405 | 在工作中建立自信的三种方法，按效果从低到高排序

如果你曾经感觉自己的信心在增长，但一遇到困难的工作会议或令人畏惧的对话，信心就瞬间崩塌，那么本期节目就是为你准备的。

If you've ever felt like your confidence is growing, only to have it knocked down as soon as you're in a difficult work meeting or an intimidating conversation, today's episode is for you.

你的信心之所以感觉不稳定，像过山车一样起起落落，是因为建立信心的方式有多种，而这些方式并不都同等有效。

The reason that your confidence can feel inconsistent or like it's on this up and down roller coaster is because there are different ways of building confidence, and not all of those ways are created equal.

建立信心有三种不同的方法。

There are three different approaches to building confidence.

我习惯把这三种方法称为‘垃圾食品法’、‘健康食品法’和‘家常饭菜法’。

I like to call these approaches the junk food approach, the health food approach, and the home cooked meal approach.

每种方法都会带来不同类型的自信。

And they will each result in a different type of confidence.

首先，让我来为你讲解‘垃圾食品法’。

So let me start by teaching you about the junk food approach.

垃圾食品法是指通过获得下一个荣誉或达成下一个里程碑来建立自信。

The junk food approach is when you build confidence by achieving that next accolade or that next milestone.

这可能意味着下一个职位头衔或晋升、下一个学位，或是来自上司的下一次表扬。

So that might be that next job title or promotion, that next academic degree, that next piece of praise from your boss.

这种做法被称为垃圾食品法，是因为吃垃圾食品时，你会暂时感到兴奋，但随后就会崩溃。

The reason it's called the junk food approach is because when you eat junk food, you get a temporary sugar high and then you crash.

同样地，用垃圾食品法建立自信时，当你达成某个荣誉或里程碑时，你会暂时感到自信高涨，但紧接着也会经历低谷。

And similarly, with the junk food method of building confidence, when you achieve that accolade or that milestone, you experience a temporary high in your confidence, but you also then will experience a crash.

这种做法被称为垃圾食品法的另一个原因是它具有成瘾性。

Another reason it's called the junk food method is because it's addictive.

吃垃圾食品时，你总是渴望下一口，下一块巧克力，下一次糖分带来的快感。

With junk food, you constantly want the next fix, that next piece of chocolate, that next sugar high.

同样地，在用垃圾食品法建立自信时，它也是成瘾的。

And similarly, when it comes to the junk food method of building confidence, it's addictive.

每当你达成一个里程碑或成就时，都会获得间歇性的奖励。

You get an intermittent reward every time you achieve a milestone or an accomplishment.

但因为这种感觉会消退，所以你会一直陷入对下一个成就和里程碑的永恒追逐中。

But because that feeling wears off, it keeps you in this perpetual chase of the next accomplishment and the next milestone.

用垃圾食品法建立自信时，一个令人沮丧且情绪耗竭的问题是，你的自信总是寄托在未来的某个地方。

And something that can be frustrating and emotionally exhausting when it comes to the junk food method of building confidence is that the confidence always lives somewhere out in the future.

它会让人持续产生一种感觉：我现在没有自信，但只要未来实现了X、Y、Z这样的结果，我就会变得自信。

It can create a perpetual experience of, I don't feel confident now, but as soon as I experience outcome x y z in the future, then I'll feel confident.

有趣的是，垃圾食品确实能为你提供营养。

Now the interesting thing about junk food is it does nourish you.

它确实含有热量。

It does have calories.

你可以靠垃圾食品生存。

You can survive off of junk food.

但就像长期只吃垃圾食品会让你感觉不适一样。

But just like a diet of junk food will make you feel unwell.

你不会有充沛的精力。

You will not have good energy.

你不会感觉状态最好。

You will not feel your best.

同样，当你的自信仅依赖于那些成就和里程碑时，你就会一直处于一种持续的起伏之中——获得成就时的高峰，以及随之而来的低谷。

Similarly, when the proverbial diet for your confidence only consists of those accomplishments and milestones, you will be on that constant up and down roller coaster of the high you get when you achieve and then the crash that comes after.

尽管它令人上瘾，你却始终无法感到满足。

And even though it's addictive, you never quite feel satisfied.

你始终无法感到充实。

You never quite feel nourished.

