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别把生活看得太严肃。
Stop taking life so seriously.
没有人能活着离开这个游戏。
No one is getting out of this game alive.
三代之后，没人会记得你的名字。
And in three generations, no one will even remember your name.
如果这还不能让你获得解脱，暂时放下你的烦恼，找到一些快乐，那我真不知道什么能了，因为生活中永远都会有烦恼。
And if that doesn't give you liberation to just drop your problems for a moment and find some joy, I don't know what will because there'll never be a time when there's no problems in life.
因此，圣诞节和新年之间的这段时间，是规划一年宏大梦想和目标的绝佳时机。
And that's why this time in between Christmas and New Year is a really wonderful time to plan big dreams and goals for the year.
那我们来聊聊这个。
So let's talk about that.
克里斯·威廉姆森是全球顶尖的播客主持人和思想家之一，现在他回来了。
Chris Williamson is one of the world's leading podcast hosts and thinkers, and now he's back.
他将教导我们如何培养自律，将目标转化为成果，是什么阻碍了我们找到爱情，以及在当今社会，什么才算是一个好男人？
Educating us on how to build discipline, turning goals into results, what's stopping us finding love And what makes a good man in today's society?
确定明年你应该做什么的最好问题。
The single best question to work out what you should be doing next year.
到2026年，必须发生什么，我才能回望时认为这是一次成功？
What would have to happen by the 2026 for me to look back and consider it a success?
通常，这归结为几件关键事情。
And it usually comes down to only a few things.
第一，要想拿起某样东西，你必须先放下另一样。
The first one is in order to pick something up, you have to put something down.
所以，把目标定得不切实际并不会提升你的表现。
So setting the bar unrealistically high does not increase your performance.
比如，你可能会想减掉20磅，再找个男朋友。
Like, you'd probably lose 20 pounds and get a boyfriend.
你不可能同时做到这些，还要搬家、创业，所以请假设：我目前能做的，就是我所能做的全部。
You can't do that and move cities and start a new business, so make the assumption, I can do no more than I'm doing now.
第二，如果你的生活是一部电影，观众在观看时，他们会冲着屏幕大喊，让你怎么做？
Second thing, if your life was a movie and the audience were watching, what would they be screaming at the screen telling you to do with your life?
这很明显。
It is obvious.
这份工作并不适合你。
The job is not working for you.
杀手藏在壁橱里。
The killer's hiding in the cupboard.
因为如果你不谨慎设计自己追求的目标，你可能会花上一生才发现，自己爬了一架巨大的梯子，而它却靠在了一堵错误的墙上。
Because if you're not careful with how you design what it is that you chase after, you can spend your entire life realizing that you climbed a huge ladder that was leaning up against the wrong wall.
还有别的吗？
And is there anything else?
试图征服、追求精通、全力以赴去做事，这其中有着美妙的积极面。
So there is a wonderful upside upside in trying to conquer and trying to achieve mastery, trying to really drive yourself to go and do stuff.
但我并不认同那种‘只要感受不好，就拼命努力直到眼睛流血’的做法。
But I'm not like, your feelings, just hustle and grind until your eyes bleed either.
因为今年我学到的最重要的一课是，压抑并不等于力量。
Because one of the biggest lessons I've taken away from this year is suppression isn't the same thing as strength.
对于那些感受到情绪的男性来说，表现出他们的情绪是件好事。
It's a good thing for guys who feel their emotions to show that they feel their emotions.
对吧？
Right?
在过去十二个月里，我经历过一些最低谷的时刻。
Like, I've been at some of my lowest points over the last twelve months.
感觉更好的自己正从我指缝中溜走。
It felt like my better self was slipping through my fingers.
我意识到自己的情绪是正当的，压抑它们根本于事无补。
Realized my emotions are legitimate, and denying myself that is not helping anything at all.
发生了什么？
What happened?
请给我三十秒时间。
Just give me thirty seconds of your time.
我想说两件事。
Two things I wanted to say.
首先，衷心感谢你们每周收听和支持这个节目。
The first thing is a huge thank you for listening and tuning into the show week after week.
这对我们所有人来说都意义非凡，这真的是一个我们从未想过、也无法想象能走到今天这一步的梦想。
It means the world to all of us and this really is a dream that we absolutely never had and couldn't have imagined getting to this place.
但其次，这个梦想让我们觉得，我们才刚刚开始。
But secondly, it's a dream where we feel like we're only just getting started.
如果你喜欢我们在这里所做的内容，请加入那24%定期收听这个播客的听众，并在本应用中关注我们。
And if you enjoy what we do here, please join the 24% of people that listen to this podcast regularly and follow us on this app.
我向你们许下一个承诺。
Here's a promise I'm gonna make to you.
我会尽我所能，让这个节目现在和未来都做到最好。
I'm gonna do everything in my power to make this show as good as I can now and into the future.
我们会带来你们希望我对话的嘉宾，并继续坚持你们喜爱的节目的所有内容。
We're gonna deliver the guests that you want me to speak to and we're gonna continue to keep doing all of the things you love about this show.
谢谢。
Thank you.
克里斯，我的听众非常关心如何改善自己的生活。
Chris, my audience care a lot about changing their life for the better.
我认为在一年中的这个时候，改变是每个人都在关注的焦点。
And I think at this time of year, change is front of mind for everybody.
大家都在思考新年决心，想成为2026年的自己。
Everybody's thinking about New Year's resolutions, who I wanna become in 2026.
但当你查看数据时，有23%的人在1月底就放弃了他们的新年目标。
But when you look at the stats, twenty three percent of people quit by the end of the January, their New Year's resolution, the thing they aimed at.
大约一半的人会在一月份放弃他们追求的改变，而只有大约9%的人能坚持一整年实现他们的新年决心。
Roughly half of people will quit their New Year's resolution, the change they sought by the January, and only about nine percent of people will keep their New Year's resolution for the full year.
所以，我想问你的第一个问题是：这一年中的这个时候真的重要吗？
So I guess my opening question to you is, does this time of year matter at all?
从你的角度来看，这个时候思考改变是否是一个有益且高效的时机？
Is it a useful productive time to be thinking about change in your point of view?
我认为世界可以分为两类人。
I think the world is split into two camps.
一类人认为，1月1日和12月31日没有任何区别。
One camp says there is no difference between January 1 and December 31.
为什么非要等呢？
Like, why wait?
现在是12月10日。
It's December 10.
现在就去做吧。
Just do it now.
另一类人则喜欢这种观念：存在一个文化上合适的时机，来停止做某事并开始做另一件事。
And the other camp likes the idea of there being a culturally appropriate moment to stop doing something and start doing something else.
大多数人需要意识到，他们已经花了大量时间担忧未来和过去。
Most people need to realize that they're already spending tons of time worrying about the future and the past.
他们总是回想起那些令自己后悔的事。
They're going back to this thing that they regret.
我真希望当时能做得不一样。
I wish I'd done this differently.
哦，我一直在反复思考某件发生过的事情。
Oh, I I I have a rumination about something that occurred.
我对自己可能错过的一些事情感到惋惜。
I have a sense of wistfulness for something that I've maybe missed.
我为失去的一些东西感到悲伤。
I have grief for something that I've lost.
然后他们又担心未来。
And then they're concerned about the future.
我想，我对即将发生的事情感到不确定。
Think, I'm uncertain about this thing that's gonna happen.
我可以规划一下。
I could plan.
我可以试着找出一个解决方案。
I could try and come up with a solution for this.
所以你已经在为过去担忧了。
So you're already worrying about the past.
你已经在以一种非常无结构的方式进行反思和规划，无法选择它何时突然袭来。
You're already doing reflection and planning just in a very unstructured way where you don't get to choose when it hits you in the face.
这是一个文化上合适的时刻，也是安排上适合你停下来思考的时刻：好吧。
This is a culturally appropriate moment, like a scheduling appropriate moment for you to just step in and think, okay.
在圣诞节和新年之间，那些在零售业工作的人——愿上帝保佑你们——你们即将重返工作岗位，继续做那件事。
In between Christmas and New Year, people that work in retail, god bless you, people that are gonna gotta go back to work and do that thing.
但通常，会有一段空闲时间。
But, usually, there's a bit of downtime.
节奏会稍微慢一点。
It's a little bit slower.
这是节礼日。
It's boxing day.
你正舒服地瘫在沙发上。
You're chilling out on the couch.
你心里不禁想：哇。
And you're kind of thinking, wow.
我又在爸妈家，或者和岳父母在一起，不管怎样。
I was here again at mom and dad's house or with the in laws or whatever.
去年它是什么情况？
What was it doing last year?
去年它是什么样子？
What was it like last year?
你已经处于一点反思的状态了。
You're already in a little bit of a reflective mode.
1月1日并没有什么神奇的超级秘密秘诀，但这是一个很好的检查时机，因为生活往往会稍微慢下来。
There is no special magic super secret squirrel source in January 1, But it is a good moment to check-in because life tends to slow down a little bit.
工作时间也稍微变慢了，而你已经在做这件事了。
Work tend work time is a little bit more slow, and you're already doing this.
你已经在思考过去和未来了，这只是一个很好的结构化机会，让你去检查并完成它。
You're already thinking about the past and the future, and this is just a good structured opportunity to check-in and do it.
我想，每个人都应该问自己的问题是：我应该追求什么？
I guess the the question that everybody should be asking themselves is what should I aim at?
而且，目标太多会不会有问题呢？
And and is there such a thing as aiming at too many things?
一个好的改变目标应该是什么？
What what what is a good goal for change?
当你想到你采访过的所有人，以及你自己生活中的变化时，一个富有成效的元旦决心或目标听起来应该是怎样的？
When you think about all the people you've interviewed and the change you've seen in your own life, what what does a productive New Year's resolution or productive goal sound like?
