如果你想拥有更好的生活，别再轻易答应这些事

哈佛大学进行了一项为期八年的研究，发现了影响人们幸福的三个主要因素。

Harvard did an eight year study, and they noted what are the three main drivers of happiness for people.

地位、金钱、家庭、婚姻、离婚、有孩子、无孩子都不是幸福的主要因素。

Status, money, family, married, divorce, with kids, no kids was not a main driver of happiness.

归根结底，就是这三件事。

It, boils down to three things.

今天的嘉宾是一位连续创业者、创始人、《创智赢家》的鲨鱼评委，也是一位作家。

Today's guest is a serial entrepreneur, founder, shark on Shark Tank, and author.

她致力于激励女性勇敢地说出‘yes’。

She's on a mission to inspire women with the power to say yes.

今天做客我们播客的是克里斯汀·阿苏阿德。

Joining us on the podcast today is Christine Assouad.

我们常常很容易对别人说‘是’，却很少对自己说‘是’。

We have the tendency to say yes to others very often, but we rarely say yes to ourselves.

根据他们的研究，你的人生有成百上千种不同的可能性。

Based on their research, there are hundreds or thousands of different iterations of your life.

你可以拥有数百甚至数千种不同的生活，这取决于你对什么说‘是’。

You can have hundreds or thousands of different lives depending on what you say yes to.

一旦你知道自己想要什么，说‘是’和说‘不’都会变得更容易。

Once you know what you want, the yes become easier and the no become easier.

如果我们在这方面有困难，你能和我们谈谈一些关键点吗？

Talk to me about some key things we should understand if this is something we're struggling with.

我通常会做几件事。

What I do is a couple of things.

我们是母亲、女儿、姐妹、伴侣，扮演着这么多不同的角色，我们总想付出，想为每个人提供支持。

We are moms, we are daughters, sisters, partners, so many different things, and we want to give, and we want to be able to be there for everyone.

但最重要的是要为自己而存在。

But the most important thing is to be there for yourself.

说‘不’会引发内疚感，这种内疚有时很难摆脱，常常阻碍我们对自己说‘是’。

Saying no brings up guilt that is difficult to shake sometimes and often gets in the way of us saying yes to ourselves.

那和我们聊聊内疚吧。

So talk to me about guilt.

两件事。

Two things.

首先，我曾与超过三千名女性合作过，我发现她们所有人——包括我自己——都有一个共同点：

First, we need to understand that I have worked with more than 3,000 women, and if there's one thing that I've seen in all of them, including myself is

好的。

Alright.

平衡者们，欢迎回到《平衡理论》的另一期节目。

Balancers, welcome back to another episode of The Balance Theory.

我确信，今天这位嘉宾的对话会深深引起你们的共鸣，无论你们现在处于什么阶段，想实现什么目标，以及如何切实地去实现。

I know for a fact that today's guest, today's conversation is gonna resonate with so many of you, where you're at right now, what you wanna achieve, and and really practical ways to go about that.

所以，我非常非常高兴今天邀请到克里斯汀·阿苏阿德做客本节目。

So I'm very, very excited to have Christine Assouad on the podcast today.

克里斯汀，欢迎你。

Christine, welcome.

谢谢。

Thank you.

非常高兴能在这里。

Very happy to be here.

你所撰写、演讲和制作内容的主题都非常贴近人心，尤其是对2026年正在聆听、试图创造理想生活的个体而言。

The topics and themes that you write about, speak about, do content about are extremely relatable, especially to the individual person listening to this in 2026 looking at trying to create the life they want.

我非常期待深入了解你的故事、你的旅程，以及你那本了不起的书《说“是”的力量》是如何诞生的。

I'm very excited to tap into your story, your journey, and how your amazing book, The Power to Say Yes, has come to be.

今天我想从这个话题开始讨论——《说“是”的力量》这个标题。

Where I wanna start today's conversation, the title The Power to Say Yes.

许多女性常常感到精疲力尽，正是因为她们对太多事情说了‘是’。

Many women often feel burnt out because they do say yes to a lot of things.

所以，我认为非常关键的是，你所说的‘是’，究竟指的是哪一种‘是’？

So I think a really important place to start is what kind of yes are you actually talking about?

完全正确。

Absolutely.

这一点非常重要，因为我所说的‘是’，是指对自己幸福而有意义的生活的肯定。

And it's so important because I'm talking about yes to your own happy, meaningful life.

因为我们常常倾向于对别人说好，却很少对自己说好。

Because we have the tendency to say yes to others very often, but we rarely say yes to ourselves.

我们很少花时间退后一步，思考自己真正想要从生活中获得什么。

We rarely take the time to take a step back and decide what is it that we want to have from our life.

所以，《说yes的力量》是你的一本指南，帮助你决定自己幸福而有意义的生活应该是什么样子，然后运用各种工具、技巧和故事来实现你的愿望。

So the Power to Say Yes is your guide to be able to decide what you want your happy, meaningful life to be and then execute on your wants, you know, with lots of tools and techniques and stories on how to make it happen.

所以，如果回到这本书的灵感来源，你的人生中是否曾有过一段时期，感觉你对所有人都说好，却忽略了自己？

So I guess if you take me back to the inspiration behind the book, was there a time in your life where you felt like you were saying yes to everyone but yourself?

