决定对话成败的60秒 | 克里斯·芬宁

你正在收听TED Talks Daily，我们每天为你带来新想法，激发你的好奇心。

You're listening to TED Talks Daily, where we bring you new ideas to spark your curiosity every day.

我是你的主持人，Elise Hu。

I'm your host, Elise Hu.

我们都知道沟通时应该清晰简洁，但有多少人真正教过我们怎么做呢？

We all know we should be clear and concise when we communicate, but how often does anyone actually teach us how to do that?

沟通专家Chris Fenning说，知道应该做和知道怎么做之间的差距，让我们付出的代价比我们意识到的要大。

Communication expert Chris Fenning says that gap between knowing we should and knowing how costs us more than we realize.

每年，糟糕的沟通导致企业损失数百亿美元的生产力。

Every year, poor communication costs businesses hundreds of billions of dollars in lost productivity.

在这次演讲中，Chris认为解决办法不是多说或写得更长。

In this talk, Chris argues that the fix isn't about talking more or writing longer.

关键在于把每次对话的开头一分钟做好，因为那个开头能决定后面的一切成败。

It comes down to getting the very first minute of every conversation right because that opening can make or break everything that follows.

Chris分享了一个简单的三部分技巧，让沟通更清晰，让对方确切知道你在说什么，为什么告诉他们，以及你需要什么。

Chris shares a simple three part technique for clearer communication so the other person knows exactly what you're talking about, why you're telling them, and what you need.

这段内容将在短暂休息后播出。

That's coming up right after a short break.

本节目由Wise赞助，这是在全球管理您所需货币的智能方式。

Support comes from Wise, the smart way to manage the currencies you need around the world.

您的生活是全球化的。

Your life is global.

您的资金也应如此。

Your money should be too.

有些服务商承诺海外转账无手续费。

Some providers promise no fees on overseas transfers.

别被蒙蔽了。

Don't be fooled.

额外费用常常隐藏在虚高的汇率中。

Extra costs often hide in bloated exchange rates.

选择Wise。

Choose Wise.

你可以用超过40种货币进行转账、消费和收款。

You can send, spend, and receive money in over 40 currencies.

汇率就跟你在谷歌上看到的一样，放心用。

Count on the exchange rates that you'd usually see on Google.

这就是为什么数百万人能省下数十亿的隐藏费用。

That's how millions save billions on hidden fees.

聪明点。

Be smart.

选Wise。

Get wise.

访问wise.com。

Visit wise.com.

条款和条件适用。

Ts and cs apply.

你每天盯着屏幕多少小时？这对你的眼睛健康意味着什么？

How many hours a day are you staring at a screen, and what does that mean for your eye health?

我是说，看看你一天或一周的屏幕使用时间。

I mean, check out your screen time for the day or the week.

我们一直盯着屏幕，而且没有像应该的那样休息，不管是孩子还是大人。

We're on them constantly, and we're not taking the breaks that we should, both kids and adults alike.

这对保持幼儿的眼睛健康真的很关键，要限制近距离用眼的时间。

And that's really crucial at just maintaining eye health for young kids, limiting that amount of near work.

那是眼科医生。

That was ophthalmologist Doctor.

鲁帕·王，她和我进行了一次深入的对话，讨论为什么在当今数字时代，照顾眼睛健康比以往任何时候都重要。

Rupa Wong, who joined me for an in-depth conversation about why taking care of your eye health is more important than ever in today's digital world.

她分享了定期眼科检查的预防价值，她对蓝光眼镜的独到见解，以及更多内容，这是TED健康关于感官的特别系列的一部分。

She shares the preventative value of regular eye exams, her hot takes on blue light glasses and more as part of a special series on TED Health about your senses.

无论你在哪里收听播客，都能找到TED健康。

Find TED Health wherever you listen to podcasts.

现在，是我们今天的TED演讲。

And now our TED talk of the day.

我想说得又长又含糊。

I want to be long winded and unclear.

这不是常见的开场白。

It's not a common opening line.

大多数人不会告诉我们他们要说很久，但我们知道。

Most people won't tell us when they're going to be long winded, but we know.

我们很快就能判断出对方是会直奔主题，还是我们要陷入一场漫长而痛苦的对话。

We can tell pretty quickly if someone's going to get to the point or if we are in for a long and painful conversation.

对话。

Conversation.

这在工作中尤其如此。

And this is especially true at work.

每年，糟糕的沟通都会让企业损失数千亿美元的生产力。

Every year poor communication cost businesses hundreds of billions of dollars in lost productivity.