我该如何实现它呢？
And how do I how do I get there?
嗯。
Yeah.
这让人感到非常不知所措。
It's very overwhelming.
如果你意识到，哇。
If you realize, wow.
我可以做任何我想做的事。
I can do anything I want.
我可以审视我的整个人生。
I could look at my entire life.
这太可怕了。
That's terrifying.
这绝对可怕。
That's absolutely terrifying.
我想说的是，这是你改变任何行为的机会。
One thing I would say, this is your opportunity to change anything behaviorally.
你可以改变任何你想改变的东西。
You can change anything you want.
不是你想改变的一切。
Not everything you want.
对吧？
Right?
这就是问题所在。
That's the problem.
你可以从行为上成为任何你想成为的人，但你不可能成为所有你想成为的人。
You can become anything you want behaviorally, but you can't be everything you want.
所以你需要选择少数几个目标。
So you need to pick a small number.
决定明年你应该做什么的最好问题是：
The single best question to work out what you should be doing next year.
到2026年，必须发生什么，我才能回望2026年并认为它是一次成功？
What would have to happen by the 2026 for me to look back on 2026 and consider it a success?
我认为这真的能帮你获得更清晰的视角，而且通常最终只涉及几件事。
I think that really helps to just give you a bit more perspective, and it usually comes down to only a few things.
当你这样做的时候，脑子里通常不会塞进太多东西。
You don't usually have so much in your mind when you do that.
把目标设定得不切实际并不会提升你的表现。
Setting the bar unrealistically high does not increase your performance.
想象一下这种情况。
Imagine this.
想象一下，你走进了一个自助餐厅，把盘子装得尽可能满。
Imagine that you went into a buffet, and you made your plate as big as possible.
你说：我想要所有这些东西。
You said, I want all of these things.
我要把所有这些东西都放到盘子里，让我的胃扩张到能装下它们。
I'm gonna put all of this stuff on my plate, and my stomach is going to expand to be able to fit it.
我们的胃并不是这样运作的，我们的工作量也不是这样运作的。
That's not the way that our stomachs work, and that is not the way that our workloads work.
所以第一条规则：要想拿起某样东西，你必须先放下另一样东西。
So first rule, in order to pick something up, you have to put something down.
不要以为只要你在工作量盘子里堆得更多，你的工作能力就会像胃一样扩张来容纳它们。
Don't assume that just because you've loaded more onto your workload plate, your work capacity will expand to be able to fit it into your stomach.
事情并不是这样运作的。
That's not the way that it works.
假设，做出这样的假设：我所能做的不超过我现在正在做的。
Assume, make the assumption, I can do no more than I'm doing now.
我可以替换一些事情，但不能增加更多。
I can switch stuff, but I can't add more in.
也许你可以。
Maybe you can.
也许你能挤出一些玩手机的时间。
Maybe you're gonna be able to squeeze your phone time.
也许你能变得更高效、更有生产力，等等，但最稳妥的做法还是假设这就是我手头的这块饼。
Maybe you're gonna be able to become more efficient, more productive, whatever, but it's safer to just assume this is the pie that I'm playing with.
为了拿起某件事，我必须放下另一件事。
And in order to pick something up, I have to put something down.
这非常重要，因为现在是12月29日。
That's a really important thing because at the moment, it's December 29.
我充满热情和动力，迫不及待了。
I'm with I'm full of gusto and motivation, and I can't wait.
我一定要大干一场。
I'm gonna crush it.
是的，第一周你可能确实有这种状态。
And, yeah, for the first week, maybe you've got that.
但如果你依靠动力和热情来推动自己实现目标，那么这些目标很大程度上依赖于一种你无法掌控的燃料。
But if you're using motivation and enthusiasm to work yourself through your goals, your goals are predicated largely on a fuel source that you don't have control over.
长期来看，你对动力的掌控力非常有限。
You don't have a massive amount of control over your motivation over a long amount of time.
它来了又走。
Like, it comes and then it goes.
你需要一些更稳定的东西。
You want something that's a little bit more rigid.
所以，为了拿起某样东西，你必须放下另一样。
So in order to pick something up, you have to put something down.
我认为这是一个非常重要的观点，因为当我们考虑这一年这个时候要设定的目标时，所有目标都要求更多的时间或更多的精力。
I think that's a really important point because when we think about the goals we'll start setting at this time of the year, all of them are asking for more time or more energy.
几乎所有的目标都要求：我想开始跑步。
Like, pretty much all of them ask for, I wanna start running.
我想开始去健身房。
I wanna start going to the gym.
正如你所说，这意味着我得从我的计划中去掉一些事情。
Whereas, as you say, that means I'm gonna have to take something off the plate.
没错。
Yep.
而我们通常在这个时候不会考虑减法。
And we don't think about subtraction at this time of the year typically.
我们不会想：我要减少和朋友相处的时间。
We don't think I'm going to spend less time with my friends.
我要取消Netflix。
I'm gonna cut out Netflix.
我们想到的都是增加。
We think of addition.
嗯。
Mhmm.
但从逻辑上讲，一天仍然只有二十四小时，我们拥有的能量资源也是有限的。
But logically, there's still just just the twenty four hours in a day and the the finite amount of body budget that we have in terms of energy.
所以你的意思是，我必须同时列出一份增加项和一份减少项，并确保它们相互抵消，总和为零？
So you're saying that I have to create both an addition and subtraction list and make sure that they equal out they net out to zero?
那样会是最优的。
That would be optimal.
我认为你真该问自己一个问题——让我们来探讨一些让人不舒服的问题，人们可以问自己。
I think one question that you really should be asking yourself let's go through a bunch of uncomfortable questions people can ask themselves.
那可能会很有意思。
That could be cool.
好的。
Okay.
如果我想让85岁的自己过得最痛苦，我会怎么安排我的一天？
How would I spend my day if I wanted to make 85 year old me as miserable as possible?
过去一年里，我做了什么导致我现在感到如此压抑？
What is it that I did over the last year that made me right now feel into this constriction?
好的。
Okay.
我不喜欢我与手机的关系。
I've I I don't like I don't like my relationship with my phone.
我花了很多时间在手机上。
I spend a lot of time on my phone.
我不喜欢我的早晨缺乏效率。
I don't like how my mornings aren't very productive.
我注意到，和朋友在一起时，我并不在状态。
I've noticed that when I'm with my friends, I'm not very present.
我注意到我经常独自一人。
I've noticed that I spend a lot of time on my own.
当事情变得困难时，我倾向于孤立自己。
I tend to isolate when things get difficult.
我注意到，当别人问我问题时，我养成了不讲真话的习惯。
I've noticed that I've got into the habit of not telling the truth when people ask me a question.
我注意到，当我应该为自己发声时，我却养成了不争取自己需求的习惯。
I've noticed that I've got into the habit of not advocating for my needs when I should do.
我没有很好地维护自己的界限。
I don't hold my boundaries sufficiently well.
这就是为什么反思这部分真的很重要。
Like, this is why the reflection part's really important.
那么，我要怎么做才能让85岁的自己过得最痛苦呢？
So what would I do to make 85 year old me as miserable as possible?
我会怎样度过我的一天？
How would I spend my day?
我目前已经在哪些方面这样做了？
And in what ways am I already doing that?
嗯，这些方面会有很多重叠。
Well, a lot of those are gonna cross over.
这个维恩图的重叠程度可能比你想象的要大得多。
That Venn diagram is not gonna be as far apart as you might think it is.
我以前听过你问过这个问题，如果有人在看这个，而且这是一部电影的话。
I've heard you ask the question before about if someone was watching this and it was a movie.
是的。
Yeah.
我的意思是，这个问题真的太棒了。
So I mean I mean, it's it's the this question is so fantastic.
如果你的人生是一部电影，观众一直看到现在，他们会冲着屏幕大喊，告诉你该怎样过你的生活？
If your life was a movie and the audience were watching up to this point, what would they be screaming at the screen telling you to do with your life?
这很明显。
They would be it is obvious.
离开这段关系。
Leave the relationship.
这份工作并不适合你。
The job is not working for you.
凶手藏在壁橱里。
The killer's hiding in the cupboard.
观众会冲着屏幕大喊，让你在生活中做什么？
What would the audience be screaming at the screen telling you to do with your life?
你问了三个问题，现在我要向你提出这三个问题。
So you've asked three questions, and I'm gonna ask you those three questions.
好的。
Okay.
你第一个问题是，到明年年底，必须发生什么，才能回望今年并认为它是一年成功？
So the first question you asked was about what would have to happen at the end of next year to look back and consider this year a success.
嗯。
Mhmm.
对你个人而言。
So for you personally.
我想花更多时间思考创意，少被行政事务牵绊。
I want to spend more time thinking about ideas and less time caught up doing admin.
行政事务让我很疲惫。
Admin is a drain on me.
我不喜欢邮件。
I don't enjoy I don't enjoy emails.
我不喜欢这类运营事务。
I don't enjoy the operations of that sort of stuff.
花时间去创造？
Spend time making?
或者，是的。
Or Yeah.
我想处于创造模式，而不是管理模式，好吧。
I want be in maker mode, not manager mode Okay.
这可以说是一种表达方式。
Would be a way to put it.
我想花更多时间陪朋友。
I want to spend more time with my friends.
过去很长一段时间，我一直是单打独斗的创业者，拼命工作，那种事事亲力亲为的类型。
I've been solopreneur, grind set, you know, pick it up and lift it type thing a lot for the last forever.
多花点时间和朋友在一起，多与人建立联系。
More time with my friends, more time connecting with people.
所以这是两件事。
So that's two things.
如果我能做到这一点，多花点时间陪朋友，少花时间处理行政事务。
Like, if I can do that, spend more time with my friends and less time doing admin.