如果你在这一模式中看到了自己的影子，非常重要的是不要责备自己。

Now if you recognize yourself in this pattern, it's very important not to blame yourself.

我们所处的文化强烈鼓励用这种‘垃圾食品’的方式来建立自信。

The culture that we live in strongly encourages the junk food method of building confidence.

我们生活在一个充斥着《福布斯》30位30岁以下精英、人们在领英上发布成就的世界，而这些帖子往往获得最多的点赞和评论。

We live in a world of Forbes thirty under thirty and people posting their achievements on LinkedIn and we always see that those are the posts that get the most likes and the most comments.

这是因为，在很多方面，我们的文化和社会都是围绕着成就来组织的。

This is because in many ways, our culture and society is organized around accomplishments.

当人们取得成就时，我们会更看重他们。

We value people more when they accomplish things.

因此，我们很自然地会想：好吧，不错。

So it's very natural for us to then think, okay, cool.

我想出去做些事情，取得成就。

I want to go out and accomplish things.

我自己就是一个正在康复的‘垃圾食品式自信’成瘾者。

And I myself am a recovering junk food confidence junkie.

我生命早期一直在努力通过表现优异和取得重大成就来建立自信。

I spent the beginning part of my life trying to build confidence by doing things well and achieving big things.

陷入这种模式非常正常，也很人性化，努力追求成就本身并没有错。

This is a very normal, very human pattern to fall into, and there's nothing wrong with trying to achieve things.

只是我们不希望这成为我们感知内在力量和价值的唯一方式。

It's just that we don't want that to be the only way that we know how to feel strong and valuable inside.

垃圾食品也是同样的道理。

It's the same with junk food.

对吧？

Right?

垃圾食品本身并不坏。

Junk food's not bad.

这并不会要了你的命。

It's not gonna kill you.

吃一块美味的巧克力棒完全可以提升你的生活品质。

Having a delicious chocolate bar can completely enhance your life.

你只是不希望你的整个饮食都由垃圾食品组成。

You just don't want your entire diet to be comprised of junk food.

现在，你可能在想，好吧，听起来这个方法并不管用。

Now, you might be thinking, okay, sounds like this method doesn't work.

还有其他方法吗？

Are there other methods?

这就引出了构建自信的第二种方法，我称之为健康食品法。

And that brings me to the next method for building confidence which is what I call the health food method.

在深入探讨健康食品方法之前，我先做个简短的公告。

Quick announcement before I dive into the health food approach.

在3月16日星期一，我将开放‘释放你的声音’挑战的报名。

On Monday, March 16, I'm opening registration for the Unleash Your Voice Challenge.

这是一个实时的社区导向活动，你将在这里学习在职场中建立自信声音的基本技巧。

This is a real time community focused event where you're going to learn the fundamentals of building a confident voice at work.

你会采取一些小而可行的行动步骤，以便实践所学内容，并且你将在一个充满鼓励的、志同道合的职业女性社区中完成这一切。

You'll take small, doable action steps so you can implement what you're learning, and you're going to do that inside an encouraging community of like minded professional women.

如果你渴望在自信方面获得真正的成长，那么这个活动你绝对不能错过。

If you are ready for real growth in your confidence, you don't want to miss this event.

注册将于3月16日开放。

Registration opens March 16.

如果你在听到这期节目时正好临近那个时间，你可以在节目说明中找到链接。

And if you're listening to this episode around that time, you will find the link in the show notes.

现在，我们回到健康饮食法。

And now, back to the health food method.

健康饮食法是指通过传统的自助资源来建立你的自信。

The health food method is when you build your confidence through traditional self help resources.

这通常包括书籍、播客，就像这档节目一样，也许你还会观看短视频。

This usually includes books, podcasts just like this one, Maybe you watch short videos.

它还可以包括写日记、积极自我肯定，以及在便利贴上写提醒给自己。

It can also include journaling and affirmation and writing yourself reminders on a sticky note.

所有这些都属于通过健康饮食式方法建立自信的例子。

All of these are examples of the health food method of building confidence.

我称它为健康饮食式方法有两个原因。

There are two reasons that I call it the health food method.

