你的想法并不等于事实

欢迎收听自信青少年播客。

Welcome to the Confident Tween and Teen Podcast.

我叫劳拉，每周都会为你带来简短的节目，帮助你鼓起勇气，自信地开启新的一天。

My name is Laura, and I'm here to bring you mini episodes each and every week to give you courage and confidence to start your day.

我想提醒你，你已经足够好，你有能力成就非凡的事。

I wanna remind you that you are enough and that you are capable of amazing things.

只需要一点点勇气，就能逐步建立你的自信。

All it takes is a little bit of courage to build up your confidence.

准备好学习新东西了吗？

Ready to learn something new?

让我们开始吧。

Let's get started.

大家好，欢迎回到自信青少年播客的又一期节目。

Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of the Confident Tween and Teen Podcast.

播客。

Podcast.

非常感谢你收听本周的节目。

Thank you so much for tuning into this week's episode.

各位，我想提醒你们去查看节目说明中的所有链接，那里有帮助你建立自信的全部资源。

Guys, And I wanna remind you to head over to the show notes for all the links for everything to help you build your confidence.

自信计划将帮助你建立并提升自信。

The Confidence Project is something that's going to help you build and grow your confidence.

所以，如果你想快速开始建立和提升自信，请查看节目说明中的自信计划。

So if you want a jump start on helping you build and grow your confidence, check out the confidence project over in the show notes.

今天我们要讨论的是一个比其他任何事情都更能影响你自信的话题。

So today we are going to be talking about something that affects your confidence more than almost anything else.

那就是你的想法。

And that is your thoughts.

不是别人对你说的话，不是学校里发生的事，甚至不是你犯的错误或失败。

Not what other people say about you, not what happens at school, not even your mistakes or your failures that you have.

而是你的想法。

It is your thoughts.

因为这里有一件事大多数人根本没意识到，尤其是你们这个年纪。

Because here's something most people really don't realize, especially at your age.

仅仅因为你有某种想法，并不意味着它就是真的。

Just because you think something doesn't mean that it's true.

我花了很长时间才明白这一点。

And this took me so long to understand.

我不断尝试教我的孩子们这一点，因为我们脑子里会冒出一些疯狂的想法，然后我们自动认为它们是真的，因为我们正在这样想。

It is something that I try to teach my kids over and over again because we get these crazy thoughts in our head and we automatically think that they're true because we are thinking them.

学会这一点可以彻底改变你看待自己的方式。

And learning this can completely change how you see yourself.

所以这就是我为什么特别想探讨这个话题，并专门做一期关于它的内容。

So that's why I really wanted to touch on this topic and do an episode on this topic.

那为什么我们的想法会这样呢？

So why are our thoughts?

为什么它们感觉如此真实？

Why do they feel so real?

你有没有过这样的想法，比如自己很笨拙，总是把事情搞砸，那些女孩可能不喜欢我，或者我就是不够好？

So have you ever had a thought like that you're awkward or that you're always messing things up, or those girls probably don't like me, or I'm just not good enough?

我们都曾有过这样的想法。

We have all had those thoughts.

我知道我有过。

I know that I have.

当这些想法出现时，它们并不像是一种观点。

And when those thoughts show up, they don't feel like they're an opinion.

对吧？

Right?

它们就是感觉真实，像是事实一样。

They just feel like they're real, like they're facts.

但这里有一件非常重要、我想让你记住的事。

But here's what's so important that I want you to remember.

想法本质上只是你的大脑创造的一句话。

A thought is literally just a sentence your brain creates.

就是这样。

That's it.

这并不是证据，不是事实，也不是真实的东西。

It's not proof, it's not evidence, it's not something that's real.

这仅仅是你脑海中想到的一句话。

It's just a sentence that you thought up in your brain.

有时候，你的大脑会创造出一些非常不友善的句子。

And sometimes your brain really creates sentences that aren't very kind.

我们都经历过，我知道你也经历过。

We have all been there, I know that you have.

所以你的大脑并不是想毁掉你的自信。

So your brain isn't trying to ruin your confidence.