你现在面临的一个问题是：我想减掉20磅，我想把卧推提升到200公斤，我想做这个。
Now one of the problems that you have is, oh, and I wanna lose 20 pounds, and I wanna get my bench press up to 200 kilos, and I wanna do this.
真的吗？
And it's like, really?
你真的、真的、真的想要那样吗？
Like, do you really, really, really want that?
因为当我思考时，我的目标要温和得多。
Because when I think about it, I have, like, much more gentle goals.
我的目标更宽泛，而这些才是我认为对我重要的东西。
I have much broader goals, and that's the stuff that I think is important to me.
如果我们考虑一下
And if we think about
你的减法框架，你需要减掉什么呢？
your subtraction framework, what what are you gonna have to subtract?
有趣的是，那些东西其实不一定是增加。
Well, what's interesting about those is that actually those aren't necessarily additions.
和朋友相处是增加，但执行功能和行政负担并不是。
The friends thing is an addition, but the executive functioning thing, the admin burden is not.
这很好，因为我希望减少做那件事，这应该能腾出一些时间。
So actually, that's nice because I want to do less of that thing, which should hopefully open up a little bit of time.
我需要去掉什么？
What do I need to get rid of?
我实际上需要减少坐在电脑前做枯燥的行政工作的时间。
I'd realistically need to get rid of some time sat in front of my computer doing boring admin stuff.
我可能还需要减少刷手机和使用社交媒体的时间。
I'd probably need to spend less time scrolling on my phone, less time on social media.
我也可能需要在训练上做出一些牺牲。
I would maybe need to make some sacrifices in training as well.
如果我晚上要多和朋友出去，我就得晚一点起床。
If I'm gonna go out with my friends a little bit more in an evening, I'm gonna have to get up a bit later.
所以我们不得不做出一些权衡。
So there's some of the trades that we're gonna have to make.
另一个问题是，如果这是一部电影，观众会大声喊什么
The other question was around if this was a movie and the audience was screaming at
嗯。
you Mhmm.
他们会喊什么？
What would they be screaming?
你已经做得够多了。
You're already doing enough.
你已经做得够多了。
You're already doing enough.
别再鞭策自己，以为幸福只在你达成下一组目标之后才到来。
Stop whipping yourself into submission, thinking that your happiness sits on the other side of the next set of goals that you're going to achieve.
你已经实现了那些你曾说会带给你幸福的目标。
You've already achieved goals that you said would make you happy.
所以，如果你现在还没实现，如果这不是生活真正开始的时刻，那什么时候才是？什么时候？什么时候？
So if you haven't made it now, if this isn't when life is going to begin, then when when when are you going to start?
有一种美妙的想法叫做‘延迟生活假说’。
There's this wonderful idea of the the deferred life hypothesis.
延迟生活假说基本上是一种普遍信念，认为我们的生活尚未真正开始，眼下的一切只是前奏。
Deferred life hypothesis is basically the sort of common belief that our life hasn't yet begun, that what's happening now is a sort of prelude.
这只是我们真正生活的序章。
It's an intro to our life truly beginning.
经过反思，许多人意识到，他们一直经历的这段前奏，其实是一个幻象，随着他们靠近，它逐渐消散，而他们实际上只是在奔向生命的终点。
And upon reflection, what a lot of people realize is that this prelude that they run through was a mirage that sort of faded as they approached, and they were actually just running toward the end of their life.
他们总是永久地推迟一切。
Like, they're permanently putting things off.
我懂。
I get it.
人们有现实的、结构性的、经济上的需求。
People have got realistic, structural, monetary requirements.
他们得起床。
They've got to get up.
他们得去上班。
They've got to go to work.
他们得该死地换尿布。
They've got to fucking change their nappy.
他们得遛狗。
They've got to walk their dog.
他们有很多事情要做。
They've got things that they need to do.
我说的不是这个。
That's not what I'm talking about.
我的意思是，很多人都认为，以某种形式，我的生活将在某个时刻开始。
My point is everybody thinks, a lot of people think, in one form or another, that my life will begin when.
他们把幸福扣为人质。
They're holding the happiness hostage.
他们处于等待状态，就像一架因某种原因无法降落的飞机。
They're in a holding pattern, like a plane that can't land for some reason.
要是这种情况永远不变怎么办？
It's like, what if that what if that never changes?
如果你生活中的问题永远都不会消失怎么办？
What if your problems in life are never ever going to go away?
要是问题永远都会存在怎么办？
What if problems are always going to be there?
那该怎么办？
What then?
哦，天哪。
Oh, wow.
我永远不会到达目的地。
Well, I'm never going to arrive.
这意味着我需要从现在开始生活。
That means I need to start living now.
我认为对我而言，确实有很多时候我会想，等今天的事情都做完了，等所有问题都解决了，我就能到达那里。
And I think for me, there's definitely a lot of, I will get there when once the tasks of today are completed, once the problems have gotten through.
生活中永远不会没有问题的时刻。
There'll never be a time when there's no problems in life.
问题是特征，而不是缺陷。
Problems are a feature, not a bug.
我有时会想，这是否只是人类进化的一种特质。
I sometimes wonder if this is a trait of just human evolution.
比如，从生存的角度来看，我的基因编码中天生就带有不断追求、不断征服、不断建设的倾向，这很有道理。
Like, makes survival sense for it to be hardwired into my genetic code to strive, to basically continue to strive, like to continue to conquer, to continue to build.
事实上，如果我的祖先没有这种特质，我们今天就不会坐在这间房间里，周围有这些灯光和先进的摄像设备了，因为这些都是一个不断追求的物种的后果。
And in fact, maybe if my ancestors didn't have that, we wouldn't be sat in a room now with all these lights and fancy cameras and such, because this is the consequence of a species that strive.
所以我在想，这是否就是作为人类的诅咒：我们无休止地追求，然后死去。
And so I wonder if this is like the curse of being human, is we just endlessly strive and then we die.
当然。
Of
当然。
course.
正因为如此，我们的后代才有更高的生存率。
And because we did, our our offspring have a higher rate of survival.
当我与来自东亚传统背景的人交谈时，他们谈论的是平静、合一与满足，但对我来说，满足感似乎如此陌生。
And like, when I speak to people from, you know, like East Asian traditions and stuff, they talk about being at peace and being at one and being satisfied and all these things, but it seems so alien to me to be satisfied.
我意识到，我的幸福不会因任何事情而改变。
I I I think I live in a dichotomy where I'm like well aware nothing will change my happiness.
但与此同时，我又完全在拼命追求，仿佛它真的能改变一样。
And then at the same time, I'm completely striving as if it would.
当然，这就是人类的处境。
Of course, that's a human condition.
我们在这两个方向上都会适应。
We habituate in both directions.
所以，如果你的祖先在找到一个洞穴后就满足了，当他们的家庭变大、需要更大的洞穴时，会怎样呢？
So if your ancestors had been satisfied when they got to a cave, when their family grew and they needed a bigger cave, When what?
你不会只去找一棵灌木。
You don't just go and find one bush.
你会找很多灌木，然后扩展，这样能带来更多的安全保障。
You find a ton of bushes, then you expand, and that gives you additional security.
但不幸的是，在现代世界中，这让我们面临无穷无尽可以去做、可以追逐的事情。
But, unfortunately, in the modern world, that causes us with an infinite amount of things that we can do and can chase after.
我们牺牲了重要的事情，去迎合紧急的事情。
We sacrifice the important for the urgent.
紧急的事情总是在我们面前：邮件、下一个会议。
The urgent's always in front of us, the email, the next meeting.
是的。
Yeah.
而这正是为什么任何人应该关心做年度回顾呢？
And this is, again, why should anybody care about doing an annual review?
任何人应该关心新年吗？
Should anybody care about the New Year?
你几乎一整年都在忙碌地生活，而这一刻是唯一一个紧急事务可以稍微退后、重要事务得以浮现的时刻。
Well, you're busy living your life for almost the entirety of the year, and this is one moment where the urgent can just take a tiny bit of a backseat, and the important can come through.
过去一年，我成为了怎样的人？
Who have I been over the last year?
我对明年有什么期待？
What do I want from next year?
每一年都是你人生中的一个章节。
Every single year is a chapter of your life.
对于明年，这将是我人生的第38章。
For next year, it's chapter 38 for me.
我希望这一章讲述怎样的故事？
What do I want that chapter to be about?
你认为，你生活中能做出的唯一一个改变，会带来最大的幸福回报吗？
Do you think there's a single a single change you could make to your life that would yield the greatest return on happiness?
比如，如果你能进入自己的‘硬件’，稍微重写一下代码。
Like, if you could go into your own hardware and rewrite the code a little bit.
我认为，少一些努力实际上会让我更快乐。
I think less striving would actually make me happier.
我认为，大量的努力和对成功的渴望，往往源于一种不足感。
I think that a lot of striving and a desire for success comes from a sense of insufficiency.
比如，如果世界能认可我的才华，我就会得到验证。
Like, if only the world recognized my brilliance, then I will be validated.
要意识到你无法用外部的赞誉来填补内心的空虚，需要很长时间。
And it takes a long time to realize that you don't fix internal voids with external accolades.
而这个问题在于，这是一条无法被教授的教训。
And the problem with that is it's an unteachable lesson.
你试图告诉人们，金钱解决不了你的幸福问题，名声也解决不了你的自我价值问题。
You try and tell people that money won't fix your happiness problem or fame won't fix your self worth problem.
你应该多去看看你的父母。
You should see your parents more.
躺在吊床上的时间从不浪费。
Time in a hammock is never wasted.
你并不爱那个漂亮的女孩。
You don't love that pretty girl.
她只是很吸引人，而且很难追到。
She's just hot and difficult to get.
所有这些都只是你到达那里之后才能学到的教训。
Like, all of these things are only lessons that you can learn once you've got there.