我得承认，在我职业生涯的早期，我至少要为其中一部分负责。

And I have to confess, the early part of my career, I was responsible for at least some of that.

但我不是一个人。

But I'm not alone.

如果你和说话啰嗦或表达不清楚的人共事，请举手。

Hands up if you work with someone who is long winded or unclear.

举手的还真不少。

That's a lot of hands.

我相信大家现在想的都是这个房间以外的人。

Now I'm sure we are all thinking about people outside this room.

对吧？

Right?

除了那些互相指着对方的人。

Except for those of you pointing at each other.

但如果我们去问这个房间以外的人，会怎么样呢？

But what would happen if we ask the people outside this room?

他们可能想的就是我们。

They might be thinking about us.

虽然我们的目标是清晰简洁，但我们真的知道怎么做吗？

And while our goal is to be clear and concise, do we really know how?

每次沟通，我们都有机会带来清晰或造成混乱。

Every time we communicate, we have an opportunity to create clarity or confusion.

而清晰从第一分钟就开始了。

And clarity begins from the very first minute.

如果第一分钟做对了，你的对话就为成功打下了基础。

If you get the first minute right, you set your conversation up for success.

如果做错了，你的对话就会更长、效果更差，也更让人沮丧。

Get it wrong, your conversations will be longer, less effective and more frustrating.

现在，说不定我们都需要多一点清晰。

Now, on the off chance, we could all use a little more clarity.

今天我要和大家分享一个小技巧。

I'm going to share a tip with you today.

这个技巧能帮助你们每个人提升工作中沟通的成功率。

A tip that will help each of you improve the success of your communication at work.

这个技巧已经经过全球超过七万五千人的测试，能帮助你们每个人把开头一分钟做好。

A tip that has been tested by more than 75,000 people around the world and a tip that will help each of you get the first minute right.

就是下面这个。

And here it is.

我们在工作沟通的开头，必须包含三件事。

There are three things we must include at the start of our work messages.

这三件事分别以T、I、P开头。

And those three things begin with t, I, and p.

这就是一个TIP。

It's a tip.

TIP的第一部分是T，T代表主题。

Now the first part of the tip is the t and t stands for topic.

工作中的每次对话都需要一个明确的主题。

Every conversation at work needs a clear topic.

主题明确了，大家就知道我们在谈什么。

When the topic is clear, everyone knows what we're talking about.

大家就都能同步了。

Everyone's in sync.

每个人都能理解。

Everybody understands.

可惜现实往往不是这样，对吧？

Unfortunately, reality isn't always like this, is it?

你有没有遇到过这种情况：在谈话中，突然心里想，你到底在说什么？

How often are you in a conversation and you find yourself thinking, what are you talking about?

那通常是因为话题不明确。

That happens when the topic is not clear.

一般来说，后果不算严重，就是浪费点时间，让人有点小烦躁。

Now usually the consequences are pretty minor, a little bit of wasted time, some minor frustration.

但有时候后果会更严重。

But sometimes the consequences are more significant.

2006年，我参与了一个工程团队，负责写一份投标书，那份提案对我们公司来说价值不菲。

In 2006, I was part of an engineering team writing a bid, a proposal that was worth a lot of money to our company.

就在重要会议前几天，我老板走过来对我说，嘿，克里斯，我需要你把会议从周二改到周四。

And a couple of days before the big meeting, my boss came up to me and said, hey Chris, I need you to change the meeting from Tuesday to Thursday.

所以我就去改了会议时间，发了封邮件给客户，说有点事，我们得改时间。

So off I went and I changed the meeting, I typed an email, sent it to the client saying something's come up, we've got to change.

我按下发送键大约一分钟后，电话就响了。

And about a minute after I hit send, my phone rings.

是我老板打来的。

It's my boss.

他只有一个问题。

He had one question.

你为什么改会议时间？

Why did you change the meeting?

原来他说的是我们的一对一会议，而我想到的是客户会议。

You see he was talking about our one to one and I was thinking about the client meeting.

因为主题不明确，导致我们俩想的是完全不同的两件事。

The lack of a clear topic meant he and I were thinking about two very different things.

这大概是我对沟通不畅造成的成本做出的最大贡献了。

Now that might be the single biggest contribution I've made to the cost of bad communication.

但这也标志着我开始对改善工作中的沟通方式产生兴趣。

But it also marks the moment at which I began to be interested in improving how we communicate at work.

所以，我们所有的信息都必须以明确的主题开头。

So all our messages have to begin with a clear topic.