它根本不是针对你的。

It's not out to get you at all.

明白吗？

Okay?

它只是在试图保护你。

It's really just trying to protect you.

我们的大脑总是在试图保护我们。

Our brain is always trying to protect us.

所以，如果你走进一个房间，大脑可能会说：别说话了，你会让自己出丑的。

So if you walk into a room and your brain says something like, don't say anything, you're gonna embarrass yourself.

它以为这样能让你安全，对吧？

It thinks that it's keeping you safe, right?

如果你考试没通过，大脑会立刻想到：你不够聪明。

If you fail a test, your brain immediately goes to see, you're not smart.

你没好好学习。

You didn't study hard enough.

它以为这样能让你提前做好心理准备，以免看到试卷和分数时感到失望。

It thinks it's preparing you for that disappointment that you're gonna have once you see that paper and that grade on it.

但保护并不总是等于真相，它从来都不是。

But protection doesn't always equal the truth, it never does.

你的大脑非常嘈杂，它不断提醒你各种事情，试图保护你。

Your brain is so loud and it's constantly reminding of things to try to protect you.

所以今天在这集中，我想帮助你区分想法和事实。

So what I wanted to do today in this episode was to help you discover the difference between a thought and a fact.

事实是那些可以被证明的东西，对吧？

So a fact is something that can be proven, right?

而想法是无法被证明的。

And the thought cannot be proven.

让我给你举几个例子。

So let me give you some examples.

我那次考试得了75%是一个事实，对吧？

There is a fact that I got a 75% on that test, right?

你大脑里的想法是：我数学很差。

The thought that you have in your brain is I'm terrible at math.

另一个例子是，两个朋友一起出去玩却没有叫你，你脑子里的想法是：没人喜欢我。

Another example might be two friends hung out without me and your thought that's going through your brain is no one likes me.

另一个例子是，我在这场比赛中投篮没进，这是一个事实。

Another idea is a fact that I missed the shot in the game.

而你脑海中的想法是：我篮球打得很差。

Your thought is I'm bad at basketball.

你看出区别了吗？

Do you see the difference?

一个是中性的信息，另一个是你编造的故事。

One is neutral information and the other is a story that you're making up.

而这个故事是可以选择的。

And the story is optional.

这个故事无法被证明为真。

The story cannot be proven true.

对吧？

Right?

所以你需要明白想法和事实之间的区别。

So you need to understand the difference between a thought and a fact.

有一个事实是，你拿到了考试成绩，你得了某个分数。

There is a fact that you get your test back and you got this certain grade on it.

这并不意味着你擅长或不擅长数学，它只是说明你这次考试得了这个分数。

It doesn't mean you are good at math or bad at math, it just means this is what you got on the test.

你可以从这里出发，去理解，比如，也许我应该多学一些东西之类的。

And you can go from there and understand like, okay, maybe I should have studied more things like that.

但这并不意味着你数学很差，或者你永远都学不会。

But it doesn't mean you're terrible at math, or that you're never going to get it.

所以，你脑子里编的这个故事是可选的。

So that story is optional that you put in your brain.

因此，我们需要在这些负面想法冒出来时及时捕捉到它们。

So what we have to do is we have to catch those negative thoughts when they pop up.

首先，当这个负面想法出现时——因为这会伴随你一生，这正是人类思维的运作方式——你会注意到它。

So first, when that negative thought pops up because it's going to for the rest of your life, this is just how we function as human beings, you're going to notice it.

而不要立刻相信你脑子里的这个想法，我希望你停一下，告诉自己：我注意到我有一个想法。

And instead of immediately believing that thought in your brain, I want you to just take a second and tell yourself, I'm noticing I'm having a thought.

这句话能帮助你创造所需的空间，而不是直接说‘我很尴尬’。

That little sentence really helps you create that space that you need instead of just coming out and saying, I'm awkward.

它变成了：我注意到自己有一个‘我很尴尬’的想法。

It becomes, I'm noticing a thought that I'm having that I am awkward.

这只是一个想法。

It's just a thought.

这并不代表你是谁。

It's not who you are.