而那些还没到达那里的人会想，你说得倒轻松。
And people who haven't yet gotten there think, well, that's easy for you to say.
当他们最终到达时，不知为何，他们似乎会像经历过宗教启示的人一样，热情地传播同样的见解。
And then when they arrive, for some reason, they seem to evangelize the same insights, like somebody that's just gone through religious revelation.
所以，只有两种可能性是真的。
So either one of two things is true.
那些达成目标的人在撒谎，声称那些成就并没有解决他们的烦恼和内心的空虚，因为他们属于一个试图在自己登顶后抽走梯子的联盟。
People who achieve a thing are lying about the fact that that thing didn't fix their problems, their internal void with external accolades, because of they're part of some cartel that's trying to pull the ladder up after they've just gotten in.
或者这是真相，但这是一个无法传授的教训。
Or it's the truth, but it's it's an unteachable lesson.
在你真正到达那里之前，你不会明白外部的东西无法填补你内心的空虚。
You will not understand that that thing outside won't fix your internal void until you get there.
事实上，我认为，正如纳瓦尔所说，实现我们的物质欲望，远比放弃这些欲望要容易得多。
And I I actually think, to Naval quote, it's far easier to achieve our material desires than to renounce them.
比如，如果你想要一辆法拉利，真正努力工作去拥有一辆好车，从而领悟到车并不是你真正想要的东西，这比彻底消除对车的欲望要容易得多。
Like, if you want a Ferrari, it's much easier to actually work real hard and try and like, oh, get some nice car, whatever it is, so that you learn that the car isn't the thing that you want than it is to rid yourself of the desire for the car overall.
这并不是说拥有一辆法拉利很容易。
And that's not to say that getting a Ferrari is easy.
而是说，消除这种欲望几乎是不可能的。
It's to say that getting rid of the desire is essentially impossible.
我认为，我和你很可能在内心深处都曾有过某种空虚感。
I think me and you are probably two guys that, at some deep level, had some kind of internal void.
这个说法准确吗？
Is that accurate statement?
当然。
Of course.
你是在用过去时吗？
Are you speaking in the past tense?
有过。
Have.
有过。
Have.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
你现在已经取得了这么多成就。
You've now accomplished so much.
你简直就是地球上最大的播客之一。
You're, like, one of the biggest podcasters on planet Earth.
你很有名。
You're you're famous.
人们都知道
People know
你正在和世界上第二大的人交谈，而你是最大的。
who you biggest in the world talking to second biggest in the world.
恭喜。
Congratulations.
但人们都知道你是谁。
But people know who you are.
你有钱，你知道的。
You've got, you know, money.
你现在有了自由。
You've got freedom now.
你可以去任何你想去的地方，做任何你想做的事。
You can go wherever you want, do whatever you want.
人们知道你是谁。
People know who you are.
你能订到餐厅的座位。
You get restaurant reservation tables.
你做到了。
You did it.
这符合你的预期吗？
Is it what you expected?
它真的填补了内心的空虚吗？
And has it actually changed that internal void?
有趣的是，我从未真正觉得自己会有所成就。
The interesting thing is I never actually thought I was going to amount to much.
我只是对眼前正在发生的事情、我正在做的事情非常感兴趣。
I was just I was just really interested in what was doing what what I was doing, what was in front of me.
我从来没想过这会让我取得成就、定居美国或类似的事情。
I didn't think this is going to lead to me being some achieving something or living in America or whatever.
每一个不同的步骤都带我到了这里。
Each different step got me there.
但没有。
But no.
当然没有。
Of course not.
当然。
Of course.
那堂无法教授的课狠狠地给了我一记耳光：名气无法修复你的自我价值。
The the unteachable lesson has smashed me in the face, which is fame won't fix your self worth.
金钱不会让你快乐。
Money won't make you happy.
你应该多去看看你的父母。
You should see your parents more.
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你可以休息一天。
You can take a day off.
这些教训，很遗憾，你必须亲身经历才能真正明白。
Like, all of these lessons, you have to live them to learn them, unfortunately.
关于这一点，我最后一个问题是：当我问你修改代码时，你提到了修复和追求。
And my last question on this is when I asked about the change to your code that you'd make, you talked about fixing, striving.
追求的代价是什么？
What's been the downside of the striving?
普遍存在一种不够好的感觉。
There's a a common sense of not enoughness.
我会在……的时候才足够好。
Like, I will be enough when.
对吧？
Right?
因为你可以逃离你想要的东西，也可以奔向它；是的，要么逃离你害怕的东西，要么奔向你想要的东西。
Because you can either run away from something you want or run towards something run, yeah, run away from something you fear or run towards something you want.
那种不够感会带来什么后果？
And what's the consequence of that not enoughness?
这是一种匮乏感。
It's a sense of lack.
这也是一种临时性的生活。
It's also a provisional life.
它是在推迟生活。
It's putting life off.
我会在什么时候变得快乐、满足、平静？
I will be happy, satisfied, peaceful when
那是一种想法吗？
And is that a thought
你有这样的想法吗？
you have?
这更像是一种身体化的感受。
It's more like an embodied sense.
你感受到了吗？
You feel it?
感受一下。
Feel it.
嗯。
Yeah.
我确实能感受到。
I very much feel it.
这是一种追求。
It's this striving.
这是一种拉扯。
It's this pull.
这是一种向前的磁力感。
It's this sort of magnetism moving forward.
但老兄，如果你的生活是一部电影，观众看到这里，他们会冲着屏幕大喊，让你做什么？
But, yeah, dude, if your life was a movie and the audience were watching up to this point, what would they be screaming at the screen telling you to do?
这通常是指示你应该将注意力放在哪里的非常可靠的指标。
It's usually a very reliable indicator of where you should be putting your attention.
所以当我们思考明年时，一个人应该追求什么
So as we think about next year, the the things one should aim at
嗯。
Mhmm.
我听你在《高效能》播客中说过，你非常痴迷于理解成功究竟是什么。
What I've heard you I think you said on the High Performance Podcast, you said you're really obsessed with understanding what success actually is.
嗯。
Mhmm.
所以在我们进入更实际的内容之前，嗯。
So I I also just before we go into the more practical things Mhmm.
如果有人待在家里，我知道人们在你的巡回活动中经常向你提出这样的问题。
If someone sat at home, and I know people come up to you on your tours and ask you questions like this a lot.
他们坐在家里，试图弄清楚成功对他们来说到底意味着什么。
They sat at home trying to figure out what success actually is for them.
嗯。
Mhmm.
有没有什么框架、原则或方法可以帮助他们弄清楚成功对他们来说意味着什么？
Is there a framework or a principle or a method to figure out what it might mean for them?
我听过你谈到两个理念，我很喜欢，一个是区域贝塔悖论，另一个是墨西哥渔民的寓言，这两个理念都给我留下了深刻的印象。
I've heard you talk about two ideas, which I love, which is the region beta paradox, but also the parable of the Mexican fishermen, which I think both both stayed with me in a profound way.
是的。
Yeah.
所以有三件事。
So three things.
成功、区域贝塔、墨西哥渔民。
Success, region beta, Mexican fishermen.
对于任何个体来说，成功的模样都会不同，尤其是当你知道自己真正想要的是一个家庭时。
What success looks like for any individual person is going to be different for you knowing that you really want a family.
有些人就是觉得：我并不那么快。
There's people out there that are like, I'm not that fast.
我认为这并不在我计划之内，这也没关系。
I don't think that that's on the cards for me, and that's fine.
其他人可能真的、真的想放下工作，退出来，去做父亲或母亲的角色。
Other people might really, really want to put the workload down and step off and and go and do the dad or the mom thing.
很遗憾，你无法拿别人的使命或成功来用。
Unfortunately, you can't take somebody else's purpose or success.
就像，那是你的，你不能把它当西装穿上。
Like, that's that's you you can't wear it as a suit.
这是个糟糕的主意，因为根本不合身。
It's a bad idea, right, because it's gonna not fit.
有一句话说得真好：放手，否则就被拖着走。
And wonderful line, let go or be dragged.
如果某样东西不合身，迟早穿起来会疼。
If something doesn't fit, eventually, it's gonna hurt wearing it.
这意味着，如果你不谨慎设计自己追求的东西，你可能会用一生的时间才发现，自己爬了一架巨大无比、非常非常长的梯子，而它却靠在了一堵错误的墙上。
And that means if you're not careful with how you design what it is that you chase after, you you can spend your entire life realizing that you climbed a huge fucking ladder, a very, very long ladder that was leaning up against the wrong wall.
你需要确保自己不要这样做。
And you need to ensure that you don't do that.
这就是为什么我们需要静下心来，好好反思一下。
And this is why we need to just sit with ourselves, sit with a little bit of reflection.
这就是为什么圣诞节和新年之间的这段时间，我觉得特别适合做这件事。
That's And why this time in between Christmas and New Year, I think, is a really wonderful time to do this.
那么，你该如何弄清楚自己真正想做什么呢？
So how do you work out what it is that you want to do?
宏大的目标对你来说可能很难实现。
The big picture goals are going to be hard for you to to get to.
但如果你只向前看一年，未来十二个月你希望得到什么？
But if you just think one year ahead, what do I want over the next twelve months?
我认为这通常能帮到你。
I think that usually helps you.
也许你希望拥有一段关系，我希望和一个真正爱我的人建立一段认真的关系。
Maybe you wanna be in a relation I wanna be in a committed relationship with someone who really loves me.
好吗？
Okay?
现在我们可以开始讨论如何制定计划了。
Now we can start to talk about a plan to do that.
但你需要一点安静。
But you need to have a little bit of silence.
总是忙个不停的问题会阻止你听到内心深处那些转瞬即逝的想法。
It's like a problem with permanently being busy stops you from being able to listen to fleeting thoughts that are in the back of your mind.
嗯。
Mhmm.