确实如此，我相信任何听我们对话的人，尤其是女性，都曾太多次对别人说好，而忘记了自己，因为我们扮演着太多不同的角色。

Absolutely, and I'm sure anyone listening to us, any woman especially, have said yes way too often to others and forget about herself because we have so many different roles.

我们是母亲，是女儿、姐妹、伴侣、同事，有太多不同的身份。

We are moms, we are daughters, sisters, partners, colleagues, so many different things.

我们希望付出，希望为每个人提供支持。

And we want to give and we want to be able to be there for everyone.

但最重要的是，要为自己而存在。

But the most important thing is to be there for yourself.

因为当你从对自己说‘是’开始，这并不是自私。

Because when you start by saying yes to yourself, this is not being selfish.

相反，这是确保你拥有坚实的基础，这样当你对他人说‘是’时，你是出于爱而非内疚。

On the contrary, it's making sure you have the right foundation so that when you say yes to others, you say yes from a place of love and not from a place of guilt.

是的。

Yeah.

所以跟我讲讲你曾经感到精疲力尽、完全无私的时刻吧，如果我们说到极端，就是你一直在无条件说‘是’的时候。

So walk me through a time where you felt maybe burnt out, maybe completely selfless, right, if we're going to that extreme where you were completely saying yes?

比如，描述一下那个你意识到‘我不能再这样下去了’的时刻。

Like walk me through what that moment where you realized I can't I can't keep doing this.

有些事情必须改变了。

Like something needs to change.

那时你感觉怎么样？

How were you feeling at that time?

实际上，每次都是这样，这很有趣。

Actually, every time It's very interesting.

我们是在播客开始前聊起是什么让我来到迪拜的。

We started our conversation before the podcast on what brought me to Dubai.

让我来到迪拜的原因是贝鲁特的爆炸事件，那对我来说是一段非常艰难的时光。

And what brought me to Dubai was the explosion in Beirut, which was a very difficult time for me.

但当你回望时，那些让你感到彻底疲惫、不堪重负，或者对所有人都说‘好’却唯独对自己说‘不’的艰难时刻，恰恰推动了你的成长，让你成为最好的自己。

But when you look back, these difficult times where you feel that either you're completely exhausted or overwhelmed or you said yes to everybody but yourself, these are the ones that push you to grow and to become the best version of yourself.

对我而言，正是这个时刻促使我重新审视自己生活中的一切，并决定未来五十年我要做些什么。

And for me, it was this moment that triggered to re question everything I was doing in my life and to decide what I want to do for the next fifty years of my life.

我几天前刚满52岁，所以我还有48年要走，因为我希望活到100岁，我想做些真正有意义的事。

I just turned few days ago 52, so I still have forty eight years to go because I want to live till And 100, I wanted something that was really meaningful.

因此，我确立了‘赋能女性和支持创业者’作为我未来五十年的使命。

And this is how I came up with empowering women and supporting entrepreneurs as being my mission for the next fifty years.

有时候，那些艰难的时刻正是推动我们走向应有之地的契机。

So sometimes the difficult moments are the moments that push us to get to where we need to be.

那么，请详细说说，我们需要怎样的基础，才能给出全心全意的‘好’？

So run me through the foundation we need to be able to give that wholehearted yes.

因为很多时候，我相信你也深有体会，如果你是一个非常慷慨、乐于助人的人，那就很重要地去理解：在真诚地说‘好’、愿意给予，和对自己说‘好’之间，那条界限在哪里？否则你会一再地透支自己，最终损害到自身。

Because often and and one thing I'm sure you can relate to as well, I think if you're the type of person that is very generous, that you actually love giving to other people, it's important to understand, like, what's the fine line between genuinely saying yes and wanting to give, but then also saying yes to yourself versus burning out and overextending yourself again and again and again to your own detriment.

那么，我们需要为自己建立怎样的基础，才能真正明白这种倾向的根源在哪里呢？

So what does that foundation look like that we need to build for ourselves to understand where is that coming from?

完全正确。

Absolutely.

到目前为止，我已经通过工作坊、一对一辅导或其他方式，帮助了超过三千名女性。

I've worked with more than 3,000 women so far in workshops or one to ones or different ways.

我一次又一次地看到这种情况。

And I've seen this over and over again.

我们总是为别人着想，却很少花时间去思考自己。

Like, we think of everybody else and we rarely take the time to think about ourselves.

所以，第一步——这也是我在书中带你们踏上这段旅程的起点。

So, the first step, and this is I'm taking you on this journey in the book.

第一步是退后一步，思考清楚：我真正想要从生活中获得什么？

The first step is to take a step back and decide what is it that I want from my life.

我们很少真正思考自己想要什么样的生活。

We rarely actually think about what do we want from our life.

我们直接上大学、开始工作、结婚、组建家庭，却很少停下来问自己：‘那么，我，克里斯汀，究竟想要什么？’

Like, we directly go to university, start working, get married, have a family and rarely take the time to decide, Okay, what me, Christine?

我想要什么样的生活？

What I want from my life?

因此，我们设计了一些练习来帮助大家实现这一点。

So, we have quite a few exercises that explain how we can do that.

比如斯坦福的‘三种人生’、我每六个月都会做的‘生活轮盘’练习。

There's the Three Lives of Stanford, the Wheel of Life exercise that I do every six months.

还有很多小工具，可以帮助你定义属于你自己的幸福而有意义的生活。

Plenty of little tools that you can be using to define what is my happy, meaningful life on my own terms.