但怎么做呢？

But how?

我们该如何做到这一点？

How do we do this?

其实很简单。

It's really easy.

在信息开头用一句话点明你想讨论的主题。

Start your message with one sentence that names the topic you want to talk about.

而且越具体越好。

And the more specific, the better.

你可以说，我想谈谈七月份的销售数据。

You could say, I'd like to talk about July sales figures.

我想谈谈珠穆朗玛峰项目的时间表。

I want to talk about project Everest's timeline.

或者，我能谈谈这周我们的一对一会议吗？

Or can I talk about our one to one this week?

一条消息，一句话，让听众知道主题是什么。

One message, one sentence that lets your audience know what the topic is.

他们就不会想，你在说什么？

They won't be thinking, what are you talking about?

现在，有清晰的主题是个好的开始，但这还不够。

Now, having a clear topic is a great start, but it's not enough.

我们需要这个技巧的第二部分，就是I。

We need the second part of the tip, which is the I.

I代表意图。

An I stands for intent.

意图就是希望对方拿我们的信息去做什么。

Intent is what we want the other person to do with our message.

你有没有遇到过这种情况，聊了几分钟，心里却在想，你跟我说这些干嘛？

Have you ever been in a conversation and a few minutes in thought, why are you telling me this?

这种情况就是当主题或意图不明确的时候，说话的人没有告诉你该怎么处理他给的信息。

That happens when the topic when the intent isn't clear, when the speaker hasn't told you what to do with the information that they are giving you.

我们大脑里有一个过程叫选择性注意，它会过滤接收到的信息，告诉你哪些重要，哪些不重要。

Now, there's a process in our brains called selective And this filters incoming information and tells you what is important and what is not.

如果你不知道该怎么处理一条信息，大脑就会觉得这不重要，然后我们就不再听了。

And if you don't know what to do with a message, your brain says, not important and we stop listening.

在演讲开头，我说过会给你们一个提升职场沟通效果的技巧。

At the beginning of this talk, I told you I would give you a tip that would help improve the success of your communication at work.

这就让你们的脑子知道该怎么处理这些信息了。

That told your brains what to do with this information.

如果我没这么做，我可能面对一屋子人，他们礼貌地微笑，但心里都在想，你跟我们说这些干嘛？

If I hadn't done that, I could faced with a room full of people smiling politely while all thinking, why are you telling us this?

这可是我们在工作中要避免的事情。

Now that is something we want to avoid at work.

但还有一个或许更重要的理由，让你把意图说清楚。

But there is another and perhaps more important reason to make your intent clear.

你要避免让跟你说话的人感到沮丧。

You want to avoid frustrating the people you're talking to.

那天我特别倒霉，走进同事蒂娜的办公室，双手抱头坐下来，跟她讲我在一次跟高层领导的重要通话中搞砸了。

I'd had a particularly bad day, and I walked into my colleague Tina's office, and I sat down with my head in my hands, and I told her how I'd messed up on an important call with a senior leader.

我说完后，蒂娜非常热心地建议说，哦，你为什么不试试这个，下次也许能避免这种情况。

And when I finished talking, Tina very, very helpfully said, oh, why don't you try this and maybe we can avoid this next time.

她给了我一大堆建议。

And she was giving me all sorts of advice.

她说得越多，我越烦躁。

The more she spoke, the more frustrated I became.

我根本不需要她的帮助。

I didn't want her help.

这肯定很明显，因为她直接摊开手说，你显然不需要我的帮助。

And that must have been quite obvious because she just put up her hands and said, you clearly don't want my help.

那你为什么来找我？

So why are you here?

我说，蒂娜，真的很抱歉。

Said Tina, I'm really sorry.

我只是想把这些话说出来。

I just wanna get this off my chest.

能不能让我先说一分钟？

Can I just talk for a minute?

她像妈妈跟小孩子说话一样，翻了个白眼。

And like a mother talking to a small child, she rolled her eyes.

那你为什么不一开始就说清楚呢？

So why didn't you start with that?

我们需要告诉听众，他们该怎么处理我们提供的信息。

We need to tell our audience what to do with the information we're giving them.

从我一开始说话，蒂娜就在努力地工作。

Tina was working hard from the moment I started talking.

整个过程中，她都在努力帮我，而我并不需要也不想要这种帮助。

And all the way through, she was working hard to help me and I didn't want or need that.

她感到恼火，这很正常。

She was annoyed and rightly so.

所以，当你开始讲话时，在给出明确主题之后，告诉听众他们应该如何处理这个信息。

So when you start your message, after you've given a clear topic, tell your audience what to do with it.

