拯救我生命的三个词 | 布莱克·米斯科斯基

开始之前，先提醒一下大家。

A heads up before we begin.

本期节目会讨论自杀和抑郁症相关话题。

This episode includes discussion of suicide and depression.

请谨慎决定是否收听以及何时收听。

Please take care in deciding whether and when to listen.

您正在收听的是TED Talks Daily，我们每天为您带来激发好奇心的新想法。

You're listening to TED Talks Daily, where we bring you new ideas to spark your curiosity every day.

我是主持人，Elise Hu。

I'm your host, Elise Hu.

从表面上看，Blake Mycoskie是一个光鲜的成功典范。

On paper, Blake Mycoskie is a glowing success story.

您可能知道他，他是TOMS鞋业的创始人，当初他住在停泊的帆船上，靠几袋衣服起家，后来把公司打造成了全球品牌。

You may know him as the founder of TOMS Shoes, a company he started while living out of a few bags of clothes on a docked sailboat and built into a global brand.

他赚的钱远超自己的想象，还捐出了超过一亿双鞋。

He made more money than he ever imagined and gave away more than a 100,000,000 pairs of shoes.

但除了他自己，没有人知道，就连他最亲近的人也不知道，他其实一直在挣扎。

But unbeknownst to anyone else, even those closest to him, he was struggling.

我已经迷失到那种程度，绝望到那种程度，抑郁到那种程度，甚至制定了结束自己生命的计划。

I had become so lost, so hopeless, and so depressed that I made a plan to end my life.

在他的演讲中，布莱克分享了一个非常个人化、非常脆弱的故事，讲述了他如何通过向亲人坦白真相，最终救了自己一命。

In his talk, Blake shares the deeply personal, vulnerable story of how reaching out and telling his loved ones the truth saved his life.

而随后的疗愈过程让他意识到，这种痛苦其实非常普遍，而羞耻感仍然让我们不敢谈论它。

And the healing that followed showed him just how common that kind of pain really is and how much shame still keeps us from talking about it.

当一个人经历焦虑、抑郁或精神疾病时，我们把它当成一种令人震惊的失败，好像出了什么问题。

When someone experiences anxiety or depression or a mental illness, we treat it like a shocking failure, like something went wrong.

但想想身体上的疾病吧。

But think about physical illness.

我们预料到会感冒。

We expect colds.

我们预料到会骨折。

We expect broken bones.

我们会为它们做计划。

We plan for them.

我们会谈论它们。

We talk about them.

但说到心理疾病，我们却只敢小声说。

But mental illness, we whisper.

我们把自己孤立起来。

We isolate.

我们假装自己没事。

We pretend that we are fine.

我要告诉你，沉默是会致命的。

And I'm telling you that silence is deadly.

能够自由谈论内心挣扎的空间和安全感，让布莱克发现了一个核心真相，这个真相重塑了他对自己的看法。

Having the space and safety to talk freely about his internal struggles allowed Blake to discover a core truth that reshaped how he sees himself.

现在他致力于传播这个信息。

Now he's devoting his life to sharing that message.

你的自我价值是与生俱来的，不是靠努力挣来的。

Your sense of worth is inherent, not something you have to earn.

这个内容稍后休息一下马上回来。

That's coming up right after a short break.

我是里玛·雷耶斯，在《这让人不舒服》节目中，我们讨论金钱的情感层面——它对我们的关系、自我认知以及我们做出的选择有什么影响。

I'm Rima Reyes and on This Is Uncomfortable, we talk about the emotional side of moneywhat it does to our relationships, our sense of self, and the choices we make.

每周，我都会和真实的人以及专家聊聊那些我们通常藏在心里的关于金钱的事情。

Each week, I talk with real people and experts about the parts of money we usually keep to ourselves.

每周四收听，听听关于生活以及金钱如何搅乱生活的对话和故事。

Tune in every Thursday to hear conversations and stories about life and how money messes with it.

在你最喜欢的播客应用上收听《这让人不舒服》。

Listen to this is uncomfortable on your favorite podcast app.

接下来是我们今天的TED演讲。

And now our TED talk of the day.

当我创办TOMS Shoes时，我住在玛丽安德尔湾的一艘45英尺长的帆船上。

When I started TOMS Shoes, I lived on a 45 foot sailboat in Marina Del Rey.

我当时没什么东西，就几袋衣服、一辆自行车、一块冲浪板，还有一台笔记本电脑。

I didn't have much, a few bags of clothes, a bike, a surfboard, and a laptop.