然后，通过设定界限、学会说不、时间管理和精力管理来实现它。

And then look at different setting boundaries, saying no, time management and energy management to be able to do that.

因为男性和女性之间最大的区别在于，虽然我刚开始时认为男女之间根本没有区别，如果有人称我为女性创业者，我会非常不高兴。

Because the biggest difference between men and women, even though when I started for me there was no difference between men and women and, you know, if someone would call me a female entrepreneur, I would be very upset.

但确实存在差异，不是因为我们能力、聪明程度或进取心不同，而是因为我们的个人生活对事业有着巨大影响。

But there are differences, not by how capable or smart or driven we are, but because our personal life has such a huge impact on our career.

你刚有了宝宝，因此你现在在重新思考很多事情，因为怀孕期间有些事情你是无法做的。

You just got a baby, so now you're rethinking a lot of the things because there are some things that you cannot do when you're pregnant.

当你家里有一个六个月大的婴儿时，有些事情你也无法做。

You cannot do when you have a six months old at home.

有时这会带来挫败感，因为我们认为这就是人生的道路，这就是成功的模样。

And sometimes this creates frustration because we think that this is the path and this is what success looks like.

但对于女性来说，成功可以有无数种不同的形式。

But for women, success can come in so many different ways.

我们可以全身心投入，也可以暂时停下，可以兼职，也可以创业。

We can go all in, we can pause, we can go part time, start our own business.

有太多不同的选择，因为我们希望在个人生活和事业生活之间找到恰当的平衡。

There are so many different things because we want to have the right harmony between our personal life and our business life.

我在书中分享了五位女性的故事，她们的经历截然不同，但都取得了非凡的成功。

And I'm sharing in the book the story of five women that have completely different journeys, but all are super successful.

我非常喜欢这一点，因为成功往往并不是只有一种理想模式。

I love that because often it's it's not this one ideal of success.

它可以呈现出非常多不同的样子。

It can look like so many different things.

在过去几年里，我自己的生活也亲身体验过这一点。

I've even experienced this in my own life in the past few years.

我是一名合格的律师。

I I'm a qualified lawyer.

是的。

Mhmm.

我从事这个职业的方式已经发生了巨大变化，从在企业里全职工作，转变为做咨询，以更好地适应我的生活，并以多种方式探索，真正契合我的个性。

And the way I've practiced that profession has dramatically changed from sitting in a corporate job to consulting, you know, to to fit my life and explore it in many different ways that'll actually align with my personality.

我非常同意你的观点，之前我在播客里也邀请过一位嘉宾，我们讨论过，我们绝不应该总是陷入‘我们需要在董事会里安排一位女性’这样的思维。

And I really do agree with you that, you know, I've had someone else on the podcast before, and we spoke about how it should never be this question of, oh, we need to have a woman on the board.

我们不应该只是为了投票而选一位女性，对吧？

Let's get a let's vote in a woman or you know?

最重要的是要选最有资格的人。

It needs to be the most qualified person.

对吧？

Right?

但如果我们从根本上来看是什么让我们不同，我认为这些差异其实非常美好。自从我和丈夫成为父母后的这六个月里，我更加注意到或更深刻地体会到了这一点。

But if we look fundamentally at what does make us different, which I think are really beautiful differences, I am noticing this or I have appreciated this more in the last six months having become mom and dad with my husband.

有些事情是我宝宝只能从我这里得到的，因为我们的生理差异，因为妈妈和爸爸的角色不同，反之亦然。

And, you know, there are things that my baby needs that only I can give her because of our biology, because of the role of mom versus dad, and vice versa.

他是那个有趣的人。

He's the fun.

他是那个陪她玩、把她抛起来的人。

He's the one that plays and throws her around.

这种事我做不到。

Like, I can't do that.

这让我很害怕。

That freaks me out.

但看到我们的差异并意识到它们很重要，这感觉很好。

But it's nice to see, you know, we have our differences, and they're important.

我喜欢你如此优美地提到，这些差异会渗透到我们的个人生活中，真正影响我们的工作。

And I like how you've beautifully said, like, it spills in our personal life, like really impacts our work.

我们需要意识到这一点，因为它确实让我们戴上了太多不同的帽子。

And it's something we need to be aware of because it does create these layers of we're wearing so many hats.

但我想补充一点，这就是我们的超能力。

But here, I just want to add that this is our superpower.

是的。

Yes.

关键在于，我们拥有选择的权利。

Like this is the fact that we have a choice.

有些女性工作，有些不工作，有些女性在有了孩子后选择加速，有些则选择放慢脚步。

Like some women work, some women don't work, some women decide to go faster when they have kids, slow down when they have kids.

我们是有选择的。

Like we have the choice.

大多数男性都全身心投入事业。

Like, most men are just going all in into their career.

我认为让女性参与进来、参与讨论重新定义成功或职业道路的样子，这一点非常重要。

And the only reason I feel that it's important to have women on board or women in discussions to redefine what success or what a career path should look like.

因为许多公司的职业路径是按照男性的人生轨迹设计的，因为他们比女性更早开始工作。

Because for a lot of companies, the career was built for a male's journey because they started working before women started working.

所以我们现在正在重新定义成功和职业，同时考虑个人生活的影响。

So now we're redefining what success, what career, taking into account the impact of personal life.