同样，你可以用一句话做到这一点。

And again, you can do this with one line.

明确你的意图。

Make your intent clear.

如果你有问题，就说：我能问你一个问题吗？

If you have a question, say, can I ask you a question?

如果你想让某人做决定，就说：我想请你帮我做这个决定。

If you want to someone to make a decision, say I I'd like your help with this decision.

如果你想发泄一下，就说，我能发泄一分钟吗？

If you wanna get something off your chest, just say, is it okay if I vent for a minute?

如果你告诉听众该怎么处理你的信息，不仅他们的大脑会更专注，你也能避免让他们感到沮丧。

If you tell your audience what to do with your message, not only will their brains pay more attention, you will avoid frustrating them.

这还挺有用的。

That's kind of useful.

所以我们已经把话题说清楚了。

So we've made our topic clear.

我们也告诉了听众我们希望他们做什么。

We've told our audience what we intend for them to do.

现在该进入细节了，对吧？

It's time to get down into the detail, right?

进入正题。

Get into the message.

错。

Wrong.

这就是我们需要这个技巧第三部分的地方。

This is where we need the third part of the tip.

P。

The p.

P代表要点。

And p stands for point.

要点是我们信息中最重要的部分。

Point is the most important part of our message.

如果你只有五秒钟说话，那就是你要说的内容。

If you only had five seconds to speak, it's what you would say.

而且通常，这也是你的听众最关心的。

And usually, it's what your audience cares about the most.

我小时候，爸爸和我玩过一个游戏。

When I was a kid, my dad played a game with me.

我们出去旅行时，我会问，爸爸，我们要去哪里？

We were going on a journey, I'd go, dad, where are we going?

他就会说，哦，首先我们去车那边，然后上车，然后开出车道，然后左转上主街，一直开到邮局，然后右转，一直开到一栋黄色的大楼。

And he'd say, oh, well first, we're going to the car, and then we'll get in the car, and then we'll leave the driveway, and we'll turn left onto the main street until we get to the post office, and then we'll turn right until we go to a big yellow building.

我当时就想喊，我们到底要去哪儿？

I just wanted to scream, where are we going?

我想要的是简短版。

I wanted the short version.

我觉得他就是想逗我玩。

I think he just wanted to wind me up a little bit.

但几年后，我在工作中也做了同样的事。

But fast forward a few years, I was doing the same thing at work.

有人问我问题，或者我开启一段对话，我就会把所有细节、一步一步的信息都讲出来。

Someone would ask me question or I'd start a conversation and I would give all the details, step by step information.

时不时地，好吧，经常地，人们会说，克里斯，直接说重点吧。

And every so often, okay, quite often, people would say, Chris, just get to the point.

这就是我们需要的。

And that's what we need.

我们需要一个重点。

We need a point.

我们需要一个标题。

We need a headline.

一个能告诉我们对话走向的东西。

Something that tells us where this conversation is going.

当然，我们还可以包含更多信息，但那些可以稍后再说。

Now, of course, there's a lot more information we could include, but that comes later.

那是在我们让听众明白对话主题之后的事。

That comes after we've set up the audience to understand what the conversation is about.

而且我们可以很简单地做到这一点。

And we can do this quite simply.

就像军方喜欢说的，把结论放在最前面。

As the military likes to say, put the bottom line up front.

用一句话传达最重要的信息。

In one sentence, deliver the most important piece of information.

我想为延迟交货申请退款。

I want to give a refund for a late delivery.

我们的项目发布将推迟一个月。

Our project launch is going to be delayed by a month.

说出最重要的事情，你的听众就会知道对话的走向。

Say the most important thing and your audience will know where that conversation is going.

他们就不会想，你到底想说什么？

And they won't be thinking, what is your point?

如果你以主题、意图和要点开始对话，你就是在用一个清晰简洁的开场白开始。

Now, if you start your conversation with topic, intent, and point, you are starting with a clear and concise introduction.

这个开场白回答了我们都会问的三个问题。

An introduction that answers the three questions we all have.

你在说什么？

What are you talking about?

你为什么告诉我这个？

Why are you telling me this?

还有，你的重点是什么？

And what is your point?

因为事实是这样的。

Because here's the truth.

每次我们沟通，都是创造清晰或混乱的机会。

Every time we communicate, it is an opportunity to create clarity or confusion.

而主题、意图和重点就是清晰。

And topic intent and point is clarity.

所以我给你一个挑战。

So I have a challenge for you.