就这些了。

That was it.

而那是我人生中最快乐的几年。

And those were some of the happiest years of my life.

我每天醒来，都能感受到海浪轻轻摇晃着船。

I woke up to the ocean rocking me.

我光着脚煮咖啡。

I made coffee barefoot.

我感觉头脑清醒，充满灵感，活力满满。

I felt clear, inspired, and alive.

现在，让我们快进二十年。

Now, let's fast forward twenty years.

TOMS已经成了一个全球品牌。

TOMS had become a global brand.

我们的一对一模式已经向世界各地有需要的儿童捐赠了超过一亿双鞋。

Our one for one model had given over a 100,000,000 shoes to children in need around the world.

就我个人而言，我赚到的钱比我曾经想象的还要多。

And personally, I had made more money than I ever thought was possible.

然而，二十三年前，我变得如此迷失、如此绝望、如此抑郁，以至于我制定了一个结束自己生命的计划。

And yet, twenty three months ago, I had become so lost, so hopeless, and so depressed that I made a plan to end my life.

我选择了那艘船作为实施计划的地方。

And I chose that boat as the place to do it on.

不是因为我想在那里死去，而是因为我不想让我的家人成为发现我的人。

Not because I wanted to die there, but because I didn't want my family to be the ones who found me.

知道我今天要在这个舞台上说出这些，绝对是准备这次演讲中最难的部分。

Knowing that I was going to say that today here on this stage is definitely the hardest part of preparing for this talk.

幸运的是，我没有执行那个计划。

Thankfully, I did not act on that plan.

相反，我向我的朋友和家人求助，并告诉了他们真相。

Instead, I reached out to my friends and my family, and I told them the truth.

不是说我压力大，也不是说我失去了目标。

Not that I was stressed, not that I lost my purpose.

我告诉他们我不好，这个决定救了我的命。

I told them I wasn't okay, and that decision saved my life.

后来我遇到了一位非常棒的精神科医生，他帮我真正慢下来，理解我是怎么走到那一步的。

I then met an incredible psychiatrist who helped me really slow down and understand how I got there.

不只是我当时的感受，而是为什么会有那样的感受。

Not just what I was feeling, but why.

然后我们花了五个月时间，让我逐渐停掉四种不同的药物，那些药是我被误诊为双相情感障碍时开的。

We then spent five months weaning me off four different medications I had been put on when I was misdiagnosed as bipolar.

五个月。

Five months.

在那段时间里，焦虑并没有好转，反而更严重了。

And during that time, the anxiety did not get better, it got worse.

我脑子里那些纷乱的念头几乎变得无法忍受。

And the racing thoughts in my head almost became unbearable.

但最终，我的思绪开始平静下来，有些东西变得无法忽视。

But eventually, my mind started to settle, and something became impossible to ignore.

这一切背后有一个核心创伤，一个非常非常古老的创伤。

There was a core wound underneath it all, a very, very old one.

它说的是：你不够好。

And it said this, you are not enough.

事实是，我从来没有觉得自己足够好。

The truth is, I had never felt that I was enough.

无论是小时候，作为运动员，作为创始人，还是作为一个人。

Not as a kid, not as an athlete, not as a founder, not as a human.

当我诚实地审视自己的生活时，我看到了非常痛苦的东西。

And when I looked honestly at my life, I saw something that was really painful.

我前四十八年所做的一切，都是在试图证明自己的价值。

Everything I had done for the first forty eight years was an attempt to earn my worth.

成为网球冠军，创办多家企业，创立TOMS，成为自觉资本主义的代言人。

Becoming a championship tennis player, starting multiple businesses, building TOMS and becoming the poster child of conscious capitalism.

我是说，那些杂志封面、像这样的舞台、奖项和荣誉，都是因为我以为成就能够压住那个声音。

I mean, there were the magazine covers, the stages just like this one, the awards and the accolades because I believed that achievement would quiet that voice.

结果反而让它更响了。

Instead, it made it louder.

那个声音在我脑子里越来越响，响到我都不想活了。

And it got so loud inside my mind that I didn't want to be alive anymore.

但有一天，在和治疗师的一次深度疗愈中，终于有什么东西变了。

But one day, during a deep healing session with my therapist, something finally shifted.

我开始把自己的生活看作不是一个成功故事，而是一个策略。

I began to see my life not as a success story, but as a strategy.

一个用来赚取自我价值的策略。

A strategy to earn worth.