我们今天进行这些对话的原因，是因为男性也参与其中，他们希望提供支持，也希望按照自己的方式拥有幸福而有意义的生活。

And the reason why we have these conversations today, because men are part of the conversation, they want to support and they want a happy, meaningful life on their own terms as well.

我敢肯定，你丈夫今天比两代人以前更愿意积极参与孩子的成长。

Like, I'm sure your husband today wants to be much more involved in his kid's life than it was two generations Definitely.

他在家办公，而且非常亲力亲为。

Like, works from home and he's very, very hands on.

如果他不待在家里照顾孩子，我现在根本不可能坐在这里和你录这段话，因为我正在哺乳。

Mean, I wouldn't be here being able to record with you because I'm breastfeeding at the moment if he wasn't at home with her.

所以，你知道，这确实是事实。

So, you know, that's definitely true.

这就是为什么做这本书里的练习，特别是和配偶一起做‘生活轮’练习，会带来巨大改变，因为你们在定义属于你们的幸福而有意义的生活。

And this is why doing this, the exercises in the book, especially The Wheel of Life with your spouse makes a big difference because you're defining your happy, meaningful life.

他在审视自己幸福而有意义的生活，同时思考你们如何一起实现它。

He's looking at his happy, meaningful life and how can you both do it together.

因为有时候你们需要稍作调整，才能共同拥有属于你们俩的幸福而有意义的生活。

Because sometimes you need to tweak a little so that it's your, both of you, happy, meaningful life together.

你能给我们介绍一下这个‘生活轮’练习吗？

Can you walk us through this Wheel of Life exercise?

它是什么样的？我们具体该如何进行？

What does it look like and how do we actually go through it?

这是整本书里我最喜欢的练习。

It's my favorite exercise out of the whole book.

五年来，我一直和我的女儿们、我的团队、‘赋能社群’、我指导的女性们，以及所有人一起做这个练习。

I've been doing this for five years with my daughters, with my teams, with the Empowering Tribe, with ladies I mentor, with everybody.

你要看生活的十个方面，因为当我们想到生活时，往往只想到家庭和事业。

It's you look at 10 areas of your life because sometimes when you think life, we think family and career.

但我们的生活中还有许多其他方面：乐趣、冒险、回馈社会、心理健康、精神健康、身体健康。

But there are so many other areas of our life: fun, adventure, giving back, mental health, spiritual health, physical health.

生活中有太多事情是我们需要关注的。

There are so many things that are part of our life.

我坚信，我们不可能在任何时候都拥有所有东西。

I'm convinced that we cannot have it all, all the time.

但重要的是，当我们到了90岁或100岁，回首一生时，能够欣慰地觉得自己在生活的每个方面都实现了想要的目标。

But what's important is that us at 90 or 100, looking back at our life, we need to be happy that we've achieved everything we want to achieve in every aspect of our life.

但这些目标会随着时间推移而改变。

But it's going to change throughout the years.

就像不同的季节一样。

Like different seasons.

没错。

Exactly.

我称之为不同的季节。

I call it different seasons.

所以，以你为例，当你有一个年幼的宝宝时，你的重心会放在家庭和事业上。

So, for example, in your case, when you have a young baby, your focus is your family and your career.

如果你没有太多时间陪伴朋友，或者一年不能旅行十次，这也没关系，因为你明白在这个阶段，这些才是你的优先事项。

And it's okay if you don't have too much time for your friends or you cannot travel 10 times a year, because you know that in this phase, these are your priorities.

然后每六个月，你会回顾一下生活的这十个方面。

And then every six months, you review these 10 areas of your life.

你会选出未来六个月最重要的三个领域，它们将成为你的指南针。

You choose three that are your top priorities for the next six months, and these become your north stars.

因此，这是你日程表上最先安排的事情。

So, it's the first thing that comes into your calendar.

这是你最先关注的事情。

It's the first thing that you focus on.

这就是你设定界限、对其他事情说‘不’的地方。

This is where you set your boundaries and you say no to other things.

然后你也不会对其他领域感到愧疚，因为六个月后你会重新审视所有领域，重新定义：接下来的六个月，我需要什么？

And then you don't feel bad about the other areas because you're gonna revisit all the areas in six months and redefine, Okay, now the next six months, what do I need?

这真的很有意思，尤其是和我21岁和20岁的女儿们一起做这件事，因为她们知道我的优先事项是什么。

And it's been so interesting, especially doing it with my daughters that are 21 and 20, because they know what my priorities are.

我也知道她们的优先事项，我们努力互相支持，以实现各自的目标。

I know what their priorities are and we try to all support each other to be able to reach our objectives.

是的。

Yeah.

我真的很喜欢这个做法。

I really like that.

我能理解，如果以家庭为单位或和伴侣一起这样做，会多么有力量。

And I can understand how powerful it would be, like, doing it as a a family unit or with your partner.

当然。

Absolutely.

如果你们的优先事项不一致，你们会怎么做？

What do you do in moments if your priorities are misaligned?

比如，你和你丈夫，或者你和伴侣，你们俩坐下来一起做这个练习时，你们是否必须在优先事项上保持一致？还是说，存在差异也没关系？

Like, say, between you and your husband or you and a partner, like, you're both sitting down to do this exercise and, you know, it does it need to be the case that you you should align on your priorities, or is it okay to have mismatch?