第一，就像社会告诉我们为了健康应该吃的食物一样，建立自信的健康饮食式方法也是社会告诉我们会帮助我们培养更深层、更健康自我信心的方法。

Number one, just like healthy food is the food that society tells us we are supposed to eat to be healthy, the health food methods for building confidence are the methods that society tells us will help us start to really build that deeper, healthier sense of self confidence.

我称它为健康饮食式方法的第二个原因是，就像健康食品有时会让你感到不满足一样。

Now there's a second reason I call it the health food method, and this is because just like health food can sometimes leave you feeling unsatisfied.

对吧？

Right?

你可能有过这样的经历，我知道我肯定有过，当你吃了一顿超级健康的沙拉后，心里却想：我真想吃一块瑞斯花生酱巧克力。

Maybe you've had times, I know I certainly have, where you eat a super healthy salad and then afterwards, you think to yourself, I need a Reese's peanut butter cup.

意思是，这根本没满足我。

Like, this didn't do it for me.

就像健康食品有时会让人感到不满足、不充实一样。

Just like healthy food can sometimes leave you feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled.

同样，通过健康食品方式建立自信也可能让你感到不满足、不充实。

Similarly, the health food method of building confidence can leave you feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled.

这是一种非常常见的体验。

This is a really common experience.

你在听播客。

You're listening to podcasts.

你在吸收各种资源。

You're consuming the resources.

你甚至也在做一些日记练习，但你仍然感觉不到充实和满足。

You're even doing some of the journaling, but you're not feeling full and satisfied.

你没有感受到你所期待的那种更深层、更真切的转变。

You're not feeling that deeper, more visceral shift that you are hoping for.

一个非常常见的模式是：你听了播客或看了视频后，离开时觉得：好吧，这很有帮助。

A pattern that's really common is you listen to the podcast or you watch the video and you leave feeling like, okay, this is helpful.

我感觉更有信心了。

I feel more confident.

但一旦你遇到困难的情况，比如参加一场令人紧张的工作会议，或者老板突然点名让你发言时，

But then as soon as you're in a difficult situation, maybe you're in an intimidating work meeting or maybe your boss calls on you unexpectedly and you have to speak in the room.

一旦进入这些情境，那份自信就消失得无影无踪。

As soon as you're in one of those situations, that confidence is nowhere to be found.

这就是为什么‘健康食品式’的方法行不通。

Here's why the health food approach doesn't work.

我想让你想象一下，你正在拼一幅拼图，但缺了一块关键的部件。

I want you to imagine that you are doing a jigsaw puzzle and you're missing a specific piece.

你的拼图上有个缺口。

You've got a hole in the puzzle.

这时有人走过来对你说：嘿，让我帮你找到那块缺失的拼图。

And then someone comes over to you and says, hey, let me help you find that missing piece.

他们开始从杂乱的拼图堆里给你递来各种碎片。

And they start handing you puzzle pieces from the messy pile.

他们不断递给你错误的碎片。

And they keep handing you the wrong piece.

你开始感到沮丧，意识到他们根本没看过这个拼图。

And you start to get frustrated and you realize that they haven't even looked at the puzzle.

他们根本不知道你缺的是哪一块。

They don't even know what piece you are missing.

他们只是从杂乱的碎片堆里随便递给你一些，这毫无帮助，因为你需要他们先看懂拼图，知道该找什么。

They are just handing you random pieces from the pile which isn't helpful because you need them to look at the puzzle and know what they're looking for.

在自助建议中，常常出现这种模式。

With self help advice, this is often the dynamic that plays out.

当你听播客或阅读某些内容时，作者对你一无所知，不了解你的情感世界和心理体验。

When you are listening to a podcast or reading something, the person who authored that doesn't know anything about you and your emotional world and your psychological experience.

那个人从未有机会看过你那幅象征性的拼图。

That person hasn't had a chance to look at your proverbial puzzle.

因此，他们给你建议和技巧，但这些技巧并非基于对你本人的了解。

So they're handing you advice, and they're handing you tips, but those tips aren't based on knowledge of who you are.

这些只是他们希望对你有帮助、希望适用于你情况的建议。

Those are just tips that they hope will be helpful, that they hope will apply to your situation.