当那个策略失败时，我的整个世界都崩塌了。

And when that strategy failed, my whole world had collapsed.

所以有一天，我的治疗师提了个建议，一开始听起来真的很荒唐。

So my therapist suggested something one day that honestly sounded ridiculous at first.

他说，布莱克，四十多年来，你的大脑一直在告诉你，你不够好。

He said, Blake, for over forty years, your mind has been telling you that you're not enough.

所以，除非我们重新编程你的潜意识，重新连接你的神经通路，否则你余生都要带着这个限制性信念生活。

So you are going to live with this limiting belief the rest of your life unless we reprogram your subconscious and rewire your neural pathways.

于是我们做了一个承诺。

So we made a commitment.

接下来的四十天，我每天早上醒来，立刻坐起来，闭上眼睛，反复重复一句话，持续二十分钟。

For the next forty days, I would wake up every morning, immediately sit up in bed and repeat one sentence over and over again for twenty minutes with my eyes closed.

我足够了。

I am enough.

我一直都足够了。

I've always been enough.

然后晚上睡觉前，我会再做一次。

And then before going to bed later that night, I would do it again.

我足够了。

I am enough.

我一直都足够好。

I've always been enough.

早上二十分钟，晚上二十分钟，坚持四十天。

Twenty minutes in the morning, twenty minutes at night for forty days.

说实话，头几周真的很难熬。

Now, the first few weeks honestly were brutal.

二十分钟感觉像两个小时，整个练习也显得很无聊。

Twenty minutes felt like two hours, and the whole practice felt so trivial.

三周之后，我并没有感觉到任何变化。

After three weeks, I didn't feel any different.

我差点就放弃了，想换个治疗师。

So I almost quit and changed therapist.

但我实在太渴望好转了，而且其他方法都没用，所以我决定坚持下去。

But I was so damn desperate to feel better and nothing else had worked, so I decided to stick with it.

大概到第二十八天的时候，我坐在床上念着那些话，突然感觉像有一股电流穿过身体，一种从未有过的轻松和平静涌上心头。

And on the twenty eighth day around there, I was sitting up in bed saying the words, and all of a sudden, I felt almost like an electric shock go through my body, and a lightness and a peace I had never felt.

过去几周一直像念经一样的那句话，那一刻竟然真的感觉是真的了。

And what had been a generic mantra for the past couple weeks actually felt true.

我足够了，而且我一直都足够。

I am enough, and I always have been.

不是因为我的成就，不是因为我的作品，更不是因为世界怎么看我，而是因为我存在本身。

Not because of what I've done, not because of what I've built, and definitely not because of what the world thinks of me, but just because I exist.

谢谢。

Thank you.

当那句话不再只是我每天说出口的话，而是我身体里真正感受到的东西时，一切都变了。

And and when that stopped being something that day that I said out loud and something I felt in my body, everything changed.

我再次简化了我的生活，我剥掉了那些噪音，我不再表演了。

I simplified my life again, I stripped away the noise, and I stopped performing.

我意识到，如果我能花几十年去努力证明自己的价值，甚至差点为此丢掉性命，那这个伤口无处不在，没有人能幸免。

And I realized this, if I could spend decades trying to earn my worth and if I could almost lose my life trying to earn it, then this wound is everywhere, and no one is immune to it.

现在，当有人经历焦虑、抑郁或精神疾病时，我们把它当作一个令人震惊的失败，好像出了什么问题。

Right now, when someone experiences anxiety or depression or a mental illness, we treat it like a shocking failure, like something went wrong.

但想想身体上的疾病。

But think about physical illness.

我们预料到它们会发生。

We expect it.

我们预料会感冒。

We expect colds.

我们预料会骨折。

We expect broken bones.

我们会为它们做计划，我们会谈论它们，但心理疾病，我们却低声细语，我们孤立自己，我们假装自己没事。

We plan for them, we talk about them, but mental illness, we whisper, we isolate, We pretend that we are fine.

我要告诉你们，沉默是致命的。

And I'm telling you that silence is deadly.

我差点成为统计数据的一部分，不是因为我软弱，而是因为我太羞愧，不敢告诉朋友们我真实的状况。

I almost became part of a statistic not because I was weak, but because I was too ashamed to tell my friends how I was really doing.

今天，我想请在座的各位回答两个问题。

Today, I'd like to ask everyone here two questions.

请曾经骨折过的人举手。

Please raise your hand if you have ever broken a bone.