这并不是你的身份。

It is not your identity.

第二，我要你质疑它。

Second, I want you to question it.

我要你问自己：这是100%真实的吗？

I want you to ask yourself, is this a 100% true?

这个想法真的能帮助你变得更好吗？

Is this thought really going to help me get better?

这个想法真的能帮助我成长，让我觉得自己是个好人吗？

Is this thought really gonna help me grow and see myself as a good person?

我到底有什么证据？

What evidence do I actually have?

我会对朋友说出这个想法吗？

And would I actually say this thought to a friend?

大多数情况下，我现在就可以告诉你，答案是否定的。

Most of the time, I'm gonna tell you right now, the answer is no.

所以，在你质疑它之后，就像质疑一个事实一样：这真的正确吗？

So once you question it, as if it is a fact like is this is this true?

这个想法真的能帮助我应对当前的情况吗？

Is this really going to help me in this situation?

它能给我任何力量吗？

Is this giving me any power?

大概不能。

Probably not.

所以你必须明白，这些想法会不断出现，你无法阻止它们，但你必须学会捕捉它们。

So you have to understand that you are going to have these thoughts, they're gonna pop up, you can't stop them, but you have to learn to catch them.

我们无法阻止它们，只能去捕捉它们。

We can't stop them, we have to catch them.

我们必须意识到，这只是一个想法，不是事实，也不是真实的。

And we have to notice that we have to notice that it's a thought that it's not a fact that it's not real.

因为如果我们陷入这种不断用消极方式与自己对话、贬低自己的循环，情况只会变得更糟。

Because if we end up in this spiral of just talking to ourselves in these negative ways and putting ourselves down, it's just going to get worse.

这就是为什么我们现在必须学会捕捉这些消极想法，问自己这些问题，提醒自己那只是一个想法，不是事实，并问自己这些问题。

That's why we need to learn this now we need to catch those negative thoughts and ask ourselves those questions, remind ourselves that that is a thought and it's not a fact and ask ourselves these questions.

如果这是真的，你有什么证据吗？

If it's true, do you have any evidence?

这个证据能证明什么？

What evidence is this going to prove?

它会帮助我成长吗？

Is it gonna help me grow?

这能帮助我成为最好的自己吗？

Is it gonna help me become the best version of myself?

答案很可能是否定的。

And the answer is probably not.

所以反驳自己的想法可能看起来有点奇怪。

So talking back to your thoughts may seem a little weird.

但这并不意味着你在假装一切都很完美，因为我们从不追求完美，在我的词汇里，‘完美’根本不是一个词。

And it doesn't mean that you're pretending everything is perfect either, because we're never trying to be perfect because perfect in my vocabulary is not even a word.

这意味着你选择更加平衡。

It means you're choosing to be more balanced.

而不是总是告诉自己你总是搞砸，你可以告诉自己并重新解读：嘿，我犯了个错，没关系。

And instead of always telling yourself that you always mess up, you can tell yourself and reframe that that you know what, I made a mistake and it's okay.

你会从中学习，然后继续前进。

And you're gonna learn from it and you're gonna move on.

是的，也许你考试没通过，但你可以回去并改变它。

And yes, maybe you failed a test, but you can go back and you can change it.

那么也许你睡觉不够早。

Then maybe you didn't go to bed early enough.

也许你学习得不够多。

Maybe you didn't study enough.

与其想‘所有朋友都在一起玩，没人喜欢你’，不如告诉自己，也许我只是感觉有点被冷落了。

Instead of all your friends are hanging out with each other and no one likes you, you don't need to think maybe I'm just feeling a little left out.

但这并不意味着你不是个好朋友，或者完全不招人喜欢。

But that doesn't mean that you are not a good friend and that you are not likable at all.

与其只告诉自己你不自信，不如告诉自己，你正在培养自信。

And instead of just telling yourself that you aren't confident, tell yourself you are still growing confidence.

你的一生都将不断培养自信。

You are going to be growing your confidence for the rest of your life.

这就是生活的美妙之处，你总会不断成长、学习和探索。

And that's the beauty about life, you're always going to keep growing, and learning and searching.