这就像是拼图的类比，但他们看不到你、你的内心世界、你的挣扎、纠结和不安全感，以及你思维反复卡住的地方，他们给你的那些碎片几乎不可能是正确的。

It's just like the puzzle analogy without them being able to see you and your inner world and your struggles and hang ups and insecurities and the places where your mind gets stuck over and over and over, the pieces that they hand you are unlikely to be the right pieces.

他们可能给你最美丽、最完美、最闪亮的拼图碎片。

And they could hand you the most beautiful, perfect, shiny puzzle pieces.

他们提供的建议可能很好，质量很高。

They could be offering you advice that is good, that is quality.

但如果他们不知道自己在找什么，也不知道自己在帮你填补拼图的哪一部分，那么这些建议在帮助你的速度和深度上都会受到限制。

But if they don't know what it is they're looking for and they don't know what part of the puzzle they are helping you fill in, then the advice is going to be limited in how quickly it can help you and in how deeply it can help you.

我分享这一点，是因为很多时候，你虽然消费了自助内容，却依然感到被困住。

And I share this because a lot of times, you will consume self help and still feel stuck.

然后你会担心，也许你自己出了什么问题。

And then you will worry that maybe something is wrong with you.

也许这些建议对别人都有效，唯独对你无效，因为你 uniquely stuck，你 uniquely broken。

And maybe this advice works for everybody else except you because you are uniquely stuck and you are uniquely broken.

重要的是要记住，虽然自助资源可以很美好，并能激励你。

And it's important to remember that while self help can be a beautiful resource, it can inspire you.

它能教你新东西。

It can teach you new things.

它能帮助你以新的方式看待自己和世界。

It can help you see yourself and the world in new ways.

但它缺乏那种持续在你心理深处创造深刻、有意义转变所需的洞察力和精准度。

It doesn't have the level of insight and precision that it would need to have to consistently create deep, meaningful shifts in your psyche.

我希望你能把这当作一个好消息，因为它意味着，如果你一直在努力学习关于自信的知识，并尽力应用所学，却仍未取得你期望的进步。

I hope that this lands as good news because it means that if you've been working really hard at learning about confidence and doing your best to apply what you're learning, but you're not making the progress you wanna make.

这并不是因为你出了什么问题。

It's not because something's wrong with you.

也不是因为你破碎了。

It's not because you are broken.

好消息是，还有一种建立自信的方法。

Now the good news is there's one more approach to building confidence.

这被称为家常饭方法，而这是最有效的方法。

It's called the home cooked meal approach, and this is the approach that works best.

家常饭方法是指通过内在的心理探索，结合有意识地改变你的行为和思维方式来建立自信。

The home cooked meal approach is when you build confidence through a combination of internal psychological exploration coupled with intentional change in your behavior and your ways of thinking.

如果这听起来很复杂，其实它只是意味着理解你的想法和感受，以及你为何养成这些习惯，并基于对阻碍你前进的模式的更深层理解，来改变你的想法、感受和习惯。

If this feels like a mouthful, all it really means is understanding your thoughts and feelings and why you adopt the habits that you do and working to change your thoughts and feelings and habits based on that deeper understanding of the patterns that are keeping you stuck.

你可能会觉得这听起来很多，而事实确实如此。

You might be thinking that sounds like a lot, and the truth is it is a lot.

这就是为什么我称之为家常饭方法。

That's why I call it the home cooked meal approach.

如果我们不花时间在厨房里烹饪，就无法获得那种温暖、美味、滋养的家常饭体验。

We can't really get that experience of like a warm, delicious, nourishing home cooked meal without spending the time in the kitchen to make that meal.

你无法通过捷径获得一锅风味浓郁的炖菜或一盘美味的家常菜。

You can't shortcut your way to a really flavorful stew or a really delicious plate of home cooked food.

同样，在家常饭式的自信方法中，你也无法通过捷径获得那种深刻、丰富、多层次的自信。

And similarly, with the home cooked meal confidence approach, you can't really shortcut your way to that deep, rich, layered confidence.

但就像家常饭菜那样美味、满足且值得，通过这种方法建立的自信也同样深厚、宝贵且富有力量，值得你付出努力。

But just like a home cooked meal is so delicious and so satisfying and so worth it, similarly, the confidence you build through this approach is so deep and so valuable and so empowering that it is worth the effort it takes.