如果存在差异，你们该如何最好地相互支持，应对这些不同？

And if so, how do you best move forward to support each other with the variant?

太棒了，真是个绝佳的问题。

Amazing, amazing question.

我和我的伴侣、还有我的女儿们，就遇到过这种情况。

And I have this I had this with my partner, with my daughters.

有时候，你们确实不会达成一致。

And sometimes you don't have alignment.

只要沟通清晰，不一致也没关系。

And it's okay not to have alignment as long as there is clear communication.

比如说，对你来说，事业非常重要。

So let's say for you, your career is very important.

所以你的丈夫会明白，这就是为什么你为播客留出了专门的时间。

So your husband would know that this is why you have days that are blocked for your podcast.

所以这些是优先事项。

So these are a priority.

他知道这些日子你不能去健身房，也不能晚上外出，因为第二天你有漫长的早晨等等。

And he knows that these days you cannot go to the gym or you cannot go out at night because the next day you have a long morning, etc.

所以，即使他的优先事项中朋友和娱乐占很高位置，他仍然可以调整自己来配合你的优先事项。

So, even if his priority could be friends and fun is high on his priority list, he can still adapt it to match your priorities as well.

因此，沟通在这里至关重要。

So, this is where communication is key.

总而言之，你专注于两到三个领域。

And at the end of the day, you have three areas, two to three areas that you focus on.

他也会有两到三个他专注的领域。

He will have two to three area that he focuses on.

通过彼此沟通，你们可以确保各自实现目标。

And while communicating together, you can make sure that each one reach their objectives.

但如果你不谈论这些，也不设定优先级，你总会感到不知所措和沮丧，因为你想要做所有事，出于错失恐惧症，因为你看到社交媒体上每个人的生活似乎在各方面都完美无缺等等。

But when you don't talk about those or you don't set your priorities, you're always overwhelmed and frustrated because you want to do everything because of FOMO and because you see on social media everybody's life that looks perfect on every aspect, etc.

所以设定这些优先级并定期回顾非常重要。

So it's important to set these priorities and to revisit them.

这样到了九十岁或一百岁时，你就能实现所有目标。

And this is how at 90 or 100, you can have achieved everything.

是的。

Yeah.

这确实是我想自豪地说的一件事。

It's definitely something I I'm proud to say.

比如，我和我丈夫非常善于沟通。

Like, my husband and I are very good in communicating.

你知道的？

You know?

他现在在忙什么？

What's he working on?

我目前在忙什么？

What am I working on?

我们希望我们的关系、我们的家庭能够不断共同成长，那到底想要什么呢？

What do we want for our relationship, for our family to to constantly be able to evolve together?

因为不同的阶段看起来截然不同。

Because different seasons look so different.

我的意思是，我认为成为父母虽然不是最大的考验，但却是我们共同经历过的最重大的新体验。

And, I mean, I think entering into parenthood has been not not the biggest test, but I think the biggest new experience we've gone through together.

这改变了我们关系的动态，但并不是以糟糕的方式。

And that has changed the dynamic of our relationship, not in a bad way.

我们只是在经历不同的阶段，你知道的，而在这个过程中，我们的需求也变得非常不同。

We're just, like, going through different terrain, you know, and and it our needs are very different going through that.

我们彼此相处的时间也完全不同了。

The time we have with each other is very different.

所以，进行这些对话非常重要。

So it is very important to have those conversations.

但我总是喜欢听到人们实际可行的做法。

But I always like when I hear, like, these practical ways that people can do it.

实际上，这里有一个练习，你需要坐下来，然后

Know, there's actually an exercise in here that you And this sit down and is

基于我个人的经验，以及我与本地区3000多名女性合作的经历。

based on my personal experience and the experience was working with 3,000 other women in the region.

所以它非常实用，因为最终，我不想要理论。

So it's like extremely practical because at the end, I don't want theory.

你根本找不到理论，尤其是在现在，网上内容这么多，但关键是我该如何实现？

You can't find theory anywhere, especially now online, you have so much content, but it's how can I make it happen?

因此，我们现在正在制作工作手册，举办工作坊和在线工作坊。

And this is why now we're doing a workbook, we're doing workshops, online workshops.

如果你想和其他人一起做这些练习，我们将在格鲁吉亚举办为期三天的静修营。

If you want to be doing the exercises with other people, We're doing a three days retreat in Georgia.

我们将前往格鲁吉亚，彻底断开连接。

We're going to Georgia to completely disconnect.

每天早上，我们会进行这些练习。

So in the morning, we're doing the exercises.

下午，我们会探索这个国家。

In the afternoon, we're discovering the country.

所以我正在努力围绕《说yes的力量》建立一个社群，这样你就不会孤身一人去做这件事。

So I'm trying to create a community around The Power to Say Yes so that you don't have to do it alone.

因为当你和别人一起做这件事，身边有相互监督的伙伴时，自然会推动你去实现它。

Because when you're doing it with other people, when you have accountability partners around you, automatically it pushes you to make it happen.

对你个人而言，你曾经说过的最害怕的‘yes’是什么？

For you personally, what was the most scary yes that you've ever said?

或者，你给出的最困难、最具挑战性的‘yes’是什么，它却带来了最大的回报？

Or what's the hardest, most challenging yes you've given that was the most rewarding?

我经历过很多，因为我已经从事这份工作一段时间了，所以我清楚自己想要什么。

I had so many because I've been doing this work for some time now, so I know what I want.

