sharing them with other people.
我们投入了大量资源来学习如何更有效地与他人沟通。
We spend enormous amounts of resources teaching ourselves how to communicate more effectively with other people.
我们需要投入同等的资源，来学习如何更有效地与自己沟通。
What we need to do is devote an equivalent amount of resources to teaching ourselves how to communicate more effectively with ourselves.
谢谢。
Thank you.
那
That
他是心理学家和神经科学家伊桑·克罗斯。
was psychologist and neuroscientist Ethan Kross.
他在密歇根大学主持情绪与自我控制实验室。
He runs the Emotion and Self-Control Laboratory at the University of Michigan.
他最新的著作名为《转变》：管理你的情绪，不让它们控制你。
His latest book is called shift, managing your emotions so they don't manage you.
在此之前，他撰写了《内心的声音》：我们脑海中的声音为何重要，以及如何驾驭它。
Before that, he wrote chatter, the voice in our head, why it matters, and how to harness it.
你可以在 ted.com 上观看他的完整演讲以及其他众多演讲。
You can see his full talk and many other talks at ted.com.
非常感谢您今天收听我们的节目。
Thank you so much for listening to our show today.
如果您觉得有帮助，请与朋友或家人分享，或花点时间关注我们，并在 Apple Podcasts、Spotify 或您喜欢的播客平台为我们写一篇评论。
If you found it helpful, please share it with a friend or a family member, or take a moment to follow us and write a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you like listening to podcasts.
我们非常感激。
We really appreciate it.
本集由蕾切尔·福克纳·怀特制作。
This episode was produced by Rachel Faulkner White.
本集由桑亚斯·梅什坎普尔和我共同剪辑。
It was edited by Sanaz Meshkampur and me.
我们在NPR的制作团队还包括菲奥娜·吉隆、詹姆斯·德·拉·胡西、马修·克鲁蒂尔、凯蒂·蒙特莱奥内、霍尔沙·纳哈达和凯·麦克奈姆。
Our production staff at NPR also includes Fiona Giron, James De La Hussi, Matthew Cloutier, Katie Monteleone, Hoursha Nahada, and Kai McNamee.
我们的执行制片人是艾琳·诺古奇。
Our executive producer is Irene Noguchi.
我们的音频工程师是大卫·格林伯格和吉莉·穆恩。
Our audio engineers were David Greenberg and Gilly Moon.
我们的主题音乐由拉姆廷·阿拉布卢伊创作。
Our theme music was written by Ramtin Arablui.
我们在TED的合作伙伴包括克里斯·安德森、罗克珊·海拉什、亚历杭德拉·萨拉扎尔和达尼埃拉·巴雷雷佐。
Our partners at TED are Chris Anderson, Roxanne Hailash, Alejandra Salazar, and Daniela Balarezzo.
我是马努什·扎莫罗迪，您正在收听的是NPR的《TED电台》。
I'm Manoush Zamorodi, and you have been listening to the TED Radio Hour from NPR.
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