那么，让我们来谈谈如何建立家常饭菜式的自信。

So let's talk about how you build home cooked meal confidence.

这种自信正是我帮助我的客户所建立的。

This is the type of confidence that I help my clients build.

当我与他们合作时，我会从三个层面入手。

And when I'm working with them, I'm approaching it in three layers.

第一个层面是情感层面。

The first layer is the emotional layer.

在这个层面，你学会识别那些有时会感受到的负面情绪。

This is where you learn to identify the difficult emotions that you sometimes feel.

比如压力过大、紧张，或感到渺小和胆怯。

Emotions like overwhelm or nervousness or feeling small and intimidated.

你还会学会在经历这些情绪时，不陷入羞愧和自我厌恶。

And you learn how to not collapse into shame and self loathing when you experience those emotions.

这让你即使在感到压力和畏惧的情况下，也能勇敢表达、占据空间。

This allows you to speak up and take up space even in situations where you feel stretched and intimidated.

在这种情况下，感到畏惧和紧张非常普遍，这种情绪会引发羞耻感，让你僵住，觉得根本无法开口。

In situations like that, it's very common to feel intimidated and to feel nervous and for that to overwhelm you with shame and cause you to freeze and make it feel impossible for you to speak up.

通过‘家常饭式自信’，你练习接纳这种情绪体验，增强内在力量，这样当你感到紧张或畏惧时，这种情绪不再足以击垮你。

With home cooked meal confidence, you practice tolerating that emotional experience and becoming internally stronger so that when you feel nervous or you feel intimidated, that emotion is not enough to knock you down.

你依然能够开口表达。

You are still able to speak up.

你依然能够参与对话。

You are still able to participate in the conversation.

当你看到自己做到了这一点，你建立的自信是巨大的，因为你走出房间时会想：没有什么能击倒我。

And when you watch yourself do that, the confidence you build is enormous because you walk out of the room thinking nothing can knock me down.

当你对自己拥有这种深刻的认知——艰难的事情和挑战性的情绪无法击垮你——你就不再害怕困难的事物。

And when you hold that knowing about yourself, that deep knowing that hard things and challenging emotions don't knock you down, you stop being afraid of difficult things.

而这才是真正让你感到无所畏惧、势不可挡的时候。

And this is truly when you feel fearless and you feel unstoppable.

这就是家常饭自信的情感层面。

So that is the emotional layer of home cooked meal confidence.

但当我采用这种方法时，还有更多要素是我希望去关注的。

But there are more elements that I like to work on when it comes to this approach.

建立这种自信的第二个支柱是学会识别自己思维中主观的负面倾向，并学会采用更健康的观点。

The second pillar of building this type of confidence is learning to recognize the subjective negativity that is happening in your own thinking and learning to adopt a healthier perspective.

我们的大脑倾向于关注负面，这是人之常情。

It is human nature for our brains to go towards the negative.

我确信你一定经历过这种情况。

And I'm sure you've experienced this.

对自己负面的想法、自我羞辱、在脑海中贬低自己，以及对周围世界产生负面想法。

Negative thoughts about yourself, shaming yourself, insulting yourself in your head, and negative thoughts about the world around you.

比如认为别人不喜欢我。

Thinking things like people don't like me.

别人觉得我说话很蠢。

People think I sound stupid.

人们觉得我不该待在这个房间里。

People think that I don't belong in this room.

这些全是我们内心的想法，当我们产生这些想法时，它们感觉无比真实。

These are all internal thoughts that we have that feel really real to us when we are having these thoughts.

我们会深深陷入并被困在这些想法中，即使它们并不真实，我们也会把它们当作现实来体验。

We get really absorbed and stuck in those thoughts and we experience them as reality even when they are not.

而‘家常饭自信’的一部分，就是学会识别自己何时在这样做，并以一种充满力量的方式对自己说：我要为改变这种模式承担责任。

And part of home cooked meal confidence involves learning to recognize when you are doing that and in a super empowered way saying to yourself, I wanna take responsibility for changing that pattern.

我想注意到我的思维何时把我带向一个并不真实的负面境地，并重新将自己锚定在现实中。

I want to notice when my mind is taking me to a negative place that isn't really real, and I want to re ground myself in reality.