比如，我答应了搬到迪拜。

So I said yes to moving to Dubai, for example.

我刚刚答应了成为《黎巴嫩鲨鱼坦克》的鲨鱼评委。

I just said yes to become a shark on Shark Tank Lebanon.

所以我们刚完成了第一季，现在要开始第二季了。

So we just finished season one and we're starting season two.

对我来说，投资创业者、参与电视节目制作，这完全是全新的体验。

This is, was for me, a completely new experience investing in entrepreneurs, the TV show side of things.

但一旦你清楚自己想要什么，对我来说，我的两个使命是赋能女性和支持创业者。

But once you know what you want and for me, my two missions are empowering women and supporting entrepreneurs.

所以这属于支持创业者的一部分。

So it was part of supporting entrepreneurs.

因此说‘是’变得非常容易，但这是因为我已经准备好了，现在说‘是’也更容易了。

So it was so easy to say yes, but it's because I was ready that it's easier now to say yes.

正如我们之前讨论的，那本书仿佛是自己找上门来的。

The book, as we were discussing, like I felt that the book came to me.

是的，跟我们讲讲这个故事吧。

Yes, tell us the story

因为我刚才在问你是怎么想到写这本书的。

because I was asking you how it came to be.

是的。

Yes.

所以我最初是写给我两个女儿的信，因为我有两个女儿，21岁和20岁，她们是我生命中最棒的礼物。

So I started it as a letter for my daughters because I have two daughters, 21 and 20 years old, the best thing in my life.

作为妈妈，我想告诉她们很多事，你知道的，我40岁时学到的经验，我希望她们在20岁时就能明白。

And as a mom, I want to tell them so many things, you know, things that I learned at 40, I want them to know at 20.

当你女儿到20岁的时候，你会发现她根本不想听妈妈的话。

And you'll see when your daughter will be 20, she doesn't want to listen to her mom.

所以我最初是写成一封信，但这封信实在太长了。

So, I started it as a letter, but then it was too long of a letter.

于是我停下来思考，好吧，我该怎么写才能让内容易读、有趣、温馨，同时又包含丰富的内容呢？

So, I stopped and started thinking, Okay, how can I do it in a way that is easy to read, entertaining, nice and still with a lot of content?

于是我花了六个月的时间来构思这本书的结构。

So, it took me six months to think about the structure of the book.

我该如何以五个不同女性的故事开头，接着安排不同的练习，并带读者踏上一段旅程？

How am I going to start with the stories of five different women, then the different exercises, and to take you on a journey.

当我开始写作时，仅仅用了十五天，我就暂停了一切其他事情。

And then when I started writing, like it was fifteen days, I stopped everything.

我取消了所有会议，早上八点开始，一直写到凌晨两三点，因为眼睛都快睁不开了，但我还是想继续写下去。

I canceled every meeting I had, started at 8AM, finishing at two, 3AM because my eyes were closing, but I still wanted to go.

我真真切切地感受到，写作的过程如此流畅，如此轻松。

And I really felt that it was such a flow, such an easy process to write.

我一次性写完后几乎没有做太多修改，因为我已经准备好了——十年来我一直与女性领导者以及女性群体共事，积累了大量故事、经验和真实案例，所以一切水到渠成。

And I didn't change much after I did it in one go, also because I was ready, because I've been working for ten years with female leaders and females in general, and I have so many stories and experiences and real cases that I could be sharing that it was easy to come.

所以，当你清楚自己想要什么时，说‘是’就会容易得多，因为你已经做好了准备。

So when you have clarity on what you want, it's much easier to say yes because you're ready for them.

是的。

Yeah.

我确实经历过这两种状态：一种是几乎卡住了，事情毫无进展，缺乏动力，感觉像身处云雾中，不知道下一步该做什么；另一种是当你有了清晰的方向，世界仿佛为你而协调，门自动打开，你总能遇到对的人。

I definitely I felt both sides of that where you almost feel stuck, like things aren't moving, you don't have momentum, you you feel like you're in a cloud and you're not sure what's next versus when you have that clarity, it's like the world are just aligned for you, doors just open, you meet the right person right next to you.

完全正确。

Absolutely.

这种事情就会自然发生。

Things like that just happen.

所以我特别喜欢这一点。

So I love I love that.

这就是你写这本书的背景故事。

That's your backstory with the book.

这简直有点好笑，你知道的，你就像在《鲨鱼坦克》里当鲨鱼一样。

And it's almost funny, you know, you're being a shark on Shark Tank.

你真的坐在一个必须对事物说‘是’的评审席上。

You're literally sitting on a panel where you have to say yes to things.

是或否？

Yes or no?

是的，或者准确地说。

Yes or Exactly.

但关键是，一旦你清楚自己想要什么，并且内心坚定，说‘是’和说‘不’都会变得更容易。

But the whole thing is once you know what you want and you are strong from the inside, the yes becomes easier and the no becomes easier.

因为我们通常很难对人或机会说不，因为我们想支持每个人，也不想错过任何机会。

Because we usually have difficulty saying no to people or to opportunities because we want to support everyone and because we don't want to miss out on anything.

但这项工作和这些练习也能帮助你更好地说yes。

But this also, this work and these exercises help you saying yes.

而且，一旦你清楚了自己的优先事项，对其他事情说不就会容易得多。

And also, because once you know what your priorities are, it's much easier to say no to other things.