谢谢。

Thank you.

看起来大约有40%的人举手了，这挺有意思的，因为我爸爸——他其实是骨科医生——说差不多就是这个比例。

So it looks like about 40% of the room, which is interesting because that's what my dad said, who's actually an orthopedic surgeon, said it would be.

所以他猜对了。

So he got that one right.

现在问一个更难的问题。

A harder question now.

如果你曾被诊断出患有严重的焦虑症、抑郁症、双相情感障碍或其他心理健康问题，请举手好吗？

If you've ever been diagnosed with severe anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder or a mental health condition, would you please raise your hand?

谢谢你们的勇气。

Thank you for your bravery.

注意，举手的人少了很多。

Notice, a lot fewer hands went up.

但根据美国卫生部的数据，这两个问题应该看到差不多同样多的人举手。

But according to the US Department of Health, we should have seen about the same number of hands for both questions.

事实上，百分之五十的人一生中会被诊断出某种心理健康问题。

In fact, fifty percent of all people will be diagnosed with a mental health condition during their lifetime.

那为什么我们为一种情况做准备，却对另一种感到羞耻呢？

So why do we plan for one and are ashamed of the other?

如果我们像对待身体疾病一样对待心理疾病，会怎么样？

What if we expected mental illness the same way we expect physical illness?

当你有所准备时，它来临时你就不会那么难为情。

When you expect it, you're less ashamed when it arrives.

你会更早地寻求帮助。

You reach out sooner.

更快得到治疗，死亡的人也会更少。

You get help faster, And fewer people die.

这不是抽象的概念。

This is not abstract.

研究结果非常明确。

The research is absolutely clear.

跟至少一个人聊聊你真实的感受，能大大降低自杀风险。

Talking about how you're really doing with at least one person greatly reduces suicide risk.

沉默并不能保护我们。

Silence does not protect us.

它只会让我们更加孤立。

It isolates us.

羞耻感导致沉默。

Shame creates silence.

沉默导致孤立。

Silence creates isolation.

孤立带来风险。

Isolation creates risk.

我深有体会，因为我亲身经历过这种连锁反应。

I know because I lived that chain reaction.

现在，我正把自己的生命和资源投入到开启一个新的链条中。

And now, I'm dedicating my life and my resources to starting a new chain.

这个链条叫做“我们足够”给予链。

It's called the we are enough giving chain.

一开始，我制作了一条简单的串珠手链，每天戴着，提醒自己我足够好。

It started with me creating a simple beaded bracelet to wear every single day as a reminder to myself that I am enough.

但后来我意识到了一件事。

But then I realized something.

这条手链真正的力量不在于我自己佩戴。

The real power of this bracelet was not wearing it myself.

而在于把它分享给我爱的人，让他们每天都知道我支持他们，他们并不孤单，我们都足够好。

It was sharing it with someone I love so that they would know every day that I got their back, that they're not alone, that we are all enough.

如今，它的运作方式很简单。

And today, the way it works is simple.

每个收到“足够”手链的人，我们都会请他们再把它送给另一个人。

Every person that is given an enough bracelet, we ask them to send it to just one more person.

现在我想请你跟我一起快速做一件事。

Now I'd like to ask you to do something with me real quickly.

请闭上眼睛，我想让你想想现在你生活中那个最需要听到这句话的人。

Please close your eyes, and I'd like you to think of the one person in your life right now that could use this message.

或者想想那个一直让你觉得自己足够好的人。

Or think of the one person in your life that has always made you feel enough.

好的。

Okay.

睁开眼睛。

Open your eyes.

我希望你能花六十秒，给那个人发一条这样的信息。

I ask that you take sixty seconds and send one to that person.

因为如果我们都做这件简单的事，戴上这些手链，我相信我们会看到自杀率下降，大家的心理健康也会改善，原因如下。

Because if we all take this simple task and wear these bracelets, I believe we will see a reduction in suicides and an improvement in our collective mental health, and here's why.

当你觉得自己不够好时，你会一直活在过去，反复纠结自己犯过的错误，以及由此带来的羞耻和内疚。

When you do not feel enough, you are constantly living in the past, obsessing over the mistakes that you've made and the shame and the guilt you carry because of them.

而且，当你觉得自己不够好的时候，就像我一样，你会一直活在未来，想着我该做什么、取得什么成就或者得到什么，才能最终觉得自己够好了呢？

And also, when you do not feel enough, and very much like me, you're constantly living in the future, thinking what can I do, achieve, or obtain to finally feel enough?