随着你越来越熟练，你不仅会更快地与这些负面思维脱钩、疏离，还会学会用更有力量的思维取而代之。

And as you get better at this, not only do you more quickly disconnect and detach from all of that negative thinking, but you also learn to replace it with thinking that is empowering.

你不再想着自己有多糟糕、声音有多愚蠢、会有多笨拙，而是学会提醒自己：你有多强大、多有能力、已经经历过多少挑战，以及你将带着多少韧性面对当前的局面。

Instead of thinking about how bad you are and how stupid you're gonna sound and how much you're gonna fumble it, you learn to remind yourself how strong you are, how capable you are, how many challenges you've already endured through, and how much resilience you will be bringing into the current situation.

这并不是否认困难的感觉，也不是假装事情很容易，而真相是事情确实很难；而是诚实地面对自己内在的力量，以及你应对困难的能力。

This is not about denying when it feels hard or pretending things are easy when the truth is things are difficult, But this is about being honest with yourself about the strength that you possess within you and your ability to navigate through things that are difficult.

很多时候，在负面思维的影响下，你还没给自己一个真正机会去应对困难，就已经放弃了自己。

So often, with negative thinking, you give up on yourself before you've even given yourself a meaningful opportunity to navigate through that difficult thing.

这关乎学会不再放弃自己。

This is about learning to stop giving up on yourself.

而不是说：我不够好。

And instead of saying, I'm not good enough.

我应付不了这个。

I can't handle this.

你提醒自己，你很强大。

You remind yourself that you are strong.

你很聪明。

You are smart.

你很有能力。

You are capable.

你是个专家。

You are an expert.

你绝对能够度过这个挑战。

And you can absolutely weather through this challenge.

这就是建立家常菜式自信的第二层。

So that is the second layer of building home cooked meal confidence.

还有一层。

And there's one more layer.

最后一层是学会改变你的行为。

The final layer is learning to change your behavior.

学会在你原本会沉默的场合中发声。

Learning to speak up in rooms where you would have been quiet.

学会在你可能想要闭嘴、尽快让焦点离开你的场合中继续表达。

Learning to continue speaking in situations where you might have quieted your voice and gotten the spotlight off of you as quickly as possible.

家常菜式自信的有趣之处在于，前两层会解锁第三层。

Now the cool thing about home cooked meal confidence is that the first two layers unlock the third layer.

当你努力学会应对紧张、畏惧和恐惧等不适情绪，并且也努力识别出你内心的消极思维正在阻碍你接触内在的力量和资源时，这两种心理能力会共同发挥作用，使你在过去可能过于困难的场合中自信有力地表达自己。

When you do the work to be able to navigate through uncomfortable emotions like nervousness and intimidation and fear, and you also do the work to recognize when your mind's negative thinking is blocking you from accessing your internal strength and your internal resourcefulness, both of those psychological muscles combine together, and they result in you being able to speak up powerfully in situations that might have previously been too difficult for you.

而不是你感到：这太难了。

Instead of you having an experience of, this feels hard.

我感到不知所措。

I'm overwhelmed.

为什么这件事对我这么难？

Why is this so hard for me?

每次我遇到这种情况，都会搞砸。

Every time I'm in this situation, I mess it up.

我根本不可能开口说话。

There's no way I can speak up.

我现在连注意力都集中不了。

I can't even focus now.

我完全陷入自己的思绪里了。

I'm totally in my head.

取而代之的是，你感受到：哦，这确实很难。

Instead of that happening, you have an experience of, oh, this is hard.

哇哦。

Woah.

我感到害怕。

I feel intimidated.

但等一下。

But hold on.

我在这里并没有做错任何事。

I haven't done anything wrong here.

这种感觉令人畏惧是正常的，而我能应对这个。

It's normal for this to feel intimidating, and I can handle this.

我能度过这个难关。

I can get through this.

我会尽我所能，并为我敢于尝试这件事而感到自豪。

I'm gonna give this my best shot and feel proud of myself for even making an attempt at this.

而这种心理体验能让你感到足够强大，从而在以前觉得太难的情境中勇敢开口。

And that psychological experience is what helps you feel strong enough to speak up in that situation that would have previously felt too difficult for you.

我所描述的这三个层面，都是实实在在的努力。

And these three layers that I'm describing, this is real work.

这不会很快发生。

This doesn't happen quickly.