而那安静的声音通常是最有力量的。
And that quiet voice is usually the really powerful one.
但有一句话特别精彩。
But there there's a wonderful line.
你所寻找的答案，就在你回避的沉默之中。
The answers you seek are in the silence you're avoiding.
你所寻找的答案就在你回避的沉默之中。
The answers that you seek are in the silence you're avoiding.
你冥想吗？
Do you meditate?
当然。
Of course.
你吗？
You do?
是的。
Yes.
嗯。
Mhmm.
对。
Yeah.
你呢？
Do you?
没有。
No.
你希望自己能吗？
Do you wish you did?
我觉得冥想的定义相当模糊，因为对我来说，当我洗澡时，我会洗三十分钟。
I think the the definition of meditation is quite blurry, because for me, when I'm I I will have a shower for, thirty minutes.
而我在里面做的只是思考，我并没有在清洁。
And all I'm doing in there is thinking, I'm not cleaning.
像，我五分钟后就干净了。
Like, I'm clean after five minutes.
我那时
I was
我本来想说，建议你从淋浴出来时不是身体干净，而是充满好点子。
gonna say suggest that you come out of the shower not clean but with great ideas.
没错。
Exactly.
是的。
Yeah.
不。
No.
但我的意思是，你五分钟就能洗干净，但我还会再花二十五分钟，因为水流和独处的时光会让我陷入沉思，我认为这就是我的冥想方式。
But I I I mean, you get clean in, like, five minutes, but then I spend the other twenty five minutes because there's something about the water falling and the alone time that drops me into a spiral of thinking, which I think is my version of meditation.
然后是跑步机和健身器材上的踏步机。
Then treadmills and the stepper at
健身房。
the gym.
跑步机很棒。
Treadmills are great.
是的。
Yeah.
我的冥想方式。
My version of meditation.
淋浴时的想法被高估了。
Shower thoughts are overrated.
厕所里的想法被低估了。
Toilet thoughts are underrated.
你提到的另一件我喜欢的事情是，当我们谈论成功的标准时，你提到了可观察的指标和隐藏的指标，嗯。
The other thing that I love that you talk about is what it when we talk about metrics of success, you talk about observable metrics and hidden metrics Mhmm.
成功的指标。
Of success.
对。
Yeah.
很多时候，我们会用一个隐藏的指标去交换一个可观察的指标。
So a lot of the time, we'll trade a hidden metric for an observable metric.
可观察的指标比如你的职位、年薪、有多少人认识你、你的银行存款、房子的大小、你开的车。
Something that's observable would be your job title, what your salary as per year, how many people know you, your bank balance, the size of your house, the car that you drive.
别人能看见的东西。
Things people can see.
嗯。
Yeah.
当然。
Of course.
好的。
Okay.
你成功的唯一评判方式就是外在的。
The only way that your success can be judged is outwardly.
因此，我们自然会用别人看不到的东西去交换别人能看到的东西。
So naturally, we trade something which people can't see for something that they can see.
例如，很多人愿意用更长的通勤时间来换取更高的薪水或更好的职位头衔。
For instance, lots of people would trade a longer commute for a higher salary or a better job title.
这样做会遇到的一个问题是，通勤时间长短与你的幸福感高度相关。
One of the problems that you encounter with that is that the length of your commute is one of the most correlated stats with your happiness.
更长的通勤时间 reliably 会让人们更不快乐。
Longer commutes reliably make people more miserable.
那么，你这样做后失去了什么隐藏的衡量标准呢？
And what's the hidden metric that you've lost by doing that?
那就是与家人相处的时间更少了，尤其是与正在成长的孩子们，以及与妻子建立联系的时间。
Well, that's less time with your family, with maybe your kids that are growing up, with your wife to connect.
即使你的工作本身就是你的热情所在，你也少了追求自己热情的时间。
That's less time to pursue your own passions even if your job is your passion.
那么，一个更具压力的职业呢？
So what about a more stressful career?
转行到一个压力大得多、但报酬更高的行业。
Gonna move into a different industry that's way more stressful, but it pays more.
可观察的指标。
Observable metric.
那隐藏的衡量标准是什么？
What's the hidden metric?
你晚上睡觉时的内心平静又如何呢？
What about the peace of mind that you have as you go to sleep at night?
那这对你的健康、人际关系的质量，以及你在周末能否真正投入生活有什么影响呢？毕竟你之前的上班时间是朝九晚五，而现在这个工作却是24小时待命，连手机都关不了？
What about what that does to your health and the quality of your relationships and your ability to be present on a weekend so you're not able to turn your phone off because your last job was nine to five, but this one is twenty four seven?
这很难说，因为人们确实需要实实在在的资源。
Well, it's difficult to say because you're like, people want and need real resources.
我想提升我家庭的生活质量。
I want to improve the quality of my family.
这是一件高尚的事情。
That's a noble thing to do.
但一段时间后，如果你已经过着舒适的生活，却为了获得更多而放弃它——用你的幸福、安宁去换取更多，那你就是在做出错误的选择，因为你牺牲了真正想要的东西：幸福、安宁、连接，而去追求那些本应帮你获得这些的东西：金钱、头衔、更大的车。
But after a while, you have to admit if you already live a comfortable quality of life and you trade it, you you trade your happiness or your your peace in order to get more, you're making a bad choice because you're going to sacrifice something that you want, which is happiness, peace, connection, for something that's supposed to get the thing that you want, which is money, job title, bigger car.
我觉得这和墨西哥渔夫的故事有关。
Which I think links to the story of the Mexican fisher.
是的。
Yeah.
墨西哥渔夫的寓言。
Parable of the Mexican fisherman.
一位美国商人到墨西哥度假，被一位渔民带了出去。
An American businessman was away on a holiday in Mexico, and he got taken out by a fisherman.
他问渔民：‘你每天做什么？’
And he asked the fisherman, so what do you do each day?
渔民说：‘我每天早上都在海上度过。',
The fisherman said, I spend each morning out on the water.
我稍微钓点鱼。
I fish a little.
我捕一些食物。
I catch some food.
我带回家，和妻子及家人坐在屋里，吃我当天捕到的鱼。
I take it home, and I sit in my house with my wife and my family, and we eat what I've caught for the day.
美国人说：‘这太傻了。’
The American says, that's stupid.
这是个愚蠢的想法。
This is stupid idea.
你应该买一艘更大的船，这样就能捕更多的鱼，然后拿到市场上去卖。
What you should do is you should get a bigger boat, and then you could catch more fish, and then you could go sell it at the market.
渔夫问：我为什么要这么做？
The fisherman said, why would I do that?
他说：等你卖了鱼，就可以买更多船，再请朋友来帮你，他们可以捕更多鱼，你就能开始批发销售了。
He said, well, once you've sold it at the market, you could buy some more boats, and you could get your friends to come work for you, and then they could catch more fish, and you could start to sell it wholesale.
渔夫问：我为什么要这么做？
Fisherman said, why would I do that?
那么，你就可以建一个罐头厂，把产品出口到英国，做成一个大生意。
So, well, then you could create a canning factory, and you could export it back to The UK, and you could have a huge business.
渔夫问：我为什么要这么做？
Fisherman said, why would I do that?
那样你就可以退休了，早上出去钓钓鱼，捕点鱼，下午就陪家人。
So, well, then you would be able to retire and fish a little on the morning, catch some fish, and then spend the afternoon with your family.
这和保罗·柯艾略的《牧羊少年奇幻之旅》讲的是同一个道理：一个年轻人踏上漫长的旅程，最后发现他一直在寻找的东西，其实一直就在自家后院里。
And it's the same lesson as Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist, which is this young boy goes on a huge, big journey, and he finds out the thing that he was looking for was in the back garden all along.
但这是一个无法教授的教训。
But that's an unteachable lesson.
《牧羊少年奇幻之旅》背后的重大教训是：踏上一段漫长的旅程，最终回到原点，并不等于从未离开。
And the big lesson behind The Alchemist is going on a massive journey to end up back where you started is not the same as having never left.
这就是一个无法教授的教训。
And this is what an unteachable lesson is.
你必须登上山顶，才能站在那里说：‘该死。’
You have to go to the top of the mountain to get up there and go, oh, damn it.
该死。
Damn it.
我以为那就是答案。
Like, I thought that was gonna be the answer.
但现在发现不是，我可以放下这个执念了。
But now that it's not, I can rid myself of that.
我已经把它划掉了。
I've crossed it off.
这非常不受欢迎。
And it's so unpopular.
在网上谈论这个非常不受欢迎，因为所有没有实现目标的人都认为，那个目标会解决他们的问题，而那些已经达成目标、却说它没用的人，都被视为不知感恩。
It's so unpopular to talk about this online because everybody that doesn't have a thing assumes that the thing will fix their problems and that the people who have got there, achieved it, and say that it didn't are ungrateful.
我的天啊。
Like, oh my god.
我想要的东西，他们却轻易地抛弃了。
The thing that I want, and they're just casting it away.
你怎么敢？
Like, how dare you?
你怎么敢说，我明确知道想要的东西，不是我问题的答案？
How dare you say that the thing that I know I want isn't the answer to my problems?
然而，每一个到达那里的人，都可靠地表示，那并不是答案。
And yet, reliably, everybody that gets there says it's not the answer.
这确实很真实。
It's very true.
我回想起自己18岁时在日记里写下的所有目标，现在毫不意外，我一样都没实现。
I was thinking back to all the goals that I wrote in my diary at 18 years old, and then it's no surprise that I that I have none of those things now.
那些都是些物质的东西和我追求的结果。
They're all, like, material things and outcomes I was looking for.
但是
But
让我再给你一个例子。
Let me give you another one.
一个值得反思的好问题。
A great question to reflect on.
以我现在的认知，我会给一年前的自己什么建议？
Knowing what I know now, what advice would I give myself twelve months ago?