所以现在我知道，赋能女性和支持创业者是我的优先事项，这也是我在《Catalyst of Growth》Instagram账号、书中、《鲨鱼坦克》里以及我所做的一切中所谈论的内容。

So, now that I know that empowering women and supporting entrepreneurs are my priority, and this is what I talk about on the Catalyst of Growth Instagram, in the book, everything in Shark Tank and everything I do.

因此，当遇到一个不支持这两项优先事项的机会时，我会直接说不。

So when I have an opportunity that does not support these two, I just directly say no.

我不需要为此想太多。

I don't have to really think too much about it.

那么，如果我们从你的优先事项角度来看呢？

So then if we're looking at within your priorities, right?

你的精力是有限的。

You only have so much capacity.

假设你只能答应五个机会，但你有十个都符合你的标准。

So say you have you can only say yes to five opportunities, but you have 10 that all meet your criteria.

对吧？

Right?

我认为这与高绩效者密切相关，那些真正想取得很大成就的人。

What and I think this relates a lot to, like, high performers, people that really wanna achieve a lot.

你认为有能力和有义务之间的区别是什么？

What do you think is a difference with being capable versus, like, being obliged?

从技术上讲，这十个都符合你的标准。

So, like, technically, all 10 would fit your criteria.

对吧？

Right?

所以你本该答应所有这些，但你的能力意味着你可能只能答应五个。

So you should be saying yes to all of them, but your capabilities mean maybe you can only say yes to five.

你是如何区分这两者的？

Like, how do you distinguish between that?

就我个人而言，我会组建一个卓越的团队，这样我就能承接这十个项目。

Me personally, what I would do, I would create an outstanding team so that I can do the 10.

所以，当它们符合要求时，这正是《鲨鱼坦克》发生的情况。

So this is if they are and this is what happened with Shark Tank.

我们最终投资了大约十家公司，刚开始时我没想到会投这么多。

We ended up investing in around 10 companies and I didn't think that we would do so many when we started.

于是我打造了一个完整的生态系统，包括导师、投资者和商业教练，来支持我想要承接的这十个项目。

So, I created the full ecosystem, a group of mentors, investors, business coaches to be able to take on the 10 that I want.

所以，如果你想要达到我这种速度，身边拥有合适的人至关重要。

So, also having the right people around you are very important if you want to go at a speed that I like to go at.

否则，你就只能优先排序，看看哪个项目的影响力和回报更高。

Or else you just prioritize and you see, okay, what's the impact versus the return?

这值得我花时间吗？

Is it worth my time?

比如说，为了做这件事，我连陪孩子的时间都没有了。

I'm not going to be seeing my kids, let's say, to be able to do that.

这值得吗？

Is it worth it?

是或否？

Yes or no?

然后就是优先级的排序。

And then it's prioritizing.

实际上，书中还提到了艾森豪威尔矩阵。

Actually, there's the Eisenhower box also that is in the book.

这是我最喜欢的一种方法，它把事情分为紧急重要、紧急不重要等类别。

It's one of the techniques that I love where you put things as urgent important, urgent not important, etc.

然后我解释如何在所有机会中做出选择。

And then I explain how to actually choose between all the opportunities that you have.

但我个人尽量抓住尽可能多的机会，并组建合适的团队来执行它们。

But I personally try to take as many as I can and build the right team to be able to execute it.

我很喜欢这一点。

I love that.

如果我们从个人角度来审视这个问题，比如个人决策，它不是关于投资、工作或职业的问题，而是关于我是如何分配时间的，哪些事情该答应、哪些该拒绝。

If we're looking at this question from a personal angle, say there's personal decisions, it's not a question of investment or work or career, it's like how I'm spending my time, things to say yes and no to.

你能为我们详细讲讲紧急与不紧急的区分，以及你具体是如何操作的吗？

Can you maybe walk us through the urgent, not urgent and how you would actually you give us

当然，我来分享三个我经常使用的技巧。

Yes, an of how you I will give you three things that I use all the time.

首先是优先级排序。

So first is prioritizing.

在这个矩阵中，你有四个象限。

And in this box, you have four quadrants.

第一个是紧急且重要。

One is urgent important.

这意味着你必须去做。

This means that you need to do it.

第二个是紧急但不重要。

The second is urgent not important.

这些事情往往会从我们的日程中被推来推去，因为它们不紧急，所以你一直往后拖延。

These are the things that tend to move in our calendar because it's not urgent, so you keep on moving it.

我把它们叫做蚱蜢。

I call them the grasshoppers.

它们总是在跳来跳去。

They are jumping.

但对我来说，如果我推迟了三次，到第三次我就必须做了，因为这件事很重要。

But for me, if I move it three times, the third time I need to do it, you know, so because it's important.

然后你还有重要但不紧急、不重要也不紧急的情况，这类事情你就得停下来。

And then you have the important urgent not urgent, not important, so this you stop.

而对于那些不重要但紧急的事情，你会尽量委托给别人去做。

And then if things that is not important but urgent, you try to delegate it to someone else.

所以，这四个象限非常简单。

So, the quadrant is very simple.

就是一、二、三、四。

It's one, two, three, four.

你把所有任务或你需要做的事情都列出来。

You put all your tasks or everything that you need to do.

你专注于第一和第二类，把第三类委托给别人，然后摒弃第四类。

You focus on one, two, you delegate three, and then you get rid of four.