下次你在工作中开始对话，下次你写消息时，花点时间想想，我的主题是什么？

The next time you start a conversation at work, the next time you write a message, take a moment and think to yourself, what is my topic?

我希望对方拿这条消息做什么？

What do I intend for the other person to do with this message?

我想传达的重点是什么？

And what point do I want to deliver?

想象一下，在一个每个人都能这样做的地方工作。

Imagine working somewhere where everybody did this.

想象一下，如果每个人总是知道如何处理你给他们的信息，或者明白它讲的是什么。

Imagine if everyone always knew what to do with the message you gave them or understood what it was about.

那我们的工作会顺畅多少，轻松多少呢？

How much smoother, how much easier would our jobs be?

女士们，先生们，这就是第一分钟的力量。

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the power of the first minute.

谢谢。

Thank you.

这是克里斯·芬宁在2024年荷兰埃因霍温的TEDx演讲。

That was Chris Fenning at TEDx Eindhoven in The Netherlands in 2024.

如果你对TED的策展感到好奇，请访问ted.com/curationguidelines。

If you're curious about TED's curation, visit ted.com/curationguidelines.

今天的内容就到这里。

And that's it for today.

TED Talks Daily 是 TED 出品的播客。

TED Talks Daily is a podcast from TED.

本期节目由 TED 研究团队核实事实，并由我们的团队制作和编辑，包括 Martha Estevanos、Oliver Friedman、Lucy Little、Emma Taubner 和 Tansika Sungarnivam。

This episode was fact checked by the TED research team and produced and edited by our team, Martha Estevanos, Oliver Friedman, Lucy Little, Emma Taubner, and Tansika Sungarnivam.

另外还有 Daniella Balorezo、Christopher Faizy Bogan、Valentina Bohanini、BanBan Chang、Brian Green 和 Lainie Lott 的额外支持。

Additional support from Daniella Balorezo, Christopher Faizy Bogan, Valentina Bohanini, BanBan Chang, Brian Green, and Lainie Lott.

更多信息请访问 podcasts.ted.com。

Learn more at podcasts.ted.com.

我是 Elise Hupe。

I am Elise Hupe.

明天我会带着一个新点子回来，让你的双脚焕然一新。

I'll be back tomorrow with a fresh idea for your feet.

感谢收听。

Thanks for listening.

如今的市场瞬息万变。

Today's markets move fast.

用十分钟获取你需要的见解，尽在《巴克莱简报》，这是巴克莱投资银行的一档播客。

Get the insights you need in ten minutes with The Barclays Brief, an epodcast from Barclays Investment Bank.

通过犀利的对话和基于情景的分析，我们的顶尖专家每周都会剖析关键的市场主题。

Through sharp dialogue and scenario based analysis, our leading experts analyze key market themes each week.

所以，无论你是在管理投资组合，还是领导一家企业，《巴克莱简报》播客都能帮你今天做出更明智的决策。

So whether you're managing a portfolio or leading a business, The Barclays Brief podcast can help you make smarter decisions today.

保持敏锐。

Stay sharp.

随时掌握资讯。

Stay briefed.

在你收听播客的任何平台，都能找到《巴克莱简报》。

Find Barclays Brief wherever you get your podcasts.

你每天盯着屏幕多少小时？这对你的眼睛健康意味着什么？

How many hours a day are you staring at a screen, and what does that mean for your eye health?

我是说，看看你一天、一周的屏幕使用时间。

I mean, check out your screen time for the day, for the week.

我们一直盯着屏幕，而且没有像应该的那样休息，不管是孩子还是大人。

We're on them constantly, and we're not taking the breaks that we should, both kids and adults alike.

这对保持幼儿的眼睛健康非常关键，要限制近距离用眼的时间。

And that's really crucial at just maintaining eye health for young kids, limiting that amount of near work.

刚才那是眼科医生。

That was ophthalmologist Doctor.

鲁帕·王，她和我进行了一次深入的对话，讨论为什么在当今数字时代，保护眼睛健康比以往任何时候都重要。

Rupa Wong who joined me for an in-depth conversation about why taking care of your eye health is more important than ever in today's digital world.

她分享了定期眼科检查的预防价值，她对防蓝光眼镜的独特看法，以及更多内容，这是TED健康关于感官的特别系列的一部分。

She shares the preventative value of regular eye exams, her hot takes on blue light glasses, and more as part of a special series on TED Health about your senses.

无论你在哪里收听播客，都可以找到TED健康。

Find TED Health wherever you listen to podcasts.