你
Do you
知道我的答案是什么吗？
know what mine would be?
我的建议会围绕优先级展开。
Mine would be around it would be around around prioritization.
其实就是学会说不。
It would really be around the saying no.
就像你说的，关于做加法和减法，我们其实很少被教导这一点，但如果我能更擅长说‘不’，哪怕只提高10%，我的生活也会好很多。
Like, we we don't really teach it goes back to what you're saying about add adding and subtracting, but my life would be much better if I was even 10% better at saying no to things.
嗯。
Mhmm.
生活会好太多。
It would be so much better.
我会变得更有优势，嗯。
I'd be so much more the upside Mhmm.
这可不是10%的提升。
Isn't like 10% upside.
而是50%甚至100%的提升，因为专注带来的复利效应。
It's like 50, a 100% upside because of the compounding force of focus.
好的。
Okay.
所以，这就是你一年前，如果知道现在所知道的一切，会给自己提出的建议。
So that's what advice you would have given yourself twelve months ago knowing what you know now.
是的。
Yeah.
猜猜怎么着？
Guess what?
什么？
What?
这几乎肯定就是你现在需要听到的话。
It's almost certainly what you need to hear right now.
是的。
Yeah.
大问题就是大问题。
Big problems are the big problems.
就像你十年前拥有的脚现在依然如此，对你而言，心理上的主要驱动力在一生中往往保持不变。
In the same way that you've got the feet that you had a decade ago, the big drivers psychologically for you tend to be the same throughout your life.
我把别人的幸福放在自己的前面。
I put other people's happiness ahead of mine.
也许当我还是个孩子时，我就表现出这种倾向，当我感到难过时，我没有对妈妈说出来，因为我担心会让她不开心。
Maybe that showed up when I was a child, and I didn't speak up to mom when I felt upset because I was worried that it would upset her.
也许当我进入第一份工作时，当老板对我态度恶劣时，我没有为自己争取权益。
Maybe that happened when I got into my first job, and I didn't advocate for myself when my boss was treating me poorly.
也许当我进入一段关系时，我害怕向伴侣表达自己的需求，因为我担心他们会拒绝我或看不起我。
Maybe that happens when I get into a relationship, and I'm scared of making my needs known to my partner because I'm worried that they're gonna reject me or think lesser of me.
当我面对孩子时，我害怕管教他们，因为我需要他们的爱，不希望让他们不开心。
When it comes to my child, I'm terrified to discipline them because I need their love, and I don't want them to make them upset.
这是贯穿你一生的一个单一趋势。
This is a single trend that's occurring throughout your life.
而一直以来，人们最常问的一个问题是：你会对十年前的自己说什么？
And all of the time, one of the most common questions that people ask is, what would you tell yourself ten years ago?
这是个很好的问题，不是因为它陈词滥调，而是因为它几乎总是你现在最需要听到的话。
Great question to ask, not because it's a trite, but because it is almost always the very same thing that you need to hear right now.
一年前你会对自己说什么？
What would you have said twelve months ago?
别那么拼命工作了。
Stop working so hard.
停下。
Stop
别再工作了
stop working
为了保持一致性。
to be consistent.
休息一天。
Take a day off.
休息一天。
Take a day off.
每周休息一天。
Take a day off per week.
放下你的手机。
Put your phone down.
放下你的手机。
Put your phone down.
出去走走。
Go outside.
踩踩草。
Touch some grass.
现在也是同样的事情。
And it's the same thing now.
现在完全是同样的事情。
It's the exact same thing now.
你觉得你能做到吗？
Do you think you're gonna accomplish it?
我不知道。
I don't know.
我真的不知道，老兄。
I don't know, man.
我的意思是，你知道，我正在努力。
I mean, you know, I'm trying.
我正在努力，但行为设计方面我进步更大了。
I'm trying, but behavioral design I've I've got better.
我可以肯定的一点是，关于年终回顾，有一些我在十年前就定下的目标，到现在我依然在坚持。
The one thing that I can say and the beautiful thing about the end of year review, there are some resolutions which I decided on a decade ago that I still do now.
我觉得这真的很酷。
And I think that's really cool.
所以当我面临规划的机会时，因为我给自己留了一点空间。
So when I'm faced with the opportunity to plan because I gave myself a little bit of space.
对吧？
Right?
但这件事从未发生。
And it never happened.
七月里随机出现的那些习惯，很少是我坚持下来并真正在意的。
Very few of the habits that randomly appeared in the July are ones that I've stuck with and I really care about.
也许是坏习惯。
Bad ones, maybe.
也许七月里积累了一些坏习惯。
Maybe accumulated bad habits in the July.
但我真正热爱的、有意识的、与我人生方向一致的习惯，都是我刻意设计出来的。
But most of the ones that I really love, that are very conscious, that are aligned with where I want to go, they're ones that I consciously designed.
对吧？
Right?
这些习惯都是有目的地建立的，而这种做法一直围绕着复盘期进行。
They're ones that were done purposefully, and that's always been around a review period.
所以，年底其实并没有什么特别的。
So, yeah, end of the year is not special.
但你什么时候才做呢？
But when else are you gonna do it?
对吧？
Right?
你什么时候才做呢？
When else are you gonna do it?
但没错，十二个月前和十年前，我也是在做同样的事。
But, yeah, twelve months ago and and ten years ago, I was doing the same thing.
不同的行业。
Different industry.
经营夜总会。
Running nightclubs.
放松点。
Chill out.
好好休息一天。
Take your day off.
那么，我面前这个年度评估模板到底是什么？
So what is this annual review template that I have in front of me?
每年年底，你都需要有一个某种格式。
At the end of each year, you need to have some sort of a format.
如果有人想下载，可以访问 chriswillx.com/review。
If anyone wants to go and download it, they can go to chriswillx.com/review.
完全免费。
It's totally free.
他们可以直接复制粘贴到自己选择的笔记应用中，然后填写内容。
They can just copy and paste it into their Notes app of choice and then fill it in.
我意识到，当年底来临，我需要回顾这一年。
I realized that this big question of it's the end of the year, I need to look back on it.
我想反思哪些方面做得好、哪些做得不好，并规划我的目标。
I want to, reflect on what went well and badly, and I want to plan my goals.
如果没有一个结构，你就像是被抛在海上，四处漂荡，完全不知道该做什么。
Without a a structure, you're just, like, cast out adrift, freewheeling everywhere, you have no idea what to do.
所以这里有一系列问题。
So there's a bunch of questions.
比如，今年过得怎么样？
Stuff like, how has this year gone?
哪些事情进展顺利？
What went well?
哪些事情搞砸了？
What went badly?
为什么？
And why?
我学到了哪些教训？
What lessons did I learn?
哪个习惯或系统带来了我最大的成功？
What habit or system accounted for most of my success?
我花时间最值得的方面有哪些？
What are the most valuable ways that I spend my time?
我怎样才能为这件事找到更多时间？
How can I find more time for this?
有一个关于回忆的章节。
There's a section for memories.
最好的惊喜、最棒的餐食、最酷的新体验是什么？
What was the best surprise, best meal, coolest new experience?
我最喜欢的新城市、我最喜欢的新朋友是谁？
My favorite new city, my favorite new friend?
我最喜欢的一天或最激烈的一天是哪一天？
What was my favorite day or my most intense day?
我有过最棒的性体验是什么？
What was the best sex I had?
我最喜欢的一句名言、一首歌和一位艺术家是什么？
It's my favorite quote and song and artist.
然后还有一个计划。
And then there's a plan.
如果我想让85岁的自己感到痛苦，今年我会做些什么？
What would I do this year if I wanted to make 85 year old me miserable?
我做哪些事情能让我的一天过得特别好？
What are the things I do to make my day go great?
我认为有成效但实际上没有的是什么？
What do I think is productive that isn't?
我未曾意识到的真正有成效的是什么？
What is productive that I don't realize?
这两点很重要。
Those are two big ones.
嗯。
Mhmm.
然后还有一些最后的想法。
And then there's some final thoughts.
到明年年底，必须发生些什么，才能让我回首时认为这是成功的？
What would have had to have happened by the end of next year to look back and consider it a success?
为了让我人生下一章如我所愿地展开，我需要成为怎样的人？
Who do I need to become for the next chapter of my life to go the way that I want?
以我现在的认知，我会给一年前的自己什么建议？
Knowing what I know now, what advice would I give myself twelve months ago?
所以对于那些正在疯狂做笔记的人，他们可以直接访问 chriswallex.com/review，这个资源是免费的。
So for the people that are frantically taking notes, they can just go to chriswallex.com/review, and this is this is available for free.
你提到，十年前设定的目标至今仍然是你最重要的目标之一。
You mentioned there that goals you set ten years ago are still some of your most important today.
嗯。
Mhmm.
你最珍视的那些目标是什么？习惯。
What are those goals that you cherish the most Habits.
你十年前设定的、至今最珍视的目标和习惯是什么？
Habits, goals that you cherish the most that you you you set out to accomplish ten years ago?
去年我反思了自己曾经做过的效果最好的决心。
So I reflected last year on the highest ROI resolutions that I've ever done.
我认为如果人们把他们曾经做过的回报率最高的一个决议放在评论区，那会非常酷，因为这可能会创造出有史以来最有价值的新年决议的最大集合。
And what I think would be cool would be if people put the single best return on investment res resolution that they've ever done in the comments because that will create maybe the biggest repository of the highest value New Year's resolutions that anybody's ever had.
最好的决议会被上传，而差的决议则会在回复中受到严厉批评。
And the best ones will get uploaded, and the bad ones will be heavily criticized in the replies.
所以这可能
So that could
还挺酷的。
be kinda cool.
好的。
Okay.