但是，当你开始新的一天，并且把这一天建立在“你本来就已经足够好”这个事实上，你就能活在当下。

But when you start your day and you ground your day in the fact that you are already enough just as you are, you get to live in the present.

几乎历史上所有的精神导师都只认同一点，那就是我们唯一能持续获得平静和快乐的地方，就是当下。

And almost every spiritual teacher throughout all of history agrees on only one thing, and that is the only place we can access peace and joy consistently is in the present moment.

现在，当你戴上这个手环，你就是在帮助消除人们对心理健康的偏见。

Now, when you wear this bracelet, you are helping to destigmatize mental health.

但我觉得这比那更个人化。

But I would say it's much more personal than that.

当你戴上这个手环，你就是在发出一个信号，一个给周围人的信号，告诉他们：你可以跟我聊。

When you wear this bracelet, you're sending a signal, a signal to those around you that says, you can talk to me.

你可以告诉我你真实的感受。

You can tell me how you're really doing.

而仅仅是这样，就已经被证明能挽救生命。

And just that is proven to save lives.

我的愿景不仅仅是关于一条手链。

Now, my vision is not just about a bracelet.

而是关于一个我们不再隐藏的世界。

It's about a world where we stop hiding.

一个我们正视心理疾病、以关怀而非羞耻来应对的世界。

It's about a world where we expect mental illness and respond in care instead of shame.

也是一个我们彼此坦诚相告真实感受的世界，因为真诚的对话能拯救生命。

And it's about a world where we tell each other how we're really doing, because honest conversation saves lives.

我今天站在这里，是因为我主动寻求了帮助。

I'm here today because I reached out.

也是因为有人愿意倾听，我非常非常感激今天能在这里与你们分享这些。

I'm also here because someone listened, and I'm so so thankful to be here today to share this with you.

你并没有破碎。

You are not broken.

你并不软弱。

You are not weak.

你并不孤单。

You are not alone.

你已经足够了，而且永远都足够。

You are enough and you always will be.

谢谢。

Thank you.

刚才那是布莱克·麦考斯基在TED 2026大会上的演讲。

That was Blake Mycoskie speaking at TED twenty twenty six.

如果你或你认识的人正在经历困难，请查看我们在节目说明中附上的资源。

If you or someone you know is struggling, please see the resources we have included in the show notes.

你并不孤单。

You are not alone.

如果你对TED的策展感兴趣，可以访问ted.com/curationguidelines。

If you're curious about TED's curation, visit ted.com/curationguidelines.

今天的内容就到这里。

And that's it for today.

TED每日演讲是TED的一档播客。

TED Talks Daily is a podcast from TED.

本期节目由TED研究团队进行事实核查，并由我们的团队制作和编辑，团队成员包括Martha Estevanos、Oliver Friedman、Lucy Little、Emma Taubner和Tansika Signalarnivong。

This episode was fact checked by the TED research team and produced and edited by our team, Martha Estevanos, Oliver Friedman, Lucy Little, Emma Taubner, and Tansika Signalarnivong.

另外还要感谢Daniella Balorezo、Christopher Faizy Bogan、Valentina Bohanini、Banban Chang、Brian Green和Lainie Lott的支持。

Additional support from Daniella Balorezo, Christopher Faizy Bogan, Valentina Bohanini, Banban Chang, Brian Green, and Lainie Lott.

更多内容请访问podcasts.ted.com。

Learn more at podcasts.ted.com.

我是Elise Hu。

I am Elise Hu.

明天我会带着一个新想法回来，让你的耳朵焕然一新。

I'll be back tomorrow with a fresh idea for your feet.

感谢收听。

Thanks for listening.

微生物学家Ann Madden说，当你触摸自己的脸时，你触摸到的远不止是你的皮肤。

Microbiologist Ann Madden says when you touch your face, you are touching much more than just your skin.

我们是一个生态系统，所以实际上你脸上有超过一千亿个细菌细胞。

We are an ecosystem and so you're actually feeling over a 100,000,000,000 bacterial cells on your face.

从微生物到语言，再到幼儿园小朋友，关于微小却强大的想法。

From microbes to language to kindergarteners, ideas about the small but mighty.

接下来是NPR的TED广播时间。

That's next time on the TED Radio Hour from NPR.

无论你在哪里收听播客，都可以订阅或收听TED广播时间。

Subscribe or listen to the TED Radio Hour wherever you get your podcasts.