一旦你这么做，时间管理和精力管理就开始发挥作用了。

Once you do that, then we have time and energy management that comes to play.

所以我从第一和第二类开始，这两类我会放进我的日程表。

So, I start with the first two buckets, and these are the two things that I put in my calendar.

然后，如果还有时间，我就会做其他事情。

And then, if I still have time, I will do other things.

但对我来说最重要的是，这是我大约五六年前学到的一点：精力管理。

But the most important for me, and this is something I learned around five, six years ago, is energy management.

是的，因为有时候你明明有充足的时间，却没有精力去做。

Yes, Because it sometimes you have all the time in the world and you don't have the energy to do it.

比如说，你计划从六点到八点陪女儿，但到了那里时，你却已经精疲力尽了。

So, let's say you have planned from six to eight to spend time with your daughter, but you get there and you're completely exhausted.

所以，你没有精力去享受与她共处的时光。

So, you don't have the energy to enjoy the time with her.

因此，我会做几件事。

So, what I do is a couple of things.

首先，我称之为三明治技巧。

First, something I call the sandwich technique.

当我预知某件事会消耗我的精力时，我总会在它前后安排一些能让我恢复活力的事情。

So, when I know something is going to drain my energy, I always put something before and after that is going to energize me.

比如说，一场市场营销会议会让我充满能量。

So, let's say a marketing meeting would energize me.

所以，这就是我回家前会安排的事情。

So, this is what I would put just before going home.

一场财务或法律会议会消耗我的精力。

A finance or legal meeting would drain my energy.

因此，我不会把它安排在去见女儿之前，因为我知道到了那里时我会精疲力尽。

So, I will not put it just before going to my daughters because I know I will get there and be super drained.

所以，要管理能量，就需要管理任务和人，因为我把人分为两类：太阳型和月亮型。

So managing the energy and to manage the energy, you need to manage the task and the people because I have two categories of people, the sun and the moon.

太阳型的人一进房间，你就能感觉到仿佛阳光随他们而来。

The sun are the one when they come into a room, you know, you feel that sunshine came with them.

而月亮型的人则会耗尽你的能量。

And then you have the moon that drained the energy out of you.

他们可能是世界上最好的人，但他们总是喋喋不休。

They most probably are the nicest people in the world, but they are nagging all the time.

他们只看到杯子半空的一面，不断消耗你的精力。

They only look at the glass half empty and they drain you.

因此，清楚哪些任务和人会增加或减少你的能量储备非常重要，这就是我规划一周的方式。

So knowing also who are the task and the people that add to your energy bucket or remove from your energy bucket is very important, and this is how I plan my week.

通过设定重要事项、管理时间以及管理能量。

So by setting what's important, by managing my time and by managing my energy.

是的。

Yeah.

这真是很好的建议。

That's great advice.

那对于那些对日程掌控较少的人呢？

What about for people who are less in control of their schedules?

比如他们不是自己做生意，也不是团队领导，无法自行安排。

So say they don't run their own business or they're not ahead of a team where they can actually construct.

也许他们的日程表上全是别人安排的会议。

Maybe they are in a role where meetings get put in their calendar.

对吧？

Right?

所以他们可能无法掌控。

So they maybe cannot control.

你会建议他们额外做些什么吗？

Would you suggest like adding in something?

我们就用同样的例子，下班回家见孩子或配偶。

Let's just use the same example of leaving work, going home to your children or your spouse.

好吧，假设跑步能给你带来积极的能量，你总是安排在回家前去跑步。

Well, let's say if running gives you this positive energy, you always schedule a run before going home.

我也可以给你举一个例子。

I can give you also one example.

当孩子们还小的时候，我经常去儿童心理治疗师那里。

I used to go to a child therapist when the kids were young.

我去那里是因为我想了解在特定发展阶段对孩子来说什么是重要的。

I would go because I wanted to understand what's important for their development in a specific phase.

而且我当时非常专注。

And I was focused.

我会专注于重要的事情，把其他事情委托出去，因为我的时间不多。

I would focus with what is important and delegate the rest because I didn't have a lot of time.

我记得当他们还很小的时候，她对我说：他们并不在意你是否在场，但只要你在家，你就必须全身心投入。

And I remember when they were very young, she said, They don't care if you're not there, but when you're there, you need to be super present.

所以我总是先回家。

So I would come home first.

我总是会安排一个有趣的会议再回家。

I would always try to put a fun meeting before going home.

我会先到停车场，放点音乐，彻底放松，关掉手机，这样回家时就能带着正确的心态和精神状态。

I would get to parking, put some music on, completely disconnect, shut my phone so that when I come home, I come with the right energy and with the right mental attitude.

所以，这些都是一些小事，但最重要的是要有意识。

So, are lots of little things, but the most important is awareness.

所以，如果你愿意，我希望读者从这本书中获得的两点核心是：意识，以及了解什么对你有效，因为什么在消耗你的能量——你是个律师。

So, if you want, the two main things that I want people to get out of the book is awareness, understanding what works for you because what drains your energy You're a lawyer.

你热爱法律相关的事情。

You love legal things.

对我来说，这是一些消耗我能量的事情。

For me, this is something that drains my energy.

不同的人有不同的事情会增加或减少你的能量。

So different people have different things that add or decrease.

所以，意识是关键。

So awareness is key.