这是一条指令，意味着如果你现在正在听，请在下方评论区留下你过去在任何领域中获得最大回报的决议。
So that was an instruction, which means if you're listening right now, leave a comment below with the resolution you set yourself at any point in the past that returned the most for you in any in any area of your life.
你最喜爱的那个。
You love it the most.
如果你同意某人的决议，请也给他们的评论点个赞。
And if you agree with someone's, please hit the like button on their comment too.
这应该会像克里斯说的那样，形成一个最具影响力、投资回报率最高的决议库。
And this should create, as Chris says, a repository of the most impactful, highest ROI resolutions.
我觉得这太酷了，伙计。
I think that's cool, dude.
我想参与。
I wanna do it.
我想知道其他人的重要决议是什么。
I wanna know what everyone else's big resolutions are.
那我来分享一下我的。
So I'll I'll give you mine.
好的。
Okay.
晚上不要把手机带进卧室。
No phone in the bedroom at night.
把它放在外面充电。
Charge it outside.
有意思。
Interesting.
这能立即提升15%的生活质量。
It's an instant 15% quality of life increase.
为什么？
Why?
因为当你用手机当闹钟时，一翻身就关掉闹钟，然后立刻开始看手机。
Because when you start your day, if you use your phone as your alarm, you roll over, you turn the alarm off, and immediately you're looking at your phone.
你还没起床。
You haven't got up.
你还没开始活动。
You haven't got moving.
你还没喝水。
You're not hydrated.
你还没让眼睛接触到阳光。
You're not seeing sunlight in your eyes.
你被世界迎面击中，被迫了解正在发生的一切，而不是拥有一个小小的宁静微宇宙，属于你自己的绿洲。
You are hit in the face by the world telling you what's happening as opposed to you having a tiny little microcosm of peace, this little oasis for you.
我理解。
And I get it.
有年幼孩子的父母，是被孩子迎面击中，而不是被手机。
People that have got young kids are hit in the face by the children, not by the phone.
但即使你有孩子，再叠加手机、刷屏和其他一切，就意味着你无法真正陪伴孩子。
But even if you do, adding the phone and the scroll and everything else on top, that means you're not present with the kids.
所以，即使孩子是个问题，你也不需要把手机掺和进来。
So even if the kids are a problem, you don't need to have the phone in there.
你醒来了。
You wake up.
这意味着你总是在另一侧。
It means that you're always on the other side.
世界正在对你发生。
The world is happening to you.
你不是在影响世界。
You're not happening to the world.
当你晚上睡觉时，你会在入睡前使用手机，这意味着你会挤占睡眠时间。
When you go to bed on the nighttime, you're going to be using your phone before you go to sleep, which means that you're going to cut into your sleep time.
你会处于一个数字环境中，让自己感觉糟糕透顶。
You're going to be in an environment digitally that's going to make yourself feel horrendous.
这不好。
It's not good.
这对睡眠不好。
It's not good for sleep.
无论是蓝光，还是有一些研究似乎表明，真正的问题不在于蓝光，而在于刷屏带来的多巴胺刺激、肾上腺素和间歇性奖励机制。
Whether it's the blue light, there's a little bit of research that seems to say that it's not the blue light so much as it is the scroll sort of dopamine trigger adrenal intermittent schedule reward thing, that that's the the main issue of what's going on.
但这也意味着，如果你睡不着，你可以翻个身拿起手机，然后不知不觉就刷了两个小时的YouTube视频。
But it also means if you can't sleep, you know, you can just roll over and pick your phone up, and now you're two hours into a YouTube scroll hole.
顺便说一句，这才是真正的你。
That's who you truly are, by the way.
人们认为你是谁，取决于你的日记条目。
People think that who you are is, you know, your journal entries, your diary entries.
不。
No.
不。
No.
你真正是谁，体现在你深夜睡不着时在YouTube上观看的视频。
Who you truly are are the videos that you watch on YouTube between 10PM and 12PM at night when you can't sleep.
那才是你真正的样子。
That's who you really are.
所以把手机拿出去，放在卧室外面，没有任何代价。
So getting your phone and putting it outside of the bedroom is no cost.
没有理由不去做。
There's no reason to not do it.
唯一不这么做的理由，是有人需要打电话给你之类的情况。
The only reason to not do it is somebody needs to ring you something or like that.
我明白。
I get it.
也许你有孩子在外面玩得很晚，你需要确保他们没事，以防发生什么意外。
Maybe you've got kids that are out late, and you need to make sure that they're okay in case some sort of catastrophe occurs.
但事实上，没有理由不把手机放在外面。
But, really, there are very few excuses to not have it outside.
收音机闹钟早就存在了。
Radio alarm clocks have existed for forever.
买一个收音机闹钟吧。
Buy a radio alarm clock.
现在就把你的手机充电线拿去放在厨房，或者客厅，或者房间的另一头。
Take your phone cable now and put it in the kitchen or put it in the living room or something, or put it on the other side of the room.
对吧？
Right?
因为你不想醒来时手机没电。
Because you don't wanna wake up with no charge on your phone.
这是最重要的一点。
The it's the single biggest.
它能提高睡眠质量。
It improves quality of sleep.
这意味着你的早晨会更好。
It means that your mornings are better.
这意味着你的夜晚会更好。
It means that your nights are better.
这意味着你更少分心。
It means you're less distracted.
这意味着你花在手机上的时间更少。
It means you spend less time on your phone.
你被迫去做一些哪怕微不足道的更有成效的事情，比如看奈飞、读书或者和
You're forced to do something even tiny bit more productive, like watch Netflix or read a book or talk to
你的伴侣聊天。
your partner.
这很有趣，因为我一直在用一个四象限图来思考这个问题。
It's interesting because I was thinking about this through a four quadrant graph.
画个图表。
Drawing a diagram.
我会把它投到屏幕上，请编辑团队帮忙美化一下，因为这样没人能看懂，这太混乱了。
I'll throw it up on the screen, please, and make it look better, the editing team, because this nobody's gonna be able this is not coherent.
但其中一个轴代表低努力的事情。
But on one axis, you've got things that are low effort.
另一个轴代表高回报的事情。
And on the other axis, you've got things that are high return.
而这个正好位于右上角，也就是非常低努力、高回报、零成本的。
And this is right up in the top right, which is like very low effort, high return Cost free.
习惯。
Habit.
没错。
Yeah.
这可能是大多数人应该追求的目标，我猜我们很多人都在追求高投入、低回报。
Which is probably where one should aim most I imagine a lot of us are aiming at, high effort, low return.
每天早晨散步。
Morning walk every day.
好的。
Okay.
早晨散步。
Morning walk.
稍微多花点精力。
Slightly higher effort.
关于这一点的研究非常出色。
The research around this is is fantastic.
休伯曼显然大力推崇这一点：早晨让阳光照射进眼睛。
Hubermans obviously push this a lot, morning sunlight in your eyes.
即使没有阳光，即使你身处黑暗、寒冷和潮湿的地方，也没关系。
Even if you don't have the sun, even if you're somewhere dark and cold and wet, it doesn't matter.
起床后进行散步，即在环境中行走并让眼睛左右扫描，似乎能降低你的恐惧反应。
Getting up and doing ambulation, so walking through an environment while your eyes scan left and right, seems to tune down your fear response.
它能让您的杏仁核稍微平静一些。
It makes your amygdala just a little bit more calm.
所以，无论是否有阳光，都很好。
So regardless of whether if there's sunlight, fantastic.
如果有阳光，那就更好了。
That'll be even better.
五到十分钟。
Five minutes, ten minutes.
我知道有些人有身体上的限制。
And I know people have got structural limitations.
我在这里假设你每天早上能抽出二十分钟来做这件事。
This is me assuming that you've got, like, twenty minutes on a morning that you could slot this into.
如果你醒来后没有立刻拿手机，那大概就是这二十分钟了。
And if you're not waking up with your phone in your hand, that probably is the twenty minutes.
嗯。
Mhmm.
对吧？
Right?
散个小步。
Little walk.
透点新鲜空气。
Bit of fresh air.
起来，穿上鞋，出发吧。
Just get up, put your shoes on, get going.
动起来就行。
Just get moving.
你不需要思考。
You don't need to think.
你什么都不用做。
You don't need to do anything at all.
不需要刷牙吗？
Don't need to brush your teeth?
起来走吧。
Get up and go.
其实可能得去趟洗手间。
Probably need to go to the bathroom, actually.
起来走吧。
Get up and go.
起床后九十分钟内不要摄入咖啡因。
No caffeine within ninety minutes of waking.
把咖啡因的摄入时间稍微推迟一点。
Just push your caffeine a little bit later.
似乎在一天的前九十分钟里，腺苷系统并不占主导地位。
It seems like the adenosine system isn't dominant during the first ninety minutes of the day.
你的肾上腺系统才是。
Your adrenal system is.
所以腺苷是与咖啡因和困倦相关的受体。
So adenosine is the the receptors that deal with caffeine and tiredness.
对。
Correct.
还有困倦。
And tiredness.
没错。
Exactly.
咖啡因会与它结合，从而阻止你感到疲倦。
And caffeine binds to it, and it stops you from feeling tired.
盐作用于你的肾上腺系统。
Salt act on your adrenal system.
所以如果你早上第一件事喝一些电解质饮料，这将有助于激活它。
So if you use some sort of electrolyte drink first thing in the morning, that will help to get that moving.
但不管研究如何，大多数人下午1点都会感到疲倦，有点困。
But the main reason for this, regardless of the research, most people have a 1PM slump, feel a little bit tired.
我觉得如果你能把咖啡因的摄入稍微推迟一点，试着坚持一下。
And I think if you just push that caffeine a little bit later, just see if you can hold on.
你醒来的时候应该还好。
When you wake up, you should be okay ish.
只是自然的皮质醇而已。
Just the natural cortisol.
你已经去散了会儿步。
You've gone for your little walk.