而且生活中总会起起落落。

And it's there's going to be ups and downs.

这并不是虚假的积极，而是公平——你正在努力平衡这一切，你同样值得从自己的内心获得公平。

And it's not fake positivity, it's fairness, you are trying to balance this out, you deserve fairness from your own mind as well.

我们不能一味相信脑海中出现的每一个想法，因为它们并不总是真实的。

We can't just keep believing every thought that we have in our mind because it's not always true.

如果你相信脑海中每一个微小的想法，你就会让自己陷入完全没有自信的境地。

And you will set yourself up to have zero confidence within yourself if you believe every little thought that goes in your mind.

你是一个了不起的人，你正在听这个播客，因为你渴望成长、变得坚强、学习，这已经非常了不起了。

You are an amazing person and you are listening to this podcast because you wanna grow and to be strong and to learn and that is huge.

就目前而言，你已经比同龄人走得更远了。

You are farther along than anyone else in your age group.

我现在告诉你，因为你正在听这个播客。

I'm telling you right now by listening to this podcast.

我希望我年轻时就能听到这些，这就是我制作这个播客的原因。

I wish I would have had this when I was young, and that's why I created it.

在养育我自己的孩子、帮助他们建立和培养自信的过程中，我们都需要被教导，需要学习，需要跌倒，也需要重新站起来。

And having my own kids and helping them try to build and grow their confidence, we need to be taught, we need to learn, we need to fall down, we need to get back up.

自信并不是从不产生负面想法。

Confidence isn't about never having negative thoughts.

我们总会有一些负面想法。

We're always going to be having those negative thoughts.

这不过是作为人类的一部分，就像我之前说的。

It's just part of being human, like I said before.

但关键在于不要让这些想法控制你。

But it's really about not letting those thoughts control you.

当你学会与自己的想法分离时，你就不再伤害自己了。

When you learn to separate yourself from your thoughts, you stop hurting yourself inside.

你不再攻击自己。

You stop attacking yourself.

当你不再攻击自己时，自信就有了成长的空间。

And when you stop attacking yourself, your confidence has space to grow.

你不需要让大脑沉默，因为我们做不到这一点。

You don't need to silence your brain because we can't do that.

你只需要停止相信它所说的每一句话。

You just need to stop believing everything that it says.

所以，如果你今天只能记住一件事，那就记住这一点。

So if you can take one thing away from today, let it be this.

你的想法非常强大，但它们并不总是事实。

Your thoughts are so powerful, but they are not always facts.

你有权利质疑它们。

You're allowed to question them.

你有权利挑战它们。

You're allowed to challenge them.

你有权利用更温和的想法取代它们，我希望你能这样做，尤其是在看完这一集之后。

You are allowed to replace them with something kinder, and I hope that you do, especially after this episode.

仅仅因为你的大脑说了什么，并不意味着你必须同意它。

And just because your brain says something doesn't mean that you have to agree with it.

对吧？

Right?

我希望这一集对你有帮助。

So I hope this episode was helpful.

希望你学到了一些新的东西。

I hope that you learned something new.

如果你能分享给朋友，或者去你正在收听的播客应用里为这个播客评分和写评论，我会非常感激，这对我成长帮助很大。

I'd be so grateful if you could share it with a friend, or if you could go over to the podcast app that you are listening to this on and rate and review the podcast that would be so helpful for me to help me grow.

我会非常非常感激。

And I would be so so grateful.

我想提醒你去查看节目笔记，参与自信计划。

And I want to remind you head over to the show notes and check out the confidence project.

这是我女儿和我倾注了很多心血做的项目，我们希望它能帮助你建立和提升自信。

It's something that my daughter and I really worked hard on, and we hope that it's something that's going to help you build and grow your confidence.

我要像往常一样结束这一集。

I'm So going to end this episode like I do every episode.

所以请永远记住，你很勇敢，你已经足够好，你属于这里。

So always remember, you are brave, you are enough, and you belong here.

那我们下一期节目再见。

And I will see you on next week's episode.

祝你今天过得愉快。

Have the best day.