不会一夜之间就完成。

It doesn't happen overnight.

我希望它能快点。

I wish it did.

那样的话，很多方面都会变得更容易。

That would make things easier in many ways.

但现实是你必须全身心投入，愿意一点一点地坚持努力，而这绝对值得，因为你最终会建立起稳定而持久的自信。

But the reality is you have to be committed and you have to be willing to work at it and hack away at it slowly, but it is so worth it because you end up building confidence that is stable and lasting.

我想让你想想，吃完一顿美味的家常饭之后，你是什么感觉。

I want you to think of how you feel after you've eaten a really good home cooked meal.

那种感觉，天啊，这顿饭太美味了，每一口我都享受到了。

That feeling of like, oh my gosh, that meal was so delicious and I enjoyed every bite of it.

通过这种途径建立自信时，内心就是这种感觉，因为你知道自己已经付出了努力。

That is how it feels inside to build confidence based on this approach because you know that you have done the work.

你知道自己拥有内在的韧性。

You know you have the inner resilience.

你知道自己能够应对困难的事情。

You know that you can handle difficult things.

这带给你一种掌控感。

This gives you a feeling of empowerment.

你内心感到强大。

You feel strong inside.

它还让你为自己所成为的那个人、那位领导者感到自豪。

And it gives you a feeling of pride in the person and the leader that you are being.

因此，总结来说，建立自信的三种方式是：垃圾食品方式，它能带来令人兴奋的糖分飙升，但也会让你崩溃。

So in summary, the three approaches to building confidence are the junk food approach, which gives you the exciting sugar high but also causes you to crash.

第二种是健康食品方式，这是我们自认为应该做的，但常常让我们感到不满足。

Number two, the health food approach which is what we think we're quote unquote supposed to do but often leaves us feeling unsatisfied.

最后是家常饭方法，虽然需要更多的努力和投入，但它能带给你一种持久而稳固的自信感。

And finally, the home cooked meal approach which requires more work and more effort but leaves you with a sense of confidence that feels durable and lasting.

如果你意识到自己一直依赖垃圾食品方法和健康食品方法，现在准备转向家常饭方法，那么我在我推出的项目‘大胆表达艺术学院’中，正是为我的学员提供这样的指导。

If you're realizing that you have been leaning on the junk food approach and the health food approach and you are ready to pivot to the home cooked meal approach, this is the work that I do with my clients inside of my program, The Art of Speaking Up Academy.

在这个项目中，我帮助你建立真正的内在自信，并教你如何像领导者一样表达自己。

This is where I help you build real inner confidence, and I teach you how to speak like a leader.

在这个课程中，我不只是教你一些表面的说话技巧，而是引导你深入心理层面的修炼，从而建立起像家常饭一样扎实的自信。

In this program, I take you beyond just those tactical surface level tips for speaking up and into the deeper psychological work that will help you build that home cooked meal confidence.

我希望你即使在面对令人畏惧的听众时，也能自信有力地表达；我希望你能产生更大的影响力，并获得你作为领导者所应得的全部认可。

I want you to be able to speak up powerfully even when people in the room intimidate you, and I want you to be able to have a bigger impact and to get credit for all of the expertise that you bring as a leader.

如果你准备好了实现这一切，请密切关注。

If you're ready to make that happen, keep an eye out.

‘大胆表达艺术学院’的报名将于4月2日开放。

Enrollment for The Art of Speaking Up Academy will open on April 2.

请持续关注本播客，因为随着报名临近，我会分享更多相关信息。

Make sure that you stay tuned in to the podcast because I'll be sharing more as enrollment gets closer.

在3月16日星期一，我将开放我的免费活动‘释放你的声音挑战’的注册。

And on Monday, March 16, I'm going to be opening registration for my free event, the Unleash Your Voice Challenge.

从3月16日起，你可以通过节目说明中的链接报名参加这个免费活动。

Beginning on March 16, you can sign up for this free event using the link in the show notes.

在未来几周，请继续收听播客，因为我将分享更多关于这些内容的信息。

Make sure to keep tuning into the podcast over the next couple weeks because I'll be sharing more about all of this.

非常感谢你的收听，我们下周再见。

Thank you so much for tuning in and I'll catch you next week.

再见。

Bye.