你看，我们现在就在这儿。
You know, you're here we are.
新的一天开始了。
The day's begun.
你真的需要在醒来后二十分钟内喝咖啡吗？
Do you really need a a coffee within twenty minutes of waking?
因为大多数人第一件事就是喝咖啡。
Because that's what most people's first thing is.
看看会发生什么。
Just see what happens.
试一试。
Test it.
看看如果你把时间推迟九十分钟，会有什么感觉。
See what happens if you push it back by ninety minutes and see how you feel.
至少对我来说，我知道这样效果很好。
At least for me, I know that that works well.
六个月不喝酒。
No alcohol for six months.
这是一大挑战。
That's a big one.
这对很多人来说要付出更多努力，即使那些喝酒不多的人也是如此，因为很多你参加的聚会活动本身并不特别有趣，有些人会用酒精来让家庭聚会、婚礼或生日更轻松一些。
This is much more high effort for a lot of people, even people that don't drink that much, because a lot of the parties and things that you attend are not superbly fun, and some people use alcohol in order to make their family or the wedding or the birthday a little bit more comfortable.
社交润滑剂。
Social lubricant.
对。
Correct.
是的。
Yeah.
当然。
Of course.
但如果你戒酒六个月，这会迫使你思考：我真的想去那个派对吗？
But if you take alcohol out for about six months, what it forces you to do is think, do I really wanna go to that party?
我实际上是在用酒精麻痹自己，以应对周围的人。
I'm actually having to anesthetize myself of the people that I'm around.
如果你只有在喝酒时才能忍受和朋友在一起，那可能不是一个好迹象。
Like, if you can only bear to be around your friends when you're drinking, that's probably not a good indication.
如果你的朋友只在你喝酒时才想和你在一起，那他们不是朋友。
And if your friends only want you to be around them when you're drinking, they're not friends.
他们只是酒友。
They're drinking partners.
所以我认为酒精就像一个巨大的东西。
So I think alcohol is a a a big just like it.
它只是让我更开心。
It just makes me have more fun.
唉，我懂。
All hey.
我明白。
I get it.
但我认为，如果人们仔细审视，他们会意识到自己在用酒精当拐杖。
But I think if people look at it closely, they realize that they're using alcohol as a bit of a crutch.
他们用它来增强自己。
They're using it to bolster themselves in a way.
有趣的是，这是一个你只有在真正放弃一段时间后，才会明白其隐藏代价的领域。
What's interesting is it's one of those areas where you don't understand the hidden cost until you really give it up for a while.
我反思自己与饮酒的关系，我在30岁时戒酒了。
And I think about my own relationship with drinking, I stopped drinking at 30 years old.
我现在33岁。
I'm now 33.
我喝酒只是因为我想喝。
And I had just drank because I just drank.
我从未尝试过彻底戒酒一段时间。
I'd never run the experiment of just giving it up for a while.
然后，我不知道，大概31岁的时候，我想，要不再喝一次吧，这样我就能真正做个A/B测试了。
And I and then like, I don't know, maybe I was at 31, thought, you know, have a drink again because now I could really AB test it.
我有一年没喝酒，然后决定再喝一次。
I had a year of not drinking, decided to have a drink again.
它毁掉了我三天的生活。
It ruined three days of my life.
我喝了两三杯葡萄酒，并没有喝醉。
I had a couple of glasses of wine, didn't get drunk.
它毁掉了我三天的生活，因为引发了连锁反应。
It ruined three days of my life because of the domino effect it caused.
所以那晚我的睡眠质量变得更差，而因为那晚睡眠变差，第二天我吃得更差，因为我的多巴胺系统或皮质醇系统全都乱了。
So it meant that I got worse sleep that night, and then because I got worse sleep that night, I ate more poorly the the next day because my my dopamine system or whatever, the cortisol system was all messed
这太棒了。
That's brilliant.
是的。
Yeah.
然后我做的播客也更差了。
And then I I podcasted worse.
那天之后或第二天我没去健身房，因为感觉特别糟糕。
I didn't go to the gym the the day after that that day or the day after because of that because I felt really bad.
然后睡得更差，我可以在一周内追踪到所有这些变化。
Then slept worse, and I could track all of this on my week.
标签广告，标签赞助，标签投资者，随便什么。
Hashtag ad, hashtag sponsor, hashtag investor, whatever.
嘿。
Hey.
嗯。
Yeah.
我当时想，天哪。
And I was like, oh my god.
那三杯葡萄酒产生了我可能一直都在经历的连锁反应。
Those three glasses of wine had this hidden domino effect that I must have been living with
嗯。
Yeah.
我整个一生都在经历这个。
For my whole life.
老兄，很多人想养成习惯。
Dude, so many people want to build habits.
他们想建立冥想习惯。
They want to build meditation routine.
他们想更规律地去健身房。
They want to go to the gym more consistently.
他们想改善饮食习惯。
They want to improve their eating habits.
他们没有意识到，阻碍他们这样做的是每周四晚杯子里的那杯酒。
They don't realize that the thing that's stopping them from doing that is sat at the bottom of the glass of wine that they have four nights a week.
这很难。
It's tough.
有些人能做到，而且他们并不在意。
Some people are able to do it, and they don't mind.
对某些人来说，成本收益比很高。
The cost benefit ratio for some people is great.
我只是说，试试看。
I'm just saying try.
就试试看。
Just try.
试六个月。
Try six months.
你需要设定一个截止日期，因为这就像一场你知道终点线在哪里的比赛。
The reason that you need to put an end date on it is that you have it's like running a race where you know that there's a finish line.
如果没有终点线，跑这场比赛会非常困难。
If there's no finish line, it's really hard to run the race.
你如何激励自己达到目标？
How are you motivating yourself to get there?
我认为九十天是最少的底线。
I think that ninety days would be the absolute minimum.
三十天不够长。
Thirty days isn't long enough.
你需要更长的时间。
You need longer.
对吧？
Right?
尤其是因为最难的部分是开始，这意味着你在最开始就承受了所有的痛苦，却还没有享受到这种新习惯带来的任何好处。
And especially given that the hardest bit is the start, which means that you've paid all of the pain at the very beginning to not actually get any of the benefits of this being my new habit.
嗯。
Mhmm.
找一个问责伙伴一起做。
Do it with an accountability buddy.
和你的伴侣一起做。
Do it with your partner.
说，嘿。
Say, hey.
我听了那两个英国傻瓜谈论不喝酒可能是个好主意。
I listened to those two British idiots talk about how not drinking might be a good idea.
我们为什么不试试呢？
Why don't we do that?
我们为什么不尝试到七月都戒酒呢？
Why don't we try going sober until July?
你还没错过夏天。
You haven't missed the summer.
对吧？
Right?
夏天就要开始了。
The summer's just about to kick in.
所以如果你想，哦，我等不及要重新喝酒了。
So if you think, oh, I can't wait to get back to drinking.
你可以在啤酒花园里喝一杯啤酒。
You can have a a beer in a beer garden.
绝大多数人并不想再回去喝酒。
A huge proportion of people will not want to go back to drinking.
他们会去做，休息一段时间，深入体验，然后意识到：我其实并不喜欢这样。
They'll do it, take time off, get into it, and realize, I actually don't like this.
我喜欢的是，我现在从培养好习惯中获得了更多回报，比如开始冥想、按时起床、能更频繁地去健身房。
I love the fact I got more reward from building good habits, from now having a meditation practice, from now getting up on time, from being able to go to the gym more.
我已经比以前更依赖这些，而不是酒精。
I've become more dependent on that than I ever was on the alcohol.
这是一个观点。
This is an idea.
当我们谈论习惯，读这些关于习惯的书时，我们通常瞄准的是多米诺骨牌中的第九块。
When we talk about habits and when we read these habit books, we we're often aiming at, like, the ninth domino in a set of dominoes.
我当时就在想，也许对话应该从那些基础性的东西开始？
And I was just thinking then, like, the conversation probably needs to start with what are like the foundational things?
第一块多米诺骨牌是什么？
What is the first domino?
因为科学告诉我们，我选择吃什么，很大程度上取决于我今天的荷尔蒙平衡。
Because we know from science that what I choose to eat is heavily impacted by my hormone balance today.
我的荷尔蒙平衡受到睡眠、情绪调节等所有这些因素的影响。
My hormone balance is impacted by my sleep, my emotional regulation, all these things.
所以很多人直接瞄准第九块多米诺，以为只要改变这一块就够了，却根本不知道它其实是其他基础性决策的下游结果。
So a lot of people aim at domino number nine and think, we'll change that one, having no idea that actually this is downstream from a set of other foundational decisions.
即使像我这样经常和科学家、专家坐在一起的人，如果我的核心状态不好，我选对食物或去健身的可能性也会非常低。
And I you know, even as someone that sits here with scientists and experts all the time, if my, like, core state isn't good, the chance that I'm gonna pick the right thing or go to the gym is extremely low.
聪明本身毫无意义，除非你内心平和。
Being smart is basically pointless unless you're at peace.
任何程度的智慧都可能被自我、不安全感、不道德、不良激励、急躁或睡眠不足所压倒。
Like, any amount of intelligence can be overridden by ego or insecurity or immorality or bad incentives or impatience or poor sleep.
没错。
Yeah.
在我看来，睡眠就像是雪崩顶端的那颗小石子。
Sleep is, as far as I can see, just it's the the pebble at the top of the avalanche.
它是导致其他一切变得糟糕的入门钥匙。
It's the gateway drug to everything else being horrendous.
你对咖啡因的摄入影响了你的睡眠。
Your caffeine use is impacting your sleep.
你对手机的使用影响了你的睡眠。
Your phone use is impacting your sleep.
你晚上饮酒影响了你的睡眠。
Your alcohol in the evening time is impacting your sleep.
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